Collected madness from Paranoia Sessions.

Session 1: A Demon Stration of Paranoia

<Alcar> ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Melee weapons should be laser weapons on the sheet. The Computer didn't make an error. To suggest that is treason. Please report to the nearest termination centre.
<Alcar> under the dex skills :)
<Chaos`^> It is the result of Commie spies trying to corrode the computer's perfect image!
<The_Computer> "How do you know what a Communist is?" *shoots Chaos*
<Tass> so wait
<Tass> knowing what a commie is....
<Tass> is a punishable offense?
<Alcar> lol. nah.
<Tass> so how are you supposed to root them out? :P
* Alcar was messing with you ;p

<AlcarGM> Christis-B-ORN parts the water, which rages through the gaping hole and down into the elevator shaft.
<AlcarGM> (( definitely :p ))
<AlcarGM> What are you doing?
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( is he registered? ))
<AlcarGM> (( nope, all registered mutant have a yellow/black armband ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( lol, this game is evil! ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( what sort of chances would a red d00d have against a blue d00d in combat? ))
<AlcarGM> (( You're asking if defeating a tainted mutie wouldn't be worth dying for?! ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( He'll be back as Christis-R-ISN anyway ))
* Rocky-R-OAD pulls out his laser and starts shooting
<Rocky-R-OAD> "DIE MUTANT SCUM! IN THE NAME OF THE COMPUTER!"
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( good point :P ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( forgot this wasn't amber for a sec :P ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( was like: How can I use this to my advantage... ))

<Rocky-R-OAD> "Computer, where is briefing room 007?"
<The_Computer> "You are not authorized for that information. According to Chocolat-B-ARR, you are not there. Please explain, in 30 words or less, why you think you are."
<AlcarGM> A laser in the ceiling swivels towards Rocky-R-OAD-2.
<Rocky-R-OAD> "I am here because I am trying to fulfill the orders of my friend the Computer!"
<The_Computer> "You are not in briefing room 007, my friend. Let he who is without sin fire the first laser."
<Rocky-R-OAD> "Where must I go to reach this room, oh Computer?"
<The_Computer> "SA:LE IN MACYS! REPEAT, SALE IN MACYS! 20% OFF ALL MENS LINGERIE! ALL TROUBLESHOOTERS REPORT TO SECTOR SXY TO BE OUTFITTED!"

<Alcar> <Rocky-R-OAD> (( He'll be back as Christis-R-ISN anyway ))
<Alcar> was just good :)
<Alcar> and am tempted to do it ;p
<Alcar> instead of clones, the pc heals from death!
<Alcar> and everyone shoots him as a mutant when he gets back up :p
<Alcar> Golg-O-THA kills the mutant again! :p
<_____> lol
<_____> I can see it
<_____> Christis-B-ORN
<_____> Christis-R-ISN
<_____> Christwillcomea-G-AIN

Session 2: In Media Res

<AlcarGM> You're both relaxing in Troubleshooter HQ in IAM sector, passing the time by playing Commie: The Hunting, a card game involving batteries, various sectors (white, red, blue, and black being the most common) and tapping the table to indicate when your turn is up
<AlcarGM> If you split too many knuckles on the syntheplastic you're tapped out. Just as the game is getting interesting as loud wailing klaxon fills the air:
<AlcarGM> "Ring! Ring! Ring! I'm sorry, no one is available to take your call at the moment. Please hang uo, and try your call again. This has been a recording." followed by a very loud *BEEEP*

<Jenn-R-Fer> "Computer sweetie, what's going on here?"
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( cancel that, don't need more confusion :) ))

<AlcarGM> There is a flash of orange light and Pur_NRG goes to meet His Maker, leaving a pair of smoking boosts behind
* Jenn-R-Fer runs back out to the battle. "Umm... guys... now would be a great time to run!"

<Jenn-R-Fer> (( can someone send me a log of what the mission is? or give me a summary?))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << we're not sure. >>
<Pur_NRG-2`> ((we have no idea ourselves :P)
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << The computer got a 404 as it tried to tell us >>

* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` just standing there, laser pistol pointed in Jenn-R-FER / Kirk-O / Spock / Pur_NRG-2` 's general direction.
<Jenn-R-FER> "Cease Fire?" Jenn says tentatively
<AlcarGM> One of the furry bots epxlode, leaving the remaining 3 to scurry into the ventilation system.
<AlcarGM> Spock dies.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` holsters his weapon and walks towards the others.
<AlcarGM> Kirk stands, shirt torn and bloodied, face a mask of rage and faces the troubleshooters .... then sees Jenn. "Oh, helllo! Are you busy this nightcycle?"

<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend Computer, This orange level citizen used an unregistered mutant power!"
<The_Computer> "Please submit proof."
<AlcarGM> Kirk: "It's a plot to frame me by Kan!"
<Jenn-R-FER> "Well, one of you could shoot him to check if he heals..."
<AlcarGM> Kirk looks alarmed. "No need ot do that! What if i don't?"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Then.. well.. You don't."
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` points his laser pistol at Kirk's head and fires.
<Pur_NRG-2`> "either way, you fired in my direction without reason either shooting at me or at spock"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Mulaverti is now in save his own ass mode now. >>
<AlcarGM> Mulaverti fires and Kirk's head explodes in a shower of gore
<Jenn-R-FER> (( Can't we all just get along... ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> (I like pancakes)
<The_Computer> "Citizen Mulaverti-R-SIL, please report to a termination centre for destruction of valuable computer property, in trhe person of one Kirk-O. Thank you and have a delerious daycycle."

<Pur_NRG-2`> "Wait, didn't Kirk destroy computer property too by squashing that hair bot?"
<The_Computer> "Are you questioning me, citizen Pur_NRG?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "This is a test of your loyalty, citizen Pur_NRG. Please answer yes or no to the following. "Are you a commie?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "asking for clarification"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Have you ever wanted to be a commie?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Do you always answer in negatives?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( there is so going to be a trick question. oh. screwed. ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> "clarification"
<The_Computer> "Citizen Jenn-R-FER, please escort citizens Pur_NRG and Mulaverti-R-SIL to the nearest termination chamber, 2 levels down. Thank you for serving The Computer."

Session 3: