In Media Res
Session Start: Thu Oct 02 23:37:55 2003
Session Ident: #paranoia
* Logging #paranoia to 'logs\#paranoia.EsperNet.log'
<AlcarGM> <-- session start -->
<AlcarGM> You're both relaxing in Troubleshooter HQ in IAM sector, passing the time by playing Commie: The Hunting, a card game involving batteries, various sectors (white, red, blue, and black being the most common) and tapping the table to indicate when your turn is up
<AlcarGM> If you split too many knuckles on the syntheplastic you're tapped out. Just as the game is getting interesting as loud wailing klaxon fills the air:
<AlcarGM> "Ring! Ring! Ring! I'm sorry, no one is available to take your call at the moment. Please hang uo, and try your call again. This has been a recording." followed by a very loud *BEEEP*
<AlcarGM> err, up....
<AlcarGM> Into the sudden silence the screen saver on the Computer terminal closest to you is replaced by a message from Your Friend! You eagerly rush over in time to read " ** ERGENT MASAGE ** TEEM OHMGOD PLS GO TO TEH HALWAY LOOOOL + ROOT OUT TEH COMIES 4 ME. KTHX PLS.
<AlcarGM> This is followed by "ERROR 404: File Not Found. Aditionallly a 404 error was found while trying to process the error message for this directive."
<AlcarGM> At that moment, while trying to puzzle out the test of wits The Computer has obviously given you, you hear the sound of laser fire in the hallway outside the HQ! Voices can be heard shouting "Death to the Federation!" and "Commie scum!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << looks like the commies beat the computer. >>
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` grabs his laser pistol
<AlcarGM> What are you both doing?
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` heads out into the hallway ready to shoot some trouble for friend Computer!
<AlcarGM> And you, Pur_NRG-1?
* Pur_NRG-1` nods
<AlcarGM> Outside, two group of infareds are fighting with illegally bought lasers. The group backing up towards your position is in the normal black except weilding red lasers. The other are infareds dressed in odd red shirts wiht gold symols ... Trekkies! The trekkies are firing orange phasers - err, lasers - and a man in the back wearing an orange shirt and carrying an experimental weapon of some kind, urging them on!
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O: "We must defeat them and save Spock!"
<AlcarGM> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_kirk.jpg
<AlcarGM> The trekkie infareds wearing red begin shooting at the other infrareds who are shouting "We rule!" and have begin to sing loudly: "Through tempests the laser rays of freedom have cheered us, / Along the new path where great Len-I-NN did lead. /Be true to the people, thus Stal-I-NNN has reared us, / Inspire us to labor and valorous deed!"
<AlcarGM> </end canned intro>
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` looks at the two groups.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend computer, which group is the commies?"{
<The_Computer> (over your com) "Thatinformation is not avilable at your security level, citizen.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Thank you friend Computer!"
* Pur_NRG-1` blinks and takes out his laser pistol
<AlcarGM> The snging infareds - 12 or so - are bcking up towards your position, firing at the 8 trekkies and singing loudly about whoever Len-I-NN is....
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` looks at Pur_NRG-1`
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O: "Where is Spock, Khan! Tell us or else!" He hasn't seen either of you yet, fortunately for him.
<AlcarGM> One of the infareds steps forward and shouts "NEVER! We will kill the mutant!"
<AlcarGM> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_khan.jpg
<AlcarGM> then begin exchanging more fire, Kirk aiming his weapon at Khan
<The_Computer> "What is the status of your mission?"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "About to be completed, friend Computer!"
<AlcarGM> What are you both doing?
* Pur_NRG-1` is processing this hiding
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` is pointing his laser pistol at the two groups, unsure as to which is the bigger threat.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` makes a decision.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` aims at ... KIRK! and fires.
<AlcarGM> (( roll d20 ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 20
<AlcarGM> Pur_NRG-1` - what are you doing?
* Pur_NRG-1` is calculating the number of people are left on each side
<AlcarGM> Ok, as Pur watches Mulaverti enters the frat, firing at the orange traitor. Kirk ducks, his shirt ripping and aims his experimental gun at the troubleshooters!
