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* Gestris finds a nice sized rock or branch, and sets it firmly over the hole
<Gestris> "I could start jabbing down with my sword. That might scare it, at least."
<DarisisDM> roll a knowledge(animal burrow) check, but I doubt you have ranks in that ;)
<Gestris> hehe, nope, sorry :)
<Vestranda> hehe. nah
<DarisisDM> You get no effect from jabbing a sword down there
* Gestris pounds on the ground a bit harshly, jabbing his sword down in a few places
<Vestranda> we cna fight and kill orcs and defeat powerful wizards .. btu the rabbit in his burrow eludes us

<DarisisDM> Gaty puts a hand to Ves's chest feeling for her heartbeat, when he feels none he takes off down the trail half-screaming half-crying out "Ges! Ges!"
* Gestris turns any slips/trips into controlled slides in the mud, to get the extra distance :)
<DarisisDM> Gaty catches up anyway :P
<DarisisDM> He's a barbarian, you know :)
<Gestris> "Yes? I'm a bit busy."
<DarisisDM> "She's dead..."
<Gestris> "I'll make sure to get a damn good healer then."
<DarisisDM> "And she never even got to have sex with me a second time!" *he stops his sobs for a moment* "I wonder if it's too late to do that now."
<DarisisDM> Gaty decides against it

<Warner> Bali wouldn't be after the spell to bring back the sun would he? isn't that the one gel has?
* Alcar actually has no idea WHAT Balis pc is researching :)
<Jeramias> No, he's trying to join himself with his familliar, I think
<Alcar> ah, oh yeah.
<Caltak> join eh? *cough*
<Alcar> well, when your familiar is a baby tarrasque ....
<Warner> Eeew
<Warner> EEEEEW!
<Caltak> *cough* *hack* ROFLMAO *cough* *cough*
<Warner> Forget the war and the sun. We've got to save this world from Bali!

<AlcarDM> The wizard asks the elf to leave and looks at Gelhalee "Did you make this thing?" he looks at AlcarDM distatefully
<AlcarDM> lol, err, Araka`
* Gelhalee looks at AlcarDM "Make that? you gotta be kidding me. I'd never make anything as sick, twisted and sadistic as that. An undead tarasque with halitosis maybe but never that!"
<AlcarDM> The wizard looks visibly ill at that image but says "Well, someone did!"
<Gelhalee> ((hehe sorry, when I see a chance for a good quote I go for it regardless of continuity or common sence))

<AlcarDM> Wizard: "how did they make you then?"
<Araka`> "How did your parents make you?"
<Tynelis> ((this is going to be a great response))
* Tynelis makes all children under 13 leave the channel for the next five minutes

<Arth`Ba`Toch> The shpere is a brown/blue globe. Locke, being familiar with the world before the War from some of Reeves stories, recognises the outline of the continents and oceans
<Arth`Ba`Toch> Terry enters and looks around, eating nothing
* Araka` pokes the sphere
<Arth`Ba`Toch> You hand gets within one handspan of it and hits a wall of force it cant get through
<Araka`> (( 'Damn atmosphere.." ))

* dbthewise13 likes his Locathah Monk, No Armor, No Weapons, Nothing not even food
<Alcar> not even food?
<Caltak> Locathahs are food ;P
<dbthewise13> He just eats a little portion of himself every day..
<dbthewise13> Build Resistance to Torture
* Caltak was kidding; didnt expect that answer ;P

<Wyatt``> "By the way, where's the jeep? I need the rest of my guns."
<Hubert``> "It melted."
<Wyatt``> "It what?"
<Hubert``> "It melted. It's over where the orphanage used to be, if you want to go check."
<Damrirn> ((Note: Define all 6+ Letter words to Wyatt..))

<AlcarGM> The sergeant looks at you "Oh, have we now?" His smile is rather unpleasant "And who are you?"
<Damrirn`> "I am Damrirn Bondobulol, an officer from 2006" <In a serious manner>
<AlcarGM> Sergeant: "Uh huh. Well, that IS a new one."
<AlcarGM> He looks at you "Who is president in 1980 then?"
* Damrirn` thinks for a moment "Nixon..Carter..Nixon..Carter..Jimmy Carter was in '80 I think.."
<AlcarGM> He frowns "After that?"
<Damrirn`> "After..oh jeez...Ronald Reagan, then George Bush, then Bill Clinton, then..umm...I think George W. Bush Jr..then.. ((whoever is president now))
<AlcarGM> Sergeant: "The actor?!"
<AlcarGM> Sergeant: "That was inventive, but no actor becomes president of THIS nation!"
<Damrirn`> "It gets worse..George W. Bush <sighs>.."
<AlcarGM> Sergeant: "Communist!

<AlcarGM> (( its a bird! Its a plain! No, its ron man in black, with sort of bio-techo skin, and only eyes on the helmet (a la the Protoss in Starcraft, if that helps). the wings look something like a bunch of shards of quartz sticking out the back (which are currently retracting), and a stump of a left arm that is actually some sort of gun/cannon ))
* AlcarGM doesnt think it'll catch on ;)
* Lehrin changes his name to "Blackie?" and has to fight off the population of Harlem ;)

<AlcarGM> ok, works. The figure ducks back inside
* Hubert`` puts the pistol away quickly (woo, now I gots me two pistols ;P) and runs in after the figure, shotgun ready
<AlcarGM> ok, it runs inside. you See it is female, 6' tall and looks EXACTLTY like a Barbie doll. A second one is beside her, and moves towards you armed with a big meat cleaver
<AlcarGM> The first one is going past her down a hall. There is a door at the end of it.
<Hubert``> "This is twisted." *as he shoots that the Barbie with the Lorana Bobbet Cleaver acessory ;P*

<AlcarGM> Kris flips over. hes pale and has a cut on the left side of his cheek. Its not bleeding much. He looks at you "Where are we?!"
<AlcarGM> He shakes his head and gets beside you "I think we'd better get out .. "
<Hubert``> "The Old <whatever the hell it was> mansion, North of the city. Some twisted individuals has giant Barbie doll robots with guns and butcher knives guarding this place."
<Asahal> ((i must admit al the whole barbie thing is pretty fukd up))
<AlcarGM> (( waituntil you meet the person who MADE it ))
<Asahal> ((al i dont wanna meet you in person after this episode))

<Asahal> "how well?"
<Nailo`^> (( is that a skill? ))
<Asahal> ((not if u fight like me))
<Ters> >> Can you kill a Wemic as easilly as an 8 year old could? <<
<Nailo`^> (( 8 year old troll =p ))
<Asahal> ((how old WERE those trolls cal?))
<Ters> >> No, Cal was killed by an 8 year old human commoner :) <<
<Asahal> ((dressed as a troll?))
<Caltak> (( thats a lie I beat the kid into the ground. Twice ;P ))

<Caltak> "The world is weird. So weird is normal."
<Asahal> "pfft! thats just summin u lookat and say......."thats it im outa here""
<AlcarDM> Vel smiles at Caltak "Then what is normal?"
<Caltak> "If it existed, I'd tell you."
<Asahal> "look at cal, he aint normal"

<Asahal> "cmon nailo..... what happened..... you can tell me"
<Nailo`^> "It's hard to explain really... We... rode... it was quiet and seemed long, and... well I was thinking to myself, and after about half a day of thinking, I decided something... then without a word, the thing brought me back to you guys..."
<Asahal> "odd" "so you dont exactly know what happened?"
<Nailo`^> "No... but I did come to some conclusions in the way I run my life..."
<Asahal> "how do you mean?"
* Nailo`^ shrugs
<Asahal> "fair enough"
<Asahal> "this is going in my epic you know..... i need details"
<AlcarDM> (( hehe Asahal ))
<Asahal> ((hey a bard ahs to have some sort of motivation))

<Nailo`^> "Some epics have untold mysteries... Look at the demon and the lady..."
<Asahal> "but id say that the bard who wrote them knew exactly what NOT to say, therefore he knew the details"

<Keith`> ok so what sick and twisted thing did you do to chao's charicter?
* Keith` known he should have killed that unicorn
<Alcar> oh, he cant kill anyone out of anger or be angry any more :)
<Keith`> is that all?
<Keith`> why couldn't you do that to caltak?
<Alcar> cause a) cals pc was male and b) the unicorn wanted a maiden and c) taking a wemic for a ride would have beenr reallty hard on its back :)

<Chaos`^> ok.. anyway... lesse... you're in a forest, it's kinda hazy from some smoke, there is a small village behind you that thinks Ssakath is a demon... how can I make this worse....
* Sparkie is burning the forest down?
* Sparkie gives Chaos bambi eyes .. pwweesse?
<Chaos`^> no!

<Warner> Corwin\\ you dont HAVE to stow away, but the party is looking for passage. What ever you work out that fits is fine with me
<Chaos`^> actually, you can head northwest into some very hilly territory, or head east to the Gray palace and the City of which I can't remember it's name =p
<Corwin\\> ((i still like the me just popping in idea, can't i buy passage with a blade made of solid mana?))
<Warner> is it me or is Chaos`^ talking about something compleately differnt
<Corwin\\> ((we're running a game warner))

<Alcar> Hubert's arm feels like some cats tore it to pieces and Lehrin has a sucking stomach wound
<Lehrin> "You alright?"
<Hubert``> "Other than my brain and my arm, yes, I'm fine." *as he runs*
<Alcar> The thing is up and moving, but cant catch you
<Alcar> it doens't move that fast
<Lehrin> "Good to hear. Name's Lehrin. Sorry we didn't get a chance for proper introductions last night. I've been sent here to supervise. You think I could tender a resignation after this?"

<Falsedragon> would they arrest you for stealing from a kender, claiming that whatever he had was yours originally?
<Alcar> Falsedragon - how do you prove its yours?:)
<Ters> Because you took it from a Kender :)
<Ters> So there's a 90% chance that it was yours at some point

* Chaos`^ can just imagine a kender lbrary.. the emptiest building in town

* Krysylyn stops, and throws her light out in that direction
<DarisisDM> Your light illuminates a deer and when it hits the ground the animal is frightened so it scampers off
<Gaty`^> (( kill it! ))

<Gaty`^> (( you guys just passed up a stone of luck +2!! ))
<Krysylyn> ((we're not lucky enough to realize it apparently ;) ))
<Gaty`^> (( it gives you +2 to ALL ROLLS for good creatures!! ))
<Krysylyn> ((umm.. Gaty... I'm evil...))
<Gaty`^> (( oh well =p ))
<Gaty`^> (( maybe you're just... outgoing =p ))

* Gaty`^ turns around and looks around
* Gaty`^ gasps and runs for krysylyn... and grabs her... you know... and knocks her down too...
* Gaty`^ is ontop of Krysylyn, but he has a look of concern on his face
* Krysylyn falls to the ground...
<Krysylyn> "not now, sheesh."
<Pagin> (( lust is an expression of concern where gaty comes from? ))
<Krysylyn> ((lust is about gaty's only expression))

<Gestris> 1d20+9 - die!
<Unmentionable_Evil> Gestris, 1d20+9: 24 - die!
<Gestris> 1d8
<Unmentionable_Evil> Gestris, 1d8: 8
<DarisisDM> Damnit, Gestris! Do you bribe ALL of the bots?
<Gestris> no, I just tell them that you sleep with their sisters.

<DarisisDM> No exp for that fight. No one got below -7 hit points, so it must not have been too chalanging.
<Darrele> Gestris came pretty close =)
* Gestris was close to dying :)
* Darrele stabs Gestric a little bit to drop him below -7
<DarisisDM> Ok, do a coup de grace on him and kill him. Then you can have exp ;)

<Lehrin> "Hey bro! Did you tell your landmistress that I'm here to fix the damage I did the other night?"
* Lehrin has a total stoner accent
* Hubert`` looks back at the landlady. "He gets really bad at parties." *indicating Lehrin*
<AlcarGM> She looks at Lehrin for a long, cool moment "he sems the type." primly. She looks at Hubert "However, I would not have thought you to be the maty type Mister Brown."
<Lehrin> "Don't worry babe. Paid for all the material m'self, and I'm headed upstairs right now to fix things up."
<Hubert``> "Sorry about that."
<AlcarGM> At the word babe the room chills dramatically enough that you suspect supernatural involvement
<AlcarGM> She looks at Hubert "If it happens again, you are evicted." And walks out
<Hubert``> "Well, have a nice day to you too." *long after she's already left :P*

<AlcarGM> Hubert's phone rings
* Hubert`` picks it up. "Hello?"
<AlcarGM> "Hubert?" Its your boss
<Hubert``> "Yes, it's me. What's up?"
<AlcarGM> "You're at work right now." flatly
<Hubert``> "Just kidding. I'm not really home right now, this is just the machine. Convincing, no? Just leave a message after the tone, and I'll get back you as soon as I can. Beeep." *hangs up*
<AlcarGM> LOL
<AlcarGM> The phone rings again
* Lehrin gives Hugh a really weird look

* Alcar is now really tempted to do this plot in WW3 ....
<Keith`> your the dm
<Alcar> yeah, but I dont want to end ww3 .. it might not end it (depending on pc actions and players reactions)
<funny-ooc> i thought faline was WW3
<Keith`> WW3 (wasted world 3)

<Alcar> She looks at you "I consider those people my friends." Her voice becomes soft, and somewhat menacing "They are doing more to help this city than most fat, donut-devouring pigs in uniform ever do .. "
<Damrirn> OOC - Is this the Vampire that the PCs tried to kill?
<Alcar> nope. Shes a waitress at a restaurant north of town :)
<Damrirn> ahh..wtf? :)

* Terin comes skipping up to Armen
<Terin> Hey armen, you know we are probably going to die, right?
* Armen Turns and grins at Terin
<Armen> I don't know about me, you definately.

* Caltak considers maing a femal elf whos bitter about not being able to get any because all the males are too busy with their "animal companions"....nah :P

<Salem_> then you were created.. you exist..
<Angelica```> (( you dont have to be created to exist, duh ;P ))
<Salem_> or are you some figment of my imgantation
<Salem_> ((hush..))
<AlcarGM> She smiles, faintly "A bit of both perhaps. Something that always has been."
* Salem_ nods " i guess we are in the same boat.. "
<Angelica```> (( like drier lint! ;) ))
<Salem_> (( go eat your young...))

<Caltak> (( so what did I miss? :P ))
<Nailo`^> (( the pc's are abusing me and sexually harrassing me... nothing much ))
<Caltak> (( oh cool I wanna do that too! :P ))
<Asahal> ((ur a wemic........itd be wierd))
<Alcar> (( So? Caltaks a wemic .. Nailo is an ELF. It wouldnt be wierd. For an elf, it would be normal :) ))
Caltak> (( yeah, it could be an elf and a tarrasque and it wouldnt be weird :P ))

<Caltak> "You just took it upon yourself to hurt him? For no real reason? What kind of lunatic are you?"
<Asahal> ((an orc))
<Gemm> "well it seemed right at the time. and he(asahal) seemed to like the mirror"
<Caltak> "It seemed right to attack him without provocation." *shakes his head*
<Magus`-`-> (and this coming from caltak... LOL)

<Chaos`^> You guys leaving the other 4 bars of mythril behind?
<Drudwyn> ((I can carry some..plus i slipped my heavier stuff into Ssakath's pack))
<Chaos`^> (( what pack ;))
<Drudwyn> ((eww, then i must have slipped it into one of Ssakath's openings))

<Chaos`^> "To get into the trrrreasurrrre room, you know what creates a boom. It flashes light and sometimes fights. It will only strike once if you are not a dunce."
<Chaos`^> She smiles happy with herself for thinking of such a great riddle.
<Corwin\> "Lightning."
<Chaos`^> "I will give you this long to figure it out..." she points to an hourglass... more like a 5 minute glass...
<Chaos`^> She frowns at Corwin
<Chaos`^> "That is correct..."

<Corwin\> anyway, chaos, i plan to argue with it long enough for everyone to creep around to its back and stab it multiple times.

