<Gaty`^> "Why are we going to the plane of fire?"
<Krysylyn> "To get the testicles of a fire elemental."
<Vestranda> (( You're actually serious?! ))
* Sparkie votes we adjourn the game now . .
<Jeramias> Ok Spark. Session End. Sucking up to the dicebot. 250 exp
* Gaty`^ cringes feeling sorry for the elemental

<Jeramias> A woman walks out of the woods
* Gaty`^ looks at the woman
<Gaty`^> "Oh, hello."
* Krysylyn casts detect magic... though it's probably unnessecary
<Krysylyn> "Can't you just imagine her taking her clothes off for you?"
<Jeramias> She stands and removes her clothing
<Krysylyn> "And can't you imagine those flamable feathers touching the fire and igniting her entire back?"
<Jeramias> She lights on fire
<Gaty`^> "Eeeek!"
<Gaty`^> "NO! Stop it! Help her!"
<Krysylyn> "Welcome to the world of illusions."

* Gaty`^ runs over to her and helps her put the fire out
<Jeramias> K, you help her put out the fire on her back
<Jeramias> She looks at you, thanks you, and gives you a hug
* Gaty`^ imagines the burns gone
<Jeramias> The burns are gone
* Krysylyn silently imagines her with 6 arms and a long serpentine tail
<Jeramias> The woman walks over to the fire while sprouting an extra 4 arms and a tail
* Gaty`^ imagines her to normal
* Krysylyn imagines heras a halfling version of a marilith
* Gaty`^ imagines Krysylyn as a nice person

* Gaty`^ imagines her as a normal person that can't be changed by anyone's imagination
* Gaty`^ has his familiar too, an illusion that he can sustain indefinatly... we hope...
<Jeramias> What do you want your famailliar to be? :)
<Gaty`^> This woman here =)

<Vestranda> "Can you aid me?"
<Jeramias> "Where were you? You stoped talking for 30 min and expect to just pick up the prayer where you left off?" j/k
<Jeramias> "Perhaps. What kind of aid do you seek?"
<Vestranda> "I do not .. to stop what might come. To prevent undead?"
<Jeramias> "Undead? Is this one of Alcar's games? No, I don't think that the world will be crawling with undead."
<Jeramias> I'm only kidding. I do like the undead much more than what you could be throwing at us
<Jeramias> Like kender
<Vestranda> Undead Kender
<Jeramias> NOOO!!!!!!!

<Krysylyn> that is frightening
<Krysylyn> chaos 'll have to work hard to top that in the evilness scale
<Vestranda> undead that rob people blind are going to be fun . . .
<Vestranda> kender that dont feel fear OR pain :)
* Krysylyn feels both for the players

<Salem_> "great... wonderful.....faline is gona .... well bring on the end of the world... eh, oh well at least i don't have to worry about finals

* Salem_ looks at tommy-there is no such place- war is like ripples in a pond- eventuly it affects the whole
<Sintaqx> ((so move above or below the water))
<Sintaqx> ((waves are circular in depth.. bellow them it is still calm))
<Salem_> end even then- the stone is still in the pond
<Salem_> once its tossed.. it starts the chain reaction
<Sintaqx> ((ah, but a stone at rest has a greater chance of staying there.. especially if burried inn the muck))

* Salem_ moves slowly and kisses his cheeck chastly.. i offer my friendship, and understanding, and the pure simple need for companionship
* Tommy``` stares at you, for a moment the anger be felt at Faline looking directed at you then he turns way "Come."
* Salem_ looks hurt.... wondering how do you deal with immortal beings
<Sintaqx> ((kick'em 'tween the legs))

<Tommy```> The exit flickers and you see an image of rolling hills, trees and animals; summer sunshime and warmth beckoning you into her land
* Tommy``` looks at you for a moment, as if about to say something, then steps through. And vanishes.
<Salem_> great... so death is not welcomed here.. wonderful and glenda just poofed! HEY! do i even get a toto!!

<Cecil`^> (( Try being called St.George when you're a dragon ))

<Cecil`^> (( I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the onion that makes your breath smell bad, I am the beans that give you gas, I... Think I need a bath... ))

* Gleep` sits down on his hind honches and looks about as much like a dog begging as a 2foot tall green dragon can

<Alcar> were kender would be the best
<Alcar> every full moon you become a kender and . .
<Keith`> that would be pritty fucking loony
<Alcar> esp for a paladin :)
<Keith`> wake up in the morning and find your pack is stuffed full of every thing the party owns pluss some
<Alcar> Yeah, have to do around and return it all "I, uh, found it . ."
<Keith`> set up a shop that is labed lost and found
<Pan`Ku> you just invented a new race for my world

<GodsMaster> amy:"hard to say thats what i have the computer looking in to now, that and the studdie of the newly formed system"
<GodsMaster> the gass giant was the planet.. but when it became a star the moon became the planet get the pictur?
<Charin`> "Mankind: Blowing up a bomb to make a better universe."
<GodsMaster> amy:"looks like what life was down there just got whiped off half the planet... and whats left isn't likely to servive the next week with the amount of change the planet its self is going thought"

<Tara-Arrquette> "hmmm so we killed a solar system
<Charin`> "Gotta love progress. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to see if our food rplicated can make anything alcoholic. Get me if the natives decide they're ticked that their new gods decided to let there be light."
* Charin` stalks off to the nice replicator and tries to get it to make something alcoholic ..can it? :)
<Tara-Arrquette> (look it make you aftershave)

<GodsMaster> the pod opens and sure enought its a male of the same race amy is
<GodsMaster> amy shrugs:"why let a good bio sample go to waist"
<GodsMaster> unamed NPC:"Bob I like that"
<Charred> (( You commit murder and I'm a "bio sample?!" ))
<Tara-Arrquette> (she never killed you just re made you)

<Flar> "Ah, English? Yes, my people know of it." Pauses "As a sentient being of the Fraal Commonwealth, I bring you greetings."
<Flar> (( Those earth TV programs had to go somewhere :) ))
<Flar> (( Tho I did read that if aliens are out there they're likely picking up gilligans island right now. Which explains why we haven;t been visited :) ))
<Flar> "Is your skipper onboard? Or . . *frowns* "millionaire? Marriane?"
<Tara-Arrquette> "I am incharge of this ship"
<Tara-Arrquette> "our old leader died due to irreversable cercumstances"

<Flar> "Ah! I see. I am called Flar. Our people saw the moon go off a few thousand years before we expected. Did you pull a gilligan?"
<Tara-Arrquette> "not a gilligan no I don't think so we are just about to head back to earth if you wish to acompany us?"

<GodsMaster> refews to stay if they go back to earth(don't want any nukes showing up)
<GodsMaster> besides you have seen war of the worlds and many other B alian movies
<Flar> showing up in space?
<GodsMaster> yah war of the worlds is older then giligans island
<GodsMaster> humans by out side standards are seen as distructive and primitive apes
<GodsMaster> there was a time when your race used them as ginni pigs and cows as objects for teaching doctors
<Flar> like south park? :)
<GodsMaster> similar

<Alcar> You running the game tonite keith?
<Keith`> umm probubly given i can figur out some thing twisted to do to the players
<Keith`> I KNOW I COULD PUT LUTH IN THE GAME!

* Teebo looks for any bulging pockets nearby
<Garron> The pcs look more wealthy than anyone in the vilage
<Teebo> Rob the PCs, that sounds like a REALLY good idea, but first I think that I'll slit my wrists!

* Jarra scribbles "Breaking magic staffs in half--BAD" on her DO's and DONT's list for survival in the "civilized" world

* Jarra now has the bottle safely away from Yol_Tura
<Garron> k, missed that line. Jarra gets it as Yol_Tura is distracted by the tickling
* Yol_Tura growls
* Jarra runs away from Yol_Tura with it
* Yol_Tura draws his sword
<Yol_Tura> "Ye is against us! Ye shall perish by the ladies name!"
<Kyvan_Lightfoot> "I'm not against us, I'm for our lives!"

* Jarra makes double sure that she is very far from the others, then uncorks it
<Garron> The Genie Appears "I, the Genie of Bottle 124 Appear To You! Speak Your Wishes Or Forever Hold Your Peace!"
* Jarra thinks for a moment to make sure she words this right
<Garron> Don't worry, you wont :)
<Jarra> "I wish that from this moment forward, you will not grant any wishes made by Yol Tura."
<Garron> Genie: "Which one?"
<Jarra> "What?"

<Caltak> overworked dragon mom wants someone to leave an egg with, runs across pc's.. ;)
<Caltak> and the campaign revolves around that :P
<Alcar> and the pcs lose it . .
<Alcar> it hatches and they are bankrupted feeding it . .
<Caltak> naw Wyrmlings are T sized theydont eat much
<Alcar> baby tarrasque
<Caltak> "quick, dunk it in acid and cast Wish!" "but--its so cute.."
<Alcar> "It just drank the acid. Is that a bad thing? Tell me thats not a bad thing .."

<Alcar> Only think I'd change is Stalking Aim . . ANY number of attacks could get really, really muchy
<Ellipseis> that would make sense, I mean, you can't stalk more then a certain amount, then u get into the Assassain's Death Attack ability
<Alcar> Yes. Otherwise a level 1 pc could sit outside the dragons lair for a few hours, stalking, then shoot the dragon right in the eye :)
<Alcar> "Ok, I'm level 1 . . my normal bonus is +5 cause of dex and artack . .1 round is 6 seconds . . thats 10 rounds a 1 minute . .60 minutes in an hour . .3 hours .. ctake 20 on concentration check . . 900 attacks . .. +4500 to hit . .."
<Alcar> "Did I hit the dragon?"
<Ellipseis> "U rolled a 1 and u r now a smoldering pile of ash..."

<Jeramias> Yeah, you can use a shortbow. Basic weapons are anything that does less than d50 damage in my book

<Jeramias> player into PC? Where I play myself? Dear god no! I'm too munchy!

<Bryan__> You are all doing your every day thing, here in the modern world.. you're at work or school or whatever you would be doing at noon...
* Warner is sitting at a computer playing a roleplaying game where his charictor is sitting at a computer playing a roleplaying game where his charictor is ...

<Warner> "People have died in my dreams. Naked and wraped in sarran wrap. But perhapes I have said too much"
* Bryan__ gives warner a look...
* Warner looks back at Bryan and shrugs, "Puberty can do funny things"

* CursedSquirrel looks at the dragon"chitter" [don't even think about lunch lizard lips , i'll gnaw your face off]
<Mike``> "What in the hell? I've never been a lizard in my dreams before..." *pinches self* "HOLY SHIT! I FELT THAT!!!"
* CursedSquirrel pinches mike "chitter " [i didn't feel a thing}

<Warner> "Acording to our tracks we really did just apear here. I had figured we were druged or drunk or something"
* Mike`` looks at Warner. "SInce when do drugs cause you to change into a dragon?!?"
<Warner> me looks at mike, "Havn't done many drugs have you?" :)

<Breann__> Warner: no signs of civilization that you can tell, not even a beer bottle lays around anywhere...
<Josh``> (( beer bottles are a sign of civilisation? I find that depressing .. ))
<Breann__> (( I know.. ))
<Breann__> (( But it's true.. ))

<Arcanine> I know how to tear/cut things with myteeth and claws, and to make intense heat balls with my emerald but.. what's a knife and fire?

<Breann__> "I'm a f-freaking deamon! I steal souls for sex! How does that sound?"
<`Julie`> sounds like a wet dream
<Josh``> "Sounds like bill clinton . ."
<Breann__> "What happens in my dreams is my own buissness!"

<Mike``> "Yeah probably not, this would be weird and boring if you tried to play it over IRC."
<Breann__> (( are you trying to say something? ))
<Mike``> (( no ;) ))
<Breann__> (( cause, if you got something to say, say it ))
<Mike``> (( no I'm just rping ;) ))

<Mike``> "Oh come on now, suicide isnt the answer."
<Breann__> "I wasn't talking about that, i was more thinking 'killing spree'"
<Mike``> "I mean, remember Sin's pc who was a succubus? She just swore off sex. Then again, Chaos was a real bastard and made her into a nympho."
* Mike`` gives Breann__ an odd look...then slowly smirks and starts to supress laughter
<Breann__> "What did you just say?"
<Mike``> "WAit a minute..you're not...oh god..." *supressed laughing*
<Mike``> "hehehehe..sorry but..thats just hilarious. Sort of poetic justice too! hahaha..."

<Breann__> "It'd be more poetic if I could eat a god damned cat..."
<[-Glamdring-]> ((Eat lots of kittens... they're good for your skin))

<Breann__> "Julie! where are you going!? there are goblins out there! How do we know the DM isn't evil and is trying to kill us!?"
<`Julie`> fuck the DM
<`Julie`> this is not a game
<Breann__> (( I heard that! ))
<Mike``> "Oh, no, NOW she's done it!"
* Josh`` gets up and follows julie "Well, I think thats better than being with a sex starved succubus?"

<Breann__> "c'mon, you think you can go out there and shit?! C'mon! this isn't right! You could get hurt! this is Real! there might be shit out there worse than me!"
<Breann__> "This isn't a god damned dream!"
<Josh``> "Thats hard to imagine."
* Breann__ glares at Josh
<Breann__> "Why! If I were dming this game, I'd strike you dead!"

<Breann__> A lightning bolt hits infront of julie...
<`Julie`> oh gee- whats next? will it rain cookies??
<Breann__> "I'll be god damned if a cookie falls on my head!"
<Keith`> "never know"
<Breann__> A cookie falls on Josh's head..
<Mike``> "hmm cookies...I'm kinda hungry, actually."
<Mike``> "I never got to finish lunch either."
<Breann__> "no... no... nooooo!!! We're being controlled by a man who's setting at his computer stoned!!"

<Breann__> A Goblin walks out into the campfire light
<Breann__> G: "Hehe you all silly, you funny, I like to kill you now though, I like you clothes, I kill you now."
<Breann__> The goblin runs over infront of Julie
<Breann__> "You go nowhere."
<`Julie`> "ok look- its a FURBY on crack

* `Julie` pulls out her well lazer pen on her key chain
<Breann__> G:"you be quiet"
* Mike`` walks over towards the goblin, looking menacing
<`Julie`> "luke- i'm your land lord...you owe me last week's rent
* `Julie` shines the lazer light in its beady little eyes

<Breann__> "This sucks.. I'm stuck in a womans body... and I steal souls none the less!"
<Breann__> "and every guy thinks I wanna do it with them! and Josh thinks I'm a lesbian!"

<`Julie`> really...well one thing- the "DM" ( uses fingers to make quote marks) won't the the "pcs" leave the dam camp cite
<Breann__> "Maybe he doesn't want a "Split party" those can get hectic you know."
<`Julie`> two... no plot line... whats our goal?
<Brandon``> "The goal seems to simply be to drive us crazy."

Warner> "I don't know about you but I don't feel like eating or draging around an entire dear carcus"
<Breann__> "That's what the dragon's for.."
<Mike``> "I'll eat it, I'm really hungry."
<Brandon``> "I figure the dragon will take care of most of it."
* Brandon`` takes a few choice sections and gives the rest to the dragon

* Warner turns to Julie and says "does my body look like its outlined with a thick line?"
<`Julie`> no- its outlined with a thick mass of ... nevermind
<Warner> "Do I tend to only move in wide shots and only have my lips and some times head move in close ones?"
<`Julie`> well- warner- you not badly animated
<Warner> "well then this isn't a ad&d cartoon is it?" :)

<Warner> "Hi, we were abducted and left for dead in the woods. We could realy use some clothing and shelter. Can we do any chores for you?"
<Josh``> She blinks at Warner "All of you?" and brightens at tyhe mention of doing chores "By all means, come in, come in!"
<`Julie`> "awwh- i don't want to spend the whole time doing chores- maybe i can..um.. battle the envading hordes?

* Alcar is semi-seriously just considering heading to bed . .
<Jeramias> Well, if there's gonna be no verise, I'm just gonna go to bed
<Chaos`^> no god dammit no one go to bed!

<Jeramias> btw, you'd better not have sex with him. I don't want to be known as the sex DM :)
<Ella^`> Actually, I'd be more tempted to kill him and harvest his body for spell components :)
<Jeramias> And if you are incest lesbians, that'll be an experience doc too :P
<Ella^`> doh! We'd loose exp for that?! :)
<Jeramias> The lesbian part is cool. You get exp for that, but incest just sickens me a bit :|
<Ella^`> Oh, come on . .we're identitical twin elves! We're likely so inbred its not even funny :)

<Ella^`> "Oh. Would your men go without you?" looks shocked
<Ela`^> "Yes, would they!?"
<Jeramias> "I don't think so. Would take a day or more to get a new captain."
<Jeramias> "It could ruin our whole raid!" He looks horrified that the DM is dropping such obvious hints ;)

<Purvis> thats sucks. well fyi. I am tired of not being able to play online. so for the past 3 days I have been planning a campaign thats very veristile.
<Purvis> so versitile in fact that characters can show or not show
<Purvis> come and go as they please
<Purvis> and yet still play

* Natalia` is amazed that characters can travel all day, and fight, and still talk until late into the night and wake up at sunrise
<Natalia`> one of those odd things that happen in D&D :)
<Lia`^> well.. elves only need 4 hours of sleep...
<Natalia`> sleeping and eting become secondary... characters would rather spend that time slashing into goblins or the like

<Natalia`> you know.. if the people here played elves right, Lia`^ would be in bed with Wesley_Heartblade and/or Urtho` every night more than likely
<Wesley_Heartblade> Natalia`: I'm a priest, it takes a wee bit longer to get into my pants
<Natalia`> why?
<Natalia`> you're an elf

<Marcus_Fenway> Lia`^ is the only female elf and we are all out of female Dwarves
<Tighax_Stronarm> don't drag me into this
<Marcus_Fenway> Tighax_Stronarm, its a Scientific Experament ¦¬þ
* Urtho` is a 200 or somehtin year old virgin (j/k)

<Natalia`> on elven sexual experimentation: Experimentation with a range of partners is no more or less odd than tasting a dozen berries or following the path of plume-seeds as the wind carries them through the woods, or learnign the names of the animals of the forest.

<Lia`^> "Kids are amazing sorts..."
<Wesley_Heartblade> "they often remind me of short drunk people..always ready to say what's on their mind"

* Natalia` wonders what Urtho` and Wesley_Heartblade would be doing that would make it so the childrens eyes would need to be covered
<Tighax_Stronarm> being present
<Lia`^> you said elves experement...
* Natalia` tells all the dogs to run as fast as they can

* Urtho` wants to get into a tree some
<Natalia`> a tree-some? don't you need a druid for that?

* Natalia` considers telling the children that the elves are evil creatures sent by a dmon to steal children and take them to the abyss
<Urtho`> "bad natalia"
<Koby`> Shh! They dont need to hear the truth that soon
<Lia`^> yeah, they're too young.. they still think we help santa
* Koby` could tell them that human flesh tastes yummy and offer good sauces with it

<Urtho`> god is everyone trieing to scare the towns folk to death "has anyone sean any undead, or heard roomers.
<Lia`^> yes
<Urtho`> *sigh*

<Koby`> Lia gets a crossbow bolt shot through her chest by the fellow on the other side who's tired of door to door salespeople . .
<Lia`^> stop giving him ideas
<Marcus_Fenway> Acctually I was going to have the Door Explode since she didn't check for traps fist :)
<Lia`^> i knocked on the freaking door of an inn!
<Lia`^> who the hell would trap an inn door!?
<Marcus_Fenway> Thieves, Necromancers, Nimih, Me :)

* Lia`^ mumbles to herself "Fuck this." and tries to kick down the first door she knocked on
* Lia`^ kicks the door "Room service!"
<Lia`^> now it can explode
<Marcus_Fenway> Lia, you Fall 5 feet to the ground, The Inn is an Illusion, a incomplete Illusion too

<Marcus_Fenway> Ok, Koby finds himself, and Natalia finds koby... Wesley discovers puberty and Lia discoveres she likes girls
<Lia`^> we waisted our time for that?

