Unknown Armies Effects

Added 312 lines (April 29th, 2005).
Some additions I did not list. Also deletions.
Added 291 lines (May 27, 2007).
Added 59 lines (April 12.2008).
  1. All the tatoos on your body come to life and leave you.
  2. The next object you touch crawls onto your skin and becomes a tattoo.
  3. You wake up knowing the serial numbers of all fire hydrants in a 10 city radius., convinced this knowledge is profoundly important.
  4. The nearest land-line telephone rings until you answer it. When you do, a voice whispers "[1d10] days." No telephone will work for you for that period.
  5. Your cellphone ring tone changes every time you answer you, and each time the music foreshadows the future.
  6. Your bedroom closet is now a portal to a dark dimension populated by strange creatures.
  7. Ever since the day you were told you weren't reeally colourblind, you've been seeing giant purple snorklewackers everywhere.
  8. You hear eerie but beautiful singing coming from the nearest heater vent.
  9. The next person you have sexual intercourse with shall die of a heart attack at the moment of climax.
  10. The next time you turn on a television or radio news program, you will be informed that Dewey has defeated Truman in the presidential election.
  11. Every liquid you drink for the next week tastes exactly like human blood.
  12. You have the video of Her on DVD, only the DVD claims to be be a BETA tape and refuses to play.
  13. Every time you wake up, strange, instricate designs will be drawn on the ceiling above. These designs cannot be removed by conventional means, and grow more intricate every time.
  14. All cathode ray tubes (TVs, computer monitors) within a one-mile radius suddenly explode.
  15. All the tupperware in your home is filled with sourveniers from serial killering sprees you don't recall.
  16. All camcorders withing a 5 mile radius currently recording anything instead have recorded you and your current actions.
  17. You no longer appear in photographs.
  18. Every photo of you has you hugging a stranger in it, only you've never met them before. But you keep seeing their pictures in the paper the next day, and they're all missing.
  19. From now on, your reflection makes faces and gestures at you when you're not looking directly at it.
  20. Any vehicle you drive or pilot will run out of fuel at the most inconvenient moment possible.
  21. From now on, you talk in your sleep, in strange demonic voices.
  22. Your car doesn't need gas anymore. You don't know why, but you are no longer able to cry. Maybe it's worth it.
  23. All nearby vehicles or heavy machinery are replaced with livestock which performs a similar function.
  24. All horses and livestock fly into an unnatural terror at your presence.
  25. Your shoes are full of tapioca pudding. This includes all footwear you own that you are not currently wearing, as well.
  26. Every key you have ever lost of misplaced is now in your pockets.
  27. You wake up with your head sitting next to you on your bed, and when you look into the mirror you see the head of John the Baptist. And you begin speaking terible things.
  28. From now on, everyone who is trying to reach the local pizzeria will dial your phone's number by mistake.
  29. The ghost of a fast-food worker will haunt your steps, and ask in an eerie voice "Would you like fries with that?" whenever someone asks for something.
  30. All the spam e-mail you answer becomes true. Just reply, and you get 6 inches, and your mortage paid off, and a new computer and then a new set of breasts, and then ....
  31. All your CDs, DVDs, VHS, and other recordable media have been recorded over with "The Song That Never Ends" from "Lambchop's PlayAlong."
  32. Your pet goldfish raped you every day when you were six. It's the real reason you wet the bed.
  33. Every time someone is trying to reach you by telephone, that phone's ringtone is "Banana Phone" by Raffi. This applies to all phones of every kind.
  34. You are haunted by a ghost of the opposite sex who continually whispers erotic suggestions in your ear.
  35. You pets now possess the ability to speak to you, but they never tell you anything useful, and they never do this when it might prove to anyone else that they can.
  36. Every time someone dies within 10 miles of you, you sense a disturbance in the Force.
  37. Every night your dog eats you. Every day you are reborn from her shit. You're terrified that Fifi will become constipated.
  38. The next time it rains at this location, it shall rain chocolate chip cookies.
  39. Your body collapses into a coma, while your mind possesses the body of the nearest cat for the next three hours. Afterwards, you will experience a slight tendency to lick yourself.
  40. The ground withing 10 feet of this spot is now the consistancy of quicksand.
  41. Tentacles spring from the nearest wall and attempt to physically violate the first living thing they touch. They will vanish in 20 minutes.
  42. Your dead girlfriend calls you on the phone every night to ask about the baby who died during her OD.
  43. From now on, the person your closest friend or romantic interest will appear to you to be an angel.
  44. From now on, the person your closest friend or romantic interest will appear to you to be a demon.
  45. From now on, the person your closest friend or romantic interest will appear to you to be you to everyone else except you.
  46. You feel completely certain that clouds are plotting against mankind and may attack at any moment.
  47. You begin to suffer from OCD. You continually feel the need to wash, and can only pass through doorways with great difficulty.
  48. You feel compelled to use the phrase "knock on wood" after mentioning some unfortunate event that may happen. If you don't immediately then knock on real, natural wood, said unfortunate event shall occur.
  49. You suffer from the delusion that if you take a bath or shower, you will be turned into a newt.
  50. Your hair is on fire. It hurts, but it won't kill you. Water won't put it out. Worst of all, no one notices.
  51. From now on, you will appear to as your closest friend or romantic interest, to everyone else but you and him/her.
  52. You lose the ability to write vowels.
  53. You've grown a second mouth, and it keeps talking to you, saying it loves you, saying no one else understands, saying that you have to feed it kittens. The SPCA is closing in on you, but it keeps getting hungrier, and growls when you pass the maternity ward.
  54. A demented Napoleon travels through a hole in time, and attempts to wage war upon your living room.
  55. The next person you look at grows demonic horns, a tail, and cloven hooves. No notices but you.
  56. When you walk on carpetting, it feels like you're walking on broken glass. It even cuts your feet for real.
  57. Every fat person you meet is an image of buddha for the next week.
  58. The next object of fast food you eat will have a used condom in it.
  59. Your eyes spontaneously change color- to two different colors.
  60. The next object of fast food you eat will have an unusual condom in it.
  61. You now have x-ray vision. With real x-rays. You see bones and such... and can sometimes give people cancer.
  62. The next time you eat meat, you will be attacked by an animal of the species that the meat came from within the next hour.
  63. For the next 24 hours, you have an out-of-body experience. You can still control your body as normal, but view everything from a 3rd person perspective.
  64. You develop the ability to walk up walls and along ceilings. You can't stand still, however, or you'll fall.
  65. The vegetables scream every time someone chops them. And no one else seems to hear it. No one else seems to care. You can hear the lettuce weeping in your refrigerator as it slowly wilts away, screaming about lepropsy, and being a pariah....
  66. For the next 2 hours, you fall Up.
  67. You no longer parse the number 3, or believe it exists.
  68. From now on, you believe that the number 4 is actually spelled and pronounced "foo". You feel obliged to correct people when they get it wrong.
  69. Every time you step on an insect, a bit of your soul withers and dies.
  70. The next time you open your refridgerator, it will be occupied by Zuul and its 2 demonic dog minions. (See Ghostbusters)
  71. You somehow gain 360-degree vision, without growing any eyes or anything like that.
  72. Hoffa's corpse is buried in the foundation of your home. You know this becaue he tells you every night, and promises to tell you where the money is, if you'll just give him the keys to your soul.
  73. From now on, the moment you touch any computer running a Microsoft operating system, it will get the Blue Screen of Death.
  74. Your hair grows three feet and attempts to strangle you.
  75. Your left foot is now made of solid marble.
  76. Every time you blow a bubble with chewing gum, something terrible happens to someone you've never met, and they know it's all your fault.
  77. You suddenly receive a premonition showing how a large group of people is about to die. You have time to avert this disaster. If you do, each of those people will go on to die horrendous deaths in the exact order they would have died until none are left.
  78. Whenever you go to sleep at night, your hair grows until it's falling out of the nearest window, and some crazy-looking freak who claims to be a Prince will try to climb it. If he succeeds in entering the room, he will demand that you marry him.
  79. You keep seeing things that aren't there. You know they aren't there, but you keep seeing them anyway. And they won't stop smiling.
  80. Your mother suddenly shrinks to six inches in height and grows gossamer fairy-wings.
  81. All of your teeth are now gold. Crazy grissled prospectors show up at regular intervals wanting to mine your jaw.
  82. If you don't cover your mouth when you sneeze, your soul really DOES leave your body and looks just like a tink fairy.
  83. You can now fire six-shooters with deadly accuracy. However, no other type of firearm will function for you at all.
  84. The neighborhood experiences a mushroom craze. Everyone but you seems to be in on it. Whenever anyone eats these mushrooms, weird things happen, but they don't seem to notice.
  85. Whenever someone yells to "Duck!", an actual duck will fly overhead, quacking obnoxiously.
  86. All boxer shorts you own are now briefs, or vice-versa.
  87. All men's underwear you own are now women's underwrae, and vice-versa.
  88. You show up at work in ladies undergarments. And no one bats an eye.
  89. All of your left socks are missing. If you try to use a right sock on your left foot, you feel off-balance.
  90. Your socks have all been darned with human flesh. It feels rather warm.
  91. You now own a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers. If you dispose of them, they come back the next day. They appear wherever you go to sleep, no matter how far away you travel. Sometimes, they hop around on their own.
  92. All the excess fat on your body turns to cherry-flavored Jell-O and falls to the ground.
  93. No one believes that the bunny slippers ate your wife, no matter how tight your alibi was.
  94. Anyone who kisses or otherwise puts their mouth to you will find that you are irresistably delicious.
  95. Anyone who kisses or otherwise puts their mouth to you will become drunk.
  96. You are compelled to become a gameshow host.
  97. Your blood becomes strawberry syrup as soon as it leaves your body.
  98. Your blood becomes ketchup as soon as it leaves your body.
  99. For the next week, whenever you say something nice about someone else, a gold coin will fall from your mouth.
  100. Every time you kill a man, every clock in the city stops. Every time you kill a woman, every statue in the city weeps angel snot. You've never killled a child. You're too terrified to.
  101. For the next week, whenever you say something mean about someone else, a big ugly frog will jump from your mouth. It tastes terrible.
  102. Any time someone you know is speaking about you while not in your presence, you will sneeze. If it is something negative, you sneeze twice.
  103. You wallet is gone.
  104. Your wallet has been replaced with that of Elvis.
  105. All forms of ID you possess now have a picture of someone who looks nothing like you, but no one else notices a difference when they compare you to it.
  106. Every time you tell a lie the thing you fear grows stronger.
  107. You will be killed within the next twenty-four hours, only to wake up in a dumpster across town as a person of the opposite sex with no clothes or ID.
  108. You find you have an extra set of nipples whenever everyone smiles at you.
  109. The walls of your home bleed human blood, but only at night when you're alone. The blood goes away at dawn or when another person enters.
  110. All the furniture in your bedroom is now replaced by medieval torture equipment.
  111. You grow an extra breast. It gives chocolate milk.
  112. They are out to get you. If only they knew who they are. Maybe then it would all make sense. Maybe then you'd stop having to tell them, and kill them so they never tell the others.
  113. A small fruit tree grows from your head. The fruit it produces grants good health to the eater. The fruit is poisonout to you. If you remove the tree, it dies, and you cut 10 years off your life.
  114. The person you're sitting next to becomes your Siamese twin, attached at the side.
  115. You suddenly shrink to four feet high.
  116. Your siamese twin becomes an angel. But you still want to be apart.
  117. You discover that a twin brother you never knew existed is living inside your abdomen. And he isn't happy with you.
  118. You become pregnant.
  119. You discover that the tumour the doctors removed from your head when you were a baby was the real you. YOU are the tumour.
  120. You begin to age in reverse. When you become a newborn, you must enter the womb of a woman to survive. If you do, you are reborn in 9 months and age normally again.
  121. Your closest friend or romantic interest spontaneously becomes pregnant.
  122. You are addicted to saltine crackers. You will go through severe withdrawl if you don't eat them regularly.
  123. You only age when you have sex, but you age a decade every time.
  124. Your car is now alive, and in love with you. It wants to have your children.
  125. You have forgotten a word everyone else knows. They keep saying it, and you can't hear them. You think it's "fnord"
  126. Your ears become pointy like elves'. You feel the need to point this out to everyone obnoxiously, and quote from _The Lord of the Rings_ at least once every hour.
  127. You see strange, scary faces when you look into the dark.
  128. Your closest friend or romantic interest grows a third eye in the middle of his or her forehead. She can't see through it... but you can.
  129. Your shadow now possesses a life of its own, and wants to escape you. When it's not connected to you, you can't seem to do anything right.
  130. You are visited by a small, cute little lop-eared rabbit with a switchblade. He beats you up and takes all your money.
  131. You discover that the person you're having a cyberaffair with is your wife. Only you've never been married.
  132. From now on, you always want waffles for breakfast. If you don't eat waffles on a particular morning, you become extremely ill for the rest of the day.
  133. You discover you have somehow married yourself accidentally.
  134. You suitcase, backpack, or whatever now functions like a Bag of Devouring (from D&D).
  135. You wake up every morning to discover a corpse outside your window.
  136. Your dresser is filled with dead squirrels every day.
  137. Everything you touch that is made of gold or precious metals turns to chocolate.
  138. You medicine cabinet is filled with the bones of murdered saints.
  139. You go almost completely blind, unless you are looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses.
  140. Every time you stay in a hotel or other such accomodations, all the little soaps and such are missing, and any mini-bar is completely empty. Room service never shows up.
  141. You know where everyone else was and what they were thinking the day JFK died.
  142. You know where everyone else was and what they were thinking the day bambi died.
  143. You shot JFK.
  144. All the doors open outwards, even if they're not designed to open that way.
  145. JFK shot you.
  146. The nearest bush bursts into flame. Lighting will strike a rock nearby. Upon it will be written instructions you must follow in order to attain salvation. But they're written in a language no one currently alive has ever seen.
  147. You are convinced JFK rose from the dead and ascended to heaven, and that McCarthy was His son, the antichrist.
  148. You grow an extra belly-button.
  149. Your hair turns completely white.
  150. You are certain that you killed Santa Claus when you were five years old with poisoned brandy.
  151. You grow a pre-hensile tail which you have full control of... usually. It has a nasty habit of feeling people up inappropriately when you aren't paying attention.
  152. You are convinced you aren't really you, but someone else with the same name.
  153. Your hair turns white in a little streak on the front. Everyone thinks you're trying to look like Rogue from the X-Men, and consider it lame.
  154. You now possess the ability to walk on water. You can't turn it off, however, and falling onto water is like falling onto concrete.
  155. Your skin turned into a record of the real Fatima Miracle whenever you take a cold shower.
  156. You are convinced that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend switched bodies months ago, and have been stuck that way ever since.
  157. Your feet become cloven hooves.
  158. You are convinced that you are really a demon inside your own body.
  159. You feel astoundingly inadequate, and greatly desire to be turned into another person, prefrably of the other sex, or even another species.
  160. you now fart helum
  161. Every time your anorexic girlfriend throws up, you gain five pounds.
  162. Whenever someone gazes into your nipples, they can see the future.
  163. Your eyeballs are now invisible.
  164. Whenever you kiss someone, gravity loses its effect on the two of you for the next ten minutes.
  165. You can only speak an obscure african dialect no one has spoken in 10,000 years. Everyone thinks you sound like a drunk.
  166. Your emotions are now shown through cliche anime expressions you can't control.
  167. All windows nearby slam in unison. Closed windows quickly open beforehand.
  168. The last time anyone said they loved you, they mailed you their heart the next day. It was still beating.
  169. All doors nearby slam in unison. Closed doors quickly open beforehand.
  170. All drawers nearby slam shut in unison. Closed drawers quickly open beforehand.
  171. All clothing buttons snap open in unison. All zippers weld themselves shut.
  172. All nearby silverware flies through the air, pinning your clothes against the wall but leaving you unharmed.
  173. There Something living in your attic. You feel sure that if you go up there, it will kill you. It makes noises every night that keep you awake, and sometimes you're sure it's watching you through the air vents.
  174. You hear dramatic pipe-organ music.
  175. The contents of your grandmothers china cabinet being speaking in Mandarin.
  176. All airplanes you ride on will have an extended layover in Timbuktu.
  177. At the next toast you make, all the wine turns into blood.
  178. All shoes in the room spontaneously tie their shoelaces together.
  179. All shoelaces in the vicinity turn to licorice.
  180. All rubber tires in the vicinty turn into giant glazed donuts.
  181. Your hair turns to licorice. It's the black kind, though, and tastes terrible.
  182. You forget the one thing in the world that matters to you.
  183. The next police officer you speak to will transform into a wild boar, which will attack you viciously.
  184. You turn into a pillar of salt.
  185. You turn into a pillar of pepper
  186. All lighters you touch squirt water instead.
  187. Every house you ring the doorbell of lights on fire 30 seconds later. The cause varies each time, but they all burn to the ground and kill everyone inside.
  188. Whenever you are in the same room as the 6th grade girl from next door, you turn into a small, hyper, and excessively cute fluffy dog.
  189. A small cult from Tunisia places a price on your head of 100 kilograms of gold.
  190. You urinate smoke for the next 48 hours.
  191. Your coffeemaker begins to spout haiku
  192. All the electronics in the building emit smoke and cease to function. The smoke smells like expensive incense, however.
  193. Girl Scouts refuse to stop coming to your home to try to sell you cookies. You can never escape them. The cookies, if purchased, are poisoned.
  194. You begin to urinate shredded White House documents for the next 10 hours, and the page they form tells you who really killed you tomorrow.
  195. Girl Scouts refuse to stop coming to your home to try to sell you cookies. You can never escape them. The cookies, if purchased, are made of actual Girl Scouts.
  196. Whenever you eat a Girl Scout cookie, you turn into a Girl Scout for the next three hours.
  197. You lay a Golden Egg.
  198. Every time you sleep on a bed you waken with your mouth full of peas.
  199. You lay an egg. It hatches into a chick.
  200. You find yourself stalking a girl in a red hoodie as she delivers a cooler to her grandmother. You, in turn, are being stalked by a lumberjack with a chainsaw.
  201. Whenever you sneeze, someone else in the room lays an egg.
  202. Every time you die you return to possess you next of kin.
  203. Every time you or someone near you attempts to do something with a risk of failure, you distinctly hear the sound of dice being rolled.
  204. The next time you sleep, you will dream of dancing sugarplums.
  205. The next time you sleep, sugarplums will dance in your head, and leave a sticky-sweet residue when they leave in the morning.
  206. The time time you sleep you have nighrmares about Happy Meals.
  207. The next time you wish upon a star, a talking cricket will appear and begin to sing. If you harm it, an animated marionette will stalk you for the rest of you life and try to murder you.
  208. Every time you wet the bed, it rains.
  209. All people of the osame sex that you see appear naked to you.
  210. Everyone you love turns out to be a sexless doll.
  211. You spontaneously switch clothes with the nearest person of the opposite sex.
  212. You reflection appears naked, even to others.
  213. You wake up in the morning to discover that you have been turned into a sexless doll.
  214. You fall into mirrors and get trapped behind them at least once a year. The bad luck when you breake them to escape gets worse each time.
  215. You wake up in the morning to discover that you are now a hermaphrodite.
  216. You wake up in the morning to discover that you are now a gay hermaphrodite.
  217. You grow angelic wings, but they are nowhere near strong enough to allow you to fly.
  218. You grow gossamer wings, but they are shredded with the slightest breeze.
  219. You grow large bat wings, but they are nowhere near strong enough to allow you to fly.
  220. You grow beautiful wings that allow you to fly, but without tail feathers you keep crashing.
  221. The next time you view a post card, you are instantaneously transported to that location.
  222. You get post cards sent to you from Hell, signed by yourself. They keep saying "Wish you were here".
  223. You grow bug-antennae. They're kind of fuzzy.
  224. No one recognizes or remembers you. All records of you ever existing are erased. After a week, someone recognizes you. They look exactly like you, and everyone now believes they are who you were.
