The Dungeon Trap

This is a section of a Kevren session. The PC (Zacharel, played by Caltak) is an immortal in the game, so he returns from dying a certain number of times. He's just been imprisoned by the self-styled Emperor of the city of Gul for being with a bard who spoke treason. Oh, yes, and his sword is magical and intelligent.

<AlcarDM> You and the bard are led down the winding passages deep into the heart of the dungeons of Gul, from which no man escapes. Well, thats a lie but most of they escape by virtue of being dead.
<Zacharel> (( the bard was killed by a ninja :) ))
<Zacharel> (( while we were being questioned I believe. ))
<AlcarDM> The walls are lit by dim torches, specially made for dungeon atmopspheres. The bards ghost glares at you, then vanishes from the plot with a burping sound.
<Zacharel> (( lol ))
<AlcarDM> You pass the cells of prisioners being tortured, mutlitated, killed, made to scream loudly. At one, you hear a torturer saying "WHAT? This is ATMOSPHERE we're making here! Scream louder or I'll force feed you your pinky!"
<Zacharel> (( Pleasant :P ))
<AlcarDM> The guards look a trifle overwhelmed, but throw you into a cell with an old, bearded human in his last 80's at least. The lock the door, which is metal. They try and take your sword and after one of the guards finds himself experiencing a sudden case of death that inolves light and smoking boots where he was, they let you keep it.
<Zacharel> (( rofl ))
<Zacharel> (( anti-theft device :P ))
<AlcarDM> The old man is sitting by the far wall in chains. The walls and floor and some of the ceiling are covered in small marks, where he's marked off each day in capitivity like a traditonal prisioner should. They value tradition here, it seems. He looks up at you. "Who's there?!"
<Zacharel> "Um, greetings. Sorry if I startled you."
<AlcarDM> Old Man: "I wasn't expecting company, that's all. Are you my new room mate? My last one died of extended frusteration when I wouldn't let him use the phone lin - err, chamber pot for a week or two. I'm Joran, by and by. Welcome to my home. It's not too scenic, though."
<Zacharel> (( lol ))
<AlcarDM> Joran looks at you suspicously. "Is that a sword I see before me?"
<Zacharel> "I am Zacharel. Yes, it is indeed."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "At least it's not a dagger. Can't abide them after the whole woods chasing people things .... " he looks at you. "Are you my death?""
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Oh, wait, you're too stupid. My death would be much more handsome than you, I'd hope." He sniffs the air, smelling only himself. "And would bathe."
* Zacharel gives him an odd look for a moment. "No, I'm not here to kill you. I'm here against my will, as most in these situations are."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Oh, we're all here against our will. It's called life. And living. Of course, all we have to do is die, and we're free. I never understood why the torture us since death isa relief from living. Why are you looking like that? Are you confused? I know I was once. It's hard, being confused and a prisioner."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "But its harder than being confused and not a prisioner. Besides, it's nice here. We get regular meals, they clean the blood up and the rats are good conversationalists. Do you like to talk to people? I do, but most people never talk to me much."
<Zacharel> "I... can't imagine why."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "I find that good listeners are more rare that good talkers, don't you? Thats why I like to listen to people. But I find I do my best listening when talking, which is rather funny."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "So, how do you want to die?"
<Zacharel> "Well I haven't thought about that much, actually."
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Oh, it can be quite fun. The long, drawn out deaths are much more interesting. Do you know there is an actualll limit to how high someone can scream when they have their testicles ripped off by rats compared to a hot poker shoved in variouis other orifices. It's really quite facinating. ((The NPC continues, but the DM won't. The NPC also includes hand gestures)) "Then there is water torture.
<AlcarDM> Just a drip of water slowly falling and fallind and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling.."
* Zacharel suddenly and without warning draws his sword and attacks the cell door :P
<Zacharel> 1d20+13
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+13: 14
<Zacharel> (( oh, figures ))
<AlcarDM> Joran: "There is also dismemberment, or defenstration or the more subtle art of inner madness developed..." He ignores the door behing pounded as if it was of no consenquence. "It makes you wonder if you are mad if you think you are mad or the only mad people are the ones convinced they're sane? They like to make us go mad. It adds to the entertainment I think."
<Zacharel> (( i critically fail at hitting a door :P ))