* Cora_Resc contemplates how beliveable a 'Killed while trying to escape' plan would work when she describes the nature of Lia's death
* Lia`^ wonders why a paladin would be thinking such thoughts, not even Nimih thought that way
* Cora_Resc shrugs off the thought and resumes the mission at hand
* Cora_Resc wonders how Lia`^ can read her mind
* Lia`^ wonders how cora could read HER mind
* Urtho` wonders when they will shut up

<Natalia`> I should go in 15 mins
<Marcus_Fenway> I got to go
<Wesley_Heartblade> and I'm just starting to understand what's going on!!!
<Wesley_Heartblade> I can actually start to get into this game now that I'm starting to understand it :P

<Sin{Away}> every elf in the game is played as a human
<Sin{Away}> pet peeve of mine
<Sin{Away}> lol, there's a new familiar....
<Sin{Away}> a pet peeve

<Keith`> you do see a few fishing boats thought
<Keith`> thats some thing new to you
<Bridget^^> "wow those go on the water?"
<Keith`> villager:"what on the water"
<Bridget^^> "those wooden things"

* Seraphina_Resc_ loiters around waiting for the dwarves
<Chaos`^> are you just gunna walk around for 5 days without a pourpus
<Seraphina_Resc_> no, I have a purpose
<Chaos`^> what?
<Chaos`^> maybe you should wake the dragon or fight the giant
<Seraphina_Resc_> I am supposed to guard them
<Chaos`^> more like them guarding YOU
<Seraphina_Resc_> besides you said 2 days. I would not have returned if you had told me it was longer
<Chaos`^> oh, bah! I said a few days
<Seraphina_Resc_> you said 2 days
<Chaos`^> I lied

<Seraphina_Resc_> how big is the giant
<Seraphina_Resc_> and what type
<Chaos`^> A heluva lot bigger than you
* Seraphina_Resc_ sighs and rolls her eyes at the fact that she, as a character, knows more about the giant than the DM does
<Seraphina_Resc_> how big
<Seraphina_Resc_> when you're my size knowing the size of your opponant is a key factor

<Jeramias> "Don't cry. We've just met. There is no reason to cry."
<Gaty`^> "But I liked you so much..."
* Gaty`^ sighs and leaves
<Krysylyn> "She has breasts. of course you like her."

<Seraphina_Resc> erp
* Chaos`^ can't imagine the pain...
* Seraphina_Resc prepares for yet another near-death experience

* Seraphina_Resc is simply too clever for her own good

* Seraphina_Resc wedges the stick in the coins under downslope of the ball... and tries breaking it
<Chaos`^> ... why?
<Seraphina_Resc> 'cause if it's magic it'll blow up
<Chaos`^> yeah... where will that get you, other than dead?
<Seraphina_Resc> ok... wedging the stick in... and then pounding on the ball and yelling 'help'
<Chaos`^> you manage to wedge the stick in.. but the ball doesn't reply to your "help"s
<Seraphina_Resc> if I'm gonna go I'd rather it be in lots of little pieces rapidly than dessication and starvation under a god knows how heavy ball of gold

<Chaos`^> yeah, your moving, little by litte... yoru hands begin to hurt after a while...
* Seraphina_Resc keeps digging after casting a cure minor wounds spell on herself :)
<Chaos`^> take the easy way out, I see!
<Chaos`^> Alright, after a while you find the floor...
<Chaos`^> with a fingernail..
* Seraphina_Resc wonders how Scrouge McDuck can swim through his coins.....
<Seraphina_Resc> must be a feat
<Chaos`^> coin swim =p

<Chaos`^> there's a really pretty saphire.. I love saphires.. take it for me so I can look at it... anyway.. uhm.. a dagger.. ohh! Idea!!
<Chaos`^> roll reflex ;-)
<unnamed_bot> Seraphina_Resc, 1d20+6: 18
* Chaos`^ wonders what the reflex dc would be anyway... we'll make it 19 since you rolled 18
* Seraphina_Resc beats Chaos`^ with a red-headed stepchild
<Chaos`^> seriously, it's 20
<Seraphina_Resc> uh huh

<Keith`> you goverment demoted you yet again, your not to make sure the humans that you revealed your self to don't go around screwing things up to much
<Flar> Having big enemies is bad :)
<Keith`> yah
<Keith`> infact your kinda lucky to have clothing
<Flar> do I have any of my weapons?
<Keith`> they made sure you were well armed
<Keith`> infact up grades if you wanted them
<Keith`> they figur if you kill the humans it solves the problums

<Keith`> amy sits down in a chair you find that most of the bridge's chair's/stations don't have controls or consoles but just a display screen
<Tara-Arrquette> "How the hell am I supposed to fly a ship with no controls?!?!"
<Keith`> well the pilots seat has controls most of the other stations don't
<Tara-Arrquette> "Missing buttons and levers and little meaningless blinking lights damn this is not a human ship"

<Tara-Arrquette> "ok well I guess if we encounter hostiles we can always try suck their entire ship inside the gun then fire it at something"
* Flar shakes his head sadly then stares at Tara, hoping shes joking

<Tara-Arrquette> "I have the weapons for slf defence"
<Tara-Arrquette> "A good offense is a strong defence"
<Flar> "Ah. Perhaps it is just me, but arming oneself with weapons to defend merely causes hostilities."
<Tara-Arrquette> "Only when you aim before talking"

<Flar> "I truly hope my superiours dont expect me to explain humanity to them . . ." suddenly grins "I cant even explain Fraal some days."
<Tara-Arrquette> "you can't explain your own race? what kind of diplomat areyou?"
<Flar> "Perhaps a poor one. I deal in contacting other races." Looks at you "Can you explain humanity to me?"
<Flar> (( and I dont know much about my race since the DM didn't say if we're as it is in the phb, but a diplomat saying that would be fired :) ))
<Tara-Arrquette> "Humanity is a strange confuzed power hungry race as a whole, but there are people like me who want otherwise)

* Faline tries to use tiger stealth, and is about to roll her move silently check, when she suddenly remmebers shes still in 2e...um..I just try to be steathy then ;P
<Cecil`^> (( you realize move silently is a thief only skill in 2e ;-))

<Salem_> "god dam.. i'm a frekin test tube baby of the gods"
<Simon```> (( you can put that on your resume :) ))
<Salem_> (( wanted- necomancer, demon spawn, and test tube baby of the gods... postiton- savoir of the known world))

<Simon```> She stares at you, dumbfounded "We hid only from an oath, and because of honour. Mortality is not a thing of dragons."
<Cecil`^> "Imortality, mortality, they are the same thing, one just lasts longer! This oath, this honor, honor... this word... this word, some use it to prevent fears, but honor, in itself, is caused by fear, the fear to do as others think of as wrong.. an honorable thing, in the sewers, is to piss on the turds."

<Simon```> Old Woman: "Change is a thing of mortals .. " She follows you, shaking her head "In time, your heart will change and you will understand."
<Cecil`^> "How do you know of change, if you have not experienced it?"
<Simon```> "We experience it as it passes us by."
<Cecil`^> "experience... is a sign of change."
<Cecil`^> (( hehe, gotcha there! ))
* Cecil`^ (( moves his queen 'check' ))

<Simon```> She shakes her head, looking irritated "What dragons are, we always were. We see what they do from a distance, through their dreams and plans. It does not affect us." She frowns, thinking of a metaphor "It as you are nto affected by movies you see, yes?"
* Cecil`^ looks at her "I have never seen a movie that didn't change me, atleast a little."
* Cecil`^ (( moves his rook "check.." ))
<Simon```> She looks at you "The change is of the moment, not of . . time. To those who live as we do, the moment means nothing. It passes and is gone."
<Cecil`^> "Then why do you show so much wisdom, if it all left you?"
* Cecil`^ (( moves his pawn "check..." sigh.. ;-))

<Caltak> damn I feel like superman now :P
<Caltak> Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to eat entire towns in a single meal...naw that just doesnt sound right ;P

<Chaos`^> c'mon daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
<Sparkie> Chaos`^ 40d12+400: 666
<Caltak> what are you rolling for, Chaos? ;P
<Chaos`^> that's sparkie for ya

<rei`-> WTF you said i could change with out problums.. not even a roll to try??
<Simon```> I said you could CHARGE with no problems, not change
<rei`-> OH
* rei`- beats his head again'st the keybored
<rei`-> you sure?
<Simon```> yeah
<rei`-> your sure i can beat my head again'st the keybored at will?
<Simon```> do your attack I ment :)

<Simon```> Ok, the place is still open, but its close to closing time. And yes, Faline is in there, doing reception work. She looks distracted
* Cecil`^ rushes in "Police, Miss Faline, you're under arrest for the murder a reporter and several other civilians."
<Simon```> Faline looks up absently "May I finish this filing first?"
<Cecil`^> "I'm affraid not, you'll have to come with us."
<Cecil`^> "If you will come with us to the 'station'."
<Simon```> Faline: "I see." She rings a bell and the Vet comes out, looking tired. "Yes?" Faline: "I'm being arrested now. For a few murders it seems. Do I get vacation pay?"
<Simon```> Vet: "What the?!" He looks at you "Who are you?!"

<Simon```> She nods "Can I change the phone message first?"
<Cecil`^> "No, You must come with us now."
<Simon```> She nods "It will only take a moment" and taps a button "Self destruct, t minus 4 second . " j/k
<Simon```> She nods "It will only take a moment" and taps a button "Hello, the Vet is dead and I, Faline, killed him. So I'm going to jail. You can go to Kamloops, which really is a much cheaper place, if you wish. And no, I didn't eat your cat, Mrs Parnofsky." She looks over "Done."
<Cecil`^> (( "There is no one at teh office right now, and the vet is currently on the floor dead, thank you for calling, we will get back to you when we are both alive again." ))

<Simon```> Edward: "I can fly her to the Queen. And she will help rescue your daughter."
* Cecil`^ nods "Will you return?"
<Simon```> Edward DeAth: "Yes. I will owe you for this."
<Cecil`^> (( HEHE I wanna see how faline and rei will react to him.. then again.. ))

<rei`-> "wake me if there is a blood thrusty mob out frunt"
* rei`- goes off to get that nap
<Simon```> (( which one Rei? the towsfolk, the people from the vet clinic, vampires, Zorro and companions, more vampires, or the native weres? ))
<rei`-> (any and all of the above)

<Cecil`^> wish I could get some kinda mental connection or somelthing =p
<Cecil`^> ohh! a familiar!!
<Cecil`^> or a dragoon =p
<Cecil`^> yeah, a vampire dragoon! cool! >:)
<Cecil`^> That would make me like... as munchy as faline.. maybe a little less ;-) but you know

<Caltak> actually..hmm..im pretty tired myself
<Chaos`^> oh, c'mon I just offered to do my game like you asked cal
<Chaos`^> so stay up and do it dammit! =p
<Caltak> when did I ask that? I was just humoring you ;P
<Caltak> it was your idea ;P
<Chaos`^> you wanted a game!
<Chaos`^> I'm offering one!
<Chaos`^> just go with the flow and stay awake

<Tammy`^> Well, Tammy is busy doing godly things
<Caltak> like washing her hair I expect? ;P

* Caltak notes if he had the pc he wanted to play in the game the orcs wouldnt be a problem ;)
* Sintaqx will, at this point, warn any players in any of his games that a comment such as Caltaks would be answered by said character meeting an untimely demise at the hands of a said member of said race

* Bonk` stands and waits for them, then calls out in orc "Who are you?" to them
<Sintaqx> either the orcs are stupid, or they are distracted by nebin, or they are stupid and distracted by nebin, or they don't know how to speak, or any combination of the above reasons, the orcs neglect to answer the inquiry

<Bonk`> so . . 3 pcs are fighting a small horde of orcs and 2 are arranging a date.
<Sintaqx> sad really
<Bonk`> which?
<Sintaqx> both

<Sparkie> I'm having a bad year . . do you know what kind of rolls a suicidal dicebot gives? No? Really, you don't? Well . . you're about to find out! *sobs and hides in a corner of the channel*
<flytail> That remark inspired confidence in me.

* Alona` loves a dm who can make a called shot from behind and hit a horse in the heart
<Alona`> thats impressive

<Sintaqx> nope, straight normal humans for this one
<Sintaqx> since I'm hoping to involve hominids like Chaos`^
<Chaos`^> hominids?
<Chaos`^> what's a hominid? is that an insult or a compliment?
<Sintaqx> unintelligent ape-like creatures :)

<Greg> "I dont know about these gentemen, but I'm curious as to why I'm here."
<Bryan`^> (( No chicks in this game? ))
<Jeren> ((not that you are aware of))
<Bryan`^> (( well damn, I might have to change my sex just to make it interesting ;))

<Greg> hmm, any special reason I ended up here?
<Jeren> you performed a wedding for someone.... and the brides family took offense.... :)
<Jeren> you don't know alot about those that are after you, just that you have been framed for a number of crimes, so they are probably linked to the cops or something of that nature
<Greg> for a wedding?!
<Jeren> they really disapproved :)

<Jeren> "The task assigned you is reletively simple.... you need to obtain entrance to a target and hold the door for an elite strike team to do it's job."
* Bryan`^ leans back and looks interested
<Bryan`^> "Your name wouldn't happen to be jim would it?"
<Jeren> "Jim? no.. why?"
<Greg> "As long as I don't have to marry anyone, I'm fine with it. Do you know of Them though?"
<Bryan`^> "I just wanted to say 'dammit jim' but that's ok.."

<Jeren> "You will be shown to your quarters... files with instructions and blueprints will be on your beds."
* Bryan`^ hopes it's like mission imposible with cool graphics and holograms and stuff
<Jeren> "You will also report back here tomorrow at 0500 to discuss your plans with our experts."
* Bryan`^ shivers at the thought of regular hours... why can't it be crazy? like all nighters, I mean, he is a doctor.. uuuhhhh a real schedule.. how.. interesting..

<Sintaqx> my char is sorat a female version of kilmer's character
<Sintaqx> but she changes gender as well as apearance
<Sintaqx> supreficially, of course :P
<Chaos`^> you mean she actually puts a.. and... uhg!
<Sintaqx> of course she does
<Sintaqx> if you watch jeren closely you see some very definite famale traits
<Chaos`^> maybe she just puts a gun there...
<Chaos`^> I mean.. a REAL gun...
<Chaos`^> one that shoots bullets.. of metal!
<Sintaqx> "Is that your gun or are you just happy to see me"

<Sintaqx> hmmm.. interesting weapon... a strap-on with ammunition :)
<Sintaqx> only useful at point-blank range :)

<Sintaqx> I should make some blueprints and guard patrol patterns for a high security secret compound..... instead I think I'll take a nap

<Sintaqx> Alternity kicks D&D's ass in the game system department :)
<Baliadoc> it does! but it also has so many pretty choices!
<Sintaqx> exactly :)
* Baliadoc just wants his thaco
<Sintaqx> Down with THAC0
<Sintaqx> Down With Hit Bonuses
<Sintaqx> Down with AC
<Baliadoc> you can't take my thaco away!!
* Sintaqx takes Baliadoc's THAC0 away
<Baliadoc> i won't stand for your class system! Confusing mathematics are the only way anyone should know if they hit!

<Elana-Silvereye> so what is your game warner?
<WarnerDM> ES, PCs are on a quest to find a Neo-Otyug a mate before she goes nuts, loses control, and kills every thing she can get her tenticals on.
<WarnerDM> And to have her back before Gel's pluming backs up.

<Robert```> (( wow with all these people running around someones gonna trip and hurt themself ))
<WarnerDM> ((people in life theatening evirorments don't tend to sidle alone at a comfortable pace. Unless their PC's that is)

<WarnerDM> Elana-Silvereye it looks like you have a clear run past the party. Do you want to keep going or does the fact that they've cleared the way for the mages as well worry you?

* Robert``` looks over to see the magic missle slam into Petra, then suddenly looks really pissed, as he turns towards the advancing mages and charges at them
<WarnerDM> You hear the mages swearing cures at each other. something about wasting magic
<WarnerDM> Robert turns on the storm troopers who run from his one blaster... only to run into a large group of troopers around the next turn...
<WarnerDM> oops sorry, wrong setting :)

<WarnerDM> Petra, uninterested in Burts objections is moving on ahead with what could be thought of as a smile on her face. But only after many years of studing surealist art and doing many illegal drugs.
<Lia`^> (( sex ))

<WarnerDM> if you guys ever buy a used a MM with a tendancy to fall open to page 147 you'll know I finnally sold my books :)

<WarnerDM> ((or are you just dieing to know why Petra is sudenly afraid of what shes been seeking all this time? :)
<`Anne`> ((peer pressure?))
<`Anne`> ((out of condoms?))
<`Anne`> ((finds out shes a lesbian?))
<Robert```> (( they're otyughs not neo-otyughs? ))
<WarnerDM> Give the man a cigar :)

<Marcus_Fenway> Damn lia is pushing the limits of Forshadowing
<Marcus_Fenway> <Lia`^> "You know, I've had one hell of a bad week.. could it get any worse!?"
<Marcus_Fenway> hehe :)

<Natalia`> umm..... Lia`^ is pissing Sera off... does she need a will save not to kill the pisoner?
<Natalia`> I mean... calling a hunter of the dead a vampireis definitely not the smartest :)

* Wesley_Heartblade wonders what's happened since we started?
<Lia`^> Mexican stand off
<Wesley_Heartblade> mexican standoff?
<Lia`^> everyone's about to kill eachother
<Wesley_Heartblade> uh oh
<Wesley_Heartblade> am I there?!?! :)
* Wesley_Heartblade grins evilly
* Wesley_Heartblade wants details!

* Lia`^ sighs and gets a seat near natalia
<Natalia`> "Wake me for my watch."
* Natalia` climbs into the bag
* Lia`^ was hoping to talk with natalia
* Natalia` was hoping to sleep

<Lia`^> "Hmph.. Do you think they're vampires?"
<Natalia`> "No."
* Lia`^ narrows her eyes "Are you a vampire?"
<Natalia`> "Not yet."
* Lia`^ laughs
<Lia`^> "It's good to see someone with humor.. Those two, have no sense of humor.. none.. all they wanna do is fight and kill stuff so it can be raised again.."
* Natalia` smiles unpleasently at Lia, displaying her fangs

<Marcus``> "Now, it's nice to see that everyone thinks we're going to die. Anyone who wants to try living, what skills do you have?"
<Jeren``> "Disguise, smallarms, breaking and entering, con artistry"
<Bryan`^> "I'm a doctor, I use computers in my past time.."
<Bryan`^> "I like to blow things up too."
* Greg` shrugs "I took boxing in university. And I can marry people."
* Marcus`` looks at Greg and the unnamed one, hoping for something besides doctor, or petty criminal
* Marcus`` gets that from Greg, but in the opposite direction he was looking for
<Marcus``> "They really do want us dead... how about you?" *to Valerie`-`*

<Bryan`^> "Let's see.. It doesn't say who is going where so we should get that planned out.."
<Marcus``> "Speaking of planning things out, what makes a doctor, a priest, and a small-time thief part of this deal?"
<Bryan`^> "I can kill you, he can give you last rights, and he can take your wallet."

<Valerie`-`> (wouldn't the video and the control room be on in the same?)
<Jeren``> ((video room is surveylance only.. control room also has video))
<Valerie`-`> (ok, ask me it would be on room...)
<Marcus``> (two rooms makes it that much harder to be taken over :)
<Jeren``> ((fine... it's one room.. the other is a store room, move that guard out an d put 4 in control))

* Salem_ don't start a game like that.... everyone is working in a cubebicle...and the goal is to reach middle managemt
<Alcar> that would be fun julie ...
<Salem_> oh no-- i gave them a idea
* Salem_ goes and duck tapes her mouth
<Sintaqx> h... can I start in the mailroom?