<WarnerDM> ((who the heck is Troy?)
<Troy`^> (( the dagger thief!! duh =p ))
<Robert```> (( yeah, remember? ))
<WarnerDM> (nope)
<Troy`^> (( He stole the dagger and left Rober out in space to die... ))
<Robert```> (( remember? Gel towed him? and he tried to get away, I jumped on his ship, then fell off into space? ))
<Troy`^> (( and left the Gemini magica without paying!? Wouldn't Gel remember THAT!? ))
<WarnerDM> ((I certainly dont remember reintroducing him))

WarnerDM> The men follow soldiers orders and march the party to the brig
* Robert``` glares at soldier`^ but cooperates anyway
* Nurse`Darleen looks like a stern nanny " thats it.. i am telly-phoning all your mummies that you were bad.-dd boys.. and you will get no TV time, you hear me!"
* soldier`^ whispers to the officers with darleen to send her to the mental ward
<WarnerDM> No one seems to have hand cuffs that will fit a otyugh tentical. And no one has the hart to cuff darleen. But they do line up on either side and march you towards one of the bases buildings.
* soldier`^ doesn't feel that Darleen will do mare than threaten to call his disceesed mother, so he doesn't cuff her ;)

Drestin> "Elves arrested us..well because we're orcs"
<Reawen> "Ah. Oppression of minorities to further the tyrannical governments facist activities?"
<Drestin> "If only elves and orcs could get along <sighs>"
* Gene again shrugs
<Gene> "may also be because we try eat some of them"
* Reawen looks at Gene "Oh. Do the elves taste good?"
<Gene> "yea 'specially raw"
Drestin looks at Reawen nervously "My brother is not quite in the right mind, this imprisonment is really getting to him"
<WarnerDM> "Now who knocked these bars over? I want a name"
<Reawen> "Otyugh names are difficult to pronounce, Unless you liked prolonged farting?"
* Robert``` gives Reawen a weird look for a moment
* Reawen tries to look innovent
<Reawen> innocent
<Robert```> (( you cant even spell it let alone look it :) ))

<Cecil`^> You get the urge to look at her picture again =p
* Edward_DeAth looks at it oddly
<Cecil`^> You can see every portion of her body, every tuck and curve, and long to be there, looking at it...
* Edward_DeAth thinks he needs lots of sleep then
<Cecil`^> yeah, you crazy bastard =p
<Edward_DeAth> (( "Ah! The Kodak Succubus!" ))

<Chaos`^> Alright, we last left our heros were about to get their asses kicked... oh yeah... they got a riddle wrong "Not it is not" the sphinx tells whoever said it was life
<Corwin\\> "What do yuo mean it's not life?"
<Chaos`^> "I'm affraid I'm going to have to kill you now..."
<Drudwyn> "Is it possible you can kill us after you give us the treasure?"

<Chaos`^> She pounces on you and attacks
<Ssakath> (( it most contextx that line might be a good thing ;P ))
<Ssakath> (( well the first half of it anyway ))

<Fermlin> Well any kind dm's wanna?
<Fermlin> I'll even get players?
<Fermlin> Come on there's gotta be someone who will
<Fermlin> God didn't make 5 billion people for nothing

<Sintaqx> this is gonna be interesting to say the least
<Sintaqx> A football player artist, a cheerleading bratty pilot, and a man-hating bitch explorer....
<Alcar> the '00 generation of heroes :)
<Sintaqx> no shit
<Sintaqx> the millenium bug took 17 years to hit
<Sintaqx> "We're gonna be saved by THAT?"

* Araka` cheerfully (in elvish) "We met Death."
* Locke`` raises an eyebrow at Araka
* Danguthilis nods, thinking Tynelis` and Araka were charmed by the witch
<Locke``> "Right... okay... Death. I think we need to get back to the city life. This whole god thing is messing with your brains."
<Tynelis`> "Locke``...if only I were kidding"
<Tynelis`> "I did not even speak to the woman"
<Tynelis`> "and I know her true nature"
<Tynelis`> "the plants knew...and the plants are something you don't argue with, for they hold more information than you are capable of dealing with"
<Locke``> "I hate hippies."

<AlcarGM> Ok. .. you get dressed, eat, then go into the bathroom to do your usual stuff. When you open the toilet you find a head in it.
<AlcarGM> It's your head.
* Damrirn checks to make sure his head is still on before getting some gloves so he can take his head out of the toilet
<AlcarGM> You take it out slowly .... its definitely solid, and yours. A quick glance in the mirror reveals you have your own head as well.
<AlcarGM> What do you do with it?
* Damrirn squeezes it a little testing out its density

<TexDKnght> I wonder if a 1st level is too low.
<Green-Ooze{m}> Each Level Your Character is has a Name . . . Level 1 & 2 = Cannon Fodder | Level 3 & 4 = Divirtionary Targets | Level 5 = Slim chance of Survival ¦¬þ

<Sin\Away\> Sexual preference choiced for most races: Male, Female. Sexual preference choices for elves: Male, Female, Other. Sexual preference choiced for Elven Druids: Other

<Alcar> oh, I know!
<Alcar> You want your pc to be 50' tall right cal?
<Alcar> How about I havbe an NPC morph you into a certain purple dinosaur?
<Alcar> you'd be 50' tall and children everywhere would follow you around ....
<Caltak> oh god Alcar, I'd have to kill you ;P
<Alcar> and if the military tried to shoot you there kids would never forgive them
<Alcar> you'd get marketing and PR. And you'd just have to appear on tv at . .what? 4 pm each day?
<Caltak> he'd be better off dead ;P
<Caltak> listen, he would go crazy and kill himself if he was turned into barny. and then kids everywhere would be scarred for life :)

* Captain-Canada throws down his Clipboard and leaps up on the desk, undoing his necktie
<Captain-Canada> "I will stop this power supply!"
<Greg``> <Opie the Janitor> looks at the captain, then at the desk levelly "I hope you're shoes are clean."

<Captain-Canada> "Um citeze, i mean students we are taking a feild trip follow me!"
* Greg`` sighs "A field trip?" He mutters something about school and walks down the hall towards the double doors. "And to think I used to dream of blowing up a school ..
* Captain-Canada who is really the self-proclaimed protector of Canada and not a teacher does not notice the remark about blowing up the school that would usualy be delt with by expulsion

<Captain-Canada> "I am not your substitute techer, i am really....."
* Captain-Canada spins and tears off his teacher's suit all in one motion to reveal a full body Red&White skin tight suit complete with boots, gloves, and a utility belt, there is also a metal hockey stick on his back and a big White Maple Leaf on his chest
<Captain-Canada> "CAPTAIN CANADA!"
<Jamie`> "Oh god..."

* Kent`` is a tall, strapping young man, who looks like he's spent a good amount of time on the farm, and has. He wears a blue t-shirt and red leather bellbottoms, which look handed down, and has glasses on. He has short black wavy hair, and bright blue eyes. Oh, and an incredibly perfect tan
<Andrew```> (( Bellbottoms? dear lord.. ))
<Kent``> ((just handed down clothes, from an old friend. Clark learned early on to switch the colors around :))
* Greg`` looks at Kent strangely "Why are you here? besides sharing his taste in fashion .. "
<Kent``> "Hmm? Oh, i was flying by. I don't think this guy likes people finding his home. You wouldn't happen to be evil, would you?"
<Captain-Canada> "No I'm not evil"
<Kent``> "Just making sure. You do have Canada as a theme, after all."

<Kent``> "Well, if everyone could lift cars, superpeople'd be boring."
<Greg``> "Well, I think Im normal .. get the cat guy or something."
<Jamie`> "I *am* normal."
<Greg``> "You vanished into thin air!"
<Jamie`> "No I didn't! I think your power is too halucinate, you crazy drunk!"

<Greg``> Captain-Canada feels a candian migrame compromising with him to be a minor headache coming on
* Captain-Canada gos back into the Canada Dome and comes back out with a big armor plate pointed Gauntlet with a Maple leaf on it
<Kent``> "Uhmm... whoa, you okay? Hey, I'm gonna try to keep catboy from getting himself in trouble. I'll be right back."
* Captain-Canada then holds his head and says
<Captain-Canada> "ouch"
* Captain-Canada get two asprin from his utility belt and swallows them

<Jamie`> "If we are supposedly super heros, when do we get our utility belts?"
<Greg``> "Can you sew your own cape?"
<Jamie`> "Well, I could get a cape, but then I'd be too much like Batman. That's why I only want the belt."
<Greg``> "Just dont givie it a maple leaf."
<Jamie`> "I won't."
<Captain-Canada> "Awww"
<Captain-Canada> "You could be Maple-Boy if you did"
<Jamie`> "I don't *want* to be maple leaf boy"

<Captain-Canada> "I like Apple Pie"
<Greg``> "Its not canadian. Are you allowed to?"
* Jamie` points at Captain-Canada and says "Traitor!" half joking
<Captain-Canada> "Well its is an adaptation of Le tarte de Pomme"
<Captain-Canada> "Of French origin, that they brang over here to what is now known as Canada"
<Jamie`> "Brought. And you call yourself a true Canadian... Can't even get your grammer correct."
<Captain-Canada> "There's your super power! being able to see what people talk!"

* Captain-Canada gos back in the building and comes back out wearing Jeans and a leather Bomber's jacket, he still wears his mask though
<Kent``> "Closer. You're not gonna wear that mask, are you?"
<Captain-Canada> "What do you mean not wear the mask?"
<Kent``> "You look like a dork with it on."
<Captain-Canada> "With what on?"
<Kent``> "The mask!"

<Captain-Canada> "Lets just go get some pie, wanna take the Canada-Mobile?"
<Kent``> "Uhm... right. No, I'll walk."
<Captain-Canada> "Oh, its not far?"
<Kent``> "Actually, I can just run back. I run pretty fast."
* Kent`` offers Jamie and Greg a lift. Literally
* Jamie` climbs onto Kent``s back
<Kent``> "What the heck!? Hey, I'm not some cheap french prostitute! I was just gonna carry you!"
* Jamie` climbs into Kent`s arms then :P
<Kent``> "Would you stop that!? I can pick you up myself, thank you very much! Sweet baby Jesus!"

<Greg``> Ma looks up "Kent? Where have you been?" As she bustles around the old country kitchen. The smell of apple pie wafts through the air. "Peggy sue, you remember peggy right? Well, her folks are out of town, so shes just here to visit us."
* Peggy`Sue looks up from the porch " cousin Clark,. yer home!"
<Greg``> Ma wants to see you with a nice gf :)
<Kent_Clark> and she just called me cousin... you might wanna fix that, for sanity's sake :)
<Greg``> 2nd cousin :)
* Kent_Clark needs a drink
<Greg``> well, they do things differently in the country. and more often
<Kent_Clark> how close to home that hits... I live in Inbredville, USA. didn't expect to actually have to experience it ;)

<Greg``> in the field Peggy Sue and Greg can see Kent talking to a person who looks like a humanoid cat, more or less.
* Andrew``` is what appears to be a humanoid puma dressed in a t-shirt and shorts :)
* Peggy`Sue blinks " oh.. cool, can we keep it? i want to name him Mr. Bigglesworth"

<Alcar> You find yourself wishing you'd waited to save her corpse
<Danguthilis> "Its pointless to try to capture a dead person, though i suppose someone of your intellect wouldn't think so"
<Alcar> maiden: "intellect? I'M not the one who tried to take on two clerics of death with a pretty bird!"
<Alcar> She shoves past you "Stupid males."
* Danguthilis resists the urge to kill her and explores the rest of the building

<Greg``> Pa shrugs "Well, if you don't have anywhere to go, theres some stumps I could use cleared in the south pasture. I can pay you."
<Andrew```> "Oh, sure thing."
* Andrew``` heads outside to go to the pasture
* Jamie` is out to pasture. His funeral will be held Friday morning

<Kent``> "Right... yeah. I really doubt that there are any supervillains up here."
<Greg``> "We could be."
* Andrew``` looks down at Greg questionably. "yeah, but why would be want to do that?"
<Kent``> "Us? Nah. I'm not the evil type."
<Jamie`> "Why can't we be evil?"
* Greg`` looks at Andrew "Why not?" and shrugs
<Kent``> "Because I'd beat the living tar out of you?"

<Andrew```> "Yeah what Kent said. If you're a supervillan, you got everyone against you, plus any superheroes. If you're a superhero, then you have all the non-villains on your side."
<Jamie`> "See, you need villans to go against you, so one of us is going to have to be evil. I nominate Andrew."
* Andrew``` blinks at Jamie
<Andrew```> "Hey, wait a second..."
<Peggy`Sue> without supervillians.. there would be no superheros

<Greg``> When you enter, a receptionist - Mrs Quested, according to the sign on her desk - looks at you "Do you have an appointment with Mr Fielding?"
<Greg``> Mrs Quested gives you all a scathing look, sure you're here to do your taxes 2 months late.
<Kent``> "Sure don't, but I have an important issue to discuss with him>"
<Greg``> She raises an eyebrow "I see." in a polite tone. "I'm afraid Mr Fielding is rather busy right now."
<Kent``> "When will he be available? I would really like to talk to him about my family's farm as soon as possible."
<Greg``> (( The First Villian: Bureaucracy! Powers: Delay pcs 2, annoying 1 create red tape: 3 ))

<Jamie`> "I can't beleive that you just did that. So you don't mind us becoming super villans?"
<Kent``> "Just don't hurt people." *starts walking off*
<Kent``> "What else was I supposed to do? I'm not gonna hurt him."
<Kent``> "I can't do anything. Some 'Superhero' I am."
<Greg``> "Uhm, you could learn to be subtle. Oh, even better, you can have Captain Canada visit him."
<Andrew```> "Kent, superheros generally don't battle evil accountants."
<Kent``> "Yeah, but usually superheroes don't have parents who've just lost everything that ever meant anything to them."
<Jamie`> "Yes they do, that's why they become superheroes."

<Caltak> Fun Diety for Clerics: "Chanserv". CN. Chanserv's Domains are: Chaos (IRC is always unstable), Trickery (since you never know if you're still on), Destruction (GHOST command and kline), and Travel (splits). :)

<Danguthilis> Alcar should add another trigger for a Sparkie Kick
<Danguthilis> saying '2e'
<Caltak> I agree.

* Caltak really wishes there were some way to parlay his knowledge of D&D into some sort of money-making job :P
<Connection|Reset|By|Peer> You can have people pay you to shut up :)
<Caltak> hey, now that's an idea :)

<Caltak> but mostly just cause I feel the rules are used because they are rules. If the rules arent liked, one could play in a free form system instead :)
<Baliadoc> well, it's not that so much as the rules just set the foundation. they don't build the house. the rules are just subcontracted to get a basic idea of what's going on ;)

<Jeramias> for the platform CARPG my friend and I are making I suggested that the character should need to sheath her sword to cast a spell. He thought that she should also gather a cirlce of stones arround her. I think that he was mocking me.
<Baliadoc> i'd say "Sure, but let me go get some rocks so you can show me what you mean." Then, go get a big one and wait a while. when he gets bored and starts playing on the computer, rush in and beat him over the head, then say "How d'you like the rock idea now, bitch!?"

<Locke``> "Son of a Jackal! I've gotta get this figured out! Everyone, out of the room!"
<Tishsa> "What did you do?"
<Locke``> "Whatever it was, i lost my bond with Terry! He doesn't know we're friends anymore!"
<Tishsa> "Oh shit, that isn't good at all."
<Araka`> (( "Quick! Distract it with a giant Twinkie!!" ))
<AlcarDM> Gandolt: "It is a familar. What does that matter?"
<Locke``> "It's not a familiar anymore! I'm bonded to something else! Now the bloody Terrasque, and yes, it is a Terrasque, thinks I'm a midmorning snack!"

<Araka`> "Oh come on you can do better than that to find a good hobby. Killing things is your job, so thats not a good hobby."
<Araka`> "You should find something to take your mind off the whole Death thing. Killing and such can be pretty depressing, so if you take your mind off it sometimes, you might be able to get into a good mood." *smiles helpfully*
<AlcarDM> Death (almost shtyly) I Tried Poker Once. The Humans Cheated. So I Killed Them All.

<Jeramias> "We have hundreds of highly trained people, but we're going to send YOU to save the world because you are still level 1."

<Armin```> "well, some vietnamese wizards summoned her to destroy america for leaving the war"
<Alcar> Comte loooks at Armin "To destroy ... huh. Like Rome." he frowns "Why is she here then?"
<Armin```> "maybe it has something to do with the mayor"
* Hubert` shrugs. "Maybe she's going to try to convive the mayor to eventually run for president or something and then take the country down from the inside?"
<Alcar> Comte: "Perhaps. That would make sense. I do wonder though ... "
<Alcar> Kris: "I dunno. Is she stupid enough to think that the government is actually there to help us? I mean, if we got rid of it, would it be a big loss?"
<Armin```> "Anarchy isn't usually a good thing"
<Hubert`> "Thats what the government would have you believe, Armin."

<Kent``> "I've never been shot. I think I could take it though, how tough could it be?"
<Kent``> "Besides, I can probably move faster than he can shoot."

<Greg``> The Fanatic laughs "You fool! the only worth lies in hearing the words of Hitler, a REAL man!"
* Kent`` looks at him seriously for a second before breaking out into laughter
<Greg``> The fanatic looks disgusted
<Kent``> "You're kidding me! Oh man... you listen to a guy who wet his bed even when he was leading the Nazi's! Hoo boy! That's rich! Did you not make it to World History in high school or something?"
<Greg``> Fanatic: "I wont believe your lies, heretic! Real men wet beds!"
* Kent`` laughs harder

<Kent``> "Hey Ma, Pa! We're back!"
<Greg``> Ma Clark looks at Kent "What happened?"
<Greg``> Ma Clark looks at Kent "Well? Our accountant phoned us saying you tried to bully him . .then we see a video of you flying around town .. "
* Kent`` explains the day to them, leaving out the whole "I tried to throw the accountants office into orbit" thing
<Andrew```> (( oh you mean the "I tried to throw the accountants office into orbit, and had to be stopped by the giant cat who, oddly enough, was the more sane one at the time" thing? :) ))
<Kent``> ((Hey, if you were losing your home, you'd want to throw buildings around too. Or at least easily breakable stuff.))

<AlcarDM> The gnomes souvenir from the night is three words "You're a daddy!"
<Caltak> (( oh christ :P ))
<Caltak> (( wait, is that even possible? ;P ))
* AlcarDM really hopes not
<AlcarDM> she gives you a farewell kiss and says she'll always remember you
* Caltak trys to reply with something but only manages to come up with a nod and the word "likewise" :P
<AlcarDM> She mutters something about "typical male."

<Jeramias> Bali should run a game :)
<Baliadoc> sure. There's fun to be had for all. You learn some valuable lessons about working as a team, and even some about yourself. Then I give you experience. The end.

<Sintaqx> DMing is similar to running a decathalon.. especially for the typical group of PCs that are recruited in this channel

* Sintaqx needs to find one of his characters... a level 3 char (2 psi, 1 sor) with AC of 28
<Sintaqx> he wades into battle wavinghis quarterstaff around hoping he manages to hit something :)
<Baliadoc> if he was a halfing, he'd make a good sheild for a Half-Orc.
<Baliadoc> "Not only does my shield protect me, it casts magic missile!"

* Ssakath runs after the goblin, passing it, being able to go 160 feet (if run really is x4 :P) and turning around to wait for the goblin :P
<`Merlin`> "Eeps agains!"
* `Merlin` scrambles to a stop, and then runs backwards
<Ssakath> (( run backwards, or turns around? :) ))
<`Merlin`> ((running backwards..... you gotta think like a goblin archmage....))

* Ssakath trys to move, to find he's still tied up (since no one untied me at all)
<Chaos`^> The sphinx licks her lips wondering what lizardman tastes like...
<Atma``> "Hey, big guy, you awake?" *perfect Draconic*
* Ssakath trys to answer, but can't, since he has a giant spider leg stuffed in his mouth, and hes too tied up to remove it
<Chaos`^> "Is spider good?"

<Chaos`^> Corwin heals you both due to the law of dm insanity, so you don't have to argue...
* Chaos`^ tries to remember if corwin is even a cleric...
<Chaos`^> he heals you anyway ;)

<Ike> I just like Psionics Handbook because now I can throw Illithids at my players without them getting slaughtered. :)
<Ike> The Illithids, that is...
<Ike> I don't really mind if the players get slaughtered..

* Mordenkainen shots a greater arrow of dragon slaying against BLACK`DRAGON
* BLACK`DRAGON catches it effortlessly
* SIR_Talos pulls out his Dragon Blade and Decapitates Mordenkainen
<Mordenkainen> yeah... and then you wake up and fall out of the bed =)
<Mordenkainen> NOOOOOOOOO
<Dungeon_Master{mf}> *Poof*
<Dungeon_Master{mf}> "Watch me!"
<Mordenkainen> I'm your greatest NPC! You can't un-do me!
* Dungeon_Master{mf} would like to remind the players that Mordenkainen never exsisted

* Zee``` helps the wife with the cooking, then goes to sleep after dinner, thanking the family profusely
<AlcarDM> the wife gives Zee 100 bonus experience for being polite and some food to take with him
<Caltak> (( hey, so being nice to kids doesnt get you extra exp? heheh ))
<Ters> >< Cal, eat a couple of them and see if that gets you any ;) ><
<Caltak> (( LOL, naw, been there, done that, Ters. Never seems to help my pcs' popularity :P ))

<Chaos`^> How did everyone react when the dead people came up?
* Caltak left
* Baliadoc made them dinner
<Alcar> ran away, of course
<Alcar> tho magus did ask them questions until they decided to try and drink his blood
* Chaos`^ ran?
<Baliadoc> we used you as a diversionary tactic. you're in the digestive systems of many different dead people.

<Nailo`^> So how do you kill undead? or did my master never get that far in teaching me? ;)
<AlcarDM> disrupt undead spell :)
<Nailo`^> That's IT!?

* Douglas_Bounderby sticks close to Caltak, since he's the only one that actually seems nice.
<Douglas_Bounderby> (( And he's the Wemic Barbarian, at that... ))

* Nailo`^ sets down and begins reading out of her 'diary' quickly, going over the steps to kill an army of undead =p
<Caltak> (( Step 1: Call a guy from S-Mart who works in Housewares ))
<Caltak> (( Step 2: stand back. ))

* Ters swings his sword arround for flavor and then thrusts into the nearest undead
<Zee```> "What are you still doing, Ters? Run!"
<AlcarDM> The undead staggers, then swings a fist back, as if trying to swat a fly
<Zee```> "Do you people not understand the words coming from my mouth? No wonder I hate mages!"
<Ters> "I'm not a mage, Zee! I won't let you do this alone!"
<Zee```> "And you don't have a choice in the matter! You don't understand my people. Just save your own bloody life! I don't die easily."

<Douglas_Bounderby> (( That's my point Alcar... An army wouldn't be full of high or even low level fighters.. It'd be soldiers, at best, and most likely commoners. ))
<AlcarDM> (( depends on the nation ))
<Douglas_Bounderby> (( Still. It's the core of the system... Even the best DM can't make up for the fact that an average peasant is not only no match for a low level fighter, but isn't even in the same league as it. ))
<AlcarDM> (( the average peasant is a myth. The old, retired level 15 fighter is the reality :) ))

<Nailo`^> "I can't leave the best chef in the world to be lunch for some random zombies!"

<Caltak> hmm, I jsut though, Two-bladed swords must have a weird looking sheath.
<AlcarDM> oh, you wont have to worry. its silver
<AlcarDM> eventually, it will hit someones armour and just bend :)
<Caltak> but its a +2 so its magic and resist damage more than normal stuff does, alcar :)
<AlcarDM> it used to be +5
* Caltak does point out magically enhanced weapons like this are supposed to be really resistant to getting damaged :P
<AlcarDM> getting bent into a pretzel doesnt damage it. It just a) becomes abstract art or b) hastens its changing into a plow

<Bali[Finalizing]> can I lower my int?
<Ike> Why?
<Ike> You're a dragon...
<Bali[Finalizing]> yeah. if i lower my int, my character creation process goes faster. i can have less skills. just wanna make it 10 or something
<Caltak{pcstuff}> yeah dragons are spose ta be smart. you could be a retarded dragon tho :)
<Pan`Ku> it's possible
<Pan`Ku> but odds are it wouldn't be a very old retarded dragon
<Pan`Ku> dumb dragon = dead dragon
<Ike> I mean... 13 is good...
<Ike> But less than that would be rather pathetic for a dragon.
<Bali[Finalizing]> that's okay, i have 20 now :)
<Ike> Jesus...

<Bali[Finalizing]> oh shucks. if i have fire breath, i can forge weapons and armor without a source of heat besides my own

<IkeDM> The main doorway swings open and a giant of a man, emerald green in color with large white wings and penetrating yellow eyes walks towards you all.
* Dracana`^ looks at mr. clea-- err green...
<IkeDM> He speaks in a booming and commanding voice. It almost frightens you how loud it is.
* Ansomn decides not to make any jolly green giant jokes

<IkeDM> "It is this reason that I have summoned you here. The brotherhood must be stopped from decieving the good people of the earth."
<IkeDM> "Their leader goes by the name of Azrael Diomedes. He is truely a force to be feared, even by immortal standards."
<IkeDM> "He is decietful, cunning, and sadistic to an exacting art. He will be your main opposition."
<IkeDM> "You may wonder why I've summoned you for this task as opposed to someone else."
<Lao``> "You want the best?"

<Ansomn> ((does anyone have magic items or not?))
<Lassie``> (( I have a collar and bandana ))
<Dracana`^> (( Bannana? ))
<Ansomn> ((magic banana of ...nevermind, that's just gross))

<IkeDM> At the end of the hallway a giant globe of incandestent green is whirling loudly, and you can see a rather old and wise looking gnome running a bit of machinery around it.
<IkeDM> The gnome speaks up. "So you're the group that's gonna save the planet, eh? Don't look too impressive to me.. Why in my day we were a lot better looking."
<Lao``> "Well, not everyone can be blessed with such large noses."

<IkeDM> You live in Dardunelles. :)
<IkeDM> And are currently engaged in combat with a fierce enemy... A 3 headed dog that breathes fire... *cough* Cereburus *cough*..
<IkeDM> BTW, this is your biggest rival around these parts. ;)
<Lassie``> rival to which? Being the top dog? Star billing? Coke ads?
<IkeDM> Uhm... The collection of bones in a local cave? I dunno...

* Rene` hangs out in a random alley and sighs, feeling the Hunger and half considering going after one of the dying people just for convenience, but is at the same time for some reason repulsed by it... partly because theres no sence in making them die sooner than they have to, but mostly because its like eating food that has been on the ground for a week.

<Alcar> OUtside the city the snow is fallin .. you find a nmice quiet cave to sit in and think....
<Alcar> the name Arkene rushes back into your mind and dances around ... you feel something, like a door opening, and close it so quickly you're sure you imagined it/
<Rene`> (( a cave, or the cave where I hid you-know-what? :) ))
<Alcar> the cave where you hid your collectiion of stuffed bears, yes.
<Rene`> (( lol ))
<Alcar> oh, and your coffin :)
<Chaos`^> (( You sleep with stuffed bears!? ))

<Nailo`^> (( Gemm's off in never never land, away from us ))
<Gemm> ((well ur all doing thinking, not my PC's area of expertise))

<AlcarDM> Villager: "The thump of hitting the ground .... is that not fainting?"
<Gemm> "No, it'd be when ur battlin' and ya chop a mans arm off"
<AlcarDM> villager: "Done that. Gnarl's kid, swung the axe and he was in betwixt me and the wood. Life getting spilled in the ground ain't a good feeling."
<Gemm> "heh, I live for it"
<Nailo`^> (( Gemm's a seasoned soldier ;p ))
<Magus`-`-> (so i've noticed)
<Gemm> ((or just an insane SOB))
<Caltak> (( nah hes just a half orc :P ))
<Magus`-`-> (both)

* Gemm walks to the woodcutters place(or something close to it) to find something to do
<AlcarDM> uh, ok Gemm .... you find the villager woodcutter isn't home. Hes busy hacking a girl and her grandmother out of a wolf's stomach, according to his wife
<Nailo`^> (( figures, damn woodcutters get all the fun =p ))
<Gemm> "well ma'am can I cut up some wood for ya'll while I wait?"
<Nailo`^> (( is Gemm texan? ))
<AlcarDM> (( hes half orc. NO difference ))
<Gemm> ((no, just acting the medival part, been reading books on the time ^_^() ))
<Caltak> (( texan half-orc :P ))

<AlcarDM> She nods slowly "It could ask for the death lovers life, the lion mans true death ... my death. Any sacrifice can be asked. What it gives ..... *shakes her head* "Much, too much perhaps. After Bred had it, it changed .... Perhaps it could bring [unknown words] back to the world ... "
<Nailo`^> "What's [unkown words]?"
<Sparkie> shoot
<Magus`-`-> "Good question"
<Magus`-`-> (if its sparkie we don't want it)

* Caltak looks at Gemm. "Why are you obsessed with killing?"
<Gemm> "its my way"
<Gemm> "I live to fight, and fight to live"
<Gemm> "or so I'm told"
* AlcarDM makes a mental note to give Gemm's tutor a raise
<Caltak> "You're almost right. But you're mislead. Killing is a part of life, but its not the whole meaning."
<AlcarDM> (( so speaks the player who made Faline? ))
<Caltak> (( hey, thats an entirely different matter :) ))

<AlcarDM> zee finds a few branches on the ground
<AlcarDM> Most of the trees tend to have an odd red tinge to their leaves
<AlcarDM> you do find some branche ... all wet and no dry wood, even though it doens't look like its rained recently.
<Zee```> "Hrmm... well, a little water never stopped me. Thanks for the wood."
* Zee``` nods to all the trees around him and picks up the wood, returning to the campsite
<AlcarDM> The trees don't reply. You can take that as a good sign.
* Zee``` makes a nice pile, and Matter Aggitates it into lighting on fire
<AlcarDM> The trees seem to loom over the glade. Zee gets the (hopefully irrational) idea they're angry with him for cheating the DM
<Zee```> ((oh great, i show up late, and two seconds into the game i piss the DM off :))

* Magus`-`- leaves nailo with the groop and starts wondering thought the village aimlessly stopping here and there for a breaf molment
<Caltak> (( village? ))
<AlcarDM> (( none of the rest of you see any village :) ))
<Magus`-`-> (oh that figurs)
<Caltak> (( oh, I see. He's high ;P ))
* Zee``` watches Magus, wondering if he's got some sort of mental problem or something.
<Caltak> (( this whole party is getting mental problems :P ))
<AlcarDM> Thorvin seems to be thinking the same thing Zee is, but he's also wondering if having mental problems means he can reduce a PCs pay. he smiles to himself. With luck, Nailo would end up owing him money

<Zee```> "I'm going to go contemplate death. See you all in a few."

<AlcarDM> The villagers mutter "demon spawn .. " and avoid Caltak
<AlcarDM> Magus - you see the normal trees, animals etc . .for about 3 miles. Then the dark trees and forest your left loom around it
* Zee``` points to the perimeter of the happiness and light
<Caltak> "Well, hello to you too." *not as sarcastically as it could have beem*
<AlcarDM> (( Uhm, zee is finding some villagers whose attitude to demons is based on americans to communism happiness and light? Cal was right ..this party IS insane ))
<Zee```> ((hey! i'm talking about the terrain!))
<Zee```> ((quite frankly, if i had the chance to make the streets of the village run knee deep with its' villagers blood, more power to me))

<Caltak> (( No! its like Evil Dead! The forrest is gonna swallow up the trail! and the bridge is gonna get all twisted up! :P ))
<AlcarDM> (( heh cal. As long as the trees rape no one, you'll be fine ))
<Caltak> (( hey...where did Nailo go? :P ))
<Caltak> (( j/k ))
<AlcarDM> (( eeww .. ))
<Caltak> (( well, Nailo <b>is</b> an elf, how wierd would it be? :) ))

<AlcarDM> The villagers decide to have a party because no demons came to eat them. Duriong the party, which lasts ALL the way until next session you all get druink on EXP and get 525 each
<Zee```> "Alright, so how do we get out? I'd rather be gone before the villagers find out they're trapped here for good."
<Magus`-`-> what do you meen?, they tossed a party instead of going on a killing sprea
<Baliadoc> they threw a party because they don't know they're stuck in the middle of nowhere with only the slimmest chance of survival ;)

<Greg``> morio's gun comes out, soomewhat. The big cat is on top of you, and behind it you see somthing vaguely human .. its got sharp claws, lots of teeth, spikes, a spiked tail and looks made out of living stone,. Its coming towards the jeep
<Morio> "oh shit...got the wrong one..."
<Morio> "Get off me damnit!"
* Andrew``` growls "Yeah right, you shot me, you ass hole!"
<Morio> "Do u see whats coming at us?!"
<Morio> "THATS what I'm suppose to get"
<Greg``> Ok, morio . .the giant can is trying to pin you, but you can get a shot at the other thing behind it
* Morio takes a shot at the other thing
<Greg``> The stone thing staggers back and yells in pain, the words coming out as some strange gibberish
<Morio> "See ya hear that damnit!"
* Andrew``` growls in Morio's face. "Right now I don't really give a flying fuck."
<Greg``> The stone creatures gets back up, shaking its head, and Morio notices it looks more like flesh than stone now "That .... hurt .... "
<Morio> "Ok fine...I'll cut you in...2K is what I'll give ya"

* Andrew``` still hasnt shrunk cause he feels safer this way ;)
<Greg``> lol
<Greg``> being 80' tall is a bad security blanket
<Andrew```> depends on the situation

<Jeramias> Anyhow, this is why I don't usually do combat. You all die ;)

<Darrele> why are you hiding? are we both hiding from each other 5 feet away?
<Angelica```> (( yep Darrele ))
<Angelica```> (( Im gonna hide and wait for you to come out ;) ))
<Darrele> oh jeez :)

<dbthewise13> Gelhalee? eh? What's he like?
<Warner> Gelhalee is what you get if you cross Galdalf, Capt Picard, and Bill Gates.

