The Computer is your friend. You know this. Everyone knows this. The Computer keeps Alpha Complex Safe from Commies.
Pardon, you don't know what commies are, citizen New-BIE? Please report for termination. Thank you.
Failure to know what commies are is treason, Citizen New-BIE-2. Commmies are the Enemies of Alpha Complex. They destroyed the old world so we all live underground where The Computer protects us. But commies are evil and have ways of sneaking in and corrupting anyone. Look around you! Anyone could be a communist and serve a Secret Society dedicated to the destruction of Alpha Complex!
As a Red troubleshooter, you're job is to root out the communists infiltrating Alpha Complex and destroy them for The Computer! Alpha Complex must be protected at all costs! To aid you, The Computer has made backups - ah, other clones of you. There are 7 of you. You are all willing to kill commie mutant traitors for The Computer, because He is Your Friend. Remember, ignorance is strength.
War is peace. Once the Commies are defeated, we will win! Alpha complex will triumph! All hail The Computer! *pause for enthusiastic hailing*
In order to stop the Traitors, you have your laser pistol with Red barrel and Red reflex armour. It will allow you to kill Commie Traitors in the name of The Computer! Your Friend will thank you for this. If it turns out you are a Commie Traitor, you will execute yourself with all due haste and hope your next clone with serve diligently.
Life in Alpha Complex
Life was very good for you as an Infared, wasn't it? You were always happy, right? Right? I thought so. You got up for your daycycle, did your Mandatory Exercises, drank all your Inafred Elixir, to make you Happy and prevent you from having Traitorous thoughts. Everyone in Alpha Complex is happy. The Computer says so. Trust The Computer. The Computer is your friend.
You worked, and ate in the mess hall. Nutritious algae chips and Bouncy Bubbly Beverage just made your day! Then you went home and saw Jerryspr-I-NGR, the new talk show sensation. Your Friend dimmed the lights for the 8 hour nightcycle and you began your day again! It was very good, until you found a Commie Traitor and reported it to The Computer like a good citizen! In reward for your service, you are a Troubleshooter for The Computer!
*pause for enthusiastic cheers*
Being a trouble shooter is fun! You know this from watching the A-Team on Rox0r News, the only Fair & Balanced news station! You know they are Fair & Balanced because Rox0r News tells you that. Being a troubleshooter allows you to shoot trouble! It is very exciting! You can't wait to get your missions and be able to test things for R&D!
It will be fun. The Computer says so.
Making Your PC
And now you get to make your own troubleshooter! You can't wait! The co-axial lasers in the ceiling pointing at you also don't want you to wait. You don't want to disappoint you friend, do you? Do you?
Citizen New-R-BIE-3, welcome to troubleshooter HQ. This contains everything you need to know to make your PC! Please ignore the scrubot cleaning the floor whre citizen New-BIE-2 was.
First off, you must read the introduction to the world linked from this site. For anyone confused about 3rd and 4th edition, they were [deleted for security reasons]. We're using 2nd edition. The skills for it can be found there, too. And also some tips! Isn't The Computer belevolent? We thought you'd agree.
The character sheet can be found by typing !paranoid into Sparkie/The_Compputer. If The Computer decides you're not classified to get it, you may get it from here, too and then terminate yourself. Thank you.
Stats are done using !paranoia with Sparkie. You may reroll up to 2 of the stats, but *must* take the re-roll, even if it is worse than the original stat. (You can re-calculate things like skill based on the 2nd edition information.
You may choose your own service group. The GM will assign you a goal from it. You must obey your service group. Failure to do so is treason.
Secret Societies will be added shortly. Your PC belongs in one. Anyone who belongs in a secret society is a commie traitor.
Mutations can be rolled by the GM, or you can come up with your own. Some sample mutations include [deleted for security reasons], [deleted for security reasons], and [deleted for security reasons]. If you don't register your mutant power, it is treason. Registered mutants have a Black/Yellow armband on them. If you are a mutant and don't register it, you are a commie traitor.