* Casio`^ is the guy who runs around and never seems to have a real job..
<Sintaqx> Chaos is a programmer.. k

* Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV is the lost co founder that never got promoted and is now sort of a gofer, staying with the company to keep his stock options and getting really, really bitter. I'm always plotting to murder the PHB who took my promotion :p
* Keith` is kinda glad RFJ's job isn't my job,
* Vicki_Kessen is the token female.. her job is to look cute..oh yea! and answer the phones and do..um... stuff with this thing called a computer.. .and... keep track of her boyfriends..or is that appointments??

* Eric_E_Eric sends out a memo to the entire company telling them there is a meeting in 5 minutes.. and sending 8 copies of the memo
* Casio`^ sends out a memo to everyone telling them he got the memo
* Eric_E_Eric sends out 8 more memos 10 minutes later telling the employees where the meeting is
* Casio`^ writes up a chain letter and throws it into the cubicle next to him
* Vicki_Kessen sends a memo about the memo on the memo thats about the meeting and the top ten from the late show

* Casio`^ sighs and sends out a memo telling the top ten worst bosses, and sends another memo saying that was the wrong memo, and sends 8 more memo's stating what was in the meeting one sentance at a time

<Vicki_Kessen> "should i prepare that "Report" you need ...*snicker*
<Eric_E_Eric> "Yes.... Prepare two of them, and e-mail one to the Johannasburg office.. then fax the report to make sure they get it.. and then send it Fed-Ex, just in case."
* Vicki_Kessen sends it UPS instead- the driver is cuter

* Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV enters the staff lunchroom and leaves, looking pale and horrified and sends an email asking who put the tuna sandwhich in the fridge. And when they did it. And could they please remove it, because its moving around.
* Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV then sends Vicki a memo asking her to contact the CDC
* Vicki_Kessen calls the CDC and talks about the recipe she saw on martha steward and forgets why she called
<Vicki_Kessen> "oh..and then you add some chopped mushrooms... then bake for 1/2 hour at 354
<Vicki_Kessen> "huh? why i called?... .well don;'t you want me to finish this great recpie ?

* Vicki_Kessen then starts up a cult following on the web for gremlin lovers and the bosses who are them in human form
<Eric_E_Eric> ((Aww.. I'm loved))
* Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV joins the cult and begins making a priesthood that follows Eric_E_Eric's management scheme to a T
<Eric_E_Eric> the management Scheme calls for three supervisors for each employee

* Casio`^ throws the tuna sandwitch into Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV's cubicle
* Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV watches his chair melt
<Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV> "Vicki . .did you phone the CDC? Please say yes?"
<Vicki_Kessen> "yea and he has a great recipe for stuffed cabbage"
<Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV> "Uhm . .the Tuna Sandwich is eating throughvthe floor . ."
<Vicki_Kessen> "oh yea- that..um he thinks its an ailen lifeform- and we should call NASA"

<Vicki_Kessen> "well you want evil tuna ailens taking over the company?"
<Vicki_Kessen> "i bet they have a better 10-k plan"
<Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV> "They likely have a better management plan that Mr E"
* Vicki_Kessen hums and wonders if evil tuna lifeforms have paided vactions
* Eric_E_Eric has Keith hire the tuna lifeform to take over the accounting dept
* Vicki_Kessen sends a fruit basket to welcome the new slave...er employee

* Casio`^ gets an e-mail back from nasa whom he accidently sent the eric sandwich pic to saying "Is it intelegent life?"
* Vicki_Kessen the tuna alien askes me on a date.... "really... and your kind have it THAT Big?"
* Vicki_Kessen pencils the alien for 7 pm

* Eric_E_Eric returns to the office
<Eric_E_Eric> "Any messages Vicki?
<Vicki_Kessen> "sir... well alien life forms are slowly climbing the corporate ladder and.... there is a rash of pics on the internet ..and nasa called and wants to hire the tuna fish sandwich to count votes
<Eric_E_Eric> "Alright Vicki... schedule NASA after the massage tomorrow morning."
<Vicki_Kessen> ok sir...and mr. sinclair called- he needs those souls you promsied by noon tomorrow
<Eric_E_Eric> "Oh.. Well.... Alright.. Send a memo to all employeed that due to low profits I must take their souls to pay the taxes."

<Vicki_Kessen> they want to see the delvopment on... the "object"
<Eric_E_Eric> "Oh, the 'Object."
<Eric_E_Eric> "Send them to Research and Development... the guys in the boiler room."

<Eric_E_Eric> the chinese take-out delivers a large peparoni pizza with garlic shrim topping
<Vicki_Kessen> oh well- better than what happend when i orderd office supplies from that black baby market
<Eric_E_Eric> Oh, that's where the mail clerk came from.

* Casio`^ accidently sends teh pick of Randolph_Frederick_Jacobs_IV and Eric_E_Eric 'kissing' to eric's wife instead of the newsletter
<Eric_E_Eric> Eric's wife e-mail's Casio`^ back asking him where he found such a flattering picture of her.
<Vicki_Kessen> "hmm- oyu got her good side
* Vicki_Kessen sends the pic to the INQUIRER and the GLOBE- image editing the picture for alien tunafish sandwichs mating with big foot
* Eric_E_Eric sends in the patants for the offspring
* Casio`^ uses eric's email address and explains to eric's wife that that was a male prostitute that eric hired while golfing with his mistresses and visiting his babies
<Vicki_Kessen> ((dam this is messed up- i think we went too far.. what have i started????))

* Marcus_Fenway = Cora + Taklinn Alcar = Koby + Bonk | Sintaqx = Seraphina + t`Elena
<Marcus_Fenway> We need a DM :)
<Marcus_Fenway> That game would put Sparkie over 3000 quotes on the first game session...

<Marcus_Fenway> that reminds me... Koby hasn't gotten himself lost in a while
<Marcus_Fenway> Koby, the only ranger I have ever seen who can get himself lost
* Keith` shakes his head
<Marcus_Fenway> Then again Koby is also the Only ranger I know who can hide from people staring at him

<Edward_DeAth> Faline and Rei (if hes awake) here a large number of vehicles pulling in the driveway
<Cecil`^> (( That would be a.) zorro b.) the red brother hood or c.) queen of cats
<Faline> (( or d) angry mob of villagers ))
<Edward_DeAth> rei sees answer d coming into the yard .. lots of vehicles, lots of people. armed and reeking of fear

<Faline> "Cecil, you're acting like a child. Stop."
<Cecil`^> "I have to do something in my spare time.."

<Faline> "Ok, good, so let's get out of here then, ok?"
* Rei`-- is looking about for a way to leave and keep the house between him and the mob
<Faline> (( into the woods? ))
<Rei`--> (what i was thinking...)
<Cecil`^> "Hmm.. Oh! I think there's a hole down into hell somewhere around the forest.."
<Faline> "What?"
<Cecil`^> "Where the demon came out of.. Let's go!"
<Faline> "Uh, no, let's don't."
* Edward_DeAth shakes his head "You haven't even been here a month ... impressive. It took even Vlad Dracul longer to get a mob against him."
* Faline follows Rei, ignoring Ed's comment

* Faline figures she locates a phone next to the bed, since thats where I've seen em before, and sits on the bed, taking a scrap of paper out of her wallet and picking up the phone
<Edward_DeAth> ok
<Edward_DeAth> nothing evil happens
Edward_DeAth> you contine? :)

<Edward_DeAth> ok . . you see an unmarked forest floor . well, unmarked except for the pentagram someones drawn where the deon came out and the dirt they shovelled back in
<Edward_DeAth> the candles are lit and a young man is chanting something in the middle of it all
<Cecil`^> "and who are you?"
<Edward_DeAth> he looks up with a shocked start at the two of you, his eyes glowing for a moment with magic then says "W - who are you?!"
<Cecil`^> "Escuse me, but I have a date with hell.. would you like to move?"

<Edward_DeAth> He looks at you "I AM in the process of opening a door to the netherworld. You can kindly go away." He waves a stick .. err, wand .. at you
<Cecil`^> "Oh, you are, well, let me help..
<Edward_DeAth> The kid looks at you "I said --- Huh> You want to help?"
* Cecil`^ walks into the middle of the thing and speaks in draconic "Going down!"
* Cecil`^ figures simplicity over all else works
<Edward_DeAth> The world vanishes with a swirl of colours, as if someone poured paint
thinner in a painting .. you'd standing in a grey void, surrounded by grey void
<Cecil`^> "This is hell?"
* Cecil`^ sighs "It's not all it's cracked up to be.."

<Cecil`^> "Well.. let's see.. gods can't go to hell.. what about heaven?"
<Cecil`^> "I'll be right back.."
* Cecil`^ looks at the sky
<Cecil`^> "Going up..."
<Edward_DeAth> Grey void flickers around you for a moment, then expells you again
<Cecil`^> "Alright.. I've got it all figured out.. the elevator doesn't like me.."

* Edward_DeAth looks at you "I .. I have some bad news."
<Cecil`^> "What?"
<Edward_DeAth> "The session just ended. My apologies."

<Sintaqx> character trait... Romantic?
* Sintaqx is laughing too hard.. can't breathe
<Edward_DeAth> fall in love with a human and serranade them "hhhss isss iss iss Hissss issssss hrsshhhh!"
<Sintaqx> and wonder why they run away screaming for the national guard?

<Edward_DeAth> humourous :)
<Edward_DeAth> alien practical joker
<Sintaqx> point to a spot on your shirt and run a claw up to your nose... taking it off
<Sintaqx> or an alien with a whoopie cusion
<Sintaqx> ever seen an alien rolling on the ground holding it's sides?

<Sintaqx> phobia... insecticide
<Sintaqx> temper... berserk rage whenever he sees Sigourney Weaver
<Edward_DeAth> or an aliens movie
<Edward_DeAth> the pcs could find you trying to write "The Way It Really Was." By A. Lien
<Sintaqx> abductee?

<Sintaqx> virtuous is better.... Always tell the truth...
<Sintaqx> "Did you kill this man?"
<Sintaqx> "Hissssisss"
<Sintaqx> "What do you mean self defense?"
<Sintaqx> "Hissssisss"
<Sintaqx> "You ripped his frigging face off!"
<Sintaqx> "Hissssisss"
<Sintaqx> "Well, when you put it like that, yes, I understand."

<Baliadoc> why bother with chance? i like my luck fixed. especially when i'm in control of the luck

<Musashi``> "Oh, it's just a translator. Made by the mogrens. They're actually fairly rare, especially one of this caliber."
* Ghost`^ looks at it "Where did you get that!?"
<Musashi``> "Like I said, gift from a stranger. Some Grek just handed it to me."
* Ghost`^ shrugs "Well, keep it out of sight, it's wanted around here.. Maybe you were meant to have it.. anyway, I'm off.."
<Musashi``> "It's wanted?"
<Ghost`^> "Don't worry about it, just keep it out of plain veiw and you should be fine.."
<Alcar> of course you should.
<Musashi``> "Well what do you mean by wanted? Wanted as in, 'We'll kill you and take it,' or wanted as in 'The new Tickle me Elmo?'"
<Ghost`^> "As in 'we'll kill you take it, burn your body and resurect you and burn it again.' wanted.. don't even try to give it away wanted.."

<Musashi``> "You stole it?"
<Musashi``> "Then how the hell did a Grek get it, to give to me?"
* Musashi`` raises an eyebrow at you, giving you one of those "You're a fucking loon" looks
<Ghost`^> "I don't know, some guy picked it up, and evidently wanted you to have it.. maybe a gift or something from a secret admirerer, don't ask me! I'm off though."
* Musashi`` sighs
<Musashi``> "I really need to go find a small planet to just hang out on for a while."

<Jeramias> Unfortunetly I deleted my PCs so that I won't accidentally play them j/k

* Salem_ laughs, happy for atlest one normal thing...er.. if playing fetch with a were is conciderd normal

<Jeramias> DM? I'd have to be insane! Oh, right... Shall we start?

* Toggul hits the kid in the stumic while yelling heal!
<Alcar> <Borgios> throws up again ... (how much do you heal?
<Namee> he looks on togguls healing methods with dismay, "Um are you *whap!* sure that is *whap!* really nessisary?'

<Itou`^> "You will when I get done with you!" *with that she flies at C1 blade first ;)*
* Itou`^ hits the book shelf.. "That was just a warning.."

<Elmindreda> "come on lets get going we can't waste more time on him
<Namee> "why are we in a hurry?"
<Namee> "we need to speed up so we can get lost faster?"
<Tisrook> "Why do you have to go back?"

* Cecil`^ is going to go play his first *gasp* RL game on friday... any pointers?
<Caltak> Cecil: alcohol
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> Cecil: Party Jello
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> Cecil: Bring a live goat a Cerimonial knife, some candles, a couple voodoo dolls, and a CD of ritual chanting

<Cecil`^> Hey! if I'm talking to the east coast.. I'm talking to people in the future! Hey! what happens two hours from now cal?
<Caltak> How would I know? I'm entombed in my fortress of solitude.

<Tara-Arrquette> (* Tara-Arrquette says to her crew "we need a catchy slogun incase they make a movie out of us....how about... 'these are the voyages of the starship enterprise...it's continuing mission to explore strange new worlds to seek out new life and new civilizations to boldly go where no one has gone before*duh duhduhduh duhduhduhduh duh duh...*0 hehe))

<Tara-Arrquette> "ok lets jump to where the probe enters unexplored space how long will that take subspace?"
<Keith`> right about a month
<Tara-Arrquette> "ok lets jump, unless anyone else has any plans they'd like?"
<Keith`> bobby:"a compleat test of the crystal hull would be a good idea"
<Tara-Arrquette> "ahh yes I just thought we did that going in a sun and all"

<Keith`> the scans show a fairly normal system a closer scan of the 3rd planet shows why the fraal never exsplored the area, from the readins there is is life down there but its at the cave man stage
<Tara-Arrquette> (quick drop a large black obolisk)

* Edward_DeAth sighs .. hard to rp a vampire suffering claustrophobia at 40,000' when the other player vanishes
<Faline> yeah its also hard to rp a weretiger driving really fast who is about to ask a werefox about a demon when neither the werefox nor the other weretiger who is alos in the car are here, so there :)

<Cecil`^> "You tried to take the plane.. we want it back.. safely.."
<Edward_DeAth> Pilot: "I really doubt you can fly it."
* Cecil`^ smiles "I've watched M:I 2, I know how to fly a plane." he winks "What do you want?"
<Edward_DeAth> The pilot shudders at that idea

* Cecil`^ puts on his headset and turns the intercom on "This is your co-pilot cecil speaking, we have detained all but one of the terrorist, whome is flying us on our way down. Please take a seat, I have turned on the no smoking sign, If you are wounded, please find help, and above all else, stay alive.. oh and fasten your seat belts, it's gunna be a bumpy ride."

<Faline> (( list of weaknesses: -Silver -Catnip -Dairy products ^u^ ))

<Faline> Faline's dream: Meat & Catnip flavor ice cream ;)

<Yuki-Takuri> "But how could we find him if he's looking for us?"

<Faline> you waken with a peculiar desire for watermelon
<Faline> wha
<Edward_DeAth> you want to eat some
<Faline> yeah I gathered that....why?
<Edward_DeAth> no reason. you just want to
<Faline> I'm really confused now ;P
<Faline> is there a reason or are you just bein silly?
<Edward_DeAth> there is always a reason. especially to sillyness
<Faline> I mean milk products makes sence in a way but watermelon??

* Rei`-` figurs faline will wake on her own shortly there after
<Yuki-Takuri> "So whatta you think Rei?"
<Rei`-`> "I gave up on thinking when the village mob ran us out of town"

<Edward_DeAth> Oh, watermelon ... and a strange craaving for bagels. With extra cream cheese
<Faline> well the cream cheese I understand but whats up with the watermelon and bagels?
<Faline> I mean, I really dont get why I'd be craving watermelon and bagels...but whatever
<Faline> wait a second..
<Faline> HOLY SHIT
<Faline> oh wait it's not....ut oh
<Faline> its not what I'm thinking is it?
<Edward_DeAth> I dont know what you're thinking abot .. why?

<Alcar> exp: 900
<Jeramias> hmm... Is it wrong for me to keep taking exp even though I've dropped out of the game?

<Keith`> amy:"they lost a 3rd of there ship and they are practicly out of control"
<Terry_```> (( practically? we ARE out of control! ))
Tara-Arrquette> "is there anyway we can help stabalize them? because they don't seem to know how to pilot"
<Terry_```> (( !!! damn you ;p ))

<Terry_```> OMG Im a bettter pilot than Elana but when she shoved me outta the way and tryed it, Spark gave her a 2!!! a 2!!!!!!!!

<Flar> Comm to vessel: "Is anyone on your ship injured or harmed?"
<Terry_```> (( "well, Boo bruised his foot but other than that.." ))

<Keith`> the peace of the ship you shot off is burning in the atmosfae as a side note it hits one of the cave men killing him but they descover fire

<Terry_```> (( OH DAMn im supposed to be Optimistic! I forgot lol! ))

<Elana-Silvereye> "You don't have zero-G training do you Pilot?"
<Terry_```> "Training? well no, not as such..."
<Elana-Silvereye> "Whatta you mean not as such?"
<Terry_```> "Well in other words, no I dont. But how hard could it be? Oh, and I do have a zero g pistol though."

<Valla-Lo`Ren> "She is needed for questioning"
<Terry_```> "Ah. for what?"
<Valla-Lo`Ren> "I'm a Bounty Hunter not a Laywer"

* Terry_``` stands by the door and waits for it to open
* Valla-Lo`Ren does as well
* Keith` does as well for god sakes

<Keith`> valla is out cold and terry is holding a rather deadly looking hampster
* Flar is NOT stooping to use empathic projection to calm a hamster :)
<Terry_```> (( oh so you'd rather get a nasty hampster bite? ))
<Flar> (( its a question of dignity :) ))
<Keith`> LOL i was kidding

* Boo``` wonders just hwo severe the effects would be on the planet below if/when the crippled ship crashes into it
* Terry_``` wonders when they will get some food

<Captain_Ahab> " Lieutenent_Vrgmnq vomited in the galley, go clean it up"
<Lieutenent_Vrgmnq> "I do not vomit sir. It was an experiment on weight alteration, alien foods and various coloured pills. I feel fine now."
<Lieutenent_Vrgmnq> "When did you grow a third head, sir?"
<_-Dirk_-> It was an experiment on weight alteration, alien foods and various coloured pills. <---sounds like most of todays diets:)

<Tisrook> Do I see anything interesting to my line of work? :)
<Alcar> lots of magical stuff for sale. Curious from the western ruins. Also mages hands - take a mage, kil them, and use their bones for necklaces. People think it brings luck
<Tisrook> Cool. I'll have to get me one of those ;)
<Tisrook> How much?
<Alcar> 10 gold
<Tisrook> cool
<Tisrook> I'll have to sell one of my hands so that I can buy some other stuff ;)

* Alumar finds a few branches and moss to make some cruide torches
<Elmindreda> (aren't torches crude already?)

<Sparkie> 17 16 11 11 8 6 (69)
<Sparkie> 17 16 16 13 11 10 (83)
<Baliadoc> oh. see, i like that second set
<Baliadoc> that's what they commonly refer to as a "good set."
<Baliadoc> or "a set that players rarely get, when rolling with sparkie."

<Rei`-`> "i'm starting to think we need to get you to a doctors"
<Yuki-Takuri> "What kind of doctor"
<Sin{Nappin}> ((A vet))
<Rei`-`> "a basic doctor, we can go from there"
<Yuki-Takuri> "hehe, not a vet or a shrink?"
* Faline looks at Yuki with a "this is serious" look
<Sin{Nappin}> ((As opposed to Faline's usual 'I'm gonna bite your head off' look?))

<Sin{Nappin}> ((I say let faline have the baby... she does her part in controlling the world population))
<Faline> (( hey yeah thats right ;) ))
<Rei`-`> (LOL no shit she has eaten enought healthy breaders)

<Baliadoc> and lo, God created the were-creatures. And then He, in His infinite wisdom, saw the one who would be known as Faline, and God said "Holy Me. I need a drink."
<Baliadoc> and God drank. And so man has consumed massive amounts of beer on Sundays, to get in touch with God's Hangover, observed every Monday during the football season.
<Pan`BG2> but subsiding just long enough in the evening to catch Monday Night football on CBS
<Baliadoc> This, ironically, explains God's reasoning for "resting" on the 7th day.

<AlcarDM> Ok, you hear screams as only 3 demons rushing through a hospital of sick patients can evoke. The sounds later get recorded and turned into a #1 rap hit.

* Keith` chears as he takes the lead in ending campaigns by any player!
<Keith`> good run for a one night stand kinda game
<Baliadoc> I'll catch up to you someday, Keith
* Baliadoc gives Keith the evil "I'll end another campaign too" eye

<Elana-Silvereye> ok Al any restrictions on the characters?
<Alcar> no real restrictions tho .. feel free to be creative
<Keith`> LOL restrictions?
<Keith`> he is pitching Terrisque as a pc race for god sakes!
<Alcar> its not a race, its a familiar!

<Baliadoc> yeah, it's just a baby tarrasque :)
* Baliadoc just happens to be a fighter with a beastly shield. Beastly in that it a) can't be hurt, and b) moves

<Sin{Away}> a schitzophrenic were-gelatinous cube
<Elana-Silvereye> no, were-Mustard jelly

Elana-Silvereye knew a wizard who had a yellow slime as a familiar
<Elana-Silvereye> Yellow slimes have to eat a human once every dat to survive
<Elana-Silvereye> and when they do they double in size
<Elana-Silvereye> lets just say by the end of the week he was hiding his familiar in a barn at the edge of town and the villiagers were investigating a rash of disapearances

Keith`> hay alcar? does the "dogs" hp go up by my level up?
<Keith`> or is it a fixed total?
<Alcar> it'd go up also :)
* Keith` grins and likes this
<Keith`> THE FUCKING DOG HAS MORE HP THEN I DO!

<Jayleena> New prestige class!
<Jayleena> "Drunken Master"!

<Hellainya> "Perahpas you have seen a devil before?"
* Hellainya smiles
<AlcarDM> The Warlord looks at Hellainya "I was one before." and doesn't smile
<Tynelis> (("oh yes, I've met him several times...charming fellow...really knows how to throw a party"))
<Tynelis> ((and thank you alcar for that curveball...))

* Tynelis notices that they are having trouble communicating and decides to try a universal trick
<Snake`-`> (grate he is going to give it the finger)
* Tynelis walks over to the spider like creature, pulls his swords out, unmenacingly and drops them to the ground, and extends his hand in friendship

<Hellainya> "They are hopeless surface dwellers, they don't know anything of the ways of underfolk
<Araka```> "Well I don't know anything about the surface, either. This is actually the first time I've come up here. I have to say, this is one weird place."
<Hellainya> "Do you come from a comunnity of Drow?, or are driders in this plane different?"
<Araka```> "What are Drow?"
<Hellainya> "They are a race of under dwelling dark skinned elves from another world, their heritics are transformed into Driders as punishment"
<Hellainya> "Aperently it is different here"
<Araka```> "Oh... um, what are elves?"

<paula-v> what are you?
<paula-v> the pixie?
<Alcar> yeah
<paula-v> an imp a pixie and a Minotaur
<Baliadoc> minotaur!? lol!!
<Baliadoc> Alcar, we can be so mean! you stand on one shoulder, I'll stand on the other. We'll tell her what she should and shouldn't do ;)
* paula-v wonders what people will think if she impales them both on her horns and walks around like that for a while

<Jayleena> Alot of humans accidentaly find their way to Sigil, they either adapt and stay or try to find their way back to their home plane
<Warner> Jayleena OH well in that case I'll make a PC who neither stays or trys to find their way back :)
<Jayleena> PCs are the ultimate exception
<Warner> I'll make one who takes to runing a tour though everywhere else :)

<Warner> a munchkin is a imature player who thinks the way to have fun in D&D is to be the most powerfull so you can out score every one else and beat the game. A munchkin PC is what is created by a player with this mentality. A Kender is race that has a liberal concept of personal property who survives only because they're to cute to kill off like the vermin they are :)

* Sandra``` wanders into the tavern mostly by accident, still trying to figure out how to ask someone how to get back to where she was, which is made difficult by the fact she doesnt know where she is now ;P

<JaylenaDM> The Slaad expresses what seems to be a facial expression

<Sandra```> "Well um..yeah I guess. I mean I would need help getting back..but then again there really isnt much to get back to."
<JaylenaDM> "By getting back, what do you mean?"
<Sandra```> "Oh, um, going back to where I was before. I'm not exactly sure where that would be though, since I dont know where I am now...uh, it was in a forrest if that helps at all."
<JaylenaDM> Kreger laughs an almost frightening bellow remeniscant of fifty fires all popping at once
<JaylenaDM> Kreger: "No I am afraid it does not help in the least"

<Whheeee> "Oh dear. Uhm, why do you want to go back?"
<Sandra```> *in general direction of voice* "You know, im not exactly sure, come to think of it."
<Whheeee> "Well then." *satisfied* "Just avoid demons, devils, drow .. oh, most things starting with a D in them, and Sigil is a fine city."

<JaylenaDM> Kreger then leaves the tavern leaving you feeling very much confused and concerned
* Sandra``` has been confused and concerned since she got to Sigil ;)
<JaylenaDM> well even more so then

<Caltak> you know its fun to play a pc who knows nothing about the place in a system the player doesnt know anything about. Convenient too ;)

<Jayleena> well I'm pretty much off to bed and to make NPCs
<Pan`Ku> not in that order of course right?

<Sin{Away}> you know you've been playing D&D too much when you start thinking of children as 'Halflings'

<Sin{Away}> 7/8 is average
<Keith`> still not not high
<Sin{Away}> since max in alternity is 14
<Keith`> oh for alternity!
<Keith`> i thought you where talking D&D
<Sin{Away}> get your mind out of the gutter, Keith`

* Reeve`` is going to beat Snake into a fine puree, and sell him as the new flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream

<Spotless_Raven> "although my weapons and armor are in desperate need of repair, I'm going to blow the whole reward on ale and whores."

<Saigh> *mutters irritably* we're all gonna die
<Mannan__> of course we are everyone does
<Saigh> shall we follow them, then?
<MacLean> Ah, we can handle an ogre!
<MacLean> It's those verbeeg we've gotta worry about.
<Saigh> Fine, but Mollusk and I will wax most wroth should we be pulped in the process

<Alcar> ok. You're currently floating down the road towards the city?
<Itou`^> i'm in the bushes if I can...
<Alcar> ok .. good idea. Even here a sword travelling alone is odd. Not that you'd be likely to be ravished by bandits, but still :)
<Itou`^> hehe
<Itou`^> With a book stabbed to it's hilt
<Alcar> that too.

* Elmindreda piles it in a corner and lights the clothes on fire making sure nothing wood is near them
* Elmindreda smiles wondering what any living bugbears will think when they get back and have no clothes left
* Alumar` tries not to think about it

<Alcar> (( hmm, ooc question: would 2 half vampires have a vampire child? ))
<Tisrook> (<( there's like a one in 4 chance or something ;) )>)
<Elmindreda> (I duno, prolly another half vamp cause they are half human or other race as well right)
<Elmindreda> (i am not breast feeding a full vamp no way)

<Tisrook> "Ha ha. Its all fun and games until someone losses an arm. You can stalk me just as long as you don't hurt me. How would I help you then?"
<Alcar> Swish: "Oh. But ... ok."
<Tisrook> "I know its your nature, so if you really must stalk something, I'm sure that these orcs would be an interesting group."
<Alcar> Ok, your familar heads off to stalk the care bears :)

<WarnerDM> When last we left our heros they were runing from a hord of Otyughs in a bad mood. Pasages were flying past you as you ran randomly to whatever fate the over caffinated, sleep depived mind of the DM could device. Shall we see what happens? :)

* Elana-Silvereye runs at the door at an incredible speed and smashes into the door with incredible force
* Elana-Silvereye smashes thru the door
<WarnerDM> the door decides quit its present job in disgust and gets another job at its brothers wood kindling stock pile.

* WarnerDM casts advance plot by huming a death march

<WarnerDM> petra gives another long plaintive howl. You hear such peoetic longing in her voice you can't belive its coming from a hyper intelegent garbage disposal
<WarnerDM> Robert``` wait your turn im getting melodramatic here :)
<Robert```> (( this is one fucked up melodrama, I must say ))
<WarnerDM> Robert grows larger but stays green
<Elana-Silvereye> .oO(Petra, I have a mate for you now)
* Reawen looks from Robert to Petra and begins to laugh, almost hysterically

<WarnerDM> robert bumps his head on the ceiling and a few small sparks jump off the ring
<WarnerDM> robert shrinks down to half his last hight becoming a kender with tenticals
<WarnerDM> the ring sparks again
<Robert```> (( tentacled kender...all the better to pick pockets with ;) ))
<WarnerDM> the ring sparks red as if in frustration and robert turns into a fish
<Elana-Silvereye> What?
<WarnerDM> the normally gray ring seems to be turning red with what could ether be frustation or embaracement
<WarnerDM> as Robert``` gasps for air the ring makes one last ditch effort and turns him into a Neo-Otyugh. its light fades and its former shine grows dim.

<WarnerDM> Robert, looking a little exausted from his trip thru the different speices stagers towards petra who grabs him quickly
<Elana-Silvereye> "Well there, thats fixed"
<WarnerDM> Soon robert and Petra are performing an act that some how has none of the simple beuty that any of the prono movies reawen has seen had :)
<Robert```> (( shield your eyes or you could go blind! ))
<Elana-Silvereye> "Now isnt that cute?"
<Robert```> (( im serious!! ))
<Robert```> (( hmm..what a way to get introduced into a new body...suddenly get laid :P ))

<Warner> next game: we discover what happens when a hord of horny Otyughs returns to their pad and finds a pair of Neo-Otyughs sleeping in their bed :)

<Warner> well i hope you guys enjoyed today. I think the old a frog meets Otyugh, frog finds ring of Otyugh polymorph, forg gets raped by Otyugh in heat love story should be worth a few quotes :)

<Caltak> but you know, I figure, what pc class would really be appropriate for an otyugh? ;)
<Alcar> barbarian :)
<Alcar> "Give me crap or die!"
<Caltak> well you do realize otyughs dont JUST eat crap, they eat meat too, they just primarily are scavengers ;) Of course, more "civilized" Neo's would likely prefer to just be scavengers cause then they can be all high and mighty about not having to survive off the death of other creatures :P

<Jacob> "Well in any case it um.. *looks around*..appears we're drawing something of a crowd."
<paula-v> the crowd around you dispurses bored
<Jacob> "Oh, nevermind."

* Guo pokes Aquan with a stick trying to figur what he is
<Guo> )well i would say a tree but thats just my gess(

<Jacob> hey do you realize I could be injected with a horrible disease, then thrown into a near-freezing pool of deadly acid that is suddenly electrified and be perfectly ok? ;)
<Jacob> "oh I know, I'll distract the Tarrasque and then run into the huge pool of acid, and when it follows me in, finish it off."

<paula-v> the bartender walks up to guo "What are you doing lad?"
* Guo in broken and common that makes amarican english look and sound like proper english in comparison (much like my spelling)"who deep?"

<Warner> my stepy pony is a great great... grandson of Milly. Hes always getting in truble and is as stuborn as mule. hes a bit better at reading maps. been breeding them for inteligence
<Warner> and he has a problem with anyone that compares him to Milly :)

<\\`arner> ok, then how does heading north help me with the south? aside from just taking the pressure off Beriz
<Alcar> well, the pcs were hired by the merchant Isca Riot to bring the sun back -- hes almost as famous as Gel is, and willing to spend whatever it takes. No ones quite sure why, but the pcs never asked him :)
<\\`arner> Ah, theres an idea. Use magic to bring the sun back. Worlds bigest publicity stunt! :)

* Gelhalee calls after the undead, "Come visit Beriz some time. We cater to the living impaired"
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "You .. want them to go to a city?" stares at Gel incredeously
* Gelhalee shrugs "Tourists are always good for trade"

<Snake`-`-> "were being followed"
<Gelhalee>"followed by what?"
<Snake`-`-> "don't know"
<Gelhalee>"any idea of their numbers?"
<Snake`-`-> "nothing for sure"
<Gelhalee> "Remind me never to send you scouting for an army"*

<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> advances on the big evil insect more "Why did you attack it, thing?"
* Gelhalee offers the Drider a Horsehound candy
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "Why not offer it your pony?"
* Gelhalee gives the warlord a look of considerable distaste
<Gelhalee> "Its even saying its sorry. A most unusual drider to be sure"
<Gelhalee> "The poor things starving to death"
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "It was ..." stops then sighs "Nothing is ever easy, is it? What can we feed it?"
<Gelhalee> "many things are easy. its aprecateing the easy things that is hard"

* Gelhalee takes a step back and casts a spell "Conjer Material Component"
<Gelhalee> 2d4 eyes of newts :)
<Sparkie> Gelhalee 2d4: 6 eyes of newts :)
<Gelhalee> ((I love finding uses of spells that no one ever intended))
<Araka```> (( what is a newt anyway? :P ))
<Gelhalee> Newt: somthing Mrs Gingrich thought would make a good name for her son :)

<Gelhalee> Gel is walking over to talk to snake :P
<Gelhalee> not that anyone cares
* Gelhalee would look at his watch if he had one
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> goes ahead of everyone to scout
* Araka``` (( thinks Gelhalee should invent some Rolex's, make a bundle ;) ))
<Gelhalee> ((invent the Rolex before the telephone! briliant. for my next bluder I'll invent frost free refirgerators before electrial power))

<AlcarDM> ooh, how hungry IS Araka?
<AlcarDM> Otyughs are edible
<Araka```> EWWWWwwww! thats so gross!!
<Araka```> who would WANT to though?
<AlcarDM> You have 2 days to go
<AlcarDM> Otyughs could live in this area easily
<Araka```> ewwwwwwwwwwww
<Araka```> my god thats grosser than the whole Otyugh sex thing. and at least that was funny! :P

<AlcarDM> <Otyugh> *sound of someone farting* AHHHH! Burp! *scratches its hide with its vines.*
<AlcarDM> (( it just spoke the common it hears ))
<Tynelis> ((it's the Al Bundy of AD&D!))
<Araka```> (( would NOT buy shoes from an Otyugh ;) ))

<AlcarDM> <Al_Bundy_Otyugh> "Food ..... Want .... foood ..."
<Tynelis> "anybody know what these things eat?"
<Snake`-`-> "yah, just go to the bathroom"
<Tynelis> "umm....I don't need to right now...perhaps we should leave?"

<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> rummages in his small pack and throws it some meat
<AlcarDM> The Otyugh devours it and sinks under the muddy ground again
* Tynelis excuses himself to go and puke and comes back and lies down
<Snake`-`-> "be sure to puke near the Otyugh, from what i understand they love that kinda thing"
* Gelhalee gives Snake`-`- a harsh look, "Now be nice"

<Snake`-`-> dude the only thing this party is missing is a cook
<Snake`-`-> you couldn't have made the warlord a chef with cooking to die for?

* Gelhalee turns and sounds uncarictoristicly serious "I have come to aid you in returning the sun. I have only one proviso. The people must come to know that it was magic that restored the sun."
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "So they will hunt and kill wizards down?"
<Gelhalee> To warlord, "Its getting to that point." He looks admiring at his casting hand like a gun fighter would a fine gun. "They havn't got to the killing part yet" :)

<Tynelis> "but how do we stop what we cannot see?"
* Gelhalee rumages around in his cart and comes out with a steel bucket sitting back on his head, "We improvize"
<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "You want to bell an invisible person?"
<Gelhalee> "if thats what it is it would help"
<Gelhalee> "For all i know little rocks have up and decided on their own that sitting around obeying the laws of physics is boring"
<Tynelis> "the rocks themselves come to life?"
<Tynelis> "I'm a denizen of the forest, and I've never seen such occur"

* Gelhalee asks snake, "Don't supose you've seen anyone going around boping people on the head?"
<Gelhalee> "I'm begining to feel like a field mouse"

<AlcarDM> <The_Warlord> "A cleric?" looks at Tynelis "What is wrong with him?"
<Snake`-`> "The winds don't speek well of him"
<Tynelis> "aye, what is wrong with me?"
<Snake`-`> "don't know, but they speek of your death"
<Tynelis> "my death?"
<Gelhalee> "The winds speek...? Oh hehe don't mind that, I had a buretto for lunch"

<Snake`-`> "she isn't here"
<Tynelis> "how do you know?"
<Snake`-`> "left over gift from long befor your time"
<Tynelis> "you confuse me"
<Snake`-`> "good"

<Elana-DM> On the porch of the building are 5 theives playing some manner of dice game
<Sandra```> (( do they also have pieces of paper? ;) ))
<Elana-DM> ( they ask you if you'd like to make a character and join them )

<Elana-DM> well neither of you make it
<Elana-DM> but with your powers Combined!
<Sandra```> (( I am Captain Planet! ))
<Elana-DM> no
<Elana-DM> but you can open it

* Sandra``` still looks around for doors until shes sure there arent any, unless of course there are
<Elana-DM> you continue down the more or less hallway like crypt
<Sandra```> (( oh I didnt know it was a hallway I thought you meant it was a room! ))

<Elana-DM> your back at the Bleeding skull
<Elana-DM> and it's usual wonderful atmohspere
<Elana-DM> The Barkeep lets you in, remembering you
<Sandra````> (( yeah I should hope so. How many minotaurs yuan-tis and pixies come in here as a group? ;) ))
<Whheeee> (( Its Sigil. Likely more than we want to think :) ))

<Elana-DM> Rerkesh looks at you suspectantly
<Elana-DM> or rather, expectantly

<Jayleena> "I swear sometimes I think the only three things the world doesn't need are Politicians, Mosquitos, and Elves!"

<Krysylyn> Wizards Laboratory: 8000 gold pieces. Magical Components: 1000 gold pieces Look on the face of a wizard as he wakes up in bed next to a naked succubus: priceless

<ElanaDM> "The...er...noble beauty of a... uh... a pig wallow.
<ElanaDM>The...<smirk>... the melodious sound of a... a boot splorching <snicker>through the mud after... after... BWAHAHAHA"
<ElanaDM> --Excerpt from the last performance of Gerald the Straight-faced Bard, held at the Great Silt Palace on the Para-Elemental Plane of Ooze.

* EvilDM needs to DM a game...... and kill a half-dozen things including PCs

<paula-v> hmmm I think I'm gonan be adding extra traps
<\\`arner> Personally I prefer magic items that turn PCs into Otyughs to traps :)
<Warner> why take a PCs hit points away when you can go after their dignity?

<Warner> Sheesh, the longer I live the more similarities I see between DMs and Nazis
<Warner> we act like its ok to be sadistic just because our victoms are fictional charictors :)

* Warner is now picturing Gel with a keybord on his lap in his hammok roleplaying a 30 year old programmer in Utah.