  225. The next drawer you open contains secret government files containing exactly the sort of information they don't want you to know. If you look at them, they will find out.
  226. You will find the Arc of the Convenant under your bed tonight.
  227. You will find the Arc of the Convenant under your bed tonight. So will the Nazis.
  228. You hear a voice telling you that it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights next week, and that you should probably build a large boat. The weather is clear until seven days later, when it will rain... for 2 days. And then stop.
  229. You car now runs on human blood. It even says so where it normally says "Unleaded Only" and the fuel gauge has a red cross symbol. On the bright side, it gets good mileage.
  230. Every time you drink milk, you change a little bit more into a cow.
  231. You will wake up tomarrow to find that hundreds of cockroaches now live inside your body. They pose no threat to you, and in fact keep your body running well and help you heal faster. However, they always enter and leave as they please.
  232. A large colony of rat-sized ants now lives beneath your home and believe you to be their Queen.
  233. A small, strange little man will show up at your house and demand your firstborn daughter.
  234. Dogs are now sexually attracted to you.
  235. You are now sexually attracted to dogs.
  236. You are now sexually attracted to weasels.
  237. Cats are now sexually attracted to you.
  238. You are now sexually attracted to cats.
  239. A mother bear adopts you as her cub. Or else.
  240. Whenever you have sex, your partner is absorbed into your body, and you feel stronger, and more healthy. Their consciousness now lives inside your head with you, though.
  241. Next time you are out in the woods you will be shot and wounded, but not seriously harmed, by the vice-president, who is hunting quail.
  242. Your face keeps falling off. It's as if it didn't fit anymore. Eventually you decide to swap it with someone else.
  243. Every time you shoot and kill a living thing, the dog from the NES game Duck Hunt appears and drags the corpse to you.
  244. Whichever candidate you support in any democratic process will lose.
  245. Your head falls off. When you pick it up, it starts performing Shakespeare. You can't reattach it until it finishes the play.
  246. You are turned into a newt. You'll get better.
  247. You now weigh the same as a duck.
  248. You now have the ability to be dismembered without losing blood or dieing.
  249. You are visited by a gecko selling car insurance.
  250. A giant foot comes down from the sky and steps on you, making a loud farting noise.
  251. You decide to quite your day job and become a Pastamancer.
  252. The next time you approach a building you desperately want to enter, you are waylaid by guards who speak with outrageous French accents and taunt you incomprehensibly.
  253. You feel a compelling need to start an emo blog on Myspace to get attention.
  254. You are now a hampster. Only mentally handicapped people or those who have recently suffered head trauma can understand you.
  255. You suddenly think hamster is spelled with a P.
  256. You acquire a strange affinity, a sort of spiritual connection, with all the neighborhood squirrels.
  257. you now spell things like 'honor' with a U and insist it's "Aluminium." If you already do these things, you cease.
  258. You are now extremely allergic to copper.
  259. You feel compelled to dress like an upper-class Englishwoman of the 1880s.
  260. All money bursts into flame.
  261. You now write and type in "leetspeak" uncontrollably.
  262. Every time you flip a coin, if it comes up heads, you are granted good luck for a brief period of time. If it comes up tails, you suffer extremely terrible luck instead.
  263. You are convinced of the fact that all the other countries in the world except America are just made up, and don't really exist
  264. You are convinced that the entire world and everyone in it is a dream. You aren't sure whose dream, however.
  265. A life-sized portrait of yourself with arrive shortly in the mail. You will cease to age, and the portrait will age in your stead. If it is destroyed, you will instantly catch up to the point you would otherwise be.
  266. You feel very tired, and fall asleep.
  267. Try again.
  268. You are now in a jail cell. You can't remember how you got there. The police will let you out in the morning, but they won't tell you why you were there.
  269. You find a small card that says "Get Out Of Jail Free" on it. Any time you are imprisoned, you may take out this card and will it to work. It will vanish, and whatever has you trapped will open or unlock.
  270. The money in your wallet has doubled.
  271. The money in your wallet has been reduced by half.
  272. All money currently in your possession has been replaced with Monopoly money.
  273. There is now a Diary/Journal a your home which records all the pertinent events and thoughts in your life as though you had written it, but it writes itself each night while you sleep.
  274. All books you own have been replaced with various religious texts. If you're lucky, some of them may be extremely rare ones... such as the Dead Sea Scrolls.
  275. You are now a Bibliomancer, and your Library is the Library of Congress.
  276. Your parents, if alive, are now dead. In one week, they will rise from the dead as zombies, driven only by the need to cook and clean for you. They also eat human flesh, but would never harm you. Your guests/roomates/spouse/children, however...
  277. Your first born child is or shall be the Antichrist.
  278. Your sexual organ is now a tentacle monster.
  279. Your kidneys speak to you, and tell you to do bad things.
  280. You are now made of tin. You somehow know that you can return to human form, but only by devouring a fresh human heart.
  281. You're life goals is now to work a 9-5 job.
  282. You are now made of cloth stuffed with straw. You somehow know that you can return to human form, but only by devouring a fresh human brain.
  283. Your skin turns green. You no longer feel hunger, but get thirsty more often. If you don't spend lots of time in the sun, you begin to starve.
  284. You can now depress anyone provided the listen to your country singing.
  285. You are now magnetic.
  286. Your eyeballs now appear to be made of fire.
  287. You have become a redneck, Your mother is now your half sister and your father is your grandfather as well.
  288. You're heart has stopped beating yet you still servive.
  289. You now have a long, sticky, prehensile tongue. You feel much more comfortable using it instead of your hand or utensils when eating.
  290. Your feces smells like roses.
  291. You no longer have fingernails.
  292. You're bodly fluids are combustable for the next 1D8 days. (nitroglisorin)
  293. Your voice now causes people's ears to bleed. Pronlonged exposure will render people deaf. You can still whisper without harming anyone.
  294. You're nipple has just been bitten off by a beaver, you are now a redneck.
  295. You can now speak with squireels. Chikoo chikoo chikoo.
  296. You're eyes are now removable and you can still see though them while they are not within your head.
  297. You constantly have a small static charge. Your clothes all cling and you give people annoying little shocks.
  298. You just pissed your self.
  299. Your no longer have bones, but your body retains its form somehow. Now, however, you can bend your joints in any direction, and you cannot suffer fractures or breaks.
  300. Your brain and spine are transformed into a snake-like creature. They function as normal until you are killed. At this point, you realize what you really are and can exit the dead body. You can then remove the spine and devuour the brains of others, gaining their memories and the ability to install yourself and control their body.
  301. Gelatin in your presence comes to live and gains corrosive properties. It then tries to dissolve you.
  302. AThe next time you play a violent video game, you feel strongly compelled to reenact the violence in the real world.
  303. The next time you watch a violent movie or TV show, you feel strongly compelled to reenact the violence in the real world.
  304. The nearest television or monitor suddenly turns off (if off) and starts showing home movies of when you were a kid for the next half hour.
  305. You suddenly feel a surge of power, but nothing happens.
  306. The soles of your shoes have melted.
  307. You have become flachelent
  308. You fart nitrusoxide.
  309. Every stranger within 1 mile of you knows your name, your face, and that they really don't like you for some reason.
  310. For the next 48 hours, every time you look at a sharp object you get a vivid mental image of yourself using it to murder the person you care about the most.
  311. for the next week your hands are covorred in freash dripping blood yet you have no injerys
  312. The next time you are on a plane, it will crash in a giant fireball. Everyone on the plane except for yourself (and any other player(s)) will die.
  313. The next time you take a trip, when you arrive at your destination, your luggage will contain severed body parts of a person you never met. This will happen even if the luggage doesn't leave your presence for the entire trip.
  314. The bottoms of your feet being oozing slime, enough to allow you to skate around barefoot.
  315. Your left hand and right hand have swapped positions.
  316. You can now smell Fear.
  317. Whenever you look in a mirror, you can see the Grim Reaper standing somewhere behind you. No one else sees it.
  318. Whenever someone will die soon, you see the Grim Reaper following them around. The closer he is, the less time before they die. During the day they are to die, he will have one hand on their shoulder.
  319. You have a large tattoo of a cartoonish symbol that relates to your strongest positive personality trait on your stomache. If you bare it and shout "Stare!" whilst staring at someone, a beam of colorful light will issue forth and push them backwards with great force. Afterwards, they'll feel happier and slightly more compelled to be nice to others, moreso the longer they are exposed.
  320. You now have a tattoo of a bullseye on your forehead.
  321. A tatoo of the face of each person you've ever killed is now on your back. If you kill more people, their faces also appear. You can sometimes hear them whispering to each other, especially when you're alone. They seem to be plotting against you.
  322. You fall asleep for 24 hours.
  323. You fall asleep for 48 hours.
  324. You fall asleep for a week.
  325. You fall asleep for a month.
  326. You fall asleep for the winter.
  327. Whenever you're asleep, you find yourself in other peoples' dreams instead of your own. Sometimes, they recongize you in the waking world afterwards.
  328. Generate two more surges. Apply both.
  329. All continual surge effects gained this session wear off.
  330. All continual surge effects gained this campaign wear off.
  331. All continual surge effects wear off.
  332. This character will appear as an NPC in the next game the player is in.
  333. Your last name is now your first name, and vice versa. This does not effect the rest of your family.
  334. All metal weapons you touch instantly rust up then crumble to dust.
  335. You are addicted to beans.
  336. Jehovah's Witnesses come to your home every day.
  337. You have suddenly been enrolled in Oprah's book club.
  338. You have suddenly been enrolled in the Cheese of the Month Club.
  339. You now have a PhD in some useless field.
  340. Your name will appear in the nest obituary, and everyone who knows you will just happen to read it.
  341. Two corpses will disappear from the nearest morgue. They will reappear in your trunk. If you do not remove them, the police will pull you over at some point and find some reason to look in your trunk.
  342. You will be accused of attempting to assassinate the president. There will be photographic evidence that it was you. The weapon will be found in your home or on your person, despite the fact you've never seen it before.
  343. An airplane will crash into your home while you're away.
  344. There is now a labyrinth in your basement. A minotaur lives there.
  345. If you didn't have one before, you now have a bed with metal, removable bedknobs. There is a note tied to one knob that says if you state a place, turn the knob a quarter turn to the left, and tap it three times, the bed will take you there.
  346. There is now a black hole in your mouth. It is safely contained when your mouth is closed, but as soon as you open it, it will draw in everything in front of you.
  347. If you were right-handed, you are now left-handed, and vice-versa.
  348. You are now ambidextrous, but lack the ability to dance well.
  349. You no longer have a neck. The base of your head meets the top of your chest.
  350. You no longer have a head. Your face is in your chest.
  351. You now have two sets of arms.
  352. You are instantaneously transported 24 hours into the future.
  353. All clocks within 1 mile begins running backwards.
  354. All clocks within 1 mile begin melting.
  355. You suddenly owe the mob a lot of money.
  356. The people pictured on currency begin talking to you. No one else can hear them.
  357. You find a door somewhere in your home that wasn't there before. When you open it, it leads to a mysterious island in the Bermuda Triangle.
  358. From now on, if someone draws a chalk circle around you, you cannot leave it. Your worst enemy suddenly knows this.
  359. You suddenly double in size. (Your weight increases by a factor of 8.)
  360. You must say "eh" at the end of every single sentence, without exception.
  361. You now speak with an accent completely different than the one you should.
  362. You now speak in pig latin.
  363. Whenever "The Outer Limits" or "The Twilight Zone" is on, your TV turns itself on and switches to that channel. It remains on, even if you unplug it, until the show ends.
  364. You are now the owner of a complete collection of vintage comic books. These comics feature you as the main character. You are some sort of paranormal investigator, and you are always combating some supernatural threat. Each issue ends with you being killed somehow. Despite the rarity, no one seems willing to buy the comics from you.
  365. Suddenly, everyone in town who knows you thinks they owe you about
  366. The last 20 minutes of gameplay didn't happen. You remember them anyway.
  367. You hear the sound of winchimes made out of lost souls and broken glass every time you open an elevator door.
  368. Every dog in town barks your name in morse code at midnight on the fifth day of each month.
  369. Your clothing suddenly constricts, and merges into your skin.
  370. Your undergarments spontaneously move three feet to the right.
  371. Your torso spontaneously moved three feet to the right. The rest of you remains in place. Strangely, it doesn't hurt.
  372. You grow enormous elephant ears. But you're not Dumbo, so they don't let you fly.
  373. Everyone around you can hear you broadcasting thoughts. Unfortunately, these thoughts aren't the same as the ones you're thinking.
  374. When you step ona crack, you really do break your mother's back. And she's getting pissed off.
  375. All the potted plants in the building turn into pot plants. (You know, marijuana.)
  376. Your hair turns to spaghetti (no cheese, no sauce).
  377. Every fake plant for 3.33 block radius becomes real. All the real plants become fake.
  378. You are suddenly impaled against the wall by an obsidian spear. Somehow it doesn't hurt.
  379. The cast and crew of a reality TV series abduct you for an hour-long makeover special.
  380. Your eyeballs fall out, and roll under the couch.
  381. You become convinced your life is really a reality TV show and everyone around you is actor's in it.
  382. You turn into a six-year-old girl. Everyone around you is deathly afraid you'll wish them away into a cornfield.
  383. You are beset by a plague of dachshunds.
  384. You are beset by a plague of weiner dogs for eating hot dog buns on a Friday.
  385. All the hot dogs in the area turn into miniature dachshunds who attack peoples' ankles.
  386. You suddenly can't seem to eat anything anymore, but are able to survive off water and sunlight.
  387. The Revolution comes, and you are first up against the wall.
  388. All the floorboards in the area creak noisily.
  389. There is a blinding flash of light. When you recover, everything you look at seems semi-transparent.
  390. You turn into your mother.
  391. You turn into your father.
  392. You turn into your inner child.
  393. Your inner child is bodily manifested, and demands crayons.
  394. You are surrounded by a gaggle of anime-style chibi creatures who claim to be your emotions.
  395. Whenever you try to speak, you instead make the sound of heavy construction machinery.
  396. You hear the sound of one hand clapping.
  397. Whenever you try to speak, you instead make the sounds of obnoxiously noisy insects.
  398. Everything you say seems to echo for several seconds.
  399. An emoticon appears hovering over your head. It changes with your mood.
  400. An assortment of woodland creatures enter and begin sweeping and dusting.
  401. Your mailman is really an agent from some nefarious organization (other than the Postal Service).
  402. A baseball, autographed by Babe Ruth, flies in the window and smacks you on the head, knocking you unconscious.
  403. You are suddenly transported to the house you lived in as a child (or the spot it once stood).
  404. The house you once lived in as a child is suddenly transported here, replacing whatever architecture is in the area.
  405. Your favorite stuffed animal from when you were a child is now waiting for you on your bed. It's now able to move around and speak, and refuses to leave you alone.
  406. The nearest building transforms into a lighthouse.
  407. You will be hunted by an evil doll which trying to leech away your humanity, little by little.
  408. Any hat you wear develops a small portal to a realm filled with rabbits.
  409. You are transported to Barbie world. It's made of plastic- it's fantastic.
  410. Doves randomly fly out of your mouth.
  411. A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the nearest bar.
  412. You find yourself magnetically attracted to the opposite sex. (No, the magnetism is not a metaphor here.)
  413. You instantly know a person's religion when you look at them.
  414. You instantly know a person's sexual preferrences when you look at them.
  415. You will be hunted by a crazy old witch who will attempt to steal your youth.
  416. You will be hunted by a crazy kindergartener who will attempt to steal your age.
  417. The nearest tree to your home now contains a small cookie factory operated by tiny elves.
  418. All the spilled blood and bloodstains in the area turn to fudge.
  419. You are convinced you are the second coming of Christ, though you aren't given any special powers.
  420. You are convinced you are the second coming of Elvis, though you aren't given any special ability to sing or dance.
  421. Whenever you cry, your tears will flood the room with at least an inch of salt water.
  422. From now on, you shed dead skin in the same manner a snake does.
  423. From now on, every time you laugh you will slowly turn into a giggly Japanese schoolgirl.
  424. You are slowly transforming into a gelatinous ooze. The process will take about a week. There is some way to reverse it, but you must discover it yourself.
  425. All animal crackers in a 10 mile radius spring to life.
  426. All bird within 1 mile transform into bricks for 5 minutes.
  427. All the clothes everyone is wearing turn to some sort of cheap plastic.
  428. The next person you kiss will transform into an mannequin.
  429. All clocks within 3 miles are now stuck on the time 3:33.
  430. The next person you kill will be wake up in a dumpster across town as a person of the opposite sex with no clothes or ID.
  431. Your soul leaves your body in the form of a ghost. You cannot return to your body for 24 hours, but you may possess others. If you do not manage to return to your body within 6 hours of being able to, it will die and rapidly decay.
  432. The earth stops revolving, and the sun (or moon) stands still in the sky. All clocks keep working as normal, though.
  433. Your face turns into a clock.
  434. You look exactly like Abraham Lincoln for 24 hours.
  435. You turn into a sentient china doll. You can still move, but you're extremely fragile, and your skin is slippery.
  436. You suddenly find yourself tightly crammed into an ordinary glass Coca-Cola bottle.
  437. A tiny dragon now follows you around and claims to be your familiar. No one else can see it, and it can't interact with physical objects.
  438. All analog clocks within 1 mile now have 13 numbers instead of 12.
  439. Your voice is switched with that of someone nearby.
  440. Whenever you speak, the sound comes out backwards, like a tape played in reverse.
  441. You randomly change bodies with the nearest person of the opposite sex.
  442. A small fairy will appear and try to abduct you and take you away to Neverland.
  443. You suddenly have feathers instead of hair.
  444. Your right foot in now encased in crystal. It's nearly indestructable, and spreads at regular intervals.
  445. You are now perfectly sane.
  446. Each time you injure someone or cause them pain, you will become slightly weaker, more delicate, and more feminine.
  447. You suddenly have tentacles instead of hair.
  448. You are now bald, and a map to an ancient treasure is tattooed on you head.
  449. Your hair grows five feet and attempts to molest you.
  450. Your eyes now change colors to reflect your mood, like a mood ring.
  451. You can only be killed by being beheaded by a blade.
  452. You suddenly can only breathe water.
  453. You are suddenly slapped in the face by a large trout.
  454. Your nostrils disappear and a blow-hole forms in your back.
  455. Your fingers and toes are now webbed.
  456. Your breasts grow twice as large, and you now lactate constantly.
  457. Everyone who knows you sees you as incredibly beautiful naked woman.
  458. You are now pregnant with a litter of kittens.
  459. You are now accompanied by your own background music.
  460. The next time you encounter someone who is pregnant, their pregnancy will suddenly transfer to you.
  461. You now have the tail of a male peacock.
  462. You now have the antlers of a male stag.
  463. You can eat nothing but ramen noodles.
  464. You now have the tongue of a cat, and feel the urge to use it regularly to clean yourself.
  465. You gain the ability to drink liquids through your fingertips.
  466. All the numerical keys on any keypad in three miles now read three.
  467. An electrical cord appears on you in the place of a tail. If you don't plug into 110v wall current often enough, you will slow down and ultimately stop entirely.
  468. At any given time, there are three new condoms in your pockets.
  469. The next time you visit a doctor, he will put you under anesthesia and conduct sexual reassignment surgery.
  470. You have a powerful affinity for Sashimi.
  471. You randomly black out and channel various anime or cartoon-show characters.
  472. All spoons within five miles disappear.
  473. The area within a mile of here will somehow experience the exact same weather as a random location in Switzerland.
  474. All silverware within five miles turns into spoons.
  475. _Thus Spake Zarathustra_ spontaneously begins to play, loudly.