* Morio also spreading some poison onto the bullet tips in the 6-shooter
* Morio in final preperations he puts the bandoleer's on and holsters the 6-shooter and rifle onto himself and carries the shotgun out to his....station wagon....
<Greg``> Morio - do you remove the baby seat in the back? :)
<Morio> no
<Morio> in fact...
* Morio takes some clothes and other things to make the best looking baby he can and places it in the baby seat

<Greg``> The girl looks at Andrew, then up "Wow! You can grow?!"
<Andrew```> (( hold on a sec I just spilled my drink all over ))
<Greg``> The girl stops as the makeup artist comes in and redoes her hair and tells her to put more feeellinnng in it
<Greg``> girl: "Oh, this is so cooool! Are you cat man?!"
<Greg``> girl: "Oh, that does it! Hello, someone feed the idiot in the costume his lines? How am, I supposed to get an Emmy if he can't even read his script!"
<Andrew```> (( ok back ;P ))
<Greg``> Director: "Take 2!"
<Andrew```> (( ok so which of those were real? ;P ))
<Greg``> Girl: "Fluffy! You sabed fluffy! Oh, this is so cool! You're bigger than daddy! Are you Cat Man?"
<Greg``> that last one :)

<Djansryl> "The only good kender is a dead kender. but the best are served with teryaki sauce."

<Mors`^> "Well.. people tend to die when you drink their blood..."
<Rene```> "Not the way I do it."
<AlcarDM> (( Rene uses a straw ))

* Djansryl likes his answer to the what are you question.. Technically I am a being who was concieved by an intimite act between a formless intelligence and a human......
<Djansryl> Special sums it up nicely :)

* Mors`^ turns to Djansryl "Before something else happens, you might want to tell me what you are too.."
<Djansryl> "Confused?"

<Warner> Blueskull isn't useless on an adventure you know
<Warner> you can remove his brain cap and make a nice drinking bowl
<Warner> his teath make nice studs on your leather armor
<Warner> and when placed on a stick and waved in a threatening manner he can make little children drop their hollween candy

<Mordenkainen> This way, you can get your head bitten off by a dragon without even getting 5ft close to him :)
<Mordenkainen> that's realistic combat IMO
<EvilGM> but you still want the fantasy hero
<Alcar> fantasy here: I attack the dragon, and one swoop of my sword cuts its head off in a fountain of blood
<Alcar> realistic hero: I poison my blade, stab the dragon in the belly. The archers shoot poison and the mage fireballs it
<Alcar> modern hero: You kill the dragon and the king arrests you for murder of an endangered species :)
<Dusk_Knight> well with my character out there they soon will be endangered species

<Caltak> "It was still a tree, and if it didn't have roots it wouldnt have bothered to stay put when you were attacking it."
<Nailo`^> "Maybe it was just lazy."
<AlcarDM> Vel stands up, and stretches. He looks at caltak "Perhaps it didn't walk because trees have more sense that us."
* Nailo`^ whispers to Caltak "Anything could have more sense than thorvin."
* Caltak looks at Vel. "In that case, I would sincerely doubt it would have threatened Nailo. Or maybe it didn't, and she imagined that. Which is very likely."
* Nailo`^ looks at Caltak
<Nailo`^> "Ok, wich one of us speaks treeish here?"
<Caltak> "Which one of us went off with that horse-thing, and which one of us was messing around with supposedly magic items we found on the ground?"
<Nailo`^> "Hey, which one of us messed around with a gnome for money? which one of us almost killed our employer? Which one of us almost killed a fellow employee?"

<Nailo`^> "There is bound to be a dragon that wants to be found, after all of these years.. I can't go a day without attention..."
<Magus`-`> "perhaps but if there was some thing out here wanting to be found, it would have made its self known"
<Nailo`^> "I suppose, but I was actually trying to find a way to go to bed, but not have to be npc'd

<Chelsea`^> Ah... there are no nobs on the doors, I meant locked up as in, all of them are closed...
* Kelris goes in one then and looks around
<Chelsea`^> A small familiy puts down their silverware and look up at you startled. The assumed Father looks at you "Can we help you?"
* Drudwyn follows Kelris in out of curiousity
* Kelris looks back, shrugs and shakes his head, leaving
* Drudwyn spontaneously decides to play some music while the family eats
<Chelsea`^> uhm.. ok.. the Family looks at you like you're crazy and the man stands up "What is the meaning of this?"
* Drudwyn keeps playing hoping his steady rhythym and catchy beat will make the villagers stop with their questions and just enjoy a nice and entertaining meal

<Greg``> "Kent? Whats going on?"
<Peggy`Sue> geee- superman cusses...
<Kent``> ((i'm not superman, i'm reverse superman, and only 17 years old. Oh yeah, and i'm on bloody fire!!))

<Peggy`Sue> ((skills.. able to spray hoses over tall buildings))
<Shang`^> (( Peggy can create unatural water presure? ))
<Kent``> ((Peggy took all sorts of plumbing powers. works great for job security in the future))

* Shang`^ looks at the probably naked Kent... "Nice tan.."
<Kent``> "I didn't... whoever fried me did."
<Peggy`Sue> he he.... well i bet he runs the flying invisble tanning booth
* Kent`` has at least his boxers on. Remember, Superman protects the clothes closest to his body. that's why he wears spandex :)
* Greg`` grins at peggy "A bit overkill. Uhm, we need clothing ... " frowns, thinking .... "uh, what size are you kent?"
<Kent``> "Oh... right. Good lord! They took my dignity too!"

<Peggy`Sue> i think you need an alter ego- kent- a disquise
<Shang`^> "Yeah! you can be ManSuper!"
<Kent``> "ManSuper?"
<Shang`^> "Yeah, doesn't it sound cool? We could all you MS for short."
<Andrew```> "Well, Superman is taken."
<Kent``> "Wait, did you say MS? The people in the helicopter mentioned MS too..."
<Shang`^> "Oh, well... maybe they know your name is MS."
<Shang`^> "Whatever YOU say... MS..."

<Shang`^> "Yeah, a Red suit with Blue overwear, and a big M on the front.."
<Kent``> "Can't I just go with something tasteful? Like, a black suit or something, with some sort of symbol in the center? And can I please be something other than ManSuper? That's just stupid."
<Shang`^> "Well.. no, because now everyone knows you as ManSuper... So.. It will be impossible to change... think of Prince."
<Kent``> "You know me as ManSuper, you blockhead."
<Peggy`Sue> well its better than PMS man!
<Shang`^> "Yeah, and so does this whole group... it will spread, and then it will be more than impossible to change.."

<Kent``> "I could always be MegaMan. You think Capcom would mind?"
<Andrew```> "Probably."
<Kent``> "Hrmph."
<Shang`^> "Yeah, It hink so.. MegaMan is a robot.."
<Kent``> "Hmm... how about Power Guy? I've got powers, I'm a guy, it's kinda like superman, with different words."
<Shang`^> "It sounds like you're looking for a male date.."
<Kent``> "Oh blah."

<Shang`^> "What name did you decide on Kent?"
<Andrew```> "Beatdown, wasn't it?"
<Shang`^> "Beatdown? I thought you were takling about some kind of Spam sandwich."
<Kent``> "I'm thinking red and black for an outfit, eh? And probably some sort of hood or mask too, so people can't figure out who I am."
<Andrew```> "Hey and you could get away from the whole First-letter-on-your-costume thing, and have a fist or something on it."
<Andrew```> (( "You could always just start wearing glasses or something. Er, naw, that'd never work, people aren't that stupid." ))
<Peggy`Sue> beatdown? that makes you sound like a bullie
<Kent``> "But it's what I do ;)

* Shang`^ was asking Andrew his superhero name
* Andrew``` was ignoring Shang`^
* Shang`^ skips to Greg then
<Shang`^> "Greg, what about you?"
<Greg``> "How about we call you idiot man?"
<Andrew```> (( don't skip, it makes you look gay! j/k ;P ))
<Shang`^> "No.. that doesn't fit."
<Greg``> "Gay man?" tries to look innocent as he gets his ice cream
<Shang`^> (( It does .... when was the last time you saw a straight person skipping? ))
<Shang`^> "But.. I'm not Gay."
<Shang`^> (( are you SURE they were straight? ))
<Andrew```> "Homophobiaman? Stereotype Boy?"
<Shang`^> "I'm not Homophobic, and I'm not a stereotype of anything."

<Peggy`Sue> can you guys quit it? your not super heros..
<Peggy`Sue> have you ever saved anyone?
<Andrew```> "I saved a cat."
<Peggy`Sue> woo woo...
<Peggy`Sue> or fight super villains?
<Shang`^> "Yes, as a matter of fact, I have saved people.. but I don't want to talk about it."
<Peggy`Sue> your not super heros, ok? you don't even have your own toy!

<Shang`^> "I don't know anything about much.. What makes you think I do?"
<Greg``> "because no one can be as stupid as you seem."
<Shang`^> "I'm not Stupid!"
<Andrew```> "then you must be an even better actor than Judgement."
<Shang`^> (( You guys really think that? cause.. I was kind of putting my personality into Shang... wow.. that really changes my perspective of myself... ))

<Kent``> "I'm going to go tell my parents to get a room somewhere for the night. Anyone who doesn't want to stay and fight should leave now."
<Shang`^> "Hey, if we didn't want to stay, we'd leave."
* Andrew``` looks at Shang`^. "I sort of wish you did want to leave."
<Shang`^> "You know what Andrew, you're the anoying one here."
<Shang`^> "I mean, you'er insulting everybody, why don't YOU just get lost?"
<Andrew```> "Actually, I believe I was only insulting you. If I insulted anyone else, I appologize for that."

<Kent``> "And get some sleep. I don't want you two staying up worrying about this. I'm not going to."
<Greg``> they promise not to, but you know Ma well enough that she'll likeing phone you during the battle to see if everrthing is ok. You might want to turn your cell phone off :)
<Greg``> You attack the UN peaceforcer and here a ringing as he hits you in the head ..but you're head isn't ringing. its your side. You roll away to dodge the attack, expecting a microwve, then stop when you realise the ring is the cell phone :)
<Kent``> "Yeah? MA! I'm sorta fighting the hordes of evil right now, can we talk later? Yes, I showered. Yes, I brushed my teeth.... MA! Don't ask stuff like that!"

<Kent``> "Anyway, I've been thinking about how we're gonna deal with Judgement, if you'd care to hear my idea. Oh, they're doing fine. Worried, as usual, but they're gonna be safe."
* Andrew``` nods. "Good to hear. So, whats the plan?"
<Kent``> "Well, I'm hoping she can only copy one or two powers at a time myself, so I was thinking that if one of you attacks her with one of your powers, or two or some such, then I can come in and beat the living daylights out of her. If we do it fast enough, we can take her down before she gets too powerful."
<Andrew```> "Ack, maybe I shouldn't attack her then?"
<Kent``> "Well, how tough are you?"
<Andrew```> "Well, I would think an 80' tall Judgement might be bad."

<Andrew```> what do you think is better? Megapuma or Macropuma? ;P just tossing ideas around :P and both do work, as far as meaning of prefixes ;)
<Greg``> mega
<Greg``> macro would be easy for the press to abuse
<Andrew```> oh? how so?
<Greg``> the calgary sun picture of the sunboy. puma with a long, censored black line between its legs "Macropuma! Fake, or the hero of teen girls everywhere!"
<Andrew```> GAH..ok I see your point

<Zeunchie> wth is Synth
<Warner> the name of my D&D world
<Warner> Synth, the patch work world :)
<Warner> Some worlds are round, some are flat and disk shaped. mine is a quilt :)

<zeunchie> damn i have too much money left over
<zeunchie> 5.cp, 3.sp, 833.gp
<zeunchie> any "SPEICaL" stuff i can buy?
<Warner> Then may I mention the wonderfull work the Illithids for educated human youngsters is doing with orphens?
<zeunchie> bah huh?

<zeunchie> what color is the gem?
<Warner> its plaid with blue poka dots :P
<Warner> And it is as big as your fist. however its not worth much because no one wants a poka doted Gem :)
<Warner> to maintain your +2 you must care for and love your gem every day. Take it for walks. make sure it has things to play with. Don't let it get loanly :)
<Warner> And never feed it after midnight :)

<Gizmoe> how much gem weigh?
<Warner> oh I feel like being nice 1 lbs
<Alcar> unles stressed
<Warner> increasses mass when it feels threatened alcar? :)
<Alcar> yup
<Alcar> "Ah! We're about to be attacked! My gem is now 300 pounds!"
<Warner> hmm but that would make it a nasty weapon. throw it baseball style and it hits like a boulder :)
<Alcar> didnt consider that aspect ....
<Gizmoe> throw and lose the +2 intivite
<dbthewise13> But could you even lift it?
<Warner> if you suprized it :)

<Ters> So you admit that I saved your life?
<Zee```> not at all
<Zee```> in fact, i had to carry your unconsious body the 10 or so miles to the next town, where you got some real treatment
<Zee```> if you had just left, I could've saved myself the dead weight :)
<Ters> I saved you. Admit it.
<Zee```> You saved me from having a pleasant walk to the next town, and you saved me from being glorious in a battle against the odds, alone.
<Zee```> so yes, you saved me. Watch your back. ;)

<Caltak> "Also, can we take a slight detour to the south?"
<Zee```> "Why south?"
<Caltak> "Because I need to go there."
<Zee```> "Oh no. That doesn't work for me. The last time we followed directions without asking questions, I walked through a stone that charged me a recipe to pass."
dec<Caltak> "You got it back, though."
<Zee```> "You're right. The second time we went somewhere without asking questions, we went right back to where we started in the first place."

<Zee```> "How fast can you run?" *to Ters*
<Ters> "30 feet per round" ;)
<Zee```> "Don't forget to multiply that by 3 for running long distances."
<Ters> "I'm not an excellent runner. I might be able to keep up though."

<AlcarDM> Ok, The wemic runs. the ghost is giving chase a lot slower afer Nailo slapped it :)
<Caltak> "Nailo, I'm really sorry about this, by the way. But you were closest."
<Nailo`^> "Don't worry, This will just make the flame hotter."

<Zee```> "What are you doing, pray tell?"
<Magus`--> "Solving a problem"
<Nailo`^> "Your crystal is the problem, it posses a power nothing on this earth should have."
<AlcarDM> Vel: "As do we all, if we use it."
<Zee```> "Of course! And you're just the people to pass judgement! A woman who brings imprisoned souls back to life, and a man who wields a weapon that causes more pain than it could ever fix! Wonderful!"