<Alcar> trap w/ poly other.
<Alcar> that would be nasty
<Alcar> Turns you into a mouse when you touch it, frees 5 cats ...
<Warner> how about trap that locks you in a room and forces you to watch an eternal Gilligans Island marition interupted only by adds for psycic hotlines?
<Warner> you havn't herd the best part yet though. You leave some coconuts and vines in the room. Eventually the professor will drive them mad enough to try to use them to escape :)

<Warner> oh my god the professor has gotten to alcar!
<Warner> he actually thinks you can build a tecnology base out of coconuts and vines!
<Warner> you know the prof actually made a lie detector with those once? :P
<Alcar> well, some smart monkeys made one based on opposable thumbs. Anythings possible
<Warner> its not really how oposable the thumb is. Its how many thumbs you can get to work for minimum wage.

* Jeremy``` wanders over to the poor, unconscious human
<Jeril> *Mommy?*
<Jeril> *The light .. its hurting .. Can you shut it off? What watt is that?*
<Jeremy```> "Hmm, Lucky for you I'm in a good mood. Now let's see if I can rememer anything about human anatomy..."
<Unmentionable_Evil> Jeremy```, 1d20: 20 heal check ;P
<Jeremy```> (( WOAH ))
<Jeremy```> (( oh my friggen god ))
* Jeremy``` suddenly becomes an undead Doogie Howser

<Warner> hmm, wish anne was hear so she could tell me what a babys first fart turns into.
<Caltak> Imps, id imagine :P
<Warner> Demons probably come from dirty dipers then :)
<Caltak> hmm Plane of Crap...naw
<Warner> Milk spit up probably created door to door sales men.
<Warner> annoying but not really offensive :)

<Caltak> well im immune ta cold anyways ;)
<Caltak> cold, acid, disease, electricty....
<Baliadoc> bet you're not immune to telemarketing

<Elana-DM> Weeglar shows you to rooms where you can sleep
<Elana-DM> He says to make yourselves at home and to feel free to use his swimming pool
<Djansryl> ((is it heated? if not, I found an occupation for sparkie))
<Sandra```> (( yeah iw as wondering that too, minus the remark about sparkie ;)

* Whheeee mutters something, then strips out of his dress and jumps in the water
<Whheeee> (( I cant believe I just wrote that ... ))
<Elana-DM> (( I see a quote coming ^u^ ))
<Sandra```> (( rofl ))

* Blaze`` grabs for a cup of hard liquor that's no longer there
* Blaze`` looks at Tisrook
<Blaze``> "Oh good, you're in my hallucination. Can you beat me back into consciousness? I want to drink some more."
<Tisrook> "You're not hallucinating, but I'll beat you with pleasure."
* Tisrook pulls out his quarterstaff

* zErO-DoWn moves to Blade.
<zErO-DoWn> "In the mood for some action?"
* Blaze`` looks up at zErO-DoWn
<Blaze``> "I'm not that kinda guy."
<zErO-DoWn> "I mean encounter type action"
<Blaze``> "I don't think you're helping your cause."
<zErO-DoWn> "Fighting"
<Blaze``> "Ah... I don't pick bar fights. Bar fights pick me."

<Blaze``> "Why d'ya wanna go hunting? You look like a well fed guy, and you can get food here."
<zErO-DoWn> "Oh geez...money!Experience!"
<AlcarDM> <Racla> "Glory, early retirement due to death .. "
<zErO-DoWn> "Basically, I feel like killing something!"
<Blaze``> "When was the last time you found a bear with spare change? And if you want experience, fight a seasoned fighter. That's why I drink stuff I can't handle."

<Blaze``> "Tell you what, why don't you try to kill me? Maybe then we'll know if you should even be going out fighting things stronger and faster than you?"
<zErO-DoWn> "At which point did I say that I say that I would take on things faster and stronger than me?"
<Blaze``> "So you pray on the weak? What a coward."
<zErO-DoWn> "I "pray" on those of equal or challenging skill..moron".
<Blaze``> "How do you get better then? Isn't it sorta boring fighting those exactly like you?"

<Blaze``> "Just remember, in the game of life, some people are going to be better than you, and some people are going to be weaker. The trick is to make both parties think they have the upper hand, and then show them otherwise. A true warrior never shows his strengths. And when he does, it usually means his opponent won't live to talk about them."

<Jeramias> When we last left our heros (hee hee, calling you that cracks me up everytime) they were standing at the top of a high cliff with the ocean at the bottom

* Krysylyn looks in the entrance, not carring much what the entrance itself looks like
<Jeramias> It is hugs. The entrance is about 20 feet high and 50 yards or so accross. A lot of it looks natural, but there are also parts that have been carved away
<Jeramias> hugs = huge
<Gestris> "Something about this cave seems too friendly."
<Gestris> j/k :)

<Jeramias> A man aproches, a mean look in his eyes
<Jeramias> Then smiles and starts to laugh. "Welcome to the Continent of Grisly Death. Its odd to have visitors."
<Jeramias> "What brings you here?"
<Gestris> "The name just couldn't keep us away."

<Jeramias> "Ah, its just a name. This isn't a bad place. Very little grisly death going on right now. What say we go to the tavern and get some drinks?"
<Krysylyn> "Yeah, sure. Our companion stirred about a half hour ago, so we need to give him some more alcohol."
<Krysylyn> "He's much easier for most of us to travel with when he's unconscious."
<Gestris> "You know, I wouldn't mind if he could walk." *grumbles and follows along*

* Vestranda shakes her head, trying to keep on her feet "Wowzers .. is stwong .. "
* Krysylyn tries to recall a barbarian ever saying 'Wowzerz' before.....
<Gestris> ((you obviously never saw Inspector Gadget roleplay.))

<Gestris> 1d20+9 dc?
<Jeramias> I should be more clear, just Ges needs to make the check. Roll again btw, I wasn't paying attention to your low roll ;)
<Mentionable_Evil> Gestris, 1d20+9: 10 dc 15 again
<Jeramias> haha :)
<Gestris> did you see that one?
<Jeramias> Unfortunetly

<Gestris> Gaty, I've got a case of the deads. ya know?
<Gaty`^> huh?
<Gestris> I just got crushed by a rock. A rock, one of those solid earth-like things?
<Chaos`^> Are you deaD?

<Jeramias> "But are you sure that you just want to leave this maze that your great DM spent all of his time designing? Its really quite lovly."
<Vestranda> "That would be a great boon."
<Jeramias> "But are you sure that you just want to leave this maze that your great DM spent all of his time designing? Its really quite lovly."
<Vestranda> "I am sure. We have a dagger to find and a dicebot to castrate. That really takes precendence. We could try it again later, if you wish."
<Jeramias> "That's a shame."

* Kristea ((wonders how much XP sleeping is worth))

* Gelhalee smacks his lips trying to get the morning breath taste out, "Here now, whats all the fighting about?"
* Lyrelle looks at him 'that man is evil he killed someone and casted a spell at me"
<Tishsa> "Didn't you attack him first though?"
<AlcarDM> <Raka> (While walking) "And you tried to kill me, child."
<Lyrelle> "cause theres a dead person inside and he is evil"
<AlcarDM> <Raka> "Actually,he's not dead yet."
* Gelhalee seems remarably unflaped about the necromancer being evil

<Tishsa> "I'm sure that you had your reasons and all, but can I ask you who he was?"
<AlcarDM> <Raka> "A friend."
<AlcarDM> You're not sure you want to know what he'd do to enemies ...
<Tishsa> "What would you do to your enemies?" :)
<AlcarDM> "Have you ever seen a man tied to the wall in a dungeon and covered in bacon grease fgor rats to gnaw at him .. especially certain parts of him?"
<Tishsa> "No, but if you give me a moment I can imagin it."
* Tishsa closes her eyes and slowly starts to laugh

<Gelhalee> "By the way, why are we poking around a Necromancers house anyway? You all decided life is to long as is?"

* Gelhalee clears the hammok and makes room for our most wounded, "Araka you should probably get some rest, come lay up here"
* Araka``` (( hopes Gelhalee doesnt say to "make herslef at home" unless he likes to clean up webs :P ))
* Gelhalee sits backwords on the drivers seat and tends Araka while Ocho follows the rest of the party
<Gelhalee> ((the hammok not enough of a web for ya? :)

* Gelhalee absentmindledly intruduces himself as Sir Gelhalee, master magic shop keeper and founding member of the magic shop guild, while he holds Araka as she pukes up undead body parts.

<AlcarDM> Gel - this close to the erdge of the scrub you see a few mice, moles, buzzles and such
<Araka```> (( buzzles? ))
<Locke``> ((ack! buzzles!))
<Gelhalee> ((dont ask, you might find out))

* Araka``` is the hurt, ill, 20 cha drider ;P
* Locke`` thinks Araka is exp waiting to be earned. :)

* Gelhalee looks at lyrelle sternly, "If your gonna start whining ill turn this party around right now and go home" :)

<Gelhalee> "SNAKE!!!"
* Snake`-`- glances over his shoulder at gelhalee's yelling
<Gelhalee> "Whats wrong? what are you runing for?"
<AlcarDM> Gel, araka - you see Snake talking to ..
* AlcarDM is an old, short human woman with no hair, grey eyes and a sense of quiet stillness around her. She carries a small pouch at her side and wears a simple, but well woven grey robe
<Gelhalee> "Well don't do that! You scared me half out of my wits. and thats further out then I'd care to admit"
<Snake`-`-> (("this from a man in a bath rob"))

* Gelhalee holds out a horshound candy to her, "Imortalities not what it's cracked up to be. I should know. Care for a sweet?"
<AlcarDM> She looks at Gelhalee oddly "Hardly immortal." and accepts the candy
<Gelhalee> "Bah, semantics, living long enough that all your friends die and all of your clothing is out of fasion is bad enough"

* Snake`-`- takes off at a run again this time going ahead
* Gelhalee looks back towards snake, "What is it you have against excusing your self politely before leaving?"
* Snake`-`- mutters some thing to him self about getting rusty

<AlcarDM> Woman: "I think - mind you, I have no proof - that the world sent those who caused the war to twlight of their own making. This land is our penance. To bring back the sun you have to change the people."
<Araka```> (( Can't we just kill the people? much easier that way ;) ))
<Gelhalee> ((sheesh, why swat a fly with a swater when a shotgun will do eh?))
<Araka```> (( lol precisely ))

<AlcarDM> "Perhaps depression is what stops the sun .. I do not know. I merely think it is not here people no one believes they deserve it."
<Araka```> (( oh its depression? lets just get the whole planet high then ;) ))
<Gelhalee> "Perhaps, Though I was given a spell that is suposed to restore the sun. The problem is the casters level is far beyond mine, and it is suposed to kill the caster. Would you like to read it?"
<Gelhalee> ((prosac for the masses :))
<AlcarDM> (( "I cant die! DO you know how long the DM spent making my sheet!" ))
<Gelhalee> ((hehe, I said read it not cast it))
<Araka```> (( "Ill read it, if someone tells me what all these squiggly lines are." ))

<Reeve``> "Peer is indeed a frightful force in the Wasted World. We must always be mindful of the living dalnet. Or, more precisely, the crashing one."

<AlcarDM> For a moment you almost all feel a feeling of destiny, a rightness of purpose to you all being here and meeting. Then you realise its Ocho farting.
* Gelhalee comes into Reeves living room waving a hand infront of his face, "Oh man I just had to get away from that, Oh hi every one!"

<Gelhalee> 'You havn't lived till you've adventured with a kender with the power to polymorph it self at will"

<Gelhalee> "Snake my curse is to be imortal untill I populerize magic. if I bring back the sun I might just break my curse then and there"
<Reeve``> "And you're telling me you wouldn't want to die a legend?"
<Gelhalee> "I'd much rather die old and contented thanks"

<Snake`-`-> "i'm not a sheep, i chose my own path in life"
* Snake`-`- leaves the elf to his own undoing
<Gelhalee> ((actually if you've ever hearded sheep and cattle you know the sheep are the more independant as far as chosing paths :)
<Snake`-`-> (ok cattle then)

<Chaos`^> The woman, whom you still don't know her name, walks up to you and checks you out like a doctor would =p
<Sparkie> Chaos`^ 1d20: 10 like it matters, it's an npc.. she'll do what I tell her to do.. and she'll do it right if I want it to be right!!
<Sparkie> Chaos`^ 1d20: 16
<Chaos`^> she passes ^_^

* Alcar doubts rob is 2nd mate any more :P
<Caltak> well technically he still is until something's done about it. Which likely will be post haste ;)
<Caltak> It lowers morale a bit when you have to take orders from a toilet :P

<Brandon`> Outside the inn, sitting on an overturned bucket, is a bard, playing his mandoline and singing an odd dwarven song concerning the questionable sexual practices of the elves, and the equally questionable origins of centaurs

<Alcar> <Captain> "Oh, welcome to the dragon's gullet. Shes a bit tempermental when we use the gate spell ... "
<Alcar> An Elf slides into this stomach from the one above, covering in some slime and looking annoyed
<Itou`^> "OH.. Who's the dragon and how did it get so ****ing big?"
<Alcar> Elf: "Captain, I must protest against this. The last time you let a stranger on board we were infested with his relatives ... "
<Alcar> The dwarf who came in turns pale and looks afraid
<Alcar> The Captain ignores you and says "I thought I said no one is to mention the kender incident again?"

* Keith` does the summoning missing person dance
<_-Dirk_-> maybe if we all join hands and cal him..he will come
*** Pan`Ku has joined #game1
<Keith`> DAMN IT PAN YOUR THE RONG MISSING PERSON!
<Keith`> Go away and come back as alcar damn it!
<paula-v> damn it alcar show up

* Keith` tries that dance again
<Pan`Ku> Keith`: last time you did that, i showed up
<Sintaqx> oh no... we've all been reduced to Caltak's level!
<Pan`Ku> Keith`:you really wanna try again?
<Keith`> only so many people in the world, i'm bound to get it right sooner or later
<Sintaqx> probably later
<Keith`> most likely

* Sintaqx needs a game like a chain smoker needs a new pack.......

* Caltak throws a rock at Keith`
* Sintaqx has Keith` autograph it and throws it back at Caltak

* Bricker is humming to himself and fiddling with his crossbow
<Egan``> (( ah yes, crossbow's make great fiddles. they go out of tune far to easily though ))

* EmanTheKnight clatters along sounding like a kitchen utincil drawer being attacked by a rabid bear.

* EmanTheKnight recognizes that the battle has begun and quickly draws his sword! Then stops trying to get the shield off his back with one hand. After some strugling he puts the sword between his legs to free up his other hand. then drops the sword so picks it up again
<EmanTheKnight> ...then remembers he still needs to get the shield off

<AlcarDM> Eman currently has a foot and hand speared with his sword
<EmanTheKnight> ((mine or some one elses?))
<`Anne`> "eman... your getting the king's sword all dirty.. you know we have to give it back"
<AlcarDM> rthe goblin leaders
* EmanTheKnight looks at his sword for the first time "Eeeeeh ICK! Eeew get it off! get it off!"

* EmanTheKnight swings his sword around wildly splatering blood every where and getting even more freaked out
<Bricker> "Gods, man! Just wipe it on a plant!"
* EmanTheKnight stops and holds the sword out like a man would hold a dirty diper, "How do you get these things off?" he asks desperately
* EmanTheKnight wipes his sword on a near by dasy aparently thinking plants have some magical gore removing powers
<Bricker> "And I thought I was getting a sporting chance.."

<Bricker> "Hmm... I wonder how good this dragon's sight is..."
<Egan``> (( oh, Blindsight and Keen Sences? Id day..pretty good, Brick ;) oh but I didnt say a word ;) ))

<`Anne`> awh... if this scary dragon has a nice garden and animals- he can't be so bad
<Bricker> "Yeah. Maybe he'll just make us a good deal on a loan."
<`Anne`> hes a dragon, not a loan shark
<Egan``> (( "Dammit Jim, I'm a dragon, not a banker!" ))

* Egan`` is a red dragon who, though not really big as Red dragons go, still Huge nonetheless. He's siting in front of a somewhat large cake that in comparison looks comically small. He seems to be singing in a depressed tone: "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday, dear Egan, Happy birthday to me..."
* Egan`` shoots a jet of fire at the cake and the candles become lit :)

<Bricker> "Unless you're willing to give up some of your hoard.... where is it, by the way?"
* Egan`` almost laughs. "Horde eh? Why is it everyone seems to assume I'm rich?"
<Bricker> "Perhaps you've never heard of yourself. You're a dragon. You have a hoard. Adventurers come to seek the hoard. It's really a cut and dry thing."

* Bricker pulls out bag after bag of copper, pulling it out and watching it clink back into the bag, still encouraging the others to talk ooc :)
<Bricker> "Copper??"
<Bricker> "Alright dragon, enough of your tricks!"
* Egan`` looks at Bricker. "Yes, copper. Oh and also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't steal my money."
* `Anne` "hey.. its not nice to steal"
* Egan`` looks at Anne. "Your friend there seems a bit obsessed, but at least he hasn't moved to the senceless violence stage yet."
* Bricker looks up at the dragon, blinking, cigar hanging limply in his dropped jaw
<Bricker> "There's a whole bloody 3 gold here! Where the hell did you blow the rest of your hoard!?"

<Bricker> "Can you come back a little later? We were here first, and quite frankly, I have a bone to pick with Big Scaley over here."
<AlcarDM> The knight looks back, then calls over his shoulder "Uhm, Drak? I don't see a maiden either .. Well, a dwarf .. all dwarves look alike."
<AlcarDM> Regar looks at Bricker then asks solemnly "Are you a virgin by any chance? A maiden?"
<Bricker> "The only fair maidens you're going to find here are ones giving this sissy tips on what color of curtain to use in his lair."
<Bricker> "And you're pushing your luck too, tin can."

<AlcarDM> Regar stalks off to confer with his "dragon slaying advisor" outside. You catch the words "More fish in the sea ... yes, I know dragons aren't fish ... I douht they're birds either .... letws find another and cut your losses, shall we?"
<Bricker> "And good ridance!" *to the knight outside*
* Egan`` smiles slightly. "Well, this is a nice switch. For once a knight left and no one was killed."
<Bricker> "He was close, let me tell you."

<AlcarDM> The cake is melting
<AlcarDM> literally.
* Bricker deftly avoids the melting cake
<Bricker> "Gods! What kinda racket are you running here!?"
<Egan``> "Is that all you can think about? You need a hobby."
<Bricker> "I'm talking about your bloody cake! This is disgusting!"
<Bricker> "I've heard tales of warriors fighting ooze before, but this is ridiculous"
<Bricker> "What? Was I supposed to take my shoes off before entering your clean little cave?"

Bricker> "Hmm... the structure of the mountain really isn't all that bad. Say, Sissy, would you be interested in a bigger, better reputation?"
<_-Falor_-> "Do u have treasure..not in the form of coin?"
<Egan``> "Yes. What's in the cave, and whats outside. I'm assuming you passed it on the way in."
<Egan``> "What do you mean?"
* Bricker turns around, looking very business like all of the sudden
* Egan`` (( uh ohs ))

<Bricker> "Well, this trip was a definite bust. If I go back with Eman, and we don't have anything to show for ourselves, I'm toast, for sure."
<Bricker> "However, with my knowledge of stonework, my knowledge of explosives, and your frighteningly abysmal situation, with a bit of work, we could have a cozy little mountain citadel, and you could have quite a large hoard."
<Bricker> "Now, I'm not suggesting you have to kill anyone or anything, you're much too wimpy for stuff like that, and that's alright. But with the right attitude, and a bit of work, we could build you a beautiful little home away from.. well.. this cave."
<Egan``> "For the record, I have killed before. I don't know why I'm mentioning it, since it's not something I'm much proud of, but I mentioned it nonetheless. In any case, isn't that sceme a bit... oh I don't know...wrong?"

