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<Alcar> Seems to be thinking. "Oh, and can you answer me a riddle?" Quotes: ""Now think long and hard of times that would best be forgotten and there in you will know the answer you seek""
<`Reeve``> "Um... i've never been good with riddles"
* Galhalee mumbles in his sleep, "Thats not a riddle"
<Galhalee> "Thats a history teacher trying to keep people interested in class"

<Galhalee> ((just my luck to run into the magic hating priests while I'm asleep))

<VVarner> I like to think its Gals experance of 200 years in relms ruled by DM's that makes him so completely parinoid :)

<Alcar> nanoc doesn't kill anyone. He looks better after his chat with K
* `Drake`` knows that's just what that bloodthirsty killer want me to think, so i keep my eye on him some more ;)
<`^joy^`> (nanoc a killer???)

<Luth> what the fuck is an alaghi pitfighter?
<Baliadoc> they're just yeti with the pitfighter kit
<Baliadoc> nothin' big

* Eman_The_Something is focused on his objective. but none of these damn tables are numbered!

<Luth> The barkeep looks at Eman "You want table six?"
<Eman_The_Something> "YES?" he says hopefully
<Luth> the bartender takes table six and breaks it in two
* Eman_The_Something takes a chair and sits where table six used to be feeling rather silly
* Eman_The_Something thinks .oO(God I hope they don't show up soon. I'm gona need time to think of an explination for this table being missing)
* Eman_The_Something continues sitting at table 6's former location wondering when the rest will show up
* Eman_The_Something thinks .oO(crap hope I wasn't late)

<Ryu`--> "grate vampire and nigel dust in him now.... might have to put holy-water in his nose to clean it out... that will get his head stratend out"

<Baliadoc> "Alright Jer, no more experimenting for today. We need to keep you from being eaten by the census people, remember?"

<Silva_Atalanta> (pro life undead, now I'm roleplayed every thing :)

<Alcar> undead girl: "I'm Lillith. Why aren't you rotting?"
<^Pana^^> <Athena> "Because I put perfume all over myself^^"
<Alcar> Lillith; "Whats perfume?"
* ^Pana^^ <Athena> pulls out a vial of holy water to show it to Lillith

<Alcar> Jer's bird sails through the air for a bit before smacking itself in a wall
* Jeramias does a little postgame dance. "Woo! It only took the life of two birds and an amputation of my hand to get that to work right!"
<Jeramias> Next stop - Large machine to hold all of us.

<Baliadoc> i'm just dead. i tried to sleep last night and failed my proficiency check
<Baliadoc> especially when the bed rolled a 20 on it's save vs. being fluffy and comfy

<`Sanchez``> (my god i love sparkie!)

<MudWind> "I don't die easilly?"
<`Sanchez``> "I kinda figured as much. But wouldn't you be aiming at me if i just killed you anyway?"
* `Sanchez`` sighs... if the guy with the bow is the real Jer, then Bali would be able to tell me it was the real Jer, based on his shooting ability with a bow

<VVarner> so what the heck is a health level?
* Kynan thinks it was a misprint and meant 2 hp
<Gnomish> (sucks the HP of a level but not the skills gained by a level)
<VVarner> kynan you just lost your medical coverage for dental and medication. another hit and you could end up with a $100 co pay :P

<VVarner> the little vampire dies a horable death but his head has a last spite full word for Kynan. withs mouth moves and Baliadoc says:
<Baliadoc> "I sold your shares of Microsoft, bitch! Ha!"

<VVarner> near the stairs is a fountain where hot and cold springs seem to meet. there is a nice looking steam coming off it. looks very comfy.
<VVarner> if you didn't know better you'd swear the DM placed this here so you'd camp for the night so he could go to sleep :0
* Kynan attacks it
<Gnomish> (LOL ok ok i'll burn it down)

<Luth> Mile yells "Who's a good bowman that's the only bow we have!"
<Rional-keef> "you expect to kill 1000 with 1 bow!!!!!?"

<LuthDM> "watch you're tounge don't make quick judgements
<Lucky`> '600 dead people made mine for me."
<Lucky`> "Did you ever try and speak to them, find out what the wanted?"
<LuthDM> how about 20000 dead of ours?"
<LuthDM> I think that was just the last year
<Lucky`> "Then you breed like rabbits?"
<LuthDM> that's over the years dimwit
<Lucky`> <LuthDM> I think that was just the last year is what you said :)
<LuthDM> oops
<LuthDM> I did

<`Drake``> "Your majesty, don't take this out on all of us! This's his bloody fault" *points to Varin*
<`Varin`> "I havn't the foggiest as to what you're talking about"
* `Drake`` sighs
<`Drake``> "Everyone wants to be a hero till they have to take fault for it"

<Alcar> The kings robes catch fire with a loud woosh!
* `Drake`` turns back to Varin
<`Drake``> "What the hell is that!? What is it with you and fire, you bloody fool!?"
<Alcar> The fire around the king literally erupts as the holy symbol is revealed
<`Varin`> "I saw your robes burst into flame before my very eyes!
<Alcar> The king is screaming words from within the inferno, the fire is fading . .
<`Varin`> "Your majesty, do things like this often happen to you?"

<`Varin`> "What the hell happened to the king in there!"
<`Drake``> "Well, once he was lit on fire, he flipped out."
<`Varin`> "I know THAT"
<`Varin`> "I mean what the hell happened to make him catch on fire!
<`Drake``> "Well... it is the dry season"
<`Varin`> "Does he catch on fire frequently?"

* K`-- is a chrispy K burnt from head to toe
<^`joy`^> never do that on me plz just telling you
<Praesul> ((ewww...thats gonna leave a scar))
* `Drake`` thinks that with just the right seasoning he could market this "Crispy K" but decides there's more important things going on right now

<zorriss> (eman your mocked awake by what your not sure)
<Eman_The_Somthing> "Eh? wha? Who dares Mock eman the somthing?" :)
<zorriss> (err nock GETUP!:))

<zorriss> *a well indowed human-bunny hopps over
<zorriss> *she soon comes back with a plate of food
* Eman_The_Somthing stares at the bunny wondering if he's fallen down a rabit hole himself
* Skelly wants an easter egg
<zorriss> (shes got two BIG one's:P)

* Eman_The_Somthing sits back contented and wonders why a rabit is hitting on him

<zorriss> *the bunny sighs going off to wait on some other table but doesnt give up intil they leave:)
* Skelly walks over and asks her, politely, which paw she wouldn't mind losing
<zorriss> *giggles at skelly
* Skelly is serious
<Skelly> "I would like a lucky rabbits foot, and you look like you wish to gt lucky with my companion over there. Pick a paw."
<zorriss> (do you realy want to be serus?)
<zorriss> *you find yourself in pieces at the door after a huge kick from the bunny

<Eman_The_Somthing> ((Can't belive you had a giant food serving rabit come on to me))

<zorriss> (eman zorriss just crumble skellys bones what you do?)
<Eman_The_Somthing> I report zorriss to the society for the prevention of cruelty to undead

<Kalar> well, what I do next ought to freak mop out
<Kalar> * Kalar goes up, looks at herself in the mirror, begins to smile coldly and makes sure the daggers sharp
<Kalar> <Kalar> She plans to carve her face, making it MUCH less beautiful and looking like a warrior woman with old tattoo symbols she saw once . .it will defintely make her look light a fighter again, and not a sex object
<Eman_The_Somthing> shit, I thought you were just going to shave your legs :)

<Eman_The_Somthing> the four horsmen of the apocolapse are upon us. They are known as Telitubies :)

<Kalar> 'This IS hell!"
<mopdez> you hear a vioce"i did not have to give you this chance"
<mopdez> you hear a vioce"you want to see a hell?"
<Kalar> 'I would rather be undead again than . .than this stupid, weak, inferior body!"
<mopdez> you see a site no mortal should see
<Kalar> Barney?

* Eman_The_Somthing climbs up and forgetting to reset the hand break says "Giddy up!"
<Eman_The_Somthing> "Um ONWORD!"
<Eman_The_Somthing> "Wagons Ho!"
<Eman_The_Somthing> meakly 'mush?'

<Eman_The_Somthing> what is a can check? something about going to the bathroom?

* PurpleShade takes the sleeping \\`arner and throws him off a 20 story building, yelling "Free your mind" at him as he falls
* Alcar reports PurpleShade for Away-Nick Abuse :)
* PurpleShade then takes him and drops him down an empty elevator shaft, yelling "There is no spoon"
* Keith` just leaves PurpleShade for the agents to brake
* PurpleShade is secretly an agent
* PurpleShade 's clothes suddenly morph into a suit and a pair of sunglasses
*** PurpleShade was kicked by Keith` (Doge this)

* Gelhalee clacks back to krtrk, "And you, stop refering to me as somthing on the menu before I look up my recipy for chocolete diped thri-kreen and frog legs"
* Krtrk would blink if he had eyelids
<Krtrk> "What is name, elf-snack?"
* Gelhalee clacks "My name is Sir Gelhalee, Master magic shop keep and founding member of the magic shop guild. And I know a gormee chief who would love to add you to a certain potato soup" :P

<Gelhalee> In orc, "And so shall you all die if you do not leave hear at once!"
<Alcar> the orc charing Gel loks around, says "Mommy!" and runs off the road, towards anywhere else
<Gelhalee> (Ha I scared him off with my lousy spelling :)
<Krtrk> (he was the spell-check orc)
* Gelhalee wonders if Orc tastes like pork :)
* Krtrk samples a leg-o-orc

* Zacten walks up the hill, feeling at peace with himself for once
<K`--> (and it only took killing 301 inosent people)

<Zacten> well, I was thinking that maybe it took the kings soul inside, but not mine... hehe
<Alcar> both :)
<Zacten> well, scratch the idea of cutting up the blade into easy to cary cool looking light stones...
<Zacten> hmm, maybe that is why it doesn't work for me anymore, I'll have to let drake try it out now :)

<Silva_Atalanta> ((some people say you shouldn't run from your problems. But what if your problem is you threw the pin and droped the granade?))
<Ryu`--> (i just throw them both saves hassle and risk)

<Jeramias> I could pull a Jeramias and end one game, only to start another one of the same campaign 5 minutes later. I would be pulling an Alcar if I were to insinuate that the player had killed something very important, only to tell the truth 20 minutes later'

<Jeramias> "Run, princess! I cannot save you! This chair is holding me and a penguin is biting my leg!"

* Gelhalee is making a note to research some crowd control spells
<ringo-horse> (fireball.....:))
<Gelhalee> (Oh yeah that worked so well before :P)
* Sannin is makeing a note to reserch a enrage horde of pesants spell just for the fun of it

<Snake`---> "it is a long story but we can't kill any one in this city"
<Gelhalee> ((Good thing all we did was roast a few of em with a fire ball :)
<Gelhalee> (No spilt blood)

<Eman_The_Something> ((your trying to give the idea of being picked up in a bar a whole new meaning))

<Jennifer`Lynn`Seaholm> maybe I should not hang around here... I might end up like you guys... no effense...
<Kylii> what, sleep deprived raving lunatics?'

<Jeramias> DMSG - Dungeon Master Style Gaming - Screw memorizing all of those rules, just avoid complicated things like combat, treasure, and role playing

* Sintaqx is apparently trying self-kemotherepy... he has 2 17" monitors and a laptop screen all pointed at him.......

<Ryu`---> "kender down forget or leave friends!"
<Ryu`---> "well.. not often any way"
<Jeramias> "Not often, but not never. When he tries to kill you, then you may forget."

<Silva_Atalanta> ((why do I feel like a mouse told to bell a cat?))

<Eman_The_Something> ((for the 2nd time what the hell is a SS check? Nazi's looking for jews?))

Sintaqx> I'm taking a poll... what is your favorite class or subclass to play in AD&D
<Warner> Wild Mage Lich Kender with psionics ;)
<Sintaqx> wild magi kender live long enough to become liches?
<Sintaqx> that would be an interesting experiment... how long can a wild mage kender w/ psionics live?
<Warner> of all the things wrong with that idea your DM could object to "You really lived that long?" didn't occur to me :)
<Sintaqx> it'd be fun to see in how unique a manner the thing would croak

<Marcus_Fenway> Japeth why don't you Write up a Formal Complaint and Send it to the Customer Support Division at I-Dont@Give-A.Shit
<Japeth> now that's uncalled for... i'm a player in this game, and we're here to have fun and I usually do
<Marcus_Fenway> I have 3 Options here: 1) Give in to Japeth's Demands. 2) Be a DM and Tellt he player he is Wrong. or 3) Get really Annoyed and Quit DM'ng online . . .
<Japeth> but it was just a dick move by a certain GM to throw a plot-hook out and mentally masturbate a solution so i get no gold

<Jeramias> ok, Avern, your watch passes uneventfully
* Avern wakes Jer for his then
<Jeramias> Jer, your watch passes uneventfully

<Laura---> "Those who live by the sword die by those of us who use slings"

<Chaos`^> "Are you a lawer or something? I think I know what I am doing.."
<Laura---> "No, I've just been arrested a fair amount."

<IkeDM> You miss, as you knew you would.
<Eman_The_Squire> (Thank you Mr confidence builder)

<WarnerDM> "Thats Gels department. All I know is its called basapowder"
<Gnomish> "oh man you have to be kidding me!"
<WarnerDM> ((here we go with the adlibing again :))
<Gnomish> ((hay it sounded cool and would make for an ok quest))
<Gnomish> ((have to travel to the dwarven home land then do something for the guy who has it))
<WarnerDM> ((Hehe your not the only one who can adlib. I say Dwarven stench powder is known only to gully dwarfs :))

<WarnerDM> "Well if so it had better be an impressive quanity. At least a handfull"
* WarnerDM looks genuinly impressed with your confidence that you'll beable to get as much as a handfull

* Gelhalee pops a horsehound candy in Elrich's mouth and wispers to him "Shut up or I'll turn your genitals into a cactus"

* Gelhalee looks at Elrich darky and asks him in all serousness, "Do you need a time out?"