  476. The next spoon you attempt to use increases in size until it is too large to use for the intended purpose.
  477. You grow a shell like a turtle.
  478. You grow a carapace like a lady-bug.
  479. You now have compound eyes.
  480. You can no longer see in color, but you can see in the dark.
  481. Your body produces industrial lubricant for the next week.
  482. The moon turns to cheese- the icky processed kind.
  483. For the next week, you will find dozens of little boxes and bottles marked "Eat Me" and "Drink Me". If you eat or drink them, you'll either grow shorter or taller.
  484. All the flowers in the area suddenly want to talk to you, but they only have rude insulting things to say.
  485. All the white powders within a mile radius turn into cocaine.
  486. Your ears triple in size.
  487. Each time you eat cookies or drink cocoa, you will turn more and more into one of Santa's elves.
  488. Santa arrives and gives you coal.
  489. Your nose glows red like a beacon.
  490. Santa arrives, and takes all your toys from you.
  491. Your soul is absorbed by the nearest tree. You can only manifest yourself as a cloud of floating leaves.
  492. All the land within a mile's radius exchanes places with a farm in eastern Europe. People and animals stay where they were, however.
  493. Your voice falls out, and becomes a crystal bead. If you don't have it about your body somewhere, you are unable to speak.
  494. Your voice suddenly becomes two octaves higher.
  495. You suddenly inflate into a sphere and turn blue.
  496. You suddenly turn into an animated character. You can be affected by pencils and erasers.
  497. All pens in the area now write with blood.
  498. You now spray ink when frightened.
  499. Your spit is now acidic, and you can launch it with accuracy into peoples' eyes.
  500. The prime minister of Sweden stumbles into the room and drops dead.
  501. The person who bullied you in school is now dead, and his brutally murdered corpse is in your closet.
  502. A crazy man who thinks he's Jack Bauer from CTU runs into the room, and starts interrogating you.
  503. Whenever you squeeze a tube of toothpaste, ground beef comes out.
  504. All lunchmeat within 2 miles becomes liverwurst.
  505. You are consumed by a giant carnivorous plant. Three hours later you wake up in a flower, naked, three inches tall, with fairy-wings.
  506. All condoms you touch turn into flesh-eating worms.
  507. The wallpaper shimmers. The next person who touches it will be absorbed into it and become part of the design.
  508. All license plates in the area suddenly change to that of another state.
  509. You feel inclined to obsessively check the time every 5 minutes or so.
  510. You now work at the local McDonalds. Any job you currently had is filled by another person, and no one remembers you ever wokring there.
  511. You now look and sound like Austin Powers.
  512. All money you're currently carrying is replaced by a roughly equivalent value of copper, silver, and gold coins.
  513. When you wear verticle stripes, you look 20 pounds lighter. Horizontal stripes make you look 20 pounds heavier.
  514. The nearest fire takes a vaugely humanoid shape and insists that it controls your fate by deciding probability.
  515. Whenever you touch water, your legs instantly become a fish tail. They return to normal only once you are completely dry.
  516. You now speak and gesture like Captain Kirk. On the bright side, if you 'judo chop' someone in the neck, they are instantly knocked unconscious.
  517. You lose all emotion and become obsessed with logic. If you grip someone on the side of the neck, you can subdue them and render them unconscious.
  518. Money now literally burns holes in your pockets.
  519. Every time you sneeze, someone in vicinity (possibly including yourself) suffers another !uasurge.
  520. Every time someone asks you to do something, you insist on reminding them that it's outside the scope of your profession. (e.g. "I'm a doctor, not an elevator!")
  521. The soles of your feet are no longer affected by friction.
  522. A shiny jewel with magic powers embeds itself in your forehead.
  523. Your fingernails grow to four inches in length, and can no longer be trimmed.
  524. Suddenly, you have only four fingers on each hand. (That includes the thumb.)
  525. Your left leg is replaced with a wooden peg, named Smith.
  526. All the writing within a five mile radius turns to some obscure form of Cyrillic.
  527. All the writing within a five mile radius turns to some obscure form of Hebrew.
  528. All the writing within a five mile radius turns to some obscure form of heiroglyphics.
  529. You can no longer hear any speech or sound effects, but you can read people's words in speech bubbles.
  530. People's thoughts appear to you in thought bubbles over their heads.
  531. You will be eaten by some sort of monster within the next 24 hours. After you are eaten, you will become the monster yourself.
  532. You turn into a hobbit. Every Lord of the Rings fan within miles will flock to ask for your autograph.
  533. Each time somebody or something hurts you physically, you will become more and more feminine.
  534. Whenever you are sexually aroused, you will turn into a person of the opposite sex.
  535. You enter a state of suspended animation and are encased in a giant crystal made of some valuable gemstone.
  536. All the glass within a one-mile radius turns to diamond.
  537. All motor vehicles within a five-mile radius turn into bicycles.
  538. A volcano starts to erupt in a nearby field. It will start small, but gradually build itself up.
  539. The entire landscape in a twenty-mile radius is spontaneuosly blanketed with nine feet of snowfall.
  540. You suddenly become very cold to the touch, and bring the temperature down below freezing in every room you're in. All bodies of water freeze for several miles around you, and a large area around you is subject to random snowfalls.
  541. All the shoes in the area turn into ice skates.
  542. All the shoes in the area turn into roller skates.
  543. Your feet turn into roller skates.
  544. All the wheels in a one-mile radius turn square.
  545. You are now wearing fancy white kid gloves. They won't stain, and they refuse to come off.
  546. The next ridiculous fear that someone voices aloud will come true.
  547. Your left eye is replaced by a ruby-colored gem of great magical power.
  548. Your skin turns into velvet.
  549. Your skin turns into satin.
  550. Your skin splits and sheds itself like a cocoon. Inside it, you find you have become a small childlike creature with butterfly wings and two sets of arms.
  551. Over the next few days, you will construct and enter a giant coccoon. When you come out, you will have metamorphosed into something different.
  552. You adopt a new inner child. She's only five years old, and likes princesses, unicorns, and My Little Pony figurines.
  553. You adopt a new inner child. He's a juvenile delinquent with a criminal record.
  554. You discover a basket of 33 brightly colored, decorated eggs. Each time one breaks, it causes another surge.
  555. God damn it. More ants. The little bastards...
  556. Along came a spider, who sits down besideya.
  557. You discover a portal to Paradise. Unfortunately, it's been marked officially off-limits.
  558. Any imatation jewelry or costumes in the area becomes real.
  559. The next time you enter a cemetary, you find a grave stone with your (exact) name on it. The birth date is yours, and the date of death is the date this effect was generated. There is a brief message that further identifies it as your grave. If you dig up the grave, you find your own corpse.
  560. Whenever someone asks you your name, you temporarily forget what it is.
  561. Whenever someone asks you your name, you blurt out the name of a well-known celebrity.
  562. There is a swastika tattooed on your forehead. It cannot be removed by conventional means.
  563. Newscasters on TV and the radio sometimes talk directly to You, and the messages they tell you are either a warning of future danger, or a possible solution to a perplexing problem you currently have.
  564. The moon is now full, and will remain in that state until the next time it is supposed to be, at which point it will resume its normal phases.
  565. Every time you flip a coin, it will land on it's side and refuse to ever indicate Heads or Tails.
  566. Every die you roll will come up a 3 or a 6 without exception.
  567. Whenever you clap your hands twice, all lights in the room turn on. Whenever you clap three times, all lights in the room turn off.
  568. The next time you enter a church, all the stained glass windows will shatter.
  569. Whenever you come within 20 feet of a statue or image of the Virgin Mary, it begins to cry blood.
  570. Hearing people pray causes you migraines.
  571. Caffeine now acts as a sedative for you.
  572. You are immune to all venerial diseases. You can still be a carrier and infect others, however.
  573. You now have the ears and tail of a raccoon. You feel compelled to eat trash. If you wag your tail, you fall slowly.
  574. Birds now perch on you as though you were a statue.
  575. All birds within a 5 mile radius blinks twice in unison.
  576. A mother bird makes her nest in your hair and lays several eggs.
  577. Taking aspirin cures you of all diseases and injury instantly.
  578. You are fatally allergic to aspirin.
  579. Your dog up and dies.
  580. Whenever you meditate, you levitate two feet above the ground.
  581. Men in black suits wearing dark sunglasses follow you everywhere. If you try to confront them, they are suddenly no longer there.
  582. Whenever television commercials tell you to throw something out, you feel compelled to obey.
  583. You are omniscient for 30 seconds. You then suffer complete amnesia for 24 hours.
  584. You now have two heads, each one controlling half of your body. The other head has the opposite personality you do.
  585. Your closest female friend or significant other is beseiged by several "super goblins" who kidnap her and rape her, leaving her pregnant. The baby will fully develop in 2 hours, at which point it will viciously tear its way out of her.
  586. You are now flexible enough to perform oral sex on yourself.
  587. In your hands, a plastic spork is the deadliest weapon known to mankind.
  588. A tiny black stormcloud appears 3 feet above your head, and it begins to pour rain. It will follow you around, raining constantly, for 24 hours.
  589. All shoes within 2 miles become wooden clogs.
  590. Your skin turns white and you lose the ability to speak. You gain the ability to create temporary invisible barriers by gesturing as though pressing and moving your hands against a wall.
  591. An African Swallow swoops out of nowhere and drops a coconut on your head. The coconut splits neatly in half upon impact.
  592. Any vehicle you drive goes faster while you make silly motor noises with your mouth.
  593. If you shout "Tag" and touch someone, a surge happens to them.
  594. 3 triple-decker cheeseburgers appear out of nowhere.
  595. All buttons on your clothing pop off simultaneously.
  596. All the locks on your home have been changed.
  597. Your mouth suddenly has a zipper, which you can zip to keep your lips shut. If you pull too hard, though, it might get stuck or the little zipper-handle thing might fall off.
  598. You find a severed head in the next box you open. It's a duplicate of your own head.
  599. Chickens fly into a frenzy at the sight of you, and try to peck you to death.
  600. You gain mind-reading powers, and can hear anyone's thoughts if they're within a quarter-mile, but the powers only work while you're stark naked.
  601. Your upper lip is stiff, and is kept that way at all times.
  602. You feel compelled to sip tea with your pinky finger extended.
  603. You gain the ability to fly, but only while wearing brightly colored tights and a cape.
  604. Everyone you know thinks you're being Emo for 24 hours.
  605. Whenever you put on undergarments, you become the opposite sex of the kind that the undergarments were meant for. If you try to mix and match, you either end up sexless or a hermaphrodite...
  606. Anyone who sees you naked goes blind for 12 hours.
  607. A spiked dog collar appears around your neck. It cannot be removed by conventional means.
  608. Your shoes begin to eat your feet.
  609. You suddenly know your True Name (which is different from the one you normally use). You also know that if anyone else learns this name and speaks it to you, they can force you to follow their commands.
  610. Your underpants spontaneously migrate to the top of your head.
  611. Your underpants start trying to eat you.
  612. Your nose turns into a cherry.
  613. Any and all clothing you wear feels extremely itchy.
  614. Your nose is now detachable. You can still smell through it when it's not connected.
  615. You know that trick where you make a kindergartener think you've stolen his or her nose? You actually can steal the nose.
  616. All children under the age of 10 see you as Ronald McDonald.
  617. Whenever you kiss another person, both of you change sex. The effect only works once per person per twenty-four hours.
  618. Your writing skills degenerate to those of a first-grader.
  619. Your spouse or significant other is now a large ogre (in a literal sense). Further, they are aroused by your mere presence.
  620. Whenever you kiss someone, their breasts grow.
  621. Whenever someone kisses you, your breasts grow.
  622. Whenever you fantasize about someone, their clothes suddenly tear off their body.
  623. Your breasts turn into miniature udders.
  624. Whenever you think dirty thoughts, all your clothing disappears until 1 minute after you stop.
  625. Whenever you think dirty thoughts, a layer of topsoil slowly coats the area at a rate of about a foot every five minutes.
  626. Your writing skills degenerate to that of Keith. (Sorry! I couldn't resist.)
  627. You turn into a little chubby naked cherub, and start to hover.
  628. Doors refuse to open for you until you turn the handle or knob 333 times.
  629. Whenever you throw darts, they will always hit the 3 slice of the dartboard.
  630. The next time you fire a weapon, you'll shoot your eye out.
  631. The next time you handle a pointy object, you'll poke your eye out.
  632. If you run with scissors, you'll accidentally kill someone.
  633. If you run with scissors, you'll accidentally kill yourself.
  634. A bowling ball attaches itself to your left hand. It cannot be removed by conventional means.
  635. If you eat an apple every day, you'll remain in perfect health.
  636. Whenever you have a brainstorm, bolts lightning will arc forth from your skull.
  637. It will rain Captain Crunch cereal for 1 minute.
  638. You bleed cherry Jell-O.
  639. All your clothing turns black the moment you put it on.
  640. Your shoes turn into three-inch stilleto high heels, and cannot be removed by conventional means.
  641. Every time you shout "DO OVER!" you are instanly transported 1 minute into the past.
  642. Your skin develops funny green-colored splotches.
  643. Whenever someone throws a stick, you feel compelled to fetch.
  644. You are now 10 years older.
  645. You are now 10 years old.
  646. You are now 10 years younger..
  647. You feel compelled to steal other people's ideas and alter them only slightly. You are now Fennec.
  648. You age a month every time you say the word "I".
  649. From now on, if you blow out any candles on a cake, you turn that many years old.
  650. You must now sing the entire song that begins "I am the very model of a modern major general" before taking any other action.
  651. Every time you eat the heart of an unborn baby you become immune to the effects of ageing for a decade.
  652. Whenever you have a brainstorm, you wet your pants.
  653. You remember every word to every song the John Leonnon meant to write but never did.
  654. You are suddenly convinced that the Hokey-Pokey is what it's all about.
  655. Everyone you meet becomes convinced you can work miracles by touching them, and they want to keep your hands.
  656. Whenever you open a Pixie Stick, pixies fly out.
  657. Whenever you eat Pixie Stix, you turn into a pixie for the next two hours.
  658. M&Ms melt in your hand, but never in your mouth.
  659. You are magickally bound to the next container you touch. You are then given phenominal cosmic powers that can do anything, but you can only use them to enter or leave said vessel, or teleport to it from anywhere. If someone rubs the vessel, you are forced to appear and grant that person up to 3 wishes using your power. You have the freedom to alter the results, as long as its within the wording of the wish.
  660. A necktie appears on your neck and attempts to strangle you.
  661. A doppleganger of you appears next to you. You are both equally convinced that you are the original.
  662. You grow a series of spikes which protrude from your skin along your spine, like a stegasaurus.
  663. your neck becomes the neck of a giraffe.
  664. Whenever a hearse passes you, the driver honks out the first seven syllables of "It's a small world after all"
  665. Your tongue becomes the tongue of a giraffe. (Those things are freaky, man.)
  666. A panda walks into the nearest bar, eats shoots and leaves.
  667. You become convinced that your best friend suffers from mad giraffe disease.
  668. Your armpit hair grows several feet.
  669. The cars are watching you. Waiting for a mistake.Waiting for you to mix up the leaded and unleaded fuel. Every morning you find a piece of car in the mailbox,and soon you will have enough to build it.
  670. Cows speak word of great wisdom to you.
  671. You attract flies like honey, or feces.
  672. Your character is now an NPC for 30 real-world minutes.
  673. You have dreams about the last time you fell in love, and whathappened to Atlantis after your first kiss. Your only goal in life is to never kiss or fall in love, because you would doom another civilization.
  674. You switch location and size with the nearest tampon for 1 hour.
  675. Every meat you eat tastes just like chicken.
  676. A life-sized sex doll of you is now lying on your bed.
  677. Your mother tells you that a choir of heavenly angels appeared over you when you were born, saw you, burst out laughing and left. Somewhere out there is a messiah the angels didn't laugh at, the one who took all your chances, you got all your blessing. But you 've been storing your luck. It's in a bullet, and some day you'll see them, and get than one perfect shot.
  678. Your clothes are now a thong bikini.
  679. After you make love to anyone, they speak in the voice of your mother for the next half hour and berate you for all the things you could have done better.
  680. You are gradually turning into your own mother.
  681. You are gradually turning into your own father.
  682. Your next child will have the upper body of a hedgehog.
  683. Every person you've ever loved has died in a tragic hot air balloon accident involving water buffalo and flying squirrels.
  684. You angerd a gypsy once and she cursed you be to yourself until the day you die.
  685. Your become pregnant. When the child is born it's a clone of yourself.
  686. You [or your wife] gave birth to an angel once, but the doctors insisted the child died stillborn. They never saw the halo.
  687. You give birth in reverse.
  688. You will wake up tomorrow inside the womb of your closest female friend, and later be reborn as her child.
  689. You vanish for ten minutes, only to re-appear ten minutes later, and experience no sense of elapsed time. This recurs every three hours.
  690. All your loved ones now want you to die.
  691. All the land within a five-mile radius is replaced with an equivalent area on the Moon. The Apollo landers are nearby.
  692. You travel back in time to 1950.
  693. You travel back in time to 1850.
  694. Your grandmother keeps calling you from beyond the grave, asking to speak to your father, and saiyng it's urgent, saying it's about you, that he has to be warned. Every time you speak she screams and the phone goes dead.
  695. You travel back in time to 1492.
  696. You travel back in time to 3000 BC.
  697. The doorbell rings every hour on the hour.
  698. You travel back in time to tomorrow.
  699. You pronounce all your Ls as Rs, and vice-velsa.
  700. Computers refuse to work when you are around them.
  701. Every egg you crack open has a baby chick inside. Sometimes they are alive.
  702. All the Macs in the area are suddenly running Windows, and vice-versa. Linux machines are found to be running AIX. Don't tell me you have any AIX boxes around, either...
  703. You now understand binary code. Unfortunately, it is now all you can speak.
  704. You are abducted by aliens. They replace your skin with silly putty.
  705. You have a copy of Edison's patented device to speak to the dead. But all they do is sound like a laugh track every time you use it.
  706. You now posses the board game Jumanji. It operates just as it does in the movie of the same name.
  707. A medicine man from a small tribe with an unpronouncable name shows up and designates you his apprentice.
  708. You become convinced that you are one of the lamed vavnik, the last 36 human beings left alive.
  709. All people within 50 feet of you are now living gingerbread people. A large glass of milk is now in your hand. Any who remain unscathed will return to normal in 15 minutes.
  710. Everytime things are at their worst for you, an eucatastrophe happens. It hasn't failed you - yet.
  711. You are convinced you're really a haruspex, and seek out animals to disembowel.
  712. You will fall in love with a mermaid, but Superman will steal her from you.
  713. You suddenly have "educated feet". (cf. superdickery.com)
  714. You fall in love with an angel, but Superdick steals her from you. Again.
  715. Whenever you go to the washroom, you produce Kopi Luwak.
  716. You fall in love with yourself, but Superman steals you from yourself... somehow.
  717. Your next child will be a mermaid for no apparent reason.
  718. Whenever you put on glasses, people no longer recognize you.
  719. Your next child will be Superman, for no apparent reason.
  720. You believe yourself to be a superhero, but every night you put on your costume stage fright keeps you inddors -what if they all hate you? What if no one needs your help? What if they laugh at you? You've taken to drinking every time you see a disaster on TV you could have averted.
  721. You die.
  722. Whenever you are cold, you begin horripilating Ever ysingle time. You can't stop it.
  723. The next time you die, you will immediately come back from the dead.
  724. Whenever you get goosebumps, goose-feathers appear, sticking out from them.
  725. Whenever someone calls you a pansy, you turn into a flower (Viola tricolora) for the next hour.
  726. Several pigs suddenly fly overhead, then vanish behind something.
  727. The floor of the room begins to open up, revealing a swimming pool underneath it.
  728. The next time someon calls you a bastard, your father will vanish off the face of the earth.
  729. A discoball is now hanging from the nearest overhead object.
  730. All overhead lamps within five miles are replaced with disco balls.
  731. All lava lamps within a 10 mile radius being spewing real lava. 3 hours and 33 minutes later the plasma lamps follow suit.
