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* Julius` turns around and starts talking to Needles, "Remind me to not offer favors ever again."
<Julius`> "Dr. Julius is apparently not gifted in the areas of sexual therapy."

<AlcarDM> You arrive at the pool out of breath .. I assume you throw them in?
<AlcarDM> Nothing happens. It's just water now, it seems.
<AlcarDM> Well, water with a lot of snakes in it nw ;p
<Orgg> lol
<Orgg> maybe the snakes can't swim
<AlcarDM> Sadly, they doesn't seem able to. But they're still growing, so breathing doens't seem ot be an issue either
* Orgg curses and wonders what his father would do.
* Orgg curses again as he realized the dwarf already tried to eat them.

<Theliar`^> "She is the goddess. I'm sure whe would only demand something in your power. Besides, he's a very evil baron. It's not that you can't do it, it's that you won't... why is that?"
<AlcarDM> She glares at the elf. "It doesn't matter if he's evil. Most of them *are* - they're inbred!"
<Theliar`^> "So then why do you feel the baron is above the goddess's wishes? You want him dead, he doesn't have to be alive for the prociedure."
<AlcarDM> "You'd till him inot the ground alive?!
<Theliar`^> "I said he didn't have to be alive."
<Theliar`^> "Just like burrying his body just.. spreading his body throught the field.."
<Theliar`^> "What were you going to do with his body after you killed him anyway?
<AlcarDM> Woman: "We wouldn't kill him - he's the ruler!"

<AlcarDM> You enter the villageinside the walls to find a small mob of villagers coming towards you with clubs :)
<AlcarDM> The leader is obviously a smith of some kind, and demands you stand aside
<Theliar`^> "What's this?"
<AlcarDM> Smith: "We saw the menace go through our streets! The dead walking!"
<Orgg> ((/me gasps and looks pale. "Where!?" =P))
<Theliar`^> "What's wrong with that?"
<AlcarDM> He blinks: "Are you new? undead! Evil! The Dark Lord might be coming!"
<Orgg> "He's in the keep."
<Orgg> "I think he's been making deals with your baron!"
<Theliar`^> "Yes! We should till the barron into the ground!"
<Orgg> "Evil snake things and dark lords go hand in hand, you know!"
<AlcarDM> The mob grinds to a halt.Smith: "Oh,that's differ --- " stares at Theliar .. "What?"

<Theliar`^> "I almost had them agreeing with me! The baron must be tilled into the ground before she will bless the crops."

* Sabine whispers to Natalia
<Sabine> "Do you speak any other tongues, mistress Natalia?"
<Natalia> Whisper: "I can curse in goblin."

<AgentD> You guys use a white-solf like system, of the more detailed the actions a bonus is granted?
<Tech-Sensei> no
<Tech-Sensei> this is 3e games
<Tech-Sensei> D&D
<Tech-Sensei> wizards of the coast
<Tech-Sensei> for things like white wolf, you go to #game1

<Farthes> Modern d20 and UA are to be used together right?
<Dark_Hatch`> yeah, they're used together
<Alcar> Farthes - if I thought you'd meant Unknown Armies I'd have had to hunt you down and kill you :p

<Kate`^> "What about tinfoil hats? Can they protect people from a telepath?"
* Ryan``` blinks
<Ryan```> "Uh... what?"
* Kate`^ shrugs
<Kate`^> "Crazy people seem to think it works... Tinfoil hats?"
<Ryan```> "I'm not crazy, I wouldn't know."
<Ryan```> "You ask the weirdest questions."

<Kate`^> "You wanted to come along... I just wondered if you had any interest in doing it again..."
<AlcarGM> She stps and looks shocked. "Doing what? I don't have any facy powers."
<Kate`^> "You don't really need any fancy powers to do that kind of stuff... you just need brains, and talent.. even a drive... I mean.. Look how far batman got, superman could have kicked his ass anytime... but he held is own.."
<AlcarGM> Jenny: "Kate! That was a comic book!"
<AlcarGM> Jenny: "This is real life!"
* Kate`^ blinks
<Kate`^> "It seems there's little differance anymore."

<AlcarGM> <Needles> "..... how do we do that without our powers? The elevator is stuck."
<MaelStrom> "we cant get out if the elevator is not working"
<Julius> "Open the hatch on it then."
<MaelStrom> "you didnt think this all the way through julius"
<AlcarGM> (( there is none. ))
<Julius> "Me?"
<Julius> "I didn't think this through?"
<Julius> ".. I guess you're right."
<MaelStrom> (HE ADMITS IT!)

* MaelStrom opens up the control pannel and tries to cross wire it with the battery pack of the plamsa rifle
<MaelStrom> "This thing MIGHT have enough energy to run the elevator for a few minutes..."
<MaelStrom> "But we wont have a weapon.."
<Julius> "Who cares.. if this did what I think it did the telepath is in a world of pain right now if he's in purgatory.. along with any telepath unfortunate enough to be here."
<AlcarGM> The elevator begins to hum, slightly, no lights, but it is working
<AlcarGM> The elevator moves, fast, tothe right..... there is a humm... smoke starts coingout the panel
<MaelStrom> "You guys might wanna stand back in case it shorts.."
* MaelStrom waits for the elevator to stop on its own before disconnecting it
<MaelStrom> "If.......if only i was more like dad....we wouldnt need to do this."
<Julius> "If you were like your father, there would be more dead people around.."

<AlcarGM> The panel melts.. the elevator jerks, teeters, then begins going down, sideways
* Julius notices the fall
<Julius> "Let's hope we live."
<MaelStrom> "Did what you do cancel out all our powers? or just external ones? will super strength still work?"
<Julius> "I have no clue what I did."
<Julius> "But I just noticed that its kinda funny there there's no electricity in the burg..."
<Julius> "I always thought it was because they were poor."
<AlcarGM> The elavator falls fast and hits the ground with a chrunching sound, throwing you all arond.. you're bruised, but alive
<MaelStrom> "Why is it then?"
<Julius> "Something blocks it."
* MaelStrom finds it funny that they are carrying out an almost casual conversation as they plummet to their doom.

<SilverHorse> I was chatting in another room
<SilverHorse> and I flipped back to #game1
<SilverHorse> and the first thing I saw was
<SilverHorse> * Julius whips it out and turns it on
<SilverHorse> <AlcarGM> it doesn't work
<SilverHorse> <MaelStrom> "ok try cutting through.."
<SilverHorse> Me, being the pervert that I am... yeah..

* kentari spent the first half of the session protecting kate's dependants while his were being held hostage...
<kentari> I now realize that makes no sense.
<kentari> :P

<alcarGM> You're flying up into space then? :p
<Maelstrom> sure
<alcarGM> How do you plan to breath, out of pure curiousity?
<Maelstrom> i control ice, which has oxgen in it....I continuously create ice and melt some away creating water vapor, burn away the hydrogen and breath the oxegen.....pure comic book physics. :-D
<Maelstrom> if you tell me Aftermath aint a comic book world i'll smack you :-P
<Maelstrom> so that good enough?
<Maelstrom> there is also the other explination
<Maelstrom> explination #2 is very simple
<Maelstrom> i'm a super hero and all superheroes can breath in space
<Maelstrom> its just elementery

<alcarGM> lol. Not in this world it's not.. you quickly find out as you hit upper atmosphere, oh, and that lack ofpressure is a Bad Thing.
<Maelstrom> can i see her?
<alcarGM> No .. but you do notice that there doesn;'t seem to be a moon, and that they sun looks smaller than you'd imagine it would
<Maelstrom> (Who destroyed the moon? Void or Weaponsmith?)
<alcarGM> (( you have no idea who did ))
<Maelstrom> (i mean occly..)
<Maelstrom> (it was a joke)
<alcarGM> (( no one did in hubris :p ))
<Maelstrom> (well, i considered it)

<Maelstrom> (ok, so Darth Vader in a pleasant voice just asked me who i am. wonderfull)

<Kate`^> "So Jupiter is the sun?"
<Kate`^> "We can't destroy the sun, we'd all die."
<Kate`^> "I could aim a comet toward the white house
<Vora> (( wow, wiggy. ))
<Vora> (( alternate universes are weeeeird ))
<Kate`^> "it wouldn't help much because it's too big to do at once and would take a while... and they'd see it comming.."
<Julius> "Oh, so you'd be perfectly fine with doing something like that in an alternate reality?"
<Kate`^> "Well yeah if the president is evil and opressing the people and controlling the 'now evil' peacemakers... yes?"
<Julius> "... You're sadistic."
<Vora> (( bah, evil is relative. ))
<AlcarGM> (( you don't know HOW weird :p ))
<Vora> (( but its interesting to note Kate follows Bush's policy :P ))
<Kate`^> "Well... a comet would be too big.."

* Maelstrom starts setting the sky on fire, writing VOID in large flaming letters
<AlcarGM> Ok.......
<Maelstrom> (i cant think of anything else heh)
<AlcarGM> Nothing happens for a good 1/2 hour... then the letters just go out.
* Maelstrom flies to where new haven is supposed to be then
<AlcarGM> lol!
<AlcarGM> Cheater :p
<Maelstrom> how am i cheating?
<AlcarGM> you're running away from being killed!
<AlcarGM> :p

<Maelstrom> "What?"
<Maelstrom> "You just told me you dont give a shit about me or what I do, and now you want a favor?"
<Julius> "Yeah."
<Maelstrom> "..."
<Julius> "I just finished telling you I don't care what you do and wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do."

<Maelstrom> "So what am i blowing up now?"

<Alcar> rofl..... this is such a cool image
<Alcar> a Steve Irwin clone as a CoC character. "Look at that Deep One--she's a beaut! Puttin' up a rreal fight, too!"

<kentari> 1d0
<Sparkie> kentari 1d0: 1
<kentari> I win!
<kentari> :P Critical success, too
<kentari> And .. an impossible result
<kentari> wow, how often does THAT happen?
* kentari boasts
<aslhk> every time!
<aslhk> 1d0
<Sparkie> aslhk 1d0: 0
<aslhk> see!?
<aslhk> =P

<kentari> :P I just realized that with 90 speed you can run fast, regardless of skill
<kentari> and with 90 mind you're really smart
<Alcar> yes :p
<kentari> what do you do with 90 soul? :P
<Alcar> get eaten by demons.
<Alcar> and/or be really sensetive :)

<Kate`^> "So John, I see you're doing your crossword in Pen. Are you good at the crossword?"
<Alcar> John: "Oh, that. No. I'm filling it in with whatever makes sense. The Bible Code can be applied to any medium, you know."
<Kate`^> "Oh, I see."
<Kate`^> "What code is that?"
<Alcar> John: "A special codde developed by reading the bible and using every Nth letter and finding out things. It's quite facinating. Manages to predict an earthquake in Los Angelas that killed 11 people, apparently. God works in obscure ways, or is a pendant. I just try it on crosswords to see if the universe is sending me a message. So far, it's telling me to invest in whiteout, or pencils."

<Alcar> John "Mm-hmm. A nice city, all around. Very modern, I think. Peaceful, too, which always puzzled me." He sips his coffee.
<Kate`^> "If you get so many supers in one place, you expect alot of commotion... Knowing my past week it seems all too clear."
<Alcar> John:. "Less than we'd think, with Purgatory so near. I wonder if it keeps them in line, or something. It sems weird for it to be so peaceful here with such a prison close by, like hell on earth, if you believe some activists."
<Kate`^> (( Abandon all home, Ye who enter here >_< ))
<Kate`^> hope too!
<Kate`^> though home is good too

<GemmGM> The man that lead Sam in moves to the other side of the room, as you hear a voice, "Welcome gentlemen."
<SamSmith> "They're showing me the headstones."
* SamSmith looks for the source of the voice.
<GemmGM> "You may stop playing. I was given photos of what you looked like, as well sa your names."
<SamSmith> "What, I'm blacklisted from buying funeral plots now?"
* SamSmith was really in the market, too :/
<Dale> "And what do you want, then?"
<GemmGM> "We would like your bodies preferably."
<SamSmith> "How much?"
<Xavier> "I'm already an organ donor"
<SamSmith> "Get that off your card, man. They kill those people!"

<Chaos`^> I was thinking... just as a thought, no commitments here, if Kate got TP but it was passive/automatic, and she sometimes shared her thoughts.. and heard others...
<Chaos`^> and after a while she would get it under controll, but for rp purposes for a few sessions...
<AlcarGM> tp? Toilet paper as a ..
<AlcarGM> oh, telepathy :p
<Chaos`^> >_<

<Julius> "Details on stealth armour and personal protection device..?"
<AlcarGM> Central: "PPD is protective device, generates times explosions to propel any threat away from target. Works on any target that touches user. Not recommended for use in shopping malls at christmas. Stealth armour covers clothing, using between it and any coat, invisible unless damaged."
<Julius> "Effectiveness of stealth armour..?"
<AlcarGM> Central: "Capable of stopping most small arms fire and heavy arms fire, the latter only under optmial conditions, vis not being hit by heavy arms fire."

<AlcarGM> The phone rings.
* Julius picks it up
<Julius> "Marquis Corp, Mr. Marquis speaking."
<AlcarGM> There is a long, nervous pause, then Winter says "Mr. Marquis? Julius? Were you uhm expecting deliveries?"
<Julius> ".. What of?"
<AlcarGM> pause, then "bodies through the roof?"
<Julius> ".. Who of?"
<Julius> (( :P "Actually, yes. Put them in the fridge." ))
<AlcarGM> Longer pause. "Dead one."

* Kate`^ pulls her gun.. and uses it... point blank it should finish her... quickly..
<AlcarGM> (( uh, you'd be arrested for murder...... ))
<AlcarGM> (( where do you shoot her? and roll :P ))
<Kate`^> (( Oh? I figured it would be maternal instinct lol ;) Ok... Fine.. if you're going to be that way... Damn GM's ))
<Kate`^> always getting int he way, geez
<AlcarGM> (( LOL. ))

<Chaos`^> Well, to make things fair alcar, I sent Piotr to get Sara, and he was mindlessly sent as an NPC, it isn't Gemm's fault so I think it would be best in all fairness to let her stay unconcious for the trip to the warehouse without any events
<Chaos`^> Let her take it out on me =p
* Alcar nods. Yeah
<Alcar> and she honestly likes piotr.
<Alcar> She'd feel really bad if she made him into a love slave zombie bent on killing you
<Alcar> Especially from inside prison...

<Chaos`^> Know what really bothers me?
<Alcar> what?
<Chaos`^> more than the fact that I need julius?
<Alcar> or what Julius is doing by experimenting with Winter? :)
<Chaos`^> You were my concious when I was a little TOO into it... and you were right... which makes me crazier than you... I think I'll go roll up in a ball now and rock myself to sleep...
<Alcar> rofl
<Chaos`^> "A am not crazy, I am not craxy, I em not crazy.."

<Chaos`^> I was also thinking Waldo could give sara an upgrade in common sense...
<Chaos`^> but I decided against it, because I don't want a mindless zombie that walks around whispering "Seeeeeeeeeeeex" instead of brains...
<Chaos`^> though she would make a good cyber...
<Chaos`^> I wonder, if she could even seduce waldo.. at all...
<Alcar> She's love the challenge :)
<Chaos`^> he probably has some defence protocol set up
<Chaos`^> i'd be all for it, if waldo weren't 14.. petafilia is illeagle you see =p
<Alcar> lol! What is the legal agein the us? or does it vary from state to state?
<Chaos`^> 18
<Chaos`^> or, 4 years with parent's consent
<Alcar> or *how* many years?
<Chaos`^> 4 years differance
<Chaos`^> sorry
<Chaos`^> anyone UNDER 18 can't get charged for it
<Alcar> oh, I thought you wrote *at* 4 years instead of 14 :p

<aslhk> Keith's ios character is too cool for ios, anyway =P
<aslhk> er
<aslhk> for aftermath!
<aslhk> probably for ios as well!
<aslhk> *laugh*
<aslhk> but that's okay, because he's not *from* the ios world! =P

<AlcarDM> Guard: "This here.. this here's poison, eh?" he points at the empty flask. "Leas the missus always says sho...."
<Orgg> "Feels liek it but goood poison."
<AlcarDM> He nods. "She don' get it either. Not have to put up with her complainin' like I do. I don' even hit her." He beams. "I'm a good husband to .. to.. wutever her name is."

<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "You don't have any resson the college would be after you would you?"
<Alcar> She stiffens slightly at the mention of the college, then says "A few."
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "oh ok then I'll just put this away"
* Ryu_Fatherfoot sticks his college scroll away with out writing on it
<Alcar> She looks at it carefully, then at you, then says "Don't tell me you are a scholar?" in a pained voice
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "I'm not sure.. I don't remember what I am, Dark lord, good lord, king, god, scholar... I remember"
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "Hariet gave this to me, she said it would help anser questions."
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "Or well to find the ansers any way"
<Alcar> The woman looks at you, then says "God?" in a bemused tone

<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "Like I said I don't know, but I've got a necromanser trapped in a box."
<Alcar> She blinks, then sits down on a rock beside the water. "And I thought I had odd stories..... you shrunk him?"
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "Now why didn't I think of that!"
<Ryu_Fatherfoot> "No I umm.. burnt him to the bones and put his skull in the box so he couldn't come back befor I was ready for him"
<Alcar> Winddancer cleans his feathers. "You could have?" in a surprised tone
* Ryu_Fatherfoot looks at WindDancer "I'm not sure but its a good idea."
<Alcar> The griffon stares at you, then shakes his head

<Alcar> Bartender: "The captain is dead?" in a shocked tone.
* Orgg nods drunkenly
<Orgg> "Diidnt... didnt get to see the fight, but i saw the boody."
<Alcar> He looks pale. "That .. that means the mercenaries will be confused! We can win!" and leaps over the bar, yelling "To arms! We can win!" and rushes outside :)
* Orgg looks confusedly at the empty space in the air where the bar tender should be
<Alcar> quite a few half drunk patrons are staring as well
<Alcar> Finally, one man announces "Free booze!" and they rush the bar :)
* Orgg perks up at that and staggers out to the back room to find more northern stuff (going in the bag)
<Alcar> A minute later you hear shouting and "NO! No drinking! This is the revolution we're talking about!" from the bartender "To arms! Storm the palace!"
<Alcar> There is drunken laughter
<Alcar> "Or - or pay your tabs!"
<Alcar> The laughter wtops.
<Alcar> You hear weapons being drawn, followed by the bartender's voice "Much better!"

<Theliar`^> well, considering I hadn't updated the last level up and since we're lvl 4 already, my fort is only 3 so here goes
<Theliar`^> 1d20+3
<Sparkie> Theliar`^ 1d20+3: 8(5)
<Orgg> Theliar`^: use teh laermer speka!
<Orgg> sparkie is soooooothed by it!
<Theliar`^> oh right
<Theliar`^> 1d20+3 teh sprakei is teh suk
<Sparkie> Theliar`^ 1d20+3: 22(19) teh sprakei is teh suk
<Theliar`^> like that?
<Orgg> absolutely

<AlcarDM> Guard: "This here.. this here's poison, eh?" he points at the empty flask. "Leas the missus always says sho...."
<Orgg> "Feels liek it but goood poison."
<AlcarDM> He nods. "She don' get it either. Not have to put up with her complainin' like I do. I don' even hit her." He beams. "I'm a good husband to .. to.. wutever her name is."

* Julius walks into the other room, out of earshot, to place the call to Central
<Julius> (( :P oh well, you'll see why I'm doing this soon enough..))
<Caltak> (( coffin? ))
<Julius> (( Just watch, geez. ))
<Caltak> (( I knew it! :P ))
<AlcarGM> Ok, the call is answered by a warm, friendly female voice "Hello there sexy. What can we do for you today?"
<Julius> (( wtf when did they start having emotions? :P This is starting to scare me. ))
<AlcarGM> (( central likes confusing agents sometimes, just to keep them on their toes. And just in case someone else calls certain numbers :) ))
<Timmy`^> (( Sub-routine alpha, the advent of emotions to help newer agents feel more comfertable with making the phonecall to Internal General Use Artificial Neural Automation (I.G.U.A.N.A))

<Kate`^> "Let me ask you something.."
<Alcar> Waldo just nods. The computer shut off. "Okay."
<Kate`^> "If you could never have sex, and the very thought of it made your body burn like a hellfire... what would you do?"
<Kate`^> I"m asking waldo this.. bleh =p
<Kate`^> Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort...
<Alcar> Waldo blinks, then looks extremely confused. "Have sex?"
<Kate`^> "Yeah, Sexual intercourse, where the peni... You ok?"
<Alcar> Waldo just nods. "I never thought about it before."
<Kate`^> "You're serious?"

<Alcar> Winter: "Then I killed myself," very reluctantly. "Because I made me do it."
<Julius> ((Stop it aclar you're just doing it for effect now. :P))
<Kate`^> (( Yeah, you're making my head hurt =( ))
<Alcar> (( actually, no. ))
<Julius> (( Oh, sorry. :P I take it back, then ))
<Julius> (( :P plz don't feel insulted ))
<aslhk> ((he's telling the truth! He already told me the story! =P))

<aslhk> * Vora appears to be a highly attractive young woman, with long blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She seems athletic; thin but not too thin, toned but not too muscular. She is wearing somewhat raggedy clothing.
* aslhk imagines showing that description to an english professor who gets pissed off about "appears to be" =P

* Carl` taps the sugar, "sugar' and then thr cream 'cream'
<Vora> "What, those go in here?"
<AlcarGM> Snake stares at Vora again and shakes his head slowly
<Carl`> "Well, they're kind of like drinking condiments."
* Carl` points! "For sweetening and taking the bite out of it."
* Vora doesn't know what a condiment is, apaprently, by her expresiion.
<Vora> "it bites?" *a vbit surprised*
<AlcarGM> Snake looks at vora's expression, then hisses more laughter. Mabel looks over at the table, curious.
* Carl` widens his eyes a bit and takes another deep breath, "most plain coffee is rather bitter."
* Vora pokes at the coffee with a stirrer

<kentari> [02:16] <kentari> (( Five hours later...))
<kentari> ;P
<kentari> [02:16] <Alcar> Ok, say 20 minutes or so to do it .. starting..... now
<kentari> that's funnier :P
<AlcarGM> /ignore kentari :p

<AlcarGM> 2#d100
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 2#d100: 23 23
* AlcarGM blinks
* AlcarGM shoots sparkie and rerolls.
<TentacleMonster> roflmao
<AlcarGM> 2#d100
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 2#d100: 39 18
<TentacleMonster> they should been 33's!

<TentacleMonster> Being a giant rampaing monster just isnt fun when you arent doing it intentionally.

<AlcarGM> Mabel: "I think I said $225..." Snake looks at her and hisses very softly. She blinks, then says in a far more normal tone "We'll talk later, then." and looks at Carl. "You want a coffee on rainbow's tab?"
* Carl` shakes his head, "Maybe some other time, I'm a little unsettled, y'know?"
<AlcarGM> Snake carries Vora towards a sewer access and opens it quickly, heading down ... after pausing to get Vora's wallet and, after some hesitation, the phone as well.
<AlcarGM> (( and if he *coiuld* talk, he'd say "Don't call us, we'll call you" :p ))
<Vora> (( Now we can go to my place for a change of clothes :D ))
* Carl` points, "You be careful, now."
<Vora> (( and Snake can be further disturbed... ))
* Carl` then shakes his head some more :P
<AlcarGM> mabel nods. "Very beauty and the beast - I'm just not sure which is which.," thoughtgully.

<AlcarGM> A green coloured young kid (16 or so?) whose skin seems to be cabbage leaves comes out of the bathrom.
<Cindy> (( XD No not him! ))
<Chaos`^> (( LoL, is this a neutral zone? ))
<AlcarGM> Iron Sentinel: "It's not. If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."
<AlcarGM> (( yep. ))
<Chaos`^> (( Maybe it's break time, kind of like it's their job to fight on each side, but when not on the clock they're rather indifferant/friends =p Like those sheep/wolf cartoons you used to see ))
<AlcarGM> (( lol chaos. ))
<AlcarGM> (( unions! ))
<Chaos`^> (( LoL "I work for the hero's union number 8456, we're here to have a dispute with villian union number 4578." ))

<Chaos`^> ah, I've developed a list of things to avoid in alcar's games
<AlcarGM> oh? :p
<Lana> lets hear em!
<kentari> Coffee should be one.
<kentari> Next should be Maelstrom.
<Chaos`^> 1.) Undead, avoid it at all costs. 2.) Cats near hotels 3.) Accountants 4.) The government alwayse has the upperhand, ALWAYS 5.) Indians, they're alwayse powerful 6.) Anybody that has anything to do with spies 7.) Coffee
<Chaos`^> what am I missing?
<AlcarGM> homeless people :P
<Chaos`^> did I mention accountants?
<Chaos`^> oh, right!
<Chaos`^> 8.) Homeless people named John
<Chaos`^> or just homeless people, chances are they're named john though

* Cindy follows along, making sure Lana isn't stuffing herself with food and is following as well
* Lana has some brownie at the corners of her mouth, but is other wise sated, "Wierd, I wouldn't think brownies would be so sweet..."
<Cindy> (( I dunno how to read into that. :P ))
<AlcarGM> (( Your fairy is a cannibal! ))

* Cindy looks around the park a bit, wondering what the special occassion is for all these bands to be out here
* Cindy sees a comet fall down on a tree in the distance. :P
<AlcarGM> There doesn't seem to be one .. just small local bands trying to make money
* Cindy looks around for those guys from earlier, worried that they may have chased the bus like Needles said
<AlcarGM> theone you approach is a group of kids dressed in punk clothing, mohawks, enough leather to cause a range of cattle to run away and call themselves KFC ... they're playimng classical music on violin and drums

<AlcarGM> <Needles> walks away from the piano/clown slowly .. then stops as the Iron Sentinel lands, says something and flies away again
<Cindy> "What did the iron sentinel say?"
<AlcarGM> <Needles> ".. apologised for being in the bathroom and not coming sooner.."

<AlcarGM> <Quinn Taylor> nods to Ryan. "I'm told you're making good progress on Factor X?"
* Ryan``` nods
<Ryan```> "In fact, I've been out cold the last few hours. I've been making the cure. It uses a counter-culture of superhuman genes to heal the damage done by Factor X."
<Carl`> "Hmmm, sounds impressive."
<AlcarGM> <Quinn Taylor> "A .. interesting. I'd have never thought of that. How effective is it?"
<Cindy> (( You just invented a weapon, ryan. >:D ))
<AlcarGM> (( LOL ))
<Carl`> (kent, I swear, I just wish you would stop talking in front of alcar :P)

* Vora looks around a bit curiously for anything conspicuous.
<AlcarGM> You notice several police officers currently loading an unconscious clown whose bottom half has been turned into a piano into a police van
<Vora> (( um, wow, thats bizarre. ))
* Vora blinks

* Cindy shakes her head, "Nope! This time its really a problem!"
* Cindy points to mini-waldo once she regains her composure
<AlcarGM> Waldo looks at Cindy, then stares at, well, his own mini-me. He's struck speechless for almost 3/1000th of a second, then says "What is that?"
<Cindy> "Its Timmy Waldo the second, of course!"
<Cindy> "He says he's having hardware problems, and can't remember his new name."
<Cindy> "Can you help him?"
<AlcarGM> Waldo looks at Cindy, then says "Your name?" The "new" Waldo says "Garbage Disposable Unit R2D3."
<AlcarGM> Waldo blinks and stares at Cindy ... "That is the GARBAGE can?!"
<Cindy> "Someone went and turned him into a garbage can!"
<Cindy> "Can you believe that?"
<Cindy> "But he's all better now, except for his 'hardware' problem."
<Cindy> "So can you help him? Pleeeease?"
<AlcarGM> Waldo looks at Cindy, then says "You turned the garbage can into me?" slowly
<Cindy> "No."
<Cindy> "Someone turned him into a garbage can."
<Cindy> "Do I need to say it slower for you?"

* Vora looks at it a moment. "Oh, i know this, people want around here and the- ah- the bus comes and they all get on it, right?"
<AlcarGM> Snake nods.
<Vora> "D'ya think it'll take us where we need to go?"
<AlcarGM> He nods again.
* Vora walks over and sits on the bench.
<Vora> (( "My momma always said, life is like a box of chocolate covered rats. You never know which of them have the plauge." ))
<AlcarGM> Snake sits as well. The bus arrives 5 minutes later and the driver looks at both of you, then blinks, then says "Ah, two dollars...."
<Vora> "Oh, right..." *fishes in wallet for some money and hands it to him. Two bills of some kind :)*
<AlcarGM> The driver blinks, then stares and hands one back. "We don't do change."
<Vora> "But don't things get boring after a while, then?"
* Vora takes the one handed back back, in any case :)
<AlcarGM> He looks confused
<AlcarGM> Snake gives a hiss of laughter and he scowls, then recalls his job and says "Where are you going?"

<Sparkie> AlcarGM 1d1000: 799
<AlcarGM> d100
<Sparkie> AlcarGM d100: 16
<Julius> That's..
<Julius> :P VERY scary.
<Julius> You just rolled a d1000.
<Julius> :P
<AlcarGM> isn't it tho :)
<AlcarGM> and on purpose too.
<Julius> That's very, very, very scary.
<Julius> Its too scary.
<Julius> Goodbye.
<Julius> :P
* Julius has left #game1-ooc

* Julius smiles again. You can tell he's an executive. :P
<Carl`> (executor :P)
<Julius> (( mmmhmmm putting the laughter in slaughter, baby :P ))

<Julius> "I've been turned down by others, so I was thrilled when Vesper said you'd be able to make it."
* Carl` doesn't like the idea of the arbiters being at the beck and call of rish bastards, but we'lls see how this one plays through
<Julius> (( :P ))
<Julius> "Of course, its your choice to make."
<Julius> "You're heroes, not vending machines."

<Chaos`^> God damn you kentari!
<Chaos`^> You are giving alcar ideas!
* Alcar would rather never imagine that.
<kentari> You asked for it.
<Chaos`^> I didn't ask you to give alcar the idea to have waldo hump his smaller self!

<KenDM`^> :P What kind of world is it?
* KenDM`^ needs some details.
<Yol_Tura> well
<Yol_Tura> imagine being really really high and you made a dnd world...
<KenDM`^> Shroomform, got it.
<KenDM`^> :P
<KenDM`^> Ye olde shroomform.
<Yol_Tura> then think of the exact oposite of that and that's the world we want
<KenDM`^> Oh.
<KenDM`^> F U :P

<KenDM`^> 1d100
<Sparkie> KenDM`^ 1d100: 71
<KenDM`^> 1d100
<Sparkie> KenDM`^ 1d100: 58

<KenDM`^> Its a very small place, except for the towering temple at the edge of town opposite the side you came in from. Small houses and buildings of various purpose stand around in no particular order. Their construction is very simple, Tudor kind of styling, with thatched roofs and all that good stuff.
<KenDM`^> All about you see people dressed in simple earthen colored clothes, going about their lives. They are all smiling happily. Their smiles are very nice. ^_^ All those smiles. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ So many of them... ^_^ All alike... ^_^ All those horrid, horrid smiles! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ My GOD! They're devouring my soul! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
<KenDM`^> (( heheh.. moving on .. :P ))
<Yol_Tura> (( oh god.. not you too.. ))
<KenDM`^> (( What? :P ))
<Yol_Tura> (( First cookies..n ow smiles!? ))

<Yol_Tura> "You ok? your face seems stuck..."
<KenDM`^> <Zellos> "... Huh?"
* Yol_Tura grabs the corners of zellos mouth and tries to move them down al ittle
<KenDM`^> No luck.
<KenDM`^> <Zellos> "Erm.. what ARE you doing?"
<Yol_Tura> "Your face is stuck... You're just smiling... Don't you ever frown?"
* Garon stares at Yol_Tura in a horrified facination, much lik someone would have watching Jerry Springer guests on Jeopardy
<KenDM`^> <Zellos> "... What? I'm fine."
<KenDM`^> You see the bartender. He's smiling as well.
<Yol_Tura> "How depressing."
<KenDM`^> <Bartender> "Hi there! What can I get for you today?"
<Yol_Tura> "Uh... I'll have a dark beer, touch of mint on the side, and a slice of lemon."
* Garon comes to the even more terrifying realization that Yol Tura made a good point.

<Yol_Tura> "Uh... Yeah sure... You're not staying for a drink?"
<KenDM`^> The bartend turns around and is holding a mug with a bit of mint and a lemon in it.
<KenDM`^> <Bartender> "We're fresh outta beer, sorry.."
<KenDM`^> He hands you the mug, "anything else you'd want?"
<Yol_Tura> "Oh... uhm... What do you have?"
<KenDM`^> He ponders for a moment.
<KenDM`^> <Bartender> "We've got water."
<Yol_Tura> "Oh, right.. water.... Uh, yeah, give me a double.."
* Yol_Tura pretends to know what he's talking about, but has never tried this 'water'

<KenDM`^> You find a girl who looks about Zellos' age close by, she is also smiling. :P
<KenDM`^> <Girl> "Can I help you?"
<Yol_Tura> is she hot?
<KenDM`^> If you're into girls who smile, she's like Venus.
<KenDM`^> :P
<Yol_Tura> I'm into tits and ass man
<KenDM`^> Well then you couldn't tell, the robes kind of don't compliment features very well :P
* Yol_Tura licks his hand and pulls his long greasy hair back
<Yol_Tura> "What was your name?"
<KenDM`^> <Lana> "Erm. Lana. What's yours?"
<Yol_Tura> "I'm Yol. Hey, I'm an adventurer, you want to come on an adventure with me?"
<KenDM`^> <Lana> "..." She giggles.

<Carl> "I'm guessing we're just going to have to kidnap you for a bit, Mr. Alternate Alpha."
<Julius> "WHAT?!"
<Carl> "Well, unless you wanna spill the beans on why your here."
<Julius> "I'm here because I opened my eyes and found this guy trying to drive my car."
<Carl> "Ok, we've established this as very posible bullshit."
<Carl> "What else you got?"

<Carl> "Honestly, what is your connectiosn with Winter? I mean, seriously. THings are happening, big things. And I'm trying to place you in the scheme, being the rogue card at this point."
<Julius> "I'm not a rogue card..."
<Julius> ".. I'm a wild card."
<Julius> "I can't explain the conection."
<Carl> "Why?"
<Julius> "It stretches beyond the timestream and reaches across space."
<Carl> "Oh, thats all?"

<Julius> "But right now, there's a bigger trap being set up.."
<Julius> "Seer told me about it. Do you know about it?"
<AlcarGM> Winter: "By me?" in a bitter tone you've never heard from him.
<AlcarGM> He shakes his head
<Julius> ".. What?"
<Julius> "By you? Did I offend you..? I'm sorry.."
<AlcarGM> Winter: "Who else would trap me? I mean, I trapped myself to KILL myself..." pause... "that sounded stupid..."

<Carl> wtf, we aren't hubris PC's this isn't fair!

<AlcarGM> Mabel smiles. "I know the feeling. You want anything to go?"
<Julius> "No, thanks though."
<Julius> (( "Actually, yes. I'd like Adam to go (away), please." :P ))
<AlcarGM> She nods, then says "It's none of my business, but you might want to be careful. This is a bad part of town."
<Vora> (( Yeah, cause theres a Starbucks there. ))

<AlcarGM> Mael feels the pain end, abruptly, as it never was. But for a brief moment he seesm himself killing void.... then it's gone
<Mael> (when did i kill void?)
<Julius> (( Just now. You thought you saw it. :P ))
<AlcarGM> (( you haven't - yet ))
<Mael> (why would i?)
<Julius> (( Dude its a vision ))
<AlcarGM> (( *smiles* ))
<Julius> (( :P They don't come with captions. ))
<Mael> "Why....why did I see myself killing my father?"
<Vora> (( Deeply seeded issues of abandonment? ))

<Regis`> "Martha, or "Cthulhu" as she likes to be called, took the cheese into another dimension, and we gotta get it. but we cant do that unless we change our names to bill and ted. bill and ted go on excellent adventures and shit. and we gotta do this. can you help us?"
<AlcarGM> <Judge Hawthorne> "I can help you... pay for your sins!"
* Regis` smacks the judge with the gavel
<AlcarGM> You knock him out.
<AlcarGM> <OJ> "Woah, sweet.. I shoulda used a hammer.."
<Johnny> "SHUT UP OJ!"
<AlcarGM> <Johnny> "I'll have a cheeseburger.."

<Regis`> "CHANGE OUR NAMES and i'll get you a cheeseburger."
<AlcarGM> <Johnny> "Fine. What names do you want?"
<Regis`> "Bill and Ted."
<AlcarGM> <Johnny> "And for the other guy?"

<Theliar`Sortahere^> "So what are we doing here anyway?"
<Orgg> "I was invading."
<Orgg> "What are you doing here?"
<Theliar`Sortahere^> "Trying to save your butt... It seems your small army left you behind alone."
* Orgg waves his hand dismissively
<Orgg> "Cowards, all. I am glad to see you have some mettle, at least."
<Orgg> "The other side fled as well."
<Theliar`Sortahere^> What were they running from if both sides ran?
* Orgg shrugs
<Orgg> "Not sure."
<Theliar`Sortahere^> "I won't run because I'm scared."

<AlcarDM> The servants quarters consists of about 10 servants, old and young, currently relaxing and playing some card game at a table.
* Orgg strolls through the kitchen without sparing a glance for the servants.
<AlcarDM> Old servant: "OK, yeah, but I'm tapping this land, so you can't attack ..." A young kid sighs "Yes, but I have UN in play, and it can attack any land. Along with my christian Missionary Pamphlet brigade who I have beserked and..... and what was that?"
<AlcarDM> The servants stop the game to watch the half orc with the sword walk towards the kitchens
<Ghenn```> ((wow.))
<AlcarDM> After a few seconds, one says "Maybe the cook cooked his family? Would explain the stew, eh?"
<Theliar`Sortahere^> (( They're playing Democracy! ))
<Ghenn```> ((Democracy: The Conquering))

* Ghenn``` makes himself look a little more peasant like, settles the stuff he stole from the captain (weaponry and whatnot) upon the undergarments, and accidentally walks into the dining room, making sure he's seen before trying to correct his error :)
<Ghenn```> this is either going to kill me, or be incredibly fun :)

<Orgg> 1d20+9 teh laemer speek wil help me 2 atak u no lolmao =P
<Sparkie> Orgg 1d20+9: 29(20) teh laemer speek wil help me 2 atak u no lolmao =P
<AlcarDM> ........
<Ghenn```> ... holy shit. that's scary, aslhk
<kentari> ...
<kentari> :P Quote that.
<Ghenn```> this will be a fitting end to the double combat :)

<AlcarDM> The baron falls to his knees with a strangled scream, his eyes wide... and smoke coming out of the sockets where his eyes were.. "THE master knows! The master seeks....... thief... can't hide...... he knows!" in a cracked voice. A wave of greyt light exoplodes from the amulet right through him and into the room at large
<AlcarDM> You feel a jult of pain (7 damage) as the light washes through you, and screams from the rest of the room as some dark magic crashes into them. Servants and nobility alike either die or fall to the ground writhing in agony.
* Ghenn``` roars in pain, falling to the ground himself before trying to compose himself
<AlcarDM> The baron's body is smoking and charred, flesh hanging off of muscle.. bone showing through on the arms and he's giving small, hiccupping sobs.
<AlcarDM> The mercenary is standing, barely, and schorched badly.
* Ghenn``` uses the captain's sword to retrieve the amulet, not wanting to touch the blighted thing
<AlcarDM> The mercenary throws the dagger right into the Baron's skull. The Baron makes a strangled noise, somehow even whiloe dying fumbling for the cursed item,then falls to the ground
<Ghenn```> "That went a lot worse than the way I had pictured it."

<Ghenn```> "Oh pisser. We haven't found the title to the barony. We need to get it before the kender finds it!"
* Orgg laughs
<Orgg> "What does it look like?"
* Ghenn``` is running back to the manor in a very silly and light-hearted fashion
* Orgg speeds up his walk to keep pace with Ghenn```.
<Ghenn```> "It's paper, with... well, dammit, it looks like the deed to the land, for crikies sake! If it looks fancy, show it to me!"

<AlcarDM> you do find a few of men and men, one of women and women and one involving an elf and a horse.
<AlcarDM> The elf and horse one is not in good shape, though,. Lots of viewings.
<Orgg> "I didn't know elves were that strong..."
* Orgg closes the book quickly and puts *that* one back on the shelf.
<Orgg> we don't need that sort of deed!
<Orgg> =P

<AlcarDM> The wizards tower still has the decomposing body that looks like diseased jello by the dumbwaiter.. the actuall door is on the outside of the tower and covered in lots of ornate runes
<Orgg> "Oh. This is the tower you wanted to investigate. I just went up there."
* Orgg points to the dumbwaiter.
<AlcarDM> Ghenn notices the forbidding runes are dwarvish . .and consist of various ways of saying "Hi!"
<AlcarDM> Clearly a demented sort.
<Ghenn```> gods almighty...

<Orgg> "In the basement, you say?"
<Ghenn```> "He went on about some Master who knew what I had done. I think I've got a demon, or dark wizard or something after me now."
<Ghenn```> "Yes. But we should probably give Theliar time to get back. And I could really use some rest."
* Orgg nods
<Orgg> "The wizard was gibbering about a master, too."
<Orgg> "I had to kill him before I can find out more. You know how wizards are.'
<Ghenn```> ((well, we don't know that, and it'll be a good excuse to keep Orgg from dragging me to my fourth attempt at an untimely death in the last two sessions i've played :))
<Orgg> "It's gibbering one moment, lightning bolts from the fingers the next."

<Orgg> "I don't think it is here."
<Ghenn```> "I would like to hope not."
<Orgg> "Just means we'll have to travel farther to destroy it."
<Ghenn```> "I'll take vast power and distance over slightly less vast power and proximity any day."
* Ghenn``` looks at Orgg
<Ghenn```> "Or, at least, today." *sighs*

<AlcarDM> A blast of warm air - hear from a fire of some kind - comes up from below. The stairs are stone and the place has a damom cloying smell to the air
* Ghenn``` opens the door and draws his sword, then opts for a chunk of wood that will double as a good club, in case there are skeletons down here. Damned multiple types of undead.
<Theliar`^> (( What's a damom cloying smell? ))
<AlcarDM> err, damp. Sorry
<Theliar`^> (( What's a damp cloying smell? ))
<Ghenn```> (lol))
<Theliar`^> (( I"m serious ))
<AlcarDM> (( uh .... damp, as in wet, from water in the cement. Cloyis is a smnell that's so rich it becomes unpleasant ))

<Theliar`^> "Orgg.. Take the boy, Ghenn get the girl.. I'm going to check out the house.."
<AlcarDM> The girl sdhakes her head frantically,. "It's his house. No one ..... no one can survive it..."
<Theliar`^> "It'll be ok... The goddess is with me.."
<Ghenn```> "Whoa elf. You aren't going alone."
<Theliar`^> "No, I'm going with the goddess.."
<AlcarDM> 'The girl steps closer to Ghenn, as if for warmth, and shakes her head. "Not there. No one is there but Him...."
<Orgg> "The goddess will protect him."

<AlcarDM> The air is cold, freezing you right to the bone and the air is hot and stagnant, like like trying to breath t he smell of burning tires
<Theliar`^> (( Hey, it's better than 1000 years in the pond ))
<AlcarDM> You seem to be in a halway, with walls of dark grey stone and the ground under you moving, and sticking.. like a river of blood frozen solid, but flecked with silver and gold. The windows in the wall show.... things.. insects the size of men, strange skies never seen before and strange creatures you have no name for
<AlcarDM> There is nothing behind you except a void
* Theliar`^ makes note of where he is, and the void, hoping that it will lead him home...
* Theliar`^ takes his first step forward to see if he is smitten again =p
<AlcarDM> yuiop can see some cobwebs, msot thick and grey and old, dotting the ceiling
* Theliar`^ holds his axe closer, gripping it tightly
* Theliar`^ has white knuckles and is rather affraid
<Theliar`^> hell I'm scared as a player

* Garon looks desperate and hands Lana the piece of paper
<Yol_Tura> "Ah, good... no need to thank me.. Anyway, noneck and I are discussing the details now, care to join us?"
<KenDM> <Lana> *she looks at it* "Oh. Noneck can't speak?"
<KenDM> She frowns, looking at Garon.
<Yol_Tura> "He can't?"
<Yol_Tura> "He just talked to the Cardinal though."
<KenDM> <Lana> *nods* "That would explain why he doesn't talk much.."

* Garon write Garon .. on it and points to himself.
* Garon stares at Lana's comment and wonders which god hates him....
<Yol_Tura> "How did he talk to the cardinal if he can't speak?" jokingly
<KenDM> <Lana> "Ohh.. He used a Garon."
<KenDM> She blinks a minute.
<KenDM> <Lana> "What's a Garon?"
* Garon points to himself
<KenDM> <Lana> "Yes, I know YOU used it."
<Yol_Tura> "He used a Garon to talk to the cardinal?"
<KenDM> <Lana> *nods* "Apparently so."
* Yol_Tura looks at noneck
* Garon stares at both of you in something like horror

<KenDM> <Lana> "Right. Garon is his NAME, apparently."
<Yol_Tura> "Oh... So he used his name to talk to the Cardinal? Isn't that like.. high level magic stuff?"
<KenDM> <Lana> "Yeah.. which is why I don't wanna make him angry...."
<Yol_Tura> "Yeah, me neither... I wonder how he chants his name if he can't talk.."
<KenDM> Lana is slowly moving to the side of the bench that's furthest from Garon :P

<Julius> :P I am beyond your physics.
<Carl> oh yeah?
<Carl> I am beyond your nonsense :P

<KenDM> Jarra you see... a pixie. In full plate, holding a medium sized mallet in two hands, beating the hell out of some bandits.
<KenDM> <Lana> "Oh.. but, won't they be in trouble?"
<Yol_Tura> (( This pixie is how big? ))
<KenDM> (( Small size. :P ))
<Yol_Tura> (( The mallet is how big? ))
<KenDM> <Pixie> "Look.. I've got a large, painful weapn here... you guys BETTER tell me where you put it."
<KenDM> (( Its a medium sized weapon. :P ))
<KenDM> (( He's holding it in two hands ))
<Yol_Tura> (( And he's carrying it!? ))
<KenDM> (( Though you could hold it in one ))
<KenDM> (( d00d D&D sizes. Pixies are about the size of halflings :P ))

<Piotr`> I though Hubris was Fed up.

<AlcarGM> and someherre the GM laughs evilly....
<AlcarGM> :p
<Carl> even my irl Gm isn't this evil and hell, he's the type to hold an OOC grudge IC :P
<Carl> not saying you do, its just an incongruent comparison :P

<Kate`^> Fear leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to the darkside!
<Julius> bah
<AlcarGM> no, suffering leads to angst
<AlcarGM> which is worse
<Julius> :P That it does
<Julius> wel
<Julius> suffering can lead to laughter.
<AlcarGM> Anbd makes sad little jedi say things like: Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
<Julius> cuz u know..
<Julius> you can't spell slaughter w/o laughter

<Kate`^> "I alwayse thought dryads were reserved and shy..."
<Kate`^> "I was missinformed."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "No duh!"
<Kate`^> "Well... What brought you to liking sex so much?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "You dont't?!"
<Kate`^> "Well.. It's fun when done at the right time.. in the right place.. with the right person.. But not EVERYBODY EVERYTIME EVERYWHERE which is what you do."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "of course it is! Each time is special!"
<Kate`^> "It is more special if you only do it with those that deserve it!"
<AlcarGM> Sara stops at that, looking shocked. "Who doesn't?!"

<Kate`^> "How old are you Sara?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "17!"
<Kate`^> "No, really.. How many years have you been alive?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "..... are you confused! I just said!"
<Kate`^> "How many kids do you have?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "I lost count!"
<Kate`^> OMFG!
<Kate`^> "What do you do with them?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "I eat them! All up! Good to the last drop!"

* Kate`^ wonders if acorns are good to the last drop >=)
<Julius> omg.
<Julius> you're eating her tree
<Julius> :P You bitch.
<AlcarGM> ROFL

* Vora throws Paradigm into a wall when he rushes them all out into the hall! :P
<AlcarGM> The nurse stands, her body almost consumed by light: "I will not be denied!" in a voice that has echoes of trumpets in it, and wrath.
* Paradigm attempts to dodge!
* Vora glances at the nurse. "Um, you're starting to freak me out..."
<Vora> (( you rushed into me, I used your momentum againt you, foo! :P ))
<Paradigm> ((i'm so totally able to phase. this makes throwing me into things with efficiency a bit harder, foo!))
<Vora> (( well phase through the wall then, you said you tried to dodge :P ))
<Paradigm> ((that's a dodge!))

<aslhk> Paradigm is here! =P
<kentari> lol awesome bali
<kentari> we can team up
<kentari> and fight crime
<kentari> tho my power would turn u into teh debil
<kentari> and id have yet ANOTHER problem
<AlcarGM> But you'd only have the problem for a very short time!
<AlcarGM> Cause then you'd be dead
<kentari> :P d00d
<aslhk> he has a point!
<kentari> being dead at this point is an appealing option
<kentari> :P

<Kate`^> "How far south? As in how much water should I bring?"
<AlcarGM> Jeeves: "perhaps 3 days walk."
* Kate`^ nods
<Kate`^> "Alright.. Sara, you hear that?"
<AlcarGM> Sara nods: "We can meet someone else!"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "And have a threesome!"
<Kate`^> "I don't think this Art wants a threesome.."
* Kate`^ searches herself for anythign that will carry water, as she is going to head south for 3 days
<Kate`^> "Ah.. Which way's south?"
<AlcarGM> LOL!
<AlcarGM> Jeeves points the direction to both of you,and wishes you luck :)

<kentari> Ok Chaos its on.
<kentari> We are keeping score.
<kentari> Of how many chixors we get in ios.
<Chaos`^> Ok!
* Alcar blinks
<aslhk> and he'll let theliar know when eh's going to dump them, so he can be in the right place at the right time to say bad things about lee to get teh sex0r! =P
<Alcar> You really want to do that?
<Alcar> What do transvestites count as?
<Chaos`^> Theliar already gets a check, 'cause the goddess is TOTALLY his!
<aslhk> if they're females dressed as males they count! =P
<Chaos`^> if they got a... nevermind..
<kentari> ok well listen
<Caltak> do herms count twice?

* Alcar just had to make the tolkein joke :)
<kentari> ok I'm typing teh rules now
<Chaos`^> you're so going down!
* Alcar is waiting for the time when some scholar decides tro search his works for proof he was a writing gay novel :p
<aslhk> tolkien is rathe rfunny =P
* Alcar has seen sillier things.
<aslhk> you could be that man, Alcar!
<Alcar> LOL! Imagine trying that seriously..
<Alcar> Symbolism of the One Ring, or, Domimance Games of Middle Earth
<Alcar> the 9 kings on horses.. fetishes! Furries!~
<aslhk> Alcar: the orcs were smothered (symbolism of gay individuals kept in the closet until they become homicidal maniacs like dahmer!? =P)
<Alcar> Mordor: Land of Sexual Freedom! (or, How Tolkien Thought Gay Marriage Would Ruin The World)

<AlcarDM> Tamil: "I can get him back. I could go to the House and get him back." But she doesn't move. "He .... he sacrificed himself ... for me. Things that shulod have broken us, he got both, and he had to go deep for healing, he .... slept with thins... thins that warped him ...... and the Master still .....still..... hurt me. Tried to. He did that, and I can't go back for him. I... just can't."
* Lee` puts his hand on Tamil's shoulder.
<Lee`> "Then.. that's that?"
<Lee`> (( *Soooo designated* :P ))
<Orgg> "I will go to this house and bring him back."
<Orgg> "Where is it?"
<Lee`> "You just said it was gone."
* Lee` raises an eyebrow.
<AlcarDM> Tamil fliches at the touch, but doesn't move. "No .... no. The.. master will send him back. For me. Fire kils them. He was my brother...."
* Orgg shrugs
<Lee`> "Now .. now I'm just plain confused."
<Orgg> "It was in the basement."
<Lee`> "What was?"
<Lee`> (( "the house" XD ))
<Orgg> "The House"
<Orgg> (( =-P))

<AlcarDM> tamil: "Weapons just ... break. I tried, with a dagger, from the armoury. the elf gave it to me, of a dragon. It ... broke."
* Orgg nods
<Lee`> (( Hrm. Dunno what to say to that :> ))
<Orgg> "I have heard rumours of weapons that do not break."
<Lee`> (( I've got innuendos, mind you, but non of them really fit as well as I'd wish :P ))
<Orgg> (("I have a big sword." =P))
<Lee`> (( :> Basically. ))
<AlcarDM> (( that was a good one :p ))
<Lee`> (( :P yeah ))
<Orgg> (( yes, unintentional on orgg's part, too! =P ))
<Lee`> "Hrm.. perhaps we could look for such a weapon, then."
<AlcarDM> Tamil: "So was it. Tooth of the first dragon, I was told, when it was given to me. But it didn't work and the Master ...."\
* Orgg nods
<Lee`> "My sword isn't known for its durability."
* Lee` sighs.
<Lee`> (( :> ))
<Tass> (innuendo gone horribly wrong!)
<Orgg> ((lol))
<Lee`> (( XD ugh. not intentional. ))

<Theliar`^> "Who is our company?"
<Orgg> "Lirk has come with reinforcements."
<Theliar`^> (( Who's infront of me right now? ))
<Lee`> (( Orgg and the 20 or so ppl ))
<Lee`> (( I'm hiding off the side of the road w/ Tamil close by. :> ))
<Theliar`^> (( Oh, ok ))
<Orgg> "Theliar, the boy has left. He sprouted wings and flew away."
<Theliar`^> "The boy... sprouted... Wings?"
<AlcarDM> The men look at each other warily
* Orgg nods

* Theliar`^ is a common elf, though you don't get to see many. He has greasy blond hair, and deep blue eyes. His face is dirty as if he spent the night in a mud pile, and his robes are tattered and worn. He looks around with a sort of fright one would see a deer being stalked make. He walks with a shake in his legs and has a very heavy step.
<Theliar`^> "Hello."
<Lee`> "So ...."
<Lee`> "you're an elf, huh?"
<Lee`> "Hrm.. you look like you've lost a fight."
<Theliar`^> "Yes, I am an elf."
<Theliar`^> "I could use a bath and a new robe..."
<Lee`> "Yes, you could.."
* Orgg chortles
* Lee` thinks to himself, 'This is what I will look like if I become an adventurer..' :P

* Ryu_Featherfoot kinda goes off a bit.. "What is it?"
<AlcarDM> Slim: "Personal stuff, Master. I've been with lots of dark lords, and the human is cute. So...Have you ever .... you know?" Undead skeletons don't bliush, but you get the feeling Slim would if he could. "had sex? With someone? Or som thing?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Not that I know of... why?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "You don't meen??"
<AlcarDM> Slim: "Oh. Well. Just checking. I lknew some dark lords....:" he strails off, looking uncomfortable. "The did stuff I left rooms rather than see. Repressed lot, really. Attention issues, lack of self esteem, mutilating people just because they wanted them ot be as ugly on the inside as they wrre., Likely all bottle fed, the lot of them."
<AlcarDM> Slim: "And they all came ot really bad ends. Even for dark lords. I'd just not like ot see you do that."
* Ryu_Featherfoot looks a bit horrified

<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Yah but where, I could use the use of some dragons fire..."
<AlcarDM> Slim sighs. "Fine then. It was a warning."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Not for you, I've still got the skull of your last master remember?"
<AlcarDM> Slim: "Oh. Hrm. We'd need to find a dragon, then, And they're rather rare."
<AlcarDM> Slim: "And mostly cranky. Lots of confused knights seeking lost princesses who went off with their one true love who did NOT smell like his horse and wear chainmail to bed does that to them, I've found. And the knights assume adragon got her and .. Well, at that point it's academic really, as to whether they become heros or lunch."

* Cainis growls at Jamar "This is not our time to die, yet it is yours."

<Lee`> "Now.. what I don't know, is history."
<Lee`> "How old is Tamil? When was she last seen? Stuff like that."
<Lee`> "What is she expected to do, should she become the baroness."
* Lee` looks to Lirk.
<AlcarDM> Lirk look a bit uncomfortable. "I don't know politics."
<Lee`> "Any ideas..?"
* Orgg shrugs
<Lee`> "Oh. Well.. do you know anyone who does, that we could trust?"
<Orgg> "I don't know politics either. We will ask the cook."
<Lee`> "... The cook knows politics?"
* Orgg shrugs
<Orgg> "If he doesn't he will know someone who does."
<Lee`> "Good point.."
<Lee`> "Hrm.."
<AlcarDM> And these are the people who replaced a barony! :p
<Orgg> ((two, now! =P))

* Lee` looks to Lirk, "Those men you had with you, could they be trusted to help out?"
<AlcarDM> Likr hesitates, then says "I don't know. They just came because I ordered them, because I told them I was Baron and could. Because the land and the hgost said it was right to do. But they came for the baron and not me."
<Orgg> "You still must prove yourself to them."
<Orgg> "But there is no one left to fight..." Orgg looks thoughtful
<Orgg> "Have you been practicing with your sword?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk shrugs, trying for an offhanded tone, but sounding scared "There will be ships."
<Orgg> "Better that your men trust you for that battle."
<AlcarDM> Lirk nods "I have been. I don't want to die too quickly," earnestly
* Orgg nods
<Orgg> "If indeed you must die, you will sell your life dearly."

<Theliar`^> lirk needs a lesson in morale
<Theliar`^> if I had time, I'd starve him for a few days, and leave him in a field alone, and then tell him not to do it to his troops, or they'd hate him as he hated me right then

<Theliar`^> "Do you fear her?"
<AlcarDM> she nods.
<Theliar`^> "Why?"
<AlcarDM> Tamil: "If there IS a goddess, why didn't she save me?!"
<AlcarDM> j/k
<AlcarGM> Tamil: "Because gods don't care about us! We're just tools to them!"
<AlcarGM> is the real one :p
<Theliar`^> that's worse!
<Theliar`^> dammit!

<Ryu_Featherfoot> "I guess I should learn to cook some time huh?"
<AlcarDM> Lisha glares at the pot as if willing it to melt, then says "I never got the knack of it."
* Ryu_Featherfoot nods
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "I'm sure there was some dried goods around here some where.."
<AlcarGM> Lisha scowls and goes looking for some. "Maybe the boy can cook?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> <Ryu_Featherfoot> "Never thought of that..."
* Ryu_Featherfoot goes and asks
<AlcarGM> The boy is in the main hall, tryying to mimic slim and doesn't seem able to
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Um.. Don't try for that one too hard.."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Can eather of you two cook?"
<AlcarGM> The boy returns to his normal shape, and slumps agianst the floor... then turns into a weird blob and seems ot be resting
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Well thats one no..."
<AlcarGM> Slim stares at the blob, nonplussed for a moment, then says "Ah.. yes."

<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Great, your the offishal cook around here now"
<AlcarGM> Slim: "....."
<AlcarGM> Slim: "Right."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Go look in the kitchen, you will see my point.."
<AlcarGM> slim walks in, muttering something about "millenia of service, eaten by dragons, stared on my hydra, killing sadhya, serving the Evil . .and now a COOK ...... Oh. My." he walks back out "I see your point, master."

<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Well nice to know thats settled..."
<AlcarDM> Lisha: "Undead skeleton gourmet cooking. Just what I always look forward...." she looks at the blob. "to...?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "The boy..."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "well puddle now..."
<AlcarDM> Lisha looks at it ..... "Facinating. I hope that's just him sleeping. I'd he a bit shocked if that happened randomly."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Umm.. yah, may need to get him a bucket, don't want him soaking into anything..."
<AlcarDM> Lisha: "Afraid of ruining the carpets?" dryly
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "nah, ground water"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Would hate to see the boy become deluted"

<Orgg> "What's stopping you?"
<Lee`> "I think you should walk back to the barony like that."
* Lee` says that to Theliar!
* Theliar`^ growls and puts on his old robe
* Theliar`^ raises his hands up in the air defeated
<Theliar`^> "I sometimes wonder why I follow you around! I'm glad I'm leaving!"
<Lee`> "Wait, you're leaving?"
<Lee`> "oh come on.. everyone gets caught naked with a woman sometime in their life"
<Lee`> "Seriously. You're exposing elven secrets. Put some clothes on, man."

<Theliar`^> "I need a new robe still..."
* Lee` dicks around in his pack for another set o clothes. :P
<Lee`> digs.
<Lee`> omfg.
<Lee`> :P
<Lee`> mind. out. of. gutter.
* Lee` shoots himself :P

Lee` speaks to Theliar, "Well... I wouldn't be able to handle myself as well as you did."
<Theliar`^> "What do you mean?"
<Theliar`^> "What situation?"
<Lee`> "..."
<Lee`> "You getting caught in the act by the inn, in general."
<Theliar`^> "Act? I was hardly doing the 'act' besides... I don't think I can... i think clerics of the goddess are celebit."
<Lee`> "Let me get this right."
<Lee`> "You 'think' you're celebit?"
<Theliar`^> "Uhm... yes."
<Lee`> "So what were you doing, experimenting?"

* Theliar`^ orders a room from the innkeeper
<AlcarGM> Ok. He says its on the house
* Theliar`^ nods and goes to the nearest decent looking woman
<Theliar`^> "You, me, bump uglies, now, in my room."
* Theliar`^ shows her the room number and key, and leaves
* Theliar`^ mumbles something about getting killed and burning in hell

<AlcarGM> Ok, Orgg and Tamil find Lee talking and listening to Mother Rumour on their way back
* Lee` looks to Orgg and Tamil as the person finishes saying stuff about somesuch.
<Lee`> "Thanks for the information."
<Orgg> "Heading back now."
<Lee`> "Right. From what I hear.. this should work if we do it right."
<AlcarGM> the old man nods 'It's like I said, the baron isn't dead, he's just faking it! He put himself in a box and we won't know if he's dead 'r alive till we open it. 's like all tombs that wat. All cats in boxes, they is."
<AlcarGM> the old man wanders off
* Lee` looks to the woman
<Lee`> "Is anyone feeding him?!"
* Lee` shrugs and walks off :P

<kentari> If I had a mansion in ios
<kentari> It would be staffed by kender in dominatrix outfits
<kentari> :>

<KenDM> <Lana> "You went and drank that stuff."
<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> "It was pretty good... I think."
<KenDM> <Lana> "nuh-uh, you could've been killed or something, that stuff didn't look too safe..."
<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> "Oh.. Well a god can't just die.."
* Yol_turaandTheliar`^ grabs a random set of clothes from the other bandits and redresses himself infront of everyone
<Jarra> (( I missed why he thinks hes a god, I think :P ))
<KenDM> (( :P be happy of that. ))

<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> "You're a good woman, but I don't think I'm a normal elf... I think... under... differant circimstances... it might have been differant, but I have a... human touch to me now.. I don't know what it is."
<Garon> Lirane: "A.. what? You're a halfie?"
<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> "Hardly. I don't know what it is..."
<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> (( It's called his player can't stand the thought of doing it with an old old lady that probably drags her breasts on the floor >_< ))
<Garon> (( metegaming! metagaming! *taunts* ))
<Yol_turaandTheliar`^> (( I'm sorry, I have my limits ))

<AlcarDM> Lirk doesn't. "I shouldn't have said that, I guess. Sorry. I guess you don't like people knowing?"
* Orgg starts to nod, then looks confused again
<Orgg> "Knowing something that would tarnish my honour?"
* Orgg starts to look worried, and thinks *really* hard about the ceremony in which Lirk became baron.
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "No! Just ... you made meBaron. I .. I want to live up to that."
<Orgg> "But what does that have to do with...?"
* Orgg trails off, then just looks frustrated
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "With what?" looking confused now
<Orgg> ((lol, this is the most horrible conversation I have ever had =P))

<kentari> poor lirk
<kentari> he's gonna have more lirk moments
<kentari> tell me alcar
<kentari> does lirk know about.. well..
<kentari> has he got "the talk"? :P
<kentari> received*
<aslhk> Orgg almost gave it to him, but they got sidetracked =P
<Alcar> And confused :P
<kentari> ARGH! NO!
<kentari> :P I have to do it?!
<kentari> :/ no pun intended.
<aslhk> it looks like it! =P

<FirestormZero> you soo need to bust out old-school fairy tales :)
<Alcar> tho mostly it's npcs that are the cliches :)
<Alcar> players get annoyed when that happens :p
* Alcar has done it before
<FirestormZero> players are masochists, deep down they really like it :)
<FirestormZero> and if they don't yah just hit them harder!

<Maccabee> "You are the only one who resists us. I am laughed at and put to shame on your account. Why are you displaying power against us in the mountains?"
<Chaos`^> (( Gemm scares me =( ))
<Zellos> "Ah, well, sorry about that, Mr....?"
<Zellos> (( :P ))
<Maccabee> (What? This is all coming from the bible.)
<Chaos`^> (( That's what scares me... you're actually reading this thing for quotes to put into a dnd game lol =p ))

<kentari> (( Cats do like 1d4 ))
<kentari> (( the average peasant has 4 hp ))
<kentari> (( don't anger kitty. :P ))

<Tokan> "Tokan cutie pie. Mom said so," firmly.
<Jenni> "And my momma said stupid is as stupid does! Can't figure out what that means though!"
* Will` glares
<Will`> "It means shut the fuck up, little girl!"
<Jenni> "Waaah... why?"
<Will`> "Ask your mother."
<Jenni> "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry..."
* Jenni frowns.
* Tokan scowls at Will, then remembers more family homilies. "Talk nice to girl. Or no make baby!"

<Jenni> "Hey! Don't you think it's time for a picnic?"
<Devin> "Sure. But uhm..."
<Keith> Will mananges to clear the bush and get behind it with out touching it
<Jenni> "OOh! And i can bring you, and that really tall orcy thingie, and the little guy!"
<Devin> "We only just met."
* Jenni smiles
<Jenni> "Oh! I'm Jenni! Sorry, I forget that other people don't know my name sometimes!"
<Jenni> (( that has to be the stupidest thing i've ever said.))
<Will`> ((lol, that is awesome))

<Keith> so tempted to burn will at the stake..
<Will`> lol
<Will`> that'd be great =p
<Tokan> lol

<FirestormZero> Meanwhile in another part of town, Calimar wasn't paying enough attention, and thus gets ripped to pieces by zombies.
<FirestormZero> <Z1> "URRRRK" <Z2> "AAAARRGH" <Z3> "Murrrr"
<FirestormZero> <Calimar> "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
<FirestormZero> (( i enjoyed that. ))

* Tarika takes a 5 foot step diagnolly to the north east. She begins waving her hands rapidly in anti-parallel circles! As the motion intensifies she shouts... "FIRESTORM!" and unleashes the fury of a nova in the bottom right corner of the arena, blanketing Kiv in Tilco, warming them with hot, flaming, Death!.
<Tarika> er wrong channel...
<Alcar> when does she stop waving them?
<Tarika> oh, she doesn't
<Tarika> she speaks sign language. :)
<aslhk> ur ly
* Tarika makes gestures to aslhk.
<Alcar> new prestige class: The Aerobic! Prereq: 3 levels in spell casting, 8 ranks in acrobatics. Cannot take [feat that leyts you do spells w/o gestures whose name I forget]. Gains spells by doing workot each morning.
<Tarika> Burn off those love handles! Along with your enemies!
<Alcar> "Don't think Fireball 80' away, think Fireball 30' away, get in close, jog, and build up a good sweat to the accompaniment of the screeams of the drying! AND the smell of charred flesh wil ensure you throw up breaskfast and lose weight! call now for free demonstration. Being fireballed on is optional. If you wantto see it performed, bring a fat friend!"
<aslhk> the screeams of the drying! =P
* Alcar has got to stop doing more than one thing as once, especially when the other was writing in lamer speak :P

<AlcarGM> Ok.... what were the two of you planning to do?
<Julius> We were gonna save the world! :P more or less.
<Vora> (( Again? How boring. ))
<Carl> uh... but some vaseline? cause I have a feeling this is going to be rough :P
<Vora> (( you gotta stop and smell the roses. And I don't mean the plant. *nudge nudge* ))

* Kate`^ looks at sara and smiles
<Kate`^> "There is more to life than just Sex."
* Kate`^ pulls sara with her into the kitchen, as she is very hungry
<AlcarGM> Sara shakes her hea slightly. then says "But without sex there isn't life!"

<AlcarGM> Waldo: "Damn it! There can't be enoug ghosts to process the CIA database....."
<Julius> "What?"
<Vora> (( Mmm, thermoptic camoflage.. ))
<AlcarGM> Waldo: "Ghosts to power an AI. it would make sense, for processing speeds."
<Julius> "Uhm... Sure."
<Vora> (( oh shut up, it makes no sense and you know it! ))
<Julius> (( :P It makes perfect sense ))
<Kate`^> (( And they can all fit in a processor too! ))
<Julius> (( Limbo Inside. >P ))
<Julius> (( Lazo Processors, Inc. :P ))

* Orgg just realized that Orgg would rather tell someone the truth and kill him than lie =P

<AlcarDM> Lirk nods, then says "Can we - do the ritual - now?"
* ``Tamil`` goes :[ ]
<``Tamil``> "Erm. Uhm. You're kind of .. eager."
<``Tamil``> "Do you even know what's involved?"
* ``Tamil`` smirks
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "No."
<``Tamil``> (( Eeeexcellent. ))
<``Tamil``> "Well. I'd rather make sure Tamil is safe, first.."
<``Tamil``> "Did you see where Orgg went?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Not the - the specifics. I've.. heard stories...."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "He went outside. He's chopping wood."
<``Tamil``> (( "Oh. And you still don't know what's involved?" ))
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))
<``Tamil``> "I'll go speak with him quickly. You wait .. up in the bedroom, I suppose.."
* ``Tamil`` almost mutters something as she walks outside :P

<``Tamil``> "Well, I suppose Tamil will have Theliar looking after her on the way to Quan. Though .. I hope they don't stop at an inn along the way."
<``Tamil``> "And Lirk.. doesn't seem to have anyone."
* ``Tamil`` sighs, "I hope he doesn't expect me to be someone special."
<Orgg> "If you hurt him, I'll kill you."
<FirestormZero> (( aww, group hug))

<AlcarDM> Radik: "The baron is in the swouth that that.. orc.. thing.... thinking thoughts no Baron should ever think, willing to sleep with ELVES!"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Is that all??"
<AlcarDM> The ghost looks astonished. "WHAT?"
<AlcarDM> Lisha says nothign behind you, with an effort :p
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I am the one that put Lirk in power.. so realy if he has gone astra its my dutie to put him back in line isn't it?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I meen geezz, what would Slim say.."
<AlcarDM> Radik looks astonished. "You .. would?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Its eather that or I go rase an army of undead lead by a Kender Golem and take over the place by force..."
<AlcarDM> Radik: "What?"
* Ryu_FatherFoot shakes his head and mutters "Whats a dark lord to do..."
<AlcarDM> It takes a lot to leave a 700 yrear old paladin at a lost for words, but you just managed :p

<Ryu_FatherFoot> "You know they have this legend around here for a king coming to them in a grate time of need from well some where else.."
* Ryu_FatherFoot gets up on winddancer when we get that far and helps the entire gang up
<AlcarDM> Lisha: "most places have those," dryly.
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Realy?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I could start a famon and then save everybody with food and rule the world then..."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Slim would be proud..."
* Ryu_FatherFoot shakes his head "To much work!"
<AlcarDM> Lisha: ".... Right."

<Theliar`^> (( Walk in on lee and lirk! Do it! ))
<Orgg> (( lol! ))
<AlcarDM> (( LOL ))
<Orgg> (( I considered it. With an axe. =P ))
<``Tamil``> (( I dare you. ))
<``Tamil``> (( Well. ))
<``Tamil``> (( If you do want to do it.. ))
<``Tamil``> (( Wait for me to get into an awkward position. ))
<``Tamil``> (( k? :P ))
<Theliar`^> (( Oh wait.. you mean something else? ))
<AlcarDM> (( *shakes his head* ))
<Orgg> (( I don't want to do it =P ))

<``Tamil``> "You know what to do?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk hesitates, then shakes his head
<``Tamil``> "I'll try to help you then.. first, you'll probably want to .. take off your clothes."
<``Tamil``> (( la di da... :P ))
<AlcarDM> Lirk blinks, the blushes and takes his clothes off quickly, looking mortified :p

<Theliar`^> I don't have a desire to go blind while having sex with a woman who looksl ike a lizard in a room of psychodelic paint

<AlcarDM> Tamil blinks a few times, her expression beyond shocked, then coughs and gasps "The master . should have used this.... for torture..."
<Theliar`^> "We do this for fun!"
* Theliar`^ smiles
<Theliar`^> "This stuff here, finally, is just for flavor."
* Theliar`^ hands her a cherry rum
<Theliar`^> "You can sip it if you want... It's the good stuff.. tastes like cherries."
* Theliar`^ sips his
<AlcarDM> Tamil: "For.. fun?!"
* Theliar`^ nods
<Theliar`^> "Once you get used to it... It's enjoyable."
<Theliar`^> "Your first time is always the hardest."
<AlcarDM> Tamil: "So is getting your blood transmuted into acid."
* Theliar`^ thinks
<Theliar`^> "Well... this is almost like that but more enjoyable.."

<Alcar> unrdu is the name of the setting, so far. Mostly rensaissance style world with hermetic magic, kaballah and alchemy.
<Alcar> using the ua system and going to involve lots of weirdness i hope
<FirestormZero> ...... Alcar continues his war against anything "normal" :)
<Alcar> war? :p
<FirestormZero> hmmm
<FirestormZero> more like a vendetta
<FirestormZero> or jihad

<AlcarGM> Snake spins and sees you, then relaxes and looks relieved, sitting back down in the bed slowly and rubbing his chest. he looks around a bit, then as you, then "Hiss?"
<Vora> "Well, I got an ambulance to come, but the guy didn't know what to do, and you were really hurt. But then the guy was someone else, and showed me some way to heal you a little. And then when we got there the person that the guy was, was a nurse, and some other guy was there, and tried to hurt her. And anyway, they were mean at that hospital, so I had to rescue you from them."
<Vora> (( THat is the best summary ever :P ))

<AlcarGM> Sara: "Kate should like this! How do you make a baby float?"
<Kate`^> (( Oh lord... a joke circle rp'd... this could be bad lol ))
<Vora> (( This could have been a cute sex joke fest, and instead its become horrible and disturbing. ))
<Piotr`> "I do not know, how?"
<Kate`^> (( Not just a joke circle.. but a tasteless joke circle ))
<AlcarGM> Sara: "two scoops of ice cream, one of baby. But I prefer the difference betwene a bowling ball and ababy: you can't stick a pitchfork through a bowling ball."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "You think this will lighten her up?!"
<Piotr`> "I think it may be able to, da."
<Kate`^> (( if you say yes I'll kill you ))

<AlcarGM> Sara nods: "OK!"
* Piotr` heads back towards his room again.
<AlcarGM> Sars follows, skipping
<AlcarGM> err, sara does....
<Piotr`> (No! Not Sars! Sars cannot follow!)
<Kate`^> (( SARS? ))
<Kate`^> (( Sars skips? ))
<Piotr`> (A generation)
<AlcarGM> (( heh ))
<Piotr`> (and it leads to genital sars)
<Kate`^> (( If I start caughing, i'll kill you ))

<barking_frog> I was in a D&D campaign once where a soldier in a delicate, restrained position had to make a saving throw to see if he choked on a potion he was drinking. He failed and choked to death. On a healing potion

<sancus> I play all games as a shapechanged tarrasque to avoid annoying crap like 'character interaction' :p

* Alcar shrugs. And it's fire and forget. Which just sucks. Big time. It was MADE for low level ideas, in the Vance novels it got based on.
<sancus> err what do you mean it's fire and forget?
<Alcar> sancus - the d&d system, You use, it's gone.
<sancus> you mean there's a finite amount of magical energy per day or something?
<FirestormZero> no
<FirestormZero> like you lob a fireball
<FirestormZero> it does damage
<FirestormZero> and disappears

<sancus> err so?
<FirestormZero> doesn't set anything on fire
<sancus> that's because fireball is specifically made not to set things on fires
<FirestormZero> it just has no consequence

<FirestormZero> i made a duelist with 241 ac :)
<aslhk> who gets hit 5% of the time =P

<AlcarDM> He nods dourly. "And do you know how few paid?" he sighs heavily. "Sometimes I wish I'd tkaen on another life, like you adventuring types. See the world....."
<Orgg> "Never too late. I could get you a sword."
<Orgg> Orgg, the barbarian recruiter! =P
<AlcarDM> He looks at you..... "I don't even know how to use one."
<Orgg> "And you never will, if you don't start some time."
* Orgg shrugs
<Orgg> "And more people would pay if you had a sword."
<AlcarDM> He blinks, considering that, then says "I never thought of it that way....."
<Orgg> "Good. Lirk needs a training partner anyway. I will teach the two of you."

<AlcarDM> Innkeeper: "The baron doesn't know how to use a sword?"
<Orgg> "He does, now, but he is new at it. He wasn't raised a baron, and you don't teach your children anything here."
<Lee`> (( Understatement of the year. :P ))
<FirestormZero> (( Well with sex-ed teachers like Lee`, it's no wonder...))
<Lee`> (( :P Dude a night with Lee is analogous to cramming for days straight ))
<Ryu_Featherfoot> (I think I would rather do the cramming for days straight)
<Theliar`working^> (( I'll have you know I am like... 3x the sex ed teacher of Lee! ))
<Ryu_Featherfoot> (bit none of you hold a candle compaired to Maranda)

* Ryu_Featherfoot just barges into rooms at randum till he finds Lirk
<AlcarDM> Ryu barges into the main room, then up stairs, then slams open a door to see Lirk and a woman sitting on a bed, currently kissing.
Ryu_Featherfoot rushes on over and grabs one of Lirks rists and starts to drag him down stairs "Matters of state come on.."
* ``Tamil`` sort of just gawks
<``Tamil``> "You kender try to steal everything!"
* ``Tamil`` grabs on to Lirk, of course :P

<AlcarDM> Ok, the woods are reached easily by two groups of whispering people, one very confused Baron and a ghost in a bucket.
<AlcarDM> who might not be a ghost, but is definitely in the bucket.
<Caltak> (( woah, that sounds weird. Well, back ot ingoring the channel.. ))
<Ryu_Featherfoot> (LOL)

<AlcarDM> The shops are mostly closed, since everyone is still hung over, but there is one "adventererers Shoppe" open
<Theliar`^> I think i've been here twice already
<Theliar`^> you're hinting at something... I know you are... there's something special in here...
* Theliar`^ walks in and looks around intently, trying to find something hidden
* Theliar`^ evidently doesn't find anything, and buys some female's travel gear Tamil's size
<AlcarDM> Hidden in a shop? Well, mostly it's just stuff the owner stole from other shops while everyone was drunk :)
<AlcarDM> So it takes a good while to find clothing that is decent and doesn;'t smell of drink, but you buy it for a few coppers
* Theliar`^ buys Tamil a dagger
<AlcarDM> The "owner" of the "shoppe" asks if you want anything else, a bit nervously :p
<Theliar`^> "Why?"
* Theliar`^ looks suspicious
<AlcarDM> "owner" "I'm trying to liquidate my stock before the winter rush?" hopefully
<Theliar`^> "Ah.. right... uhm... I think that's all..."

<``Tamil``> "Tell you what.. this isn't the place to talk about it.. would you come to the keep with us? We can discuss it over a meal."
<Theliar`^> "Uh... I was hoping to leave soon."
* ``Tamil`` almost giggles. :P
<``Tamil``> "Are you sure there isn't some way I could .. persuade you?"
<Orgg> ((LOL!))
* Orgg nods
<AlcarDM> (( ROFLMAO ))
<Theliar`^> "Perfectly..."

* ``Tamil`` shoots theliar with 23 bullets made of silver purifies seven times in the fires made from 22 logs each of 10 various types of wood. :P
* Orgg is looking for a big sword!
<Theliar`^> OMG
<Theliar`^> I read Kents and aslhk's msgs at the same time... and I got *Orgg is looking for a big wood :p

<Theresa> Theresa is wearing black. All black, with black cosmetics, and a black expression on her face. Her accessories are also black, but she allows herself a silver necklace. Her gown is long and flowing, and perhaps a bit more form-fitting than is entirely modest, or indeed appealing, as she could afford to lose a little bit of weight.

<FirestormZero> "Girl.. why do you want the magic?"
<Theresa> "Because I am sick of humans. I am sick of them and want something better, and I don't trust anyone else to do the job right."
<Adrian> "But we are humans," to Theresa. "We must create something better within ourselves and it will be expressed outward for all the world to see."
<Theresa> "See what I mean?"
<FirestormZero> <Narhlron> mutters. "Hippies."

<Austin`> "Wait I didn't get to try the other one."
* Austin` stares at the anvil and wills it to explode :p
<FirestormZero> "You see what Austin` just learn is. Anytime you fail to cast a spell, there are consequences.
<FirestormZero> Austins hand explodes!
<Austin`> "OMIGOD!"
<Austin`> "MY HAND!"
<FirestormZero> "The more powerful the spell..."
* Austin` runs around in circles.
<Theresa> "Cool!"
* Adrian attempts to heal it!
<FirestormZero> "The larger the consequences..."

* Theresa attempts to summon the spirits of the dead to whisper cruel things in the god damn hippy's ears.
<FirestormZero> Theresa. Your aunt margaret returns from the grave. She begins telling you how to make tuna casserole.
<FirestormZero> And she won't stop.

* Theresa attempts to make Adrian see the world as rose-tinted, since he obviously does anyway =P
* Adrian watches in awe as the world responds to his healing by showing the innner light of ECKANKAR, the true spirit of god, and primordial love as the rainbow shines through everything.
* Adrian is now in bliss

<kentari> :P I'm gonna say Austin asked too many questions about the test. Like, "What writing utensil should I use?" and "Am I penalized for incorrect answers?" :P
<aslhk> "When do we get to the fun part?"

<Austin`> :P For having low hp I had better get something else!
<Austin`> Like o_O cuteness points or something.
<Randahl> wow
<Randahl> this really is just shroomform without the drugs
<Randahl> except for adrian, that is :P

* Theresa dreams of generously endowed anthropomorphic animals =P

<Lee`> "I don't know much about swords."
<Adrian> Lirk: "he's teaching me how to use one, but I'm not that good."
<Lee`> (( XD ))
<Lee`> (( dirt mind, kentari.. dirty mind.. ))
<Adrian> (( *grins8 ))
<Lee`> "Oh? What all have you learned so far?"
<Adrian> Lirk: "How to get it out and swing it a bit. And sheathe it right."
<Adrian> (( blinks .. oh, gods, thats horrible... ))
<Lee`> (( :P ))
<Lee`> (( ugh.. ))
<Lee`> "So you engage in swordplay with him then? To practice?"
<Lee`> (( :P Touche! ))
<Adrian> he nods. "I think I could be good."
* Lee` nods, "You're a fast learner."
<Lee`> (( :> the coup de grace ))

* Theresa asks the mouse to inspect carriage #2 =P
<FSZDM> The mouse hops into it and returns.
<FSZDM> It shakes it's head.
<FSZDM> empty.
<FSZDM> Austin... you make nothing
<Theresa> "Ooh, who's a cutey?" *tickles the mouse* "Thanks!"
* Theresa places the mouse back in her purse.
<FSZDM> You... tickled the dead mouse..

<Austin`> "Mr. McClure, are we supposed to hurt eachother?"
<Austin`> "I'm afraid I'm new to this procedure."
<FSZDM> "Yes! Just go!"
<Austin`> "Oh.. Ok.. But, I don't really want to hurt you."
<Austin`> "Is there some other way we could do it?"
<FSZDM> "No! Hurry UP!"
<Austin`> "Are you sure?"
<Austin`> "I mean.. what if I really hurt you? What if you kill me by mistake?"
<Austin`> "What would your parents think of me?"
<FSZDM> "We'll be fine! All damage will be undone! I wouldn't risk your life for this!"
<Austin`> "Oh. Ok!"
<Austin`> "Let's see.."
<Austin`> "Wait, you like me?"
* Austin` giggles
<FSZDM> "No... I... Shut up!"

<FSZDM> Debra takes to the ring!
* Theresa heads for the ring.
<Theresa> "Before we start..."
<FSZDM> <Debra> "Well... come on in... oooh you have some thrifty bag with ou.
<Theresa> "I've never done this before. Can I just beat the shit out of you?"
<FSZDM> <Debra> "I will beat the shit out of you!"
<FSZDM> "And clean your mouth out with soap!"
<Theresa> "I am so very frightened."

<FSZDM> <Palmer steps into the Areana.
<FSZDM> "You... stop! Shaking hands is my job!"
<Randahl> "Bah, you're no prince!"
<FSZDM> "You're just like your father... but not as good!"
* Randahl turns sharply
<FSZDM> "Haven't you heard... You were disinherited!"
<FSZDM> "Hahahahhahaaha"
<Randahl> "not as good? in a few weeks time, i'll be better!"
<FSZDM> "You're just a joke now...."
<Austin`> "Don't let him get to you, Randahl! He probably doesn't even have a father!"

* Lee` ponders praying to teh Goddess about it. Would teh goddess even answer? :P
<Adrian> (( lol . .you never know... ))
* Lee` does so. Inside her head. basically a "Please help Lirk. I heard you did before!" :P
<Adrian> Lirk sighs then says "The gods help in battles, and wars. A quiet heart is your own concern." then claps his hands over his mouth and looks shocked "That wasn't me!"
* Lee` gasps.
<Lee`> "Its ok."
<Lee`> "Don't worry about it.."
<Adrian> Lirk: "But someone else just spoke out of my mouth!"

* Randahl concentrates his body energy, breaking palmer's other arm!
<Randahl> 1d20
<Sparkie> Randahl 1d20: 20
<FSZDM> 1d20-1 dodge?
<Sparkie> FSZDM 1d20-1: 5(6) dodge?
<FSZDM> <Palmer> "nah nah noo!!!"
* Randahl puts a hand on palmer's shoulder. "it'll be okay. i'll take your head next!"
<FSZDM> roll damage
<Randahl> 3d6
<Sparkie> Randahl 3d6: 3
<Austin`> ...
<Austin`> :P WTF! I demand a reroll!
<Austin`> He rolled a 20 to hit :P
<Austin`> It should at least mean something! :P

<FSZDM> <Palmer> "You... I'll never... Fine the town is yours."
<FSZDM> He looks red faced
<Austin`> "And so are YOU, right??"
* Austin` grins sadistically
<FSZDM> Debra, McClure, and Louise all look strange
<Randahl> "you're ten years old! Get away from me!"
<FSZDM> < Palmer> "Umm... not like that!"
* Austin` was talking to Palmer. :P

<Austin`> "Let's just do it this way!"
<FSZDM> you guys settle tax rate ^_^
* Austin` attempts to create a d20
<Austin`> 1d20
<Sparkie`> Austin` 1d20: 20
<FSZDM> lol.
<Austin`> :D Oh yeah.
<Adrian> ...
<Randahl> "what the hell is that?"
<FSZDM> you create a strange object
<FSZDM> with numbers on it
<Austin`> "Its a die. I think I gave it too many sides, but oh well."
<FSZDM> it looks like a die...
<FSZDM> but it has numbers 1-20 on it.

<FirestormZero> so nope. No sex this time ^_^
<Reykemias> i almost fucked that angela chick
<Reykemias> but my character got scared! :P
<aslhk> yeah, diseases! =P
<FirestormZero> wow... morality ^_^
<Austin`> you should just summon a skeleton
<Austin`> and use body to make it hot
<FirestormZero> you guys
<FirestormZero> have...
<aslhk> but.. skeletons *are* hot!
<FirestormZero> some problems ^_^
<FirestormZero> and you aren't good enough at body to do that
<Reykemias> FirestormZero: the ability to put a thought on one line?

<FirestormZero> does he want his hand back kentari?
<FirestormZero> er Alcar
<kentari> :P MY HAND!
<FirestormZero> OMIGOD!
<kentari> You will not take my hand away, ever again

* Alcar hopes not. I think the currently record in chanel is 10 or so :p
<Alcar> tho I did run over 24 hours in one weekend doing the first lolad campaign
<Alcar> but that was 3 evenings, 8 hours ish each.
<Iota> it's like saying surkh ran for 212 hours from november's end to may's second week :P
<Kiv> yeah
<Kiv> but surkh sucked :P
<Iota> Kiv: yeah, that's why i already have people asking me to rebirth it.
<Kiv> well, yeah, I can see that. I see some of the same behavior in broken homes across the country!
<Kiv> "Why you gotta make me hit you like that, baby?"

<Iota> i've had every competent player on esper play in surkh at one point or another :P

<Tarika> I'm trying to kill off my players
<Tarika> because they suck.

<Randahl> death, and body
<<FSZDM> You cannot destroy items. But you kill his hair ^_^
<Austin`> "OMIGOD!"
<FSZDM> He is now bald.\
<Austin`> "MY HAIR!"
* Austin` attempts to destroy Randy's clothes in a puff of smoke
* Randahl gives him short brown hair. like a boy has.
<FSZDM> Austin` it feels kind of drafty.
<Theresa> He's a red head this time =p
<FSZDM> Austin. All your clothes but your undergarments are gone.
* Randahl dusts off his clothes, then approaches austin
<Adrian> (( and lo, the heroes did perish in the hair wars.... ))
<FSZDM> And you have red hair.

<Dale> "Hmm. Can any of you see in the dark?"
* Dale whisperasks
<SamSmith> "I can. Just not very well."

<GemmGM> Sam, ahead you can see a hole of light.
<SamSmith> "I see the light."
* SamSmith heads for the light.

<Alcar> but gurps is TOO system oriented.
<Alcar> It makes D&D seem rules light some times :p
* Alcar 's favourite example is that ghouls have Odious Personal Habit: Eats Dead People
<Warner> now theres a great sequel idea for the Sixth Sense Movie. "I eat dead people" :)
<Warner> "I eat them every where" "And I have no BBQ Sause"

<aslhk> <KenDM> You feel your magical magics tingle with magical energy. That means that they work.
<aslhk> =p
<aslhk> I like that
<Warner> ("And how do I feel that?" "Magicly" :)

<FSZDM> <Old Hideous Woman> " Erhmm... may I come in?"
<Adrian> "Would you like some food? Rest?"
<Theresa> "She looks like she could use some... rest."
<FSZDM> (( And thus, the pcs let the evilest demon in all of Tirel, cross the threshhold...))
<Theresa> ((lol))
<FSZDM> "Erm... that would be nice!"
<FSZDM> (( kidding.... or am I?))

* Theresa eats some lobster, too, trying to be discrete about it.
<FSZDM> <Old Hideous Woman> sees all Theresa. you feel her eyes watching you. even though she is completely distracted. big brother is watching.
<Adrian> (( and he's in drag! ))
<Theresa> ((lol))
<FSZDM> (( Shut up.))
<FSZDM> (( ^_^))

<FSZDM> <Old Hideous Woman> "Well... Your dream will come true."
<Theresa> "The one about the squirrels?"
* Adrian looks surprised. "It will?"
* Theresa innuendos.
<Adrian> then.. "which one?"
<FSZDM> <Old Hideous Woman> "I'm afraid I cannot tell..."
* Adrian blinks. "So... it *could* the one about the squirrels?" to himself. "But that was more a nightmare...."

<FSZDM> "I am Belial..."
* Randahl backs away
<FSZDM> "Bethshiba Belial."
<Randahl> "Bethshiba?"
<Adrian> "Oh. That's a nice name.Very ... allierate."
<Randahl> "Come on, making up fake names isn't that hard."
<Adrian> "She could have had mean parents. I had a cousin named Tetragrammaton."
<Theresa> "What's wrong with Tetragrammaton?"
<Adrian> "Oh, some religious sect said it was offensive and killed him."
<Theresa> "Fucking nuts."
* Adrian frowns a but and wonders if Theresa has mind. she keeps referring to the squirrel dream...

* Theresa dances
<Theresa> er
* Theresa is now known as aslhk
* aslhk dances
<aslhk> =P
<aslhk> that just didn't seem right!

* Jordan` walks over to K-Dawg. "Listen, *bro*. I wasn't making fun of the *handle*. I was making fun of your inability to treat people like fucking people. You might not have to dress that way if you weren't a fucking cunt."
* Jordan` leaves
<Jordan`> (aslhk: how am i doing? :P)
<DorianZindell> (lol, I am impressed =P)
<K-Dawg> "Ayte... and don't let your hair hit the door on the way out. Some real cute pj's you're wearin, look like avril lavinge or some shit."
<Jordan`> (LOLMAO)
* Jordan` raises a middle finger on his way out

<AlcarGM> Ronald: "And there's duct tape. Shuts them up really fast. Most of them don't have facial hair, so when you pull it off it just hurts, nothing more," slowly. "But they still scream. Scream instead of cry."
<DorianZindell> (lol!)
<K-Dawg> "Ayte... dood... I didn't just hear you say that."
<AlcarGM> Ronald: "All those little happy meals and their toys. I just said I collected the whole set, and they put me away for years..... "

<AlcarGM> The TV is on, and showing Felix the Cat sodomizing Mickey Mouse. Or mayvbe fighting. It's quite a poor image.
<DorianZindell> "Took out that there helicopter. You got one of them with the gun, I take the other."
<AlcarGM> K-Dawg breaks the necks of the three dead men with ease..
* DorianZindell lassos and hogties a zombie with a gun, keeping the gun trapped against his body.
<K-Dawg> "Awww hell no..."
<AlcarGM> K-Dawg feels something sharp point into his back .. something cold....
<K-Dawg> "Ayte. What the fuck is behind me dorian?"
* K-Dawg trys to ascertain what's behind him!
<DorianZindell> "S'just that kid from the bar."
* Jordan` sighs
<Jordan`> "fuck you."
<DorianZindell> "I already got me a partner."
* DorianZindell grins at the hogtied zombie
<K-Dawg> "I don't swing that way, but if yah look on the tv, you got yourselves a station now."
<DorianZindell> "Nah, just kiddin y'all."

<AlcarGM> The woman looks at both of you... "I want to know why you're here! This is private property!"
<K-Dawg> "Ayte. I'm K-Dawg. This my straight ryder Dorian. You gonna explain yo crazy self. Or we gonna fuck you up. Aussie-Street homebrew."
<DorianZindell> (lol!)
<K-Dawg> (( hehheeh))
<AlcarGM> (( *shakes his head* ))
<K-Dawg> (( my alter ego rocks.))

<chaos`Work^> anime ninja (5) cool hero (2) former redneck (3)
<Alcar> and what IS an anime ninja as oppossed to a normal one?
<chaos`Work^> erm...
<chaos`Work^> I cut metal tanks up!
<chaos`Work^> lol
<Alcar> besides your pc needing eyes roughly the size of half their face and looking really young

<AlcarGM> Sara: "What's wrong?!"
<Piotr`> "I was a little dazed in class. And it seemed like I could tell who else has been... with you, doesn't look to well either."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "Oh, that parts normal! People just do that! I don't know why!"
<Piotr`> "But...it didn't seem normal."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "Oh. What was wrong?!"
<AlcarGM> she brushes off her hands, pats the plants, and stands up.
<Piotr`> "Like I said, I don't feel like myself..."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "Who else could you feel like, silly??"
<Piotr`> "Umm...just expression I pick up from you people. But I don't feel the same. And less... I cannot think of it."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "Oh!" she pouts. "That's funny! Do you want to see our baby?!"

<Julius> "Are you ok Winter? Well.. all things considered, that is."
<AlcarGM> Winter: "No, he's not ok. He was tortured by a lunatic. Would you be okay?"
<Julius> (( Err.. :P was that smith? ))
<AlcarGM> nope, winter :p
<Julius> (( omg! :p I just woke up! I'm not ready for this kind of stuff! ))

<Piotr`> "Wondering if something about you that has a side effect to being with you."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "I wouldn't hurt you!"
<Piotr`> "I know you wouldn't." He places a kiss on her forhead, "but there may be some side effect you don't know about."
<AlcarGM> Sara sighs. "I always thought the sex was enough!"
<Piotr`> "Maybe for you."
<AlcarGM> Sara: "You want to get married?!?!??!" in a horrified tone
<Piotr`> "Now wait a minute. I never said that."
<AlcarGM> She looks relieved. "Then what is enough?!"
<Piotr`> "I have no idea."
<Piotr`> "Maybe death."
<Vora> (( wow, thats pretty extreme. ))
<Vora> (( just get like, a visectomy or something :P ))
<AlcarGM> Sara blinks, then says "Maybe you DO need sleep!"
<Julius> (( ;P Maybe that's what he meant. ))

<AlcarGM> Sara blinks, then says "Maybe you DO need sleep!"
<Piotr`> "Maybe.."
* Piotr` grabs her like a teddy bear and holds her closely to himself, falling asleep.
<Vora> (( best. teddy. ever. ))
<AlcarGM> (( lol! ))
<Julius> (( d00d not if its head pops off ))

<AlcarGM> Sara: "I have babies!"
* Mael looks at Piotre
<Mael> "I thought you didnt sleep with her."
* Piotr` shrugs. "Once." He smiles.
<Mael> "Damn, those boys can swim....You've only been with her a few weeks and she's pregnant already? Good goin!"
<Piotr`> "This morning."
* Mael blinks
<Piotr`> "Want me to show you her?"
<Mael> "um..."
<Mael> "How can.....after...one day?"
<Piotr`> "Please come, let me show you."
* Mael follows
* Piotr` leads Mael to the garden and points to the flower. "Thats her."
<AlcarGM> It's a nice tulip.
<Piotr`> "Sara has nicer lips though."
<Mael> "You fucked her....and she sprouted a flower?"
<Mael> "Damn...when they say spreading the seed nowadyas, they really mean it!"

<AlcarGM> d100
<Sparkie> AlcarGM d100: 66
<AlcarGM> appropriate
<Julius> omg
<Julius> omgomgomgomgomg
* Julius has left #game1-ooc
<AlcarGM> d100
<Sparkie> AlcarGM d100: 99
* AlcarGM blinks
<AlcarGM> o..kay

<Mael> "So...you pop out a tree for every guy you sleep with?"
<AlcarGM> Sara: "Of course! It's easy!"
<Vora> (( she can single-handed regrow the rainforrest. Let's help her, shall we? :P ))
<Vora> (( well, not single-handedely, really, but you get the idea ))
<Julius> (( What a noble cause! :P I shall endeavor to do my best and perform my civic duty. :P ))
<Vora> (( thats the spirit! ))

<AlcarGM> Winter: "he .. . he hurt me .. and I ..... I think I killed him...."
<Julius> "Its not right. You should feel bad about it, I suppose but.. but at the same time, you can't let it stop you."
<Julius> "You know what I mean?"
<AlcarGM> Winter: "Stop me from . from what?" wiping his nose on his sleeve
<Julius> "From living."
* Julius produces a kleenex or something. :P From his magic coat.
<AlcarGM> Winter wipes his nose, then sniffs. "How?"
<Julius> "I.. don't know. I wish I could tell you. I used to just ignore it, but I think that's wrong.. what do you think?"
<AlcarGM> Winter: "I .. I guess so..."
<Julius> "For now.. let's try staying at the warehouse. If you don't want to stay there, you can always come to my apartment."
<Julius> "As for .. well .. that... its something both you and I need to consider, I guess."
<Julius> (( omigod. ))
<Julius> (( I'm having trouble NOT reading into this. ))
<Julius> (( :P But its in the most serious of intentions XD ))

<SnailSlug> Let me paraphrase what I did in 3 words..."I reinvented GURPS."

<AlcarDM> And Time turns, as you walk, footsteps coming, and going, leaving prints that become dust. Pathways fade into goat trails, and even they are long forgotten when the feet thta walked them return again. In the morning hour, the age of your youth, when the world and your path hang in the balance, a wind rises in the mountains of the north.
<AlcarDM> Southward it blows, over the empoty fields, through the Handarun plains, and picking up the salty tang of Quan ocean air. Slowly, the wind blows around around your necxk, and you step on a snake devouring it's tail without noticing. Your boots are worn with travel. Your boots that were, are, and may be can really use a cleaning.

<AlcarDM> Radik reamins silent for a long moment, then says "There is .....change coming."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "There is always change coming!"
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Its what gets me up in the morning"
<AlcarDM> Radik: "The world is changing. I feel it in the water, the earth, the air. Much that once was is lost, and those who live who remember it have forgotten, or will not speak. The elves have much to answer for.... already, there are stories of the war against the swamp happening in Talkani... that the king was betrayed to his death, or that the white towers are no more ....
<AlcarDM> Radik: "Many things that should not have been forgotten are lost. History is legend. Legend is myth. And al we have left are fairy stories, and children's rhymes. The gods make war, demons walk the land... there must be a king, or our land is lost. The sword passed out beyond knowledge, and the crown."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Thats what kenders are for, we find all the things lost by others"

<AlcarDM> well.
<AlcarDM> <AlcarDM> You hear wood shuddering and cracking
<AlcarDM> <AlcarDM> Tamil looks at you, then says "Theliar. Please.. look away..." slowly
<AlcarDM> * Theliar`^ Quit (Ping timeout)
<AlcarDM> he did that :p

<AlcarDM> Tamil just stares at you, her expression lost and scared. "Turn away! Please!"
* Theliar`^ jumps on the railing of the ship, torch still in hand
<Theliar`^> "Fine, but if you die, I will kill you personally."
* Theliar`^ turns

<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "But I don't have a boat.."
<AlcarDM> Lisha stares, then "We can rent passage on one."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Well ok, but we need to rase the money for it... Guess there is bound to be something in my castle.."
<AlcarDM> Lisha shrugs. "I can .... " then frowns. "Damn, I can't...." and sighs, then nods. "We can hope."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "could stow away.. or borrow the money.."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Or ask Lirk.."
<AlcarDM> Lisha: "There is that.. you dealt with the ghost.."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "And the past lord.."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Barron, what ever.."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Wait I'm a king, this shouldn't be a problem..."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "I'll just tax the port and then off we go..."
<AlcarDM> Lisha starts laughing "I really doubt they'll agree you're king, Ryu.."

<Orgg> "If I am the King, why did I just start feeling the land now? My dad was living when I left. Does this mean he's dead?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk blinks, then stares at you.. "I don't know.."
* Orgg frowns and stares at the floor
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "He could be alive! It could have needed you and your mother..?"
<Orgg> "My mother?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Maybe it was her?"
<Orgg> "My mother was an orc."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "oh."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Are you sure?"
* Orgg laughs
<AlcarDM> Lirk looks confused for a second, then says "... that was stupid, wasn't it?"
<Orgg> "A little" *chuckles more*
<Theliar`^> (( She could have been just really ugly ))
<Orgg> "But I did not know my mother."

<Theliar`^> I feel all tingly and excited... this is gunna be good, even if I DO die

<Alcar> yay! Orgg knows who he is, Theliar managed to screw over his own deity and Ryu is on his way to quan!
<Alcar> now just have to arrage for orgg and lee to end up there along with ghenn, in a few sessions
<Reykemias> so, uhh
<Reykemias> have you ever ran a game that ended with the party *together?*

<Tass> i missed monday
<Tass> was on the road and all that jive
* Alcar nods. Yeah. What basically happened was Piotr had a baby, Julius got winter free ahd is wanting people to help him fight Dr Filth (*snickers*) and Kate saw dinosaurs. To sum up quickly :)
<Tass> uhm...
<Tass> a baby? :P
<Alcar> yes. A tulip.

<Alcar> and since ghenn wasn't there, he spent the time dealing with traps and secret passages. Dunno what Lee did, but orgg and lirk were only away maybe 20 minutes or so from where lee and lirk left off
<kentari> Well I suppose I could just play teh violin.
<kentari> And steal money. :P
<kentari> 1d20+200 steal steal steal :>
<Sparkie> kentari 1d20+200: 201(1) steal steal steal :>
<kentari> ...
<kentari> Sparkie. You hate me.

<AlcarDM> The darkness seems to take.. shape? in the distance, developing a strange, villet hue fflicking in the middle of shadows writhing around it .. something moves ... a voice whispers through the air to you both, sounding like ice melting, hissing: "Guardian was I, little mortals."
<Ghenn> "A pleasure then, I'm sure."
<AlcarDM> The creature moves slowly, darkness surrounding it like fire. "Chained in the darkness by one who betrayed the land," louder. "And you come, new food, leaving the way open...."
<Ghenn> "Truly, you're striving real hard for that one shot at redemption, aren't you?" *in very sarcastic tones*

<Ghenn```> "So if you're going to persist in your efforts to kill my friend, I'm going to have to start playing rough."
<Ghenn```> "And quite frankly, I'm damn cold now, thanks to you!"
<AlcarDM> Creature: "Colder? Can die, little dwarf thing?" but it doesn't come closer
<Ghenn```> "Everything dies, as much as you don't want to believe it. Now, is this the thing that trapped you here?"
<AlcarDM> Creatrure: "I *died*. Fire to ice, and darkness .... but way out, hate opens doors... blood will freeze, and all will die.":
* Ghenn``` continues to fiddle with the amulet, despite the fact that he probably should have survival instincts kicking in at this point

<AlcarDM> Crreature: "They HURT me. Died here, flame went OUT!"
<Ghenn```> "Yeah, I get it. What makes you so special that you don't deserve that?"
<AlcarDM> Creature: "Was to help them, *made* to help them, then gave me to evil..... tried to made me shadow-thing..."
<Ghenn```> "Made and manipulated mean nothing. You can rise above it, should you choose. We all make choices."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "I know! He could follow the code!"
* Ghenn``` blinks
<Ghenn```> "We have got to get you more people to talk to."

<AlcarDM> Lirk follows, making no sound as he walks over bones then, unexpectedly, giggles. "I think I have a problem..."
<Ghenn```> "Only one?"
* Ghenn``` turns around
<AlcarDM> :Lirk: "I think I wet my pants."
* Ghenn``` blinks
<Ghenn```> "You like weird conversation pieces, don't you?"
<AlcarDM> :Lirk: "I do?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "I mean, it's not .. baron ... like, is it?"
<Ghenn```> "A shame you don't have a dwarven bladder. A good fright for us merely fills the tank just a little higher, if you know what i mean."
<Ghenn```> "All that drinkin' we do."

<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Oh. That's good...." he trails off, then begins to follow again. "But .. you were brave. You fought it.."
* Ghenn``` laughs
<Ghenn```> "Bravery? I spent the entire time talkin' out of my ass hoping to find a way not to die."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Oh," very slowly, then "You sounded brave!" loyally :P
<Ghenn```> "Had I been really brave, I would have opted to scare him with the amulet right off, but I was too scared to remember it, until he backed away that is."
* Ghenn``` grins
<Ghenn```> "9/10ths of all bravery is the ability to lie."

<Alcar> nite :) Thanks for playing :p
<Baliadoc> np! it was fun :)
<Alcar> Even if it *was* a day late :p
<Keith> its Baliadoc time! the latest and not so greatest time zone

<Clay> "I'll go scout ahead, and hope they don't see me coming. You guys stay on as straight a path as possible, and I'll meet you along the way."
<Silvran> "Whoa whoa whoa. No."
<Silvran> "Knowing us, ((and the GM)) if we split up, we won''t find each other for a long time. ((a few sessions, which could be a few years at the rate we're going))."
* Clay nods
<Clay> "Alright, sure. Walking it is then."

<Clay> "Pleasure to meet you, by the way. The name's Clay. Say hi to your friend for me too."
<Greg> He doesn't smile and just looks at Clay as if he was just told the meaning of life. "Ah. I see." He claps his hands and the fire goes out.
<Clay> "Pretty good eyesight, for just getting a guys' name."
<Greg> The man stands, brushing lint off his blue jeans and eyes Clay rather coldly, but not quite as coldly as if he knew what he doesn't know and not as much as if what he suspcted was what he knew. "Contacts."
<Clay> ((holy crap... i understood that...))
<Clay> ((and it hurts my head :))
<Andrew`-> (( holy crap... I didnt. And it hurt my head to try to. ))
<Silvran> << Same with me. No idea what that meant. >>

<Silvran> << I gotta get going soon.. >>
<Greg> (( same... anyone up for ending here on the road to damas -- err, the stone pillars? :p ))
<Silvran> << I am, but I'm afraid we won't play for another six months >>

<AlcarGM> Ok ... what was Vora doing last, again?
<Vora> Semi-frantically fleeing to god knows where
<AlcarGM> Oh, yeah.. after the evil fellow blew up her teddy bear :p
<Vora> Exactly
<Vora> which, by the way, was just low.

<Julius> "You didn't send Waldo out to do a chore recently, did you?"
<Kate`^> "No."
<Julius> "Wonderful.. Carl said he's missing."
* Kate`^ just looks at Julius
<Kate`^> "Maybe he took his little companion with him?"
<Julius> "I don't know. Why are you asking me?"

<Carl> (you know whats a riot? That out of all the NPC's alcar has given us, I think Needles has been the most normal :P)
<Julius> (( Oh heavens, no ))
<Julius> (( :P The most normal one was the bus driver ))
<Carl> (well, npc with a name)
<Julius> (( still no :P I think then its needles' probation officer :> ))
<Kate`^> (( No... His probation officer is attracted to needles... Talk about masochism ))

<Julius> (( and besides, she's not attracted in THAT way :P ))
<Kate`^> (( Haven't you ever wondered... If I t has spikes or is pointy too? I haven't untill just now lol =p ))
<Julius> (( omfg ))
<Julius> (( that's disgusting. ))
<Julius> (( kate should find out. ))
<Kate`^> (( No... I don't think that would be a good idea... ))
<Kate`^> (( maybe you can take him to the gym and 'hit the showers' and grab a peak? ))
<Julius> (( what, kate is ebil? :P ))

<AlcarDM> And now..... Ios!
<AlcarDM> The wheel of thoughts turn, sessions come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend becomes quotes, and even quotes are long forgotten when they end up on the site. In one session, called the 16th session by some, the 17th by others, a session yet to come (if you live in Baliadoc time), a session long past once this night is over, a wind rose in the Northern Mountains.
<AlcarDM> The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the campaign. But, damn it all, it WAS a beginning [so lets get ON with it, jesus christ, muttered Sparkie].
<AlcarDM> Southward the wind blew down the Great Northern Barrier and between the empty Quan forts of another age. Onward it blew until it came to Quan, where it paused to admire the city that has never fallen, and catch a hint of sea air. When it moves onto the plains, it was joined by a southern wind and created small gusts that blew through the hair of one Theliar.
<AlcarDM> Standing on the prow of the Queen Anne's Revenge and thinking his own thoughts, who looked up to nod to it, but did not hear it. The young woman watching him saw the wind, but it wisely avoided her.
<AlcarDM> The wind blew onward, going slightly east this time, over the Handarun plains, skirting the Changing Lands. Southward it went, strengthening hearts and weary steps, pausing in Makake for some iced tea. It blew further south, passing elves facing undead fire, but they were not strong enough to stop it. Onward it rushes, heading ever southward towards the heart of the world, but invariably lost.
<AlcarDM> Before it paused to ask for directions, it blew though the Namat Villages, rustling trees and pausing to caress the hair of a young baron and look up the skirt of his bride. Further south it blew, passing beyond other winds, where it caught the sails of a fleet of ships and blew through them with joy, unheeding, until a single Word was spoken and the wind - was no more.

* Theliar`^ sighs and looks at the stars "That formation there, it's the Big Stag, over there is the Little Stag... It points to the star in the north, said to be given by the god to help those who are lost."
<AlcarDM> Stede: "So some say. I prefer to see the fallen maiden and the big dog myself." he shrugs. "The gods give us what we earn, nothing from them is free in my experience."
<Theliar`^> "Nothing from them will ever be free... They are the merchants of our souls."
<AlcarDM> (( cute :p ))
<Theliar`^> (( Thanks =p I just made it up though... It makes sense I think... ))
<AlcarDM> Stede looks at you, then shrugs. "Maybe you're right. But I don't plan on selling mine, except to the highest bidder."
<Theliar`^> "I think it isn't we who own them, we must earn them, and once we have earned them, we brought to the place where no living thing can go."
<AlcarDM> Stede: "Death? I thought elves didn't die."

<Lee`> "We're waiting to have things calm down and become settled before we worry about producing an heir."
<AlcarDM> Old woman: "Worry about?! What worry - the land always impregnates the woman if you join together!"
* Lee` coughs lightly..
<AlcarDM> Lirk's jaw just drops
<AlcarDM> Kalan remains expressionless ... with effort :p
<Lee`> "Then an heir is on the way. Is there anything else?"

<AlcarDM> Theliar sails to Quan on the Queen Anne's Revenge, captained by Edward Teach/Blackbeard. Ryu sails north on The Heart of Gold, captained by one Captian Hook :p and Hooks shiip tries to do pirate stuff and board Blackbeards ;P
<aslhk> lol
<aslhk> how awful

* Theliar`^ gets up, and eats some old grabes and stale bread
* Theliar`^ grabs a cup of water as well
<AlcarDM> Ok.... you drink, and eat. You can hear people moving around outside in the hallway.
* Theliar`^ stands and walks outside
<Theliar`^> (( Stop doing the Ok.... Like I made a bad decision, cause it screwes with me ))
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))

* Theliar`^ walks to the nearest one, and asks her if she's seen A girl with dark hair leave recently
* Theliar`^ is probably toppless with a ripped robe and bandages and rippling muscles like the cliche hero lol
<AlcarDM> lol. More topless with a lithe look that makes women sigh with envy!
<Theliar`^> HuH?
<AlcarDM> cliche elf hero :p
<Theliar`^> LoL I get it now...
<Theliar`^> F U alcar
<Theliar`^> (( I'm the hot elven hero with rippling muscles! ))

<AlcarGM> He frowns, then says "Not that I've seen."
* Theliar`^ frowns and nods
<Theliar`^> "If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her.."
* Theliar`^ sighs and goes downstairs and outside
<AlcarDM> He nods. "And you are..?"
<AlcarDM> The old man walks away, muttering about head injuries. :p

<AlcarDM> Ok.. you're nice and warmed by the walk by the time you reach the temple. It's a simple, one story building with some depictions of the goddess on the doors but otherwise nothing that would let the average person realise it's a temple to Her.
<Theliar`^> (( DAMMIT ALCAR! ))
<AlcarDM> (( what? ))
<AlcarDM> (( <- is confused ))
<Theliar`^> (( Stop the OK thing... Seriously... It freaks me out ))
<AlcarDM> (( *blinks* lol. all right. ))
<Theliar`^> (( It's like you have some evil scheme and I'm playing right into it =p ))
<AlcarDM> (( you are, though. ))

* Theliar`^ looks over to the table next to him and says a little loudly "So you people hear much of the dragon below the city? What a joke eh? You know anybody who actually goes looking for it!?"
<Alcar> The man in the next table laughs, and days "Of course! My cousin Lezard goes down there all the time. Even has tours!"
<Alcar> (( *smiles evilly* ))
<Theliar`^> "Tours? Has he seen the dragon?"
<Alcar> (( why not?! ))
<Theliar`^> (( Because lezard is 3v1l! ))
<Alcar> (( pc don't know that :p ))
<Theliar`^> (( I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU! ))

<Alcar> The girl suppresses a yawn and looks at you "'morning."
<Alcar> the girl = the server, sorry.
<Theliar`^> Oh..
<Theliar`^> Uh..
<Theliar`^> Right.. the server
* Theliar`^ looks at the server and wonders what it's running under the box.. ;)
<Theliar`^> (( J/K i know what you're talking about
* Theliar`^ nods to her "Good morning."
<Alcar> she would show you, but you don't have the money :P And STD Inside just isn't attractive these days :(

* Theliar`^ looks off the side of the carriage and watches the buildings pass looking for any type of dungeon shop or cave shop or something ;)
<Sparkie> You see "Alcar's Love Nest," but that might be not the type of dungeon you want.

<Alcar> Ok, the docks are busy, unlike the rest of the city, with ships and boats being loaded and unpleaded and lots of people filling or emptying warehouses.
* Theliar`^ looks around first to see what is being sold
<Alcar> Not much .. a few people selling food on a stick, a few bards earning money by playing "stairway to the otherworld" and the like. Usual morning.
* Theliar`^ walks up to a bard and asks if he knows where Lezard is
<Alcar> the bard stops playing "Kiss the magic dragon" and looks over. "Who?"

<Alcar> YOu eventually arrive at a "One Stop, One Shop" travelling place, with a shingle boasting "Quan Is Nice, Under Quan Is Nicer"
<Alcar> The shop is filled with adventuring items, inclduing "Brand name reductions" .. whatever those are.

* DavidHolmes pokes the body. "I know the receiver is picking this up." and leans in closer. "We aren't all slaves yet!" *drives stake through heart, pulls it out, cleans it off, and heads towards the front of the train, crooning "happyh birthday to me" very off key, since it shields from malignant radio waves*
<|337C4Bb4g3GMD00D> DavidHolmes: Do you have a hammer or something for the stake?
<DavidHolmes> of course! Otherwise it gets stuck in the ribs.
<|337C4Bb4g3GMD00D> lol
<|337C4Bb4g3GMD00D> I'd give you a point for that, but there ARE NO POINTS
<|337C4Bb4g3GMD00D> But I'll give you one anyway
<|337C4Bb4g3GMD00D> Have a point!

* Alcar DOES havea complaint regarding skills for the teenage romance genre, tho.
<Alcar> It says we can't get Heavy Weapons. I mean, hello? If your bf/gf/whatever ticks you off, and you can *get* a rocket launcher to blow up her house for revenge, you can't use it!
<Chaos`^> lol
<Chaos`^> ok... You have issues.. you know that right?

<AlcarDM> The Wheel of Time turns, and days come and pass, leaving memories that become tinctured with doubt, and even that is long forgotten when we try to remember it again. In one age, called the Last Age by some pressimists, an age coming, an age going, an age gone, an age relaxing, an age long past, an age that may not be, a wind rose in the north.
<AlcarDM> Southward it blew, rattling the cage. But the hamster still ran, the wheel turning, and turning. The wind was not a beginning. There are neither beginnings nor ending on the wheel, except when he stops to eat, or defecate. But it was a beginning.

<Orgg> "I would have your help in securing the castle. Yours and the children's."
<Orgg> ""There are secret entrances to this building everywhere. More than I can hope to find on my own. I am told the children know of many."
<AlcarDM> The old woman steps between you and the children protectively. The youngest, a boy o about 4, starts crying "Mikey said the orc would come to eat me!"
<Orgg> "I don't eat children."
<AlcarDM> Boy: "Nan said they do! Gobble us all up if we're bad! And cook us! I didn't mean to wet the bed! I'm not even fat! Granny is fat!"
<AlcarDM> The old woman blinks at that, but manages to keep a straight face. "The proper word is plump. And offering me up for food is very impolite," sternly.