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` shoots at the gun!
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "For Friend Computer!"
<AlcarGM> There is a flash of orange light, a lot of smoke and the smell of burnt plastic... smoke obscures the trekkies.
<AlcarGM> (( roll :p ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 10
* Pur_NRG-1` aims at Kirk's head and fires
<Pur_NRG-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Pur_NRG-1` d20: 7
<AlcarGM> You hear a -- yelp? -- of pain from within the smoke.
<AlcarGM> The smoke clears and Kirk is holding a melting R&D gun, his expression horrified.. The Trekkies are, alas, gone, replaced by strange bots somehow...
<AlcarGM> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_changed.jpg
<AlcarGM> (( now 10 on Khan's side, 6 on Kirk's. ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << ...Am I even gonna ASK about that picture? >>
<AlcarGM> Khan spins around, seeing you, and says "Thank you! That commie was about to use a horrible weapon on us!"
<AlcarGM> (( tribbles :p ))
* Jenn-R-FER has joined #paranoia
<Pur_NRG-1`> "you are most welcome, for friend computer!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend Computer, To justify that shooting, the commie was not wearing his proper uniform and was shouting treasonous sayings!"
<AlcarGM> Jenn-R-FER finds herself in sector IAM via experimental teleportation by The Computer that she volunteetred fpor. outside te plain troubleshoter HQ she can hear combat in the hallway and the sounds of screaming and smells burnt plastic in the air
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O: "As an Orange level citizxen, I demand you detain Wrathof-KAN this moment!"
* Jenn-R-Fer is, a short blonde haired girl, with blazing blue eyes, a sharp little nose, and is currently running towards the combat!
<AlcarGM> The current setting is Kirk-O ,with 5 furry bots around him and a melted experimental weapon in his hand facing 10 infareds led by wrathof-KAN who are currently getting to the wall sand out of the way of the troubleshooters.
<Jenn-R-Fer> ( furry bots. we're doomed!)
<AlcarGM> Wrathof-KAN: "Lies! He lies! His .... " eyes the creatures .. "men were wearing treasonous red clothing!"
* Jenn-R-Fer looks around in confusion.
* Pur_NRG-1` shrugs
<AlcarGM> (( http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_changed.jpg is the bots/former trekkies; http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_kirk.jpg is kirk-O and http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_khan.jpg is wrathof-KAN ))
<AlcarGM> Kirk screams in rage and drops the experimental gun, drawing his own laser!
<Jenn-R-Fer> "Computer sweetie, what's going on here?"
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( cancel that, don't need more confusion :) ))
<AlcarGM> (( awww ;p ))
<AlcarGM> Kirk fires at the troubleshooters, aiming for Mulaverti :p
<AlcarGM> d20
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d20: 6
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << >>
<AlcarGM> A flash of orange light sears the air and Mulaverti staggers back wounded, his left arm smelling rather charred, but oddly more appealing food wise than the synthefood from the vats in the infared cafeteria....
* Pur_NRG-1` returns fire
<Pur_NRG-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Pur_NRG-1` d20: 11
<AlcarGM> Wrathof-KAN is edging back, trying to get the hell away and down the hallway
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << which arm do I shoot with? >>
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O evades Pur_NRG's trained shot with an almost uncanny skill
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( any arm you can))
<AlcarGM> (( whichever one wa shot? :p ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << bah. >>
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` tries to shoot Kirk
<AlcarGM> (( actually ,either ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d29
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d29: 22
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> er
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 14
<AlcarGM> what is Jenn doing?
<Pur_NRG-1`> "he's attacking us defend yourselves!"
* Jenn-R-Fer decides that pure and abject cowardice is the better part of valor and hides somewhere until she can get what's going on!
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O evades again, almost as if he knew the shot was coming!
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Which way did he evade? >>
<AlcarGM> KAN's infared followers drop their weapons and look scared, babbling about the motherland and begin to sing something aboutr a Unbreakable Union of freeborn Republics.