  732. Your skull turns to steel. This sets off metal detectors in airports.
  733. You begin getting the mail of the Comte De Saint Germain
  734. Every time someone mentions the WEWBYCH, you almost remember the name of your first girlfriend
  735. You are now an Avatar of yourself.
  736. You are forced to respond the next time someone utters a prayer in your hearing and must do everything in your power to answer it.
  737. You become an avatar of the First and Last Woman.
  738. If you ever win the lottery, you will die the next day.
  739. Your physical health is now tied to the health of your primary computer. This bond works both ways.
  740. Your computer is replaced with a typewriter than works better than your computer ever did.
  741. You become an avatar of Vishnu.
  742. Your entire life is googled and placed on a website for everyone to see.
  743. The mice in your home have built a shrine to you and now worship you as a diety.
  744. Your fingers no longer leave prints.
  745. Your sentient genital lice have begun controlling your limbs.
  746. The mice in your home have been granted intelligence by a secret government program and have formed their own civilization. It's nicer than yours. You'd like to join it somehow.
  747. Every historical event you've ever read has vanished from the history books.
  748. You now reside in the Lost City of Atlantis.
  749. Your adress now claims you live in lost Lemuria.
  750. Everyone who sees your home is convinced you live in a yellow submarine.
  751. Your watch is powered by cold fusion.
  752. Time seems to stop for you for 10 minutes (by your reconing).
  753. Whenever you shake hands with someone, they are shocked as if you were wearing a joy buzzer.
  754. The last CAT scan of your head showed a hamster running on a wheel, and no one could explain it.
  755. You sufffer from a continual near death experience known as being alive.
  756. You forget your mother's maiden name and, thus, can no longer access your bank account.
  757. Your hair and fingernails cease growing, except to return to the length they were at this moment.
  758. The next time you try to withdraw money from a bank, they will be fresh out, and insist you take an equivalent value of potatoes instead.
  759. The next time you get an NSF notice from the bank, they send Guido over to collect it. With interest. Say bye to Mr. Kneecap.
  760. Your brain turns into a living computer. It is promptly compromised by hackers and used to send unsolicited bulk email.
  761. You suddenly find that you're wearing horseshoe nailed to your feet. It doesn't hurt, though you'd need a blacksmith to remove or replace them.
  762. A gold ring is embedded in your nose. It is continuous, and cannot be removed unless broken.
  763. Every dwarf you meet becomes convinced you are wearing the One Ring and wants it.
  764. You grow a thick coat of wool.
  765. You compullsivelly doublle your lls. Over the next severall weeks you turn into a llama.
  766. While you are sleeping, someone steals your hair and sells it on eBay.
  767. While you are sleeping, someone steals your soul and sells it on eBay.
  768. You purchase The WEWBYCH off eBay for but the delivery is interminably delayed by the UPS.
  769. You wake up with a tattoo of the Freak on your left buttock.
  770. You taste like chocolate.
  771. You have a vivid dream of being the Flying Woman, and wake up the next morning on a rooftop dressed in lingerie.
  772. Whenever you make love you sound like maddened dingos feasting in a maternity ward.
  773. You find the Maltese Falcon.
  774. You wake up in the morning in a cradle in the nearest maternity ward.
  775. You wake up in the morning in a hospital, attached to a machine. No one will tell you what the machine is doing, but they all agree you mustn't leave.
  776. You are now a fox. Englishmen on horseback and their dogs are after you.
  777. Englishmen on horseback chase you through the subway system in the belief that you are, in fact, a fox.
  778. Wherever you step when barefoot, the floor becomes covered in cool green moss for a radius of three feet.
  779. Hallucinogenic mushrooms grow from your ears.
  780. You grow Fennec fox ears, to replace your own. They're about a foot and a half long each.
  781. Whenever you sneeze, broccoli comes flying out of your nose.
  782. Whenever you sneeze, milk sprays out of your nose.
  783. Whenever you laugh suddenly, milk sprays out of your nose.
  784. Every time you work out, you lose ten pounds off your weight, even though you don't get any smaller or leaner.
  785. Everyone in a ten-mile radius falls asleep, except for you.
  786. You wake up every morning wearing fluffy pink rabbit slippers.
  787. You wake up every morning wearing a wetsuit and dripping slightly.
  788. You wake up every morning wearing a wedding dress.
  789. Puck turns your head into that of a donkey. Titania falls in love with you in this state.
  790. Your fingers turn into bananas.
  791. You are affected by two more surges.
  792. A surge occurs, but it is deflected onto someone else.
  793. All your surges are deflected onto your closest friend or significant other... as long as they're alive.
  794. You now have a magick tattoo of a venomous snake (GM's choice) on one forearm. Once per day it will come to life an strike at the closest living thing (besides you) within 3 feet. If bitten, the target is injected with the real venom of that type of snake. You have no control over when or whom it attacks, but keeping the tattoo covered prevents the effect from occurring.
  795. You now have a magick tattoo of three overlapping chains around one arm. If you restrain someone with that arm, it is 3 times more difficult for them to break free. If they do, one of the chains becomes broken. When all three are broken, the chains become real and fall off.
  796. You have a tattoo of your one true love on your stomach, but every day hir face changes.
  797. Your alphabet soup forms secret codes that you alone have deciphered.
  798. You now have a magick tattoo of a lion somewhere on your body. 3 times per day, you may fill your lungs to capacity and then let out a loud lion roar. It sounds entirely convincing. Any person standing 3 feet or closer in front of you who hears it is deafened for 3 minutes.
  799. You now have a tattoo of a pink unicorn somewhere on your body. You now wet the bed, make a high-pitched scream when startled, and the sight of blood makes you vomit.
  800. Every time you look at a clock, it is 3:33. Every watch you own becomes stuck at 3:33. You know why in a dream you no longer recall.
  801. You have a magick tattoo of some big cat (other than a lion) somewhere on your body. Up to three times per day, if you snarl and swipe at the air, your fingernails do damage as though they were the claws of that animal for 3 minutes.
  802. No matter how often you kill the cats, the babies still have their breath stolen.
  803. Unless it's in the city park with a complete stranger you never met before lying naked on the grass under the stars it's only sex and never love. Even getting a name breaks the spell, and you become human again, and not the Lovers.
  804. You now have a magick tattoo of an African Elephant somewhere on your body. Up to 3 times per day, if you make a noise reminiscent of an elephant trumpetting, you gain the strength of an adult male elephant and weigh 5 tons for 33 seconds.
  805. You now have a magic tattoo of a leopard somewhere on your body. Up to three times a day, if you hiss like a tiger, absolutely nothing at all strange happens except you begin developing male pattern baldness earlier than usual..
  806. You now have a magick tattoo of a tiny devil on your right shoulder. Whenever you are faced with a moral decision, you hear a voice whispering in your right ear that tries to convince you to do the most selfish option.
  807. You now have a magick tattoo of a tiny angel on your left shoulder. Whenever you are faced with a moral decision, you hear a voice whispering in your left ear that tries to convince you to do the most unselfish option.
  808. You are under the impression that you are afflicted with another surge.
  809. Every time to say "damn" a small object on you disappears in a puff of brimstone. After a week of not saying it, your feet begin to resemble cloven hooves and you start growing horns.
  810. Every tattoo on your body comes to life, and if it is an animal, it tries to kill you.
  811. You now have a magick tattoo of barbed wire around some part of you. Your skin now irritates the skin of others. Not to the point of causing damage, but to the point where it's really uncomfortable to touch you.
  812. Your nose constantly leaks snot.
  813. On Mondays, your nose leaks baby lemurs who make a dash for the nearest cliff and always drown in your morning coffee.
  814. You are afflicted with leprosy.
  815. You have alzheimer's disease.
  816. You have Turret's syndrome.
  817. You now have a pouch like a female kangaroo.
  818. You have Tourette's syndrome.
  819. You now know all the characters and complete backstories of a random Soap Opera.
  820. When you speak, random words swap places in your sentences.
  821. Mosquitos, fleas, ticks, and other parasitic insects are 50 times more attracted to you.
  822. You are always absolutely convinced there is someone standing right behind you. If you try to ignore it, you can even begin to feel their breath on your neck. When you check, no one is there.
  823. You forget all lock combinations and PIN numbers you currently have memorized.
  824. You start becoming the person you wanted to be when you were six years old (policeman, etc.) against your will.
  825. Your horoscopes and fortune cookie messages have started becoming rather specific, and not all positive or even pleasant. Even worse, most of them are coming true...
  826. All piercings you have become infected.
  827. All piercings you had are suddenly gone without a trace.
  828. Whenever you watch gameshows, you feel completely sure that you know the answer, and even feel inclined to yell it out before it's revealed. However, the answer you supply is always wrong.
  829. All piercings (and holes) in your body are replaced by mouths sewn shut. After a hour, they begn to make muffled noises, and the threads start coming undone....
  830. You begin to find satanic messages in crossword puzzles.
  831. You no longer hear Satanic messages whe you play rock music backwards.
  832. You begin to notice malicious subliminal messages in classical music. No one else notices or believes you.
  833. Every time you close your eyes, you see the face of the person who is going to kill you. It starts off too blurry to really make out, but as time passes it is starting to become clearer...
  834. Every time you look into the mirror you see your face before you had the operation.
  835. You grow a thin black mustache that curls on the ends. No one will trust you until you shave it off.
  836. Whenever you remain still, you get the distinct sensation of something serpantine slithering around underneath your skin. It's always gone before you can look at the spot.
  837. You become convinced that your beard has declared war on you, but every time you try and shave it off, something prevents you.
  838. You have something Very Important in a shoebox at home. You know you must keep it safe and keep it secret, but you forget exactly what it is. When you try to open the box to look inside, you are gripped with fear and cannot bring yourself to.
  839. A bat adopts you and follows you around like you're its mate. At least one of your friends thinks it's a vampire.
  840. Every time you look at pornography, every naked person is one of your parents.
  841. Every time you look at pornography, everyone is wearing clothes.
  842. Every time your friends look at pornography, you're in it.
  843. Every time you try to look at porn, yor mother walks into the room. She still does this even though she's been dead for ten years. You have to have the carpets cleaned every time and the smell never goes away.
  844. Every time your mother walks into the room, pornography appears (either magazines or on the computer or...)
  845. All the liquids you try to drink become carbonated.
  846. You completely forget how to use a keyboard.
  847. Whenever someone sings a lullaby, you fall asleep at the end of one verse.
  848. Every night, sheep will jump over your bed. If you don't count them, you will be unable to fall asleep.
  849. You and the person closest to you switch bodies.
  850. People around you speak in lyrics, like a Broadway musical. Some even dance!
  851. All the blinds, shutters, and curtains in the building close. Windows without these things suddenly develop them.
  852. You get a sudden sense of deja vu. All the exits from the current building are locked and refuse to open, and all the windows are bricked shut. This effect ends in 3 minutes.
  853. You find a box delivered to you. You fumble through packing, feeling the edges of some metallic object, but never seem to grasp it. If you pour the peanuts out of the box, all that remains is a label at the bottom reading "You Lose."
  854. You speak ONLY in pig latin.
  855. You think you've experienced this surge before...
  856. You are convinced the aliens from the future visited you and removed your ears to replace them with a universal Esperanto translator since you don't recall having learned it.
  857. For some reason, 2+2=5 whenever you do the math.
  858. Your voice develops an echo whenever you speak above a whisper?
  859. Did you know you only speak in questions?
  860. You speak only in the third person.
  861. You don't know it, but your surface thoughts are being broadcasted to everyone around you.
  862. Whenever you breathe on plant matter, it withers and decays.
  863. Its as if you've never been born... the only one who can see you is a guardian angel in training.
  864. If you lean against the wall, your clothes and skin will blend perfectly into the wallpaper.
  865. Your skin develops zebra stripes.
  866. Your skin develops giraffe spots
  867. Your skin is transparent.
  868. You spring several leaks in your shin, and start flooding the room with water.
  869. All the books catch on fire.
  870. All water catches on fire.
  871. Whenever you are near fire, it leaps at you and tries to toast you.
  872. You are attacked by a flaming robot who throws dice at you.
  873. All flames in the area turn blue, and are cold instead of hot.
  874. A fire elemental attempts to seduce you. You end up with third-degree burns.
  875. All weapons in a ten-mile radius turn to Nerf.
  876. All the paper in the area turns to papyrus.
  877. The chandeleir falls from the ceiling in a spectacular crash.
  878. The Spanish Inquisition arrives unexpectedly. They've come for you and your associates.
  879. You expect the Spanish Inquisition.
  880. The French Inquisition arrives. For some reason they don't seem quite as menacing as the Spaniards.
  881. When next you wake up, you are dressed in the robes of the Spanish Inquisition.
  882. Whenever you put clothes on, they will slowly shrink over several minutes until they are uncomfortably tight.
  883. Your feet have been bound like they used to do to women in China; you can only walk in really tiny shoes, and cannot run.
  884. Your hands turn into mitten-like slabs.
  885. Your hair and fingernails turn a bright firey red.
  886. Your hair spontaneously braids itself while you're not paying attention to it. If you cut it short, it just grows back.
  887. You develop all the secondary sexual characteristics of the opposite sex.
  888. Your sex changes, but you retain all your secondary sexual characteristics and general appearance.
  889. Whenever someone flips you the bird, their middle finger vaporizes in a puff of smoke.
  890. Your face and skull distort into something anime-like with enormous eyeballs.
  891. You now have an enormous afro.
  892. You now have a mohawk, several ostentatious tattoos, and are wearing jewelry in several extreme piercings.
  893. You turn into a human-sized, animate, Barbie doll. You can turn your head all the way around.
  894. You have sugar cravings, and if you don't eat some every hour or so you will become extremely tired and won't be able to move, and will eventually die. Normal food doesn't seem to do much for you anymore.
  895. You grow rabbit ears. No one else seems to think they're unusual, and they all claim you've had them forever.
  896. You grow rabbit ears. You know, like the antennae on old TVs. You can push them in and pull them out and swivel them around. You now recieve all the TV broadcasts in the area.
  897. All radios in the area turn to ham. All the radio hams in the area turn into piles of ground beef.
  898. You no longer appear in mirrors.
  899. You appear as the opposite sex in mirrors.
  900. You appear as the opposite sex in photographs and mirrors.
  901. People of the other sex appear as you in photographs and mirrors.
  902. You find a skeleton key. It opens 1d10 locks, and then breaks off. You must attach the remaining end to human bones for the key to reform.
  903. You find a skeleton key. It doesn't open any locks. It opens skeletons.
  904. A short jingle sounds whenever you pick something up.
  905. You, quite literally, have skeletons in your closet.
  906. You spontaneously go into labor and give birth to a child who /appears/ human but is really something else.
  907. The cat got your tongue. This is open to some degree of interpretation.
  908. The cat got your tongue. And you have its tongue. Other body parts will follow suit.
  909. The next time you step into a completely dark room, you realize at the last second that the floor is not there. You fall endlessly, constantly increasing in speed (terminal veolcity be damned) until you pass out. When you awake, you are merely lying on the floor of the room. If someone turns a light on before you pass out, you find yourself there sooner.
  910. The building you are in turns into a greenhouse.
  911. The building you are in turns into an outhouse.
  912. The building you are in turns into an asylum.
  913. Your closet becomes your anxiety closet, but randomly confuses your anxieties with the anxities of the current inhabitant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
  914. You vivdly recall being shot in the face by the vice president during a quail hunting trip.
  915. If you are shot in the face, you will turn into a quail but remain unscathed otherwise.
  916. The details of the life you should have lived can be found on wikipedia. No one you know can edit it - or, if they can, they're not talking.
  917. You know who you were before you were born.
  918. Your quest for enlightenment will be endarkened by TV commercials every so often.
  919. The next time a telemarketer calls you, you must buy the products they advertise.
  920. You will spend your next paycheque on the home shopping network in under two hours.
  921. You will spend your next paycheck on the home psychic network in under two hours.
  922. For the next week, your life resembles a daytime Soap Opera.
  923. Eggs come out of your rear instead of feces. They look like ordinary chicken eggs.
  924. For the next 24 hours, you believe you are the opposite sex.
  925. For the next 24 hours, you believe you are the opposite sexuality.
  926. For the next 24 hours, you believe you are really your Signifigant Other and they are really you..
  927. For the next 24 hours, you believe you are really the family pet.
  928. For the next 24 hours, you believe you are a ghost.
  929. For the next 24 hours, you believe you aren't dead.
  930. For the next 24 hours, you believe anything anyone tells you.
  931. Your significant other believes that you switched bodies weeks ago, and have been stuck ever since. He or she is extremely anxious to switch "back".
  932. You have to plug your sexual organs into an outlet to get them to work anymore. You suffer from the nagging fear that you somehow invalidated the warranty.
  933. For the next 24 hours, you believe you have travelled back in time from the future.
  934. For the next 24 hours, you make eerily accurate prophecies about the future that, since you have uttered them, never happen.
  935. The next time you step on a crack, your mother's spine will shatter.
  936. For the time between noon and 1 pm each day, you gain the talent to heal any injury by touching people.
  937. Whenever you kiss someone, you switch bodies. You can't use the kiss to switch back to a body you've been in within the past week. If you try to before then, the effect will be renewed for another week.
  938. You are now completely sunburned except for an area 2 inches in diameter around your navel.
  939. During the next thre days, random strangers give you gifts.
  940. Your lower body develops a mind of its own in the posterior region and plans to secede
  941. On your next birthday, 3 men from foreign lands will arrive and each give you a present.
  942. On your next birthday, 3 men from foreign lands will try to murder you.
  943. Your body evaporates, and your mind takes up residence in the body of your significant other. You share the accomodations, but cannot communicate directly to one another. He or she doesn't notice this arrangement at all.
  944. You suddenly realize that everything you know is wrong.
  945. On your next birthday, 3 men from foreign lands will ask you for directions to a cave, saying they should have brought their wives and are probably late by now.
  946. On your next birthday, the wish you make comes true - if you don't tell anyone what you wished for.
  947. You suffer the same curse as that Ranma character.
  948. You have a coin lodged in your ear, but will be oblivious of it until someone else pulls it out.
  949. You have a banana in your ear, but will be oblivious of it until someone points it out.
  950. The next time you sleep you will be molested by a horde of army ants from hell. Doctors will be convinced it's smallpox
  951. All medical equipment will claim that you are dead.
  952. You believe every word begins with the letter P.
  953. Whenever you strike someone with your hands, it makes a random strange noise like "ZOK" or "BIFF."
  954. You can now taste colors.
  955. You don't notice it, but you turn into a robot. Your physical and mental parameters are mostly unaltered, but you suddenly are much better at mathematics.
  956. The next time you tell someone you love them, they steal your heart and sell it to missionaries from Zaire as a rump roast.
  957. The next time you make a face, your face really does stay that way.
  958. You don't noice it, but you turn Japanese. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at mathematics.
  959. You don't noice it, but you turn Jewish. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at managing money.
  960. You don't notice it, but you turn into a redneck. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at stereotyping people
  961. You don't noice it, but you turn American. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much lazier.
  962. Whatever you do seems to be offensive to Islam. Several middle-eastern nations declare a fatwa on you.
  963. Whatever you do seems to be offensive to Zen. Several people don't care, and many others don't think you exist at all, since you have no self to exist with.
  964. You don't noice it, but you turn black. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly better at sports.
  965. You don't notice it, but you turn Canadian. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at hockey, eh?
  966. You don't notice it, but you turn French. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at surrender.
  967. You don't noice it, but you turn Swiss. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you find it more difficult to take sides on issues of importance.
  968. You don't notice it, but you turn Democrat. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at changing your mind to suit the whims of the public.
  969. You don't notice it, but you turn Republican. Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly much better at ignoring public opinion entirely.
  970. You don't notice it, but you turn into Archie Bunker (aka: a bigot). Your physical and mental state is mostly unaltered otherwise, but you are suddenly have a lot more friends.