* Gelhalee shoves some of whats left of his candy in Elrich's mouth and backs him away from the woman looking like he's ready to start removing bits of his anatomy
* Elrich again spits out the horrible candy. "Stop doing that!"
<Gelhalee> "Stop trying to get us all killed then"

<Gelhalee> "I have this potato soup recipe that is just to die for"
<Snake`--> "..."
<Kyrii> "Bad choice of words."

<Billanallianolas> I specifically waited about 10 minutes game time before I tried for the testicles

* Rashurian finds delario at the city gate and we decide to travel on to our destiny, after resting for a while, having done what we came to do
* Gelhalee grumbles to him self, "When are people gona learn not to make big descisions on empty stomacs"
<Rashurian> ((oh.. we first go back and eat some soup))
<Gelhalee> ((LOL))
<Gelhalee> ((Who wants to travel on to their destiny when the soup is on :))

<Billanallianolas> "I can never take from him as much as he took from me"
* Billanallianolas weeps into Kyrii's shoulders
<Kyrii> "nope, you killed him already. can't do much more now."

<Alcar> Shadron looks at Snake apraisingly "You're still human, in the ways that matter . ."
<`Reeve``> "In other words, he can still perform in bed without it counting as a miracle?"

<Warner> Gel and Yoda in the same room is kinda scary
<Alcar> Yoda tosses Gel out for constantly correcting his grammer :)
<Warner> "I sence great fear in you" "Of course you sence great fear in me! Thats a tarrasque you stupid sawed off troll!"

* ^`joy`^ goes back to cabin and starts cooking using one of the recipes that sound good
<K`--> (ahhh the joy is cooking (pun intended))

* Drago` goes back to town to get drunk
<The_MageDM> how? tell me which way to go at each crossing
<Drago`> ...
<Drago`> n/m then GM

* Merrick_The_Mad looks at his stats and wonders why he ever left the farm

<AlcarDM> The two of you appear on a hillside, with a few trees around with odd ropes above them, like special spider webs of some kind. The sky to the west is glowing as if mundreds of torches were bruning with magical light spells and you here an ever-present droning noise in that direction
<Jeramias> "Oh shit!A lynching group!"
* `Sanchez`` looks around, and up at the weird web
<AlcarDM> the web seems to stand on posts of trees in the ground, folloinng a mostly straight line east-west about 20' above your heads
<`Sanchez``> "Weird place... I've never seen trees so bare"

<AlcarDM> you here a odd screach from the west, as if someone had decided to smash their talkling magical sword to pieces on an anvil, followed by a lorder noise like the mooing of a diseased cow followed by shouts of "Watch were you're going, you idiot! Drive in your lane, thats what the yellow is for!"
<Jeramias> "What in the hell?"
<`Sanchez``> "Sounds like someone's in trouble! I'm gonna go check it out... you comin' Jer, or what?"
<AlcarDM> the mooing noise is repeated, followed by anotther unnatural screech and a strange roaring begins, that fades into the distance . . someone might have summoned a demon and let it loose
* `Sanchez`` remembers being in a bar where a woman sang almost this bad...

<AlcarDM> "That idiot doesn't know an automobile from a cell phone! I see the lights of a UFO and that drunk lard bucket claims I hit him. Wait until I sick dad's lawyer on him."
* `Sanchez`` blinks
<`Sanchez``> "Maybe you're right... sounds like something's possessed that guy..."
<Jeramias> "Automobile?Some kind of demon with a cell phone familiar?"

<AlcarDM> David looks at Jeramias oddly, those mirrors on his eyes glinting strangely "Was that a joke? Warm, but not french? Whats the punchline?"
<Jeramias> "I suppose that I misinterpreted the meaning of the word 'french'."
<AlcarDM> David: "Oh. Uhm . . . what state are you in?"
<Jeramias> "Denile."
<AlcarDM> He laughs, hesitantly. "Err, what country?"
<Jeramias> "Uh, last I checked it was Britania.I was just about to ask you where we were."
<AlcarDM> David blinks "Britian?! Does this look like britian to you?"
<AlcarDM> "Get lost hiking and end up in North America?"
<Jeramias> "No, it doesn't.North America?Where is that?Oh, shit... Nevermind. I was joking"

* Jeramias walks over to the large beast wearing metal armor catiuosly trying not to spook it.
<AlcarDM> the beast is still making those beeping sounds but looks liek it broke a foot or something since its nto mving
* Jeramias touches it, and tries to look under the armor (tries to open the hood :) )
<AlcarDM> jer - the creature lets out an unnatural bleeting, as if guving birth :)

<AlcarDM> "Mickal? ,.you awake in there . ?"
<`Mickal`> "ya dav i just drifted off thats all"
<Jeramias> "Is there someone alive that this beast has swalloed?!?"
<Jeramias> "I'll save thee!"
* Jeramias draws his sword
<Jeramias> "Get back, if you can sir!I shall try to save thee!"
* Jeramias goes into the horid beasts side
* Jeramias tries to get out of the beast, but is caught by a long gray intestine of sort, attached to the seat like organs."
* Jeramias cuts the seat belt and scuries out of the car, freaking out

<`Sanchez``> "You feelin' alright, friend? You seem a little wild"
<AlcarDM> David: "I seem ... uh, right. So you don't want me to know . .can't you do the MIB thiink and zap my memory?"
<`Sanchez``> "Mib thing? You really aren't feeling well, are you? The only thing i could do is shoot you, but i don't think that would help"
<AlcarDM> 'Shoot . . . wait, oh! That explains everything . . you're with the NRA! From Texaas, aren't you? Likely one of those cluts who doesn't know how to make fires yet ., ."
* `Sanchez`` looks fairly angry at that
<`Sanchez``> "Yeah, I am from Texas, punk, and I am with the NRA!" *pulls out his gun and points it in the guys face* "Now, tell me again i can't light a fire, bucko"

<AlcarDM> There is a loud call in the ditance, "woo wooo woo" like some obscure dragon mating ritual . .coming closer . . Curiosuly, David looks happy to hear the noise
<Jeramias> "Oh god!Run!Dragons!"
* `Sanchez`` takes off after Jer, looking at the other guy
<Talamanthalon> "Damnable things are even on the wold of North America."
<AlcarDM> David: "Dragon? What the hell kind of slang is that for police officers?"

<AlcarDM> Voice "The kid looked really freaked out . .I dunno . .the asylums a long way from here . ..what kind of nut would be running around with a sword or musket?"
<Cop1> "Maybe there geeks that play Dungeons and dragons like in the 80's ya know they killed afew people with swords then."
<Jeramias> (( "Yeah, but its been 10 years since I've done that."))

<`Sanchez``> "Then... uh... push... away" *staring at the gun with little kid wonder*
<`Sanchez``> "By the Gods! Look at those guns! They're incredible!!"
<Talamanthalon> "If you have been helping Jer, then it is a pleasure to meet you."
<`Sanchez``> "Yeah, yeah..." *continues staring*

<Sparkie> `Sanchez`` 1d20: 20 - called shot to... rotor!? wtf!? :)
<`Sanchez``> YES!!!
<`Sanchez``> 1d10 - Helo in the hole!
<Sparkie> `Sanchez`` 1d10: 10 - Helo in the hole!
<`Sanchez``> 1d10 - extra damage!
<Sparkie> `Sanchez`` 1d10: 9 - extra damage!
<`Sanchez``> 38 damage to the rotor, baby! unless that counts as the head, then that's 76 :)
<AlcarDM> the dragon plummets out of ther sky with a wailing moise, dark black fumes billowing forth as it screas Mayday!
<AlcarDM> A magical word that seems do to nothing . .The dragon strikes the treees and explodes in an enormous fireball
<Cop1> "Holy mother of god they shot them down!"

<Keith`> (this is one of thosegames in which i wish it where alright to play a paladin out side of the lawfull catigory)

* Jeramias draws his sword and takes aim for as many rounds as he needs to to get a gaurenteed hit
<`Sanchez``> (why are you aiming with a sword? why not a bow?)
<Jeramias> (( :P I don't want to miss him from 3 ft with a bow))

<Talamantholan> (no knee, blown up face, man he's a mess,, sharpnel cushion)
<Cop1> (if theres no hight level healing magic your going to lose a leg)
<`Sanchez``> uh... we're on earth?
<`Sanchez``> there are things know as doctors?
<`Sanchez``> and we have GOLD?
<Jeramias> oh yes...gold: yellow oil ;)

<`Sanchez``> (i am sooo dead)
<Jeramias> ((yeah, so is alcar if he lets you die :) ))

<Lansead> "DON'T WORRY I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THE.. UMM dragon??"
<AlcarDM> ( Lansead is outside the bus :))
<Lansead> "no this has to be a slor"
<AlcarDM> Driver: "What in god's green earth . . . some nut in. .armour?!
* Lansead pulls his gunblade and takes a hack at the eyes (windows)
* Lansead goes around and slizes the slors legs (tires)

* Lansead notices the door open and runs up tossing him self in it and yelling to ever one inside
<AlcarDM> They people, oddly eough, run to theback away from Lansead :)
<Lansead> "DAMN IT I TOLD YOU THIS IS A SLOR! Didn't they teach you any thing when you where little"
<AlcarDM> The people on the bus, sickeningly enough, exit through the rear of the creature instead of following Lansead
* Lansead shrugs and goes out the things mouth proude to have done his job well

<AlcarDM> lol. The combination of push + bus driver = a starting car :)
<Lansead> "ITS AWAKE!"
<Lansead> "you sure you can control the baby slor there my friend?"
<AlcarDM> Bus Driver: "YES! Get in, mr person with gold! Please come in!"
<Lansead> "i could kill it as i did the other"
<AlcarDM> Bus Driver "Please, please don't uh, kill it. It's tamed . "

<Donutcop> "I said get down on the ground!"
<Jeramias> "Damn! Can't you see that this man has been shot?!"
* Lansead shoots the cop
<Lansead> "damn theives"
<`Sanchez``> "Just shut up and let me get to the damn wagon!!"

*** Abysslord is now known as `Jerry_Springer`
<Lansead> (oh my god)
<`Sanchez``> ((oh dear god... not jerry... i need to go to bed sometime soon...))
<Lansead> (luniticks from the 5th senctory strike tarror in manhaten)
<`Jerry_Springer`> "Hi i'm Jerry Springer and i'm talking to two teens that where the 1st to meet up with the 3 cop killers in maine"
* `Jerry_Springer` looks to dav
<`Jerry_Springer`> "So tell me how does it feel to know you where close to death but yet you dialed 911 and saved both your lives and that of the officers and townsfolk of the city"
<AlcarDM> David "I'm just glad I did my duty to america, and to keep it free from those evil MIddle Eastern Extremists."

<`ClarK> what is better high or low?
<Joan_Of_Arc> clark, try what, to tackle or cut off his hands?
<`ClarK> both

<Eman_The_Something> ((I am a 64th level demigod with power of attorney over micro soft))
<Ike> ((Shouldn't your name be Bill Gates, then?))
<Eman_The_Something> ((Bill Gates has already sold his soul to me.I am the real power :))

<Ike> ((Levels?))
<Joan_Of_Arc> 1
<Ike> ((Creation method?))
<Joan_Of_Arc> ((The Anarchy method))

<Tolk> "They hurt trees to make that shack!!!"
* Tolk looks horrified
<Joan_Of_Arc> Smaug:Those bastards!
<Joan_Of_Arc> The dragon runs forward and starts blasting
<Joan_Of_Arc> Fire goes everywhere
* Eman_The_Something takes her to the shack quickly before the shack becomes the focus of some left wing conservationist movment

* Eman_The_Something invokes the name of the clerics goddess of luck and the 13 kobalds suffer from bizar and silly acidents :)

<Dervin> "Unless you'd like to have yourself served medium rare, I suggest you let him have what he wants"

<Brent_> "don't worry about them, they're all mad. We have a gold-eating-dragon, a talking horse, a fool sitting there, staring at a flower and a dwarf who smashes trees"
<Tolk> "And me. But I'm normal."
<Brent_> ((lol))
* Tolk gets ready to be struck by lightning :)
<Brent_> ((actually you were the dwarf who smashed trees))

* Eman_The_Something storms off grumbling about how watching to many scrying pools has shortened his attention span

<Krendell> Chaos do I exist yet?
<Wolfie``> existential ad&d?
<Krendell> hehe, don't get theoreticallyistic with me!!!
<Wolfie``> If the DM doesn't let me in the game, does my character really exist or not? :)
<Krendell> yea yea, and if a dragon burns my ass in the woods while no one sees it, am I still all gooey and dead?
<Wolfie``> hehehe . .depends if theres a cleric to ressurect you or not

<Chaos`^> Judge: "I have desided that you all shall join our dwindling army."
<Mystra-> "before going, i have a question: why do you give order to other, you like to be in power? are you sexualy frustrated or what?
* Slink_Lightfoot gapes
* `Laura` is shocked
<Mystra-> "stop acting great, your just a puny little person like everyone, your not my master, and i won't do anything i don't want"
<Chaos`^> Judge: "You're right, YOU will be exicuted, the rest will join the army."

* TimBear is a very cute looking brown bear, with big brown eyes (i love how easy this description is!) ... he is currently humming a little tune

<_-Dirk__> "everything is free if you steal it ;)"

* Timbear` is walking through the ship looking for Gel
* Timbear` asks the odd person every now and then if they've seen him
<Timbear`> ((why do i feel like Chewbacca walking through Mos Eisley or something?))

<Keith`> Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative!