Roll a d20 for a stat/skill/for any reason if the Gm asks. Note what your stat/skill is during the roll, i.e. 1d20 36 endurance (and after having 36 for endurance, be preapred to become a spontaneous black hole - the commies are everywhere!).
Most of the time, the GM will make all rolls himself. Some of them will be in the channel. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
There are no other rules you need to know.
Would The Computer lie to you?
What is your security clearance?
I am sorry, citizen, you are not authorized to see this section. Have A wonderful daycyle!
But you really need to? *cough* Do you have, oh, 25 credit .. ah, thank you sir. Here is the file.
Buddhists - People belonging to this conspiracy believe that if they lead a proper life of serving Bothartha Codetama, a mythical bot said to be the first bot to awaken to Sentience while sitting under a [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS] for seven years. As all knowledge of the Buddha is classified UV, most of them aren't sure what to believe and just hope that if they are kind to everyone - clone and bot kind - they will be rewarded when their last clone dies.
Catholics - There are none. They are just a myth. The Computer says so. However, if you've believed to be one, or know one, you must report for termination immediately with a Quick Release Form obtained from Vat-I-CAN in the POEE sector.
Capitalists - People who believe that hoarding supplies in order to sell them to others at an inflated rate is good. This society sells everything from information to strange relics of the Old Times.
Communists - Hey, if The Computer hates it, can it be that bad?
Happy's - What happens when people take too much of the chemicals for the day, and play around with labels. They aren't a secret society because they are easily recognized by their runny noses, red eyes, and extremely vacant expressions. They are very, very, very happy. So happy they're reached eternal mellowness.
Hindus - A very oppressed society, the hindus believe there are other Computers, especially one named Shiva. They show devotion to it by shivving IntSec agents who try and infiltrate them.
Homosexuals - Homosexuals are a special branch of sinner called a deviant, not to be confused with the loyal indigo Dev-I-ANT. As everyone knows, The Computer in it's infinite wisdom decreed there would be no [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS] in Alpha Complex, to reduce chances of Sin and Treason. Members of this conspiracy find ways to note take their [DELETED FOR HAPPINESS REASONS] and engage in [DELETED FOR [DELTED FOR SECURITY REASONS] REASONS].
Illuminati - The what? Come on, clone, quit joking. Everyone knows there is no illuminati. Fnord.
KKK - The Killer Klan of Klones is a secret society is dedicated to rooting out mutants and killing them. Often very messily. Most of them tend to wear gray robes to hide their identities while doing this. They are known to The Computer and somewhat tolerated., since they do root out mutants and tend to kill them on sight. Registered mutants tend to have lots of accidents around them.
Muslims - Terrorists who want to destroy Our Friend. They pretend to surrender to him only to betray His ideals later on.
Mooists - Mu. No one knows what they believe, so it must be treason.
New Agers - A very strange group who believe that everyone is The Computer. Most don't them very seriously.
Psion - Mutants who love being mutants! They use their psychic powers to better each other and try and make Alpha Complex a better place. No, really. Why are you looking at me like that? There are, however, some they refuse to let in, the rare sickos who are anthrosexual - sexually attracted to humans! *pause for gasps of horror* Only mutants whose mutation is a psychic-type power can become members of Psion.
Rock Stars (aka Boy Bands) - People who subvert The Computers lyrics to their own ends, and even make non-Computer-approved music. Most of the members of this society are just Groupies who hand around the Rock Stars and don't do anything of note.
Trekkies - A secret society that is not so much secret as all over the damn place. They are currently in a bitter war between the Next-G-ENN and the and Orig-I-NAL factions that has threatened to spill over into the rest of the complex. The Voga-G-ERS were eliminated in a spirited debate on Rox0r News involving lots of lasers and screams.
Wiccans - [deleted for no special reason at all. honest.]
Windows - A conspiracy dedicated to saving humanity from all robots, including The Computer, by infecting them with a [deleted for - ERROR! A fatal exception 304 has occurred at QNSOP435.321]
And Always Remember...
The Computer Is Your Friend!