<Alcar> you get +20 exp for best rp
<Chaos`^> oh +20!? Wow.. soo much ;p
<Alcar> you get +20 exp for best rp
<Caltak> nice!!
<Caltak> it gets to where you gotta get your PC thrown out of the party to win best RP ;P
<Alcar> you get +20 exp for best rp
<Jeramias> Did Spark vote for me? :)
<Jeramias> Are you just pittying me? :)
<Alcar> nah, gave everyone +20 :)
<Jeramias> Ah, so you were pittying me :)
<Jeramias> Or you just gave everyone 20 exp to see if they would come up with good quotes. That seems more likely :)

<Jeramias> Only I have the Bow of Jeramias. Wait a second. EVERY bow I have ends up being the Bow of Jeramias.
<Jeramias> Every sword I have, every rock I have, every potato I have... They all end up being the bow of Jeramias :)

* Baliadoc is coming up with character ideas left and right :)
<Alcar> lol. suich as?
<Baliadoc> some of them are kinda vague. thought up one that's kind of a terrorist turned survivalist, trying to save his kind from the animal invasion, rather then blowing them up to make a point :)
<Baliadoc> another is some sort of business man turned assassin. high on soul, very manipulative. gets the info he needs, then sends in a personal team of ninjas to kill the person. why? because I want to have a character some day have his own personal ninja death-squad. everyone should at some point in their life.
<Alcar> "What? You don't wear black pyjamas" *shoots ninja*

<Sin{Away}> "The fork, damnit! Use the fork!" Obi-wan to Luke on matters of ettiquete

<AlcarDM> He nods slowly "Frankly, I dont know of any magic that could do that."
<Djansryl> "Nor do I."
<Djansryl> "I was hoping some ancient texts might be able to shed some light on this."
<Djansryl> ((as everyone knows, all problems can be solved by reading random ancient books :) ))

<Caltak> when you say something will be fun, it usually means it will be evil...
* Caltak looks at Alcar suspiciously
<Alcar> medrel will be able to tell the whole city about your exploits
<Caltak> oh, lol. is that all? :P
* Alcar smiles . . the songs about the coffin lady will prove interesting to certain npcs
<Caltak> erk, oh yeah thats right. well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I guess.

<Keith`> and if my pc where here he would jump out the plain backwords so he could sharp shoot at the fuil tanks as he free fell

<^Tara> The UN is NOT smart. that's why we get our planes hijacked all the time. The Isralie's had 1 plane hijacked. their anti terrorist unit stormed the plane, killed all the terrorists, and 1/3 of the passengers. No one ever highjacked another of their planes.

<Z`^> "Listen, we're here on official bussines... May we please go by?"
* Z`^ pulls up his id on his notebook showing his rank 10
<AlcarGM> The man looks at Z. "There are 347 dead bodies on that plane."
<AlcarGM> Captain Taggart appartently wants a bit more of an explanation
<Moshe`> "Sir, I'd like to give a full debriefing, but I'd also like to suggest that we don't do it near the burning wreckage of the flight we were just on."
<Z`^> "Really, that's odd, there should only be 300, we need to talk about booking for overstuffing."

<Z`^> "Note to self, go through terrorist training in system."
<Z`^> "Well... I think It's dinner time.."
<Moshe`> "Uhm, Z. Perhaps you should also work on your indifference to matters of such importance. I believe it was your mood that greatly influenced the Captain's negative reaction to us."
<Z`^> "Oh? Why do you say that? Did I say something wrong?"
<Moshe`> "Well, besides the fact that you treated 347 deaths as if they were a mere booking problem, no. But then again, overlooking 347 deaths should do it."
<Z`^> *To AI* "Not to self, be 'nicer' next time."

<Mors`^> "I mean, I need someone to help me do my things while I travel. I travel alot, doing it alone is hard, I need a second hand."
<Mors`^> "Would you like to do that? be a second hand?"
<AlcarDM> (( oh, thats horrible ))
<AlcarDM> <Serise> "You have two already."
<Mors`^> "Then a third?"
<Mors`^> (( You're mind is in the gutter ))
<AlcarDM> (( no, you're just giving her great lines :) ))

<AlcarGM> Moshe lifts the cover to find a ferrt currently eating his breakfast :)
* ^Tara is munching happily on a sausage on Moshe's plate.
<Moshe``> "Oh. Hello."
<^Tara> <<standing in his eggs even. nice and warm>>
* ^Tara looks up
<^Tara> *gulp* Hi :)
<Moshe``> "Right... who're you, and what're you doing on this plate of food?"
<^Tara> Who are you, and why are you interrupting my breakfast?

<Moshe``> "You happen to know where the old chief of securities room is?"
<^Tara> Sure, follow me.
* ^Tara scampers off down the hall
* ^Tara turns the corner and dissappears into a large mouse hole
<Moshe``> "Right, where's this lead?"
<^Tara> two walls over and up is his sock drawer.
<Moshe``> "I'll need at least a rough estimate."
<^Tara> the room is just outside the drawer.
* Moshe`` translates that into people terms and looks around, then goes there, once the ferret starts moving

<Moshe``> "I'm not putting people on trial. I'm looking for clues."
<^Tara> then check under the couch, or behind the fridge. that's where everything winds up anyways.
<Gina```> (( gotta love ferret logic :) ))

<^Tara> <<thinking like a ferrit is makeing ny typeing worse>>

* Z`^ nods "Where are you going?"
<^Tara> to the security chief's office.
<^Tara> I left the dog there looking at poodleporn
<Z`^> "Yes.. cujo? Yes.."
<Z`^> "Where do you normally stay?"
<^Tara> the sockdrawer

<WarnerDM> when we last left our heros they had just been abducted, brain washed, transplanted to hand picked protected habitats where they will be monitored to see how they are adapting. :)
<WarnerDM> Thats right, the MIB considers adventures to be endangered. Personally I think Sparkie had something to do with that :)

<WarnerDM> The coffee is dark and rich, the coffee grinder is working perfectly
<WarnerDM> unfortunately the sadistic bastards havn't provided you with a brewer or a coffee pot
* Reawen rigs some together with bamboo, using those lessons she learned watching Gilligans Island as a child
<WarnerDM> and your starting to notice the coffee is growing in a pattern that makes you suspicous that this coffee is also cultivated
* Reawen looks around for crop circles j/k
<WarnerDM> The bamboo bends to your whims after it gets over the inicial shock of finding itself growing in the same type of area that coffee grows. :)
<Reawen> it was worth a shot :P
<WarnerDM> hehe hell this is Synth. If reality feels like it penguins can live with polar bears.
<WarnerDM> knowing me meaning that the penguins will take up polar bear skining as a hoby :)

* Robert``` could be really evil and come up with a song for where he is...no, too evil.
<Reawen> robert - Otyugh sex does NOT make good poems
<Reawen> Squishy, squishy, squishy. *moan* *pant* *grunt* slpooch. Slurp. Squelch.
* Baliadoc really thinks you didn't need to act that out for us.
<Robert```> I think we get the picture
<Jeramias> I need therapy.

<WarnerDM> While the DM microwaves some more chinese (the food not the people) Petra will horfy Robert``` by using the 7 most terrifying words a femail can utter:
<WarnerDM> .oO(We need to talk about our relationship)
<Robert```> (( uh oh... ))
* Robert``` pauses for a moment, partially because of not know what to say and partially because of trying to plot how to kill the DM (j/k on that part) .oO ( Uh..yeah, we probably should... )

<MyBrains> so can we play UA?
<Anne--> su re- go get a bat
<MyBrains> will a large mace do?
<Anne--> sure- then smack yourself hardly in the privates, thats the same feeling you get when the dm screws you over and you charater gets eaten by a zombie

<LuNu90PoundHunk> Is This a Game?
<Anne--> the hot spots are the food court.. and the Swap shop
<Alcar[semi-here]> LuNu90PoundHunk - we're currently planning a game where the pcs are all teenage girls in a mall looking to get a prom dress and dates by 5 o clock
<LuNu90PoundHunk> i was look for a fantasy RPG
<Alcar[semi-here]> LuNu90PoundHunk - rping a teenage girl getting a prom dress, date and to a prom in 4 hours isnt fantasy?
<LuNu90PoundHunk> well yes but im looking for Dragon and wizard types
* Anne-- ok your a wizard, your spells are " makeup" "flash dance" and " cute guy alarm"

<mecurdius> game start!!!
<mecurdius> ok.. Your all gathered in the town of Fynhorn in the tavern its late at night.
<Eratul> (every time its a damn tavern...)
<Atropos-> ((Shush eratul :P))

<mecurdius> "u look like adventurers u must have more friends"
<Atropos-> "We have a letcherous aqauintance.. she will be here soon."
<mecurdius> "ur gonna need all the help u can get."

<Portia```> (( *foomp* Suddenly, the city arround you is just gray ash, there are a few people standing arround wondering what happened. "Again?!" ))

<AlcarDM> The dragon looks down at the 4 of you, power seeming to flow around the air and a feeling of danger strikes you. "Who dared callAthrosh?"
<Portia```> "It is I who seeks you."
<AlcarDM> Athrosh: "Why?" coldly
<Portia```> "Because you're still alive. It's sort of complicated. I'm sure that you aren't very interested in human affairs so I'll shorten it up a bit."
<AlcarDM> Athrosh: "Do so."

<AlcarDM> Elf: "All races have the taint. Humans just accepted it. Bred cleansed it once from them, but did not make them immune to its return. He erred."
<Djansryl> "Who is Bred?" (and how much history is the DM making up at this point? :) )
<AlcarDM> (( actually none :) ))
<Djansryl> ((I'm impressed.. I guess I'll jut have to try harder :) ))

<Jeramias> I wish that I had known I was half-dragon when I made my PC. I don't need the stats, but I could've at least given myself funny looking toes!

<AlcarGM> kris falls back, bleeding profusely from the shot to the chest and htis the ground with a wet thud
<Hubert```> "Kris!"
<AlcarGM> <Kris> "Uh .. "
<AlcarGM> Your father shakes his head "You really should have picked your friends more carefully ..... "
* Hubert``` glares at his Dad. "What is the meaning of this?!"
<AlcarGM> Eva "It means one less for supper." She is standing, and seems fine though she rubs her arm
* Hubert``` is at a loss for words

<ArminMiles> "what happened to you?" at kris
<AlcarGM> <Kris> "Shot." shortly "trying to convince my body the wound isnt here."
<ArminMiles> "It doesn't seem to be working well"
<AlcarGM> <Kris> "im not dead."
<ArminMiles> "not all gunshot wounds are instantly fatal, you shoud get that looked at"
<ArminMiles> "you might get a bad infection"
<AlcarGM> <Kris> "it was through the lung." pause "oh, it also skimmed the heart and took about 1 pint of blood. Maybe 2."
<ArminMiles> "You REALLY shoud get that looked at'

<The_Pharaoh420> You make the pass about 65' down the hall and take a sharp 180 turn inward.
<Sleaker> 180?
<Sleaker> that is completely back

<The_Pharaoh420> Are we going to play tonight?
* The_Pharaoh420 wants to be a pc..
<anne-ooc> he he.. ok.. LET MY PEOPLE GO
* anne-ooc turns her staff into a snake

<Yosho132> you are all transported to a platform in the middle of space
<Mordero-the-sorcerer> "I can't breathe, the walls are closing in on me, I'm in space!"
<Mordero-the-sorcerer> "The pressure is killing me, I can't take it............"
<Yosho132> you can all breath
<Yosho132> you are all alive
<Mordero-the-sorcerer> "Oh, nevermind"

* Baliadoc kinda wants something that could fly, if need be. Though that might take a while. could just go with random joe horse, too ;)
<Alcar> how about Egan?
<Baliadoc> Egan?
<Alcar> cals dragon he rants about all the time
<Alcar> perfect paladin mount, a cowardly wimpy dragon
<Alcar> scaled down lots :)
<Baliadoc> oh wait! NO! Not Egan!! NO NO NO

<Keith`> jesters where always kinda fun to play too
<Alcar> Yeah
<Alcar> tho a jester kender wouldnt work too well .... "You're a kender. Isnt that joke enough?"
<Keith`> yah jester kender are realy REALY odd
<Keith`> will walk thought a croud juggling and still mannage to pick a few pockets

<Lorath_Dakor> "I'm Lorath Dakor, Priest of Torm"
<Lorath_Dakor> "I just paid that merchant to keep him from calling the guards on you"
<Milo_tealeaf> well, I am Milo Tealeaf, taker of your stuff
<Milo_tealeaf> Well thank you Lo, you wouldn't like to pay to so I don't call the guards on him, would you?
<Lorath_Dakor> "Are you a fool?"
<Lorath_Dakor> "err... wait... don't answer that"
<Milo_tealeaf> No, but I was hoping you were

<Lorath_Dakor> Perhaps I should journey with you to keep you out of trouble
<Milo_tealeaf> You will? *gets excited* Are you my daddy? My daddy always took me places to keep me out of trouble when I was a wee small lad
<Lorath_Dakor> Yeah... sure... whatever it takes to keep you out of trouble

<Z`^> "Randall, can you feel cujo around?"
<^Tara> I hope so. I don't want to be responsible for all the thinking around here.

<Alcar> Z - the door to the building is locked, and the windows barred from the insane
<Alcar> inside
<^Tara> dam, if it's barred from the insaine, how are we supposed to get in?

<^Tara> I found the keys, I'll drive....
* Gina``` looks at Tara. "No."
<^Tara> why not?
<^Tara> looks easy enough.
* Vincent`-`-` looks at his sucking chest wound and wonders if he just heard what he thought he heard
<Gina```> "How would you even reach the pedals?"
<^Tara> the hell with the pedals, how would I see over the dashboard?
* ^Tara falls over laughing
* Gina``` shakes her head
<^Tara> I can't believe you thought I could drive.

<^Tara> nothing ever occures to pc's that is why all the modules are written so badly.

<Keith`> diablo is good, its a video game vertion of D&D with out the crappy puzzle and none killing parts in it
<Keith`> if i'm playing a video game thats D&D like i want nothing but killing damn it

<Resur> "It's called the cave of fluff?" *laugh* "Seriously?"
<gnawgitch> "yes..."
<gnawgitch> *shrugs* "lets continue"
<GizmoeDm> ((Resur you wont laugh when you see a fluff))
<Resur> (( sure but I dont know that yet ))
<gnawgitch> ((turns out fluff is the name of the abyssal lord of the 783rd level of the abyss hehe))

<Z`^> (( moshe's missing a hand... like luke skywalker... Moshe, I am your father ))
<Moshe```> ((don't scare me like that ;))
<Z`^> (( Come to the dark side moshe, you don't know, the power of the dark side.. ))

* Moshe`` looks back to Tara and Max
* ^Tara is stomping in small circles
<Moshe``> "For the trouble you two have gotten into because of us, I apologize. Lady Luck has been very fickle with you two, and you didn't deserve it. Thank you for your help, Tara. It's been appreciated."
* ^Tara keels over.
<^Tara> Wow, thank you. at last someone recognises the effort we put into saveing your worthless baccons, repeatidedly.
<^Tara> ...no.
<^Tara> that's not right, you have enough value to be worth the cost of 3 bombs and a city.
<^Tara> What the fudge is going on here?

* ^Tara mutters, to go with the one who recognises greatness, or the one with food. decisions, decisions.