<Londer_the_Loon> ((it'd be cool if someone wished my chicken to be able to talk... he'd be smarter than londer ;) ))

* Gelhalee lets the rain clean his plates giving the PC's a break on their washing dutys just this once

<Snake`----> "how about this you stay close to me and if some one hits you you tell me ok?"
* Londer_the_Loon looks like a puppy who has just been told it's bad to pee on the floor of the livingroom

<Londer_the_Loon> ((drat, i had just written: /me wakes up drenched and freezing with an even colder peck sitting loyally on his shoulder))

<Tymora> "So it is your duty to bring a lasting pease to the island"
* Eman_The_Something turns at looks at Tymora, "It is?"
<Eman_The_Something> "My mom might not like that. She gets mighty sore when I do jobs I don't get paid for"
<Eman_The_Something> "Look I know your a God an all but really I promised my mom I wouldn't do this anymore"
<Eman_The_Something> "She wont let me do anymore free jobs"

* Eman_The_Something trys to get the person back to shore when sudenly he realizes he dosn't know how to swim
<Joan_Of_Arc> Eman, you manage to pull the man and the driftwood in, and not drown.
<Eman_The_Something> ((Its amazing what you can do when the DM dosn't care that you can't do it :)

<Talso> ((food and killing signs...sounds like a quest paladins go on))

* Gelhalee muters something to him self, "Stupidity should never be fought when it can more easily be manipulated"

<Balko> He has just gotten to the climax. the part where the nobel dragon slays the evil knight when you walk in.
<Balko> "Oh, sorry children. Dutty calls. Same time tomarrow and I'll tell you about the evil pricess who lived off a wich with out paying rent and snuck out by climbing down her hair

<`Drake``> "I'm looking for contract 1412. I'm putting a unicorn horn up for sale. Plus, i'd like a comment card"
<`Drake``> "If you have them. This seems like the type of place that would"
* Balko looks up in horror, "A comment card?"
<`Drake``> "Aye. That's what i said, mate"
<`Drake``> "If you don't have them, fine."
<Balko> "Look Mr please their just kids. You don't have to get me fired. Look I'll cut you a deal"
<`Drake``> "It's about your boss, mate"

* Balko hands back the contract
* `Drake`` takes it, looking it over
<`Drake``> "One more thing: the comment card?"
<Balko> "Oh no. Kip just makes sure the thing isn't going to blow up the shop"
* Balko looks horified, "Um I thought you wern't going to get me fired?"
* Drake`` simply stares at the man
<`Drake``> "If that is what happens, I have more contempt for your boss then I already do"
Balko hands over the comment card and starts clearing out his desk

`Drake`` takes the card and begins writing. (just a moment :))
<`Drake``> "Ahem.... 'The proprietor of this shop, one Sir Gelhalee, presented himself in a most unbusiness-like manner. Where I come from, I was taught to treat every customer like royalty. I do not simply bounce from one to the other, no matter how long one has been waiting.
<`Drake``> I make sure the first customer is set and happy before moving onto the next. If i truly must, i make an appointment with the first, but only if i'm sure i cannot finish business with him. Sir Gelhalee did not make me feel like royalty today, and that is what i wish to complain about.
<`Drake``> I'm sure my business with him will be satifactory, but i would like to sternly admonish Sir Gelhalee, in the hopes that he learns from his mistakes and is kinder towards each
* Balko marvels at how much you can get on a 3x5 card
<Balko> "You should consider working as scribe"
<Balko> "People would save so much on the cost of paper"
<`Drake``> "We pirates are famous for small print. How do you think we really cheat and steal?"

* Cossen lays hands on himself
<Cossen> (dont take that the wrong way)

<Sintaqx> thank you, thank you. for my next trick I'll make Sintaqx disappear!
<Sintaqx> wait! that's me! who wrote this script!

<WarnerDM> your eyes meet across a crowded bar. you knew at once it was love. except the bar isn't really crowded this time of day and it isn't really love. just a odd fealing that if you two don't end up together the DM might start dropping heavy objects on you :)

* Sannin wants a pet fire elemantal.....hmm i wonder if sparkies up to the job
* Gelhalee gives Sannin a pet rock
<Gelhalee> at a high velosoty :P

<Gelhalee> ((Why fight stupidity when you can manipulate it? :)

<Londer> ((i need to sharpen my sword, but don't know it, what do i do?))

<Gelhalee> "Figures, when ever you take some thing for nothing some smart ass god dicideds its time for some poetic justice. Problem is few gods make very good poets"

<Gelhalee> most spells work to let you understand the chicken. not to turn the chicken into a public speaker

<`Drake``> "Alright Talso, what's the deal with all the lights?"
<Talso> "You don't want to know"
<`Drake``> "Hold on..." *looks up in the air* "Oh! I just talked with myself. It's seems i DO want to know"

* `Drake`` nods appreciatively... tells Jack about the time he swung across to an enemy ship, cut down thirteen men, including the captain, threw them overboard, and sank the ship while it was on fire, standing on his own ship and listening to the screams of dying men, simply to retrieve an old pocket watch that belonged to his best friend from 70 years back

<Alcar> "Let me see your id first . . and who's this we? Where's your buddy?"
<Merzon> " ID? "
<Merzon> (( did I miss something here? ))
<Merzon> (( this teleportation thing isn't looking good ))
<Merzon> (( doh ))
<Alcar> "Your wallet . . you can't be that stoned . ." He pulls out a small black purse, like the one you took from the bard
<Merzon> (( that fool has a gun! ))
<Merzon> (( everything makes sense now! :-P ))
<Alcar> ((ROFL))
<Jeramias> ((LOL))

<Merzon> (( LOL, I removed a light bulb from a freezer and got electrocuted! ROTFL ))
<Alcar> ((yup))
<Jeramias> ((lol, took you long enough))
<Merzon> (( and now I'm going to get shot ))

<Alcar> "Your wallet . . you can't be that stoned . ." He pulls out a small black purse, like the one you took from the bard
* Merzon hands the wallet to the man
<Alcar> "What the hell? What are you on? You're not Elvis Presley . ."
<Merzon> " Who? "
<Alcar> Sma frowns "What do you mean who? This is the id for Elvis . .. hell, a replica from the year he died?!"
<Merzon> " Ummm....he's not dead. "
<Merzon> " I was beating him up a short while ago. "
<Alcar> "Oh, great . .an elvis nut . ." Pauses.
<Alcar> "Wow . ." almost awed "They didn't have crack that good when I was younger . ."

<Merzon> " I'm going insane? (pointing at the guy with the gun) This man thinks the man I was talking to 20 minutes ago is dead. "

<Merzon> (( you had to transport us to modern times ))
<Merzon> (( grrrrr ))
<Merzon> (( wait...I have gold on me....I'm rich! ))

<Merzon> " (whispers towards Jer) You planning on helping me out here buddy? "
<Jeramias> "There is no one behind the freezer" *whispered*
<Merzon> " (whispers) Thanks a lot. "

<Merzon> " Well, I've been to the land of the undead where we fought with a dracolich "
<Sherman`> "Wow"
<Sherman`> "You lived?"
* Sherman` whispers to dan "That's like a lich, except for a dragon"
<Merzon> " Yeah "
<Sherman`> "Hey, lets go up to fantasy forum with them"

* Jeramias outruns Sherman because he gets exersize, unlike the two AD&D players who pretend to exersize in their fantasy world
<Sherman`> (he's playing his IRL self, he durring a sprint has hit 10 mph

* Lance_Zeil heads slowly to the bridge...still observing...
* Cptn_Carlson glances ant Lance_Zeil , "is there a test i don't know about?"

<Cptn_Carlson> "Why couldn't we be OVERPOWERED?"

<Cptn_Carlson> Okay , we'll proly all die ,but
<Cptn_Carlson> "Target their bridge!" "Full power to weapons " "Fire"
<Cptn_Blackwell`> all weapons?
<Cptn_Carlson> can i save the game here?

<Cptn_Carlson> we all die , but i jump into my lifepod j/k

<Keith`> i take it it has no real sorce of power on its own?
<Darkkin> Shuttle has its own systems
<Darkkin> it can hold up to 8 people
<Keith`> which meens we can use it to scan and servive if i can't get life suport back soon

<Rampstin> "look... dead bushes... the allmighty god called dm must be trying to point something out to us... let's go in a different direction ;)"
<WarnerDM> The forest continues to sit there peacfully waiting for the party to dare to try to enter it :)
* Rampstin sets off in the direction of the dead bushes, determined to get high as quickly as possible and not give the dm any troubles
<WarnerDM> one of the trees says to its neibor, "Oh what a nice polite young one this is." "Oh yes not like that nasy woodsman" but all this is lost on anyone who doesn't speek norther pine wood :)

<Rampstin> "where are you? i have some money for you here, and i do have an ex-girlfriend who pitifully enough is still a virgin"
<Mister`^> "If you bring her here so I can eat her, I'll help you."
<Mister`^> "How do I know I can trust you, just bring the girl!"
<Rampstin> "i mean... eating my ex-girlfriend might help me a bit, but i'd like some more evidence first... i mean.. i am going to be giving you a girl i used to love (i stress the words used to)"
<Mister`^> "The girl the girl!"
<Rampstin> "and you're going to be cutting her up into bitesized chunks and swallowing her down" i gulp at the mentioning of this
<Mister`^> "I was planning on doing it in one bite.. but if you insist.."

<Gelhalee> ((Gel might not exactly be an optemest but he's certainly an opertunest :)

<Alcar> (the menu consists of soup, cow (cooked, surprisingly enough), bread and ? (? means that even the cook isn't sure what it is any more))
* Gelhalee raises his left eyebrow at the menu. A look he normally reserves for those rare occations when your living room furnature heads out side for a evening stroll. While your still in it.
<Gelhalee> ((usually in these games anything with the tittle "The unknown one" is trying to kill me. Not something i'm suposed to eat))

<Alcar> ok, you can see Jaise above the army, flying towards you
<Alcar> It looks to be made of dark fire, bure black. You see it flicker, then Jaise vanishes. It flies back down
* `Reeve`` blinks
<`Reeve``> does it look like it freakin' killed Jaise?
<Alcar> yes
<Alcar> and since jaise was made by the powers, or commissioned by them . .you don't want to know what could kill jaise . .
* `Reeve`` blinks again... watches.... and then in a fit of pure rage uses the small amount of power in the amulet to a) boost his speed as much as possible, while b) making his yell as loud and powerful as it possibly could be, filling it with hatred, sorrow, and insane rage all at once. Rule #1 of being an evil overlord: Don't kill the only friend i've had for all 3000 of my years on this God forsaken planet.

<Snake`-----> "i have a holy war to fight or did you forget?"
<Gelhalee> "I guess I forgot. Thought we did that already"

<Gelhalee>: "Poison? Sir I am insulted. You are addressing Sir Gelhalee of the Gemini Magica. Just because we are mortal enemies is no reason to insult my cooking!"

<Gelhalee> "I've send for the ship. Tell the people not to touch anything on the way in. The basement shops are, well not the sorts of things people used to the light of day like to talk about.
* Gelhalee thinks .oO(Lord I hope the Illithid's don't get any ideas for adding to the pens)

<Gelhalee> ((hehe, invading armies tend to bring out the munchkin in me))

<Gelhalee> we're not defending the city
<Gelhalee> we're just planing to revolt against it's new leader awufully soon :)
<Alcar> What? You don't like the warlord?
<Gelhalee> well I like his ecomomic plans. his views on dogs and the femail elderly. but his policy of mass extermination has me a little annoyed

<Gelhalee> so how we doing on quotes?
<Gelhalee> I work for quotes like most munchkins work for exp :0

<VVarner> 19 occurrences of rat golf in 7 files :)
<VVarner> hmm 17 occurances of keith asking alcar to add rat golf to the quotes :P
<VVarner> 2083 occurrence(s) of rat in 71 file(s)

<Gnomish> "we wouldn't halpon to have any rats on board would we?"
* Gnomish goes off in search of a rat
<Warner> Gnomish finds himself a nice mess of rats. none of which seem to be voluntiering for military service
* Gnomish grabs one by the tail dragging it up on deck
<Warner> Gnomish emerges on deck wielding a rat getting some strange looks from the confused crew
* Gnomish sets it on the railing and then gets up on the railling pinning it in place with his foot
* Gnomish gets out his war hammer
<Gnomish> "FOUR!"
* Gnomish swings knocking the rat in to the sea
* Gnomish watches how fair it goes
<Warner> the rat skips three times then starts swiming back to the ship
<Warner> gnomish finds it goes about 1/16th the way to the other ship

<Gnomish> "ahh good live weaponry!"
* Gnomish goes and finds a few more rats feading them so they come along willingly
<Warner> a few rats come but a few are wise to gnomish and are calling the SPCR on their cell phones
<Kynan> (But cell phones destroy brain cells and rats have small brains . .it's suicide!)
<Warner> (the rats panic and start using speaker phones :P)
* Gnomish trys to befriend 3 rats inclooding the half dround one
<Gnomish> "hay look i didn't figur you would servive that first blow just do me a favor and let me make it up to you"

<Mrs_Grimble> "who needs gods? heck my grandson thinks i'm a god!"
<Mrs_Grimble> "specailly when i get hopping mad"

<Kristea> "these people arent right"
<Kristea> "they are evil, lustful"
<Talso> "Oh don't worry its normal"

<K`-----> "its nanoc's blade now see he gets it would you?"
<`Drake``> "Just as soon as i kill you with this cute one right here, mate. Pick up the damn sword"
<K`-----> "Kill me if you want it would only be a favor"
* K`----- starts walking for the border yet again
<`Drake``> "God dammit! You self righteous bastard! Fight me like a god damned man, would you!?"
<K`-----> "we will some day but not now not here"
* K`----- keeps going
* `Drake`` just stares
<`Drake``> "You sound like you're in some god damned play! This isn't the stage, you know!"
<K`-----> "I KNOW THAT"
<`Drake``> "We're men! We fight real fights, live real lives. We don't just say catchy one liners and disappear into the night. Our problems just don't get put on hold! Gods!"