<Bricker> "Oh, no scheme involved. This is downright robbery. But look at it this way! We'd be robbing from the rich, and giving to... well... us."
<Egan``> "I... hmm. Well... it does... make sence, but... I mean, what about the people who we'd be robbing from? I'm sure it wouldn't be good for them in the least."
<Bricker> "Which brings me to the first order of business: working on your outlook on life."

<Bricker> "And if you don't like the idea, then here's one for you!: The dastardly dragon, who steals from the man, and brings them down to the level of their impoverished peasants. You'd be a peasant hero!"
<Bricker> "Trust me, I know how to spread a good story. All you need are a few drinks, a couple of worthless humans, maybe an elf or two, those bastards really can't hold a drink, and Boom! Instant legend!"

<Egan``> (( well an ending of "and so we stop here and dont make wild assumptions of the future" works too ))
<Bricker> ((well, save that for another one shot, with Egan the Sissy and Bricker the Clever. (of course, you'll be Egan the Terrible when I tell the story, but that's just my pet name for you ;))
<Egan``> (( I may just have to drop a large rock on your head :) ))

<AlcarDM> Dog: "You smell like me. Funny smell, not smell, all smell." It glares at you
<Tishsa> "I smell like you? Are you suggesting that I'm a dog?"
<Tishsa> "Or that you are part of me?"
<AlcarDM> The dog looks at you, and barks a laugh (literally) "You think Im just a dog? I am legion, old and ancient, reinventing myself as master and slave .. I contain multitudes. Especially on weekends.,"
<Tishsa> "Uh, sure. So you are many creatures?"
<AlcarDM> The dog nods its head, and wags its tail

<Tishsa> "So, are you just going to insult me and get angry because I smell odd?"
<AlcarDM> The dog looks at you "I could always piss on your leg and mark my territory if it would help."
<Tishsa> "No, I'd rather have some explination."

* Reeve`` busts through the door, into the kitchen, and, like any good fighter, checks the pot on the stove to see if the watery double is out yet :)
<AlcarDM> You look into the pot?
<Reeve``> yup ;)
<AlcarDM> Ok, Reeve looks into the water, and a mini-reeve begins coming out of the pot
* Reeve`` stops, looks at himself, and groans
<Reeve``> "That's twice now! Gods, why does he have these things?!"
* Reeve`` jumps back
<AlcarDM> Reeve begins getting out of the pot
<Reeve``> "So, we meet again. For the first time."

<Reeve``> "You need the blood of a virgin dragon, and he's the only one I know about."
<Tishsa> "A virgin dragon? Ha ha ha."
<Reeve``> "I wouldn't laugh. He's a bit touchy about it, from what I've heard."
<Gelhalee> "Reeve tell me every thing you know about this dragon. Specificly anything he wants."
<Reeve``> "To get laid."
<Gelhalee> "Uggg"
<Reeve``> "You asked."

* Gelhalee closes his eyes and makes a very pained look then yells at the sky "I am not a dating service!"
<Gelhalee> "How do I get mixed up in these things"
<Reeve``> "You travel with snake, most likely."
<Reeve``> "Then just kill the bugger, and you're set for life."
<Gelhalee> "It's a dragon Reeve, theres no 'just' about killing them"
<snake`-`-> "there is no just about killing gods eather but that hasn't stopped me in the past"

* Gelhalee gives Ocho a suger cube to bribe him into forgiving him for loading up the cart
<Gelhalee> "ok ok two suger cubes"
<AlcarDM> Ocho stamps a hoof, not moving
* Gelhalee sighs, "Why can't I have a normal poney like everybody else?"
<Gelhalee> "For three I'd beter not get any backtalk till tonight"
* Gelhalee gives the 3rd cube with a stern look
<AlcarDM> Ocho has it and is now nice and calm and a joy to be with
<Gelhalee> (Joy? what was on those cubes? acid?)
<Gelhalee> ((Thats all I'd need, Ocho on a psyodelic trip))

<Miiri> "I believe the typical being should spend a few hundred years dead before they can truely appreciate life."

<Gelhalee> "Unless there is somthing we're forgetting Reeve. We've got the amulet, directions to the virgin dragon, and absolutely no sence of self preservation. What more do we need?"

<Gelhalee> "Oh, your one of those. Yes that would explane it. Nastly stuff. Not that I have anything against the mental powers and those who use them mind you. Last one I ran into did a nice job white washing my shop"
<Gelhalee> ((said with all the convicing power the phrase "some of my best friends are black" has :)

* Araka` is looking at something that isnt there off to the side
* Miiri thinks the drider has a brain tumor or something, but now lacks the psionics to make sure :)
* Reeve`` doesn't think we'd need psionics. we can just split her head open and look :)

<AlcarDM> Ocho got 3 sugar cubes and heads south with proper decorum and haste, even missing most of the pot holes
<Gelhalee> ((definately acid laced suger cubes))
<Miiri> ((Alright, Who cast Expeditious Retreat and Temporary Insanity on the Sugar Cubes!))

<AlcarDM> The elves watch some of their own, an old elf in a hammock, a spider thing, a strange dog and a flying woman and the rest of the PCs leave and think to themselves "This'll make a fine story someday."
<Reeve``> "No, no it won't. I'm gonna go drink, and try to forget it."
* Miiri will make sure the next time she dies she will come back as a ghost to keep Reeve company))
<Araka`> (( hey! I gotta do that!! ;) ))

<Reeve``> "You need the blood of a virgin dragon, and he's the only one I know about."
* Gelhalee stops dead in his tracks, "Did you say dragon?"
* snake`-`- while walking twords reeves manchen "can't be any worse then a god"

<Warner> I think this bears asking again: how hard up for clean water do you have to be to use mysterous water a dryder gave you from a exentric wizards cart?
<Baliadoc> maybe she thought it was spice *shrug*
<Baliadoc> since when do little combat plot lines pay attention to what they're throwing into the cookpot?
<Alcar> hehe. actually araka gave it to an elf child who gave it to his mom who simply dumped it in the cook pot as normal water because her husband (falor) had it left it outm while exmaining it
<Warner> theres a mom to keep away from your ink wells

<Mr_Keith> fair worning i'm kinda drunk right now, and its going to be an hour or so befor i sober up
<Mr_Keith> so lets see how many times i can missread some info and kill some one :)

* Alumar realy does need to find a good formilar for a half vampire
<AlcarDM> the npc would be willing to share Aisha
<AlcarDM> You could have the first time share familiar
<AlcarDM> rent to own plan
<Alumar> LOL
<Alumar> i don't think that would work

<Izayus> "Alright lets begin our search"
<Salem_> it should not be hard.. just throw out some" reeses pieces candy" and them buggers will come running...
* Izayus grins
<Salem_> hey- it worked in ET

<Izayus> i'm right to say dave is ..like the one in the hallway?
<Alcar> yup
<Alcar> but dead - he was hit straight on
<Izayus> well Maybe a Team Work will bring the sucker back
* Izayus was smart and sent in the red shirt

<keith`> ok, i thought of a small speach the other night and i'm not going to let you off the hook on it
<keith`> we are gatherred here the broke, the straped for cash and the jobless. we pay homage to the past rpg systems that thankfully are out of copy right and now free
<keith`> and with out a further ah do i persent to you Star Frontiers, argumentalbie one of the late TSR's better systems
<keith`> alcar please be kind enought to quote that and here we go!

<n|teshade> ((Sorry if I don't seem to be paying much attention, I'm actually in the middle of a crisis here....))
<keith`> (don't worry about it, if it gets too anowing i'll kill your pc)

* Mechara opens the door and goes out
<Mechara> "We come in Peace"
* Mechara does the hand sign
<Kirith> "Ok. We cant really disgise Mechara ... " as he comes back with supplies then stops "We come in .. dear gods, dont tell me cheap holo vids reached your world?"

<Kirith> he offers 12,000 credits for it?
<Mechara> "Can you make that 17,000"
<Mechara> ((we need 17 to pay han solo to take us off this rock))

<Mr_Keith> ok, so i gess we will just end it here
* Mechara opens up his microwave gun and fries the humans

* Tisrook looks wildly for a well to jump in :)
<Tisrook> Of course, I am wise enough to drop my pack :)
<AlcarDM> int check, dc 5 :p
<AlcarDM> to notice that the well is empty :p
<Sparkie> Tisrook 1d2+3: 4
* AlcarDM stares ....
<Tisrook> That was a typo! I don't fail
<Sparkie> Tisrook 1d20+3: 4
<Tisrook> Gods no!!!
* Blaze`` comes walking outside, still apologizing
<AlcarDM> Blaze sees Tisrook leaping INTO the well ...
<Tisrook> The things you'll do when drenched in perfume

<AlcarDM> the well remains empty ... Alumar isn't sure why there is a rope down to the bottom, since only an idiot would leap into an empty well
* Tisrook assasinates Sparkie
* Alumar` pulls up the rope to see if he gets any responce
<AlcarDM> no response Alumar
* Alumar` lowers the rope back down again
<Alumar`> "hay blaze, do me a favor, see that no one pulls this rope up"
<Blaze``> "And why not? It's a rope to a well."
<Alumar`> "its an empty well, i'm going to see whats at the bottum"
<Blaze``> "Some of Tisrook's blood."

<Blaze```> "Ignorance is bliss, Tisrook."
<Tisrook> "No, no it isn't."
* Blaze``` really wishes he had a straw he could be sucking on, so he could look all wise-farmer-like
<Blaze```> "You obviously try to learn too much then."
<Tisrook> "If someone is going to hit you in the back of the head and you don't know about it, it still hurts."
<Tisrook> "If you know about it you can try to dodge."
<Blaze```> "Tisrook, not only is ignorance bliss, but so is not finding every small little loophole in someones statement."
* Tisrook waits for Blaze``` to get off his gaurd before he hits him in the back of the head :)

<Alumar`> impressive dagger
<AlcarDM> yeah, and you got 3 of them :)
<Alumar`> and to think the only thing i did was offer to kill a vampire

<RipTide`> "You know, you could be a bit more respectful of the dead, dude."
* Salem_ laughs
<Izayus> "Salem i think this is your kind of work"
* Salem_ glares at lzayus " what? you want me to raise a dead cow... you got to be insane
<Salem_> gee- whats it gona say "mooo.... i was fucked by ET?"
<Izayus> "Well no i mean you like playing with the dead "
* Salem_ sneers at thim " i dont *play* with the dead"

<Salem_> "izayus killed that guy... not me.. and whats with the vine crap"
<RipTide`> "What are you saying!? If they saw anything, they're dead!"
<Salem_> i don't care... i seen worse.. history repeats...
<RipTide`> "Oh shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!"
* Salem_ smiles to rip " hey- i bet you say that to all the pretty gals"

* Salem_ is on the bike with david.. "lets roll... i am sick of playing with boys...
* RipTide` fucks it all and freezes Salem
<Warner> the lines "playing with boys" and "fuck it all" appeared a little to close together there for my comfort

<Alcar> David and Salem Zoom off from the farmhouse. The leader of the cult is still out old
* Izayus goes over to the leader
* Izayus swings his axe down at the leaders neck
<RipTide`> "Izayus! We need to question him!!"
* Izayus mutters "it was your kind that killed our kind off"
* Hubert``` looks over at Izayus
<Hubert```> "Damn it, what is with you and killing everyone?" *sigh*
<Izayus> "We can still ask him questions"
<RipTide`> "Shut up, Izayus."

<David`-`-> "Dead cows?"
<Salem_> yea- some x file shit
<David`-`-> "you have no clue how strange life can be"
<Salem_> try me... my life is stranger than yours
<David`-`-> (oh wait, she called faline her step mom she knows full well how strange life is)

<Shargos> "Snake..it is not the amulet that will bring the sun back..but the way they bring the hope to the world as they atemp to do it"
<Baliadoc> ((i want my amulet back then!))
<Baliadoc> ((rassel frammin' people want all my freakin' goodies. probably won't even use it, and just sell it for 5 gold to some sleazy merchant. Ay yi yi.))
<Snake`-`> (is that how much gel is offering for it?)

<Jeremy```> "Well, this should prove to be interesting I think."
* Buck` looks at Jeremy "Huh?"
* Jeremy``` look over at Buck` almost looking amused, but mostly emotionless. "Look at his face."
<Buck`> emotionless amusement? wow ...
<Buck`> sort of like zen facial expressions?
<Jeremy```> (( no, emotionless, but almost looking amused. lol ))

* Buck` canters off to find Jeremy, yelling for help .. ."Help! Neigh! Help! Mist person!"
* Vlad_the_Impaler` Screams Very loudly "HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLP,HELP ME PLEASE"
<Darkkin> buck runs into a skeleton hung on a tree with a note on it
* Buck` apologises, then realises that makes little sense
* Buck` reads the note

* Buck` tries to break the stone with the oar
<Darkkin> You do and vlad stands there again...looking shocked
* Buck` swings again .. hoping to kill him this time
<Vlad_the_Impaler`> FUCKER
<Darkkin> he's now a big diamond
* Buck` stares at it, then blinks, shakes his head and rides away, following Jeremy for lack of anything else to do
* Buck` is looking at the oar nervously
<Vlad_the_Impaler`> ((Geez Ruin my first game Ever"

<Darkkin> You walk/trot afew mines then the sun or somthing like it starts to come up
* Jeremy``` looks up
<Buck`> or something like it? as in?
<Buck`> a big smiley face?
<Jeremy```> "Shit!"
<Darkkin> no :P
* Jeremy``` looks for any dark place nearby
<Darkkin> under buck
<Jeremy```> uhm...anywhere else? :P

<Darkkin> Jeremy sees somthing he once had in his own land
<Darkkin> its a Coffin
* Jeremy``` actually looks releived (an emotion! I cant believe it!) "If they werent trying to destory me constantly, I'd thank a God right now!"

<Buck`> "Your a vampire!"
<Buck`> "Oh, that explains the mist .... "
<Buck`> "Vampires drink the blood of the living to survive tho ... that makes them evil .. " looks at the coffin
* Buck` hefts the oar and looks at it, then the coffin "He didn't want to save an innocent either ... "
<Darkkin> The oar goes red and hums again
* Buck` swings the oar at the coffin
<Jeremy```> (( oh god its a lightsabre ;P ))
<Jeremy```> (( damn you to Hell, horse-boy! ))
<Darkkin> He just ruined your TV inside the coffin..
.
<Jeremy```> "If you dont stop, those wolves I just called will kill you!"
* Jeremy``` is starting to sound desperate
<Buck`> "Then I die for a good cause ... no more animals will fall under your vile powers."
<Jeremy```> "Uh..I..uhm...I can reform? Yeah! I can uhm, work for good and all that!"
<Buck`> "How?"
<Jeremy```> "I donno..what do you good people do anyway? Slay evil or some such? I could do that!"

<Alcar> hmm, first session i've played when my pc tried to kill all other pcs ...
* Alcar shudders .. imagine if I'd been a paladin ....
<Darkkin> Might make you a paladin alcar
<Darkkin> oh my...and with that oar...
<Darkkin> Ever hear of the God Kahoolie
<Darkkin> God of Revenge
<Darkkin> Might make you a paladin alcar
<Caltak> LOL a Holy Avenger Oar :)
<Darkkin> Thats kinda what it is
<Caltak> he'd be the laughing stock of the paladins

<Caltak> hmmm we should have an Alternity game where the PCs end up in D&D :)
<Caltak> "You're going to use what on the lich?" "A blaster." "Oh. Is that some sort of magic wand?"
* Keith` wants to be a dwarf named Red if we are playing an alternity game were the pc's get stuck in D&D

* Shadowkin grabs locke by the caller and stands him up and a flash of light can be seen as locke is healed
<Shadowkin> "Why don't you follow snake and aid him"
* Locke`` shakes his head, blinking a bunch
<Locke``> "Huh?? Ugh... wha?"
<Shadowkin> "Are you all going to stand around and do nothing?
<Locke``> "I'm quite sorry my dying isn't fitting into your schedule. Would you mind telling me where he went?"

* Tynelis looks at the cat, sips his ale (I'm gonna be an alcoholic before this night is over with)

<Tynelis> "it's such a sad thing to see a world reduced to this"
<Snake`-`-`-> "yah, what do you know about it?"
<Tynelis> "friend, there's so much difference that ye would not be aware of"
<Tynelis> "I long for a lush green forest"
<Locke``> "Paint a picture then."
<Tynelis> "it's not the same"
<Tynelis> "not the same at all"

* Snake`-`-`- leaves the taver and takes the abbit back to his church
<AlcarDM> The abbot gets another chapter in his book "The Life of Snake" done ... pity its going to look like Vannilla Ice's biography by the time the editors get to it
<Snake`-`-`-> (figurs)

<AlcarDM> <Dirgan> The tiger looks up "You're looking for food?" It raises a paw west "Lots of birds near the ruins."
* Tynelis stops in mid stride and turns his head to the tiger
<Locke``> "Oh, thanks! We'll go check it out."
<Tynelis> "this world never ceases to amaze me"
<Locke``> "I think that's why a lot of people turn to drink."

<AlcarDM> Most of the clerics just ask for a generic blessing. And to see you, touch you .. usual stuff
<Snake`-`-`-> as if my blessing would do them any good but ok, as fair as touch, i'll shake each of there hands
* Snake`-`-`- gets the sad fealing this church is going to become a meca
<AlcarDM> shrines and all :)
* Snake`-`-`- (shakes his head)
<AlcarDM> the many problems of being a god ;)
<Snake`-`-`-> (god i hope they don't start with the human sacrifces they start doing that and i'll go kill who ever had the bright idea)
<Snake`-`-`-> after that if i'm not summoned off on other godly duties i'll head back to the taver for a much needed drink

* Tynelis curses his inexplanable desire for adventure
* Locke`` collects a few corpses
<Tynelis> "everything in me wants to check this out!"
<Tynelis> "but all that is reasonable in me says no..go back to the inn"
<Tynelis> "what do you think?"
<Locke``> "Well, why don't we? Nothing's certain in life but death, so it's not like we should be surprised if we die or not."

* Tynelis wonders if he could have a wisdom check to realize this is a STUPID IDEA!
<Tynelis> j/k

<AlcarDM> You see a small shape, like a rabbit, just inside the entrance
<Locke``> "Uh oh. Hold up."
* Locke`` points out the rabbit of death
<Tynelis> "why am I scared of a rabbit?"
<Locke``> "I'm willing to bet that's not a normal rabbit."
<Tynelis> "of course not..nothing in this world is normal"
<Tynelis> "cats talk, and crows glow, and rabbits probably turn into pitfiends!"

* Locke`` slides the blade into the things head, right between the eyes
<AlcarDM> The hound drops dead
<Shadowkin> ((how do you get the hound off the sword tho))
<Locke``> "Oh. Now I remember why I'm a wizard."
* Locke`` looks at the other wolf, grinning evilly

<Sparkie> Locke`` 1d20+4: 11 - wizard rage!
<Locke``> damned wizards and their puny rage.
<Sparkie> AlcarDM 1d20+4: 9 - dying hound rage :)
<Shadowkin> wizard rage is Fireball not a sword
<Sparkie> Locke`` 1d20+4: 14 - piddly fighting style go!
<Locke``> sigh... we're both pretty sad...

<Keith`> yep, were we last left our heros they just sold a stolen military shuttle
<Kirith> "Ok, Mechara, wasn't it? We need something to do with you or some way to hide you .... " looks at Mechara curiously "Do you do windows?"
<Mechara> "I run windows yes"
<Kirith> "Actually, I was wondering if you cleaned them. Poor joke."