<AlcarDM> Ok.... the amount of travellers leaving Quan is nill by the time you reach the city... Stone buildings, all carved handsomely, some wood ones.. no walls, just a large well manicured hedge. Two guards in ornate plate armour are guarding the road into the city.
<AlcarDM> Lisha whispers "Just don't tell them your name is Underhill. They don't find it funny."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Why would I tell them my name is Underhill?"
<AlcarDM> Lisha shrugs. "It's like humans and smith. If you don't want people to know who you are."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Oh"
<AlcarDM> The guards stop the three of you, looking bored. "Names?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Underfoot"
<AlcarDM> Lisha closes her eyes and sighs.

<AlcarDM> Ok, Ghenn shines his light back into the basement proper and sees a creature up in the far corner...... creeature being the operative word. A spider's body with the torso of a man, all covered in small black hairs, with faceted bright red eyes, and a pincer as part of what was once a nomrla mouth.. it's perhaps 2' tall at best and cowering up in the former shadows.
<AlcarDM> (( basically, centaur but with spider bottom to it. ))
<Ghenn> "Hmm... that's unusual."
<Orgg> "What is this creature?"
<AlcarDM> The creature covers it's eyes from the light and whines.
<Ghenn> "I don't know, but I have a feeling it's been here a while."
<Orgg> "In this basement?"
<Ghenn> "Yeah. I bet we didn't notice it when, you know, we were running for our lives from the gaping maw of insanity."

<Ghenn> "Look, can you understand us at all?"
<AlcarDM> The creature scampers down from the wall to the floor and nods eagerly
<Ghenn> "Well I hate to say this, but you've got quite the speech impediment, unless you just aren't being talkative."
* Orgg grips his axe, but doesn't try to kill the thing yet.
<AlcarDM> The creature nods. "es!"
* Ghenn nods
<Ghenn> "Hmm... you been here long?"
<AlcarDM> It looks up at Orgg, blinking faceted eyes "DADDY!"
<AlcarDM> j/k
<AlcarDM> (( sooo tempting though ))

<AlcarDM> The interior of the Mincing Pony is big .. large bar at the far wall, 2 roaring fires.. a lot of dark wood, and sparse lighting at the table.s YOu see humans, a few half orcs, some humans ugly enough to be half orcs, 2 dwarves and even a gnome inside
* Ryu_Featherfoot heads right on up to the counter and asks flat out what there rates are
<AlcarDM> The bartender looks down at you .. young human, handsome enough, and grins. "Kender asking about rates? Whose purse are you paying with?" in a friendly tone.
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Capten hooks"
<AlcarDM> He blinks, looking surprised, then says "Ah honest kender? then end of the world must be near," drlyy. "1 gold a night per room. Includes 2 means down here in the tavern. Drinks extra."

<Orgg> "Where will you go?"
<Ghenn> "Anywhere but here. That's the way I always go. Plus, I've got a curious little side trip to embark on."
<AlcarDM> Ghenn, ooh! roll knowledge-ooc :p
<Ghenn> 1d20+1
<Sparkie`> Ghenn 1d20+1: 13(12)
<Ghenn> er... that's not right
<Ghenn> 1d20+2
<Sparkie`> Ghenn 1d20+2: 22(20)
<AlcarDM> .....
<Ghenn> (forgot the int bonus, strangely enough :)
<AlcarDM> Ghenn knows somehow that his destiny likes in Quan.. :p
<AlcarDM> ((An all powerful voice speaks, somewhere. "QUAN! YOU WILL GO TO QUAN!" for some some reason you don't here it)) <-- was going to be my messgage, then remembered ghenn's skill :p

<AlcarDM> init :p
<AlcarDM> 10#d20+1 - them!
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 10#d20+1: 4(3) 4(3) 5(4) 3(2) 4(3) 4(3) 12(11) 8(7) 14(13) 18(17) - them!
<Theliar`^> 1d20+2
<Sparkie> Theliar`^ 1d20+2: 21(19)
<AlcarDM> ....

<AlcarDM> Lirk gives a half shrug. "I don't know. It was ...." he trails off, then says quietly "I could have made them take the oath. With the land. I tried to tell them that I wouldn't but it was all .... stupid. Like they think I'd be like the last Baron, and stuff. And they made fun of Lee, and I got mad and showed them things... then we left."
* Ghenn blinks
<Ghenn> "Uh... Lirk? You do have subjects still, right?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk blinks... "huh?"
<Ghenn> "You're starting to make it sound like you scared them all off."

<AlcarDM> Ok ......time must have somewhere, but here you just have darkness, a small fragile light, and Tamil beside you... the river bed goes down, further,, finally starting to level out until one day? night? week? you see a light ahead.
* Theliar`^ gets to know Tamil REAL good ;)
<Theliar`^> (( Hey baby, how you doin'? ))
<AlcarDM> seriously? :p
<Theliar`^> Hey, after you've been underground for a while... you get bored... =p it's an elf thing
<Theliar`^> You're the one who put me underground for weeks! I was thinking.. you know.. days... at most a single week...
<Theliar`^> I blame you for everything that's about to happen alcar.. every last detail...
<Theliar`^> =p
<AlcarDM> But there's a light ahead! Make for the light! Please!
<AlcarDM> :p

<Ghenn> "There you go, listening to others again. Look, the last two Baron's you replaced did things their own way. If you do things your own way, can they really be any worse?"
<AlcarDM> Lirk blinks, then says slowly. "I ... Iguess not." He grins one of his grins that seems to light up the room. "They didn't have the code!"
* Ghenn smiles
<Ghenn> "Took you long enough. You have something rather unique to give these people. They don't need to follow it themselves, but how bad can a Baron be who does?"
<Ghenn> "You see, then, that you have basic guidelines by which your choices are governed. Just apply those to your land and your people. As long as you do right by yourself, you can rule without regret. Right and wrong are just minor bumps on the way."
<AlcarDM> (( oh, my. Ghenn should train modern ceos.... "I have my faults, but being wrong isn't one!" ))
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "And I'll die for them soon, so they can get a good baron!"
* Ghenn slaps his forehead
<Ghenn> "One step at a time, I suppose..."

* Orgg removes a knife from his bag and hands it to the girl, showing her the proper way to hold it
<Orgg> "I will keep the knife until I am satisfied that you are ready to own your own."
* Orgg will be teaching her nifty things like How to Draw a Knife without Any Danger of Stabbing Yourself, How To Hold a Knife, How to Swing a Knife most Effectively While Leaving as Little of You Available for Being Hit as Possible, and other such amazing things
<Orgg> as well, How To Practice WIthout Actually Using a Knife

<AlcarDM> Ok, after about an hour of walking and some questions, you discover there IS no poor neighbourhood. There are some taverns with "questionable dealings" but they are all invitation only. and high class
<AlcarDM> and most of those will likely not welcome kender :p
* Ryu_Featherfoot shrugs and trys getting in introducing him self as Lord of the newly founded United Kender nation (UK for short)

* Ryu_Featherfoot walks right on up to him "You wouldn't happen to know how I could contact the local mophia would you?"
<Alcar> The man looks down and you and says, slowly and precisely. :"What?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Well see its like this, I'm a bounty hunter on contract and need to get into contact with the local job market.."
<Alcar> He blinks a few times. "What?"
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Ok fine I'll burn the place down to get there attention"
<Alcar> He stares at you. "No hunting here. Laws."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "Realy?"
<Alcar> He nods. "Real."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "SO this is some sorta legal safe havon for thoes wanting to escape "persecution" by seemly and unseemly types?"
<Alcar> He blinks. "Yeah. Sound good."

<Ryu_Featherfoot> "You know, for being a disreputable place there isn't much infromation here, who owns this place, I need ansers!"
<Alcar> he blinks, then says "Sometimes. Trick, you know trick? Trick not looking for them. Some questions, is no answer. Mystery, that is."
<Alcar> He frowns, then says "Boss no come for no reason."
<Ryu_Featherfoot> "great... this place is almost not worth burning down!"
* Ryu_Featherfoot starts for the door leaving him to ponder that

<Chaos`^> Can't lie to myself if I don't know that i'm lieing!
<Alcar> of course you can. Self deception is, like, the core of human nature!
<Chaos`^> Nope, a lie is willingly telling a false truth under the knowledge that it is a false truth...
<Chaos`^> Anyway, I'm going to call your bluff and say 'bull shit' because I refuse to believe that the first powerful npc in one of your campaigns that I actually enjoyed and liked, lied to me
<Chaos`^> so =p

* Sara`` smiles atr Regy and waves "hi! Are you lost too?!"
<FSZDM> Veronica points her tazer at him.
* Sara`` giggles. "We're looking for gillians or the skipper!"
<FSZDM> "What are you doing loser?
<Sara``> "That was mean! It's not his fault his mom dresses him!"
<Sara``> "Is it?" to Reg. "I bet he'd even brush his teeth if he could!"

<FSZDM> "I will protect you, like Dunthar saved Gelhanen in Dragonlance Volume 12 collecters edition!"
<Sara``> "Ooh! What from? Like, the time you had me dress up as superman?"
<Sara``> "Oh, wait, that was ken!"
<FSZDM> He looks MAD.
<Sara``> "Did we do dress up too?!"
<Sara``> "I can look like the ravnished maiden!" *rips her blouse* "See?"
<FSZDM> "Don't you rememb-"
<FSZDM> Veronica: "Sara! You didn't! Not with him!"
<Sara``> "Oh, no! He kept saying things about love, but I'mw aiting for Prince William!"

<FSZDM> Stacy jumps out of the bushes at Veronica! A swiss army knife in hand!
<FSZDM> Stacy is a kind of cute asian girl. she went shopping with you once. she's nice.
<FSZDM> except now, she has a pocketknife in her hand.
<Sara``> "Stacy! Hi! Did you have any luck with Kevin?!"
<FSZDM> Stacy immediatly calms down.
<FSZDM> she smiles.
* Sara``` smiles back!

<FSZDM> Veronica: "We should like find a place to sleep."
<Sara```> "Oh!"
<FSZDM> Stacy: "Oooh! I know one! On our map, there is this little house!"
<Sara```> "I wish I had my cell! We could order pizza!"
<Sara```> "Is it a B&B?!"
<FSZDM> "Ummm no. Let's go" says Veronica as she leads you to the house.
* Sara``` follows!
<FSZDM> You notice that the door to the house is slightly ajar...
<Sara```> "Hello!" goes to say hi! "Can we come in too?!"
<FSZDM> is she really that stupid?
<FSZDM> the house is empty
<FSZDM> you find a place to sleep.
<Sara```> sadly, yes :p

<Alcar> designer wise it's really good tho ... you get a new, fresh start . .and likely guaranteed customers unless you do something really weird, like, oh, get rid of the grim&gritty/gothic feel :p
<Alcar> Vampire: "Woe is me! I am a vampire!" ST: "Wrong edition. We're doing the NEW World of Darkness." Vampire: "Oh, right! *cough* "I'm a happy, happy vampire, singing my happy, happy song!"
<Baliadoc> yeah, it would seriuosly have to be about touchy feely weres and hippy vampires to ruin it :)
<Baliadoc> "I admit. I shift to Crinos so I don't have to interact with others. I just want to be alone. I'm so pitiful!" *cries*

<Alcar> "I admit it. I'm not a mage. You see this? It's a mirror. And this? It's the secret pocket in my ... "
<Baliadoc> wow. that would be the best. dorky mage. no powers, just smoke and mirrors :)
<Alcar> or, even better. "You know us hermetics? It's all lies. We don't have spheres. See this, it's a spell table. We memorize spells each day, and they have verbam, and somatic, and material components . .and we're all broke because they require gold coins!"

<Theliar`^> MWAHAHA!
<Theliar`^> I hope I don't end the campaign =(

<MotoX> if I got kicked in the nuts, I think I would explode, and then die a slow painful death

<Alara|tools> DM: "You hear someone whistling."
<Alara|tools> Rob: "I call him in the voice of his mother."
<Alara|tools> Alara: "I attempt to disarm Lara with a Hruruzat- and an acrobatics check. Oh... two critical successes... seems I not only disarmed her, but also undressed her..."

<Caltak> Note to self... Ressurrect Dragon, kill Theliar. Look for possible method that achieves both. :P
<Tsume-chan> Oh! Oh!
<Tsume-chan> I know!
<Tsume-chan> A successful Bribe DM check
<Sintaqx> hmm, that's a high DC.. or alot of sexual favors.
* Sparkie accepts sexual favours.. Alcar wants money, but ignore him. I'M the one who makes the rolls, after all *snirks*
<Tsume-chan> What's a snirk?
<Tsume-chan> Better stick to the die rolling. ^_^;
<Sparkie> Wolverine smirking. Now shut up.
* Sparkie sulks

<Chaos`GM^> "I'm going to go change into something less dreadful than this... besides the school doesn't like us using our clothes for leisure. Would you like to meet me later at Malts and rice?"
<Jerome`> "Ok, sure."
<Chaos`GM^> (( LoL Malts and Rice... The local McDonalds.. MnR for short ;))
<Jerome`> (( lol. Ok... ))
<Chaos`GM^> (( LoL I just made it up =p ))
<Chaos`GM^> (( Ok's go for my games too!! ))
<Chaos`GM^> ahem...

<Chaos`GM^> sorry
<Chaos`GM^> was rolling using the fuckin' bot that SUCKS
<Jerome`> (( lol. Who died? :p ))
<Chaos`GM^> NPC, but barely

<AlcarDM> Ok .. you find yourself at the Crooked Shrew. Like most of the buildings in Quan., it's beatiful, a real work of art. The smells coming from inside it, on the other hand....
* Ryu_FatherFoot takes a big breath of air then goes in hoping the sent isn't over powering
<AlcarDM> The tavern is dimply lit by grimy wall lamps, tables and chairs wood and scarred by many fights. Most of the inhabitants are humans or halforcs and most of them have enough BO to make evne the idea of picking their pocket horrifiyng. The bartender is either a half orc, or a human ugly enough to be an honourary half orc.
* Ryu_FatherFoot goes on up to the bar and climbs up onto a stool
<AlcarDM> Most of the conversations are hushed or drunkenly loud. A lot of people sitting by themselves, including a rather peeved ranger wondering what the hell the wizard was smoking and how he'll even see halflings in this room anyway, and besides that they're all useless. Everyone knows.. oh, wait, that's a kender. Gandalf surely didn't mena kender...

<AlcarDM> The human is a tall, beared fellow in a rangers outfit with a sword at his side and a very unfriendly look in his eyes.
* Ryu_FatherFoot waves with out saying a word
<AlcarDM> He closes his eyes for a moment, then says, low-voiced. "I hope you're not the one with the ring."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "The ring? I've got lots of rings.."
<AlcarDM> Ranger: "I bet you do .. likely one of mine too ... I meant, did Gandalf send you here?"

<Ryu_FatherFoot> "But the bartender said I should talk to you.."
<AlcarDM> He sighs, them growls "About what?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "The local organized crime people.."
<AlcarDM> He blinks, then looks guarded. "I know about the 5 wizards, if that's what your asking. Saruman does the cocaine, Gandalf the weed ... " he pulls a face. "The brown one mostly does little animals, I think. And not as drugs. I do drugs. I deliver them. Why do youn want to know?"
<AlcarDM> Sniffer, son of Arathorn, and heir to a lot of creditors back home, wonders if he really did take the wrong road....

* Ryu_FatherFoot laughs "Yah I'm sure capten hook is mad about thoes sails"
<AlcarDM> Sniffer blinks a few times, wondering if this is some code .. or if you're one of those narcs, the 9 disembodied people working for that Sauron fellow with the eye condition .... then just settles for: "Maybe."

* AlcarDM thinks that'll be my next pc in a D&D game :p
<AlcarDM> Tho justifying playing a paladin crack addict to most DMs would be a feat in and of itself.
<AlcarDM> ooh, i have it. "He was mentally scarred fighting an Evil Demon From Beyond Space And Time for his deity, and the cocaine is what keeps him normal."

<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Any Idea where I can find a dragon with fire?"
<AlcarDM> The orc shakes his head. "Don't - don't like dragons. Go look for one and there's only one question, you know?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I don't know..."
<AlcarDM> He frowns, then says "Why did the chicken .. no dragon's too big to cross ... oh, yeah. Question is whether you're famous, yuh? Or .. or if you're lunch." He nods firmly.

<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I spoke with Elauris at the top of the white tower in the plains that have not seen rain in a great time less then a month ago"
<AlcarDM> The man stares at you for a long moment, then smiles mocklingly. "Oh? Kender are liars, fool. Prove it, if you can."
* Ryu_FatherFoot grins and uses mage hand to lift his drink and wave it around in front of his face "Where do you think I learned this?"
<AlcarDM> The orc just looks very confused now by the exchange.
<AlcarDM> The orc roars: "MAIGC" and stands, half drunk, reaching for a sword he must not have brought with him.
<AlcarDM> The one eyed man chuckles derisively, ignoring the orc. "Magic is easy, if you have the knack, or the will."
* Ryu_FatherFoot sets the drink down on the table "How else do you think I bested the nameless necromancer"
<AlcarDM> The orc stops, then makes a strange sound, screams, and runs out of the tavern
* Ryu_FatherFoot chuckles "You realize he is the smart one don't you?"

<AlcarDM> He will attack, barring any miraculous act on your part :p
<Ryu_FatherFoot> (other then summoning a badger to tunnel up threw the floor?)
<AlcarDM> (( it would be in the cellar, and likely get eaten by the rats :P ))

<AlcarDM> A voice from somewhere head of you, old, deep and tired, speaks quietly, deeply. "Kender? A .... kender...."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Yes??"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Who is it??"
<AlcarDM> A dry chuckle, then "My name, dear boy, is Hsalienwrr'klorhjidellrnn'ashiente'orel, to the 3rd generation..." trails off into silence.
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Woudln't happen to have something I could pronounce?"
<AlcarDM> "Oh, well, then you can call me Al."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Wierd Al it is then..."
<AlcarDM> Pause, then stiffly; "Hardly weird. And what a kender calls weird I would not like to meet."

* Sara`` looks at the gun. Remembers hollywood movies, screams loud enough to shatter eardrums and likely horrify bats.
* Sara`` runs up the stairs!
<FirestormZero> ((OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO DUMB))
<FirestormZero> You run up the stairs as Veronica trys to throw herself out the window.
<FirestormZero> But she thunks into the wall instead leaving jenni to...
<FirestormZero> Fill her with bullets. She dies.
<Sara``> (( see! Sara isn't stupid! The universe favours blonds! ))

<FirestormZero> <Jenni> "Well, It's everyone for themselves... I liked you but... only one person can survive. And it's going to be me! i don't care who i have to kill.
<FirestormZero> She begins walking away when your nail strikes into the wall.
<Sara``> (( would reply it's 3, but she sort of forgot :p ))
<FirestormZero> She spins around and fires!
<FirestormZero> And Wildly sprays the room, tearing upholstry from the couch!
<Sara``> "You hurt the couch too??!!!"
<Sara``> d100 0 - shooting her! I hope....
<Sparkie> Sara`` d100: 56 0 - shooting her! I hope....
<FirestormZero> <Jenni> "Die you dumb bitch!"
<FirestormZero> You hit.
<Sara``> Sparkie hates me. As usual.
<Sara``> I do?
<FirestormZero> Heroic shift.
<Sara``> for defending the couch? :)

<FirestormZero> You lob a nail straight into her skull. She dies, her cheap tacky machine gun and GAP purse clatter to the floor.
<FirestormZero> Oh. And she's bleeding. All over her Mudd jeans.
* Sara`` attempts to stand, and then looks down at her shoes and gasps "I don't have tide colourguard! They'll be ruined!"
<FirestormZero> A tragedy indeed.
<FirestormZero> You're also BLEEDING.
* Sara`` goes outside, nail gun in hand, bleeding, battered, dying, and looking for a washing machine. and hurting like hell from your many wounds.
<FirestormZero> (( oh my god...))

<PlayerNegativeFive> How do I start DMing?!
<Tech-Sensei> Hmmm
<Tech-Sensei> Step 1. Show off your D&D abilities
<Tech-Sensei> start debates, arguments, etc. The key to DMing isn't knowing WHAT the rules are, but WHY they are there
<PlayerNegativeFive> I'm good at starting arguments!

<|337C4Bb4g3> ok guys
<|337C4Bb4g3> are you going to let psyche go for 32 points to an NPC?
<|337C4Bb4g3> and be totally pwned by 2 npcs in THE MOST IMPORTANT ATTRIBUTE IN THE GAME?!
<Gemm> I want to lower my bid to 2.
<|337C4Bb4g3> Gemm: Tough!

* Jerome` gets up, checking himself over.. yep, still there... puts clothing on to cover the weird tattoos, eats, and heads to school.
<Jerome`> barring any interuptions like ninja attack or alien invasion :p
<Chaos`GM^> Ninjas attack you in the shower

<Chaos`GM^> erm...
<Chaos`GM^> I would just like you to see this: <Sparkie> Jerome` 2d6-1: 7(8) <Sparkie> Jerome` 2d6-1: 5(6) <Sparkie> Jerome` 2d6-1: 7(8) <Sparkie> Jerome` 2d6-1: 7(8)
<Chaos`GM^> do you see a pattern?
<Jerome`> yes, I'm dying before the 2nd day of classes? :p
<Chaos`GM^> LoL You die once a day, I think =p

<Chaos`GM^> One of the ninjas attacks, and slices your arm. Heal 2 pts from the last 2 rounds, btw. Oh, and take 5 from this ninja =p
<Jerome`> 2d6-1 .. help! Sparkie!
<Sparkie> Jerome` 2d6-1: 3(4) .. help! Sparkie!
<Chaos`GM^> Finally... You hit a ninja... He falls to the ground unconcious because this is redicoulus =p

<Jerome`> btw, is this seriously hapenning in game? :p
<Chaos`GM^> I have no idea why three ninjas would attack you while you are taking a shower
<Chaos`GM^> =p
<Jerome`> lol. Well, he does have a nemesis :)
<Jerome`> Or maybe they got the wrong addresss? :)
<Chaos`GM^> That wants his minions to see you naked
<Chaos`GM^> LoL
<Chaos`GM^> ROFLMAO!

* aslhk is now known as ArthurDaneIHaveRankedEndurance
<Jerome`> /nick GerardCouldHaveBrokenMrRanedEnduranceCorwinSoHah!
<ArthurDaneIHaveRankedEndurance> ((yeah, but he would've healed in like under a year!))
<Jerome`> (( was thinking more along the lines of ripped in half :) ))
<ArthurDaneIHaveRankedEndurance> ((two years, then!))
<ArthurDaneIHaveRankedEndurance> ((and then there would be TWO!))
<ArthurDaneIHaveRankedEndurance> ((watch out for those endurance guys!))

<_____> The waitress approaches, timidly, carrying a tray with your food
<_____> "Here you go, hon!"
<Adane> "Food, food, food, glorious food!"
<_____> Right as she is saying that, one of your machines turns up a four of a kind, and the other a straight flush
<_____> You just won about
* Adane grins and does the I just won dance
<Adane> "Hell, yeah!"
* Adane shimmies and shakes
<_____> The dollar signs light up in Susan's eyes
<Adane> "Oh, money."
<_____> "Woooohooooo! That's a nice streak of luck there, darlin'"
* Adane pays Susan for the food and offers the gratuity closest to 15% that doesn't involve truncation

<_____> There is a taxi approaching, but you calculate that there is only a 23.3698201% chance of him spotting you in time to stop. You figure that if you step out in front of him, there is a 96.43661% chance of him stopping before hitting you, and only a 0.390862% chance of you suffering anything more than a slight injury even if he doesn't stop, and you fail to avoid being hit.
* Adane steps out in front, confident in his ability to avoid being hit by cars
<_____> The driver doesn't notice you for a moment, then slams his horn, and swerves, almost hitting a fire hydrant, before coming to a stop approximately 3.9215 feet in front of you
<_____> "DIOS MIO, PINCHE LOCO GRINGO!" he shouts, shaking his fist
<Adane> "It's okay, I'm alright."
* Adane opens the door and gets in
<Adane> "Take me to the airport."
<_____> the man stares at you for a moment before he remembers his place
<_____> He nods to you, in silent disbelief, and begins driving

<Roy`> (( its hard to RP someone that knows less than you do! :P ))
<Roy`> (( :P I dunno what the 'average' human knows.. ))
<Roy`> (( :/ I'm so used to being above average ;P ))

<_____> The airport's proportions seem to approximate those of the golden ratio
<_____> 1:0.62, with a standard deviation of .03 (a bit higher than you would like, but better than most buildings)
<_____> (( er, that should have been 1.618033989, I think, please don't kill me ;P ))
<Adane> ((you're the gm!))
<Adane> ((the golden ratio is whatever you say it is! =P))
<_____> (( yay! ))
<_____> (( fuck you pythagoras! ))
<_____> (( I am GOD! ))

<Jerome`> <_____> "Leonard 'J.' Crabs is just a myth, he doesn't REALLY exist. There is no lawyer out there who has never once lost a case, and certainly not one who has gotten away with skinning kittens in front of the prosecutors house while singing obscene songs in order to undermine his case!" <-- woah! Ozzy got into law in this world?!?!
<_____> We understand that your choice for legal representation can get a bit confusing with all the lawyers out there bidding for your business. But we honestly mean it when we say "Leonard Crabs is the only lawyer who drinks his own urine." This unique, no-holds-barred approach to legal defense has baffled more than one defense team in court, often ending up in a large cash settlement or at least a small recess until he's taken his medic
<_____> We'd like to thank you for visiting our website. And please choose Leonard Crabs when searching for an attorney to represent you in court. He's not letting us go until you do. Thank you.

<Chaos`GM^> She looks at Roy "Tried is the key word... I told him to leave... Justl ike I tried to tell you... Nobody listens to me anymore."
<Roy`> "Besides, if he got punched into the wall for you he probably likes you."
<Roy`> "You never told me to leave."
<Jerome`> (( "We're pcs! GMs pay us to be stupid! ))
* Roy` shrugs, "I figured you were talking to those guys. Next time be more specific, allright?"
<Chaos`GM^> She takes another drink and nods "Fine, but will you listen?"
<Roy`> "Sure. You're not a lunatic like those .. swarms of women .."
* Roy` shivers. :P
<Jerome`> (( Sara got cloned! ))
<Jerome`> (( ooh, Sara in Paranoia.... ))
<Roy`> (( stop it, man. ))

<Roy`> "Enough with the weirdness."
<Roy`> "So why does your face glow and stuff?"
<Jerome`> "I don't know."
<Roy`> "Can you turn it off?"
<Jerome`> "I don't think so."
* Roy` :P tries to turn it off for him!
<Chaos`GM^> (( OFF WITH HIS HEAD! ))
<Roy`> (( what do i roll? :P ))
<Chaos`GM^> (( To cut off his head? ))
<Chaos`GM^> (( Are you joking?? ))
<Roy`> (( no. ))
<Roy`> (( :P nonono ))
<Roy`> (( I mean to use.. you know.. ))
<Roy`> (( :P It. ))

<Chaos`GM^> (( You would need lvl 2 to change ah... jerome, though... considering he's willing.. ))
<Roy`> (( oh.. blaaaah.. ))
<Roy`> (( :D ))
<Roy`> (( 4get it! ))
<Roy`> (( I'll keep my little secret safe for now. ))
<Roy`> "Well.. it doesn't hurt does it?"
<Chaos`GM^> (( What secret? The fact taht you wanna cut off jerome's head?))
<Roy`> (( yeah. that one, too ))
<Roy`> (( :P I'll leap-slash him l8r ))

* Theliar`^ makes idle conversation on the way to the palace "Have you heard of any holy warriors of the goddess in the city recently?"
<AlcarDM> The cab driver blinks, then says "yup."
<Theliar`^> "Where?"
<AlcarDM> He shrugs. "harbour. Wanted to go to the temple of the goddess. Human fellow."
<Theliar`^> "How long ago was this?"
<AlcarDM> "Hour ago. Lots of women running around outside looking angry, too."
<Theliar`^> "... Take me to that temple.. Was this person male or female?"
<AlcarDM> He blinks, then says "You're the boss. And male. Called himself Nimih, or something like that. Foreign chap."
<Theliar`^> (( OMFG I KNEW you were gunna say that.. I hate you alcar.. I hate you... so much... I could fly up there and strangle you right now ))

* Orgg will take the sword from the hand, then, trusting the Goddess.
<Orgg> "Thank you."
<AlcarDM> Ok, you touch the sword and a jolt of pain burns into you from it :P
* Orgg anticipated that =P
* Orgg tosses the sword to the ground, preferably outside the goddess's glade, and draws his sword
* Orgg will proceed to beat on the new-sword =P
<Orgg> it is the barbarian way!
<AlcarDM> Ok, the heir to the throne of the Namat Empire recovers the royal sword and proceeds to beat on it with his old one. The air rings with the sound of the blade hitting the royal one and you don't get anger, so much as a lot of shock from it now :p

<Theliar`^> "Is she still a threat?"
<AlcarDM> Goddess: "To whom?"
<Theliar`^> "You... Me... The temple.. The pedestrians on the street. Anybody?"
<Theliar`^> (( She's gotten awfully pissy since i last talked to her ))
<Orgg> ((lol, orgg just did something bad =P I think))
<Darien`-> (( how bad? ))
<AlcarDM> (( destroy glade to goddess while trying to thank her bad :) ))
<Darien`-> (( thats funny ))
<Orgg> ((yeah *laugh* but not good for Orgg!))
<Orgg> ((or theliar =P))
<Darien`-> (( thats like thanking someone for driving you home by slashing the tires. ))
<Orgg> ((except ruder =P))

<Theliar`^> Who is normally in charge when the high priest/ess is away?
<AlcarDM> whoever you appoint. And there's neverbeen a high priest before :p
<Theliar`^> Oh... who was that lady that attacked me? =p
<AlcarDM> she was the high priestess :p
<Theliar`^> Oh!
<AlcarDM> and theliar is male
<Theliar`^> Oh...
<AlcarDM> unless there's something you're not telling me?

<AlcarDM> Ok .... kender clothing shopping should be scary. You find the clothmakers street without too much troble, mostly high class shops, a few with displays in the window, one of two bargain places, like the Gold Store, one gold for anything inside, or the Salvation Army, which sells blessings and clothing. There's also some place called the gap, but it's missing right now.