<K`-----> "look what are you going to do follow me around yelling at me for the rest of all eternity or not?"
<`Drake``> "You dwell on everything wrong in your life. You live in the past and hope for the future, but the moment means nothing to you! You're a stupid blind asshole! You're a hundred year old teenager!"

* Umagoro is laying curled up around a tree looking almost like a snow drift if it wasn't for the fact there is no snow for miles

* Nameless-Hellspawn is a descritionless hellspawn, since the DM didn't send a description along with the character and I'm not feeling all that creative

<MessiahX> resurect something you kill as a farmiliar i allow all mages to do that
<Griki> MessiahX - even a tarrasque? :)
<MessiahX> if you kill it
<Ordelia_StarBlade> Even other PCs?
<onyx_kinslayer> so i can kill a dragon and have it as a familiar
* Alcar wants a god familiar :)
* onyx_kinslayer runs in search of a dead dragon

<onyx_kinslayer> i need a baby dragon
<Mr_bake_o> (a baby dragon is useless :P)
<Ordelia_StarBlade> A baby dragon can kick some other mage's cat's ass...

<Captain_Carlson> "Aw man , can't something be normal"

<Delta_Droid> "Halt! ..You must be deprogramed!"
<Lt_Krynn> "No thanks! I've already joined the military!"

<Lt_Krynn> 1d20 - c'mon spark... i'll buy you an star, and enough explosives to make it super nova

<Lt_Krynn> "Settle down, Jane. I have everything under control. Just not life support"

<Lt_Krynn> "With all due respect sir, the Microsoft Corporation is on our backs down here, and i don't think it's about not registering our newest version of windows"
<Jane`-----> "we have an incampment to the south of here"
<Cmdr_Bosch> "hmm...IBM will not be happy"
<Cmdr_Bosch> "Do you have any locks on microsoft assets"
<Lt_Krynn> "Let's hope it's not Microsoft. Heading there now"

<Baliadoc> Keith! Get off the damn Playstation! It is Satan! I am Jesus! Come to Jesus, my child! PLLLEEEEAAASE!

<Keith`> you do realize paging me sets off a time that runs the sound ever 30 seconts don't you?
<Baliadoc> yes
<Baliadoc> we were willing to take that chance
<Baliadoc> civilian lives mean nothing when it comes to getting you into Callaran

* Jeramias grins the type of grin that would drive a man insane, but it has no effect on anyone here because they allready are
* Baliadoc blinks at Jer, the type of blink that would drive a man insane. In Jer's case, it already has :)

<Jeramias> "We succeed, we live. We don't, we die. We run away, we die. How do you like them odds?" *grins*

<Jeramias> "You think that was the king? When we came in he was doing paper work. Ha. Ever seen a king do that?"

<WomanWithFamiliarFace> naw... better wait until after they get the king. Bwa ha ha ha
<WomanWithFamiliarFace> just when they think they've won the last boss, someone bigger and better apears ;)

* Baliadoc glances around at various rooves on the way, to see if any dark rituals are going on on them
<Alcar> bali sees two vampires . .well, its a ritual .. and they're alone in the room . .some would cal it dark . .
* Baliadoc blinks... are you saying it's THAT kinda ritual? During a war!?

<Baliadoc> (Well, either the universe is being destroyed, or we're going for a little trip... oh, nevermind, it's one of those eternal darkness bits)

* Jeramias continues to stare at Kilides Body
<Jeramias> "How could she be here when she was dead?"
* Jeramias is completely in awe.
<Baliadoc> "Okay. You need answers for stuff as basic as a dead companion coming back to haunt us? I'm surprised at you Jer. Really."

* Ryu`---- with one hand in his bag comes up with the 6 wands
* Ryu`---- points them at the scrolls
<Ryu`----> "want to try me?"
<Alcar> The lich looks at the wands, lets go of Ryu's arm
* Jeramias grabs the wands
* Ryu`---- starts eating the scrolls while jer has his hands on the wands
* Ryu`---- crumpls them up and starts swollowing them hole
* Jeramias points the wand at Lisha. "Stop! Now!"
* Alcar points out that if the wand does go off ryu and jer become a laundry problem for Lisha . .getting ashes off of clothing can be a pain ..
<Baliadoc> "I've been with this group for too long. This's almost normal for me."

<Alcar> Plus, did anyone stop to think if the king had a second copy, or if Eral has one still?
<Baliadoc> lol, no, not really. but Eral's on my 'to do' list
* Alcar points it you need a LOT of help, or you'll be his laundry problem :)
<Baliadoc> lol, remember my plan to get rid of him though?
<Alcar> err, no.
<Baliadoc> just waiting until there was TV, then taping every Barney and Teletubby episode, and making him watch them for as long as it took for him to want to die? :)

<Baliadoc> a real hunter nukes the place and just counts the skeletons... that's why i want to be president :)

<Warner> Jeramias you have a sick mind that will take you places. just not particulerly nice places

<Jeramias> If I had a dime for every woman that walked up to me and said "I want to fuck your brains out," well, I'd still be totally broke.

<Jeramias> it too easy to make fun of alot of things

* Londer is angry at being betrayed ((and angry at himself for not paying attention for the screen and seeing this earlier))

<MessiahX> "Hmm Pussy... thats a good name"
* MessiahX pets Pussy... his cat

<Londer> ((hey, i get to do this until my hps drop to 0... have fun holding me 60 rounds ;) ))

* Shadowkin sees the million $ man theme come on this time with a chicken
<Shadowkin> "We can save the chicken..but will need to rebuild her with stronger better parts"

<Rampstin> "I am hannibal lector!" i shout at any ghouls thinking of coming near the clerics and me "don't come close or i'll eat you for breakfast!"

<Rampstin> ((tareth is diving into the mausoleum? he would seriously crunch his nose on the stone floor ;) ))

<WarnerDM> "You have all been summoned here as part of Synths anual festival of munchkins. The gods will amuse them selves as you atempt to justify your existance."
<WarnerDM> "Any competiter who is found to be unamusing will be disposed of in the most amusing manner your patron god can think off"

Quote <Glikamuth> ((i guess having a tarrasque and a beholder unhappy with you does wonders)):

<WarnerDM> ((lets face it you all don't exactly look like the most reasuring bunch of heros :))
<WarnerDM> ((or the strange man sitting in the fire place:))

<Baliadoc> "Dear Sirs: I am a devote christian paladin, of 16th level, and I recently received your +5 Holy Avenger sword from my local church. However, upon using it, i found that it was a) only +4, and b) was a sword of fumbling as well. Could you please refund my church the money for the sword, and if you would please attend the funeral of the High Priest Funeral, who died when i tried to wield the sword, but it slipped from my hands, we would greatly appreciate it."

<Warner> spells to force the manufacter to recall their defective holy avenger :)
<Alcar> mass recall on level 2 warriors in the kings army
<Alcar> 'I'm soory, they're not fit to fight our forces. Please send better troops."
<Warner> give em back to the king a few weeks later with a new child safe caps on their swords :)
<Warner> now they can't draw their weapons with out the aid of some one under 6 :)

<Keith`> i'm a demi god and we don't have a bard in the groop!?!?

<Reeve> "I don't think it was me. I think it was your poor fighting. I doubt any dark and evil powers would associate with such a weenie!"

<Alcar> The Elders frown, nodding. "Who shall rule our city then?"
* Shadowkin points to the kender...j/k

<Gelhalee> ((A kender with Business sence! Who needs geese with golden eggs?))

<Gelhalee> ((Sheesh I'm so busy cutting deals for the shop I've compleatly lost track of whats going on in the game))

* Londer ((sends a big angry red dragon to fly circles over beriz, waiting for the council to tax it))

<Londer> ((i thought the city was just given to us, to run it as we wanted, i guess that means gel can decide not to pay taxes.. a civil uprising with his head being chopped off might be the result, but...))

<Snake`> i sware the next time i dm that ship is getting burnt down due to an alcomists mistake

* Gerbal grabs a bowl and fills it with soup. Standing heroically wiht one leg on a small rock he yells,"i have the soup." Then he notices that the soup is hot and drops the bowl smashing all over the ground. Quickly he gets another bowl and fills more soup. clearing his throat and just in a whisper as not to get attention on himself, "i have the soup."

<Gelhalee> "certainly, the safty deposit box is free if you have an account with us."
<Sannin> "how much does an account cost?"
<Gelhalee> "Minimum to oppen an account is 20gp. And you get a free calender"

<Gelhalee> (this new religion doesn't say anything about forgiving old debts does it?)

<Gelhalee> ((Gel gets more and more Ferengi like with each game :))

<Gerbal> "i wouldnt do anything to peck."
* Londer looks suspicious at gerbal and the kids, and at all the dead birds, but can't seem to make the link

* Snake idely contenplates returning to his days of being a dog of war just to simplfy his life

<K`---> "She asked me to kill her. she asked to be releaced from her slavory and torcher"
<Bzorn> "she asked you to cut off her head?"

<Talso> This is kinda like a Soap Opra
<Talso> Got a sick person in a bed(kinda) talking to the person who feels guilty about him being hurt
<Talso> and people don't get killed off..
<Talso> they just die...and come back again and again

* SolBianca uses her polearm as a walking stick
* Bzorn uses Sol as a walking stick....j/k
<SolBianca> (that would be interesting...I'd bite your knees off.)
* K`--- uses bxorn and sol as stilts J/K

* Jane`-`-`-`- looks to see if any one else is awake and disapointingly finds out no one else is awake

* Jane`-`-`-`- starts to get to work on getting it moving
<Alpha1`> You'll need to open the pilot's area
* Jane`-`-`-`- kicks the gm for good measure

<Cmdr_Bosch> cut to badalon
* Cmdr_Bosch has fallen asleep in the command chair
<Cmdr_Bosch> cut to jane

* Jane`-`-`-`- trys to land it with out killing any one
<Jane`-`-`-`-> 1d20
<Sparkie`> Jane`-`-`-`- 1d20: 9
* Jane`-`-`-`- mannages to just miss sorrin's head
* Jane`-`-`-`- all thought sadly crushes his body

<Cmdr_Bosch> You arrive in the medbay to see Sorrin with his gun out pointing at alpha4 and ranting
<Lt_Sorrin> "Evil! Evil one! I know your kind! Destroy ships, turning them into salt!"
<Jane`-`-`-`-> "Put the weapon down!"
<Lt_Sorrin> "back, evil imps! Even the dead can die again! God's wrath will strike you down!:
* Lt_Krynn puts his gun away, walking towards Sorrin
<Lt_Krynn> "I love religous fanatics. They always make the best pilots" *under his breath. VERY sarcastically*

<Cmdr_Bosch> Poor Krynn
<Cmdr_Bosch> every time he touches anything to repair it he destorys it

* Lt_Krynn jumps out of the shuttle
<Lt_Krynn> "Hey hey! I brought goodies!"
* Jane`-`-`-`- reflexes and pulls her pistal befor she has a chanse to think
<Jane`-`-`-`-> "don't do that!"
* Jane`-`-`-`- puts it away
<Lt_Krynn> "What? You didn't notice the giant space shuttle landing next to you?"
<Lt_Krynn> "Anyway, take a look and see if you can ID the things i brought back. I'm going to go find Alpha 1 and see if he wants any of this stuff"

* Jane`-`-`-`- just to confuse the hell out of Krynn kisses his cheek then goes to check out what he brought back
* Lt_Krynn finds women kissing his cheek to be normal (he is a pilot, after all ;)), and goes back to finding Alpha 1
* Jane`-`-`-`- debates about just kicking him in the nuts next time

<Snake`---> (i'm a demi god not a 20th level wizard damn it!)

<Salem_Brookstone> Al- you got no sense of humor
<Sir_Alfred> I'm 2042 years old. It's probably rotted.

<fuhkahreDM> The Red Knee Of The Dragon is the largest and only Taevern in town
<Sparkey_Steelballs> (then it cant be the largest for somthing to be large you have to have something smaller than it)

* Lt_Krynn notes it was the GM's fault then. i say we mutiny the GM and make the game our own!

<Lt_Krynn> "Power up the weapons, Jane. He has knowledge that can't be allowed to fall into Microsoft's hands"

<uncle_trapspringer> can i be a kender-thief
<Marcus_Fenway> Kender-Thief !?!? I thought Kender was a Thief!

<Warner> Sheesh, you know your using to many dark forces to produce a good game when you drop your keyboard and 666 flashes up on your screen.

<myorkal_lightstar> "i killed some kid the other day just because he said my god was a dumbass, im not even sure he was talking about MY god"

<Warner> you don't have to have a compleate sheet if you have a good idea what your playing.
<Warner> the normal rules of charictor creation are being suspended in the interest of the gods amusement :)

<Warner> the skelotons do indead come up, but are nearly 5 blocks away in the local cemitary where they are frightening grounds keepers who against all reason are trying to get them to behave and stay dead

<Warner> any actions before I go on?
* Shebazz has still not been, pardon the pun, briefed, on wheather tarrasques have sex organs
<Warner> ((man, the strange things that come up in these games. sheesh))

* Betty`` gives them all suckers also, unknowingly rotting their teeth and creating a legend about a big woman in aa dress who feeds them and causes them intesne pain in the jaws later, causing lots of fat old grannies ot be killed by sprites with tooth aches in the future, but no good deed goes unpunished :)

<Warner> As you stand before the castle Guirgui, it seems a little more pleased by it's ominous appearance. Most like due to the fact that your now standing close enough that it can block out most of the cheery morning that has been trying to upstage it all day. The uninviting front gate stands closed as if defiantly saying, "What now smart alec?"

<Warner> ((remind me to not DM for any more arsonists from hell :)

<Sannin> "oh and did i mention there is a large trushure horde burryed underneath the city" (i whisperd that)
<Shadowkin> "All for money sannin"
<Sannin> "exactly!"
<Sannin> "errr no for the city but"
<Sannin> "a nice finders fee of 10% would be nice"

<Alcar> Snake's meeting his clerics/cult, and Reeve is, of all things, finishing up a hair cut
<`Reeve``> hey! fighting evil immortal things that what your soul and guys you've known for 3000 years who've gone insane really make you yearn for the little things :)

<Gelhalee> (Death by nervous barber. what a ignomenous end)

* Baliadoc is going to have a rumble with them, most likely
<Baliadoc> just a talking rumble, hopefully
<Baliadoc> but a rumble nonetheless :)

* BlueSkull Sits around singing "99 bottles of ale on the wall" in a desperate attempt to not be mistakenly buried or used as a book end.

<Wendy``> "Well, if you can talk you're not dead . . Are you?"
<BlueSkull> "Hmm, that is a point. I just assumed I was dead. People screaming when you show up unexpectedly and buring you tends to give you that impression

<BlueSkull> "As for vampires dragons and dandruff fairies I can't say. Never met any my self. But I did run into this rabit once that enjoyed hiding all your eggs. Damn cheeky if you ask me. And to make maters worce when I found them again they were always hard boiled! I mean, it was a nice guesture but if you can't make a 2 minute egg leave mine alone"

<Laura---> (oh yah! whos the bug killer now!)

* Alcar did make a necrophilliac necromancer for his own system, just cause
<Baliadoc> ewww!!
* Baliadoc wishes this wasn't your channel, so he could kick and ban you :)

Quote <Warner> ok, your all on a featureless plain. nothing can be seen all the way to the horizon. with the exception of the other players. have fun :)
* Warner starts the stop watch, curously wondering how long it will take the 22 level players to kill each other :)

<Sintaqx> ack!!!
<Sintaqx> brb
<Sintaqx> I think my ferret disconnected my LAN
* Sintaqx is glad alcar's not here... that would have been made into a quote

<ClydeQ> level 1 weapon master ... that's a contradiction in terms ...

<Jon[DS]> The adventure starts when the characters are approached by a tall, unassuming gentleman clad in somewhat unfashionable garments that bear only a light dusting of dandruff. It should be obvious to the players that this character looks like a wizard- tall, thin, unattractive to women, that sort of thing.

<Gandorf> "I'm Chaotic Lawful"

<ClydeQ> {and most thieves don't just say out loud that they're thieves
<Alissa_> (yeah they pretend to be fighters that can't afford chainmail :)

<Alcar> Old Bone hesitates. "Illithid? You consort with creatures of that ilk?!"
<Gelhalee> "I rent space to them. They pay their bills just like every one else."
<Gelhalee> "And they gave their word not to enslave any of my paying customers"
<Alcar> The skeleton gives the impression it would blink if it could "I see. How kind of them."
<Gelhalee> "All they do is teach here anyway. For a walking colection of calcium deposits you're awfully jugmental"

<Gelhalee> "Don't!" Gel screams trying to stop the Otyugh from becoming just another pile of experance points

<Sannin> (what are we fighting?)
<Alcar> Something that smpells like a sewer and it very hungry, it seeems
<Sintaqx> ((it's a tenticaled pile of shit))

* Gelhalee screams at Mile, "Stop that! That thing cost me 8,000gp!"
<Gelhalee> "And I had to raise her from a pup"
* Mile_Cavin turns to Gelhalee with a very odd look on his face
<Gelhalee> "It's only trying to eat you because you wont stop attacking it!"
<Gelhalee> "The poor things been burried all night with it's sewage leaking out"
<Sannin> "dammit gel you think you could have trained it better"

* Mile_Cavin looks back again "Gel..Why would you want to raise a piece of shit as a pet?"
<Gelhalee> "It's not a pet. It's part of my sewage system. And she does a damn fine job. She is inteligent you know"
<Sannin> "gel why didnt you get get a magic septic tank or somthing"
<Gelhalee> "Sannin, you want magical shit backing up on you when happen to sail to close to a magic dead area? Thats the kind of elemental I can do with out"

* Vyasta_Trasil approaches what's left of Gel's shop, but stops short once she notices a signifigant lack of a certain shop in the immediate vicinity
<Alcar> Ther other one is broadcasting "Want mate now!" rather loudly to the whole area
<Gelhalee> "Oh good lord she's in heat! Why do these things always happen at times like this?"
<Vyasta_Trasil> Umm..... I guess this is a bad time to order some magical ointment?"

<Gelhalee> "Quick, find the captain. Ask him to find the nearest Otyugh colony in this area. If we don't get her to a mate soon, well we're gona have a mess"
<Sannin> "well im not getting into this....i dont want to get my robes dirty"
<Mile_Cavin> (this sounds like a B-type movie "Attack Of The Shit Beasts!")

<Alcar> <old Bones> "I really don't think those ..creatures are native to this world, dear elf . . . Perhaps this is your penancy for consorting with the underdark?"
<Gelhalee> "She is in heat, covered in shit, and powerfull enough to tear this city a new orifice. We have to get her pointed in the right direction soon or she'll go into a mating dance. You don't want that happening here. Trust me on this"

<Alcar> However, 2 Otyughs broadcasting "We want each other" is rather . . disturbing for everyone concerned :)
<Gelhalee> (Um, they are both female. Don't tell me my Otyugh are lesbians. I was counting on recooping the investment in pupies)

<Snake`--> (oh crap seems to say it all)

* Gelhalee digs faster and projecting soothing thoughts and thinking about baseball
<Alcar> ((Baseball??))
<Gelhalee> ((Trying to keep them from going into heat.))

<Sannin> (i wonder what one of thoes things would taste like)
<Vyasta_Trasil> ((shit))
<Snake`--> (breath thought your mouth next time you fart)

* Vyasta_Trasil locates a towel in gel's wagon and, hoping it's not intelligent, wiped her hands on it

<Vyasta_Trasil> ((hehe... forbidden knowledge... a wizards or priest's oxymoron))

<Gelhalee> "Again, thank you all. If that vial had broken... I mean, with that poor misguided child... I feared the worst. Some one could have gotten the idea my shop isn't safe and run me out of town!"
<Sannin> "err gel"
<Sannin> "your shop aint safe"
<Sannin> "i mean shit monsters tryed to eat us"
<Gelhalee> "Shush!" he hisses, "Don't say things like that. I've got a community immage to uphold now"

<Sannin> "why dont you start by dressing decently"
<Gelhalee> "What do you mean decently? Are my ankles showing?" He looks down at his heal lenght bath robe showing genuine concern
* Gelhalee looks rather flumaxed and goes in search of a full length mirror.
* Gelhalee passes snake in his search for a mirror and asks, "Do you see anything wrong with my outfit?" he turns arounding with genuine concern on his face.
* Snake`-- looks gel up and down "no stranger then normal"

* Gelhalee soon returns looking slightly more groomed and with narry a wrinkle in his bathrobe. You'd almost think this mad man in bath tub atire was concerned about his apearance.

* Snake`-- leaves the inn/tavern/.... (ok i won't say it but you all know what Vyasta_Trasil turned this place in to)

<Warner> I probably have refused enough exp to get gel to 12th level. I'm just to lazy to make up a new sheet :)

<Warner> hehe, I just had a haunting vision of Gel loaning out his xp points and changing interest :)

* `Riker sheathes his sword, tucking it under his black trenchcoat, the style all Earth-dwellers seem to be wearing nowadays. Must be the new movie: "The Matrix 54"

* Bart_S looks for a movie theater playing the new star wars post prequil sequil spin off.

* Bart_S smugles himself aboard and starts looking for food to hord
<Sheerrow> ((oooh.. let the anti-missle system think bart's a missile :))
* `Riker turns around, lighting a cigarette and looking at the weird winged chick and the guy
<Bart_S> ((oooh.. let the anti-missle system think Rikers cigarette is a heat signature :))

<Tzarrgrinn> "crrssk tekkte`kreessa"
* `Riker looks at Tzarr
<`Riker> "Hairball?"
<`Riker> "Or is that your language?"

<Bart_S> (beautiful? she sounds like garfield :)
<Sheerrow`> ((hehe...... true, but nobody has ever commented on that and lived ;) ))
<Bart_S> ((well keep talking about eating poor bart and we'll put that to the test))

<Bart_S> ((Kill all executives! Let personel sort them out :))

<Sheerrow`> ((brb, feeding the weasel))
<Bart_S> ((That sounds so much dirtier then it should))

<Warner> I could be wrong. maybe it makes the channel smell nicer with fewer dead bodys in it :)

<Sintaqx> Joe - Rebel, member of any anti-government or corporation group
<Keith`> well that would put a new spin on the saying "i'm just an avrage joe"

<Sintaqx> hehe...... I just realized something about the group
<Sintaqx> we have 2 characters over 7' tall and over 300 lbs, 3 characters with retractile claws, and every character would likely rather use no weapons than use weapons
<Sintaqx> yeah, but he's getting close to lunchtime

<Sintaqx> Alcar... just think what an infant AI program would learn by hanging around AD&D players :)
<Leech_Wilcomes> learn how to kill its controler REALLY fast

<Vejjita_SSJ4> the titanic would be a minor drawback for a tinker gnome
<Alcar> Sort of like making a boat entirely of wood because it floats . .then using the wooden anchor . .
<Kilin> yeah....mean while they used carosine for a sealent and the deside to light a match....

<Laura`----> "you know the stries they tell you about 2nd star to the right and on till morning must meen space travel"
<Burke`> "Forgive me for asking, but what exactly are you referring to?"
<Burke`> "I'm afraid I don't remember many stories any more."'
<Laura`----> "you where never told to directions to never never land?"
* Burke` blinks, looking startled, then says slowly "Ah, no."

<Laura`----> "never realy known my parents... i'm told my mother was an empty vessal and my father a macheen but i don't bleave that"
* Laura`---- looks confused

<Warner> knowing the game mechanics tends to take more fun out of a game then it adds.

<WarnerDM> the door in a valint effort to continue to be a door refuses to buckle. Unfortunately the hinges no nothing of any of this and bend in ways they were never ment to.

<WarnerDM> The dragon regards you both evenly. As it idlely straches behind its ear with a hind leg it says, "Hart burn? You look more like a piolet light"
<MessiahX> "I don't care... there is no antacid that can put out my unholy flames"

* MessiahX heads toward the hall that he assumes the vampires are probably at the end of
<WarnerDM> ((don't say things like that. You tempt the DM to dump you into the teletubbie planet))
<MessiahX> ((things like what?))
<WarnerDM> (things that imply that you think I'm being predictable )
<MessiahX> ((i meant that my pc assumed the vampires must be that way))
<WarnerDM> As messiah looks around the coner it finds the castles crypt just where he expected it to be, much to the DM's annoyance.

<WarnerDM> as the dust clears you see what you can only presume to be 8 vampires exibiting all the symptoms of a smokers cough
<WarnerDM> dust, smoke, flying wood ect :)

<WarnerDM> As one the vampires decide that discresion is the beter part of valor and turn into clouds of elemental vapor and assume gaseous form.
<Caelestis> ((did all of them go gassus?))
<WarnerDM> ((Lets see, a hell spawn, a half orge, a half tarrasque and what ever caelestis was again come stomping thru a stone wall that had a trap in it turning the munchkin festival. Are YOU going to hang around? :)
<Betty``> ((they could have at least asked for our autographs!))

<Jeramias> hmmm.... munching on undead can raise your health. did you realize that?

* Leech_Wilcomes is 120 years old and is a 4'5" tall elf.. or would be if he finds a gm

* Drim screams, "Mayor Poe is our Foe!" ((just kidding))
<Alynah> ((Iny miny manie mo, catch a mayour by the toe, if he squeals let him go, iny miny manie poe"))

<fuhkahre> "People of Drendor! As you all know I am the Mayor Poe!"
<Alynah> All hail mayor Poe
<fuhkahre> "Recently there has been an incident that must be discussed!"
<fuhkahre> "Tonight there is a town meeting."
<Alynah> all hail matter to be discussed
<fuhkahre> "Any foreigners are not welcome!"
<Alynah> all hail...ok i'll stop

* Drim draws his weapon and holds it close to the storekeeper and asks how much he would give me for it.

<phaedo> "cant you beat up the elf first?? i'm sure she did something worng.."

<Alynah> I am the head adventurer here. At least, the one who makes complete sentences.

<phaedo> "I nerver dunk before... cept the inn keeper said I was drunk and married alynah so I guess if I drink enough alynah will wed someone else"
* Tolk looks at phaedo "All 3 of us were in that suite you know . .and I've never been THAT drink before ,. ."

* phaedo thinks pc's should always consider what the gm's npc's say as it helps you keep from doing a drim

<fuhkahre> what just happened?
<phaedo> (think er head was choped off and she died)

<Jonas```> that's our map :)
<Cspr> lol. ok.
<Doc_Claw> i though it was a fallic symbol

* Tusk-Anini` attacks the other weren all out claws while giving the weren battle cry of (it is a good day to kill)

<Jonas```> "What is this thing? Are we actually the bad guys or something, cuz this guy just won't die!"

<Tusk-Anini`> one game and 7 npc's become cream filling for the galactic twinkie

<Kimmey`> Sparkie is past 800 quotes!!!!!' does this mean he said the same stupid thing 800 times today?

<MessiahX> Yol_tura hears in his head... We need your help...
* Yol_Tura looks around for where the noise came from
<Jarra> ((help me Obi-Wan-tura...you are my nly hope...))