  971. Colourless green idea sleep furiously. Only you notice them. Someday they will wake up.
  972. You notice that nothing happens, but everyone else seems convinced something did.
  973. You can no longer speak except to say "Ha ha ha" obnoxiously British accent. All your friends seem to think you're just being rude.
  974. You have to kill the next person in a pink coat you see.
  975. A teenage girl hires you to take away her virginity. You start by taking her out to a nice dinner, but halfway through the meal you realize you're also a teenage girl.
  976. You receive an invitation to your funeral.
  977. Your horoscope tells everyone you are dead. Eveyone seeing you starts as if at a ghost and no one believes you didn't die.
  978. You suddenly remember how you died.
  979. You remember the last time you were really alive. And why. You now have someone to blame.
  980. Dead people call you on the phone all the time to order pizza.
  981. Dead people from before the invention of the telephone call you all the time to order pizza
  982. Alexander Graham Bell leaves a message on your answering machine.
  983. The next time you have a bath there is an oil spill in the tub.
  984. When you flush the toilet, your shower turns on.
  985. Your vehicle has been replaced by a hearse.
  986. Your house burns down and you lose everything. It feels good.
  987. Your house burns down. Again. Each time you feel freer. Soon, you will be able to fly.
  988. Your arch-nemsis suddenly appears and challenges you to a pillow fight... to the death.
  989. You know the childhood nick name of the one person who can destroy all you've worked to build and bring your dreams crashing down to lie strewn about the waste basket of the world.
  990. You feel convinced that if you make a gun shape with your hands, you can actually shoot people. It doesn't work... until you aim it at yourself.
  991. Every statue in town comes to life, but knows better than to ever move.
  992. The next thing you touch becomes animate and falls in love with you.
  993. You become convinced that you are an animatronic corpse.
  994. People have stopped walking on the same side of the street as your home. They just avoid it without thinking about it.
  995. You find out your parents were really clockwork creations all along.
  996. You are momentarily convinced you are some character your player played in a different game, and even have their memories.
  997. Every day you get something new you give up a memory.
  998. You understand the time cube.
  999. You understand linear time is a matter of habit.
  1000. You find out what the tooth fairies *really* do with all those teeth.
  1001. You now see the deeper meaning behind objects, and the truth behind the truths we perceive.
  1002. You can read the future in your vomit.
  1003. You no longer blech
  1004. You suddenly realize you're wearing a costume. The person you've been up to this point was just an act.
  1005. You can't remember the last time you really cared about anything.
  1006. Someone claiming to be God calls you every so often.
  1007. Everyone who calls you on the phone calls collect, and all the calls are important.
  1008. You have become a vergin, again.
  1009. Your unborn daughter calls you every week, frantic for you to stop smoking and drinking, and her voice gets more slurred each time she calls and she's begun coughing ...
  1010. All the number keys on your cell phone are 6's, and if you ever dial 3 6's in sucession, your phone instantly melts.
  1011. You speak with dustmites.
  1012. The next prostiute you have sex with will be an undercover cop.
  1013. The next cop you meet will be an undercover prostitute.
  1014. Until your day comes, nothing can hurt you; when your day comes, nothing can save you.
  1015. You get out of your next speeding ticket via sexual favor.
  1016. If you ever forget to X off a day on your calendar, you are forced to relive it when you wake up... and you can't do anything differently than the first time.
  1017. You're deoderent fails you.
  1018. You no longer have to breath, but your cemicly addicted to oxegen.
  1019. If you ever X off a day too early, you skip that day.
  1020. Everyone is laughing at you, not with you. Never with you.
  1021. Someone you know commits suicide, and there note is completely about you.
  1022. Someone you don't know commits suicide, and there note is completely about you.
  1023. You become painfully aware of the rules to which the univerce works and realize this is no more then a pen and paper RPG realm.
  1024. Whenever you are alone at night and glance out a window, there is someone standing outside looking in at you. When you look again, they are gone.
  1025. Whenever you get out of the shower/tub, there is a message written in the condensation on the mirror as though by someone's finger. The message is different each time.
  1026. You become painfully aware of the rules to which the univerce works and realize this is no more then a pen and paper RPG realm. Except that you have the wrong RPG.
  1027. You get a letter from your dead grandmother, asking for the money she lent you.
  1028. You will soon receive a letter that claims you are the sole heir to the throne of a tiny country you've never heard of. It says your royal parents have died in a horrible accident, and the country is beginning to descend into chaos without leadership. It implores you to return and take control, but you can't find this country on any map, and no one's heard of it. The letters keep coming, and the situation worsens...
  1029. In addition to the normal requirements, in order to gain any charge, you must also be naked at the time.
  1030. All magick charges you currently have are randomly distributed to the people around you.
  1031. The next door you open opens into a room full of monkeys with typewriters, all typing the works of Shakespeare.
  1032. The next door you open opens into a hallway.
  1033. The next door you open opens into the room you're already in. In fact, its the same doorway. Luckily, you're not on the other side.
  1034. There are worms burrowing into your skull. They are your brains.
  1035. The next song you hear on the radio mentions you by name. Full name.
  1036. You turn into an angel, with a smooth face, a bright glow, white feathery wings, a halo that floats above your head, and pure white robes. You don't get /any/ angelic-type powers, though.
  1037. You have been cursed, a la Oedipus. The only cure is to recite two words that rhyme with "purple."
  1038. The next stranger you shake hands with is, in reality, an alien. Their species mates by shaking hands. Congratulations!
  1039. People around you use couplets to speak, / Chances of good conversations are bleak.
  1040. Whenever you experience a surge, you suddenly are naked.
  1041. You suddenly are naked.
  1042. You wish you had a birth year. But the doctors who made you said the parts all had different years. So they flipped a coin to pick one, but the generator overheated and exploded before it landed. Only you alone escaped.
  1043. The next time you enter a restaurant or other eatery, the chef will be Elvis
  1044. You don't have enough stamina to move. The kitten bites! You die...
  1045. Plants around you grow at about twenty times their normal speed, and are much lusher and larger than normal - as big as dinner plates, often.
  1046. You shrink to the size of a Barbie doll.
  1047. Whenever you get wet, your clothes disintegrate.
  1048. Someone offers you the choice between a red pill, and a blue pill.
  1049. Someone offers you the choice between a red pill, and a blue pill. Both are poison.
  1050. Someone occasionally seizes control of your computer and gives you prophetic messages.
  1051. You are immune to all poison, but common table salt causes you to break out in hives all over.
  1052. Whenever anyone experiences a surge, you become naked.
  1053. You always feel overheated, even if naked in a snowstorm. Despite feeling too warm, your body still suffers ill effects from being exposed to cold conditions.
  1054. The amounts of your paychecks are always divisible by 3.
  1055. Processed sugar has a similar behavioral effect on you as cocaine.
  1056. You are extremely cold to the touch - so cold that if people were to, say, lick you, their tongue would stick to your skin. But you feel temperature perfectly normally.
  1057. All your clothing shrinks when washed.
  1058. You shrink a little whenever your clothing is washed.
  1059. The black helicopters come for you.
  1060. The black helicopters come for you. Except they're not helicopters, they're alien bugs.
  1061. All your surges (active and pending) switch with someone else's.
  1062. Sharp pokey spikes project from your shoulders.
  1063. You wake up and find someone stole all your dreams while you slept and replaced them with IOUs.
  1064. Every time you wake up, you alternate between being yourself and being some other person entirely with their own life, past, etc.
  1065. In an office building somewhere is a door that leads into your mind. (a la Being John Malkovich)
  1066. Everytime you wake up, your bed has been moved in your rom. You never know how, but the feng shui is always off.
  1067. You now can visually see the flow of chi in a room, and bad Feng Shui makes you really uncomfortable.
  1068. The firm that does your accounting processes your clains with sweat and tears and sometimes people hear the little elves that change the tax laws giggling inside drawers, putting taxes on mended shoes.
  1069. Every computer in rooms you enter automatically lines up for perfect Porn Shui - No one entering the room will see what you are typing on the screen.
  1070. An object of some kind falls from outer space and lands 50 feet away.
  1071. Every time you wish upon a star, it turns out to be something else (planet, airplane, etc.)
  1072. You are convinced that you have died and are now in Heaven.
  1073. Every time you masturbate, your vision degrades a little more, and hairs start growing from your palms.
  1074. You experience a strong sense of preja vu soon.
  1075. You now have the ability to transfer wounds and illness from other people to yourself through skin to skin contact.
  1076. A number of moths seems to follow you around at night (but they don't follow you into buildings, except perhaps for 1 or 2 occasionally).
  1077. Your little sister went missing back when you were kids. Everything was normal, but when you awoke she was gone. Every trace that she ever existed disappeared with her, and no one remembers her. But you do. You promised you'd never forget. It's been years, but now you've started getting cryptic letters, and incomprehensible phone calls that you kow must be her...\
  1078. You fall madly, hopelessly, tragically in love with the next person you meet. You will stalk them, try to make them yoursd and when they eventually refuse you, your despair will consume you until you see them with another person ....
  1079. The next person of the other sex you meet will fall madly, hopelessly, tragically in love with you.
  1080. You wake up to find the mafia has put your own head beside you in the bed.
  1081. You find a small door inside your home, scarely two inches tall. When you open it, you find a mouse warren made out of a doll house with the mice all dressed up in human clothes and the father mouse reading a scrap of the paper and smoking a bit of leftover cigarette butt at the table. He sees you, and calls out: "It's the embleer eye again! I SAID it was real!"
  1082. Your fingers turn to weasels on occasion. You need to catch them before they turn back.
  1083. Your fingers turn into chicken mcnuggets on occasion. You need to eat them quickly and they'll grow back the next time you try and go to the washroom.
  1084. You become one with a tome of ancient magick.
  1085. Everyone at the local Piggly-Wiggly is turned into swine.
  1086. Your robot is defective.
  1087. You no longer remember anyone's name, even if they told it to you a moment ago or have it written down. On the bright side, you never forget a face.
  1088. They grow much faster than bamboo; look out, or they'll come after you.
  1089. You no longer cast a shadow.
  1090. Your shadow is a strange, distorted monstrous thing. People who believe that a person's shadow reflects their soul will be terrified of you.
  1091. You develop a drinking problem... like Ted Stryker.
  1092. Everything in your freezer thaws and comes to life.
  1093. You randomly become completely inaudible.
  1094. Dogs are no longer your best friend. In fact, they actively try and bite you for no apparently reason.
  1095. A harem of nublie young virgins appears from out of nowhere. They claim to be loyal to you.
  1096. Every night you seek out a prostitute and have sex. The next day, at home, you see on the news that someone stabbed them to death that night.
  1097. Tonight, you will be visited by a succubus/incubus. Not the demonic-looking kind, the classic "invisible form raping you at night" kind.
  1098. You believe your child is a Changeling. It's why they keep enticing you with their sexual wiles.
  1099. When you go to sleep at night, your consciousness leaves your body and temporarily becomes an invisible succubus or incubus. You force yourself sexually on someone you know (different people each night). You only retain fuzzy half-memories of these events after waking.
  1100. You learn that you are a Changeling. You never noticed the pointy ears all this while.
  1101. Every night, thanks to the wish you sold your soul for, you have sex with Helen of Troy. And every night, she leaves more rotting bits behind.
  1102. You slowly turn into a mime.
  1103. You believe you are the reincarnation of an obscure peasant who wasn'r famous at all. Sometimes you remember what the cities smelled like back then, and are very thankful you live in the modern world.
  1104. You wake up every morning remembering how you're going to die that day. If you avoid it, you wake up the next morning knowing how you will die that day ...
  1105. You believe you are the reincarnation of yourself. It's rather confusing, and makes you doubt the linearity of time.
  1106. Your inner child somehow gains corporeal form. You have the same soul, so if either of you is killed or hurt or feels pleasure, so does the other.
  1107. You die, and are reincarnated as a beaver. Dam it.
  1108. Occasionally, you live days out of order. (For instance, you go to bed Tuesday, and wake up on Thursday. The next day, you're in the Wednesday that you missed. But it can get worse than that, too.)
  1109. You die, and are reincarnated as your father.
  1110. You die, and are reincarnated as your mother.
  1111. You die, and are reincarnated as a worm in your rotting corpse. Fun.
  1112. You kill a bug, and then realize that the bug was reincarnated as you.
  1113. You start bilocating.
  1114. From this moment forth see throught the clothing of any woman you look at - as long as they are over 80.
  1115. You turn into a sphere of floating energy.
  1116. You smell worse after you shower or bathe.
  1117. Your long-lost bastard sister shows up.
  1118. If you are every a parent, your child will be Hans the Hedgehog.
  1119. You feel inclined to dress up in some sort of outrageous costume all the time, and get extremely into character.
  1120. Whenever things get interesting, you are compelled to go home to do math.
  1121. You switch bodies with people when you make love with them.
  1122. Everytime you say you say you don't believe in fairies, you hear one of them die.
  1123. You will be visited by two men with German accents, one short and one tall, in outlandish outfits.
  1124. You start finding power-ups and Extra Lives around the place. You also start dying a lot more often from spiky pits and the like.
  1125. Other people can leave their bodies to possess you, at will.
  1126. The world turns black-and-white. Some people notice.
  1127. To counter the rise in juvenile delinquency, a travelling salesman tries to sell the town on the idea of a boy's band.
  1128. You have been infested with alien nanites.
  1129. To counter the rise of sin, a travelling salesman offers to sell a town a boy's hand that will prevent young men from being naughty.
  1130. You are inducted into an fraternity with a dark and terrible secret.
  1131. You become extremely uncomfortable whenever you're not barefoot.
  1132. The next time you die, you wake up in the morgue with the attendant doing ratrher gruesome things to your corpse that involve naked bodies and lube.
  1133. You're dead, and you don't even know it. Your friends and neighboors think you're haunting them, for some bizarre reason.
  1134. You know the OPPOSITE of someone's innermost secrets when you look at them, but you don't know that!
  1135. You become convinced you are just a character in a game and that nothing matters and your life and death have no meaning at all. You try and tell everyone else this, but no one listens.
  1136. You become a chibi anime magical girl under the light of the full moon, and lose all control of your character.
  1137. You are a were human. under the full moon, you change into another person.
  1138. You are a reverse-werewolf. You turn into a rampaging monster under the full sun. Enjoy.
  1139. No one can tell you they love you.
  1140. You can find Carcosa on any map.
  1141. You are taken in by a linguist who has made a bet to pass you off as nobility at the next debutante ball.
  1142. You and you alone know what Gilligan's Island was really about.
  1143. Your entire family is revealed to be Cthulhu worshippers.
  1144. Your entire family is revealed to be Elvis worshippers.
  1145. Some people in the area now have eerie glowing eyes. Some other people notice.
  1146. The apartment complex that burned down last week is there again. No one remarks on it.
  1147. You are transported to Bellona, a la Dhalgren.
  1148. You can never remember what you ate yesterday, but sometimes you remember what you'll eat tomorrow.
  1149. Several people comment that your eyes have changed color. But they were always like that... weren't they?
  1150. Whenever you cry, you'e tears turn into crystals.People beat you often, perhaps because of this. Sometimes they say they love you. Sometimes just because it gets them more tears.
  1151. You dream in color.
  1152. You never dream your own dreams.
  1153. You can see in the dark now, but you can no longer see in color.
  1154. The face on every clock seems to be laughing at you.
  1155. Your cheeks are like roses, your nose like a cherry. Scratch-and-sniff, you know?
  1156. Every watch you wear begins running backwards.
  1157. You were a cabbage patch kid.
  1158. You are always sober and clear-headed, no matter what drugs you take or how much you drink.
  1159. You will die of a reality overdose.
  1160. You find a baby in a cabbage patch. If you don't take it in, it keeps showing up on your doorstep and other places...
  1161. Your cat gives birth to a litter of six kittens. If you don't give at least one away each day, the cat gives birth to another six.
  1162. You know that everyone is laughing at you, never with you.
  1163. Whenever you pick up a phone, even if it didn't ring, you answer a call.
  1164. Whenever you enjoy drinking, smoking, and other "vice" you will slowly turn into a donkey, a la Pleasure Island. The effects will fade over the course of a week or so.
  1165. You continually get calls from yourself on your cellphone whenever the reception is bad. You can never make out what you're saying, but you seem to be screaming.
  1166. Everyone who calls you hangs up on you when they realize it's you.
  1167. Flowers start growing out of your ears.
  1168. Gravity forgets you exist everytime you scream in fear. This lasts for 3 seconds.
  1169. Everyone says you sound different over the phone. Like some European supermodel, actually.
  1170. A stork delivers a baby.
  1171. Whenever you are scared, someone else in the room wets his or her pants.
  1172. Whenever you wet your pants it looks like a rorschach diagram.
  1173. You occasionally get messages on your answering machine and/or voicemail a day before the person would actually leave it. (If you don't answer the call when they actually make it, they'll leave the same message again.)
  1174. You get tomorrow's newspaper, for a week.
  1175. You voicemail or answering machine greeting has been changed to a rude, angry one. It's your voice, but you don't recally changing it.
  1176. You voicemail or answering machine greeting has been changed to a stupid, silly one. It's your voice, but you don't recally changing it.
  1177. You are entirely incapacble of noticing any spelling mistakes in anything you write or type, but other people will find several when they read it. You'll see the mistakes if they point them out to you, but you feel certain they weren't there before.
  1178. You see other people's names floating over their heads at all times. If they commonly go by something other than their real name, that's the name you see.
  1179. When you put your ear up to a sea shell, you hear the ocean... as well as all the other sounds present when the Titanic sunk.
  1180. You no longer laugh. Instead, you say things such as "LOL" and "ROFL" (phonetically, not the letters).
  1181. Whenever you would utter something like "Oh God" or "Jesus Christ!" you instead utter the name of a random uncommon diety, either 'real' or fictional.
  1182. Whenever you say the Lord's name in vain, the Lord appears next to you as if summoned.
  1183. Whenever you say the Lord's name in vain, you are struck by lighting. It won't kill you, but it'll hurt like Hell.
  1184. A band of friendly elves make you a fine pair of shoes.
  1185. You remember you are dust: to dust you shall return.
  1186. You can now control sand, and can become it to avoid damage. However, this won't work unless you are completely dehydrated and dry.
  1187. Everyone you know has stigmata except you. It's why you have to fake your own.
  1188. You will soon discover you are a direct descendant of Jesus Christ. This may or may not give you special abilities, but it will definately cause problems as those "in the know" in religious circles will also find out. Most dangerous of all, the Catholic Church.
  1189. You find an ad in the local paper that reads: 'Undead seekiing victim. Tired of playing games, being decapitared, and stabbed in the heart. Buffy wannabes need not apply. Must BYOBT (Bring Your Own Blood Test)'. ... you do not have to reply.
  1190. God has mercy on your soul.
  1191. Everyone thinks you just had an abortion. They don't know you took it home, and shared it with your husband. This is the third time. You've found you like them better rare.
  1192. Your nose starts to glow a bright red. Beware of the fat man's sack.
  1193. People you've never met file restraining orders against you.
  1194. You, as yourself and not your character, find yourself suddenly standing by the side of the New Jersey Turnpike.
  1195. You believe you are destined to be the Last Man On Earth. You just wish it was possible to reverse a vasectomy
  1196. You count the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike.
  1197. You walk off to look for America.
  1198. Every road you walk down leads somewhere you've never been before.
  1199. Where have all the tacos gone?!?
  1200. The blue mule attacks!!!
  1201. You have a run-in with a fantastical performing circus bear!
  1202. You become omnipotent; what you say literally happens. What you don't know is it will only last five minutes.
  1203. Every thing you think of becomes real.
  1204. Everything you touch turns to gold.
  1205. Every woman you look at knows what you really like about them.
  1206. You turn into a wooden puppet.
  1207. Your soul was stolen by a little green man. You know it was Kermit. And you know what will happen if They every leave the Street.
  1208. Two nuns are taking a bath. The first one says, "Please pass the soap." The second replies, "What do I look like, a radio?"