<Moshe``> ah well. I had a plan, it failed. I suffered the consequences, plus a little girl blew up 5 important officials. we all have off days

<WarnerDM> Gizmoe had some one with him who will materialize if I can't remember who and if they're player is around
<Robert`-`> (( grassy knoll with a sniper rifle? ))
<WarnerDM> ((Robert is given the bad joke bobbie prize for today. Thank you, we would have also accepted a referance to the fact that a knoll is a D&D monster))

<WarnerDM> As you both emerge into the daylight people passing by regard you coldly. One actually wispers to another, "I hate when it rains like this and the sewers get backed up"
* Robert`-` appraoches one .oO( Excuse me, what city is this? )
<WarnerDM> "W-W-W-W-W" he says clearly a little intimidated to be sudenly contfronted on the street by a 7 foot tall (or what ever you are) tenticaled mass of bio friendly sewage disposal system
<WarnerDM> Espically one thats lost and looking for directions :)

<WarnerDM> You charge heroicly into the frey having no idea whos side your on, what your fighting for, or even who you asked to get paid after its all over. The great spirit of Groo the Wander decends on you both :)

<WarnerDM> They let there polearms level in your direction and you realize your now facing 3 blocks of 20 soldgers each who seem very interested in making it off this battle field alive
* Drestin retreats towards a better position
* Gizmoe yells to Drestin "Maybe We Can Side With one side"
* Gizmoe Scrables behide Drestin
<WarnerDM> The polearms interlock in such a way that you can easily see 9 of them getting attacks on you before your in range to swing
* Drestin scrambles behind Gizmoe and pushes him in front
<WarnerDM> Drestin and Gizmoe fall over each other as they retreat back to the woods. the blocks of polarms dont follow

<WarnerDM> As you look back you notice the block you deceminated was mostly wearing red. Joining the blue side might save some explinations later
* Gizmoe runs to the Blue Leader

<WarnerDM> She says, "But ladys do not drink coffee. It simply isn't done!" she blurts out exasperated
* Reawen looks at her "It can be if you want to. You're the lady. I drink it all the time myself."
<WarnerDM> Perkins seems to ignore reawens protests as he poors the lemonaid. It sweating with cold despite the lack of icecubes. It smells nice and you are a bit thirsty after eating raw coffee grounds

<WarnerDM> Petra .oO(What do I do?) .oO(What do I do?)
<WarnerDM> petra is dancing about like a 6 year old human in need of a bathroom
<WarnerDM> an impresive feat for a 500 lb neo otyugh :)
<Reawen> (( except for the fact that she IS the bathroom :) ))

<WarnerDM> The CC settles down and starts pressing its madibles to your hind quarters
<Robert```> .oO( Grrr..when I can move again, you're gonna get it! GAH! HEY!! )
<WarnerDM> ((wait, if your the PC talking about the player how do you do that in OCC ()'s? OW OW OW!))
<WarnerDM> Mom Robert``` broke my brain
<WarnerDM> again :)
* Robert``` (( is a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a flour tortilla :) ))

<WarnerDM> the CC however is scared for life having discovered first hand why Otyughs have no natural preditors
<WarnerDM> Same reason skunks don't :)
<WarnerDM> Robert``` is uncerimoniously dumped out of the cave in a heap
<Robert```> (( and here I thought Carrion Crawlers eat anything :) ))
<Robert```> (( so dead and decaying flesh is great, but I guess things coated in sh*t are off the menu, hunh? ;P ))
<Robert```> .oO( It's ok, I'm fine...except for my dignity... )
<Reawen> (( so much for having them kill of politicians then :) ))

<Vincent`-`> "We all have our sins, its just how we end up paying for them that sets us appart"

<Caltak> can you kill him away from me, though? please? :)
<Baliadoc> should i have him wash your clothes before i kill him, too? sheesh, I don't take requests when i'm killing someone.

<Caltak> oh and you wanna hear how they got away from the squad of orcs without having to fight?
* Alcar recalls HS games . ..sex with all of them?
<Caltak> lol no
<Caltak> one pc was so high he was failing all his rolls (dm actually took that stuff into account with the rolls) so he sat down and pleasured himself a while. He halucinated and thought his reproductive organ was a snake. He ran around screaming, trying to beat the supposed snake to death. The squad of rocs that came alone saw this, and decided it better not to attack the party. :)

<Montoya```> "I'm being followed by someone, and I'm fairly certain they're using magical means. Though how they got around my wards intrigues me."
* Gina``` shrugs "Everything has its weakness, the trick is finding it. I guess they found the weakness in the system."
<Montoya```> "Up for 5 hours and someone able to kill me without me knowing it is already in the circus. My job is never done."

<StoneForge> (( i wonder why no one is stealing the gold from the temple ))
<Zacharel> (( common sence? ;) ))

<}BuRNe{> my char fills all of the requirement except for death

<Drake``> ((oh yeah! description!))
* Drake`` upon examination, Drake does indeed have features! He is a tall man, with powerful, bulging muscles. However, he carries himself with the nimbleness one connotes to a sailor. His hair is black, with white at the temples, and salt streaks throughout. His eyes are blue, and though a bit dull with time, still sharp with knowledge and wit

<Aleric> ((oh holy crap I almost said "dude" in character))

* Zacharel shakes his head. "No one should have that kind of power. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
<Aleric> "there's no such thing as absolute power"
<AlcarDM> Kirith: "Power doesn't corrupt, friend. Power just is. People corrupt power, often enough. Look at politics."
<Aleric> "everything has a weakness, it's the way of nature"
<AlcarDM> (( But is it the way of DMs, Aleric? :) ))
<Aleric> ((only the uncreative ones :)))

<Zacharel> the ring I'm showing you is broken cleanly in half, and glowing slightly. also has words in Celestial engraved on it
Drake``> getting to that in just a second :)
<Zacharel> it says "one ring to..." oh whoops, wait, wrong ring :P
* Drake`` beats on Cal

<Alcar> <John Connor> nods then looks at you "Are you .... comfortable ... sharing a tent with me?"
<Gina```> "The real question is, are you?"
<Alcar> <John Connor> "You can't kill me." simply
<Gina```> "I wouldn't try to." *just as simply*
<Alcar> (( Romeo and Julliet, eat your hearts out! :p ))
<Gina```> (( pffft, they killed themselves. its killing each other thats the trick ;) ))

<^Tara> <<just charge blindly forth, more likely to kill pc's that way>>

<Dal-DM> "It takes you an hour to climb the large stairs. The combination of your tiredness and desire to cast spells on everyone you fucking see takes its toll."
<[Himo]> * hehe i only do that when I get mad*

<[Himo]> *reads the titles of the books on the shelf quickly
<Dal-DM> "Kama-Sutra, How To Be A Pimp, Dragons & You, So You Want To Be a Porn Star, and Ancient History.
<[Himo]> *hmm thinks damn i think this person who lives here is a cool person*

<[Himo]> *tries to get to his dagger*
<Dalener-DM> "Its going to be tough."
<Dalener-DM> "Well, considering you have a crazy homicidal maniac on you, it'd be tough."

<Dalener-DM> He slices face, a nice cut that goes from your mouth to the corner of your eye, he then pulls down his mask and licks the blood. "Mmmmmm magically delicious!" He sqeuals.
<Dalener-DM> (what are you doing?)
<[Himo]> (trying to find a way to get him off of me)
<Dalener-DM> "It'd be tough."
<[Himo]> (why do you keep saying that?)
<Dalener-DM> You try forcing him over you, but you end up looking like you are trying to eagerly molest him. Because it would be.

<[Himo]> *thinks hmm now all i have to do it report back to those damned wizards*
<Dalener-DM> "The rift opens and the wizards step out."
<Dalener-DM> "You rang?"
<[Himo]> "Oh you could not have come a little sooner?"
<Dalener-DM> "No, we couldn't."
<[Himo]> "I just got totally beaten by a madmad in all black!!!"
<[Himo]> "I will need more firepower to do anymore of this sort of job"
<Dalener-DM> "Oh, here."
<Dalener-DM> "He reaches into the rift and pulls out a shotgun looking weapon. He tosses it to you."

<[Himo]> any tips?
<Dalener-DM> yeah
* Dalener-DM places a $5 dollar bill in [Himo]'s jar.

<^Tara> It must be the overexposure to humans that is makeing me flub my computer rolls....

<AlcarGM> Taras gets some from the computer, sent as a virus :)
<^Tara> I should be looseing exp for those rolls...
<^Tara> I'm serious, I didn't get to screw anyone over, except myself
<^Tara> I refuse exp for tonight

* Aleric climbs the rails of the ship, ties a rope around his waste and ties it to the ship
<AlcarDM> Ok, Aleric. A crew member secures it for you tighter
* Aleric nods to the crew member...
<Aleric> "when I say pull, ya'll yank me back FAST"
<Aleric> "understood?"
<AlcarDM> he nods
<Aleric> ((oh hell, i just said ya'll in character))

<AlcarDM> hmm, you know ... people have hit lots of "soft" logs in Loch Ness ...
<AlcarDM> Does d&d have stats for Nessie yet?
<Aleric> did you know they proved Nessie to be non-existant?
<Aleric> ((it's true, there's not nearly enough fish or plant life to maintain a creature that size for any period of time))
<Zacharel> (( it eats people, duh :P ))
<Zacharel> (( she's just very sneaky about it :) ))

<AlcarDM> The captains boy, who is A) With the crew, B) Really a boy, C) Not the secret heir to lost kingdoms and D) axctually just the human boy he seems like tells the captain that the shipment of rugs in the hold are fine.

<Drake```> "I could simply have marched right through armies of orcs to talk to Nanoc, but I find turning a profit while keeping my eye on things to be the best way around a situation."
<Drake```> "Plus, would you rather they killed to get their ships? It was only a matter of time. I just saved a few lives."
<AlcarDM> <Kirith> shrugs "Perhaps. Do you know why they are invading?"
<Aleric> ((Drake, meet your real life equivelant, Benedict Arnold))
<Zacharel> (( well on the upside, they named an Egg dish after him :) ))

<Ruby-Heart> "Personally I always thought Orc made better sword sheathes than cutomers"

<Zacharel> (( "And perhaps pigs will fly-- wait, wait, I forgot about Celestial Pigs." ))
<K`--`> (now that sounds like a good charicter idea)
<AlcarDM> (( that would be fun .... ))
<Aleric> ((oh great))
<Zacharel> (( Celestial Pig that flys around, entertaining people at life's many line-ups :) ))
<AlcarDM> (( Buzz slaughterhouses "THou Shalt Not Make My Brethren Into Sausages!" ))
<Zacharel> (( Man: "Hey baby, wanna go out for some drinks later?" Woman: "When pigs fly." *PC flys overhead. There is an uneasy pause* Man: "So.. is 8:30 ok?" Woman: 'Yeah, sounds good." ))

* Aleric produces snores you would have NEVER thought you'd hear out of a 4'5", 80 lb elf
<K`--`> (looks like an elf snores like a dwarf)
<Zacharel> (( better than talking in your sleep..I dont think any of us want to hear about the kind of stuff elves dream about :) ))

<AlcarDM> The Wave Chaser continues its journey south, chasing waves and sailing past the ruined city of Keep out into the ocean.
* K`--` takes off his armor and his swords "I'm going for a quick swim" then dives into the water
<AlcarDM> K frolicks in the ocean with the pretty mermaid :)
* K`--` (chears)
<Zacharel> (( frolick? oh is that what they call it nowadays? ))
<K`--`> (well you know what a fro is don't you)

<AlcarDM> you hear a voice that is no voice YES, MY CHILD?
* Zacharel is a bit surprised
<Zacharel> "uhm... I was wondering... well you see, apparently some avatar or some god-- the story's a bit hazy-- seems to be trying to destory this ship. I was wondering if there was some hope of the ship pulling through?"
<Zacharel> "Oh... thats true... what I mean is is there any significant chance of it?"
<AlcarDM> You appear on the top of the ship, tied to the mast
<AlcarDM> (( your goddess seems to be in an odd mood :) ))
* Zacharel is surprised, but trys to ignore it and continue the conversation :)

<Zacharel> anyway, whats up with mny godess? that time of the month? ;P j/k

<Caltak> 5 more ranks of Swim, plus Endurance feat should help me out some
<Baliadoc> are you planning on leveling again while you're drowning? ;)
<Caltak> no Bali I'm saying I just got 5 more ranks of swim, plus endurance feat :)
<Baliadoc> ohhh, gotcha
<Caltak> I levelled while I was flying through the air, towards the water :)

* Gandolt points his staff at the nearest swordsman
<Dungeon_Master{MF}> The Swordsman is Crushed by his own armor
* Gandolt looks at the staff, then the swordsman, and pouts "That was boring. I prefer the pretty grass."
<Angelica```> (( and I'm sure we know which grass he means, dont we kids? :P ))
<Gandolt> (( actually, hes a wizard. So you dont.,To him, females are more mysterious that quantum math. ))
<Gandolt> (( also harder to understand and cause his body to act in odd ways he hans't been able to properly categorize yet. ))

<Alicia_Ganatea> I am doing like 8 things at once so If I am slow or non-Responsive Assume I fallow the others or Hide behind a table, thank you
* Ike likes table top wargames.. The only stats you worry about are "living" or "dead"

* Keith` is realy starting to like the idea of being god
<Wolfie``> oh?
* Keith` may dm more often
<Wolfie``> lol

* Wolfie`` says as sternly as he can "The cat was violating Section 8 of the town charter."
<^Tiffiny> Whats that?
<Rahad```> (( wheres the ASPCA when you need it? :) ))
<Kajour`-`> (well that would be public indecencie, but its a cat so it doesn't count)
* Wolfie`` hesitates for a brief moment "Vagrancy laws."
<^Tiffiny> really? I didn't know those applied to animals

<Kajour`-`> <guard> "so thats why people 3 blocks over where complainning about you running around in the street and swinging your sword about at a cat like a mad man"
<Kajour`-`> the guard looks at the cat and sets it on the ground not even saying a word about it
<^Tiffiny> Yea, he was protecting the peacee from the criminal types
* ^Tiffiny looks at the cat. "you're not a crimanimal are you?"

* ^Tiffiny tosses the cat back up in the tree
<Kajour`-`> ok, the cat is in the tree
* Drifter2 places something on her windowsill then moved back into the room.
* Wolfie`` goes home to sleep the guilty sleep of would be murderers everywhere
<Vance``> ((this game is getting dark and scary!))
<^Tiffiny> <<and we almost got to fight a house cat>>
<Rahad```> (( of course you would then find out the Cat is reallythe familiar of a level 18 wizard... ))

<Keith`> "Hay you wouldn't happen to be intorested in seeing to it that none of our people get hurt next time we stage an event on the golden gate would you?"
<Lance```> "Sure, I'd love to help. Don't demonstrate on a bridge. It's a long fall."
* Keith` frowns at lance
* Lance``` grins at Keith`

<Lance```> the way this is going, i can just tell Lance is going to die. i can just see it coming :)
<Alcar> rofl. why?
<Lance```> a) Beth has weird cloning/time/hooha shiznitz going on. b) her killer speaks only in poetry. that means 1) he's insane, or 2) he's pure evil, and c) this just all reeks of bad mugumbo, the kind which would get me promoted to Detective, on the condition i survived it.

<Lance```> "Weird. Suspected murderer and general psychopath in the area."
<Lance```> "I also need forensics here ASAP."
<Alcar> Dispatch: "Say WHAT?" sound of coffee being dumped in lap and general cursing. "Swat team on its way, all available officers alerted."
<Marie```> (( lol on an albatros? heh ))
<Marie```> (( SWAT? oh jesus :P ))

<Lance```> "Keep it low key, a few officers at most. I don't want attention being drawn to whoever is doing this."
<Alcar> Dispatch: "Roger that."
<Lance```> "Over and out." *continues to look around, and picks his gun up*
<Alcar> Within minutes, 2 police cars come down the road, sirens off, coming to a halt. Within 20 minutes, the number of phone company and appliance vans in the area quadruples.
<Alcar> no one gets better service tho :)
<Lance```> ((that's the police for you. All show, no service ;))

<Alcar> Random Officer comes over from looking behind the other house. "Sir *to lance* we found what they used to, uhm, shoot it .. "
<Marie```> (( its a birdapault :) ))
<Lance```> ((i can't believe you just invented that word.))
<Alcar> behind the other house, between 2 trees, in a large rubber band, like a slingshot, but much bigger. With a winch. And papers on teh ground beside it, with angels and lines of fire and such on them - also written like the letters, in THiS type of magazine taken stuff
<Alcar> it must have been harder to copy the instructions than to figure them out :)
* Lance``` rubs his temples again
<Lance```> "I'm glad I have a date with a news reporter. She'll probably marry me after having dinner out here."

* Lance`` makes sure to radio in that we need a full squad down here, and that we're locking the area down. Also explains to the Phillips and Ms. Wethers exactly what's going on, calls Keith when his Player is around again, and then gives his date a call, and sees if chinese take out at the scene of a crime involving a psychopath who bases his workings on the writings of Coleridge will be alright instead of dinner and dancing at Che Lummiere
<Alcar> The reporter says "I'll pay for the meal." very quickly :) Her name is Anna Strong.