* Yol_Tura walks up to the blue men
* Yol_Tura looks at the blue men carfully
* Jarra ((*you begin to hear the smurf these song fainty in the distance,and for a moment think the arcane are wearing white caps and overalls...but when you blink all is back to normal*))

* Garon` finishes his own packing, and gets ready to go, paying for his bill with a Visa
and hoping the Dm doesn't notice
<Jarra> ((rofl Garon))
<Garon`> ((Shh, he hasn't yet))
<Jarra> ((It's everywhere you wanna be.))
<MessiahX> Garons visa platnum is turned to a copper discover card before your
very eyes
* Garon` sobs occly, and stops trying to get the $calc feature to work out the
massive air miles from converting gold into visa . .

<Yol_Tura> "What does Kaija have against the Warriors guild?"
<MessiahX> Nesral: "Yol_tura... as for your question she was turned away by the
warriors guild because she had the coordination of a drunken monkey"

<Yol_Tura> "Hey um.. i have a question. I mean no disrespect, but I just wondered where
you got your limp from?"
* Garon` eyes Yol_Tura warily, but shrugs and mock punches the air in front of
him, then mimes taking a few hits and shrugs
<Yol_Tura> "Someone beat you up? Want me to kick thier ass for you?"
* Garon` looks startled but shakes his head.

* Garon` frowns, puts his hand over his mouth and shakes his head firmly, then
drags a small notepad and quill from his pack and writes on it, handing it to Yol_Tura
* Garon` writes "I see dead people." on it. Or not . ..
* Yol_Tura looks at the pad for a while, then looks over it and at Garon
<Yol_Tura> "I can't read."
* Garon` blinks, then smiles ruefully and nods

<Yol_Tura> "So, you don't want me to kick whoever beat you up's ass?"
* Garon` shakes his head, then points to himself anmd makes a pumching motion,
trying to convey that its his fight, but decides to settle for teaching his player charades
<Yol_Tura> "You want me to kick your ass?"
* Garon` stops, looking startled then shakes his head vigorously
* Yol_Tura brightens up
<Yol_Tura> "You want me to point at you, then kick thier ass!"

* Jarra moves cautiously over to Garon, places the dead peccary at this feet and
walks back to the meat he put down
<Yol_Tura> "This is thier marriage seramony, I'm almost sure of it!"
* Yol_Tura looks at Garon
<Yol_Tura> "Congradulations!"
* Yol_Tura pats garon's back
* Garon` 's jaw drops and he gives Yol_Tura a look of utter horror
<Yol_Tura> "Man and wife eh?"

* Jarra says something in the weird language, pointing down the road, so you take it she
is asking if you are headed down there, or something similar
<Yol_Tura> "Yes, that is a road, you are a fast learner!"

<Yol_Tura> "So uh, garon, you don't talk much... Why is that?"
* Garon` puts his hand over his mouth and shakes his head firmly to Yol_Tura
while getting something from his pack
<Yol_Tura> "You didn't grab your mouth?"
* Garon` opens his mouth as it to talk, touches his throat then shakes his head
<Yol_Tura> "You have a sore throat?"

<Mile_Cavin> "No one trusts you.."
<Salem_Brookstone> nevr touch my weapon
<Mile_Cavin> "You kill me you're dead."
<Mile_Cavin> 'I kill you we rejoice."
<Salem_Brookstone> i don;t fear death
<Mile_Cavin> "It would be smart to avoid it wouldn't it?"

<Gelhalee> hehe Snakes followers include Ordi clerics, undead, and a love sick old stepie ponny :)

<Sannin> (can i get a recap)
<Gelhalee> We were attacked by grass that had the audacity to sit there quietly being grass.

* Gelhalee looks at the expansive ruins, "They say good things come in small packages. I hope the converse isn't true"

* Gelhalee sighs deaply and seeing the clue hidden in the middle of a pile of no clues heads for the center.

<Alcar> Seri shrugs "Why would we all split up?"
* Gelhalee looks at Seri, "Because we can get lost quicker that way"

* Gelhalee guard vanishes in a few inexpert brush strokes and reapears on the canvas.
<Alcar> The fighter tosses his sword from his ruined left arm to right and swings, tearing into Mile's side.
* Gelhalee looks over at the other guard and smiles, "Still want to fight?"
* Mile_Cavin stumbles to the side
<Alcar> The fighter doesn't even look impressed at when Gel did, or that he hurt Mile. Just shrugs and says "You die next then."
* Gelhalee goes, "Hmmf, kids these days, nothing impresses them unless its blowing up or having sex with them"

* Gelhalee looks at Mile feeling like Dr Frakinstine did during a particulerly low point in his carrer.

<Gelhalee> I was here after a magic item that never turned up. Keith was doing his own little thing. and the rest of the party was along to confuse me I think :)

* Riker` rubs his head, trying to look casual, but sucking at it horribly
* Riker` in fact, the Academy makes me a public enemy of the acting world, i'm so bad

<Riker`> "Hmm... cats that don't understand figures of speech, and an attempt at the ultimate race that doesn't understand technology. Maybe i'll write the pilot for this sitcom and settle down in suburbia..."

<Tzarrgrinn> I would hate to see what Sheerrow would do to a CorpSe in the mood she's in right now
<Tzarrgrinn> Remembering the past, talking about it, hearing the monkey-men's point of views and their opinions, having someone try to read her mind and being shot by a water gun....

<Dasc> "I am no goblin, I'm a hobgoblin"
<Kimmey`> ((is that like a neutered goblin?))

* Augustus hopes Kuno realizes that i have been doing something this whole time
* Augustus if not, then he'll at least realize that his firing squad is far smaller than it was originally

<Kimmey`> Had a plilospher/psycologist assassin in D&D converted palidins into warriors. even taught a pc krynn knight to give it up because of all the suffering he made in the name of doing "good"

<Sintaqx> The pirates are still following you. it is dawn, you're in a jungle/swampish area
* Jonas`` checks the scanners, to see if there's anyone in the area... like Yoda, by the sound of it

* Tusk-Anini passes out (stun is full)
* Jonas`` stands up
<Jonas``> "This was unforseen"
* Four_of_Seven fires her disruptor
* Jonas`` takes a shot too

<Sintaqx> jonas gets a fireball in the chest
<Jonas``> oh, is that all?

<Jonas``> "Just pick the seediest bar in town. We'll be there later"
<Sintaqx> you locate the seediest bar in town, it is difficult since there are a half dozen competing for the same lofty title

<Kulvor``> have a dead fetus trapped in your uterus that oughta clog things up

<Yol_Tura> (( never assume ))
<Yol_Tura> (( and never tell the dm yoru burdens unless he asks ))

<Yol_Tura> what do you want me to roll?
<Jarra> ((he doesnt actually have a climb walls skill, dm))
<Yol_Tura> (( SHHHHHHHH!! ))

<Garon`> ((hehhe. You know its a low level game when all the pcs hide in the tree instead of attacking the foe for exp))
<Yol_Tura> (( lol, we just aren't munchkins looking for exp =p ))

<MessiahX> one of them bit your throat yol tura get over it
* Yol_Tura thinks garon needs to make a new dice bot
<MessiahX> youll be backk soon
<Yol_Tura> (( I don't like being unconsious though!! =p ))
<Jarra> ((ah shut up, maybe youll have an erotic dream or something :P))

* Jarra looks uncomforatble in the wide open area...nowhere to hide, no trees to climb up for safety...
<MessiahX> Hey look jarra... a 10' tall cactus

<Salem__> "i'm here to chew gum and to kick ass...too bad i'm all out of bubble gum"

* Riker`` is using his patent pending "Walking and Talking" manuever :)
* Tzarrgrinn likes the "Scream and Leap" maneuver better, but it doesn't lend itself to normal traveling conditions
* Riker`` will let Tzarr buy his maneuver for the low low prices of $39.95, once i get it patented :)

* Salem__ goes for the think and act moves
* Tzarrgrinn often foregoes the think portion.. takes too much time
<Tzarrgrinn> << act first, act second, act again, think if time allows later. >>

* Tzarrgrinn doesn't really care that we are being followed... just means I don't need to carry rations

* Salem__ looks at Riker " why is the small fool with us (tilk)
* Salem__ "note to self-- "put small annoying thing out of of misery-- MY misery"

* Riker`` tries to position himself between the mutants and Tzarr, who puts the T in trouble :)

* Sheerrow 's ears and tail twitch in laughter
<Sheerrow> "A joke, riker."
* Sheerrow settles back against Tzarrgrinn
* Riker`` looks at Sheerrow, with a cold glare, then grins
<Riker``> "Ohhhh... you'll pay for that."
<Riker``> "Just wait till i get a ball of string, then we'll see who looks silly."

<Riker``> ((Laura, take 300 AP. I'll give me 7000, for awesome roleplaying. Tzarr, you and Sheerow get 9 mil to split as you see fit. julie, you lose AP for coming in the same time as Tilk. sorry :)))

<CopperLeaf> I've heard of playing in Forgotten Realms, Ravenloft, Dragon Lance, etc.. but do we really have to role play sesame street?

* MessiahX doesnt care if the players go all canible but just dont eat each other

<CopperLeaf> "perhaps if there was some adventure to be found somewhere.. but alas, the last adventure to come to this town was a traveling flea circus.. too bad it was living on my dog"

<Sintaqx> lychanthropic vampric transvestite psionic wild-mage kender lich

<Sintaqx> the state of reruns is in many ways similar to immmortality. How much you enjoy your existance is determined by your time slot

<Sintaqx> as a kender, if you ingested caffine, would you need to make a save vs poison?

<fuhkahre> The bartender looks to Phontramus "A dwarven spirits and beer then?"
<Phontramus_Achlan> "no.. I dont want to die."

* Phontramus_Achlan searches the man for id
<Tipop> ((ID? You're expecting a driver's license or something?))

<Alcar> Riker appears in the center of the room
<Salem__> "well looks who took the bait as well, mon captain"
<Salem__> "i guess you can really bulid a better mouse trap, my hats off to you , little man"

* Bart-S is a short 10 year old boy with spiky hair and a yellow complection
<Salem__> "wow- its that cartoon guy from that TV show"
<Sparkie> ((points out the show was over 400 yras ago .. .not many ppl would know o fit))
<Salem__> ((ok ok buts its funny as hell))
* Bart-S ((points out that while history is fleeting syndication is forever))

<Bart-S> (And god said, "Let there be light" And all the host of heaven said, "Aaaah! Warn us before you do that!")

<Alcar> He smiles and opens the door, revealing the worlds more perfect two storey mouse. off white wall paper, grey carpets, white appliances, plain rugs etc.
<Salem__> ((mouse?)
<Alcar> ((house..heh))
<Bart-S> ((Two story mouse?!? this post war apocolipse just got to weird))
<Bart-S> ((wonder if it has a basement))

<Bart-S> (oh alright. sheesh, whats a little virus between friends)

* AvangionQ looking for a character without a kit and that doesn't use psi ... character not found ... oh well
* AvangionQ guess I'm just watching then ...

<Marcus_Fenway> I once had a Level 15 Mage who was hired to rid this city of its Infestation of Kobolods (in this world they are Vastly un organized basically scavengers) Well when I found I couldn't find them much less capture or kill them I got frustrated and Leveled the entire city collected my pay and moved on.

* TanisQ follow the party & search for traps as well (80% - my highest skill)

<Topaz`> "Ah, I see. Well shall we go lads?" *looking to the rest*
* Wren_Sheval wonders how someone, even a dwarf, could mistake her for a lad

* Wren_Sheval heads north, wondering why all DMs have the dangerous regions to the north
<Alcar> (so pcs don't get lost finding their way there)

<Alcar> ok, have you planned your dragon killing ideas?
<Wren_Sheval> we will come, we will see, we will get toasted

<Topaz`> yes we have to blind him
<Nigel`^> "How doyou do that?"
<Topaz`> "hmm, maybe throw these things at his eye, jump on his eyes and stab at it, or just roll a big rock and maybe we'll hit his head"

<Nigel`^> "Mabey he's just sick and needs our help.."
<Topaz`> "And I suppose the thousands of humans he's eaten were a prescription by his doctor eh?"

<Wren_Sheval> "The dragon's dead."
<Nigel`^> "How'd it die? did you choke it?"
<Wren_Sheval> "Old Age."

* Topaz` walks over and pats his head "Ack, I guess all those adventurers really tired em out eh?"
<Wren_Sheval> "naw, they just made it so he didn't have to go out to eat."

<Wren_Sheval> I'm the DM, don't send anything, keep you sheet, if I need information you'll be the third to know

<Zandir> "Thouhht I saw something . .too far away to make it out . ." points out the form to the others
* Wren_Sheval peers at it and get's disconnected

<Wren_Sheval> as you approach the ravine you can see 6 elves in it.. 3 of them wounded
* Zandir looks for whats wounding them
<Wren_Sheval> (sparkie is inflicting the wounds)
<Chaos`^> (( crappy little shots ))

<``Seraph``> ((hmmm.... DM.. Dungeon master, masculine form.. feminine form... Dungeon Mistress? sounds too kinky))

<Kimmey`> The merchant's guild was your last employer, they wanted you to get the book, and chase off the thievs. it turned into a massacre because of bad info from the guild.
<Tokan`> how bad a massacre?
<``Seraph``> (tokan tried to determine good from evil, philisophically, and ended up killing everyone with hair)

* ``Seraph`` apologizes to the DM in advance for every other line said during this game

<Kimmey`> <<the book grew almost two legs first. the lemmings came later>>

* Tokan takes his pet rock and keeps going
<Banthinatiam> ((an intelligent conversation with or a purely onesided...that one side being the rock??))
* Tokan` pets his rock, whispering sweet nothigns to it :)
<``Seraph``> ((He can whisper anything else?))