<AlcarGM> (( he's doging, left to rigth etc. ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << frick. >>
<AlcarGM> Unfortunately the hall is rather bare, due to The Computer's minamalistic interior design . .you coiuld go bakc into the Trouboeshooter HQ room., Jenn
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O fires at Pur_NRG-1`
<AlcarGM> d20
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d20: 4
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` fires at kirk again
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 8
<AlcarGM> Pur is hit in the arm, in the same place Mulaverti was as well.
<AlcarGM> Mulaverti fires heroically and Kirk staggers back, his shirt ripped to shreds and chest smoking.
* Jenn-R-Fer tries to think of where a terminal where she could call computer backup from would be located. If she can't think of anyplace, than she cautiously proceeds to the door to HQ.
<Jenn-R-Fer> (any place)
<AlcarGM> But before your very eyes he seems to acquire a faint corona of light and his chest is whole!
<Jenn-R-Fer> (then)
<AlcarGM> HQ has a terminal in it.
<AlcarGM> Wrathof-KAN runs away :p
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Does he have a mutant tag on? >>
<AlcarGM> (( no :p ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend computer! Kirk is an unregistered mutant commie!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> kirk-O
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> *
<AlcarGM> Kirk-0: "Lies! You're a poor shot, ensign!"
* Pur_NRG-1` fires back at Kirk
<Pur_NRG-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Pur_NRG-1` d20: 6
<AlcarGM> oh, wow.
* Jenn-R-Fer runs to the HQ cautiously. Then uses the Terminal to report general chaos and threats to the happiness and security of alpha complex.
<AlcarGM> Pur shoots kirk right in the head and Kirk staggers, his hair smoking, and is, once again, unharmed, as if you never shot him!
<Jenn-R-Fer> ((mentioning where they are of course! ^_^))
<AlcarGM> His hair is lying on the ground and burnt, however.
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( are you guys barbers or troubleshooters? ))
<Pur_NRG-1`> "Ack there was a hairy bot on the guys head!"
<The_Computer> (to jenn) "Please deal with the situation at your earliest convenience, troubleshooter. Be Happy, and remember: A dead commie a day keeps the Evil Empire away!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << damnit he needed a haircut, look at his picture! >>
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O screeches "MY HAIR?!" and shoots at Pur_NRG
<AlcarGM> d209
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d209: 159
<AlcarGM> d20
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d20: 3
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` fires at Kirk-O again
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 10
<AlcarGM> Oh, ow.
<Jenn-R-Fer> (to TC) "Alrighty hun! Will do!"
<AlcarGM> There is a flash of orange light and Pur_NRG goes to meet His Maker, leaving a pair of smoking boosts behind
* Jenn-R-Fer runs back out to the battle. "Umm... guys... now would be a great time to run!"
<The_Computer> (to jenn) "That's a dear."
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` looks around him.. specifically for any Alpha Complex Laser Turret Thingies.
* Jenn-R-Fer runs back out to the battle. "Maybe R&D will have something that can deal with them?"
<AlcarGM> Pur_NRG-2 finds himself sent via R&D telporter and appears right behind Kirk ... with one of the furry bots where his foot should have been.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << oh wait a sec, I am an R&D service group.. >>
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << in the ** >>
<AlcarGM> Kirk staggers as Mulaverti shoots him and remains shot, staggering "NO! KANNNN!"
<AlcarGM> d20
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d20: 10
* Jenn-R-Fer then takes her own advice and decides to go to R&D for broken things that will kill her... er valuable equipment!
<AlcarGM> He fires a shot at wrathof-KAN but Kan evades...
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` fires again
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 12
<AlcarGM> Kirk stumbles aside as Mulaverti-R-SIL sees Pur_NRG standing behind kirk with one of those bots as a .. foot? Behind him, you see another comie holding hs hand up strangely!
<AlcarGM> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_spock.jpg
<AlcarGM> Spock: "Captain!"
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` tries to shoot the hand!