<Theliar`^> "Oh, but alot of Barons and Earls have subjects and castles... What makes you King?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "What makes any King, his Queen."
<AlcarDM> Lisha stares at Ryu ....
<Theliar`^> "Oh.. Who's your queen?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Besides this world will need a king to unite the countrys and barronies and all thoes against the coming evil"
<Theliar`^> "Wouldn't that make it an empire? Besides, why do you think it is YOU that is going to unite them all?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I delt with seeing duke lirk into power, I removed the deranged Knight from the lands so that they might yet again prosper"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "And who else has been in the presence of the great Elauris?"
<Theliar`^> "Baron Lirk.."
<Theliar`^> "The great who?"

<AlcarDM> hrm,seduction via possession by magical sword leaves much to be desired.
<AlcarDM> Mostly the seduction part.
<Orgg> lol
<Orgg> hey, it could've worked

<AlcarDM> Grand Vizier: "I see. And, pray tell, how many kender are in your nation?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "One curently is there, a great hero, and then me the King.."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "and more I'm sure but I didn't search the dungeon compleatly, I left that to slim"
<AlcarDM> The Grand Vizier smiles charmingly, or what he must think is charmingly. "2 people?"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "well You see that is part of my travels to spead the news to the other kenders of the world and let them know we finely have a nation of our own"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "There are of chorse more people in my kingdom, but you asked only how many kender."
<Alcar> Grand Vizier: "As it is a kender nation, I fail to see how the others can matter."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Your not a kender you wouldn't understand"

<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Vary well, the United Kender nation shell remember this denial and shell not aid Quan in the up coming war"
<Alcar> The vizier stares at you, pinning you with his gaze. "What war?" very gently
<Alcar> Bucket whimpers besides you.
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "That is for us to know and for you to find out"
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "Less your changing your mind of this audence, with your Emperer"
<Alcar> The vizier stares at you for a long moment, then says "What war, and answer or you aren't leaving this room alive."
<Ryu_FatherFoot> "I dought you have the abuility to kill me or my companions, and as for the information the UK has, it is to remain our own, should we turn it over with out the alliance we would be at a clear dissadvantage"
* Ryu_FatherFoot fishes the wands out of his pocket "And as for your threat, I dought you would wish to lose your life and leave your emper with a hole in his castle big enought to nest a dragon in"
<Orgg> ((I wouldn't be so sure--he's got a burning desire for that information))
<Orgg> ((*waits for the pun police in silence*))

* Orgg removes any armor, loincloths, and various knickknacks which could be concealing cuts and takes a look.
<Orgg> There are a lot, most of them a few days old but still around. There are three fresh wounds.
<Theliar`^> (( AAH! NAKED ORC! ))
<Orgg> ((You know you want him! =p))
<Theliar`^> (( Sorry, I'm busy seducing tamil ))
<Alcar> Lirk stares at them, shocked, then says "You .. you don't feel those?"
<Alcar> (( to which Orgg replies "Of course not, I'm a D&D pc!" ))
<Orgg> "Nope! S'funny. Felt them earlier."
<Alcar> Lirk looks confusd at that, then nods and begins applying the stuff to the wounds, carefully.
<Theliar`^> (( UNDEAD NAKED ORC! ))

<Alcar> Tamil just looks at you .... oddly, then says "I... I'd take your power.. your life... I can't control it!"
<Theliar`^> *Sniff* "I don't know what your race experiances for an orgasm... For all I know it could be the most intense thing.." *sniff* "You may find it's hunger grows more than your current one.."
<Theliar`^> "How do you know that if you've never done it before!"
<Theliar`^> (( What's the saying? Don't knock it till you've tried it? ;))
<Alcar> (( yes, but few people apply it to sex, with good reason :p ))
<Theliar`^> (( Those people aren't elves. ))
<Alcar> (( contemplates Tamil as a furry :p ))

<Alcar> so.. you ewant tamil to be a nympho? :p
<Theliar`^> Hell no!
<Alcar> <Theliar`^> *Sniff* "I don't know what your race experiances for an orgasm... For all I know it could be the most intense thing.." *sniff* "You may find it's hunger grows more than your current one.." <-- oh? :p
<Theliar`^> Oh, lol, naw, that was just ehm... Good seduction tecnique
<Theliar`^> kinda like.. "TRY IT! IT FEELS SOOOO GOOD!"

<Orgg> now that is frightening
<Orgg> "Good seduction technique"
<Orgg> though I suppose it beat's lirk's "Attack Target With Flaming Sword"
<Alcar> lol. Yeah :p

<_____> Ready to go?
<Sammael> Yep :p
<_____> <--- Session Start --->
* _____ has left #amber
* _____ has joined #amber
<_____> (( that was an accident :P ))
<_____> (( Sammael scared me off already! ))

* Sammael strikes again, aiming for the throat.. assuming it has one....
<_____> (( kick it off the roof! if it has high strength, it can't withstand an impact at 21 MPH! ))
<aslhk> ((lol!))
<_____> (( *makes fun of the rulebooks* ))
<Sammael> (( ROFL ))

<AlcarDM> The wheel of fortune turns, contestants come and go, leaving episodes that become seasons, and even seasons are long forgotten when synidcation comes again. On one station, called ABC by some, NBC by others, a station yet to broadcadt, a station long bankrupt, a wind rose in the north. The wind was not the beginning, because that would be stupid.
<AlcarDM> But it was a pain in the neck as it disrupted the TV show and failed to raise Vanna White's skirt.

<AlcarDM> A kindly farmer, probably in his 40's but looking closer to his 60's, lets you stay in his place. His son, a young lad of about 10, practically pounces on youl, having never senea dwarf before... "What are you?! Is this my new brother?!"
<Ghenn> "Oh gods..."
<AlcarDM> The farmer coughs, and practically drags the boy away. "No, Rand, he's a dwarf. .. " He looks at you "Sorry>'
<AlcarDM> He holds out a hand "I'm called Tam."
* Ghenn figuring the world is going to end anyway, kills young Rand and saves us all from having to read 10,000 pages of book.

<AlcarDM> Tam nods. "Most people never realise their potential, I think."
<Ghenn> "Tends to be the main problem of most people, I'd say. But we'll see. Can't blame a guy for trying."
<AlcarDM> He nods slowly.
<Ghenn> "All I can say is that everyone needs to give him their support. He needs to see that people will work with him to accomplish a similar goal."
<AlcarDM> Rand: "What's it like travelling? I'd like to see the the world some day. Especially it's eye!"

<AlcarDM> Ok, you're awake when the fog is finally about a hundred yards away all around you. It's very thick, but pale and grey but you can't see beyond it..... you should be able to, but it's as if there is nothing there. Milly .... eats grass.
<Ghenn> "Are we about to get this over with!?" *to the great nothingness*
<AlcarDM> No one replies.... you're voice seems odd dull and there is no echo to it.... Oh, yes, and you can't hear yourself breathing.
* AlcarDM almost forgot about that part.
<Ghenn> rofl
<Ghenn> that's always kinda important ;)

<AlcarDM> Ok, you eat. Stand beside the pony. The sky remains dawn-ish overhead, and fog all around you. Nothing happens.
<AlcarDM> (( Welcome to Theliar's session in the pool? :p ))
<Ghenn> ((good lord, i guess so! this is pissy!))
<AlcarDM> (( didn'tg expect you to stop :p ))
<Ghenn> ((sorry. Ghenn's a stubborn ass :))
<Ghenn> ((if i were playing Milly, I'd get stuff done ;))
* Ghenn flicks the nail file out of his pocket, thinks for a second, then sends it hurtling into the fog
<AlcarDM> oooh...
* Ghenn is somewhat mad it happened to get the least expensive of his possessions, but counts it as a viable loss
<AlcarDM> the mail file vanishes with a shrill, ear splitting scream .. coming from the nail file. Before you have time ot really grasp that, thre world seems to lurck underfoot and the fog and unnatural dawn are gone ... you're on a real, well trasvelled road, with fields and hill saround you ... in the distance, you see some sheep.
<Ghenn> "Elf-birthed sonofabitch, whatever that thing was. I'm going to miss that nail file, though I'm a bit worried that it screamed."

* Ghenn looks for signs of a town nearby
<Caltak> (( You see a sign. It says "Town, nearby." :) ))
<AlcarDM> (( You see a sign. Town: Population 300 (crossed out), under it 200 (same), 100 (samme, 32 (ditto), 18 .... or not ;) ))
<AlcarDM> (( Castle of Count Dracula, Population -1..... ))
<Caltak> (( Better yet: Sign "Middle of Nowhere." ))
<Ghenn> ((i like how the undead are negative population ;))

<AlcarDM> Ok .. you look around and se no village, but after urging Mily ahead (once she stops eating gras) .. you come to a large stone inn.
* Ghenn is rather happy to see that, since he's most likely exhausted a good amount of rations and water
<AlcarDM> yeah :) About 3.33 days worth.
<Caltak> (( The Inn says "Bates Motel" on it. ))
<AlcarDM> (( how'd you guess?! ))

<Caltak> every party needs a barrel full of halflings, to feed to... well, anything bigger than a cat, really. :)
<Ghenn> my favorite use for halflings is tying them to a rope at the end of a long stick and using them to fish for undead
<Caltak> I want a halfling for a pet.
<Caltak> it could live in a shoebox.
<Caltak> :)
<aslhk> halfling rights!

<AlcarDM> The stable is clean, well tended. The stableboy, a young lad named Arthur, stables Mily for you, and asks how much she shoud get to eat.
<Ghenn> "Uh... A lot. She doesn't seem to stop, really. Let me know if you need more money to keep her well fed."
<AlcarDM> he looks surprised, then nods.
* Ghenn tips the kid a couple coppers, and heads back into the inn, deciding he should probably get some sleep, having been up for some unknown number of days
<AlcarDM> The boy takes them, adding them to his meager sums to be able to afford to leave this place and continue his quest for the sword in a stone, unaware that if he took the time to clean out Milly's hooves he'd find it. Of course, finding Britian would be the harder part.
<AlcarDM> (( Excalibur, the Foundering! :p ))
<Ghenn> ((poor kid. i'll have to tip him more later :))
<AlcarDM> (( Why? He's letting Milly founder! You'll have to drag your limping horse to quan :) ))

<Chaos`^> You hear a ticking comming from the body...
<Jaoni> "Er, I wsn't thinking, you know cpr?"
<Jaoni> (ticking?)
<Jaoni> (like... bomb ticking? :P)
<Natsuki`> "Huh? Oh, um... kinda. I mean, I did learn it once..."
<Chaos`^> (( maybe.. watch? ))
<Natsuki`> (( ITS A CLOCKWORK! KILL IT!!! ))
<Natsuki`> (( sorry, UA flashback :P ))

<Chaos`^> <Aiko> "the contact gave me a link to the database... but.. I have... other skills as well.."
<Natsuki`> (( other skills *nudge nudge wink wink* ))
<Roy`> "Ah, I see."
<Chaos`^> (( heh, yeah.. ))
* Roy` seems to understand fully. :P
<Roy`> (( uhm. my chick magnet is tingling! :P ))
<Natsuki`> (( hey! put that back in your pants! there are ladies present. ))
<Roy`> (( that's why it works :> ))
<Chaos`^> <Aiko> "But we're stuck out here now..."

<Roy`> "I never made a point of learning how. I know you can make a fore wotj stocls. nit O pm;y lmpw t[ ,a;r ;r,fp dtocls/"
<Roy`> (( err ))
<Natsuki`> (( ... ))
<Roy`> (( don't look away when you type, kids. ))
<Chaos`^> (( WTF? ))
<Natsuki`> (( uhhhhhhh ))
<Jerome`> (( wow. ))
<Jaoni> (hah! )
<Jerome`> (( Roy is the cyborg!!! ))
<Chaos`^> (( ROFLMAO.. It got steadilly worse.. ))
<Roy`> "I never made a point of learning how. I know you can make a fire with sticks. But I only know how to make kendo swords."
<Chaos`^> (( Roy is malfunctioning ))
<Jerome`> (( his programming just glitched :p ))

<Roy`> why can't we all just get along?
<Natsuki`> We do get along. Just not with you.
<Roy`> hahaha
<Roy`> :P

<_____> There is a strange looking beast standing in the alleyway in front of you
* Adane decides not to run forward after all
<_____> It looks like something out of a nightmare. A 3' tall cat with no fur, and strangely stretched and contorted skin around an unnatural jaw and teeth nearly a foot long
* Adane stops as quickly as he can, and steps back, slowly this time, watching the beast. He's not really paying attention to the fact that he just shot the guy, so is likely to trip over his corpse =P
<_____> Its claws are in full extension, and probably 8" long
<_____> It is hissing
<_____> The mafia goons are freaking out. "Oh my god! What are those things?! Holy shit! We're all going to die! etc. etc." But their words seems strangely distant to you
<Adane> "Mafia goons! kill that thing!"
<Jerome`> <Adane> "Mafia goons! kill that thing!" <- high compelling, without the high or compelling parts :p

* Sammael spents a few moments praying, thankful to be alive, then attempts to sit up.
<_____> It hurts a little, but not overly so. You can tell that you have a large number of stitches in your side, but they don't feel in danger of tearing under light exertion.
<_____> It feels really bad when you try to turn to one side or the other, though. You don't like that.
<_____> (( your side is evil! kill it in the name of god! ))
<_____> (( er... :P ))

<_____> "Oh, you're awake! How wonderful!" Says the perky nurse, checking your IV and vital signs. "How are you feeling?"
<Sammael> "Alive."
* Sammael mentally hits himself for that comment, blaming it on blood loss.. "How .. how bad is it?" in a scared tone.

* Sammael nods, and thanks him, his voice pale.
<_____> "I hope you feel better, soon, pal."
<_____> He leaves quickly.
<aslhk> (a pale voice! :D)
<aslhk> (detective is on acid =P)
<Sammael> (( just thought it was a nice image :) ))
<_____> (( that's what happens when you are an english major! you start using visual sensory predicates for everything! :P ))
<Sammael> (( better than others. His voice vaguely rubbery and oregeano doesn't work :p ))

<Sammael`> and has he noticed me yet?
<_____> He's there with some girl you haven't seen before, who looks a little new to the whole goth thing (WAY too much black eyeliner, even more than Freddie, and he wears a lot)
<_____> He is just in the process of spotting you as you notice him
<_____> "Hey! Sam! Holy shit! What happened to you?"
* Sammael` nods. "Fred..." then gives a half shrug with his good arm. "Wild animal, of all things, according to the hospital. It's not as bad as it looks."
<_____> "Oh, well I can see why you missed the LARP on Saturday. Hey, this is... er... Sam, too... Samantha... Sam, Samantha!"
<_____> He introduces you to the young gothling
* Sammael` smiles. "Hello." ((oocly hoping against hope that's not a real word :p)). *holds out his good hand to shake hers. "You new to the city?"
<_____> (( it is now! ))
<Sammael`> (( "Oh, yes, this is out little gothling, emma. The doctor thinks she's pale, but it's just the make up" ))

* SilverHorse wonders if alcy is ever gonna update the UH site :P
<Sammael> oh, yeah! Err, soon.
<SilverHorse> :P
<Sammael> like, remind me again tuesday, or something, when I'm not playing in or runningsomething
<SilverHorse> You expect me to remember? I have the memory of a goldfish! Resets every five seconds. :X!
<Sammael> Maybe you have a windows virus?

<_____> They look as if they are listening to a far-off voice for a moment, then advance towards you... adane and fenrick first, as they are closest to the exit
* Adane just waits, innocuously
* Max-or-so-you-think sighs and gets up and stands a bit back from where the door was and waits for what ever is to happen to happen
<_____> Any other actions?
<Max-or-so-you-think> (other then being compleatly none hostile no)

<Alcar> pirate sith! peg-saber.
* Baliadoc blinks
<Baliadoc> how do you walk?
<Alcar> Baliadoc - no idea :p
<Alcar> very careflly, I'd imagine
<Baliadoc> although that would make for some bitchin' duels... kick-boxing sith with lightsabers for legs... that'd have mad style
<Alcar> then arms.....
<Alcar> cthulhu with light sabers.
<MechaBlue> I'm surprised that flamethrowers and otherr area effect weapons aren't favored against Jedis
<Alcar> "Thre force is ... you've got to be shitting me."

<Tass> what about a shotgun
<Tass> buckshot :P
<Alcar> tass - tk :p
<MechaBlue> Flechettes would probably work better, especially in a semi-auto 40mm
* Alcar votes for small, personal tac nuke.
<Alcar> one city block is a small price to pay for killing one jedi!
<Tass> jedi might have really freaking sweet reflexes, but they can't master some sort of temporal multitasking
<Alcar> Tass - they probably could :(
<Baliadoc> bah. there's a much more evil and, honestly, cooler way to kill jedi. stick 'em in a smoke filled room, make them rely on the force to see, then start killing people nearby, so it fucks up their senses. Then walk in and gut them

<Tass> thing is, you sense danger, but you can't identify it, so your fuxored :P
<MechaBlue> So... the threat of orbital bombardment would slowly drive a Jedi insane?

<Baliadoc> the easiest way to kill a jedi is to throw them into a ship with a poorly programmed astrogation system. watch them hit the hyperdrive and crash... into the middle of a star

<Gemm> Hmmmm, next week could be weird.
<Alcar> oh?
<Alcar> you plan on revealing you're a demon? :p
<Gemm> No, :P. But Fenrick may start saying he thinks Tarrod could be a vampire and start sawing off his head with one of the knives he has.
<Gemm> :P
<Alcar> LOL
<Alcar> That might not go over well :p

<Alcar> ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Melee weapons should be laser weapons on the sheet. The Computer didn't make an error. To suggest that is treason. Please report to the nearest termination centre.
<Alcar> under the dex skills :)
<Chaos`^> It is the result of Commie spies trying to corrode the computer's perfect image!
<The_Computer> "How do you know what a Communist is?" *shoots Chaos*
<Tass> so wait
<Tass> knowing what a commie is....
<Tass> is a punishable offense?
<Alcar> lol. nah.
<Tass> so how are you supposed to root them out? :P
* Alcar was messing with you ;p

<AlcarGM> Christis-B-ORN parts the water, which rages through the gaping hole and down into the elevator shaft.
<AlcarGM> (( definitely :p ))
<AlcarGM> What are you doing?
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( is he registered? ))
<AlcarGM> (( nope, all registered mutant have a yellow/black armband ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( lol, this game is evil! ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( what sort of chances would a red d00d have against a blue d00d in combat? ))
<AlcarGM> (( You're asking if defeating a tainted mutie wouldn't be worth dying for?! ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( He'll be back as Christis-R-ISN anyway ))
* Rocky-R-OAD pulls out his laser and starts shooting
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( good point :P ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( forgot this wasn't amber for a sec :P ))
<Rocky-R-OAD> (( was like: How can I use this to my advantage... ))

<Rocky-R-OAD> "Computer, where is briefing room 007?"
<The_Computer> "You are not authorized for that information. According to Chocolat-B-ARR, you are not there. Please explain, in 30 words or less, why you think you are."
<AlcarGM> A laser in the ceiling swivels towards Rocky-R-OAD-2.
<Rocky-R-OAD> "I am here because I am trying to fulfill the orders of my friend the Computer!"
<The_Computer> "You are not in briefing room 007, my friend. Let he who is without sin fire the first laser."
<Rocky-R-OAD> "Where must I go to reach this room, oh Computer?"

<Alcar> <Rocky-R-OAD> (( He'll be back as Christis-R-ISN anyway ))
<Alcar> was just good :)
<Alcar> and am tempted to do it ;p
<Alcar> instead of clones, the pc heals from death!
<Alcar> and everyone shoots him as a mutant when he gets back up :p
<Alcar> Golg-O-THA kills the mutant again! :p
<_____> lol
<_____> I can see it
<_____> Christis-B-ORN
<_____> Christis-R-ISN
<_____> Christwillcomea-G-AIN

* Alcar was originally going to blow up briefing room 007 :p
<Alcar> and then your pc can't get to it, can't get to it. *dies* Repeat. Repeat :p
<Alcar> but decided that was too mean so settled for viking longship crashing through the walls.

* Vora looks around again. "Where to start looking.... Well, I guess any way is good as any, as long as it isn't Backward."
* Vora takes Snake's hand reassuringly, and begins to continue onward.
<AlcarGM> Snake squeezes yours, and walks along with yours NOT down a yellow brick road.
* Vora (( skips along, pausing only to eat the dog. ))
<Vora> (( I wonder if it says something about me that when I saw Wizard of Oz when I was little, I thought to myself, "I wonder where the red brick road goes." ))

<AlcarGM> He stares at both o you, then says "I need to see some ID."
<Vora> "I lost all mine." *frowns slightly*
<AlcarGM> He blinks, then says "Excuse me?"
<Vora> "I had to leave all my things."
<AlcarGM> Rookie: "Oh.. why?"
<Vora> "Because we had to leave. Plus, it might have bombs in it. They put one in my teddy. That's why we don't like it there anymore."
<AlcarGM> The rookie stares at you, then licks his lips nervously. "Who is they?"
* Vora shrugs. "Oh, I don't know. Some bad people. I didn't really bother to find out."
<AlcarGM> The rookie hesitates, then says "So some people blew up your, er, teddy bear and you're, uhm, fleeing Haven?"
* Vora nods.

* aslhk imagines gerard in a mosh pit
* aslhk laughs maniacally
* Alcar images him in wwf :p
* BadNastyBadBadBad imagines him carefully not stepping on any toes
<BadNastyBadBadBad> amber wwf
<Alcar> "But I was being gentle and holding back!"
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Cain stands over his body with a chair
<aslhk> OH NO, HE'S GOT THE CHAIR! (allusion to teh library fight between corwin and eric =P)
<BadNastyBadBadBad> "The Cain Backstab triumphs again!"
<Alcar> and the pattern as the ring :p
<Alcar> try and make someone touch on the pattern
<aslhk> Whatever you do, don't bleed!
<Alcar> "He's down for one, two . .what's that horrible burning smell?"

<Alcar> BTW, Sam better not die. My other pc idea involved a D&D fanatic spell caster in amber :p
<aslhk> he could play in mathemagic land =p
<Alcar> but lucky I decided it was too cruel to Amber :)
<aslhk> there will be 1.414 hells devoted to d&d players =p
<BadNastyBadBadBad> I would have to destroy him
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Fiona would take offense to him, and he would spend the rest of his life thinking he was a small shrubbery
<Alcar> with how many hit dice? :p
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Alcar: He wouldn't know anything about hit dice!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> The only thing he'd be able to think would be: "IMATREEIMATREEIMATREE!!!!"
<BadNastyBadBadBad> And he'd wave his arms in the wind
<Alcar> so gust of wind spell at will!

<BadNastyBadBadBad> Fiona would plant him in her garden
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Along with the others
<Alcar> lol... I could see it..
<Alcar> "Wow, that's my old gaming group!"
<BadNastyBadBadBad> "What are those people doing in front of your house?"
<BadNastyBadBadBad> "I think they're getting in tune with the logrus, or something..."
<Alcar> "Aerobics."
<Alcar> "Summoning the flying saucer."
<BadNastyBadBadBad> "Fighting off the invisible demons"

<_____> How long are you going to wait?
<Max`-> (do I have much of a choice?)
* Max`- hallers figuring water and food would do her good
<_____> (( not unless you can come up with some brilliant plan or something ))
<_____> You don't really feel hungry or thirsty
<Max`-> (other then working my way tothe floor and crawling away?)
<_____> You're fairly certain you've been on an IV for the past days/weeks/months
<_____> (( I said 'brilliant' not 'suicidal' ))

<_____> "I'm Adwyn! I'm here to kill you!"
<_____> "...or... rescue you?"
<_____> "I don't remember."
<_____> He stares off into space for a minute.

<Gemm> I can switch any two abilities, da?
<Alcar> nope, reroll 2
<Gemm> oh
<Gemm> or do I just roll d20?
<Alcar> yep
<Gemm> !paranoia
<The_Computer> Gemm, your stats are Strength: 19; Dexterity: 9; Agility: 11; Endurance: 14; Moxie: 3; Chutzpah: 15; Mutant power: 10; Mechanical Aptitude: 7. You like your stats. The Computer says so.
<The_Computer> Gemm, your skill bases are Dexterity: 2; Aglity: 3; Moxie: 0; Chutzpah: 4; Mech int.: 2. Your Maximum HP is 5 and your Macho Bonus is 1. Your Carrying Capacity is 60 kg and your Melee Bonus is 2. Have a nice day :)
<Gemm> 2#1d20
<The_Computer> Gemm 2#1d20: 1 1
<Gemm> fuck you dude.

<_____> Adane: You hear movement in the trees behind you
* Adane runs like hell =p
<Fenrick> "Hey Chicken shit! Its us!"
<_____> (( lol ))
<Adane> "FUCK!" *runs even faster*
<_____> (( * Adane runs faster "Youse cr8z!" ))
<Fenrick> "Heres Johnny!"
<_____> (( lol! ))
* Adane stops, then
<Sammael> (( LOL ))
<Adane> "Just kidding!"

<_____> You pass a few more of the lesser reavers, all of which fall quickly. Tarrod (who hasn't given his name yet), is a bit slower now, seeming to be concentrating on other things
<_____> Sammael takes on with a quick swordstroke, Fenrick` another that gets uncomfortably close, with one of tarrod's knives. He must have retrieved it from somewhere, but none of you noticed.
<_____> Fenrick is quite amazingly quick with knives, as well. Inhumanly so.
* Sammael kils the demon in our midst!
<Fenrick`> being?
<Fenrick`> Adane?
<Sammael> you.
<Adane> lol
<Sammael> "Inhumanly so."
<Adane> inhumanly so =P

<Adane> "So?" to Fenrick, when news is obviously not forthcoming
<Fenrick> "There's an old man with some kids in the house. He says theres a barn some 200 yards from there thattaway." He points in the direction. "We can stay there."
<Fenrick> "I had to choose my words wisely otherwise he would have killed me. We can go back and ask him if you really want to know."
<Adane> "People don't just fucking shoot one another like it's nothing."
<Adane> "I will go talk to him. I'd like a clean shirt anyway. Meet you in the barn in a few minutes."
<Fenrick> "Hey you little freaking nerd-boy. You shut your mouth. THink you can do so much better."
<Adane> "Shouldn't be hard."
* Sammael wonders what world Adane comes from that they don't shoot and kill each other like it's nothing.

<Fenrick> "Ok then... well I'm gonna stick around here for an.. hour. Then I'm going out with this girl behind the counter."
<Adane> "Are you sure? She sounded kind of dowdy."
<Fenrick> "Whatever. If I have sex you know what'll happen? I'll either die, or wish I was dead. Funny isn't it?"
<Adane> "Well, hey, whatever floats your boat."

<Sammael> the streets of Quan are all cobbled with various kinds of stone, often into interesting shapes, or even poems. They're all wide .. no alleyways, no homeless people, no beggars.. it's rather surprising. THe buolgsinare mostly stone, brikc, wood and marble, Lots of gargoyles, cengravings in walls, semi=precious stones decoratintg the cobbles and some buildings. Very nice.
<Ghenn> i'm going to venture a guess that "buolgsinare" is buildings are, and marvel at how the heck that came to be :)
<Sammael> woah.
<Sammael> err...
<Sammael> buildings are :P
<Sammael> and here I thought it was some odd joke and googled buolgsinare :p

<Sammael> The inn you end up picking is known as The Trolls Rest, a large stone building decorated out front by a stone statue of a troll legend claims was turned to stone by some halfling he was planing to eat.
* Ghenn gets himself a room with a rather nice balcony over the water. It'll make it easier for the DM if my killers have a nice, safe landing to reach in order to kill me more swiftly :)

<Sammael> Most of the conversation is centred on the Grand Vizier, who even the most drunk children here won't name, and the extent of hs influence over the aging emperor. No one mentions magic out loud, tho. The only otherbig story of note is unexplained deaths at the Fisherman's Net, a c commoners tavern. Seems most of the people on the stret died, but no one has found any bodies.
<Sammael> There's also stories of a new nation in the south, UK. Nothing concrete, but there's jokes it stands for United Kender
* Ghenn makes sure it's late enough that the Fisherman's Net will be busy, and gets some directions, heading there.
* Ghenn also wishes Ryu didn't exist :)

<_____> The entrance to the building is has a keypad, keycard reader, and thumprint scanner
* Sammael says nothing to that, his last wound being a bit too easy to recall :p
<_____> The door is locked
<_____> Right as Sam tries the door the first time, a busy looking gentleman in a business suit open the door, and rushes past Sam, shoving him a little bit, accidentily. "Sorry!" He says, and rushes off towards the parking lot.
* Adane steps inside.
<_____> Sam manages to grab the door before it closes all the way, and you are inside.
<_____> (( yay for good stuff! ;) ))
<Adane> "Convenient."
<Sammael> "The Lord provides," absently, looking around the interior'
<Adane> "He looked like a pretty normal guy to me."
<_____> (( lol! ))
* Adane just isn't good at picking up on christian phrases =P
* Sammael eyes Arthur oddly for a second :p
* Adane is either deadpan or not joking =p

<Alcar> mib1 was fun :)
<Baliadoc> but yes, that was tons of fun.
<Alcar> it's master is going ot be seriously angry, now.
<Baliadoc> lol, and messed up!
<Alcar> And maybe scared :p
<Baliadoc> ... you say that after every session i play in, dammit!
<Alcar> LOL
<Baliadoc> seriously! someones master is always seriously angry, now.!

<Alcar> Oh, at everyone :)
<Alcar> Orgg managed to piss the Goddess off trying to thank her :)
<Baliadoc> lol
<Alcar> Theliar & Tamil killed a dragon.
<Baliadoc> wow
<Alcar> Ryu, well, uhm, ticked off the Grand Vizier.
<Baliadoc> yeah, but ryu should tick everyone off. it's just healthier that way :)

<Chaos`^> I wanna be a mooist
<Alcar> hehe. They're fun :) Probably the most useless society to get good stuff from, but they don't exactly make demands on pcs.. mind you, finding a wya to count everyone's belly button hair WOULD be hard :p
<Chaos`^> I don't get it
<Chaos`^> it's totally past my bedtime
<Chaos`^> goodnight!