* Britu flys at the nearest one, yelling "Death from above!!"
<Elana-Silvereye> one of the abishai hisses as Britu's weapons slashes it's shoulder
<Elana-Silvereye> Black Abishai: "Hissssss"
* Britu is hit so hard he does a backflip in midair in front of it. "Well, I never said whose death..."

<Xarr> Morrid searches the orc ship for Elvish porn magazines depicting naked trolls engaged in unholy carnal acts

<AlcarGM> Sally: "You actually think someone would try and hurt us?"
<Lance```> "It's possible. I'll admit, a stuffed bird in a window isn't exactly lethal, but I'm willing to bet they won't stop there."
<Marie```> "Well maybe if we're lucky they'll just launch more birds at us."

<Marie```> "Oh, just a couple things. That grey stuff I told you about before, it looked kinda like it came out of Beth's hair. Also, i'm fairly sure I saw the girl kick Beth in the neck. By accident, most likely."
<PerryWalther> "So little Suzie may be our culprit?"
<Marie```> "Possibly, but if so probably by accident."
<AlcarGM> (( Go and arrest her on murder 1 :p ))
* PerryWalther (may do that to make up for the theft of the safe...)
<AlcarGM> (( Uh. Are you serious? ))
<PerryWalther> (lol, no)
<AlcarGM> (( whew! ))

<Caltak> its just a matter of time until Disney has enough money to launch whatever evil plot they're concocting.
<Caltak> personally I think they're going to form an army out of the children of the world and then declare themselves their own country
<Caltak> I mean, fighting against their own kids would seriously lower the morale of any other army. :)
<Caltak> quite a good plan, really
<Caltak> and if that fails, I'm pretty sure that giant orb in Epcot Center is a cleverly disguised Doomsday Device.
<Caltak> You know, I'm sure that rumor about Walt being frozen was started to keep anyone from suspecting the truth-- that he is in fact a robot with hitler's preserved brain in it.

<Marcus_Fenway> A Dominatrix, that would make a Good PC Class.... Class Skills include, Rope Use, Bluff, Intimidate, Innuendo, Sense Motive, Tumble... Weapons(Whips, Chains, Lasso), Armor(Any Leather)

<Keith`> hmm now this is ironic, or twisted sence of fate an 18 in D&D is gotten by 666

<Lance```> "Hello, Mr. Npc. I've got a question for you, if you have the time? I'd like to know what kind of woman Beth was. Just the way she acted, the things she was into, that kind of stuff."
<AlcarGM> Mr. NPC "Beth .. well, beth was a bit hard sometimes .... tough. Not someone you'd mess around with. (pause) "I think she might have used drugs too .. sometimes she'd come into work and not seem to know what anything was ... "
<Keith`> (oh dear god they are going to find out the kinky things she liked to do on video camra, great now my charicter is realy in truble (JK))

<Dalener> "its a dark and stormy night, lightning strikes you player, but your +5 ring of magic recistance, chain mail of recistance, jock strap of recistance, and contacts of recistance take most of the damage, delivering 5 hp to your 180 total." "Alright, I'll walk into the bar"

<DalGM> After about three blocks, he calms down. "So, what the hell happend back there?"
* Jake_Thomas gives his home address, trying to get his breathing back to normal
<Jake_Thomas> "I ... I ... " Takes a few deep breaths "I don't know .... "
<DalGM> "I know"
<Jake_Thomas> "Huh?" Looks at the driver somewhat wildly, as if expecting to see glowing eyes
<DalGM> You look into the rear view mirror, he smiles, his eyes tint red for a second, neon phospherous glow, then go back to normal.

<Tish`> Thaco is wonderfull. it keeps people who are too stupid to subtract from playing D&D

* Rahad` goes and kills the ones that are bleeding to death
<Rahad`> "No sence dragging it out."
* Tish` starts bandageing the thieves, (mostly for practice)
* Drifter2 searches them for any goodies they might be carrying.

<Alcar> actually, dont think - aside from the threatening notes and albatross - beth has actuall commited a crime
<Caltak> is slingshooting albatroses actually a crime?
<MyBrains> 1d100 -Law enforcement
<Sparkie> MyBrains 1d100: 59
<MyBrains> dang, I wouldn't know. My skill is 30
<Alcar> you dont roll for that! Use common sense!

* Silver`Foxx stores the "Gina bubble" in the cargo hold and quick silvers herself and it..
<AlcarGM> (( On another world, an enterprising wizard wakens from a sound sleep "I have it! The perfect candy name: gina bubble!" And Gelhallee wanders off ))

<AlcarGM> AI: "Removal of spaceport from three dimensional context via nuke is now lagged."
* AlcarGM will assume Vincent somehow runs :)
<Vincent`-`-> umm yah no shit
<Vincent`-`-> err wait can the control tower AI access the web/net?
<AlcarGM> yes but the UN is dropping a nuke on it soon :)
<Vincent`-`-> "AI, uplink to global network, "Called back to life" I need emergancie evactuwation for one need to clear a nuke blast zone i'll be running from quordinance XY due (north or what ever the road is)"
<AlcarGM> (( OOH! ))
<AlcarGM> (( nice! ))
<Vincent`-`-> (I never forget a trump card)
<AlcarGM> AI (in a different tone of voice): "command initated. Contamination sequence activated."

<AlcarGM> AI: "Bomb cancelled. Recalled to life."
<Silver`Foxx> what does that mean???
<AlcarGM> you have no idea
* Silver`Foxx slams her hands down in fustration

<Alcar> Voice: "Do you think eating meat is murder?"
<Alif_Shekara> <<yes, unless it'a made from 100% pure vegetarians>>

<Alcar> Voice: "What circumstances make killing 343 people on an airplane reasonable provocation, Ms. Steele?"
<Gina```> "I... well, I don't know."
<Alcar> Voice: "Are you often uncertain?"
<Gina```> "Yes."
<Alif_Shekara> <<maybe>>

<Alcar> You find yourself standing on nothing, surrounded by nothing.
<Gina```> "This is vaguely familar..."
<Gina```> "Huh, no light this time though..." (unless there is)
<Alcar> You hear a warm, male, friendly voice beside you "Perhaps."
<Gina```> "Is that you, Obi Wan?"
<Alcar> There is a long pause, then "Who?"
<Gina```> "Uhm, nevermind. Bad joke."
<Gina```> "So... am I dead again?"

<Gina```> "I have a question... there's no possible way You could sort of... send me back in time a little? Like, before I was stupid enough to mention Catharine Holliday?"
<Alcar> Voice: "If we made offers like that, Kennedy wouldn't be dead."
<Gina```> "Well you said I was a special case. And how about this, if you do that for me, I'll do something for you, if its within my ability. I'll owe you one. Well, I'll owe you several."
<Alcar> Voice: "This is Death, not a bargaining table."
<Alcar> Voice: "You would make lovely aluminium siding though."
<Gina```> "But it's not Death. You even said that. I'm not dead. So this isn't Death."
<Alcar> Voice: "Surprise."
<Gina```> (( Jesus Christ, work with me here, Alcar. :P ))

<Keith`> get the at i to run a full blow tactical simulation of the bace being under attack
<Alcar> "We're beng attacked by the whole UN army!" "What? We ARE the UN army!"
<Keith`> something like that
<Keith`> "I'm sorry sir but the only target the missle will except is this bace"

<Keith`> where we last left our unsong not so heroic heros was in the back of the local tavern having split up the loot, if you didn't ovusly figur out what your item does, (most of you did) you get shell out 100GP to your local save the starving GM fund to have its magical power reveald to you

<Keith`> your meet by the courtur, the kings right hand man, he leads you threw a door and request that you remove all your weapons and place them on the table
<Keith`> Rahad is declawed (a rather painfull proceadure i might add) (JK)
* Wolfie`` advises neutering :p
<Rahad`> (( you wanna die? :P ))

<Keith`> ok tish, you take 18HP of dammage when the unknown figur who was sitting on your bed finely notices your spell wair off
* Tish` gets up supprised, adn looks at teh guy on her bed
<Keith`> he is standing over you with a sword, is masked and none discript
* Tish` doesn't get up then

* Vincent`-` instructs it to load Gina as the AI
<AlcarGM> *pause* "Loading sentient life forms into AI data base is nto recommended. Consent of life form is needed."
<AlcarGM> System: "It would involve subject undergoing a personality program and being called David."
<Vincent`-`> "Can you copy the subject making the copy the AI?"
<AlcarGM> System: "Recommendation exceeds human memory retention parameters by 450%."
<Vincent`-`> "override the personality changes, the lifeform is to become the AI unchanged"
<AlcarGM> System: "Override Teddy persona as well?"
<Vincent`-`> "Request more information on Teddy"
<AlcarGM> System: "Personality programmed for warmth, compassion. Made to make people be happy."

<Lance```> "I'm reluctant to let her go, simply for her own safety. I'd like her to be somewhere safe until this blows over."
<Keith`-> "And you question my racoon as a body guard?"
<Lance```> "If you're offering your raccoon as a bodyguard, then yes, I do."

* Lance``` jumps up, leaping and diving over desks/people/cameo appearances as he makes straight for the cell area
<AlcarGM> lance runs over a few out of work actors
<Lance```> (("Baliadoc Grassblade, we've been looking for you for a long time. You're wanted for the murders of one Ryu and Lisha, and you're going to go to prison for a long, long time." *how's that for a police station cameo? :)*))

<Alcar> well, she'll definitely come after you. Since you dont beleive what she really is, she's screwed :)
<Baliadoc> that's the plan. i can finally bait her to come after me, at least. my name is going to be in every paper in town, denouncing her very existence. there's pie in her face! haha!
* Baliadoc doesn't wanna die *whimper*

<Lance```> "Alright. Anyway, it was the third one. I think the death of Liz probably scrambled whatever Liz had done to 'make' her. Don't ask me specifics, I'm just guessing here."
<AlcarGM> <Sally> "Yeah. I guess so. And she got killed in the cell .. this is just odd."
<Lance```> "How do you know she died?"
<AlcarGM> (( oops. the GM reverses that ))
<AlcarGM> <Sally> "Yeah. I guess so. At least shes in the cell."
<AlcarGM> sorry :)
<Lance```> ((thank you. I was about to run over to Marie's and fill her full of lead :))

* MechaBlue wonders if Bali is doing a Playgirl shoot
<Lance```> hrm??
<MechaBlue> The nick ;)
<Lance```> rofl
* Lance``` will be appearing in "Sir Lance-a-lot" a fine epic fantasy of lust and sexual discovery

<Keith`> "Look you do your job, I did mine, why don't we not get in each others way?"
<Lance```> "Because I help uphold the law. It's my job to get in other people's way."

<Lance```> "And I'm sure it was very trying on you. But let me say this; the next time you tell a cop he doesn't pay attention to the world around him, think about how hard it is to keep the stupidest and most prolific race in line, and then rethink what you're about to say."
<Lance```> "At least your races live like animals, and don't pretend to be anything more. Thank you for your time."
<Keith`> "You do have a point there, humans for the most part are Ignorant."
<Keith`> "THe ignorant, leading the ignorant, truely is a wonder terra hasn't whiped us off the face of the planet yet"
<Lance```> "Must be why we're the superior race."

* Keith` still thinks the racoon would work
<AlcarGM> yeah, but making someone who cant see the magical world talk to that coon first would be like taking a blind person and their first sight being Janet Reno.
<Keith`> that would drive them right back to being blind
<AlcarGM> hehe. Yeah, prolly ...
<Keith`> but still might work

* Keith` touches lances forhead as if opening an unseen eye
<AlcarGM> Lance feels his mind go nova ... its not a pleasant feeling. Sort of like his brains dribbling out his ears, but they havent, yet.
* Keith` leans against the wall and watches lances reaction
* Lance``` grabs his head, beating it against the wall
<Lance```> "Ooooowww...."
<Keith`> "Easy does it now, no beating in your own skull"
<Lance```> "You gave me a goddamned migraine. I'm not impressed."
<Keith`> "Migraines are easly fixed"
<Lance```> "Yeah, Dr. Dolittle. You don't go handing them out, and they don't happen."

<AlcarGM> basically overload of impressions, migraine
<AlcarGM> you get the impression the brick doesn'tlike being hit and is offended
<AlcarGM> it also wants you to remove that grafitti on the lower right brick
<Lance```> i'm not actually getting this, am I?
<AlcarGM> you did, for a second, before Keith got in the way. It must have been your imagination :)

<Lance```> "Wait, I can talk to animals now too?"
<Keith`> "Perhaps"
<AlcarGM> Keith's shirt: "No." j/k
<Keith`> "I would offer the racoon for some one to talk to, but he currently is wanting to get your eye color changed and then eat them"

<Baliadoc> rofl. one gives another the power to listen to animals whine... grrr
<Alcar> and clothing, and bricks ..
<Alcar> "Lance, why aren't you sitting at your chair?" "It doesn't want me too, Sgt."
<Baliadoc> that's right. i can talk to bloody everything. grrr....
<Alcar> well, within reason. likely only when you're really tired or not trying to. If your pc ignores it long enough, the ability would go away
<Baliadoc> ha! i will defeat it, in the name of good old fashioned stubborness!
* Keith` doughts one can ignore a puppy going "Feed me hug me play with me" or a dog going "walk me!"
<Baliadoc> that's what guns are for, silly Keith :)

<EyeOfNewt> Ya Know what Sux? I was killed by own mate last night.... I was pinned by two Iron goloms, One I damaged horribly with my Flail, My mate goes to attack, His Magical Flail had 6D6 Electrical Damage, The damn thing was Iron.. I was laying On gold And I fried after the second Time he hit.... Now Im makin a new character :(

<Alcar> oh, well, if the pcs leavd theodore behind its a reason to pick him up again :)
<Keith`> but isn't that alittle crule and unushual for the players?
<Alcar> what? having the party's teddybear stuck in hell?
* Keith` was bad and gave alcar some nasty ideas
* Alcar considers that sentance .... you have a point :)
<Keith`> mostly about stones from the planets core but hay

<AlcarGM> The old man leans down slowly, knees cracking like gunshots and shakes the bears hand solemnly. "You lost your kid?"
<Theodore`-`> "Well I.. don't exactly have one. I'm a mendicant here, by the way."
<AlcarGM> The bum continues, to himself "Lost my kids too ..... wife up and ate 'em one day ... said they looked just like taters and we hadn't eaten in a month. Was so mad I upped and ate her." he looks at the bear. "She tasted like mangy chicken."
* Theodore`-` blinks, mouth open in a comical stunned expression

<AlcarGM> He seems to focus on you for a moment,and licks his lips absently. "You heal? Like . .sew people up?"
<Theodore`-`> "Uh um... yes, yes I do." *seems a bit pale now somehow, even though he really couldn't be.*
<AlcarGM> He nods slowly, looking relieved. "Could you sew my stomach up?" plantively
* Theodore`-` looks back at his face questioningly. "What do you mean?"
<AlcarGM> Bum "She keeps trying to get out."
<Theodore`-`> "She..." *shakes his head and dearly hopes he heard that wrong* "Come again?"
<AlcarGM> He looks almost afraid "I dont want to give birth to my wife. Can you help me?"

* Mogu`-`- sleeps on the floor in the corner not wanting to dirty up the cots
*** Quits: Mogu`-`- (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Theodore`-`> (( and peer strikes again... ))
<Flea``> "Wow. When he sleeps, he really sleep."

* Wolfie`` tosses a chair through the window then
<Keith`-> ok you send a chair threw the window, how fair from the window are you going to be standing when you toss it threw
<Wolfie``> about 10'
<Wolfie``> just to make sure its not a trap :)
<Keith`-> you throw a chair threw the window
* Drifter2 pulls her quarterstaff around.
* Wolfie`` hopes he didnt hit anyone then says "hello," casually
<Keith`-> a few minets later a cross bo bolt sails into the room thumping harmlessly into wolfies head (no the wall behind him)

* Wolfie`` looks at Rahad "You go out, try not to get shot and I'll see if i can tell who is shooting at you."