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << hehe. DIE SPOCK. >>
<AlcarGM> Kirk: "Spock? The crew... they... they..."
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 12
<AlcarGM> (( blinks ))
<AlcarGM> There is a flash of light as the commie's hand disitingrates. He lets out a screa of pain and falls ot the ground.
<AlcarGM> Kirk screams and fires at Pur_NRG
<AlcarGM> d20
<The_Computer> AlcarGM d20: 20
* Pur_NRG-1` blinks
<AlcarGM> Unfortnuately, Kirk shot Spock as well.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Cyph, you're Pur_NRG-2 now :P >>
<Jenn-R-Fer> "Why *huff* is everything *puff* so far away.... screw this, I'm going back."
* Pur_NRG-1` is now known as Pur_NRG-2`
<AlcarGM> Scene: Jenn is running away - err, looking for reinforecements - Mulaverti is shooting Kirk, Pur_NRG is behind Kirk and Spokc is behind Pur_NRG
<AlcarGM> Pur_NRG also currently hasa tribble for a foot.
* Jenn-R-Fer runs back towards the death and destruction. For Darlin- er Friend Computer!
* Pur_NRG-2` kicks kirk in the groin
<AlcarGM> Wrathof-KAN watches Jenn run past, relieved.
<AlcarGM> Spock: "O captain, my captain..." he collapses against the wall
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( am i back at the battle? ))
* Pur_NRG-2` is kicking with the tribble for a foot
<Pur_NRG-2`> d20
<The_Computer> Pur_NRG-2` d20: 18
<AlcarGM> Pur_NRG;'s foot explodes in a flash of blue light with a wail of terror as he kicks Kirk, who makes a mewling noise himself.
<AlcarGM> Jenn - almost :)P
<AlcarGM> Mulaverti - what are you doing
<Pur_NRG-2`> "Whoa, thats a spicy furry bot!"
<Jenn-R-Fer> "*Huff* Gotta lay off *puff* those algae chips."
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> Can I shoot anyone?
<AlcarGM> YOu can shoot Kirk, Pur_NRG, the singing infareds or Spock, who looks about dead :p
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` shoots Kirk.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 15
* Jenn-R-Fer looks down at her midriff and smiles. Maybe just some endurence trainging would do.
<Jenn-R-Fer> (endurance, training)
<AlcarGM> TYhe infrareds sing: "We see the future of our dear land. / And to her fluttering scarlet banner, / Selflessly true we always shall stand! "
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( can someone send me a log of what the mission is? or give me a summary?))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << we're not sure. >>
<Pur_NRG-2`> ((we have no idea ourselves :P)
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << The computer got a 404 as it tried to tell us >>
<The_Computer> "Status report from Team OMGOD requested."
<AlcarGM> Kirk rolls out of the way, squishing one of the furry bots, which screams in pain "Dammit Jim, I'm a .. what am .. ahhh!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Commies almost completely eliminated for you, Friend computer!"
<AlcarGM> Spock collapses to the ground other hand raised and he and Kirk stare at each other.
<AlcarGM> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_pic.jpg
<AlcarGM> The siging infareds that were on KAN's side are fleeing down the tunnel, treasonous weapons discarded.\
<AlcarGM> What are the loyal troubleshooters doing now?
* Pur_NRG-2` blasts at the tribbles
<Pur_NRG-2`> d20
* Jenn-R-FER is staying at a nice neutral position, could join Kirk...
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` just standing there, laser pistol pointed in Jenn-R-FER / Kirk-O / Spock / Pur_NRG-2` 's general position.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> direction*
<Jenn-R-FER> "Cease Fire?" Jenn says tentatively
<Pur_NRG-2`> "explain"
<AlcarGM> One of the furry bots epxlode, leaving the remaining 3 to scurry into the ventilation system.
<AlcarGM> Spock dies.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` holsters his weapon and walks towards the others.
<AlcarGM> Kirk stands, shirt torn and bloodied, face a mask of rage and faces the troubleshooters .... then sees Jenn. "Oh, helllo! Are you busy this nightcycle?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( have i heard him called captain?))