<FSZ-GM> You are in front of a large mansion, Roman style pillars and marble steps lead up to a verdant courtyard ornamented with a fountain.
<FSZ-GM> A red carpet leads past the fountain to a tall teakwood door, torches light up the Garden making the whole of the estate a spectacular spectacle.
<FSZ-GM> "Alright, go in, you will be directed to Tyler by the Secretary.
<FSZ-GM> "Tell him James sent you."
<Adrian> Wow, it's so nice. I wonder how many lowwer class workers made it when they could have used magic?"
<FSZ-GM> You'd imagine more Weapons Inspectors than it takes to change a regime.
<FSZ-GM> er, very many.

<FSZ-GM> keep playin or do it tomorrow?
<FSZ-GM> or wait for him for a bit
<Adrian> Rand cannot counter / As he is no longer real / winter is real cold.
<Theresa> FSZ-GM: the haiku!
<FSZ-GM> I am confused, like a lost boy
<FSZ-GM> oh god.
<Theresa> it had to have a nature reference =P
<FSZ-GM> Oh god.
<Adrian> yep :)
<FSZ-GM> Oh god.
<FSZ-GM> shoot me now?
<Theresa> 1d20 attack!
<Sparkie> Theresa 1d20: 1 attack!
<Theresa> sorry, no can do
<FSZ-GM> Theresa fails miserably :)

<aslhk> I figure either way will be good!
<aslhk> if he dies, it is properly epic, and if he doesn't, it is properly cliche! =P
<aslhk> Evil Premonition of Doom that is Not In Fact Doomful!
<Alcar> True. But he's fun now. So killing him off wouldn't be as fully. Tho it would be nicely tragic. and the pcs decending into the netherworld to rescue him is as cliche as you get :)
<aslhk> that *would* be cool
<aslhk> I was thinking lee would blame orgg and be pissed forever and ever amen =P
<Alcar> not sure WHY you'd have to rescue him, but we can make somehting up :p
<Alcar> like, the goddess intended for Orgg to heal him because she had other plans for him and is now rather angry. And says things to Theliar like "you woldn't like it when I'm angry"
<Alcar> "My goddess just turned into a giant green man and is calling me a 'puny elf'. We must go, now."
<Alcar> tho worded differently :p

<Alcar> It's a simple D&D game involving a kender dark lord and ruler of the UK , elven high priest of a goddess who took 2 sessions to realise he was in fact the high priest, and a love triangle involving an half orc heir to a throne with a royal sword that wants him dead, a confused baron, and another elf disgused as the baron's wife. Oh, and there's a dwarf that shadows talk to.

<AlcarDM> The wheel of time goes round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheel of time goes round and round at 7 o'clock in the evening! ... Ok, fine. Plot, right. There's this wheel, right? and it turns? And ages come and .. .they're like eons, but longer, all right?
<AlcarDM> And they come and go, and everyone forgets them the next time they return, much like the constant "jesus didn't die in the bible" stories every decade the press takes as new and shocking, OK? Geeze. All right, in the third age, which is not a trinity reference at all, geeze ... ok, so it's this third age, which is here, but long past and.. just say it's quantum, all right?
<AlcarDM> And this wind rises .... no, not like uncle frank belching .... it's a wind, in a mountain. It blows south, and does a lot of things, and ends up in Quan, where it summarizes plots. Oh, yeah, and stuff might fall under the Shadow. And if it's the shadows under the washer and dryer, good luck finding it again. Oh, and it's a beginning but not the beginning. Copyright issues.

<Ghenn> "In the event that any evil within is listening to this, it may also be a good sport and kill you swiftly, so that I can get on with my night."
<AlcarDM> He just glares
<Ghenn> in the event that nothing happens, i begin to slow torture him into madness, sending Imnish out for healing potions (both of body and mind) so that I can either a) draw out the demon within, or b) create a somewhat cracked individual who will most likely be immune to the horrors that such demons could inflict on him :)
<Ghenn> of course, physical pain can only take the mind so far. that's why i'm singing bawdy dwarven love songs in my very off-key voice while doing all this :)
<AlcarDM> lol! Torturing him in any specific ways? The Dm asks, vaguely wondering where this fits into the pcs being heroes
<Ghenn> eh, i don't wanna get into the specifics. use your imagination. i'm using mine! and the logic for this being heroic is... well, difficult, to say the least :)
* Ghenn thinks he's doing the guy a favor. he's either strengthening the man's resolve, or drawing out another Shadow to fight. either way, it solves a problem!
<AlcarDM> you dlon't want mine. I'm thinking about water torture, removal of finger and toe nails with red hot pliets, and then coating his more sensetive areas in honey, and importing rats :p

<Ghenn> "If you prove an asset in this venture, I guarantee you'll be a lot happier for it."
<AlcarDM> The MIB barks a quick laugh. "Why?"
<Ghenn> "Mostly, you'll be alive, and not the puppet of a rather lacking dark power."
<AlcarDM> MIB: "... lacking? It can raise the dead!"
* Ghenn sighs
<Ghenn> "Look, been there, done that. It's a lot less impressive once you realize that, when it's dead, it can't raise itself."

<Sintaqx> Current alignments are Chaotic/Stupid, Neutral/Stupid, Lawful/Stupid, Lawful/Neutral, and whatever the thief is, probably Chaotic/Neutral
<Sintaqx> Wizard, druid, paladin, monk, thief. respectively :)

* Theliar`^ leaves Darien and escorts Tamil back to her room, and goes back to his own and sleeps unless something else comes up
<AlcarDM> d100 1 = tac nuke strike on the city
<Sparkie> AlcarDM d100: 34 1 = tac nuke strike on the city
<AlcarDM> Ok, nothing else happens that night.

<Theliar`^> Who is the most able priestess in the temple currently?
<AlcarDM> A priestess named Sara
<AlcarDM> 'j/k
<Theliar`^> ...
<Theliar`^> not funny!
<Theliar`^> You should die for even typing that!
<AlcarDM> she'd make a great priestess tho :p
<Theliar`^> no she wouldn't
<AlcarDM> Of course she would. She would love the fertility aspect :)

<AlcarDM> The kender turns and looks for you .. but you're well hidden
<Ghenn> stupid... curious... kender.
<Ghenn> why is curiosity only deadly to cats? :)

<AlcarDM> The MIB strikes the dwarf in the noggin, forgetting that's the hardest part of a dwarf and looks in something like disbelief at the dented pan
<Darien`> (( perferct facial imprint. Suitable for framing. ))
* Ghenn shakes his head
* Ryu_FeatherFoot takes off his belt and relaces the buckle so that he can slip it over his neck and pull it down nice and tight
<Ghenn> "Ow..."
<AlcarDM> Sadly, Ghenn's luck seems to be taking a tgurn for the worse as the MIB avoids his attacks with ease.
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> (sounds fine, was planning on trying to ride him after getting it around his neck any way)
<Darien`> (( midgets vs. MIB ))
<Darien`> (( thats some hilarious fun, there. ))
<Darien`> (( be even better if you were dressed as Oompa Loompas. ))

<AlcarDM> Ok, Ryu gets on to the counter.. roll attack :p
<AlcarDM> You manage to do it :p
* Ryu_FeatherFoot pulls it nice and tight in fact holds on with both hands and tight then jumps off the counter using his waight to help mess up the MIB
<AlcarDM> The MIB makes a choking sound as the kender pulls him towards the ground.. What's Ghenn do? :p
* Ghenn starts stabbing him a whole lot. Will figure out which "him" he's talking about later :)
<AlcarDM> From the hallway you hear "Someone asked for G .. NO! NO!!!!! IT WANTS TO EAT ME LIKE A PILLLOW!" followed by sreaming
<Darien`> (( why the hell do I always picture kender like mini kobolds? *shakes head* Something wrong with me, I think. ))

<AlcarDM> The librarian leads you down over a hundred old, mossy steps, passing some rather old doors, and finally stops at a small landing beside a metal door engraved with runes. "Ah, here we go."
<AlcarDM> she runs her hands over the door and her hand... changes... becoming reptilian, scaled, and clawed.
<Theliar`^> freky
* Theliar`^ just watches silently
<AlcarDM> After a few seconds, she hisses softly, and looks up at you, her face strange, alien, eyes glowing a bright rred, razor sharp teeth, scaley skin and a sense of danger about her. "Seee. Dangerous wards, this has. Read what you wish, take nothing out." She touches the door wiht both hands, and it opens slowly
* Theliar`^ nods "right."
* Theliar`^ enters
<AlcarDM> The demon librarian hesitastes, then says "And remmeber - return uscrolls before the due date, and be silent." And goes back upstairs, returns to the old lady shape

<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Yah, I don't think they like the idea of bucket eating them."
* Ghenn removes the MIB's head and tosses it in an oven... then throws in a couple of limbs for good measure... then the whole damn body
<Darien`> (( ok, he's crazy, and needs to be stopped. ))
<Ghenn> "Stupid bastard. Try to cut a guy a break, and look what happens?"
<AlcarDM> Lisha stares at the scene.....
<AlcarDM> Bucket stops, "Bucket?" looking confused
<Ghenn> "I've got to go. I've got another asshole like this one to deal with."
<Ryu_FeatherFoot> "Wouldn't happen to know your way to the dungeon would you?"
<Darien`> (( sure, just follow the signs, duh ;) ))
<Ghenn> "I'm working on that. He was supposed to show me." *nods to the guy stuffed in the oven*
<Ghenn> "Now, before he comes on back, let's get moving."
* Ghenn heads out down the hall

<AlcarDM> Ok .. the books have interesting titles like "Vaen - gods or someting else" "Necronomicon" "Relevations 2 - Just When You Thought it Was Safe To Sin" and "The Life And Times of St. Dogbert" but the one that catches you're eye is a smal journal, intitled, and in it's own glasss case

<AlcarDM> Tamil: "Then... then maybe mentioning his old name would be a bad idea?"
<Theliar`^> "Why?"
<Theliar`^> "Think I'll attract attention?" With a grin
<AlcarDM> She looks at you and just nods, looking a little pale. "Maybe."
<Theliar`^> "Exactly! That's the plan! I hope to get everyone's attention, infact, I hope the entire cosmos come knocking at my door... Maybe then I will get some answers."
<AlcarDM> Tamil stares at you "And what would you do if it did?!"
<Theliar`^> "Ask it a couple questions..."
<AlcarDM> At that exact moment, the door shatters inward and two men with small crossbows burst into the room. They're wearing black cloaks, shades, about 6" tall and dark air .. they could be brothers.

<AlcarDM> Tamil spins around, startled. The one man levels his crossbow at her, the other points his at you and says "No sudden moves."
<Theliar`^> "I don't plan on moving... You could knock."
* Theliar`^ leans back and tries to relax.
<Theliar`^> "Infact, I think I require even the cosmos to knock.. Did I not just say that Tamil? Tell them I said that."
<AlcarDM> Tamil just stares at you like you're insane
<AlcarDM> the 2nd MIB, who addressed you, says "You're getting dressed, and coming with us. Now."
<Theliar`^> (( I just read the diary of a murdorus megolomaniac writen on skin in blood, and she thinks i'm only insane? ))
<Theliar`^> "You are mistaken, I am in the tub right now, You must work on your tenses... Time doesn't like it when you mix them up..."

<TassPassedOut> I have a GM irl who wants to run amber
<TassPassedOut> got any tips for a new amberite?
<BadNastyBadBadBad> TassPassedOut: Don't trust anyone!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Beware random people who are in any way important to the story! They are probably Oberon in disguise!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Amberites never die, no matter how dead they seem! Always assume they are alive and plotting your death!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> If they really are dead, you don't lose anything, and if not, it may save your life!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> I have just given you several of the trade secrets of surviving as an Amberite!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> There are more, but if I told them to you, I'd have to kill you, and replace you with a shadow.
<aslhk> The most important tip: One can never waste time plotting and implementing evil plots!

<aslhk> the best advice in the world
<aslhk> read both series! Then read them again!
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Oh yeah
<BadNastyBadBadBad> And Merlin is just completely nuts
<BadNastyBadBadBad> So you can't trust him, either
<BadNastyBadBadBad> Not to mention a total tool
<BadNastyBadBadBad> If you didn't notice what an utter and completely toolish tool merlin was when you read that series
<BadNastyBadBadBad> read it until you do!

<Baliadoc> you're the crazy religious guy, right?
<Baliadoc> that's a horribly generalized impression i got of your character from watching you play for 3 minutes, btw :)
<Baliadoc> but it was a good segway into asking that question...
<Alcar> Sam is not insane. He's a vampire who believes he's an angel of death out to deliver the lords vengeance on the unbelievers and convert the rest to God.
<Baliadoc> gotcha!
<Alcar> It began as a 2 am joke about a vampire in a larp and turned into an Amber pc by the sort of logic that a vampire christian would be an angel.
<Alcar> It made sense at the time, I think :p
<Alcar> He's only tried to kill one pc so far, though.
<Baliadoc> i like the idea that you try to make sense of your ideas. that's funny
<Baliadoc> he sounded cool, though :)

* Alcar chuckles.
<Alcar> An early-summer run opening for alt-rock heartthrob Pete Yorn confirms this. Frustration with crowd indifference contributed to an unfortunate incident at the Indianapolis show, in which Grandaddy opened with a new song entitled "Play Whatever You Want for About Six Minutes."
<PlayerZero> sounds like fsz running a D&D game :P
* Alcar has run entire sessions like that. I just tossed in scenes and such and made sense of it about 3/4 of the way through the session. Was quite fun.
<PlayerZero> oh that reminds me of FSZ's game with me and firefly
<PlayerZero> me firefly and spaceman
<PlayerZero> we were so into our characters, that he had to practically blow up the tavern to get us out of it
* Alcar blinks.... unique.

* Chaos`^ is now known as Theliar
* Alcar is now known as AlcarDM
<Theliar> Theliar's in a very bad state of mind, and I am in a very wierd state of mind from being on such a wierd damn sleeping schedule... I think I'm an insomniac.. but I can't be, because I sleep 12 hours! WTF!?
<AlcarDM> Interesting beginning....
<Theliar> Tomorow I gotta be to bed by midnight.. but how do I do that!?
<Theliar> uhg... I hate this...
<Theliar> anyway...
* Theliar is walking

<AlcarDM> The 2 MIB are leading you and Tamil to the palace of the Emperor of Quan, or more accurately to the One in Grey beneath said dnugeon. For reasons having to do with the non-existant survival instinct that lets people become adventurers - to say nothing of PCs - you're going with them.
<Theliar> (( Actually, I'm doing it to spare the MIB that would kill me ;))

* PlayerZero Quit (Quit: User reset by beer)
<AlcarDM> (( tech, want to play an npc? ))
<AlcarDM> hah! I had to :p
<Theliar> ROFLMAO!

<AlcarDM> The 2nd MIB shakes his slowly, looking tired. "Well, I didn't expect that."
<Theliar> "Yeah, me niether... Well, good bye."
* Theliar heads out of the trees
<AlcarDM> He shakes his head "You don't get .... oh." he shrugs, and is a fairly young, plain looking elf in a gren tunic and pants with long black hair and bright blue eyes, looking vaguely amused.
<Theliar> "Don't get to say goodbye? Oh, I just did.. Tamil, now."
<AlcarDM> Tamil nods, stepping beside you. "we
<AlcarDM> Tamil nods, stepping beside you. "we're leaving."
<Theliar> (( I'm reminded of agent smith from the matrix turning into his tolken counterpart... with black hair It's scary actually ))
<Theliar> (( Never do that again alcar =( I will never have a good nights sleep again... I'll have nightmares of turning into a tolken elf... and you know how that goes! ))

<Eltanan> Someday will have Holodecks, and LARPing will become the biggest form of entertainment anyone has ever seen. And good ST's will be in demand.
<Eltanan> it'll happen.
<Alcar> Reasons to run a Star Trek game: Seeing Captain Kirk rp a vampire

<Fenrick> Yes, Dane is dead.
<_____> Fenrick: He already saved your life twice, you fucking ingrate
<Sammael> All the more reason to kill him!
<Fenrick> (Its nothing against Dane, but something against his player. The twat.)
<Sammael> Anyone capable of saving your life is also capable of ending it.
<_____> Metagaming will be met with swift and liberal doses of GM bad stuff
<_____> If you want your character to spend his life dodging meteors and lightning strikes, feel free to metagame to your heart's content! :P
<_____> (I would also like to note that it would be a very, very short life)
<Sammael> (( Amber, the action movie :P ))
<_____> (( Hanging around Fernando and Delcine can be damn near that :P ))
<Sammael> (( jackass variant: breakdance on the Pattern, blindfolded, summoning the Logrus ))

* Sammael just realised JW's would have made a great enemy for Sam.. "Well, they're not sure what is going on, but every single one who goes in those 3 blocks tends to die..."
<_____> That's what I was thinking
<_____> I was like: I wonder what he does with all the bodies
<Sammael> Sam "Well, the cut isn't that bad, really. I'm sure you could get a blood transfusion, but you don't do that, do you? Oh, well."
<Sammael> he wraps them in copies of Watchtower like one does a fish in paper and leaves them in dumpsters, of course.

<Dane> "Reavers? Where are you?"
<Fenrick> "La Nouveau, 4th and main, in Dickinson."
<Dane> "Okay, how long can you stay away from them?"
<Fenrick> "Well, if we don't move maybe they won't see us, eh?"
<Dane> "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. If we somehow manage to get there before you fucking die, I am going to slap you."
<Dane> "Now call the police, we'll be there as soon as we fucking can."
* Dane hangs up
<Fenrick> "I would rip your arm out, were I not already in pieces."

<Sammael> <Fenrick> "Guilty conscience? I was going to get laid, then die. What else could I ask for?" <-- a new lobotomy since the old one didn't take? :p

<Fenrick> "Ya, because you know, it was all -my- fault."
<Dane> "I didn't say that. Guilty conscience?"
<Fenrick> "Guilty conscience? I was going to get laid, then die. What else could I ask for?"
<Dane> "The first thing I'd ask for, if I were you, is not to be a fucking idiot."
<Dane> "If you're so keen to die, why the fuck did you call me and waste my fucking time?"
<Fenrick> "Hmmm, lets see. Because I didn't want to see that girl get killed."
<Dane> "How fucking noble. Now let's get you to a brothel."

<_____> He takes out what looks like a large wallet, and produces a card (big and thick, like a tarot card).
<_____> He stands there motionless for a few moments, apparently not doing anything
<_____> And there's someone else standing there now. You're not sure quite how she got there... you were busy watching Fernando. If you didn't know better, you'd say she just appeared out of thin air.
<_____> Delcine is tall (just over six feet), and lightly built, with short, jet-black hair and blue eyes. Her features are sharp, her expression peaceful and relaxed yet strangely vigilant. She bears a striking similarity to Fernando, particularly in the way she moves... like a cat, stalking its prey, no motion wasted, or inadvertant.
* Dane just stares, for a moment, then his face breaks into a big grin. He is obviously elated at this turn of affairs.
<Dane> "Finally! Finally someone pulls somethink fucking WORTHWHILE out of thin air!"

<FSZ-Storytellin> Space continues warping around the head of the goat, funneling back and forth, Freud, this is probably more than just a conjencture of your mind. A large Satrye is standing, with a blade in hand.
<FSZ-Storytellin> <Goatman> "Har Har Har... Und Hael Hitlar!"
<Karl_Freud> "You! You are obviously a manifestation of the remnants of my birth trauma! Bah! Get thee behind me! I have no time for such trifles! I am the psychotherapist you must OBEY ME NOW!"
* HerrBraunIII tries to estimate food and shelter costs for the goatman.
<FSZ-Storytellin> Guys, this goat looks to have some serious psychological problems judging by his deep voice, menacing eyes, and chainsaw. By the way he is cutting things costs look very high HerrBraunIII.
<HerrBraunIII> "This will not do! This goat man must be put down immediately!"

<AlcarDM> To Recap: Ryu and Ghenn are heading into the dungeons to meet the Figure in Grey. Theliar is heading back to his hotel after meeting a former nailfile who gave advice, among other things. Lee is, uhm, doing her hair. For an hour or two. Until her player gets here. Lirk and Orgg are't doing anyone's hair - yet.
<AlcarDM> Good recap?
<Theliar`^> Yes
<AlcarDM> alright, then.
<AlcarDM> The *cough* of Time turns, moments come and pass, leaving mans that become groans. Groans fade to sighs, and even sighs are long forgotten when the *cough* that gave it *ahem* comes again. In one age, called the alimony age by some, a check yet to come, a check long bouced, a wind arose ... and the chances for a second meeting were dashed as the dragon farted rater obscenely and proceeded to eat dinner with his fingers.
<AlcarDM> No, not that dinner you sickos. Geeze. Oh, and the shadow might cover all, and believeme, Mr. Dragon isn't the kind you'd want to meet in bright light. Oh, and the wind blew south as Time giggled and had mad sex with Einstein somewhere past C to both gratify him and cause his brains to melt out his ears.
<AlcarDM> And now, on with the show!
<AlcarDM> There's the robert Jordan intro thingy.

<Orgg> because the current process for magic weapon construction involves: A)Get metals
<Orgg> B)Enchant metals
<Orgg> C)Have smith make weapon with enchanted metals
<Orgg> since the blood thing has worked so well in the past =P
<_____> only a barbarian...
<Orgg> but that doesn't work with the maul
<_____> Orgg: It just hurts a lot more

<Theliar`^> "So there's a rule that you need to look familiar to me?"
<AlcarDM> Death shrugs. "You couldn't see me as I am. Not even your gods can do that. So I appear as someone you knew."
<Theliar`^> "oh... I can't say I knew you... Just that you look familiar... Ah well..."
* Theliar`^ sighs and leans himself forward on the table and looks around
<Theliar`^> "Who can?"
<AlcarDM> Death: "Children, cats. Dogs, sometimes."
<Theliar`^> "Oh... Well, I'm sure you're true self is beutiful in itself... Whatever gender that is."
<AlcarDM> Death looks amused: "Gender?"

<AlcarDM> Lirk: "You're the - Uhm - I'm the Baron. I could tell them not to."
<Orgg> "That just doesn't seem right."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Isn't it better than people getting hurt?"
<Orgg> "Mucking about with people's head is unnatural. Knocking them around isn't."
* ChanServ sets mode: +v Sango-chan
<AlcarDM> Lirk blinks, then says "Oh. Ok, then."

<AlcarDM> They regard you balefully, but aren't stupid enough to say or do anything ... for now. The Mob disperses, having failed a Morale check.
<AlcarDM> (Even though the Dm doesn't even recall if 3e has morale checks, but that's not relevant. Really.)
<Orgg> (lol)
<FSZ> (( no morale checks... Will saves.))
<AlcarDM> (( oh, ok then. They failed that, too :) ))

<Alcar> "Guess what is REALLY the heart of the logrus ..." "Singers? Why are those logrus masters singing?"
<_____> no no no
<_____> dworkin = cthulhu
<Alcar> Nyarlathotep = dworkin :p
<Alcar> cthulhu as the unicorn...
<Alcar> tho serpent might be better ;)
<Alcar> or both, for a really twisted bit.
<_____> I like him as the unicorn
<_____> Then the other elder gods would tease him constantly
<Alcar> and deep ones = amberites.. in Remba, of course Remba would be more real than amber :p

<AlcarGM> You're both relaxing in Troubleshooter HQ in IAM sector, passing the time by playing Commie: The Hunting, a card game involving batteries, various sectors (white, red, blue, and black being the most common) and tapping the table to indicate when your turn is up
<AlcarGM> If you split too many knuckles on the syntheplastic you're tapped out. Just as the game is getting interesting as loud wailing klaxon fills the air:
<AlcarGM> "Ring! Ring! Ring! I'm sorry, no one is available to take your call at the moment. Please hang uo, and try your call again. This has been a recording." followed by a very loud *BEEEP*

<Jenn-R-Fer> "Computer sweetie, what's going on here?"
<Jenn-R-Fer> (( cancel that, don't need more confusion :) ))

<AlcarGM> There is a flash of orange light and Pur_NRG goes to meet His Maker, leaving a pair of smoking boosts behind
* Jenn-R-Fer runs back out to the battle. "Umm... guys... now would be a great time to run!"

<Jenn-R-Fer> (( can someone send me a log of what the mission is? or give me a summary?))
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << we're not sure. >>
<Pur_NRG-2`> ((we have no idea ourselves :P)
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << The computer got a 404 as it tried to tell us >>

* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` just standing there, laser pistol pointed in Jenn-R-FER / Kirk-O / Spock / Pur_NRG-2` 's general direction.
<Jenn-R-FER> "Cease Fire?" Jenn says tentatively
<AlcarGM> One of the furry bots epxlode, leaving the remaining 3 to scurry into the ventilation system.
<AlcarGM> Spock dies.
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` holsters his weapon and walks towards the others.
<AlcarGM> Kirk stands, shirt torn and bloodied, face a mask of rage and faces the troubleshooters .... then sees Jenn. "Oh, helllo! Are you busy this nightcycle?"

<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Friend Computer, This orange level citizen used an unregistered mutant power!"
<The_Computer> "Please submit proof."
<AlcarGM> Kirk: "It's a plot to frame me by Kan!"
<Jenn-R-FER> "Well, one of you could shoot him to check if he heals..."
<AlcarGM> Kirk looks alarmed. "No need ot do that! What if i don't?"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> "Then.. well.. You don't."
* Mulaverti-R-SIL-1` points his laser pistol at Kirk's head and fires.
<Pur_NRG-2`> "either way, you fired in my direction without reason either shooting at me or at spock"
<Mulaverti-R-SIL-1`> << Mulaverti is now in save his own ass mode now. >>
<AlcarGM> Mulaverti fires and Kirk's head explodes in a shower of gore
<Jenn-R-FER> (( Can't we all just get along... ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> (I like pancakes)
<The_Computer> "Citizen Mulaverti-R-SIL, please report to a termination centre for destruction of valuable computer property, in trhe person of one Kirk-O. Thank you and have a delerious daycycle."

<Pur_NRG-2`> "Wait, didn't Kirk destroy computer property too by squashing that hair bot?"
<The_Computer> "Are you questioning me, citizen Pur_NRG?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "This is a test of your loyalty, citizen Pur_NRG. Please answer yes or no to the following. "Are you a commie?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "asking for clarification"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Have you ever wanted to be a commie?"
<Pur_NRG-2`> "no"
<The_Computer> "Do you always answer in negatives?"
<Jenn-R-FER> (( there is so going to be a trick question. oh. screwed. ))
<Pur_NRG-2`> "clarification"
<The_Computer> "Citizen Jenn-R-FER, please escort citizens Pur_NRG and Mulaverti-R-SIL to the nearest termination chamber, 2 levels down. Thank you for serving The Computer."

<_____> Fenrick is going to die :<
<Sammael> what, again?
<_____> Pretty much, yeah
<Sammael> ouch
<Sammael> So, it's like.. Fenrick: "Hey, you're not even a paying customer!" *shoves one eyes serpent out of the bed*
<Sammael> actually, I' d pay to see that :P

<_____> He shakes his head. "I need a new shirt."
<_____> He opens one of the drawers in the dresser (which is, fortunately, not filled with dismembered limbs and suchlike), and produces a shirt identical to the one he is currently wearing, even the right size.

* Sammael could see Dane proving that it's not possible to decide probbability...
<Sammael> "Has your Pattern read THIS yet?"
<Dane> *laugh*
<Dane> he may!
<Sammael> Fernando: "Walking the pattern does NOT involve going up and calling it a fucking twit."

<_____> The trees rustle gently in the soft, cool breeze. The sun makes its way through the holes in the canopy in thin, brilliant rays.
* Sammael discards a pop can in the idyllic scenery :p

* Sammael continues to walk, then says "Do you think there are wothwhile things that are not dangerous?" to Fernando
<_____> "Of course! Not many dangerous things are worthwhile, in my experience."
<_____> "Danger and violence inevitably lead to destruction and suffering. It's better to cherish than attack, to create than to destroy."
<_____> "It just depends on how you want to look at it, I guess. How do you want to look at it?"
<_____> He looks you in the eyes as he says this, and you sense a seriousness about him that you have seldom seen before.
* Sammael considers that, then says "Sometims it is necessary. For example, with cockroaches, it tends to be the only solution. And with cancers. It is hard to cherish things that are no more if they are not protected."
<_____> "And what will you do when men are as cockroaches to you, Sam?"
<Sammael> (( "They already are." ))

<AlcarDM> Death: "God can't die, in any way you'd understand. They were here before your world and will be here after it, in some form or another. It is an old arrangement, I think. So, no, I cannot kill one .. but I could change them."
<Theliar`^> "you think? Anyway, change them... How?"
<Theliar`^> Curiouser and Curiouser
<AlcarDM> Death shrugs. "I am above your gods, but there are others above me as well. And change them by .. showing them the world as they can't see it, making them aware of things they did not know for, killing their illusions. Thyey may chose not to change, but they will know about the other choice, for a very long time."
<Theliar`^> "Sounds dubious and a violation of their right to be stupid... But I like it. So what truth did they see before?"

<Britu> "Blast, the king's been turned into a fetus again. Get the jar..."