* Kirith walks into the bar
* Mechara follwos
* Mechara edits his memory to have it say follows

<Keith`> you were payed all on to one card so..
<Keith`> pick who took all of it and thats how it will be
<Maxine^^^^> (dman you keith your wrecking our plans)
<Keith`> thats a dm's job is it not :)

<Baliadoc> hmm... hey keith, if i join this game, can i get a skill in omnipotence? Alcar won't let me.
* Kirith already said being the DM isn't an allowed skill :p
<Baliadoc> but i'm not the DM! even the DM can make mistakes ;)
<Baliadoc> i'd be better than the DM :)
<Keith`> omnipotence? LOL if you did it would be increadably costly to level up and a 0% as a bace

<Hubert``> "Well, whatever other goals they might have aside, that their main goal is to stop the Greys. And I agree with that."
<AlcarGM> Vincent frowns and nods "And then what? Do you think either of you are human? Truly?"
<Hubert``> "No." *simply*
<RipTide``> "Of course not. I am Brahman."
<AlcarGM> Vincent looks at RipTide, confused "Pardon?"
<RipTide``> "At least, I'm trying to be."

* Riptide` runs down the street, keeping his eyes open for any signs of vincent
<AlcarGM> ok .. you see lots of small novelty shops .. an apartment complex and the suburban sprawl around it ... no bodies around, so he could be anywhere
<Riptide`> "Ugh! We coulda just played it cool and gotten closer to him... but no! We have to uphold high moral standards. Ugh. Give me a sign!"
* Riptide` looks towards the sky
<AlcarGM> The sky rumbles ominously, promising rain

<Riptide`> "Now, why'd you have to go and make such a big hullabaloo? We could've gotten to the root of this thing."
<Hubert``> "I was the one making the hullabaloo? Ah, so I guess I was the one trying to kill the staff of a McDonalds. Right."
<Riptide`> "You know, I hate senseless violence just as much as you, but in that case we might have actually gained from it."

<Darkkin> Wizard of Oz ...take out the little people and replace them with ordi..they eat the others before she gets droped in
<Caltak> "Hey, you dropped a house on our Wicked Witch Roast!
<Darkkin> "Ah crap its shrinking..now hmmm hey..you'd make a good meal"
<Darkkin> "Oh look she even has a snack too.."
<Alcar> scarecrow fuel for the fire
<Darkkin> Tin-man to cook them all
<Caltak> tin man hammered into a cookpot
<Darkkin> i'd love to see a party come onto that
<Caltak> the fire's screaming and the cookpot is murmering "oil can"

<Alcar> why DO elves get a save against charm spells?
<Alcar> Is it their pointy ears?
* Darkkin thinks its cuz there so damn tasty
<Baliadoc> i think it's because they come from a long line of geeks who just don't get it when ladies hit on them. Even magically.
<Alcar> horses on the other hand ...
<Alcar> or wildlife in general
<Baliadoc> yeah, they're just hippy geeks :)

* Sintaqx casts Improved Sleep (also known as Bigby's smashing fist) on Warner
<_-Dirk_-> and if that deosn't cut it....get urself some epheneprhine
<Warner> with friends like dirk who needs pharmacies

<AlcarGM> Ok, you follows Kris' somewhat roundabout directions and end up at a small pet shop in the poor parts of town.
<AlcarGM> Leaving a jeep here normally would be insane
<AlcarGM> The homes are mostly old, falling apart and close to being condemned. The pet shop is in better shape than most of the buildings, but not the best either. A lot of pimps and prostitutes are out on the streets
* Riptide`` pulls out a sticky pad and writes a note, sticking it on the wheel that says "Dude, stealing is just so bad for your Kharma. There's five bucks under the seat for you. That's a start."

<Riptide``> "And as I just remembered you still have my gun, this would be a good time to build up some trust. I have a feeling that PS put us close together for a reason. So, if we're gonna be working together alot, we need to trust each other."
<Hubert```> "It very well could be."
<Hubert```> "Oh, right, forgot."
* Hubert``` gives Riptide back his gun
<Riptide``> "No worse than you shooting your mouth off at a poor McD's wizard."
* Hubert``` smiles slightly. "Do you realize how odd that sentance sounded?"
<Riptide``> "In a world with were-creatures, vampires, aliens and who knows what else, you think a sentence like that is weird?"

* Baliadoc looks for a good group of young female bards. We can name them "Josey and the red dragons!"
<Caltak> nooooooooo
* Caltak crys... "the horror..."
<Baliadoc> omigod! Then i get a bunch of wizards together, work out a contract, and we get tons of crystal balls, which we set up with layman's scrying abilities, and we have a weekly show about the silly situations Josey and the Red Dragons get themselves into, of course, starring our hero, Egan the Terrible!
* Caltak beats his head on the wall
<Caltak> wait a second..what am I doing??
* Caltak beats Baliadoc's head against the wall

<Baliadoc> you're just mad because you didn't think of this all first :)
<Caltak> no I'm mad because its INSANE :P
<Baliadoc> bah. it's great! all your characters seem to just need a good turn in the right direction. That's what my characters are here for :)
<Caltak> thats it, ill just wait till you're not on to play lol

* Vestranda frowns and looks for a way to climb it
<Jeramias> You can just try :)
* Vestranda tries to then
<Jeramias> When you put your hand on the stone, it slides through.
* Vestranda blinks in shock, then shrugs and walks through it
<Jeramias> Oh shit, I wasn't expecting that. Gimmie a sec to alter my plot idea.
* Jeramias is kidding ;)

<Krysylyn> "I think we are metaphorically fucked."
<Vestranda> "We're going to fall ... "
* Krysylyn hates it when a DM says 'Trust Me'
<Jeramias> You stop, Krys?
<Krysylyn> yup
<Jeramias> Trust me, you can keep going ;)
* Gestris is glad he has proof that women get lost too :)
<Gestris> "Maybe we should stop and ask for directions."

* Krysylyn hopes the light at the end of the tunnel is not the odd gnomish invention called the 'train'

<Shadow-AKA-snake> "I've got places to go, i wouldn't fallow unless you want to die, or end up like him" *jurks a thumb at tynelis and his owner*
* Shadow-AKA-snake gets up and heads out the door
* Locke`` looks at Snake
<Locke``> "Why does he even bother following a group?"
<Locke``> "Have you ever really gotten into so much trouble that he needed some human shields before he went on?"

<Miiri> "Whatever you do, be careful when you eat turkey."
<Miiri> "You never know what god it might be."
<Faline> (( I dont even know what shes talking about and I think thats funny ))
<Miiri> ((I just had to bring that one up :) ))

<Miiri> "If you get a horse, and it act's funny, don't be surprised.... especially if it turns into a wolf or a dragon when you aren't looking."

<AlcarDM> OK, outside the sun is shining cheerfully and people are going about their daily lives, unaware of what might be and what has happened
* Locke`` groans as he goes outside again
<Locke``> "I'm gonna need a bloody hat."

* Baliadoc begs spark for a nice roll
<Baliadoc> stats(5)
<Sparkie> Baliadoc, arrange these stats to taste: 18 18 14 13 12 10 (85)
<Baliadoc> see? was that so hard? :)
* Baliadoc thinks it evil of spark to make him get down on his hands and knees and beg though.

* Alcar alreadty added the whole elf/centaur thing to the Lands of Blood as a legend :)
<Baliadoc> hmm... now you have a cleric who worships himself, and a monk who shunned becoming a member of the outer plane for superior knowledge of interior decoration :)
<Baliadoc> that'd be funny! I want to play an elf whose defect is that he was born a centaur :)

<Alcar> and you've got a calien with you too :)
<Baliadoc> sigh. that. a buddhist cat from an alternate earth. the crazy things you find at a pet shop

<Djetahn> Anyone who plays a level 4 character with 120k worth of magical items and immunities to three forms of damage, including slashing wounds, is in my book a munchkin

*** GanjaBoy has joined #game1
<GanjaBoy> 3e game going on in here?
<Alcar> you must missed it GanjaBoy
<Alcar> It ran out towards #ad&d and just stopped for tea and scones
<GanjaBoy> just missed it?
<Alcar> yup
<GanjaBoy> it ran out?
<Alcar> Yeah. Some games get like that. Happens when the DM loses control of it
*** GanjaBoy has left #game1

* Armin``` attaches his grenade launcher to the assault rifle
<Riptide``> "Being a little extreme, are we?"
<Armin```> "They're Vampires"
<Hubert``> "He does have a point. But...we should probably stay a bit back from him when he fires."

<Sintaqx> Ideal role playing campaign: Long periods of roleplay punctuated by short periods of gratuitious violence. Typical role playing campaign: Long perios od gratuitious violence punctuated by obscene periods of gratuitious violence.

<AlcarGM> Comte: "Oh, yes, and explain why you didn't get out ofthe keep to help the others, perhaps?" mildly
<Hubert``> "If you explain why you don't seem to have any of the energy flowing through you that everyone else does."
<AlcarGM> Comte stops, puts his drink down and sighs "I think not." His pistol is in his hand and pointed at your head before you blink
<Riptide``> "My keen eastern-oriented perceptions tell me that there's some hostility here."

* Baliadoc was almost gonna classify him as a Warrior of the Dawn, of sorts. What better power than Satan to get your ass moving in the morning? :)
<Alcar> santa works tooo
<Baliadoc> that's just wrong :)
<Alcar> The ghostwalker drifted into the town, a forlorn and silent figure. The people stopped, knowing in a way that went beyond knowing, that he was hear to protect them from evil. But everything has a price. The figure bent low and sais softly, his voice carried with the wind "I need an Elmo doll. Do you have one?"
<Baliadoc> so wrong, in fact, that i'm gonna call it a night. (okay, the real reason is that i need to get a full night's sleep, but hey, it fit into the conversation)

<MyBrains> you know the explaination for werewolves?
<Sintaqx> which one, the magical one, the mythical one, or the scientific one?

<Sintaqx> nah, most elves average 4.5 - 5.5 feet in height.. dwarves are 4 - 4.5 feet
<Sintaqx> halflings are 2.75 - 3.5 feet
<Sintaqx> nobody cares about half-orcs and half-elves... many speculate that if you trace back their orcish or elven liniage you will find that not only are they the same race, they are also the major cause of all the fucked up animals in the forests

<Aytores> ((Wizards and Sorcerers! Cast off your evil ways and embrace the purity of psionics! For only 5gp/week I will teach you to master the Way. No longer will you be constrained by messy components, Silly handwaving, and funny phrases!"))
<Tisrook> (<( You send me the 27 bucks to buy the book and I'll join you're cause :) )>)

* Tisrook goes off to look for books on the Darkan Wood. Hopefully they are out in the open since they aren't directly magic
<AlcarDM> one book on the wood itself. Written on paper made of elf skins
<AlcarDM> It basically says. The wood is evil. Flesh is good. Killing fun. Eat them all. My mind is there cage. hahhaa.
* Tisrook assumes that the writer lost his ming because of the wood. I'm safe then, right?

<Aytores> Cursed weapon.. the Sword of Microsoft: Semi-intelligent, thinks it has 18 int, wis, cha, and thinks it's a +8 vorpal sword of sharpness. In reality it's a +3 sword that needs to be sheathed after every round it is used.

<Tisrook> How much exp if I re-unite the Darkan woods with Hope's Doom and destroy the world?
<AlcarDM> HAHAH
<Tisrook> I really need to make it to level 7. So, how much? :)
<AlcarDM> no world = lack of exp :)
<Tisrook> Ah, was worth a try though, right?

<Tisrook> Would you LET a PC destroy the world? :)
<AlcarDM> Do you have to ask that?
<Tisrook> Yeah, I know that you kinda want to start Glob, and killing Verise would do the trick :)
<AlcarDM> will save :)
<Tisrook> No! I don't want to destroy the world. Not without consenting the other PCs anyway. Gimme a sec to ask them

<Blaze```> "What in the nine hells have you done, Tisrook!?"
<Tisrook> "I didn't do anything!"
<Tisrook> "But isn't this a good tree?"
<Blaze```> "You wiped out a few city blocks for a tree??"

<Tisrook> !wildmagic tree
<Sparkie> Wild magic effect 3922 is: tree develops an intense desire to swim upstream and spawn
<Tisrook> This is usules..
<Tisrook> !wildmagic tree
<Sparkie> Wild magic effect 4003 is: tree finds clothing uncomfortable in the presence of royalty
<Tisrook> !wildmagic tree
<Sparkie> Wild magic effect 4089 is: tree has a birthmark identifying him as a royal heir
<Tisrook> None of these were intended as plants for targers, were they? :)

<Blaze```> "I hate women. God damned bitches. Who the fuck decided that all men weren't gods? We should just be able to create more life, and it should be more men. God dammit."
* Aytores ignores the sexist tirade

<Tisrook> I figured that I'd be able to kill the tree while it was still small. I should've cast the flaming hands instead of jokingly debating letting it grow. This is the last wild mage I'm gonna play for quite a while...

<Jeramias> This is the last wild mage I play for a while. I'd be safer playing a kender

<Jeramias> I'll have to go be a loner planting trees like Johnny Appleseed, except apple trees don't have aspirations to rule the world ;)
<Keith`> call him tisrook crapple seed

<WarnerDM> Anyway, a dim but unearthly light draws your attention to the room the bottles have gathered in and a queit cours of angles vocalize each time you glance its way. If you didn't know better you'd thing the gods we're droping hints as subtle as a lead anker on a skin diver.

<WarnerDM> reawen gets 3 more bottles before the wine rack decides the game is moving to slow and attacks rewen!
<Reawen> it what?
<WarnerDM> in a fit of pique the rack gives its life to do reawen 1d4 damage

* Warner resists the urge to put a white rabbit in this story :)
<Robert``> (( naw go ahead, Chirbris wll just eat it ))
<WarnerDM> "I'm late! I'm late! for a very.. *Ulp*"
<Robert``> (( Reawen would steal the gold watch, and Chirbris would have some chilled rabbit ;) ))
<WarnerDM> Chirbris can now be heard ticking when ever he aproches (going from one fairy tail to the next...)
<Chirbris> OOC - (( smacks the dm to bring him back to the tale ))
<Robert``> (( dont hit him, you might knock him out by accident! :P ))

<WarnerDM> Next game: Tremble in feer as you face the most horable creation in all of ad&d. The adventure party from my high school days! And you thought you knew munchkin. :)

<Warner> I play D&D for the same reason I use windows. It sucks but its the standard.

<Chaos`^> the vine wiggles around but pretty much acts like a plant that's being burned..
* Salimah lets the plant burn until it's limp, then puts the fire out with dirt
* Salimah wonders, in the back of her mind, how much experience this will give her
<Chaos`^> CR 3
<Salimah> wow
* Salimah wonders how much exp she will get if she burns down the whole forest......

* Riptide`` plunks a few quarters in Hugh, figuring his time is up, and he needs some more money before playing some more :)
* Hubert`` just doesnt have anything to say right now, actually

<Riptide``> "Did you have to shoot him!?"
<Hubert``> "Oh, no, of course not. I could hae let him shoot you. Which he was seconds from doing."
<Riptide``> "I had it under control. Notice the little gun-cicles?"
<Hubert``> "Yeah, you had it under control once you did something. THat one guy would have shot you before you could though. But that's not important anymore."
<Riptide``> "He's a hick! He probably couldn't hit the building behind me without your help."

* Riptide`` shakes the were
* Riptide`` hoping it is indeed a were, and not just a vamp coming from a costume party :)

<Riptide``> "You're homeless? Damn, that sucks. Look, if you want a place to crash, here's my address too."
* Riptide`` scribbles his address on the piece of paper, handing it back
<AlcarGM> He looks at Rip, then says "Trusting, aren't we?" in a strange tone of voice
* Hubert`` looks at Rip and was thinking the same thing :P
<Riptide``> "Hey, everyone needs a chance."
<AlcarGM> He looks at you for one long moment then nods "I .. thanks... " He walks away quickly, a were moose wolf vanishing into the shadows

<Hubert``> "Here's a theoretical question: how would you feel about surf boards that have been used as a chew toy?"
<Riptide``> "Come again?"
<Hubert``> "oh, nothing."
* Riptide`` checks his surfboard
<AlcarGM> The board is fine
<Riptide``> "That was mean."
<Riptide``> "Unless you're referring to something else."
<Hubert``> "Sorry."
<Hubert``> "Well, did-er, do you have much stuff at your place?"

<Alcar> can you think of a good danric-=ish quote I can toss in the topic after cal leaves? :)
<Baliadoc> lol! you bastard :)
<Baliadoc> hmm... lemme think
<Alcar> <Simon```> "Wow Dan .. I mean, I didnt think I'd see you again. Thwe world seems to much more .. peaceful without Faline ... "
<Baliadoc> <Danric> "Faline's loose again? Fuck. The next time she gets shipped to an alternate reality, remind me to get a Club the size of the fucking universe. I hate it when people break into my reality."
<Baliadoc> lol, looks like we were thinking at the same rate :)

<Alcar> this is a modern earth game :)
<luckyguy23> oh u mean guns and stuff
<Alcar> and modern pcs .. private investigators and the like
<luckyguy23> what do i do
<luckyguy23> in D&D i love play half orcs
<Alcar> play a redneck :)
<luckyguy23> ok

<Wyatt``> "You're a pretty funny guy. This could turn out to be fun after all."
<Hubert``> "I wasn't trying to be funny."
<Wyatt``> "That's what's so damned funny."

<Hubert``> is that the same all the time or does it ever clear up at least enough to get anything else? :P
<Wyatt``> oh, it drops off every now and then, goes to what's going on at the moment, if it's interesting, then goes back to some form of gloomy vision :)
<Wyatt``> you get the feeling that my mind isn't exactly "in tact," or "built logically," or "is about as fucked up as Pamela Lee after a wild night of partying in Tommyland, before they got divorced"

<Wyatt``> "Do you always insult people who can kick your ass?"

<AlcarGM> <Kris> "If the mayor is a rat ... an urban mage I guess .. hes got a lot of power. Maga stuff .. like superman or something .. " he blinks "Oh, hell. I forgot I was grounded .. dad is going to kill me ... "
<Wyatt``> "This sounds serious. I'll call in to PS. If you're deemed to be more important than first thought, your dad won't kill you."
<Hubert``> "Listen, don't get PS involved, they'll likely do something crazy and unnessessary."
<Wyatt``> "You're already doing that for them."
<Hubert``> "I mena something even more crazy and unnessessary."

<Wyatt> "This thing's an alien? Fuck."
<Hubert> "I hope you didn't hurt yourself, Wyatt."
* Wyatt draws one of his revolvers
<Wyatt> "You need to learn some people skills Hubert, before you wind up dead."
* Hubert looks at Wyatt
<Hubert> "As do you."
<Wyatt> "You file says nothing about you being clinically insane. If you'd like to compare, I'm sure you'll find a startling difference between you and me."
<Hubert> "I'm insane? you're the one pulling guns on people."
<Wyatt> "You fucking moron. I'm the one who's clinically insane. Pay attention when people speak to you, it's another thing I don't like."