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Could you stop that? I'm trying to listen here!"
<AlcarDM> « ok ... :p »
<Zacharel> (( you knows its Sparkie when you critically fail hitting a door rofl ))
<AlcarDM> The door makes a thud as it is struck. You notice the door has lots of marks on it from this side
* Zacharel hits it again :P
<Zacharel> 1d20+13
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+13: 22
<AlcarDM> The door groans piteously.
<AlcarDM> Joran: "You could stop that you know. It didn't help the last guy. They killed him with ants and honey and some chipmunks. I think the chipmunks were overkill, but I didn't tell them that. Theordore gets mad when I insult them. Death by rat is fun too. If you choke on a big one you can take days to die!"
<Zacharel> (( you want damage or should I just keep hacking at it? :P ))
<AlcarDM> Voice on the other side of the door: "Yuh?"
<AlcarDM> « dont bother. They make doors strong in these here parts »
* Zacharel looks at his sword. "D'you think you could do me a favor and get us out of here?"
<AlcarDM> Joran: "It's quite facinating. They really do try and make torture a full sensory immersive experience. Very good at occupying all 5 senses, when you still *have* all 5 of them. its hard to feel things with no fingers, but I'm told some people do feel limbs after they leave. It'd be like having your own ghost, I guest. The secret exist at the back of the room is even mre fun .."
<AlcarDM> Guard: "Hur. Hur. Hur."
* Zacharel looks at Joran. "Wait, what was that last thing?"
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Which thing? I say many things, some of which I say. But I don't mean what I say and I seldom say what I mean. I think its part of being human, since we invented language to lie to each other without having to smell it."
<Zacharel> "You said something about secret exits?"
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Did you know that you can speak after someone cuts your tongue out? It's harder when they remove it with a hot poker, but i had one room mate who could grunt with the best of them. He even put the guards to shame. Oh, that. Yes, its right there." he points to part of the wall, vaguely
* Zacharel sheiths his suddenly untalkative sword (I guess Joran talks enough for everyone) and searches the wall
<Zacharel> 1d20+2 Search :P
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+2: 18 Search :P
<AlcarDM> Zacharel finds the catch for the secret tunnel easily. Its a small staircase, clean and free of any strange smells or odours, leading up.
* Zacharel looks back at Joran and says, quickly: "Well it's really been a pleasure talking to you but I really must be going." and dashes up the stairs
<AlcarDM> Oh, spot check. And search check
<Zacharel> 1d20+7 spot
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+7: 22 spot
<Zacharel> 1d20+2 search
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+2: 14 search
<AlcarDM> reflex save
<Zacharel> 1d20+5 reflex
<Sparkie> Zacharel 1d20+5: 8 reflex
<Zacharel> (( *sigh* ))
<AlcarDM> You see the odd traces of blood on the ceiling, and you get a bad feeling in time for the ceiling to make a rmbling noise and squish you flatter than a pancake. Needless to say, you die. Horribly. You do wake up, however, in a smalll, dark bag they shoved your remains into :)
* Keith` chuckles
* Zacharel trys to free himself froms said bag
<AlcarDM> You're on a landing surrounded by bags of dead bodies and the smell of blood ni the air. No light, but you can feel a wall behind your back and smell fresh air from the south
<AlcarDM> You get out easily, the jail keepers never thinking someone would come back from being turned into abstract art
<Zacharel> "Ow..." *checks to see if he still has his things (which are just the ring, clothes, armor, and sword anyway)
<AlcarDM> You find them in a pile in the corner, after digging around in the dark for about 10 minutes. The armour is missing but there is a pile of ash around the sword :)
<AlcarDM> the clothing is missing as well, since it was squished along with your body. The ring is ok, tho
<Zacharel> (( damn! they got my Mithral Shirt +1!! :P ))
<Zacharel> (( wait... if the clothing is missing, then... hmm... ))
<AlcarDM> You can vaguely hear voices from the south,. but below you. It sounds like guards.
<AlcarDM> « You're now a naked fellow with a ring and sword. »
<Zacharel> (( oh super. ))
<AlcarDM> Guard voice: "Ah, there we go. Reset the bugger." Joran's Voice: "I DO get the promotion, right? I mean, I got that one to go right into the trap in less than an hour." Guard: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll make more this week." Joran: "Good."
<AlcarDM> Guard: "I have to admit, you're an awesome form of torture for those poor fellows..."
* Zacharel literally hits himself in the forehead
<AlcarDM> Joran: "Well, it pays the bills."
<AlcarDM> « the DM laughs evilly somewhere far away :) »

The introduction #game1 info odds 'n' Ends Contact Alcar here