  1209. An angry mob is after you.
  1210. You can only speak in a programming language, without using GOTO.
  1211. A mildly annoyed (but not quite angry) mob is after you.
  1212. Everytime you masturbe, an angel gets something a LOT better than some silly wings.
  1213. You are now on a caffeine high.
  1214. You suddenly break out in hives all over your body.
  1215. You suddenly break out in bee hives over all your body.
  1216. You like disco. 'nuff said.
  1217. You are kidnapped and sold into slavery in some foreign country.
  1218. You are kidnapped and sold into slavery in some alternate dimension.
  1219. You believe the truth is Out There - so you never leave your house.
  1220. You grow several long eye-stalks.
  1221. When you listen to the radio you hear air raid sirens.
  1222. You live in a cardboard box.
  1223. You have an increased libido, but lose the ability to climax from masturbation. When you climax during sex, if you have a penis, it injects your partner with acids which rapidly liquify their innards, and then sucks the resulting goo out, feeding you. If you have a vagina, it uncontrollably clamps down on your partner, and then draws them inside of you (you stretch to accomodate). They will be fully digested in about 6 hours.
  1224. You can see another color. It looks like some sort of fluorescent greenish-yellow purple.
  1225. You are kidnapped and sold into slavery by aliens.
  1226. You are kidnapped and made a pet by aliens.
  1227. Every time you give a bum spare change, you get karma.
  1228. It's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God!
  1229. You will travel by zeppelin.
  1230. You find yourself on board the Titanic.
  1231. As your bride walks down the aisle, you realise you don't have the ring, and you probably left it in the stripper's bra.
  1232. You get married. It's a shotgun wedding.
  1233. When you next have sex, at climax your partner will spit out some semen-like fluid and pass out. They are fuzed to you, will shrink and reshape becoming an 8" working penis (replacing yours or extending from your clitoris) in 6 hours. Their mind is still there and you can sense it. You can concentrate and make it temporarily take on human features like a face, speech, and tiny arms. If seperated from you, it will die.
  1234. You now have a Tentacle Monster as an invisible friend. He's very 'friendly.'
  1235. Whenever you think romantic thoughts about someone, the two of you wind up sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i...
  1236. You now have Adolf Hitler as an invisible friend. He's always trying to convince you to take up his cause. You only wish you couldn't speak German.
  1237. Your nose grows an inch whenever you tell a lie. Only the blood of virgins can keep this effect at bay.
  1238. King Kong grabs you and climbs with you in his hand to the top of the Empire State Building.
  1239. You can now see the invisible friends of other people. The more they believe in them, the clearer and more detailed they appear.
  1240. You meet a version of yourself from the future, but you promptly die just as you're about to give yourself a dreadfully important message.
  1241. You can only fall asleep while hanging upside-down.
  1242. Your daydreams and irrational fears spill over into reality.
  1243. Your senses of sight and hearing switch their respective input, loud noises blind you and bright light deafen you.
  1244. You can only fall asleep while inside a coffin or other similarly cramped space.
  1245. You are now infected with sentient lice. They will eventually try to establish communication... unless, of course, you've been trying to exterminate them. In that case, they'll be very unhappy with you.
  1246. You can only fall asleep while mostly submerged in water.
  1247. You can only fall asleep while lying naked on the ground outdoors.
  1248. You find that you only weigh one-tenth of what you ought to, given your height and build. You're still just as strong and tough, but can be thrown around a lot more readily.
  1249. You only require 2 hours of continuous sleep to become fully rested. Unfortunately, you always have ubeliveably horrific nightmares.
  1250. Strange stuffed animals and dolls show up at your house for tea every Saturday. If you don't appease them by playing along, they will do very bad things to your friends, relatives, and worldly possessions.
  1251. You constantly feel a heavy weight on you, equal to the weight of all material possessions you own at the time. It won't physically injure you, but it can make it difficult and tiring to move around.
  1252. Every living thing you kill will be reincarnated as a tape worm inside your digestive tract. When you die, they will all finally move on.
  1253. When you sing in the shower, your voice is like that of an angel.
  1254. Every Sunday, you find yourself transported into the life of an eight-year-old little girl. You will turn back on Monday, but only if you've been a good girl for Mommy and behaved and paid attention in church and played nicely with the other children. Otherwise you're stuck for the next week.
  1255. You are incapable of singing along to any song that wasn't on Sesame Street. On the other hard, you know every one that was by heart, and they tend to run through your mind.
  1256. Every Saturday, you and your doll switch places, and she plays a game of Tea Party with you. When it's over, you switch back.
  1257. You are now a young, attractive, naked girl, and you find that you suddenly can only speak, write, read and understand a language that's not English.
  1258. The next doll or stuffed animal you touch that is owned by a child, you wake up as the following day. You cannot move or speak when seen by adults, and recording devices won't register you. You are trapped like this until the child who owns you is dead.
  1259. You will turn into a cute little doll every Saturday. You will stay that way until someone plays Tea-Party with you.
  1260. You wish you were an Oscar-Meyer weiner.
  1261. Your eyes grow much larger, and your mouth shrinks. Your eyebrows are now visible through your hairline.
  1262. Your brain falls out when you're not paying attention. Someone is kind enough to return it, though.
  1263. All lost pets in the area somehow end up at your house.
  1264. Someone puts up fliers announcing that they found a Lost Soul (in the same way they might do for finding a cat or dog). You recognize it as your own, but when you try to contact them, it seems they have moved away and left no forwarding address.
  1265. You and three other people in the area turn into a Troll, a Naked Chick, a Frenchman and a Large Crossbow!
  1266. You are suddenly convinced you can write a great novel, but it turns out to be a poorly written, blatant Tolkien ripoff. You go on to write 13 more.
  1267. You buy a point of Knowledge (OOC).
  1268. When you end up in traction following the accident, you emerge from the cast as a butterfly.
  1269. You've seen this movie. The black guy dies first.
  1270. You see your whole life mapped out before you, a contstant struggle to remember what you already know.
  1271. You have been cursed with the ability to see your own future, and know that getting old is just the decline of limitless possibilities. Every day, the things you can do and be become narrower ....
  1272. You are conviced that you're the reincarnation of Hitler's goldfish when he was 6 years old and plan to write a tell all book about him.
  1273. You found the real third secret of Fatima in your mailbox. You don't know who sent it, or what to do with it, but you can't forget it no matter how hard you try.
  1274. You know that the dark stranger was really a Man In Black, and you are watching out for his alien masters, the Watchtowers.
  1275. Your breath always reeks of garlic, no matter what you eat.
  1276. You are now drunk.
  1277. You are now drunk... with POWER!!!!!
  1278. in bed.
  1279. You meet your echo.
  1280. You meet Echo. (The nymph!)
  1281. Zeus seduces you in the form a white bull or something. Hera is quite upset.
  1282. Your head shrinks by about fifty percent.
  1283. Your connection is reset by Peer.
  1284. A steamroller lands on you. Somehow it's not fatal...
  1285. You die. Somehow, it's not fatal.
  1286. Your shoelaces always tie themselves
  1287. Your shoelaces always tie themselves. Together.
  1288. Whenever you recieve spam online, a can of the pink substance appears somewhere in your home.
  1289. You go blind.
  1290. People around ev'ry corner, they seem to smile and say: We don't care what your name is, boy, we'll never turn you away!
  1291. You feel compelled to snatch candy away from babies.
  1292. Whenever someone mentions "San Francisco", flowers grow in your hair.
  1293. My mother gave me the nickname "Johnny Boy", which really made me angry.
  1295. Food is ammunition. Don't waste it! Buy wisely- Cook carefully - Eat it all!
  1296. You meet Sara.
  1297. You turn into Sara.
  1298. You are framed for a crime you committed in a dream.
  1299. You gain telepathy. What you don't know is that everyone can hear your conversations.
  1300. You kill one of Santa's elves. The others are coming after you, and it's not to put goal in your stocking,...
  1301. You wake to find a gun in your pocket and a woman in your car. Your car TRUNK, that is. Uh-oh...
  1302. You wake to find a gun in your pocket, and your body in the trunk of your car.
  1303. Your entire family is replaced by exact replicas.
  1304. All of your actions are decided by a trilateral committe..... inside your head. You are the chair of the committee.
  1305. As you were going down the stair, you met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today: my God, you wish he'd go away.
  1306. Your mind can only think in rhyme. You find it happens all the time.
  1307. Det er ikke registert noe stot. Platelageret er i drift.
  1308. You are a donkey, dressed up as a 12-year-old girl.
  1309. Every night the baby (you/your gf) had aborted claws at your bedroom window, wanting to come back inside, and keeps telling you its cold, and you're so very warm ....
  1310. That's gross.
  1311. The man who wasn't there mugs you at least once a week.
  1312. You become convinced you live in a yellow submarine. No one can convince you otherwise.
  1313. Your are blinded by No-Man.
  1314. You now live on Desolation Row. Enjoy.
  1315. The invisible friend you had a child comes back, wanting revenge for your having forgotten all about them... and, slowly, all your real friends begin to die.
  1316. I swear you did that before.
  1317. The girl you had a crush on in grade 8 shows up at your doorstep and hasn't aged a day.
  1318. You no longer exist on Mondays.
  1319. You are being carried in a handbasket. It is getting warmer.
  1320. Hell freezes over.
  1321. Pigs fly.
  1322. Your invisible friend shows up on your doorstep, only not invisible anymore.
  1323. Every time someone says your name you get a migraine.
  1324. You are chemically addicted to lactose.
  1325. Your name suddenly changes to whatever Sparkie says when you !generate.
  1326. Type !generate. This is now your name. All records show it, and everyone who knows you remembers it as having always been your name.
  1327. The next time you wish upon a star, the wish becomes true for the person you hate most in all the world (not including you :p)
  1328. Catnip is a potent drug for you.
  1329. You become addicted to country music and must listen to (or sing) it for ten hours every day.
  1330. Your head now grows marijuana dreadlocks instead of hair.
  1331. Whenever someone rings a doorbell, you can hear dogs barking loudly.
  1332. The pitch of your voice shifts to the point where only dogs can hear it.
  1333. Whenever you drink tap water, you hear the voices of drowned goldfish.
  1334. The next word you speak becomes real.
  1335. You develop cat-like urges. Catnip is a potent drug for you.
  1336. You no longer remember your life before you were 10 years old. But you have this really cool clock in your bedroom now that's just missing hands.
  1337. The next fact you state becomes false. If it was true, the universe changes to make you wrong.
  1338. You grow a third eye somewhere on your body.
  1339. Your car becomes a perpetual motion machine.
  1340. Growing a Third Eye wasn't hard. It's the other eyes opening up all over you that are scaring you, showing you things.... wondrous, terrible things .....
  1341. When your sister asks you to wind her up, she's not using a metaphor ...
  1342. You lose the ability to feel time pass normally. 5 minutes can feel like 2 hours to you, or you can check your watch 30 seconds later to find that 3 hours have passed. It gets especially bad when you're alone.
  1343. Kitties are cute.
  1344. Animals act as if you don't really exist.
  1345. You are no longer old enough to vote.
  1346. The Grim Reaper is now your roommate. He always pays his share of the rent on time, but always in coins that smell like corpses.
  1347. The next time you run with scissors will be the last time you do anything ever again.
  1348. The babies are restless.
  1349. You have a stalker. It's the one person you'd never suspect.
  1350. Everyone you meet becomes convinced you have sex with small animals after talking to you for over two minutes.
  1351. You're actually the evil twin of a doppleganger of a clone of a shapeshifter who mimics you.
  1352. You have your period (only applies to males).
  1353. You used to cut yourself to relieve the pain, but now your cuts are talking to you....
  1354. When you have your period, you turn into a ravenous half-beast monster, and not just your attitude.
  1355. Your favourite TV show is cancelld, but it still runs new episodes just for you.
  1356. Squirrels are always trying to eat your toenails.
  1357. The 6 o'clock news always plays at 5 pm now. No one else seems to notice this.
  1358. A hibernating polar bear is sleeping on your bed.
  1359. You hibernate for the winter.
  1360. You migrate to a warmer climate for the winter.
  1361. Your father has been swallowed by a whale. He'll be fine, though.
  1362. When you stick your finger into your bellybutton, it seems to go on forever. Sometimes you think you see stars in it.
  1363. The Big Bad Wolf will soon knock on your front door and ask to be let in. If you refuse, you'd better hope your house is wind-proof.
  1364. You can now escape from handcuffs, but only if you're also in a straight jacket and chained upside down inside a trunk under water.
  1365. You find a Choose Your Own Adventure book, and it's your life ... only, the pages aren't numbered and half of them are blank, but you get some idea of who else you could have been ...
  1366. Your cellphone only works when it's turned off.
  1367. The worms go in, the worms go out, the worms play pinochle on your snout
  1368. People you've never heard of keep leaving you text messages, and they all seem to know you.
  1369. You find a magic 8-ball that can predict the future, but it only gives you confusing, nonspecific answers to your questions, and never a definate Yes or No.
  1370. Someone keeps leaving you text messages in Esperanto.
  1371. The next time you carve your name and someone else's into a tree, they will fall in love with you.
  1372. The next time you fall in love with someone, you will turn into a tree. That person will soon come and carve their initials in you, along with someone else's. You will never see them again, but you'll eventually change back. The carving is now a tattoo.
  1373. The rain never falls on you.
  1374. Everything you drink tastes like chocolate milk.
  1375. It's raining money. The world economy will collapse if it keeps up.
  1376. Your blood is now green. Your ears, however, remain the same.
  1377. You grow a spare of every internal organ other than your brain.
  1378. Your skeleton is now made of metal. It's still as strong as before, but it's susceptible to magnetics and sets off metal detectors.
  1379. Clothing of any kind gives you a horrible rash.
  1380. You wake up in the drunk tank of the local police station every morning.
  1381. The RIAA raids your home for illegal games and CDs.
  1382. There is now a small Power button at the base of your skull.
  1383. The next online affair you have will be with your mother, but neither of you will known until it's too late.
  1384. Young children will hit on you constantly.
  1385. Every time a child sits on your lap, you know what they would ask Santa for Christmas.
  1386. You feel compelled to skate around on rollerblades,wear a baseball cap, and hit people over the head with a bent baseball bat whenever they feel trapped by something.
  1387. No one can tell you how to get to Sesame Street.
  1388. Everyone knows where Shell Beach is, but no one can get there.
  1389. You were never abducted by aliens, even though that's what you told everyone.
  1390. There has never been a coincidence in your entire life.
  1391. You get someone else's cellphone messages forwarded to yours every day, and it's a different person each day.
  1392. You are damned because you once swore to God that you'd never eat a hot dog again. And you did, with a bun, only remembering too late your broken vow....
  1393. You know that the gods are within us, and that we are poor masters of the gods, and of ourselves.
  1394. You know you no longer love her, but you know she still loves you.
  1395. Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies, you get another grey hair.
  1396. Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies, you die.
  1397. Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies, you turn into one.
  1398. Everyone you meet knows your name.
  1399. Everyone you meet knows his or her own name.
  1400. Whenever you try to speak with a random person you don't know more than once, they simply repeat what the said the first time.
  1401. Whenever you kiss someone you can read their mind. You ... don't kiss anyone, anymore.
  1402. Your realize you have forgotten your duck.
  1403. You occasionally faint. When you awake, if someone asks you what happened, you respond that it was "Ping Timeout" or a "Broken Pipe" or that you were "Reset by Peer."
  1404. In Soviet Russia, bitch slaps you!
  1405. You trtied to tell her how you felt, but you couldn't find words. Just the knife, and it made such sweet noises for you as you told her again, and again, and again. You were shocked the next morning, but not as much as when she returned home, saying she'd been out all night, acting as if you'd never killed her for the love you can't express.
  1406. You have flashbacks even though you never took LSD. Each time, they become clearer, more meaningful - more real.
  1407. You died. You remember it, and being told you are in heaven. Only nothing had changed and no one seems to know they have wings and you're too scared to try and fly.
  1408. You wake up believing you can conjure quarters by looking for them, and prove this by walking outside and finding the quarters you have 'conjured'
  1409. You believe the cure to AIDS resides in firing all the helpers.
  1410. Only you know that hamburgers are made from human babies, the patties from human buttocks.Because you sold your brother to the chickens, for five bucks. And every time you see a child's face on a 'Missing' sign, something in you cringes.
  1411. The toothfairy comes to you, and pulls out some teeth. She brings a crowbar, and pliars, and she's plastered. Tooth fairies are mean drunks, it seems.
  1412. When you were six, your invisible friend killed your mother. Everyonr blamed you, and you got locked up. Jimmy is still out there, somewhere, and you know he'll strike again. It's why you never go home, because even thbough you want your father to die, no one would blame Jimmy.
  1413. When you were eight, your invisible friend killed your father. He got your mother two years ago. Now you've escaped from prison, and you've got vengeance on the mind. Jimmy, wherever the little bastard is, is going to pay.
  1414. When you were 10, the men in black came and beat up Jimmy, making sure you forgot him. But Jimmy is back, and he wants to be your best friend, your only friend. All your other friends are dying, and Jimmy is waiting for you to believe again ....
  1415. You and your invisible friend switch places. Jimmy is inhabiting your body. But.. you have his Power.
  1416. You've been told that, if you Believe hard enough, your invisible friend will come to life. You're trying, so hard, because you want to beat his faggotty ass for getting you inot so much trouble.
  1417. One by one, your friends are turning into invisible friends... people are starting to ask questions.
  1418. You keep seeing the aliens, attached to people's backs. Every time they feel something, the alien feeds. Every time we tell a lie, they get stronger. When is the last time you felt anything real? Anything they didn't plant? When is the last time you had a thought that wasn't there to feed them?
  1419. Following your near death autoerotic asphyxiation experience, you believe that every time you masturbate, God kills a baby. But you're raw from trying to keep up with the breeders. There are so many of them, and only one of you. But you know yor duty.
  1420. Everything pink becomes blue, but only for you.
  1421. You know that love is the only thing worth living for, and everytime we fall in love we refute entropy, if only for a little while. Once we stop loving, the universe will end.
  1422. No one knows what holds the universe together, except you.
  1423. You develop opposable thumbs on your feet.
  1424. You believe the Fall was really about sin, and the angels never forgave humans for choosing heterosexuality.
  1425. You believe you were given a sex change operation against your will.
  1426. The clowns are back. But, in some way, they never went away - did they?
  1427. The last time you were really happy was when grandma died, because you got to wear nice clothing, and mom and dad didn't beat you that day, and even fed you.
  1428. Every war is fought with army ants. We just see people because we like it better that way.
  1429. Every war is fought with wooden soldiers. We just see people because we like it better that way.
  1430. There are no mute people. There are no deaf peope. They're just elistist telepaths who can't be bothered to talk to the REAL dumb people.
  1431. For some reason, complete strangers know your name, and tend to talk to you about events you don't remember, places you never were. But they know you so very well....
  1432. You know the Second Coming has been delayed. You were in the psyvch ward, when they brought Him in. You knew who He was, even if everyone else didn't. You know the treatments they gave Him, the terribly things they did with drugs. You're afraid Jesus IS the antichrist, now, but no one believes you.
  1433. You once had sex with your guardian angel. Now she doesn't protect you, and you wonder why.
  1434. Hitler won world war two. No one believes this, but you see it in the way we treat the gifted people. Yoiu know he won the real war, in the world of ideas. You know eugenics is here to stay, because of the way the doctors look at you...
  1435. Someone you know claims to have perfected time travel, and then disappears. The next day, you find their picture appearing in a historical photograph from 50 years ago.
  1436. Someone you know claims to have perfected time travel, and then disappears. The next day, you find their picture appearing in a historical photograph from 500 years ago.