<Salimah> got a new character idea
<Salimah> a retarded mind flayer
<Salimah> lets see..... he doesn't gain the wis,int, or cha bonuses of the mind flayers, and he doesn't have access to the psionic or spell-like abilities....
<Salimah> he was rejected from the society instead of having his brain eaten since none of the members wanted his brain added to the collective brain and nobody would touch it with a ten-foot tentacle
<AlcarGM> that would be fun
* Salimah could make it gompletely insane and say that the retarded mind flayer is being followed by a purple worm that thinks it's apuppy-dog

<Hubert> "Kris needs leg. Human leg."
<AlcarGM> *image of .... door opening ... step through .. closing .. river*
<AlcarGM> *no door open both ways*
<Hubert> *image of leg starting to take over Kris's body* *??* "What will happen?"
<AlcarGM> *image of standing at door ..* *image of steps .. * *image of kris vanishing each step*
<Hubert> "Will he die?"
<AlcarGM> *death?* *rebirth* *atman is brahman*
<Hubert> *extreme frustration*
<AlcarGM> *passive indifference*

<AlcarGM> *image of leg* *flicker of images from the leg, it changing into things*
<Hubert> *Kris after hes entirely like the leg* "Act like Kris? Or new person?"
<AlcarGM> *Kris Kris* *puzzled* *you ok?* *image of psychiatrists couch*
<AlcarGM> *image of $$$*
<Hubert> *image of Hubert beating his head against a wall in frustration* j/k
<AlcarGM> *image of socialised medicne. Very complex. Mind check to understand it :)*

<RavenMoonsinger> how bout i make a giant weiner called Oscar?
<Asahal> thats disturbing
<Krysylyn> on many different levels

* Keith` is the skickly overly wize for his age bag of bones (also known as a back sorcerrer)
<Keith`> errr, black even
<Caltak> back sorceror. Animate Spine, Ray of Back Pain...
<Alcar> Grow Tail, Spasm of Agony
<Caltak> Summon Chiropractor's Ally
<Alcar> Replace Spine With Slinky
<Keith`> instead of creat food and water, creat water and pain killers
<Keith`> instead of the summon monster spells summon painfull axedent
<Alcar> summon heavy weight
<Keith`> instead of drawing blood out of a person with vampirc tought its caslum out of there bones
<Caltak> Spine to Stone ;)

<Sintaqx> you want to continue the Temera game then?
<Chaos`^> yup yup =)
* Sintaqx changes into his succubus outfit... avert your eyes please.
* Chaos`^ hands sin a maple leaf
<Temera> no that's a fig leaf... unless you're canadian

<Reawen> "No!" in a weak, whinny voice she likely thinks means "maiden" "You can't hurt petra! Shes my ... pet. My daddy couldnt afford a pony. ."
<WarnerDM> The mention of pet brings the fighter up short "Pet? How'd your DM let you getaway with a pet like that?"
* Reawen looks at the fighter "I got him drunk and in bed and ... well, the rest is private but his dice are missing now."
<WarnerDM> "Well thats not fair! I wanted a griffen and all I got was a war dog and a war horse!"
<Reawen> "You need a female DM then, sorry."
<WarnerDM> The war dog in question sudenly pops into being as the DM sudenly remembers it :)

<WarnerDM> Crom yells with suprize, "Baby dragon!" and draws his sword
<Chirbris> "condom full of walnuts" i cry and prepare my paralyse breath weapon
* Robert``` (( wonders how the dragon knows what a condom and walnuts even are ;) ))
<WarnerDM> The members from the hirelings union sudenly come back from their smoke break and suround the baby dragon :)
<Chirbris> ((lol... and consider a draconic sized condom))
<WarnerDM> ((after this game IM not sure want a condom and walnuts are))

<WarnerDM> behind you hear what sounds very much like a ticked off librarian chacing shapeshifters sloshing around
<WarnerDM> "Croms blood this is cold!"
<WarnerDM> "Um, But your name is Crom" said a little voice that sounds very much like a halflings
<WarnerDM> "Connans blood then"

<Reawen> ooh, make a high levle party version of wizard of oz
<Baliadoc> scarecrow... straw golem? :)
<Baliadoc> if he only had a brain...
<Baliadoc> Wiz: "But scarecrow, you DO have a brain, you just had to use it to find out." "Uhm... Have you read the MM? Isn't that sort of a paradox?"
<Reawen> Wizard: "My name is Johnathan Tweet, of course I have!"
<Baliadoc> "If you're so smart, you'd know that my heart turned to iron with the rest of my body. Look at the damn spell description, for cryin' out loud."
<Baliadoc> "You know, this guy's ranting on so much it's starting to make me feel not-so-cowardly, if you get my drift. Ready to rush him? He's just a wizard, and a bad one at that. How much HP can he have?"

<Baliadoc> "So let's see, the wemic got the potion of heroism, the tin man got a dispel magic, so that he could have a heart again, and the straw golem, well... he was polymorphed into a giant floating brain. Guess he shouldn't've shot his mouth off. Why do i get stuck with these stupid slippers? I get all the dumb magic items."
<Reawen> Wiz: "But - but - cinderella liked them! I got them on the interdimensional magic sale!"
<Baliadoc> "Yeah, yeah. Next time I'm making the wishes, okay? Why do I feel like all three of them should be "There's no place like home?""
<Reawen> Wiz (desperately) "Its the express route .. please hurry. I cant explain having an under age girl in my home when my wife returns!"

<Krysylyn> evil idea
<Krysylyn> make a campaign world suddenly turn all cutsie and sweet...
<Krysylyn> see how long it takes for the PCs to kill themselves

<Krysylyn> oh, and I go to get another plate
<Jeramias> Hrm, didn't you take the frying pan too?
<Krysylyn> yes
* Vestranda gets some plates too :)
<Vestranda> useful weapons
<Jeramias> Gestris, are you dead?
<Krysylyn> he can't be dead.. I haven't hit him with a plate yet

<Krysylyn> "What a waste of time.... We broke through a door, got lost in a screwed up tower, and all we have to show for it are some plates, a frying pan, and some off-color elven magazines."
<Gestris> "Quite frankly, I'm never following you anywhere off-shore again."

<Jeramias> Ok, you get back to the village in about an hout. Lots of happy people :)
<Gestris> "This is gonna be real bloody, isn't it?"
* Vestranda throws a plate at one
* Krysylyn walks back to the village and hits the first happy person she sees over the head with a china plate

<Jeramias> Hmmm... You are all evil right? If not then you should be :)
<Vestranda> they werent real
<Jeramias> They wern't real? I never said that. They were as real as you are :)
<Jeramias> You just brutally slaughtered an entire town :)
* Gestris is CG, but all i did was put craters in an island that's pissing me off :)
<Jeramias> You are all evil! :)
<Krysylyn> ((Not anymore Ges :) ))

<Krysylyn> All we did was put some disgustingly happy people out of our misery
<Gestris> wait! we don't get to find out what happens!?
<Jeramias> Ok, do you want to know why they call it the continent of Grisly and Horrifiying Death? You're the reason :)
<Gestris> hehe, well, i hope something good comes of this :)
<Jeramias> No, nothing will :)

<Gustave> "Listen to me, I need to know why a corrupt mayor has someone out for his life!"
<Wyatt``> "We don't agree on certain things."

<Gustave> "Alright, my name is Gustave Sartre. I teach political science at the local university."
<Gustave> "I also am a member of an organization known as Project-S."
<Wyatt``> "A teacher who carries a gun and knows how to use it? Tough school."

<Gustave> "You spoke like you knew her, Wyatt."
<Wyatt``> "I did?"
<Gustave> "When we attacked her,"
<Wyatt``> "I'm have a hard time... staying sane... when I'm in the heat of an important fight."
<Wyatt``> "Correction. I have a harder time."

<AlcarGM> You can see bodies rising out of graves, shoving aside dirt and stone with unnatural strength
<David`-`> "ah holy hell"
<Salem_> "unholy.. shit.. i hate being used.."
<AlcarGM> The priest whimpers then finds himself staring at the 3 of you "What .. what can we do?"
<Salem_> " react the movie " army of darkness"
<Armin```> (I've only seen Evil Dead)

<David`-`> "drop me off some place with room service with my bike and i'll be fine"
* Armin``` arranges the bodies so that they are all in the back seat
<Armin```> "Come sit in front"
<AlcarGM> how convenient. Ok. you have 5 dead bodies with expressions of terror and no wounds in the back.
* Armin``` hopes he arranged them so no one can tell they are dead
<AlcarGM> (( the back has room for 3 people. 5 is squishy ))
<AlcarGM> (( you could put 2 in the trunk ))
<AlcarGM> Ok .. the steets are largely empty .. you've gone 6 blocks when you hear sirens behind you
<Armin```> "Crap"
<`Tim> oh my god --- hes gona kill poor david
* `Tim laughs and thinks "weekend at bernies"

<AlcarGM> The officer cuffs you "You can discuss this at the station, Sir. I suggest you call your lawyer. You hasve the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used agsinst you in a court of law. Do you understand?"
<AlcarGM> You had 4 bodies in the back of your car..... that takes more than being in the army to explain
* Alcar is curious as to why you kept them IN the car
<Armin```> Special forces never leave behind their dead
<Armin```> of course in this case I probably should have made an exception

<Serro> well, my weekly campaign was a bust
<Serro> out best cleric accidentally sold his soul, and then a townsperson sold hers to bring him back, only he came back undead, and the paladins decided to turn him, and he exploded
<Serro> quite a show

<AlcarGM> the inspector looks at you "Whats your story?"
<David`-`-`> "oh instead of the usawal cup of milk befor bed i desided to burn a grave yard full of corpsis"
<David`-`-`> "you know cremation"

* Asahal calls for a.......... waiter?
* Zee`` looks over at Asahal, grinning
<Zee``> "I am the waiter. Come over here, and I'll wait on you."

<Zee``> "Alright, what else do you have to offer? Or, more importantly, what reasons can you give for me not turning you in?"
<Asahal> "none really, except overthrowing the blood govornment, destroy the oppression of the people, etc...."

<Corwin_> ((I take it that means i find nothing?))
* Corwin_ sighs, and as a last ditch effort casts detect Chaos.
<Ssakath> (( Corwin detects the DM :) ))
<Chaos`^> Ahem... Kelris smells of Chaos, Durdwyn smells of Chaos, and the outhouse just plain smells...
<Chaos`^> oh, and there's Chaos in the outhouse too =p
* Corwin_ rushes over to the outhouse.
* Corwin_ pounds on the door.
<Corwin_> "Come out peacefully and you will escape unharmed!"
* Drudwyn takes out his lute and begins to play a fast rapid melody hoping that whoever is in the outhouse will come out
* Ssakath wonders why the hell there is music now :P

* Hubert``` gets all confused and decides to just drive since he cant follow whats going on :P
<AlcarGM> hubert - if Gustave is driving at you at 40 mph and you're driving at him at 50 mph and its a one trac road, how much damage wil you do when you hit each other?
<AlcarGM> that help?
<Hubert```> (( oh I see now ;) ))

<Salem_> why.. *stares at her* don't tell me.. your the hot-shot whos keepin the souls from passing on... *shakes her head* doing that is worse than some of the monsters that i know- to deny the right of final peace..* looks stary eyes* like some one i know who will never rest..
<AlcarGM> She stares at you for a long moment, something strange in her eyes you cant interpret "What are you?"
* Salem_ grins and stares back.. with that deep blackness leaking into the brown eyes "something older than time.. that killes the begins of dreams.. and reminds the gods that they have mortal hearts"
<AlcarGM> The woman looks at you "Oh, one of those." dismissively.

<Gustave> "I tried to play the good witness, but you just had to come spying!"
<Damrirn`> "Good witness? The Good witness who rats out the assassin?"

<Jeramias> When we last left our heros, the had just finished slaughtering nearlly every inhabitent of a small town east of the so called evil tower

* Gaty`^ winks at Krysylyn again
* Vestranda accidentally hits Gaty with an oar
* Gaty`^ feels his head and has Krys check it and touch him or something...
* Krysylyn raises the sail again, figuring that with these two rowing they will never pick up enough speed to run aground

<Krysylyn> "I am looking for a weapon to harm fire."
<Krysylyn> "It lies somewhere to the north."
<Jeramias> He stands then motions in his native language for the others to stand
<Jeramias> "Hurt fire?!"
* Gaty`^ whispeers to Krys "You're not telling them the best recipie for human flesh are you?"
<Krysylyn> "Yes, Gaty... I told them they need to boil you extra long."

* Tynelis stands completely flabbergasted at the beauty of the sunlight
* Locke`` goes and gets a bloody hat
<Locke``> "It's like being drunk, but going straight to the hangover."

* Tynelis decides to move in and about the locals...looking at the various sights available
<Asahal> ((then go bak to my own time and sell them))

<Tishsa> Is there something that I can do to catch up? Like one-on-one sessions every now and then so I can catch up on the story as well as quotes? Maybe even experience, but mostly quotes.

<Sintaqx> Gellard draws his bronze sword and rushes the beast while it;s occupied with trying to swallow Thrip, not knowing that dwarves make better gizzard stones than most rocks

<Ters> a blackjack is used to knock people out, right? How can someone do that if it only does d6? >_<
<Ters> coup de grace - I knew that there was something :)
<Ters> And that's like an auto-knockout too. "If the defender survives the damage, he must still make a fort save (DC 10+ damage dealt) or die." In this case it would be get knocked out because its subdual
<Ters> Oh happy day.
<Ters> I'll be the terror of everywhere :)
<Ters> I don't normally want to be such a munchy rules lawyer, but this is so cool!

<Jeramias> I see a whole wide future of my sneak attacking people though
<Alcar> the lone sapper -- middle ages style :)
<Jeramias> Well, its better than me being Ters the Ripper, right?
<Alcar> lol. Much :)
<Jeramias> The Lone Sapper will just sneak arround in dark allys blackjacking people, not even bothering to rob them :)
<Caltak> the sales of Headache Medicine will skyrocket ;)
<Jeramias> That's why I took 5 ranks in Profession(pharmasist)

* Baliadoc has one plan of attack. if it works, he dies almost instantly, and if my first attack is succesful, he'll have a really hard time hitting me :)
<Alcar> what the heck attack is THIS?
* Baliadoc plans to get on his back and ride him. after that, he'll lasso his neck. being too weak to strangle cal himself, my next attack will be to lasso one of Cal's hind legs. any sudden movement, and the wooden handle on the noose break either his spine or his windpipe
<Baliadoc> my feats are also Exotic Weapon proficiency - jump rope, and Unarmed Strike :)
<Alcar> the 8 year old kills the wemic ...

<Ters> >> the donky can read? :P <<
<Gomer_the_Barba> ((of course :P))
<Gomer_the_Barba> ((smarter than your average ass :)))
<Caltak> (( so the term "smart ass" would be a compliment then ;) ))
<Gomer_the_Barba> ((yup.. he's a half-assed smartass :) ))

<AlcarDM> Guard: "Very new here." She looks at Gomer carefully "Talk that way to any guard and you find yourself dead and in jail, donkey boy. I suggest you find something to do outside the city. Preferably where we don't have to see your face."
<Gomer_the_Barba> "will do that. not want see your face neither."
<Caltak> (( kill the guard! kill the guard! :) ))
* Gomer_the_Barba doubts the guard will catch the intentional double negative :) ))
* Gomer_the_Barba snickers to himself and goes to the circus

<Nailo`^> "I tend to keep to myself around strangers... they don't like my type..."
<Ters> "Your type?"
<Nailo`^> "Elves for one... Wizards for another.."
<Zee``> "Feh. Magic. Rather outdated, if you ask me."
<Nailo`^> "My point proven..."
<Caltak> (( "Yeah, especially since since the Psionics handbook came out." ))
<Zee``> "Tell me, what possesses you all to use magic? You have the power, why not just focus it internally?"
<Nailo`^> "Because it's popular?"

* Gomer_the_Barbarian convinces th mules that the hobbling is to assure the others that they won't run off, which they assure him that they would not, unless some evil nasty creature attacked them in the night, then all deals are off.
<AlcarDM> the mules consider caltak an evil nasty creature but abide by it
* Caltak (( grins evilly at the mules ))

* Ters will wake you when its your turn, stop being so impatient you ass ;)
<Gomer_the_Barbarian> ((kiss my ass.... ;) ))
<Gomer_the_Barbarian> ((oh, wait.. that's me...)))
<Caltak> (( Ters, leave Sin's ass alone ;) ))
* Gomer_the_Barbarian thinks people are having too much fun with his ass....
<Gomer_the_Barbarian> ((my ass is kinda hard to hide :P ))
<Nailo`^> (( hide your ass ))
<Gomer_the_Barbarian> ((you try hiding an 8'10" tall ass....))

<AlcarDM> The rest of the night passes uneventfully, the other bandits in the area warned by some naked half orcs they first laugh at, then kill, to avoid a certain stretch of the road
* Gomer_the_Barbarian dreams about three unfortunate half-orcs running through the woods and encountering a sex-starved elvish caravan
* Gomer_the_Barbarian wakes up screaming :)

* Gomer_the_Barbarian decides on an intimidating name for his spiked chain and his Longbow.... Fluffy and Squeeky

<AlcarDM> <Thorvin> looks around at the PCs "Well, that was an interesting night. Given any thought as to who y'all want as second?"
<Nailo`^> "Well... I could do it, I've been known to be the head mistress from time to time..." (( perverted comments withheld ))
* Gomer_the_Barbarian will not comment on the obvious elven connotations which go along with that.... except...
<Gomer_the_Barbarian> "Game warden?"

<Nailo`^> (( Zee, you wanna be the leader of the group or not? ))
<Zee``> "I'll lead. No scales off my shoulders. Of course, group input is always welcome."
<Asahal> ((leaders can change over the course of thime))
<Zee``> ((not under my iron fisted regime. I will kill all rebellious hearts while they sleep))

<`^SmokeY> "althea is an avignon, a goddess"
<The_Unnamed`> "Oh." *considers that* "Could she be my mother?"
<Dakfell_VenomBlade> "She is all of our mothers.."
<The_Unnamed`> "Wow. She must be busy then."
<`^SmokeY> "not mine..... mine was an earth mephit"
<Dakfell_VenomBlade> "How are you say that!"
<`^SmokeY> "quite easily"
* The_Unnamed` looks puzzled "Well, if she is all our mothers ..... she'd be giving birth every day a lot .. unless gods get around that?"
<Dakfell_VenomBlade> "Blasted Heretic I hope Hestr strikes you down"
<`^SmokeY> "If i were a heretic i wouldnt be here!"

* Deltoro_the_Whisper drops out of the sky
* Dakfell_VenomBlade catches Deltoro_the_Whisper
* Deltoro_the_Whisper means landing, in a dropping sort of way ;)
* Dakfell_VenomBlade still tries to catch you :P
* Deltoro_the_Whisper lands on your hands, looking down at you
* Dakfell_VenomBlade refuses to look up
* Deltoro_the_Whisper is an impressive sight. Over 10 feet tall, with deep blue skin and broad shoulders. He has tribal markings on his upper body, and is wearing a sort of kilt at the moment (Dakfell asked for it). He carries on his back an ornate double sword, and his eyes are pure gold.
<Dakfell_VenomBlade> (( ewww ))

<Chaos`^> 5,800 gold!
<Chaos`^> there! you find that on him
* The_Unnamed` is impressed at the size of his pockets
<`^SmokeY> if thats one guy, we gots a whole city t oget

<Lehrin> "Speaking of which, I was also told to offer you agent status with the Project. Wyatt's told them that you've been a great help this past week or so."
<AlcarGM> Kris blinks and his jaw drops. 'Me?!" he looks like a normal 15 year old, for once and a stunned one at that "But .. I mean ... "
<Lehrin> "I wasn't given all the details, but from what I've read on Holiday and Brown, being an agent might not be a bad thing. They can't shoot you that way."
<AlcarGM> Kris stares at yoy, then laughs and shakes his head "You offer strange insentive, mr steele ... "
<Lehrin> "Other than that, you get the chip. I've found it rather useful, myself. But with rogue agents out and about, and people like Holiday and Brown, I think not being shot would be the biggest perk."

<Jeramias> Alcar, since there's two newcomers joining my game tonight, try not to kill them right off :)
<Jeramias> One is db, and the other is a friend of mine. He hasn't rped for a while, so he should deserve a break, eh?
<Jeramias> Just try not to kill them right off ;)
* Alcar will try. Vestranda cant promise anything :)
<Jeramias> I've warned them both so hopfully they won't do anything stupid and totally out of context like showing you their "snakes"