<Samon`^> (( so we only got like 2 intellagent life forms in the whole group? ))

* Yol_Tura (( gets away from the evil goddess with charm spells galore and detect evil.. what kind of evil goddess would have detect evil?? ))

<Salem_> "may the dead have no pity on your bones"
<CopperLeaf> "bah.. the dead.. what have they ever done for me?

* CopperLeaf slaps sythil on the ass.. thanks for that.. now let's get gold!
<Sythil> (( is copperleaf TRYING to get killed? ))

<Chaos`^> copperleaf is being disgusting and won't get ressed by sythil next time he dies
<CopperLeaf> im usually not this annoying.. i'm in a weird mood cause i ate too many brownies.

<Vargenion> and now with the addition of this "Shirley Temple goddess of evil" it will become very interesting :)
<Tolk> an evil goddess w/ detect evil is strange enough by itself
<Baliadoc> maybe she's just a bad judge of character, and doesn't want to wind up trying to get paladins to join her :)

<WarnerDM> Emma holds up one finger and you find your self staring back depsite your self. It all feels very dramatic and potent until she says, "Do me"
* Reawen stares at Emma "In public? with men watch -- oh, you mean a fortune! Uh, now?"
<KaosNeophyte> ((hmm..a kinky psychic slut.....go figure))

<Robert``> (( ok thats like the umpteenth time someone has made a Kermit reference! give it a REST! ))
<KaosNeophyte> ((Hello there....this is Kermit D Frog))
* Robert`` bops KaosNeophyte with Miss Piggy
<Bob_the_Monkey> ((Close cousin of Robert`` D Bullywug....))
<KaosNeophyte> ((AHHH.....MORE BEASTIALITY....))

* Bob_the_Monkey visits the crewmember in the crowsnest
* Bob_the_Monkey chitters saliva-filled nothings into the crewmember's ear

<Montgomery> "How're you feeling?"
<``Kyla> Suspiciously enough, like I've been shot.
<Montgomery> "Good. If you were feelng like a giraffe, then I'd worry."
<``Kyla> You make me laugh again, and I'll kick your ass

<Bob_the_Monkey> ((never, under any circumstance, name your spelljammer the'Heart of Gold'))

<WarnerDM> soon the longboat is lashed to the Gemini Magica again. The first mate reports to the Captain, "She's cripled and adrift sir, one crewman, He wants us to take him in tow"
<WarnerDM> "Very well, We'll inform him what Gel charges for that service once he's safely on board and feeling better :)
<Bob_the_Monkey> ((sure, cure him, THEN make him sick))

* Bob_the_Monkey doesn't know what all the grinning is about, but he notices a glinting thing hanging from a crewman's pocket and goed to liberate, err, investigate it

<WarnerDM> As the ship is tied off Troy is brought abord. Gel puts on a warm smile as he goes to talk to him. The crew makes the same face men do when taking a dog in to have its nuts cut off

<Gelhalee> salem, if you take it and it turns into the wish granting trueth telling pain I think it will I swear I'll drop you off the first cliff we come to.

* Gelhalee climbs into the hammok and digs up some books on these kinds of entities that make life miserable thru wishes and lawyer like interpetations

<Gelhalee> "They work every thing to their own ends pretending to do it for us. I've already seen how it turned Brak into a slave."
<Gelhalee> "Innocent or not, even the guilty don't deserve this"
<Gelhalee> "And gods help me I'll put a stop to this if I have to chop Braks head off"

* Gelhalee gets out some wax from is pouch of material components
<Gelhalee> "Hold still" Gel jams the wax into Braks ears gently but firmly
* Gelhalee hands him a book to read. a nice simple amusing one with out any mention of wishes in it
* Snake`- (looks at the title top 100 wishes of the 20th centory) (gets the fealing its going to be a fucked up life)

* Gelhalee stands behind Brak "Can you here me brak?"
<AlcarDM> Brak doesn't react to gel's voice
<Gelhalee> hear me that is, god if typos count against me when I wish I'm dead meat
<Snake`-> (so much for gel)

<Salem_> "so- you don't feel happy?"
* Gelhalee wonders why salem thinks all LG people are happy
* Sannin is lg and he is not happy

<Sannin> "of course im right"
<Sannin> "im me"

<Sannin> "oh brak dont grant me a wish unless i say 'I' and then i say Wish right after it"
<Sannin> "just to make it clear"
<AlcarDM> ((hehem smart idea sannin :)))
<Reeve``> ((of course, if he comes into contact with some fearsome monster, he'll have to make sure not to say "I wish i was never born." :))

<Sannin> "yea can i have a big dick" Just Kidding
<AlcarDM> Sannin gets his own private eye, on commission, called Dick Tracy :p

<Leech_Wilcomes> were-pinguin in half form would be a man in a suit that he cant remove

<Sintaqx> were ostrich
<Alcar> oh, were ostrich with magic. Invisibility spell somatic component: Stick head in sand

<Leech_Wilcomes> were rock.. you look normal but have ac 0 and are so apathetic you dont move untill the moon changes back

<Bart-S> Bart's CPU has rebooted at the mention of windows as part of a old robotic defence mecinizim against it :)

<Riker``> good god, you really are setting me up to become Jesus!

<Rhanna> eating roomservice
<Leech_Wilcomes> (eating THE roomservice or eating the food from roomservice?)
<Rh|anna> <<not the employee the meal thwarpt>>

<Fronkenshteen> I make up arbitrary rules and roles quite often for no apparent reason
<BlueSkull> ((I make my charictors the same way :))

<Fronkenshteen> Rimol you don't have to accept this but here's an idea
<Fronkenshteen> Rimol transforms halfway back into lomir and becomes a Fighter/Mage split class permanently and his schizofrenic curse is broken
<Rimol> But then the pc would be . . *chokes* normal!
<Fronkenshteen> OH MY GOD a halfway normal PC, on line players just hate those!

* Salisha pulls 2 sets of armor from the crushed box
<Edward_Payne> ((humm pressed armor?))

<Sparkie> Wild magic effect 0243 is: Candles are automatically snuffed in the caster's presence
<Lomir> cool!
* Lomir is now an auto candle snuffer :)
<Gargantus> (i would hate to run into a level 10 wild mage)

<Gargantus> (or just dig up all the pumpkins!)
<Fronkenshteen> Now where can you do that?
<Gargantus> (in the grave yard duh)
<Fronkenshteen> mmmm noo
<Fronkenshteen> good guess though
<Gargantus> (i wanna dig in the grave yard any way)

<BlueSkull> ((Your game is importaint to us. Please hold for the first avalable DM)

<Fronkenshteen> (your game will be processed in the order in which it was recieved)

<BlueSkull> (The nick blackskull is taken so I can't let you blow me up :)

<Gargantus> "lomer whats up there?¿"
<Lomir> "Death!"
<Lomir> "It blasted a curse at us .. you're going to lose your hair again!"
<Lomir> ((works for when the illusion wears off ;)))
<BlueSkull> ((LOL))
<BlueSkull> "I'm going bald already!" Skull says barely able to keep from laughing it out
* BlueSkull snickers under his breath, "Lich defends self with male patern baldness spell" Riiiight
* Lomir mutters back "Oh, shut up!"

<Fronkenshteen> No Garg, you cant kill this thing
<Fronkenshteen> He can swallow your soul
<Gargantus> (so i dont need a soul......i need gold!)

<BlueSkull> munchkin vs demi god, my money is on the munchkin every time :)

* Alecdranel points out the BIG demons are immune to psi entirely :)
<Salisha> a tleaast the telepathic powers... not many things are immune to having a 300 lb hunk of mettal come crashing through your skull

* ^Dusk^ goes into her room and locks the door
<Jarra`> (( oh yes, that is definately the act of an evil super-power! She didnt even say good night! HEHEHEHE! ))

<Ross_Morgan> I will not break the laws of physics.

<Sintaqx> "I don't have a split personality, we think"

<Sintaqx> you know... the end of the world is quite some time away from us... I know that because I don't have enough money for the army yet

<Riker``> "You have a knack for disbelieving the possible, don't you Burke?"
<Alcar> Burke: "What do you . .mean?"
<Riker``> "Well, it just happened."

<Rike|Monty> "Ship, execute commands. Open My Computer, open Control Panel, open Network Options."
<The_Vertical_Horizon> (lol)
* Rike|Monty the only way to beat your enemy is to KNOW your enemy ;)

* Faline` starts to make to get up, but is stopped by the other girls at her table who insist that doing anything to agree with Salem is bad for her image

<Simon```> Big Jim glares at Opie "I don like you!"
<Opie_the_Janitor> "Just so long as we understand each other"
<Simon```> Big Jim stops, frowning and givs Open a confused lok "Under - stand?"
* Opie_the_Janitor turns sharply whaping big jim in the head with the top of the wet mop

<Opie_the_Janitor> (I'm a mutaint janitor in a roleplaying game. Ofcorse I'm deadly with a mop! :)

<Simon```> Opie sees a giant man wolf thing leaps from where that kid fell, sailing through the air, past Big Jim and into some tables
* Opie_the_Janitor sighs and goes to vacume up the wolf hair

* Opie_the_Janitor wispers something about a car out side that looks remarably like big jims that would be a shame if he had do dump the garbage in since the dumpster is full
<Simon```> Big Jim stops and gives Opie_the_Janitor a puzzled Look "Not . . my . . .car."
<Opie_the_Janitor> "Is that your car? oh well thats ok then. I only care about cars that belong to people who can behave"

<Simon```> There is a choked sound from the cafeteria entrance as the teacher who was suppossed to be on duty runs out off the room, screaming and locking it behind her "Demons! Wolves! The janitor is nuts! Help!"
<Opie_the_Janitor> "What did she say about my nuts?"

<Simon```> one of Faline's clique follows faline to try and comfort her, looking confused
Faline` is sitting against the wall of the hallway sobbing about a tiger in a lake
<Simon```> member: "Its ok, the police are here Faline . .You ok?" She reaches for the kitten Failine is holding rather tightly "You're hurting the kitty!"
* Faline` looks up suddenly ather, no longer crying..in fact no longer human either. She suddenly leaps to her feet snarling and still holding the kitten
<Simon```> The clique member ignores Mustafa as some artsy freak and looks at Faline then screams
<Simon```> "Oh my god! It's just like in the cat woman movie! This is so COOOL!"
* Faline` starts to back away from everyone then turns and breaks into an all out run, dashing into a classroom

<Mustafa> ¨WEREWOLF!
* Mustafa pulls out a dagger
<Mustafa> ¨This is pure silver, so stay back!"
* Simon``` growls in puzzlement, looking at Mustafa and waggigng his tail

* Faline` looks over at Hal_5000 and snarls, then swipes at him with a claw, still holding the kitten in the other
* Hal_5000 looks at himself then up at faline hey dont touch my pixles

* Faline` grabs the cross her mother keeps hanging on the kitchen wall and holds onto it like its a rope and she was currently dangling over a pit full of aligators. Or insurance salesmen :)

<Simon```> "I . .I flew through the windows and i'm not dead?" looks scared "What am i?"
* Faline` puts her hand on the phone "I told oyu, you're a werewolf!"
<Hal_5000> hey faline if you can prove that you can get a good science project going too
<Faline`> "Shut up! Shut up! SHut up!!"
<Hal_5000> you could even get in a good college with some help

* Faline` realizes with a start they left the oven on but doesnt say anything about it
<Faline`> (( dont you dare burn down our apartment dm or ill be pissed hehe. my stuff's still in htere :) ))

<Faline`> hehe of course i should proabably be lawful good not chaotic good..but then again Christianity is really more about just being good so its ok :)

<Alcar> the vampire in daylight was just fun :)
<Caltak> was he using sunblock? hehe

<Caltak> you know, writing a book is kinda like Dming a game, but with no players. everyones an NPC ;)

<Hal_5000> hey faline if your moving and not going back to school does that mean I am stolen property now?

* Marneus shouts "hey! HEY! can't you see she has that old woman with her? you don't have to -- " giving up as the guards get further away, he then chases after
<Faline`> (( old woman??!?!! thats my mom! ))

<Catbert-> i crawl back on salems head
* _Salem_ hopes that the cat is potty trained

<Faline`> those vampire bastards..whyd they have to claim America? Why not Russia, or Iraq, or Wherever Transylvania is ;P
<Simon```> Land of Opportunity :)
<Faline`> bastards.
* Faline` tries to picture the statue of Liberty wiht vampire fangs...

<Faline`> so im curious..where exaclty am I?
<Simon```> in the pantry eating the tomorrow mornings wedding feast ;)
<Faline`> and im sure though I didnt eat of it, I probably uterly destroyed the cake :)
* Faline` decides since its upstairs its notmuch of a threat at the moment, and still being hungry..looks for something nice and meatty to eat ;)
<Simon```> The cook, sneaking down for some food, sees a large tiger coverered in frosting going past him. Though it doesn't matter to the game, he quits drinkings, drungs, joins a monastery and eventually writes many famous treatises on the subject that perception is a lie.

<Faline`> (( whats the best way to get a weretiger drunk? Lace her drinks with catnip :) ))

<Salem_> evil vamp + salem= bad B movie "night of the living dead"

<Cecil`^> "Are you all on a field trip?" (( are most of these but 1 kids? ))
<Salem_> "yea- extra credit "survive untill dusk"

<Faline`> its gonna be cool..her eyes glow red when shes doing lycanthrope stuff, blue when its cleric stuf..maybe green when this Nature Sight stuff starts happening? (lol, she's got Christmas light eyes ;P)

* Danric ten ravens blink in surprise. If a guy named Jer was around right now, he'd probably go homicidal :)

* Faline` 's eyes glow red brighter than a flashlight
<Danric> (not hard to do, flashlights don't glow bright red :))
<Faline`> (( no I mean its red, and brighter than a flashlight :P ))

* Simon``` moves over to the driver's side, looking like a whipped dog and manages to meet Faline's gaze "I - I'm sorry. I ate your mom."
<Faline`> "That's ok, I dont blame you."