  1437. You believe that an insane fire elemental is controlling your destiny.
  1438. You believe that humanity would become truly enlightened if they just broke some wall or four down...
  1439. God hates you, and tells you that every morning when you listen to the news.
  1440. For the next 24 hours, you can cause others to suffer surges by sheer will alone.
  1441. For the next 24 hours, your life is televised.
  1442. For the next 24 hours, you turn intangible.
  1443. You forget to breathe, only to find out you don't have to.
  1444. For a second, you remember seeing attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, and watching C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. But only for a second.
  1445. For a brief moment, you understand the true nature of the universe, but before you can do anything about it, it fades away to nothing.
  1446. You suddenly understand the nature and purpose of the universe, but it is then replaced by something even more inexplicable.
  1447. For a moment, you understand how everything is connected, how every action MATTERS. You become paralysed with indecison as to whether you should put the toilet seat down or leave it up.
  1448. When you die, you come back as a zombie. All you want is to hug your friends one more time.... but.. they don't seem to understand..
  1449. Zombies burst out of the earth around you, but all you want to do is dance. For some reason, the zombies feel the same way.
  1450. Everytime you do the moonwalk, gravity ignores you just a little bit.
  1451. Your hair and eyes switch places.
  1452. You turn into a magical pretty princess with a ridiculously high-pitched squeaky voice.
  1453. You are accosted by a necomancer.
  1454. You discover an entry in Wikipedia about you trying to assassinate a US senator.
  1455. You could swear you see catears and tails on random passers by...
  1456. You believe God is talking to you through stuffed animals and dictating His last will and testament.
  1457. You know they are waiting, in the dark. Waiting for you, because of the camp you set up, because so many of them died because of you. You know the Barbies *do* want to party, only it's with your corpse, and you're sorry, but it can't ever be enough because you melted them, and let the dog eat them....
  1458. You fall in love with the next person you meet.
  1459. A passing Fae turns you into a neuter.
  1460. You turn into a Transformer! (robots in disguise! ./~)
  1461. A pretty blue magical pony princess (with jade hair and amesthyst eyes) can Meld with you and has taken up residence there.
  1462. The whites of your eyes turn blue.
  1463. Your magic can take a human form. It wants to date you.
  1464. You meet the avatar of an ancient and powerful goddess. It wants to date you.
  1465. You meet a small, inconsequential mammal. It wants to date you.
  1466. Every morning you wake up with a new haircut. Somtimes it's horrible bag over your head cuts, but at least you have comfort in that you, alone of all the masses, won't really go bald during chemo.
  1467. The sun always seems to be a smiley face to you. No one else notices this.
  1468. Your clothes meld with your skin.
  1469. You are now wearing a blue dress. It has melded with your skin and will never come off.
  1470. You are now wearing a chastity belt. ... it molests you periodically.
  1471. You get an ipod that captures radio waves; after two days, it will only play those songs and no other medium in the world will anymore.
  1472. You wake and someone has re-drawn the world in crayon.
  1473. Baliadoc is absent again, so the game is postponed.
  1474. You keep seeing someone with a knife out of the corner of your eye, but they're never there when you turn around - at least, not yet.
  1475. Your youngest child/sibling is replaced by a doll and no one says anything out of vague embarrassment
  1476. You're now a unibrow. People start mistaking you for a werewolf.
  1477. You cry yourself to sleep each night no matter what it takes to cause the tears, knowing that once your pillow is soaked full the magic will come and take you to a better world.
  1478. Every time you sneeze, a fairy dies.
  1479. Your pizza always arrives 5 minutes after you order it.
  1480. Your pizza always arrives 5 minutes before you were going to order it.
  1481. The orcs turn pink for an hour.
  1482. The skin of everyone in the room turns an intense blue color for at least the next day.
  1483. All color drains from your skin. The effect extends to anything you wear or carry for more than a few minutes, but it will fade back over the space of a few hours.
  1484. You get the feeling that if you ever walk down a spiral staircase, something terrible will happen to you shortly thereafter.
  1485. Everywhere you go, you see it: the swing from your backyard, when you were seven. It's fire engine red still, almost as bright as memory, but no one is every swinging on it. It's just there - hanging from trees, power lines, street lights. It's waiting for you, for one last ride.
  1486. The cricket bats will beat you down for saying they aren't real.
  1487. Every night the crickets serenade you, the king of their lost kingdom.
  1488. You are slapped around a bit with the Eiffel Tower.
  1489. Paris (the personification of the city) shows up to try and seduce you.
  1490. Over a hundred angry ninjas with Uzis and rocket launchers arrive at your house (to fix the cable).
  1491. World War II combat bats with packages of napalm attached (on a timer) begin starting fires in random buildings.
  1492. You taste like chocolate.
  1493. You have a sticker on your head. It won't come off.
  1494. Your hair is not yours. It's a sentient creature that lives on you. You know this to be true.
  1495. Your hair is not yours. It belongs to the kid next door. She can change its color or style on a whim with her mind powers.
  1496. The Computer is Your Friend.
  1497. You are surrounded by commie mutant traitors. Despite total lack of evidence, you know this to be true.
  1498. "It's not true! I'd never skim any strangle kelp off the top of the stacks here. One might be tempted to, though, considering that it's practically a panacea of utilitaian usefulness. *COUGH*"
  1499. Whenever anyone smiles at you, you can read their minds. You now go out of your way to make sure no one smiles at you ever again.
  1500. Your tongue is now furry.
  1501. Every time you speak people are drawn to your voice, to the beauty of it, captivated ... but they never recall what you actually say.
  1502. Every time you go to bed, you wake up with a dead cat, neck broken, in the bed beside you. It's always a different cat, and always looks so very shocked. . . . Your wife has left you.
  1503. Every fifteen minutes or so, you blurt out a line from a quote from Sparkie's quotefile.
  1504. You meet Time. She throws a temper tantrum.
  1505. You can't kill insects. Each time you do, they come back to life.
  1506. You become pregnant. When the child is born it's a clone of Alicia.
  1507. You can walk into the mirror, and go to the other side. If the mirror is pointed at something else, the place where you go becomes that place. If the mirror is covered or it is dark, you can't come out.
  1508. The party spends the next week or so trapped in the bodies of eight-year-old girls.
  1509. Your voice takes on a wonderfully enchanting, lyrical quality. Unfortunately, it also becomes about five octaves higher.
  1510. You are slowly taking on the appearance of your little sister's favorite old-fashioned doll from childhood.
  1511. A young girl grows out of your forehead! You try to explain this to your wife, who thinks you cheated on her. She is not as stupid as Hera, and doesn't believe your story.
  1512. You suddenly have a junk food craving for bullets.
  1513. You no longer have dreams. Just visits from the short, bald man who smiles at you so gently, and takes them away to sell them on ebay. He's promises you a cut, but you feeo so, so empty, and there's nothing to fill the void with except the cutting, and the pain....
  1514. You find that you're exactly the right size to fit in whatever clothing you try to put on. Even if it's doll-sized...
  1515. Baliadoc is absent again, so the game is postponed. If only you knew who Baliadoc was, or which game....
  1516. You suddenly feel intensely and inexplicably afraid of a woman called "Faline". Who is that, anyway?
  1517. A telepathic butterfly rewrites part of your mind.
  1518. Every night you dream about them, terrified. Your shrink says: "You are just afraid of mice", says: "it's just projecting" but you know what really goes on, who they really are. And, some day, you plan to bring their Magic Kingdom tumbling down...
  1519. Your position is assaulted by pigeon-guided missiles.
  1520. You now know why the caged bird sings.
  1521. I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
  1522. You cannot wear shoes or socks. If you put some on, they will disintegrate over the next several minutes. Fortunately, your feet seem able to withstand being bare.
  1523. You turn into a beautiful princess and become supernaturally sensitive to everything. You can feel a pea through a hundred mattresses. However, if you are dressed in anything less fine than silk it will chafe terribly, and you can only stomach cakes and refined sugar products.
  1524. The next elevator ride you take going down will end in Hell.
  1525. The elevator ride down to Hell will, of course, open up back in the real world. Since where else is Hell, really?
  1526. You are inducted into the Girl Scouts against your will.
  1527. Anyone can tell you what a mammal is - anyone who understands. They're warm-blooded, have hair on their bodies and suckle their young from mammary glands.
  1528. An identical copy of your girlfriend shows up. They both have the same memories, and you can't tell them apart by any means whatsoever. Over the next few days, more of them start showing up, until there are a dozen or so.
  1529. Everyone keeps telling you everything you do is sexist for one reason or another.
  1530. Someone you know turns into a sexist pig (Sus domesticus)
  1531. Your long-distance (boy/girl)friend suddenly shows up at your house, but has no recollection of how he/she got there.
  1532. Your inner child manifests and demands a switchblade and a few hours alone with your parents.
  1533. Your gf breaks up with you, and you find yourself being forced to pay alimony for children you never had - only everyone else seems able to see them.
  1534. It is very dark. Perhaps you have been eaten by a Grue.
  1535. You are now aware that if you say 'xyzzy' you will be instantly be transported to any location of your choosing. Unfortunately, that word is darned hard to pronounce.
  1536. You find all the memories you've lost in a scrapbook in a used-book shop. But the owner is asked you $333 for it...
  1537. An eighth grade girl calls a curse down upon you in the name of the Great Goddess.
  1538. Whenever you cut yourself, the cuts turn into small mouths and begin to talk to everyone you meet.
  1539. You find yourself taking a train ride on the Orient Express.
  1540. Every time you try and swear, you find yourself dashing "dash it", "Darn it" and the like instead.
  1541. Everyone seems to be talking ebonics.
  1542. You develop a strong Irish accent.
  1543. You are haunted by the ghost of Schubert. He is trying to finish his symphony. He does not speak English.
  1544. You befriend a group of fairies. They like posing for pictures, but whenever you take them, they come out looking like a bad Photoshop job, so you never have any proof...
  1545. Your CDs become animated and attempt to roll away out the door.
  1546. You find a magic flute which can be played to soothe a monster of some variety.
  1547. The next time someone asks, "If you like it so much, why don't you marry it?", you do.
  1548. You are married to your work. (It wants a divorce, and alimony.)
  1549. You are visited regularly by various personifications of concepts and ideals. That French chick, Liberty, is kinda hot. . .
  1550. You are stalked by a crazy woman who can turn any man into her willing slave with a touch several times a day.
  1551. You find a fully-functional voodoo doll of someone else in the game.
  1552. You find a fully-functional voodoo doll of yourself.
  1553. You turn into a centaur-like creature, only with the lower body of a deer.
  1554. You somtimes channel ancient and wise oracles. You never hear what they say, though.
  1555. The neighbor's rabbit is missing. And you now have a fluffy bunny-tail.
  1556. Whenever you slam your head on the keyboard, the computer types grandiose prophecies of the future.
  1557. You turn into a gnome.
  1558. You find a novel of your life so far. The first page says "All characters in this novel are completely fictional..."
  1559. You convert to cubism.
  1560. The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.
  1561. You are visited by Rainbow Brite.
  1562. You end up on the Jerry Springer show.
  1563. A local teen writer wannabe is writing you into her next novel. The events she writes are slowly coming true.
  1564. You are attacked by a madman with a slide trombone.
  1565. You learn that a friend is the Earthly incarnation of some nigh-unto-omnipotent deity. However, (s)he can't use any of her powers until (s)he dies.
  1566. You are trapped in a mazed, forced to eat pellets, and chased by ghosts until you eat them all.
  1567. God damn it. More fetuses. The little bastards....
  1568. God damn it. More dicebots. The little bastards.
  1569. All beverages in town turn to Cherry Coke.
  1570. Somone faxes you some innuendo. It tastes just like chicken.
  1571. The dumplings in the frozen food section whisper to you, calling your name, enticing you. It's just like the children used to, so you buy and eat them. Just like the children, even though you promised God you never would again....
  1572. You can become a two-dimensional illustration and enter posters or paintings or pictures in books, and explore the worlds within. You can take others with you... and leave them stuck there.
  1573. You keep finding fortune-cookie fortunes in a variety of containers and foodstuffs.
  1574. Radiation that causes you to lose all your hair.
  1575. You are sucked into a hypercube.
  1576. You are sucked into the timecube.
  1577. You contract gout.
  1578. There is a Narf in your swimming pool.
  1579. Every time you masturbate, you see a picture of a kitten flash behind your eyelids. Every time, it gets closer, and it's claws are so very sharp . .and there are strange things behind him, shapes without form .... the word "Domokun," comes to you, each time, leaving you filled with terror.
  1580. Everyone thought you were devastated when they died. But, really, you were mostly relieved. It's not like you actually loved them, after all. "You can always have more kids," as your shrink said.
  1581. For you alone the horoscopes are always true.
  1582. You become the messiah to a god who never tells you their name or anything else about them. You have powers, just no direction.
  1583. You believe you are the second coming of a god who was born of a virgun birth, persecuted by the romans, raised the dead and was eventually crucified. You know, Apollonius.
  1584. All paper in the area turns to parchment.
  1585. All pencils and pens in the area turn into feather quills (some of them with bottles of ink to be dipped in)
  1586. All the lighting in the neighborhood turns into candles. (Fortunately, nothing catches a building on fire or anything...)
  1587. Enya music follows you wherever you go.
  1588. Whenever your friends use your bathroom, they notice a year's supply of Tegretol in your medicine cabinet. You never see it, however.
  1589. Whenever anyone jinxes you, you are unable to talk until someone says your name again.
  1590. The next virus you acquire turns out to be intelligent, and wants to preserve its life at all costs, and procreate. You sneese an awful lot these days.
  1591. Your location is stampeded by talking cows.
  1592. All clothing you touch is automatically pressed, ironed, drycleaned, bleached, and starched.
  1593. You (and your party) are the last grown-up(s) on Earth. Every other human is around four or so years old. ... And they are bored.
  1594. Each morning your mother's voice yells for you to get up and she bangs on the door of your room, though she's been dead for years.
  1595. Everyone who looks into your eyes can see the things you dreamt last night in detail.
  1596. You relive the worst childhood memory of any person you touch for the next week.
  1597. When you shake hands with people you become aware of all their sexual fantasies and fetishes - and they become aware of yours, you sick bastard.
  1598. Any time you explain something to another person in urgency, it's followed by a drumroll and symbol crash.
  1599. One of your friends mysteriously disappears. He or she subsequently contacts you in a dream.
  1600. Your head can detach from your body. In fact, keeping it on is a bit of a challenge.
  1601. All your friends are disappearing, being bought off one by one. A million each, in cash. Guess they weren't true friends after all, eh?
  1602. You begin receiving phone calls from people who are no longer alive. Sometimes they give you useful messages, but often times they just hang up when you realize who it is.
  1603. Anytime you're looking at reflections, everyone seems to be holding knives and drawing closer the longer you look.
  1604. Just as there is a soul mate for love, there is one for hate. Somewhere out there, he or she has hated you since the day you were born, and you may never find out until it is too late and they smile, and you see what's really lurking in their eyes.
  1605. During sex, you speak in loud bouts of aphrasia.
  1606. You find a motel key for a room that does not exist. You can use it in any door to enter said nonexistant room, and can subsequently exit through any door you can envision.
  1607. You find yourself in a furry convention. You're wearing a Hello Kitty costume.
  1608. Any time a name is spoken aloud other than your own, you hear various B-movie sound effects instead.
  1609. Whenever you wear an animal costume, everyone believes you actually are that animal. Even photographs and video show you as one.
  1610. Every day you wake up with $333 in your pocket. If you don't spend it exactly to the last penny by the end of the day, someone you love dies. You are probably running out of hookers whose love you can buy for $333.
  1611. Whenever you wear an animal costume, everyone believes you actually are that animal. Even photographs and video show you as one. And you find yourself in a furry convention, wearing a hello kitty costume.
  1612. Google is convinced you don't exist.
  1613. Your hair turns jet black and resists dyeing. Your bangs grow longer to hang over your eyes, and you always appear to be wearing black eyeshadow.
  1614. You can walk on water! Just don't look down... there's something waiting for you.
  1615. Every video store in the city has BETA vcrs, everyone is using laserdisc and the 8 track player is all the rage now -- only you seem to remember the way the world used to be, the way it should be...
  1616. Photographs and other imagery taken of you shows your face as blurred.
  1617. The more you drink, attractive people and unattractive people begin to look like the opposites. This might seem normal, except that after you sleep, it remains in effect until you drink again.
  1618. Whenever you stay at a hotel or motel, you always wake up in a different room than the one you checked into. Everyone remembers you as checking into the new room, and records agree.
  1619. You find it nearly impossible to sleep indoors.
  1620. Whenever you stay at a hotel, you wake up in a motel with the same name, in another city. The reverse doesn't hold true.
  1621. You have forgotten how to sleep. If you should force yourself to go unconscious, you find that you forget how to breath while unawake.
  1622. Any time you would find yourself driving, the vehicle always has a backseat... occupied by a random carnivore.
  1623. Whenever you drive, you always hear your mother complaining and correcting your driving from the backseat. Sometimes you even see her briefly in the rear-view mirror.
  1624. Whenever you drive a car, the carseat is always occupied by the baby you never had, convinced you couldn't raise a child in the world, shamed into the clinic. The worst part? It tells you you're forgiven.
  1625. Anytime you occupy an SUV it starts to thunder and rain. If the vehicle moves from being parked it becomes green and red and you eventually pass signs stating your presence on Isla Nublar.
  1626. You often mistakenly receive the mail of people who want you dead.
  1627. You are compelled to answer all spam mail and send away for every product they offer, buy everything they ask. You've never used e-mail. You're terrified to even try.
  1628. The next time you litter, a nearby Native will witness it and feel deeply saddened. Possibly enraged.
  1629. You start receiving letters adressed to the son you have yet to conceive. So far, you haven't opened one.
  1630. Anytime you smoke, you uncannily see a native amercian within the vicinity with a single tear in their eye.
  1631. The next time you knock on a locked door, it will spontaneously unlock. However, you will find that your keys have suddenly gone missing.
  1632. The next time you make a racist remark, you turn into the very thing you are mocking.
  1633. All cigarettes and cigars you attempt to smoke will end up being the novelty sort that explode.
  1634. You have turned into the opposite sex. At least, that's what YOU think.
  1635. The next time you jump, gravity ceases to exist and only you remember it. Other people think you are a moron for leaving the ground without a tether.
  1636. The sex isn't the same, now that she's dead. But at least she doesn't bother you anymore and you finally have some peace and quiet.
  1637. Whenever you attempt to whisper, you instead emit a sound akin to fingernails on a chalkboard.
  1638. Every day, one thing you say or think will become true, and change the world to fit that truth. You have no idea which thought it will be.
  1639. The next time you say that something is impossible, that very thing will become true if it was not already so.
  1640. You are under a gypsy curse to be yourself until you die.
  1641. Whenever you find water on the floor, whether it was already there or it was just spilled, Samara crawls out of it and kills someone nearby. Afterwards she points menacingly as if to say someday you're next.
  1642. If you don't untie and retie your shoes at least 3 times when you put them on, you will invariably trip and hurt yourself.
  1643. You always wake up wearing a tie.
  1644. Anytime you are killed by another person, you become that person.
  1645. Every time you utter a curse word, a random person in the vicinity falls under an actual curse.
  1646. Your eyes always change colour to match your tie.
  1647. when you are inebriated, you have a tie inexplicably tied around your head.
  1648. You are convinced any relationship you have will fail, unless it will.
  1649. You wake up every morning with a columbian necktie, but manage to put yourself back together before the bleeding gets too bad. The wound always heals, but no one believes it's stigmata
  1650. Whenever you lay on a matress you can clearly feel creatures crawling and slitering inside it, but you never find any if you check.
  1651. You become the world's best piano player ... but only while playing on a piano key neck tie.
  1652. Whenever you wake up, the bed always has the impression of someone else having slept beside you, but no one is ever there.
  1653. When you play air guitar, it produces actual sound. This ability ceases to function if you ever attempt to demonstrate this to an audience or record it in any way.