<AlcarGM> (( by Spock, so far ))
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` looks at Kirk.
<AlcarGM> Spock is dead, 3 infareds dead, 2 tribbles crushed....
<Jenn-R-FER> "I believe so, Captain Kirk."
<Jenn-R-FER> "Our briefing was interupted..."
<Jenn-R-FER> "So I await your orders, Sir!"
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O: "Well, in that case.." he coughs, winces, recovers his burnt hair .... I think we're done, gentleclones?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( me blissfully ignores the other redshirts who are wounded/ressurected! ))
<The_Computer> "Citizens, report."
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << >>
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend Computer, This orange level citizen used an unregistered mutant power!"
<The_Computer> "Please submit proof."
<Jenn-R-FER> "It could be a device not a power..."
<AlcarGM> Kirk-O: "I do not! They shot SPock!"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "I thought you did"
<Jenn-R-FER> "Captain Kirk, please testify to my disinvolvement?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( is that a word? ))
<AlcarGM> Kirk: "It's a plot to frame me by Kan!"
<Jenn-R-FER> "Well, one of you could shoot him to check if he heals..."
<AlcarGM> Kirk looks alarmed. "No need ot do that! What if i don't?"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Then.. well.. You don't."
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` points his laser pistol at Kirk's head and fires.
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> d20
<The_Computer> Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` d20: 12
<Pur_NRG-2`> "either way, you fired in my direction without reason either shooting at me or at spock"
<AlcarGM> (( ROFL! ))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Mulaverti is now in save his own ass mode now. >>
<AlcarGM> Mulaverti fires and Kirk's head explodes in a shower of gore
<Jenn-R-FER> (( Can't we all just get along... ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> (I like pancakes)
<Jenn-R-FER> "Noooo! What have you done to Citizen Kirk!"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "I shot him. For being a commie."
<The_Computer> "Citizen Mulaverti-R-SIL, please report to a termination centre for destruction of valuable computer property, in trhe person of one Kirk-O. Thank you and have a delerious daycycle."
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend Computer, Please give me directions to the nearest centre!"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "Wait, didn't Kirk destroy computer property too by squashing that hair bot?"
<Jenn-R-FER> "True!"
<The_Computer> "Are you questioning me, citizen Pur_NRG?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "This is a test of your loyalty, citizen Pur_NRG. Please answer yes or no to the following. "Are you a commie?"
<Jenn-R-FER> "Computer sugar... want me to escort him to the nearest termination center?" (sweetly)
<Pur_NRG-2`> "asking for clarification"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Have you ever wanted to be a commie?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Do you always answer in negatives?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( there is so going to be a trick question. oh. screwed. ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> "clarification"
<The_Computer> "Citizen Jenn-R-FER, please escort citizens Pur_NRG and Mulaverti-R-SIL to the nearest termination chamber, 2 levels down. Thank you for serving The Computer."
<Jenn-R-FER> "Aww, Alright Mr. Computer! Right away!"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "I didn't understand that last questiion"
* Jenn-R-FER escorts the citizens to the Termination chamber.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` is escorted.
<Pur_NRG-2`> "thank you for escourting me here!"
<AlcarGM> Citixens Mulaverti-R-SIL-1 and Pur_NRG-2 are sent to a Better Place.
<Jenn-R-FER> "You are most welcome! I'll give Pur_NRG-3 your things!"
* Pur_NRG-2` drags Jenn-R-FER in
<AlcarGM> Their clones shot up besie Jenn-R-FER-1 shortly, luckily not teleported :p
<Jenn-R-FER> (( uh... i don't think you can drag me in...))
<AlcarGM> and - End Of Session -
<AlcarGM> :p
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` is now known as Mulaverti-R-SIL-2`
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-2`> << aww. >>
<Alcar> And for the curious (and damned) the following note delivered to Kirk is what caused the fight :p
<Alcar> http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/paranoia/s2_together.jpg
Session Close: Fri Oct 03 00:41:47 2003