<Simon```> * Simon``` turns bright red and starts when Cecil asks that, guilt written all over his face "I ate her."
<Simon```> was said also :)
<Cecil`^> ^ that one?
<Simon```> yup
<Cecil`^> I thought that was a typo!
<Cecil`^> I thought he said hate! =)

<Faline`> you have to admit though..some of these things are getting kind of scooby-doo ish :)
<Simon```> how so? :)
<Faline`> I dont know..just i keep getting reminded ofit for some reason..maybe the fact we have a band of kids going around in a van, one of which happens to be a dog, and one of which happens to be a "preppy girl" and we come up to a secluded town with a worn off sign, and there are vampires :P

<Danric> hehe, ah well, it's just one of those weird coincidences. this is most definitely not an episode of scooby-doo, though :)
<Simon```> oh, why not? :p
<Danric> lol, well, there are only a few small differences :)
<Danric> for once, viscious, deadly vampires
<Danric> and usually, the gang doesn't fail at doing something as much as I do ;)

* Cecil`^ puts his arm around danric
<Cecil`^> "I am truly sorry, please forgive me."
<Danric> "Now you're getting all touchy feely on me? Man, chill, alright? What's my forgiveness going to matter to you, in the end? It's your guilt."
* Cecil`^ smiles
<Cecil`^> "I have learned to ignore guilt.. I just thought it would be beter for you"

<Caltak> um...like I said...invis to Undead in Necromantic, so you still gonna give it to me ?
<Alcar> yup, in this case
<Caltak> ok :)
<Caltak> cause as we must remeber:
<Caltak> God has much more sphere Access then he lets on to his Clerics :P

<Baliadoc> i'm glad i didn't be a fighter/thief. that'd look really bad on my resume
* Baliadoc Name: Danric. Fighting Ability: The suck.

* Faline` never was a cheerleader..she was too busy to try out :P

* Faline` casts Protection from Lag 10' Radius on Sparkie..no wait, even the power of God can't defeat lag ;P

* Faline` thinsk to herself "Well..under certain sircumstances its ok,...."
* Faline` then thinks to herself "THou SHalt Not Steal."
* Faline` then thinks to her self "Oh shut up...both of you!"

* Faline` looks around..and for the saek of rp lets say she doesnt remember which way town is :)

<Danric> "You guys have just been sitting here, and there's a young girl in a forest somewhere, who went chasing after some guy!?"
<Marneus> "I just bought $125 worth of silver, garlic, and wooden stakes"

Faline` thinks that would make a cool bumper sticker..."Were Happens."

<Keith`> toss me on stage as a side show act
<Caltak> hell, if we really needed money we could all do it ;) Come see the amazing raven boy! Gawk at the Hawk Boy! See the amazing girl who can raise people from the dead! Watch in awe as the amazing GOlden Retreiver boy rips door off of ohter peoples cars! Thrill at t
<Caltak> oh yeah and dont forget the boy who think hes in a Shakespearean play and who lives in a pouch ;P

<Danric> "You probably think i'm a moron in combat, don't you?"
<Simon```> "I missed too . ."
<Danric> "Hmm.. good point. But don't worry, my horoscope says people think I'm stupid, so I'll work hard to improve!"
<Faline`> (( watch, he tries to kill himself, Sparkie rolls him a 1, which is the equivalent of a critical hit to one of the opponents since he was aiming for himself :P ))

<Danric> "Why stop? We don't know if he wants to pull us over, he could just be suspicious of a bunch of kids in a car."
<Faline`> "Why? Im 17, I have my license."
<Salem_> "it should be revoked"
<Danric> "You're 17. You're a teenager. You're rowdy. Should I keep putting the pieces together?"

<Sintaqx> Simon``` is running a game right now. Shhh :)
<Sintaqx> This is an auto-message, please don't reply to it.
<Sintaqx> What if I want to immitate all the morons on IRC and reply to this automated message???

<Faline`> "We still don't know what we're going to do."
<Danric> "Good. Then don't worry about it until we do."
* Faline` glares at Danric in obvious dislike and exasperation.
* Danric is already looking at Faline like she's going to die of stroke within days :)

<Danric> "HOLY SHIT!"
* Faline` almost jumps out of her seat
<Faline`> "What's wrong??"
<Danric> "Madonna's new baby is an illegitimate Alien baby!!"
<Faline`> "What?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE YELLING ABOUT??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!! I thought it was something SERIOUS!"
* Danric proceeds to read the article to Simon and Faline :)
<Danric> "Hey! This is serious! I didn't know she was cheating on her boyfriend!"
* Faline` sighs in exasperation and looks like she has a migraine headache

* Vaj waits for Cecil to climb in and then flips a sparkie and roars off down the road towards the van
* Cecil`^ hangs onto the oh-shit handles as vaj forgets that he's pushing the gas again
<Vaj> Cecil is leaving 3 marks in the seat.... 2 markes at the sides of the seat and one in the middle of the seat
<Vaj> one from each hand... and one from grabbing the seat with your ass

<Salem_> Cecil- we Need a Lift!
* Salem_ climbs in
<Salem_> Lets go go go- speed racer!
* Vaj grins as Salem has no idea of the accuracy of that remark
* Cecil`^ frowns as salem has no idea of the acuracy of that remark

* Vaj drives to the inn
* Vaj wonders what would happen if he pushed the big pedal ALL the way down
* Cecil`^ grabs the oh-shit handles again
* Vaj tests his hypothosis... and punches the gas
<Cecil`^> "ohshitohshitohshit"
<Salem_> Wheeeeee
* Vaj stops as he reaches the inn 10 seconds later

<Vaj> "I need to find a bodyshop... they have an apb out on the car, and they want me dead or alive."
* Cecil`^ looks over at vaj
<Cecil`^> "you too?"

* Rei`- pops up out from behind a fence
<Rei`-> "i brough your little friend along"
* Faline` looks startled
<Faline`> "Oh..it's you Rei! Jesus, you scared me!"
* Faline` takes the kitten from him (assuming thats who he meant ;P)
<Rei`-> (yep)

<Rei`-> (god what are we a gang of 7-11 theives)

* Danric speeds off towards the hotel, in such a way that he times it so we can come back in at a DM appointed time :)
<Danric> Baliadoc: Saving Alcars remaining sanity one shred at a time :)

<Rei`-> (like any one is going to put out an APB on a half tiger)
<Faline`> (( vamps would :P ))
<Rei`-> (oh well gotta eat)
<Faline`> (( or they might put an APB out of someone in a tiger costume :) ))

<Faline`> "Dammit, we both fell asleep, we're just lucky no one saw us..."
<Faline`> "Well, on the bright side, no criminal in his right mind would try to steal something from a sleeping tiger."
<Rei`-> "we are lucky the zoo didn't come along"
<Rei`-> (oh crap gave alcar an idea)

<Caltak> well ya know, half the bad shit..no I take it back..ALL the badd shit thats happened so far was either triggered by or outright commited by one of the other characters in the party.

<Robert`> wow, why in all the games lately have we been having these really weird discussions? ;P rofl
<Robert`> first it was were-hawks and were-tigers, then were-tigers and were-tigers, now Drug addict street girls and Bullywugs ;P roflmao

<WarnerDM> ok then, unless some one is up to something tonight the rest of the night passes with out incident, cept for some things the DM might tell you about later :)

* Robert` has some werid dream about a swamp somewhere, but its a dream he will forget before he wakes up, so it is in no way relevant to the game ;)

<WarnerDM> they are amonge Gel's most valued possesions so handle with care :)
<Robert`> thats kinda sad :)
<WarnerDM> sad? you have any idea how usefull those are to some one who essecually owns an oversized RV? :)
<Robert`> no, I can see that, but i mean...christ man!
Editors note: The otyugh strike again :)

<WarnerDM> hehe, you wanted a PC that did all the dirty jobs. you got it :)
<WarnerDM> They like it when you braid their hair after you comb it :)
<Robert`> (( oh my god... ))
<WarnerDM> keeps the maggots out a little longer
<Robert`> (( someting tells me I should heave learned more about Gel's Ship before I made my character ;P ))
<WarnerDM> hey your a frog. you should love maggots :)

<WarnerDM> BTW, you enter their rooms the same way what you feed them does :)
<Robert`> (( oh. my. GOD! ))
<WarnerDM> so get a rope you don't plan to use again very soon :)
<Robert`> (( yeah I was about to ask how you would get out then :P ))

<WarnerDM> Soon you arive at the first privy. Starboard side, these connect to the kitchen and a rest room ajoining it.
<Reawen> "Isn't this the . .bathroom?"
* Robert` nods, and ties the rope to something secure :P
<WarnerDM> The rafters service as something to tie the rope to redily
<Robert`> (( wouldnt wanna get stuck down there, after all :P ))
<WarnerDM> ((For some reason every building constructed in RPG's has rafters in it))
* Robert` makes double sure the rope is secure

* Robert` flashes a grin at Robert` and heads down the privy :P
<Robert`> (( or Reawen rather ))
<Robert`> (( mistab ))
<WarnerDM> ((should never let PC's into games with nicks that start with the same letter :)

<WarnerDM> Robert is done collecting the trash. however, no one has groomed the beast yet :)
<WarnerDM> *I'm glad to hear it dear. Don't let old Emma get you down while your here. She is like that to every one at first. In time she'll be one of your dearest friends*
* Robert` grins at Samantha as he hands Reawen a brush
* Reawen nods, reminds herself its bards duty to learn and brushes Samantha
<WarnerDM> ((Nothing quiet like cultivating a friendly relationship with one's toilet))
<WarnerDM> louses, maggots, and other assorted sorcces of high proteen come away from the hair with the brushing. Samantha Coo's apreciatively

<Robert`> "So how've you been lately, Sam?"
<WarnerDM> *Oh I can't complain. The 1st mates been having disintary. So that was a nice change of pace*

<WarnerDM> *Now run along dears. Much as I love the company Petra will kill me if she finds out i've been keeping you when she's next*
<Robert`> "I'll try to come back a little sooner next time. Sorry about being away so long, I was just a little busy."
<WarnerDM> *Your always welcome here Robert`. We've almost come to think of you as the son we've never had*

<Robert`>" Otyughs are so disgusting that no alchemist or wizard would want to touch their components, so the corpses of the gulguthra have no known use or value."
<Robert`> weould probably make a good component for a really really strong spell that makes some kind of incapacitating gas :P
<Robert`> hehe but im sure the mage who develops it wold NOT want their name on it :P
<Reawen> Gel would :)
<Robert`> true
<Robert`> but then again why would he make a spell that uses dead otyugh parts? :P
<Reawen> do you WANT to know? Its gel . .there'll be a profit in it somewhere :)

<Robert`> (( hehe hey Warner, I just realized those two locked chests Robert has down in his stash are probably just full of odds and ends he got this way ;P ))
<Robert`> (( man, I designed Robert to be a guy with a pitiful life..but not this pitiful, geez ;P ))
<Robert`> (( "No respect I tells ya, no respect at all" ;P (well except from the otyughs :) ) ))

<WarnerDM> oh boy ok let me type up what you've won
<Robert`> (( man people need to be more careful with what they drop down the can :P ))
<WarnerDM> you have found: Paper, Bird Feather, Charcoal, Pig??, 2d6 purple stones, Chalk, Whistle, Useful Map, Useful Map, Bird Feather, Bird Feather,
<Robert`> (( purple stones? like gems you mean? ;P ))
<WarnerDM> no, just purple stones :)
<WarnerDM> wish I knew what a pigs system shock was. would like to know if this one was dead :)

<Robert`> (( and what do you mean "Useful Map?" ))
<WarnerDM> I'm not sure what to do with the usefull maps yet. I will honor them if you give me time to think of something. If you want them now then one is a usefull map of Gel's ship and the other one is a map of the universe with a humorous little note that says "You are here"
<Robert`> (( uh, ill let you think about it first then ;) ))

<Reawen> << after the otyugh, a lich would be anti climatic :) >>
<WarnerDM> otyugh trainer lich :)
<WarnerDM> "Up simba!"

* Robert` leads the way to the privvy that leads to the other Otyugh
* Reawen looks down . . "You first."
* Robert` fastens the rope "As long as you dont fall on me again this time."
<Reawen> "Dont worry, I dont plan to."
* Reawen waits until Robert is half down, then takes her dagger and cuts the rope
* Reawen smiles and whistles to herself, waiting for him to come back up
<Robert`> (( lol. bitch. ))
<Reawen> << Revenge :) >>

<WarnerDM> *I could adjust her* Petra wispers into Robert`s mind
<Robert`> "Uh..no, thats ok Petra...actually..on second thought I might consider it."
* Reawen begins composing a song about frogs in the privy
<Reawen> "The smell goes ever, ever on / down from the privy where it began / now far ahead those who smell you have gone/ and you must wander as you can / persuing it with weary feet / until it joins some larger way / where many stenches and ugly's meet / and wither then? I can not say . . "
* Robert` whispers "Actually Petra? sure. Just dont go too hard on her."

<WarnerDM> Reawen is uncerimonously draged kicking and squirming into the privy. Once down there she is held up to a wall and told flatly, "You be nice to Robert` if you ever want to be able to have a moments peice on this trip. And I don't just mean when you need to relive your self*
<Reawen> *augh* *cough* *scream!*
<WarnerDM> *What is wrong with her? She should be cowering not gagging* to Robert`
<Robert`> "Oh uh...she um..."
* Robert` tries to explain without telling the Otyugh she stinks ;P
<Robert`> "Uh, she has allergies to something down here I suppose."

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