  1654. Whenever you sleep with another person in the same bed, the two of you wake up having switched bodies.
  1655. You meet your player.
  1656. You and your player swap realities.
  1657. You're allergic all animals except when touching one.
  1658. Each and every one of your characters in all games you've played is now a child, and yours.
  1659. People around you always seem to drop pointed objects... You're a narcoleptic with hemophelia.
  1660. You frequently make alterations to the way your possessions function, but then forget why or when.
  1661. No matter what, you always arrive at your workplace without pants on.
  1662. You now possess the dietary needs of a fruit bat.
  1663. You wake up in someone else's body. Your own body is going about its business as normal, though, just like you would, and doesn't seem changed at all.
  1664. You wake up in your body to find one of the other tenants is now in charge, and there are really six of you sharing it.
  1665. Your sleep cycle has been altered so that you remain awake for exactly 24 hours before you can fall asleep again.
  1666. You've never filed income taxes, but the government still sends you rebates.
  1667. Your refridgerator always has garlic and the water dispenser supplies holy water. All your toothpicks are too large to be functional, and yet you do not know what a vampire is, nor can remember five seconds after being told.
  1668. You will soon realize that you have been forgetting to go to work for a week or more, yet your paychecks still arrive and they never call looking for you...
  1669. You receive a ticket in the mail from traffic violation cameras at a specific intersection in town every month. If you change vehicles they keep coming... In truth it's not you, but the camera angle makes the license plate suspiciously similar.
  1670. You arre currsed to rroll yourr rrs.
  1671. You wake up tired. People will sometimes refer to events you were supposedly present for which you don't recall, and when asked when it was, they will tell you that such events happened during times when you're sure you were sleeping...
  1672. Every night, your pillow really does become a giant marshmallow.
  1673. You contract scurvy.
  1674. You say desu at the end of everything, but can only speak mandarin and cantonese to anyone who knows any japanese.
  1675. Your tears are slightly acidic. This does not harm your eyes, but it does irritate your skin.
  1676. You wake up wearing an albatross around your neck and remember something about a wedding, wasn't it last night, and you were a guest....
  1677. You can only speak in iambic pentameter except when hurting people.
  1678. You always use your name instead of 'I' or 'me' and don't realize you do it.
  1679. You always reverse the useage of pronouns such as 'you' or 'I' when it's least convenient. Mostly situations of life or death.
  1680. You begin to believe the lies you've told everyone else about yourself.
  1681. Every Tarot card reading you have done will invariably predict terrible misfortune and death in some horrible manner.
  1682. Coin flips never land in your favor.
  1683. Anytime you lie while holding a pen you begin to write THE PEN IS BLUE on anything in sight including yourself. The pen has red ink, even if it was black.
  1684. Whenever someone asks you how many lights you see, you always feel compelled to yell "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" regardless of how many there actually are.
  1685. Anytime you eat a fortune cookie, Vanna White taps on the window and asks if you want to buy a bowel. Then yours start to hurt.
  1686. Whenever you ascend or descend a staircase, every third step will squeak.
  1687. You turn into your World of Warcraft character.
  1688. You tend to say 'Azaroth' instead of 'Earth' and don't notice until someone points it out.
  1689. You turn into one of those exotic-looking elf chicks that all the fantasy games and MMOs use to sell themselves.
  1690. Whenever you call a sex hotline, the woman on the other end knows your name, and can't stop giggling.
  1691. If you ever use a dating service of any kind, you invariable end up paired with someone who is a blood relation of yours.
  1692. If you're male, anytime you play a male character in an online enviroment, no one believes you are.
  1693. Whenever you are about to do something dangerous or daring, you feel compelled to say, "What time is it? ADVENTURE TIME!"
  1694. Everyone thinks you're an orphan, that everyone else died in the plane crash. They think that's why you're getting fat, but you know the truth: cannibal guilt never goes away.
  1695. Whenever someone says they love you, you promptly forget their name.
  1696. You have a Hello Kitty tattoo.
  1697. Anytime you say something and someone else laughs you flail your arms and scream loudly, becoming Dane Cook for an hour.
  1698. You are physically incapable of properly folding road maps.
  1699. Every time you fold a map, it becomes a tessaract
  1700. You keep a diary/journal, but if anyone (including yourself) goes to read it, they/you will find that it is written in ancient Sumerian.
  1701. You can never be out of the same room with your true love. If you try and go to different ones, you'll either encounter stiff resistance, or one of you will spontaneously teleport. (If you both go outside, you have a range of about 100 feet.)
  1702. Whenever you fold origami animals, they come to life and move around... but only while there are no witnesses other than yourself.
  1703. You're deathly allergic to dogs. Everyone you know owns a lapdog.
  1704. The walls of your home bleed, but only about once a month.
  1705. When you cut yourself, the cuts begin to speak to you. You don't understand them yet, but if you makea dep enough cut they won't have to mumble any more....
  1706. You will soon come to the realization that you are in fact an alien symbiote living inside of and controlling the body you thought was your own.
  1707. You ride the Hollywood Elevator ride... It really does drop and everyone survives except for you. You haunt the elevator, but everyone thinks you're just a prop.
  1708. You often find stitched up wounds on yoruself that you do not recall receiving or having treated.
  1709. You decorate turtle shells for a living. But only with sais, boes, swords and nunchaku.
  1710. Sewer rats tend to try to teach you secrets.
  1711. Random objects, such as marbles, somehow keep appearing under your skin.
  1712. Whenever someone prays or says "God damn it" in your general vicinity, you feel inclined to grant the request.
  1713. Your dog has a subwoofer installed for its bark. No one seems to notice.
  1714. The internet is always slow for you, but tends to speed up if you've recently harmed someone. Killing someone will grant you amazingly fast speeds for a time, even on dial-up.
  1715. Everytime you hear a cat meow you fall to your knees and proclaim your unworthiness. Then you are given a charge to some task by psychic projection of images from said cat. You always affirm the task by saying "Yes, Sir Boots." before running off to accomplish it.
  1716. When you smoke marijuana, you receive precognitive visions. The problem is that you tend to only remember bits and pieces while sober.
  1717. The next Snark you encounter will, in fact, be a Boojum.
  1718. Breathing is a conscious action except while sleeping.
  1719. In your dreams, you die and go to hell to be taught terrible things by the Majestic 13. But no one believes your visions, or that Darth Vader is the devil.
  1720. Whenever you make eye contact with a child under age 13, they become irrationally terrified of you.
  1721. You are a Breatharian. You can survive on air alone, but the smog-- it burrrnnnsss
  1722. Men and women really are from Mars and Venus respectively. Space travel is available, but you are the only non-homosexual member of your planet.
  1723. When you inhale the breath expelled by a sleeper, you can peer into their dreams. You are aware that you possess this ability as soon as you lay eyes on a sleeping person.
  1724. Whenever you dream, your soul really does become a fairy that flies away from your body. You are worried that some day it will never come back.
  1725. the next time you sneeze,you expel your soul.
  1726. Whenever you try to use an egg in food preparation, you find an unborn fetus inside that looks disturbingly human in nature.
  1727. You are paranoid that everyone is in a conspiracy against you. Everyone else is paranoid that you are plotting against humanity.
  1728. Whenever you gaze around a public place, you will awlays catch at least 3 people watching you.
  1729. You can kill anyone or anything with a mere thought, but something fatal always occurs right when you do that gets the credit.
  1730. Whenever you use a public urinal, someone always takes the one beside you in defiance of psychology.
  1731. Whenever you attempt to use a public restroom, the lights will go out.
  1732. Anytime you witness a race, everyone in the audience is wearing a business suit and has a new york buzzcut. Everyone.
  1733. Every time you ask for a volunteer, only the people who cannot help you are visible.
  1734. Whenever you attend a party with at least 5 guests besides yourself, at some point the roof of the building will catch aflame.
  1735. Any visit you make to the DMV you pull a number and the counter calls out the number following it in sequence. Then they continue to call ascending numbers.
  1736. You always lose all pocket change you attempt to carry with you, but there are never any actual holes in your pockets.
  1737. Anytime you are asked to do something by authority figures, you are physically unable to do anything except just the opposite.
  1738. You are from Delaware.
  1739. Whenever you eat meat, you see the ghost of the animal it came from stalking you for the rest of the day. You get a terrible feeling that they are plotting revenge, and just waiting until there are enough of them to wreak it upon you.
  1740. You can always distinguish other people from ethnic similarities, but no one can tell you apart from anyone remotely resembling yours.
  1741. Whenever you eat veggies, you see the ghost of the poor defenseless living creature you butchered it came from stalking you for the rest of the day. You get a terrible feeling that they are plotting revenge, and just waiting until there are enough of them to wreak it upon you with a food processor while you are still alive, as they were.
  1742. If you did not already, you now fit at least 2 common stereotypes about your race.
  1743. You believe you are educated stupid.
  1744. Whenever you are with only one other person, you assume any ethnic stereotype you can think of for them.
  1745. You don't believe decimal points exist.
  1746. Anyone you are around starts acting like you after a few moments, copying your speech patterns and mannerisms, believing everything you believe and, slowly, looking like you.
  1747. Caffeine function like cocaine for you.
  1748. Chocolate is fatally toxic to you.
  1749. You're a rich kid from Beverly Hills who raps... And succeed in getting record label after record label. Your downfall is in making one crass comment about Bill Gates who promptly erases your identity, dissolving all funds and identification from electronic records.
  1750. You win "The Lottery."
  1751. You join the walk for cancer. Guess what you win.
  1752. People who you touch for a prolonged period of time develop skin cancer.
  1753. All pens you use contain vanishing novelty ink.
  1754. Every pencil you use looks gnawed on after you put it down, though you are sure you're not chewing on it.
  1755. Whenever you need to record something, all writing utensils both mundane and digital fail to function properly.
  1756. Once a month you receive a magazine all about You, and the contents are very telling, often centering around your deepest secrets. You receive the issue regardless of where you are at the time.
  1757. You manage to get your face on the cover of People, but you are such a non entity that circulation plummets and the magazine closes down.
  1758. You're on the cover of Time Magazine! ...2006
  1759. Your reflection appears to be 10 years older or younger than you (it changes daily).
  1760. You were born with an owner's manual.
  1761. You find an envelope under your bedroom door containing a picture of you in compromising positions with 12 drummers drmming, 11 pipers piping, and all the way down to fondling a patridge in a pear tree. Merry Christmas.
  1762. The tooth fairy used to pay for your teeth in sex instead of dollars. She forgot her wand the last time she came.
  1763. You have a tattoo on the back of your neck of a red circle and the word "Off." If someone presses the circle, you immediately fall unconscious.
  1764. People tell you that you really know how to press their buttons... They're always wearing button-up shirts and blouses when this occurs.
  1765. The person you love most literally has the key to your heart, and there is a keyhole in the middle of your chest.
  1766. Your lovers always tell you they're going to ride you all night long. It always involves a bag of oats and spurs.
  1767. You wake up with piercings and nose rings with no idea how you got them all
  1768. You notice an empty bottle of absinthe in your hands and a bitter taste on your tongue.
  1769. The next time you kiss someone of the opposite sex, you are transformed into a toad. You remain in this form until the next time you are kissed by a member of the opposite sex.
  1770. You wake up with a hangover, a tattoo and no memory of where you got it -- which is really the whole point OF getting one.
  1771. The next time you kiss someone of the opposite sex, you are transformed into a rabbit. You remain in this form until the next time you next have sex.
  1772. The next time you/your wife have sex, you produce a litter of puppies.
  1773. Everytime you pass out drunk you wake up with a tatoo of someone who took advantage. Eventually you have the entire Patriots' cheerleading team on your back. Male and female...
  1774. You now know all the digits of pi. Every single one. But whenever you try to recite them all in any form, you get a headache that increases in intensity as you continue.
  1775. Sometimes you black out unexplainedly. When you awaken, Steve-O is always present.
  1776. Whenever you witness a raindance, a dry spell envelopes the hemisphere.
  1777. whenever you dance, it starts pouring rain.
  1778. There is an extensively detailed entry on wikipedia about you.
  1779. No matter what you type into Wikipedia, there's an entry for it. Regardless of whether there was previous.
  1780. Every time you have a truly original idea, you experience an orgasm. You are unable to any other way.
  1781. Whenever you get pleasantly excited you make an uncontrollable "Squee!" noise.
  1782. Every time you invent something, it is patented seconds before you can.
  1783. Whenever you wake up you will find that all of your underwear has been replaced by pink thongs.
  1784. Your perception of colors is now inverted.
  1785. One of your ears always has water in it. Just one.
  1786. You now must inhale Carbon Dioxide to survive, and you exhale Oxygen.
  1787. Penguins do your bidding. Wild and zoo inhabitants.
  1788. Dairy products in your home always go bad no matter how properly you store them.
  1789. Whenever you are in a room with books on shelves and the room is quiet, a single book will spontaneously fall to the floor and make a loud noise. Even if it is nowhere near you, anyone else in the room will immediately blame you for it.
  1790. Any freezer you open automatically has enough room to store one human body.
  1791. You will be killed within the next twenty-four hours, only to wake up in a dumpster across town as a person of the opposite sex with a gland problem that makes you 200 pounds overweight and with no clothes or ID.
  1792. You now inhale when you yawn. Its something like a terrible gasp.
  1793. You -must- whistle while you work.
  1794. You die.
  1795. You take a nap.
  1796. You run a roleplaying game once a week.
  1797. You become a minor operator for an IRC channel in which you're expected to lay down false martial law otherwise paranoia requires the base to uprise and riot mindlessly over a small matter of who has downloaded the most conversation to their logs.
  1798. All your friends start privvately revealing to you that they're closet furries.
  1799. For your birthday, your friends all buy you fake tails (mostly fox tails, but some others). They all think this is perfectly normal, and express wonderment if you don't want to wear them.
  1800. You find yourself in a furry convention wearing a safari outfit, complete with the big gun and spare shells on your hat.
  1801. Everyone you know shamelessly fits under a stereotype and never deviates.
  1802. All your friends start privately revealing to you that they're closet transvestites.
  1803. All your friends start privately revealing to you that they know you are a closet transvestite.
  1804. Everyone in the world (except your party) now wears the clothes you associated with the opposite gender.
  1805. There is never another surge ever again. You have experienced the last surge, and it is nothing.
  1806. You must live out your life to the last second. Not once may you consider suicide and are uncannily immune to murder, illness or accidents of any sort.
  1807. You are no longer visible, audible or tangible to other people as well has have no scent. You still must eat, drink and breathe to survive but you are unable to move or manipulate other things unless they're not being watched, including surveilance or monitoring equipment.
  1808. The sun disappears, like on a cloudy day, but you know it's been kidnapped.
  1809. The second moon in the sky vanishes, but no one else seems to believe it ever existed
  1810. In leiu of a paycheck, you recieve a dead bird in a ziploc bag full of water. You are told that it will come to life and give you career advice, when the time is right, so you can hit it big like Donald Trump. Sometimes its eyes will open and it will stare at you. If you try to get rid of it, it will be returned.
  1811. Your beagle starts a blog, and begs you to add him as a friend.
  1812. You are brought to court by a pirate yeti. He can't appear in court to drop the charges, because pirate yetis don't exist.
  1813. You lay an egg in the middle of the night.
  1814. You are in a department store; "no shirt, no shoes, no service". Since you don't have any shoes, the employees are hunting you down. You devise an intricate plan to steal a pair, but by the time you're done you've lost all your other clothing.
  1815. There is an emu dressed as a lasagna. If you try to point this out, people will scoff, and insist that the lasagna is NOT an emu.
  1816. Sasquatch arrives at your door, to borrow some orange zest.
  1817. A swan keeps trying to seduce you. This gets rather tiresome, and is definitely a problem at work.
  1818. You now have a Siamese twin sister.
  1819. You now haver a Siamese twin. Who is a cat.
  1820. You know how they say: 'would you kiss your mother with that tongue'? Have you ever tried it? I did. Just removed your tongue, kiss her with it, and hope that deep down she really loves you ...
  1821. There is only one real self-help book that isn't for the self-absorbed. It's the only one that works, because the Comte himself wrote it. Anyone who reads it will asscend as The Guru.
  1822. You know the spam emails everyone gets from businessmen in Nigeria? You're the only one to get a real one, and you ignored it. Assuming he survives the upheaval in the government, he's got a score to settle.
  1823. You wake up after a night drinking and find that, instead of getting a new tattoo, all your tattoos have vanished from your body.
  1824. After the laser eyes surgery failed, you still needed glasses. Only now, when you take them off, you see clearly behind the illusion of the world to the things that lurk behind it. The really funny thing? Most of them are wearing glasses just like yours.
  1825. Evil gnomes steal your name.
  1826. You lose your tail.
  1827. You trail rainbow sparkles wherever you go.
  1828. All the dust in your house is pixie dust, and can be used for flight.
  1829. Your pet dog transforms into a human being, and wishes to marry you.
  1830. Everyone in town becomes some sort of mythical/fantasy-type creature (the humanoid kind, or at least with a humanoid form). Everyone, except for you.
  1831. You turn into a werebroccoli.
  1832. Any footwear that you wear disintegrates after a few minutes.
  1833. Someone mistakes you for a girl.
  1834. Someone mistakes you for a boy.
  1835. You are apparently entered into a magically binding contract without your prior knowledge or consent.
  1836. You begin to glow.
  1837. You turn into a satyr.
  1838. You can be manipulated by ordinary TV/VCR remote controls.
  1839. You are abducted by unicorns (and are nearly gored to death).
  1840. You engage in shameless fanservice.
  1841. One of your friends has an operational magical girl detector. Occasionally it goes off.
  1842. You trip over an invisible human head.
  1843. You find yourself in the National Guard.
  1844. You find yourself in the National Guard of a fantasy kingdom you've never heard of before.
  1845. Coca-Cola bottles continually appear in opened containers, cabinets, et cetera.
  1846. The Aflac duck attacks. I hope you have supplemental disability insurance, or you could be in a world of financial hurt :P
  1847. The players try to take the field, but the marching band refuses to yield.
  1848. Your village is burned to the ground by bandits.
  1849. The dynasty is in danger. How good is your kung fu?
  1850. You have no kung fu!
  1851. The Jade Warlord sends a bounty hunter after you.
  1852. You can kill each other when it's over.
  1853. The following preview has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES by the MPAA.
  1854. You are replaced by a trained monkey.
  1855. You are summoned back to Narnia.
  1856. 1300 years elapse in the blink of an eye.
  1857. Giant eagles bombard your location with stones.
  1858. You fail a math test because you were thinking about racing.
  1859. Someone is trying to crush everything in your life that matters to you.
  1860. Industrial Light and MAgic is contracted for the special effects in the remainder of the game.
  1861. A Model T goes out of control and knocks over your fence.
  1862. You are given away as a prize with a Happy Meal.
  1863. You can /write/ people's destinies in the stars. It doesn't mean they'll come true, but you can sure freak out the horoscopes and fortune tellers.
  1864. The next time you visit a fortune teller, they become rather angry accuse you of cheating. (Fate, or something like that. It's hard to understand exactly.)
  1865. You encounter a bad omen.
  1866. You should use more surges.
  1867. The fortune teller keeps getting your future confused with your pet's.
  1868. You begin to look more like your dog.
  1869. All nearby paper begins to turn blank. Later, designs and ornamentation will also begin to disappear from fabrics, and other surfaces. Eventually, everything begins to lose its color, too.
  1870. You will go on a blind date (with an actual blind person).
  1871. You accidentally trade names with someone (such as your girlfriend, or that stuck-up little girl next door). Everyone seems to remember the new names, and any documents have changed as well.
  1872. It begins to rain... a blue rain, as in the Lacuna. Beware the spider-men.
  1873. You arrive home after a mostly-normal day and find that the inside of your home has been replaced by another world.
  1874. Next time your car gets a ticket, it turns out to be a ticket to a movie, or opera, or vacation, or such. (Just the car, though. Not you.)
  1875. The game you are playing in suddenly changes systems.

The introduction #game1 info odds 'n' Ends Contact Alcar here