<AlcarDM> The guard supresses a sigh "Name, title, and what's it about, then?"
<Ania> "I am Ania Lightbringer, emmisary and paladin of God."
<Ania> (( we're on a mission from god ))
<AlcarDM> He turns a tad pale and the other two guards stand down, quickly, as if you'd slapped them. "The .. ah ... mission, my lady?" in a far more respectul tone.
<Ania> "I need to discuss that with the Baron." (simply)
<Ania> (( she doesn't want to say too much until she knows what's going on, so she doesn't mislead anyone :P ))
<Ania> (( lol, those years of playing a compulsively honest samurai are paying off! :P ))

<AlcarDM> Lirketh looketh at thou younder visage, and thine eyes meeteth his forsamuch as they canst whist not doing theeeselves lasting damageth
<Ania> (( yay! we are medieval now! ))

* Sammael is thinking of a child travelling through Shadow. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
<Sammael> "Wow, this place is neat! Can we go to disneyland next?"
<Sammael> "Ooh! I wanna do the pattern! Wanna do the neat ride!"
<Dane> Dane almost busted out with "are we there yet?" =P
<Dane> but then he was preoccupied with philosophical discussions and the like
<Sammael> Sam's playeer would have commented about disneyland being prettier, but Sam wouldn't :p
<_____> "Ok, nuff tyrrenidalle, let's go to DISNEYLAND!
<Dane> Tyrrenidalle Disneyland!
<Sammael> the pattern as a disneyland ride would be neat :)
<Dane> you know they want to =P
<Sammael> "You have to be this tall to use this ride."
<_____> dane and sam would be screwed
* _____ imagines random stabbing the guy who tries to keep him off the ride

* Sammael takes n ot that Dane dreamt it as well, but isn't surprised. "Who built it?" quietly
<_____> "It wasn't built, it has always existed in potential. Corwin's creation of the Pattern was what allowed it to manifest." Delcine replies.
<Dane> "Ah, it was hanging outside plato's cave with the ones and the twos, I guess."
<Dane> "So how did he create the pattern?"
<_____> "That is..." she seems to search for the word for a moment, "technical."
* Dane adds it to his list of Things to Learn
* Sammael 's player is worried
<Dane> ((you don't think I bid on endurance for nothing, do you? =P))

<_____> The style of the buildings looks rather like some of the finest artisans of the renaissance got together and created the most incredible works they possibly could. There is something fundamentally and deeply pleasing about even the least fine and ornate structures.
* Sammael watches them for a while then says "I don't suppose our credit cards work here... how do we pay for things?"
<_____> (( "Strict building codes," says Fernando. ))
<_____> (( :P ))
<Sammael> (( hehe. Strata fees in Tyrrendialle.... ))
<_____> Fernando looks lost for a split second, as if he had never really considered having to pay for things here, before.
<Sammael> (( Amber: The Mafia, a new game from white wolf.... ))
<_____> "Oh, you can get some money at the castle if you want. Or just introduce yourself as 'Prince Sam.'"
<Sammael> "Prince Sam?" carefully. "Unless I missed something, I'm not royalty."
<_____> (( "The family" doesn't have to pay for anything. ))
<_____> (( Anyone tries to get fresh with yous, we rubs em out, see? ))
<_____> (( :P ))
<Sammael> (( "and besidess, I'd prefer Cardinal. Do you have an inquisition with openings for a talented and dedicated individual?" ))

<Sammael> damn, I should have played a female social worker. "What? They don't keep track of their children? I've heard of absentee parents, but this is ridiculous! Domthey KNOW what they do tho the fragile psyches of thier children? Do they have ANY sense of responsibility at all?!"
<Dane> what is it with you and insane pcs anyway? =P
<Dane> Why can't you play a sane one!? =P
<Sammael> "Children! You're all a bunch of children! The greek gods were mature compared to you?!"
<Dane> social workers wouldn't say that =P they like children
* Sammael rarely plays insane pcs. Sam, for example, is perfectly normal :p
<Dane> yes, compared to a social worker, perhaps =P
<Sammael> Not if they've been working for over 20 years :p
<Dane> point

* Sammael is having images of a tribal vilage sacrificing people by throwing them on the pattern for some reason
<Sammael> quick cooking meals
<Sammael> and running it would be a test of acheiving adulthood....
<_____> lol
<_____> "Only looooooosers walk the pattern. Real men RUN it. Or are you a sissyboy?" (Amberite peer pressure)

* Max`-` eyes him "Whats the first duty of a prisoner?"
* Max`-` does stop tho but is leaning on one of the bars kinda casualy
<_____> "Not dying. If you try to escape, I will shoot you, and you will die."

<_____> "So what do you think?" Jurt asks
<Dane> "I think I could spend years down here."
<_____> (( "That's funny, because this isn't the real pattern, this is a cheap knock-off we got in mexico!" ))
<_____> (( :P ))
<Sammael> (( lol ))
<Sammael> (( on the floor below, "Made in taiwan" ))

* Carl` looks out the window, 'THis doens't feel right, not at all."
<AlcarGM> <Needles> mutters "you think?"
<Carl`> "What are we supposed to do? get an appointment, show up, then kick him in the teeth?"
* Carl` lets out a breath
<Piotr`> "I like your thinking Carl."
<Ryan```> "One imagines that unless he is absolutely unreasonable, a large sum of money should clear this up."
<Carl`> "That makes one of us."
<AlcarGM> <Needles> "We can turn the gate guard into an ice cube and break in through the front door," sarcastically. "Oh, wait, we already did that."

<Julius> "Who knows? Maybe he'll settle for a simple ransom."
<Piotr`> "Or maybe not."
<Julius> "If not, then that's why we're prepared."
<Julius> "We .. are prepared, right?"
<Ryan```> "When have we been ready for anything?"
<Julius> "Your truthfulness is starting to scare me..."
<Ryan```> "Just makes things more challenging. But life would be boring if everything were too easy."

<Ryan```> (i'm beginning to wonder if everyone died m'self!)
<AlcarGM> (( same.... ))
<Ryan```> (well, at least we're still alive.)
<Ryan```> (though I'm still not going out with you. even though you ARE the last man on Earth.))
<AlcarGM> (( oh, you suck then! :p ))
<Ryan```> ((hehehe))
<AlcarGM> (( oh, wait, you wouldn't then.... well.. ))
<AlcarGM> (( something bad, then! ))
<Ryan```> ((... right))

<AlcarGM> You doing anything?
* Vora waits around comatosely.
<AlcarGM> hmm...
<AlcarGM> for how long?
<Vora> until they buy that I'm dead, or until I, for whatever reason, am physically unable to remain still. Which probably wouldnt be for quite a while.
<AlcarGM> Well ,he plans to remain for 25 hours :)
<Vora> (( freakin' insomniac... ))
<AlcarGM> (( and completely insane, too! ))
<AlcarGM> (( oh, wait, do you mean me or Kurtz? ))

<Valient> the only PC that should ever have time travel abilities is me.
<Valient> And thats because i actually understand how startrek time travel works.
<Valient> a feat not accomplished by many people.
* AlcarGM does not use star trek time travel :p
* AlcarGM uses the laws of narrative causality, a lot of "oh, crap, how can this work?" and no set future and no set past.. all is malleble.

<AlcarDM> As Tamil leaves you have a sudden feeling of vertigo and a strong desire ... no, need .... to follow her. Something feels.. wrong
<Ania> Weird!
* Ania follows her, then, being rather accustomed to that sort of thing
<Ania> Q: What's the difference between a Paladin and a schizophrenic? A: The schizophrenic can get well and leave.
* Ania grins :P

<Orgg> "You have saved many lives today."
<AlcarDM> Tamil: "At least 4, I think." she kicks her horse into a trot.
<Ania> "Thank you. It saddens me to have lost even one, though."
* Orgg nods
<Orgg> "He should not have said the things that he said."
<AlcarDM> (( Ania needs to meet Sam, he can straighten her out. ))
<Orgg> "His blood is on his own head."
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "I think it's on his chest."
* Orgg looks
<Orgg> "Right."
<Orgg> "He is responsible for his own death."
* Orgg rephrases.

<AlcarDM> Night falls, missing all of you but unfortunately killing a peasant child a mile away and yo find yourselves in the dark wood formerly belongong to the nameless necromancer and now the domain of the kender dark lord. Lots of bone white trees, leaveds and everything, as if they were trees turned to bone or bones grown into trees. The mansion of the Dark Lord is a mile distant and looks deserted and forbidding.
<AlcarDM> (( And, since D*D PCs have the survival instincts of a suicidal lemming, this means you must go there and get killed! ))
<Ania> (( Damn, you got us there ))

<AlcarDM> Lirk: "One of my men said a necromancer lives there and likes to perform dark arts." Hde pauses, then frowns. "He never said what ones, though. Or if he had a gallery."
<Ania> (( damn, I only took diplomacy, and who needs that when you've got a sword? :P ))
* Ania wonders if THIS is what she is supposed to do
<AlcarDM> Tamil stares at Lirk, then says "Sometimes I wonder if you really are this stupid."
<Orgg> "I shudder to think what monstrousities would be included in a gallery of such dark arts."
<Ania> "We should go speak with him, and insure that he doesn't pose a danger to anyone."
<Ania> (( heheheh ))
<AlcarDM> Lirk: "Watercolours in black?" hesitantly.

<AlcarDM> 5#1d20+6 - Nox Lupus, round 3!
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 5#1d20+6: 13(7) 26(20) 25(19) 25(19) 17(11) - Nox Lupus, round 3!
<Ania> (( holy shit ))
<AlcarDM> (( ..... ))
<Ania> (( I want some of those rolls, sparkie! ))
<AlcarDM> 3#2d4+3 - Tamil, Lirk, Orgg
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 3#2d4+3: 9(6) 9(6) 9(6) - Tamil, Lirk, Orgg
<AlcarDM> ....
<AlcarDM> right.

* Alcar is debating having Tamils wound get worse and do a whole LOTR spoof :)
<_____> You should!
<_____> We should have to go on some quest to get something to heal her
<Alcar> except it would be 9 horses without riders :)
<_____> And orgg and lirk should start showing strange symptoms!
<Alcar> well, you do need to visit Hariet. Or her successor if she's already dead :p
<_____> We should have to get hydras blood or something
<Alcar> tinfoil, the pedestrian relative of kingsfoil!
<Alcar> "You need to get the sleeve of a brown dress under the mnight of a new moon from a sleeping maiden"
<Alcar> magical ritual item finding should be like a demented scavenger hunt :)

<_____> Just remember, when you jump off a cliff, it's not the ground's fault that you die!
<Gemm> Well you were bitching at me for not fighting enough.
<_____> Well, you certainly fought!
<_____> Suicide is a bit different from combat, though!
<Gemm> eat me.
<_____> You're not my type :<
<Gemm> yes you are.
<_____> I know *I* am my type :P

<Fenrick> Yes, I love being injured.
<Fenrick> Thank you Alcar. :P
<Sammael> Tarrod says your welcome :)
<Fenrick> You could've gone for my spleen, or apendix. Something Fenrick didn't need. But no, his lungs.:P
<Sammael> Actually went for something he needed more butcha dodged :p
<_____> It's not his fault Fenrick decided to go get his ass kicked and have his wounds open up again
<Fenrick> yea I know, its your fault. :P Making me think I needed to keep up on the warfare thing.
<_____> You know
<_____> I have no problem accepting responsibility for fucking my players over
<_____> But that was TOTALLY not in ANY WAY my fault
<_____> I have never, and WILL never accept responsibility for the idiotic things my pcs do :P

<Sammael> new WW game Amber: The Psychopaths...
<_____> GM: The fuckening

<alcarDM> The sword of the avenging paladin does snicker snack and the headless horseman is now also missing a torso.
<Ania> (( * Ania does a touchdown dance in the endzone ))
<alcarDM> The legs are currently stone. Exactly how they became stone is best left to the imagination of the Land.
<Ania> (( See, kids? Drug'll kill ya! ))

<alcarDM> The devil horse is eating out the brains of the young boy ... exactly how and why a young boy ended up in the crater you may never know. The hourse looks up, and begins to flee!
* Ania persues, and hopefully catches the vile thing
<alcarDM> The Horse is fleeing Ania, but not well, and obviously confused.
* Ania rains doom down upon its doomed head
<Ania> (( actually, it would make a cool mount, other than that eating small children thing ))
<alcarDM> Ok, Ania reaches the poor doomed horse, who is trying to figure out why it doesn't like hay, and what in hell is going on, ahyway? and cuts it's head off with ease.
<alcarDM> Meanwhile, two humans wander down intom the crater and stare at the eaten boy. After a long time, one says "You know, he might have been .. " "Boys don't fall from the sky, Martha." "I gues you're right, Jonathan. I guess you're right. I would have named him Clark..."
<Ania> (( THAT BASTARD! :P ))

<Baliadoc> ROFLMAO
<Baliadoc> that's just messed up!
* Alcar nods. But very cliche!
<Baliadoc> but hilarious :)
<Alcar> well .. maybe not....
<Baliadoc> ...
<Baliadoc> thank you, for that small concession ;)
<Alcar> It was just a horrible idea I couldn't resist :p

<Orgg> "She is an elf, and male, in disguise."
* Orgg wonders at this point how it is holding up so well =P
<Orgg> "I think."
<Orgg> "Is that important?"
<alcarDM> Marna touches Tamil lightly with one hand, then draws it away. "Very.. cold.." and begins stripped her clinically. She looks at the woman's body, then up at you. "Female in disguise seems more likely, I think. Unless you k now men who are women?"
<alcarDM> And yeah, Tamil/Lee seems to have been a women.. disguised as a man .. disguised as a woman.
<Ania> (( nope, d&d disguise is just horribly broken! ))
<alcarDM> (( Orgg learns new weirdness about elves.. ))
<alcarDM> (( Not THAT much :p ))
<Ania> (( with enough disguise, you, too can create vaginas and penii from thin air! ))

<alcarDM> Hrm, I have this image of a king and no one knowing he is the king....
<alcarDM> "But that is your king!" "He's kind of scruffy..."
<Ania> "Well i didn't vote for you!"
<Ania> "You don't VOTE for king..."
<alcarDM> "Prove it! Birth certificate!"
<alcarDM> "This is D&D! We don't HAVE those!"
<alcarDM> "So you can't!"
<Orgg> "But... what about the glowing hand in the sky?"
<Orgg> "You want glowing hands in the sky? I can get you a glowing hand in the sky! With nail polish!"

<Ania> "Perhaps it can tell us more. If not, there is certainly SOMEONE who can."
* Orgg nods
<alcarDM> Lirk: "Maybe we can ask people."
<Orgg> "I do not like mucking about in the affairs of wizards, but it seems we have little choice in the matter."
<alcarDM> (( Lirk: "because they're not subtle and liable to blow our freaking heads off and really quick to anger?" ... if he knew about wizards :P ))
<Ania> (( Wizards are just like anyone else... only with less hitpoints ))
<Ania> (( :P :P :P ))

<AlcarGM> Snake is lying in the simple bed on one corner, head wrapped in bandages, A stainless steet trolly is beside it, filled iwht lots of pointy, sharp thingds, gauze, and pills.
<AlcarGM> Like a dentists table, if it was owned by Rambo. Dr. Moreau likes lots of tools.

<Vora> "Oh. Ok, this is readable." *looks at Snake's entry for herself... and looks to see if there's one for her, while we're at it.*
<Vora> (( Oh, and if theres any for Sue Ellen, as an afterthought. He's crazy, so you never know. :P ))
<AlcarGM> (( There's none for you yet, but Snake's includes everything from ogan transplants to ideas of cooking him and seeing how he tastes compared to normal snakes ))
* Vora stares, wide-eyed. "Woah."
<AlcarGM> The entry ofr Sue Ellen just has "Remove other arm. Or legs. See what TK compensates for. Can it deal with lost lungs? Head?"

* Vora stuffs a couple of the most important-looking stuff pertaining to SNake's head in the book.

<AlcarGM> Winter: "Washington was blown up ... then .. berlin .. and moscow... and ... london ... they ran out of amunation in .... boston ... " he opens his eyes. "I can't .. fix it."
<Julius> "Already?!"
<Carl`> "..."
<AlcarGM> Winter: "No.. France won world war two with the stealth plane. Where - when - I sent it..."
<Julius> "Why?"
* Carl` 's mouth drops open
<Julius> "Why did you do that?"
<AlcarGM> Winter: "I didn't mean to! It just.. happened... it was going to bomb this place, and I moved it and didn't know... and there's anew timeline and I can't fix it because I did it...."
<Julius> "Let's just break it then."
<Julius> "Hold on ... let me get this straight."
<Julius> "We're in the new timeline?"
<Julius> "And you wanted to bomb the warehouse?"
<AlcarGM> Winter: "They'd die if I did. THey're real now..." he stares at Julius in complete shock. "NO!" then "Filth tried, and I moved the plane, and it made a diffrerent one. Not ... yours."

<Julius> "Why would Filth bomb this warehouse?"
<Julius> "I'm guessing he's just testing the defences, knowing him."

<Tass> I'd rather have omniscience :p
<Baliadoc> psh. what're you gonna do with all the sciences? ;)
<Tass> om nih shense
<Tass> all knowing? :P
<Baliadoc> i'm kidding!
<Tass> no you weren't!
<Baliadoc> i wasn't?
<Tass> see?
<Tass> I know :P
<Baliadoc> i didn't know that. ... does that make you omniscient?!
<Tass> no
<Tass> just a republican

<FSZGM> The Old Elegant Victorian is perched on top of a lonely hill, on 666th place road. Tonight you have been taken by a lawyer to do what is necessary to inherit the house from your... relative(?). The garden out front is overgrown with weeds but they do not touch the house itself. Nothing grows on The House.
<FSZGM> Lawyer McDougal: "Well... This is the place."
* Mary_Kay eyes it and says "Very impressive. An elegant example of Bapist Gothic architecture."

<FSZGM> You walk down the stone staircase, Harold leading. The walls are white... but have strange dark stains all over them.
<FSZGM> It winds down into the depths until before you is an old looking steel door.
* Mary_Kay checks the stains ot see if it was vandals
<FSZGM> No, It doesn't look like vandalism... You notice deep scratches under the sticky marks.
* Mary_Kay shakes her head. "Sad. No one cares about their hygeine anymore..."

<Alcar> :LOL! I just had an image of Sam and Fenrick dueling....
<Alcar> * Sammael slaps Fenrick around a bit with a large trout
<Alcar> * Fenrick slaps Sammael around a bit with a large trout
<Alcar> etc. :p
<Gemm> Fenrick: "What the hell are you doing?" Sam: "Isn't it obvious? We have to duel."
<Alcar> "We need bigger trouts."

<_____> As you talk, you notice some oddities in her fighting style with this weapon
* Sammael studies them for tonite.
<_____> No parries, or defensive postures of any sort, as far as the weapon is involved
<_____> Which is singular, as far as you've ever seen
* Sammael eyes the weapon, curiously, then says "What is that?"
<_____> The weapon doesn't appear to be very threatening, though. It seems like a sword that is missing its blade
<_____> She seems to search for the words for a moment.
<_____> "Anti-matter projector."
<_____> "It is not on."

<_____> She turns to face you, "Yes! Greetings, Prince Sam."
<_____> You notice she is now wearing more ornate robes, and a slender tiara with a large, deep blue jewel set in the center. She seems to be feeling much better, as well.
* Sammael nods to her, looking around a little.
<_____> "Let's go outside. ...come on, Astra." She whistles, and the bird she was talking to hops onto her shoulder. It peers at you quizically
<Dane> (lol, funny image)
* Sammael regards the bird curiously, momentarily wondering if it conceals a grenade, and dismissing it.
<_____> (( LOL ))
<Fenrick> (lol, wtf?)
<Sammael> (( being paranoid has it uses :p Tho it's very hard to find out if they drugged the city water supply.... ))
<Fenrick> (You, not the bird.)

* Sammael thanks for him it and eats the meal, along with water I'm assuming...
<Dane> (water! :D)
<_____> (( water! ))
<_____> (( lots of water! ))
<Fenrick> (Water soup?)
<_____> (( lol Fenrick ))
<Fenrick> (ah well, I'm sure Sam had enough Wine and unleavened bread at Bible Camp. :P)
<Sammael> (( lol. Actually he's never been to one :p ))
<Dane> (( It doesn't count if no one survives night one, hmm? =P))
<Fenrick> (Oh, I'm sure its just one of his surpressed childhood memories.)
<_____> (( they didn't have bible camp when he was a kid :P ))

<Tass> aftermath is my domestic dispute relationship/game
<Tass> I always get the crap kicked out of me
<Tass> but I can't not like it!

<AlcarDM> You approach the temple and see a whole mass of men outside.. hundreds, from the looks of things.
* Theliar`^ walks to the crowd and looks at the temple... and asks one of the guys in back "What's going on?"
<AlcarDM> The prietesses of the goddes are, well, prostituting themselves. For anyone. Very effectively, judging from the crowd.
* Theliar`^ frowns and blinks "Uhm... What the hell?"
* Theliar`^ walks slowly to the front and looks around
<Theliar`^> "What the hell?"
<AlcarDM> You see lots of naked priestesses of your deity. More than you ever wanted to see. And, well, the older ones are a bit scary. And most of them are older here, unloess they're being trained.
<AlcarDM> The Goddess submitting to the God seems to be having effects in this world, too...
<Theliar`^> "Holy fuck!"
<AlcarDM> appropriate....

* Theliar`^ turns and looks at the crowd
<Theliar`^> "Alright boys show's over, my ladies need rest now... Ladies, go inside to the garden and wait for me there." In a rather demanding tone...
<AlcarDM> There is silence from the crowd, then an anonymous voice shouts: "You just want them for yourself, elf!"

<Orgg> "I had hoped that after today's fights I could rely on the weapon--I have no wish and no time to destroy a magic sword."
<AlcarDM> (( And Mt Doom is closed for renovation, about to become Walt DoomyWorld, with Sauron Snake and Mickey nazgul and... ))

<Ania> "Perhaps I can reason with it."
<Ania> (( orgg: Nooooo! not again! ))
<Orgg> "I feel that would not be a good idea."
<Orgg> "I recall too well the last attempt at reasoning with it."
* Ania shakes her head. "God will protect me."
<AlcarDM> Lirk frowns. "why?"
* Orgg sighs, stands, and takes the sword from the bag, handing it to Ania.
* Ania shrugs. "I do not question his will."
* Ania takes the sword, carefully
<AlcarDM> Ania hears a voice in her head, then: "YOUR SOUL IS MINE!"
<AlcarDM> Now what? :p

<Theliar`^> "People think I'm a god Tamil. A GOD! They want to worship ME instead of the Goddess!"
<AlcarDM> Tamil blinks, then stares at you ..... "why?" in a tone of complete confusion that would defalte your divine ego, if you had one.
<Theliar`^> "So now I'll have to smite you for leaving me at the inn without saying goodbye.."
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))
<Theliar`^> "Ha kidding! But yeah.. The goddess made the priestesses start prostituting themselves for some... wierd... deranged... reason... and I healed one of them so she decided she wanted to worship me..."
<Theliar`^> "Come in."
* Theliar`^ walks inside

<Alcar> Lirk: "Daddy!" .. naw....
<Alcar> Were-vamp: "Well, of course i didn't admit to having you for a son. You were an idiot." Lirk: "I'm better now." Were-vamp: "You call having a relationshiup with an orc and elf *better*?"
<aslhk> "AT LEAST I'M NOT A WERE-VAMPIRE! WHAT ABOUT *YOUR* PARENTS!?" *bursts into tears*
<aslhk> =P
<Alcar> lol! Good point :p
<Alcar> "Excuse me! It's not my fault I'm a plot element created by a lunatic Kender! I don't *have* to justify the improbability of my existence!"

<Alcar> :LOL! I just had an image of Sam and Fenrick dueling....
<Alcar> * Sammael slaps Fenrick around a bit with a large trout
<Alcar> * Fenrick slaps Sammael around a bit with a large trout
<Alcar> etc. :p
<Gemm> Fenrick: "What the hell are you doing?" Sam: "Isn't it obvious? We have to duel."
<Alcar> "We need bigger trouts."

<_____> As you talk, you notice some oddities in her fighting style with this weapon
* Sammael studies them for tonite.
<_____> No parries, or defensive postures of any sort, as far as the weapon is involved
<_____> Which is singular, as far as you've ever seen
* Sammael eyes the weapon, curiously, then says "What is that?"
<_____> The weapon doesn't appear to be very threatening, though. It seems like a sword that is missing its blade
<_____> She seems to search for the words for a moment.
<_____> "Anti-matter projector."
<_____> "It is not on."

<_____> She turns to face you, "Yes! Greetings, Prince Sam."
<_____> You notice she is now wearing more ornate robes, and a slender tiara with a large, deep blue jewel set in the center. She seems to be feeling much better, as well.
* Sammael nods to her, looking around a little.
<_____> "Let's go outside. ...come on, Astra." She whistles, and the bird she was talking to hops onto her shoulder. It peers at you quizically
<Dane> (lol, funny image)
* Sammael regards the bird curiously, momentarily wondering if it conceals a grenade, and dismissing it.
<_____> (( LOL ))
<Fenrick> (lol, wtf?)
<Sammael> (( being paranoid has it uses :p Tho it's very hard to find out if they drugged the city water supply.... ))
<Fenrick> (You, not the bird.)

* Sammael thanks for him it and eats the meal, along with water I'm assuming...
<Dane> (water! :D)
<_____> (( water! ))
<_____> (( lots of water! ))
<Fenrick> (Water soup?)
<_____> (( lol Fenrick ))
<Fenrick> (ah well, I'm sure Sam had enough Wine and unleavened bread at Bible Camp. :P)
<Sammael> (( lol. Actually he's never been to one :p ))
<Dane> (( It doesn't count if no one survives night one, hmm? =P))
<Fenrick> (Oh, I'm sure its just one of his surpressed childhood memories.)
<_____> (( they didn't have bible camp when he was a kid :P ))

<Tass> aftermath is my domestic dispute relationship/game
<Tass> I always get the crap kicked out of me
<Tass> but I can't not like it!

<AlcarDM> You approach the temple and see a whole mass of men outside.. hundreds, from the looks of things.
* Theliar`^ walks to the crowd and looks at the temple... and asks one of the guys in back "What's going on?"
<AlcarDM> The prietesses of the goddes are, well, prostituting themselves. For anyone. Very effectively, judging from the crowd.
* Theliar`^ frowns and blinks "Uhm... What the hell?"
* Theliar`^ walks slowly to the front and looks around
<Theliar`^> "What the hell?"
<AlcarDM> You see lots of naked priestesses of your deity. More than you ever wanted to see. And, well, the older ones are a bit scary. And most of them are older here, unloess they're being trained.
<AlcarDM> The Goddess submitting to the God seems to be having effects in this world, too...
<Theliar`^> "Holy fuck!"
<AlcarDM> appropriate....

* Theliar`^ turns and looks at the crowd
<Theliar`^> "Alright boys show's over, my ladies need rest now... Ladies, go inside to the garden and wait for me there." In a rather demanding tone...
<AlcarDM> There is silence from the crowd, then an anonymous voice shouts: "You just want them for yourself, elf!"

<Orgg> "I had hoped that after today's fights I could rely on the weapon--I have no wish and no time to destroy a magic sword."
<AlcarDM> (( And Mt Doom is closed for renovation, about to become Walt DoomyWorld, with Sauron Snake and Mickey nazgul and... ))

<Ania> "Perhaps I can reason with it."
<Ania> (( orgg: Nooooo! not again! ))
<Orgg> "I feel that would not be a good idea."
<Orgg> "I recall too well the last attempt at reasoning with it."
* Ania shakes her head. "God will protect me."
<AlcarDM> Lirk frowns. "why?"
* Orgg sighs, stands, and takes the sword from the bag, handing it to Ania.
* Ania shrugs. "I do not question his will."
* Ania takes the sword, carefully
<AlcarDM> Ania hears a voice in her head, then: "YOUR SOUL IS MINE!"
<AlcarDM> Now what? :p

<Theliar`^> "People think I'm a god Tamil. A GOD! They want to worship ME instead of the Goddess!"
<AlcarDM> Tamil blinks, then stares at you ..... "why?" in a tone of complete confusion that would defalte your divine ego, if you had one.
<Theliar`^> "So now I'll have to smite you for leaving me at the inn without saying goodbye.."
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))
<Theliar`^> "Ha kidding! But yeah.. The goddess made the priestesses start prostituting themselves for some... wierd... deranged... reason... and I healed one of them so she decided she wanted to worship me..."
<Theliar`^> "Come in."
* Theliar`^ walks inside

<Alcar> Lirk: "Daddy!" .. naw....
<Alcar> Were-vamp: "Well, of course i didn't admit to having you for a son. You were an idiot." Lirk: "I'm better now." Were-vamp: "You call having a relationshiup with an orc and elf *better*?"
<aslhk> "AT LEAST I'M NOT A WERE-VAMPIRE! WHAT ABOUT *YOUR* PARENTS!?" *bursts into tears*
<aslhk> =P
<Alcar> lol! Good point :p
<Alcar> "Excuse me! It's not my fault I'm a plot element created by a lunatic Kender! I don't *have* to justify the improbability of my existence!"

<AlcarGM> Carl is currently communing with the dead, or veging out, or something magical.
<Julius> (( I do believe I last was enterring the house to see mosaic ))
<AlcarGM> And then he tried to kill people, and left, and Winter explained that France won world war 2 :p
<Julius> (( Ah, right! ))
<Julius> (( I tried to forget that. :P ))

* Mosaic``` tosses the death star into the sea, and works on stopping the madness!
* Mosaic``` is killing indescriminantly, taking out any warring factions in totality, until they all stop fighting :)
<Mosaic```> ((... i wonder if this is what playing Void felt like.))
<AlcarGM> (( LOL ))

<AlcarGM> After 15 mimnute sof walking you come to the Source of it, a half-ruined church in the south end of the Burg, which looks to be empty.
<AlcarGM> The front half of the church is standing and you can make something up on the roof.
* Carl` stops briefly at the door, wipes his feet and is about to knock on the door, but he notices other things and looks up instead!
<AlcarGM> Something on the roiof shifts and falls with a scream, a man in a red outfit hitting thre ground beside you with a thumo, like a bag of soup striking the ground. DD has time ot whisper "wrong church?" and dies.
<AlcarGM> The angel is perched on top of the cross, apparently just looking around.

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