<Montoya```> "Why don't you come along with us, then. I'm not sure how useful that body is to you, but if you'd like, you can share some space in my head."
<AlcarGM> (( Child: "Wow ... " Montoya feels strange as his memories are downloaded into her brain "They DO think about sex alot! j/k ))
<AlcarGM> Girl "Something is wrong with it?"
<Montoya```> "It just looks fairly unuseable. I'd think you'd like to find a better one."
<AlcarGM> (( npc brain destroyed trying to comprehend a few million gigs of male sexual thoughts ... ))

<Baliadoc> Montoya has a girl in his head.
<Baliadoc> literally.
<Caltak> She's gonna redecorate and put in curtains, I just know it.
* Baron_Max imagines catching Montoya tring on pink pyjamas
* Baliadoc will be using a lot of illusions, trust me :)

<Max_Griffon> "some say the self is the greatest thing to fear" Max says softly but looks at Vicki
<Vicky`Hart> how can you fear youself when you don't even know who you are..
<Flea```> "Interesting outlook."

<Theodore`-> "Well at least when we go, we'll eventually get somewhere now."

<AlcarGM> <Flea> looks at everyone else "Well. Shall we?"
<Vicky`Hart> what the hell.. lets open pandora's box
<Mogu`-`> "Yes we should find another way"
* Mogu`-` starts off down the hall not even realize he is on a difrant page then every one else

<Max_Griffon> "If you break it it might kill you. I wanna see if its ok. Its Fae, and your not Fae."
<Vicky`Hart> i need something to pay back mac..
* Max_Griffon sighs. "You dont wanna kill him, do you?"
<Vicky`Hart> how can it kill him.. its just a hollow ball
* Max_Griffon rolls his eyes. "Why dontcha break it on your head and see what it does." He walks offf.
<Flea```> "Ooookay. I'm sensing tension."

<Keith`> Chansler "with the royal family gone i would become the ruler of this country"
<Tish`> "How does that work? I thought you had to have royal blood to be a king."
<AlcarGM> (( wow. your pc really IS ditzy :) ))
<Tish`> <<6 int on a mage>>
<Tish`> <<only wanted to join the thieves guild cause they have the best gossip, and throw the best partys."

<Keith`> the guard you came in with nods and leaves the guard you walk up to asks what can he do for you
<Tish`> "Excuse me, guard, but I have some terrible news, and I'd feel safer if I were shackled before I give it so you don't over react till I get it all out."

<Keith`> its not long befor the top of your dress is off and he is bissying him self in your breasts when the door is openned and 2 guards come in
<Tish`> "Mmmmmmmm"
<Tish`> "What now?"
<Keith`> needless to says the courtur is suprised, Courtur "Get out, go no get out" Guards "Sir your coming with us weather you like it or not"
* Tish` grapples teh chansler already in her embrace.
<Tish`> "Hold me"
<MechaBlue> ((On vhat?))
<Keith`> Courtur "Pah, go on get or i'll have your jobs" at this point the guards start walking acrost the room slowly
<Tish`> "ohh, this could get real interesting. Will you be joining us this evening?"
<Tish`> "Or just bringing the shackles and watching?"

<Montoya```> "I dunno. Maybe a doorbell or something. Can psychics see this barrier better than we can?"
<Montoya```> "Mages, that is?"
<AlcarGM> <Randall> "The psychics were likely watching it. I bet they're confused as to what happened."
<Montoya```> "Good. That's all I need to know."
<AlcarGM> <Randall> "And that .. is that. A psychic universal greeting of a middle finger. And some other ... emotions."
* Montoya``` looks around, getting his barrings as to where Deimos is, and starts writing "Hello boys. Isn't magic a wonderful thing?" and puts a big smiley face on the barrier, waiting about 10 seconds before annihilating it.

<Baliadoc> hmm... Goblins are 1/4 of a hit die... can I play 24 Goblins? :)

* Keith` is thinking of if he ever mannages to finish off his drunken master levels become a ninja (just get drunk in there bar then they can't get rid of me)
<Keith`> Drunken Master Ninja

<Keith`> come on, i can get caltaks PC killed in a bar fight!
* Alcar has to get up for classes :)
<Keith`> oh yah
<Keith`> ok that will shut me up about crying game game like caltak
<Keith`> wait a minet, if his pc died quick enought... JK

<Baliadoc> WhiteWolf, d20 style ;)
<Baliadoc> Feat: Being grim and dark. All characters get this at first level, except for a good chunk of Malkavians, and people who don't go out at night
<Baliadoc> Feat: Being dead. Yes, we can't believe we have to make this a feat either.

<Baliadoc> btw Alcar, for all the 2 seconds of gameplay it's gonna last me, i was thinking that my ship is a small freighter.
<Alcar> neat way to put it :)
<Baliadoc> well, i can only assume that my entrance scene is going to be my ship going down in a ball of flame :)
<Alcar> How do you want to crash? A) shot down by a Star Destroyer B) Try and land and get broadsided by a dragon or c) Both
<Baliadoc> sooo many choices :)

<Alcar> ooh! I can replace the jawa things with kender!
<Alcar> a swarm of kender come and your ship vanishes so quickly you suspect they used the Force
* Baliadoc shoots you with his blaster? :)

<MarcFenAway> An Illusionist Running a Brothel... no need to higher people
<Sintaqx> actually, Marc, no need to hire any beautiful people...

<MarcFenAway> Damn, My Familiar has better stats then some of the Regular Character I have made...

<Rene`-> how much is that bill [bar tab] anyway?
<AlcarDM> 384 gold.
<Rene`-> holy...
<AlcarDM> not including damage to properties and persons
<Rene`-> ok, that's nuts :)

<Maranda`-`> the biggest advantage to drunken master is it gives a monk baced pc something to do with all the gold they inevtably end up with

* Maranda`-` gets up close to mercer and sticks her tounge in his ear
* Mercer`` is really trying to do a good job of keeping you from doing that, and probably succeeding :)
<Maranda`-`> i don't know doc, can you move faster then some one that can stager at 50 for a movement rate?

<Mercer``> "Sorry we're late. Your friend here has had much too much to drink."
* Maranda`-` is all over mercer like stink on shit once he comes to a stop

<Rene`-> "Well no, I'm looking for answers. The questions are just an annoying thing I have to get in order to find the answers."

<Rene`-> "Whoever said all demons are evil?" *shrugs*
<Telakiran> "anything can be immitated.. even goodness, but i will take your word that he is not evil"
<durgan> "Hmm, just about all of the elves I've talked to for starters."
<SeNToN> eyes rene suspecially
<Rene`-> "Well I'm just saying you can't judge people by what they are. Except maybe for Kender."

<Obama> whats a jedis speed with master speed?
<Baliadoc> it's a Jedi power. at Master level, i can run 900 ft/round :)
<Obama> damn i can almost keep up with that
<Obama> well bet i can outdistance you over a 2 hr period =)
<Baliadoc> probably. i couldn't do it for 2 hours
<Baliadoc> the downside is that in 2 hours i'd have taken 12000 damage :)
<Baliadoc> if i ran all the time :)
<Obama> hehe ok you win the race, but you end up dieing from running it =P
<Baliadoc> not only dying, i'd erradicate myself ;)
<Baliadoc> thats like killing the Terrasque like 20 times over or somethin' ;)

<PsychoSanity> you know, it would be cool to have boots w/ expedious retreat and continual flame cast on them. it would look like ur running so fast ur boots are on fire lol =-)
<PsychoSanity> especially as a monk moving at 90ft per round * 2 = 180 lol

<Alcar> And most players probablydont want to play d&d pcs when they're facing the Empire from Star Wars as the campaign enemy :)
<aslhk> lol I do! *grin* didn't you see the ewoks? they took those people out, man! the empire's not so tough!
<EyeOfNewt> Heheh Im on a heavy war horse, (Human Cleric) Plate Armor, Tower Shield, Heavy mace with 6D6 Elec damage, and a Blow gun with a selection of the deadliest poisons, BRING your star Wars Peeps on

<`Chewvivo> (Doesn't this thing have tractor beams? You think they'd fish out an unexpected lifepod launch just on principle. :P )
<gears> (chew: that's meta game thinking)
<`Chewvivo> (Hrm?)
<gears> (the whole game world could explode for you thinking things like that! it's like trying to make sense out of a danni divito film)

<FuzzyLogic> ((powered by SATAN!))
<`Chewvivo> (Soulless Automatons Temporarily Achieving Negation? You mean they're in it too?)
<`Chewvivo> (Those self-destructive bastards! I knew they were up to no good!)
<Terran`> (oh dear jeesus)

* gears starts pushing harder... /harder/.... HARDER untill the barnacles come off, then moans and lights a cigarette
<`Chewvivo> (In space? I'd pay to see THAT.)

<FuzzyLogic> t: a turbolaser shot comes across your bow.
<FuzzyLogic> t: your previous comments, with your mayday call seems to have distressed the passengers somewhat.
<Yeelah> (stupid bastards! that big mon calamari ship is going to make toast out this scrap heap and i'm on board it)
<`Chewvivo> ("This would be a good time to remind you all of the waivers of liability you signed before taking this tour.")
<gears> ("fire a warning shot across her nose" *blam blam* "i said across her nose, not up it!")
* Terran` looks at the mon cali- "Do you guys have any weapons aboard this ship?"
<`Chewvivo> (It's a tour ship, man. When's the last double-decker you saw with a machinegun?)

* Keith`- wonders if he could tecnicly turn people/things into chicken eggs...

<Caltak> on the downside I only get to add 3 class levels to my Minotaur. On the upside, it's a minotaur :)

<Caltak> just saying "most elven love-making doesn't involve female elves" basically says it all

<Baliadoc> 24 intelligence is our friend.
<Randall> 24?!
<Baliadoc> headbands of intellect are also our friend. ;)

* Tontaga looks at Cole's wings curiously, and pokes them. "Real?"
<CoLe_Quazda> sayz "yes Tontaga they are real and please don;t poke them"
<Koby`> (( looks awed Cole knows Tontaga's name since he was never told it :) ))
<Marcus_Fenway> (¯( Tontaga was not Originally part of the group you where suppost to meet but for the nature of Continuity he used a Spell to read Tontaga's thoughts and thats the only useful peice of information he got )¯)
<Tontaga> (( I have thoughts?! ))
<Tontaga> (( wow ))

* Koby` looks at Tagashi, then says in draconic "You are evil." simply to Cole.
<Tagashi-2> (in giant) "i agree with koby"
<Tagashi-2> ((oops miss read that))
<Koby`> (( Good agreement :) ))
<Tagashi-2> (in giant) "so what do we do with him?"
<Natalia``> Demonic: "Anyone else speak this one? Might as well find out now."
<Tagashi-2> "Mabe"

<Tontaga> gawd, all the languages and telepathy..
<Tontaga> we need some killing.
<Hart``> sorry Ton, i cast Tongues, just to be a jackass :)
<aslhk> that's awesome heheh
<Caltak> evil bastard ;P

<Obama> if your evil your going to be having some problems inside our current anti-evil area
<Baliadoc> I think this anti-evil area and i are going to have to have a little talk.

<durgan`> "well, if they aren't stars, what are they?"
<Mercer``> "Imperial starships."
<durgan`> "You just said they weren't stars, and now they're not only stars, but ships as well? You must be out of your mind."
<Mercer``> "Must I? I did come from the stars myself."
<durgan`> "That may be, but the fact of the matter is, people that directly contradict themselves in an attempt to show their knowledge are either stupid or crazy."
<durgan`> "I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt =P"
<Mercer``> "I'm not quite sure how i've contradicted myself."
<durgan`> "Well, you said they weren't stars. Then you said they were not only stars, but star ships, as if people fly around in these stars. Not only is that a contradiction, it's quite odd."
<Mercer``> "Starships are vehicles used to travel between stars."
<durgan`> "Oh."
<durgan`> "I think it's a hoax!"

* Mercer`` scratch that, i look him over with my sensor instead, to see if he's still alive :)
<Mercer``> "He's fine."
<Rene`-> "Oh. Could've fooled me."
<durgan`> "Hah! If you call being blown up fine, then I'm feeling fine as well."
<Mercer``> "He survived. Is that better?"
<durgan`> "Yeah, I don't feel so well either. It's a side affect of being shot, apparently."
<durgan`> "I believe you about those starships, by the way Mercer``"
<Mercer``> "I'm glad you've come around."
<Mercer``> "And to think you've only seen three."

<Rene`-> "Well the problem is I don't really know the questions either. I need to know why I was brought back and what I'm supposed to do."
<Mors`^> "Well, I don't think sucking people dry is one of the reasons... but that's my opinion.."
<Rene`-> "I don't do that anyway."
<Mors`^> "Oh, you stopped that bad habbit?"
<Rene`-> "No. I only did that once. I'm more careful about it normally."

<aslhk> and the eldritch laughter shook the pcs terribly and they all wanted to go home except the tie fighters are going to blow their homes up! DAMN THE ELDRITCH LAUGHTER!

* Alcar might be ending a campaign soon, so debating how to do it best :)
<Marcus_Fenway> 'Slaughter House V'
<Marcus_Fenway> Just a Suggestion

<Marcus_Fenway> Sin's Character Died in Session 1, but I couldn't get him to quit the game so he is still playing the same character

<hAd_MattEr> are there any more openings?
<Marcus_Fenway> There are always Openings... simply because Natalia, and Koby are always hungery
<Sintaqx> Marcus gets a kick out of killing players :)
<Marcus_Fenway> Unfortunetly Koby eats most of them before I get a chance to kill them :(

<Marcus_Fenway> Natalia: A Sleepwalking Vampire with a fetish for midnight snacks
<Marcus_Fenway> Koby: Known through out the world as Koby the Chicken Slayer
<Sintaqx> Natalia: Starving for affection.

<Tontaga> someone wanted me to run a game not too long ago
<Tontaga> I said ok. Game started out that they were in a tavern, and its hit by a giant meteor. some crazy roll for damage, reflex save for half.
<Tontaga> and they actually wanted to roll reflex saves...

<CoLE_QuaZDA> man i wish i now had a holy, keen mercurial greatsword
<Koby`> to floss your teeth?
<Dungeon_Master_M> Its a Target, Its a Peice of Meat, No Its Stupid Goblin!
<Tontaga> Stupid Goblin... isnt that a bit redundant? :)

<Baliadoc> fallen jedi are just better. light-siders with emotion are fun

* Sintaqx believes that raising a group of zombies from a pivate crypt and sending them out to murder their living relatives would be considered eveil.. unless, maybe, if it was only done for fun

<Warner> the munsters were undead and they were no more evil then the simpsons :)

<durgan> "Fine, just ignore a good deal. Some day in the future you will look back to this moment and think 'damn! I wish I'd bought that bow. My whole life would've been different.' Do you really want to do yourself the injustice of constantly looking back and questioning how your life could've gone if you'd just taken a chance and sprung on a nice bow?"
<Mors`^> "No."

<Rene`-> man I really do need a Bag of Holding :P
<Rene`-> then I can be the weird lady who disappears into a bag during the day :P
<AlcarDM> And I can play the NPC who picks up that bag and tosses it into her bag of holding! Yay!
<AlcarDM> This will be soo much fun :p

* Maranda``-` smiles at mercer and grabs his hand and starts leading him off to the nearst bushes "I hope its more then that" with a bing grin
* Mercer``` isn't moving.
* Maranda``-` keeps tugging on mercers arm trying to get him to fallow while batting her eyes at him
<Mercer```> "If that's all you want, I've turned down that offer from you at least twice now."
<Maranda``-`> "Awwwh you just don't know what your missing"
* Maranda``-` goes back to pressing her self against mercer
<Mercer```> "I know exactly what I'm missing. You should spend the night with a Wookie."

<Mercer```> necessary acts are sometimes a lot more painful than diplomats make them out to be. I don't think most diplomats have to deal with wookies though.

<durgan> Mors`^: "The dumbest members of any military force are called grunts, mostly due to their vocabulary limits. I don't know about these sith things."

<Mercer```> "In some ways, I'm glad to be rid of my emotions."
<durgan> "That would be difficult."
<durgan> "Being glad with no emotions, I mean."
<Mercer```> "Touche."

<Maranda``-`> at this rate i'll be sober in less then a week and then the shit will realy hit the fan

<AlcarDM> You have reached the foothills of the mountains, which in another place would have been mountains in their own right. The air is surprisingly warm and you find some caves with ease. They are currently empty.
* Maranda``-` starts singing to her self off key and out of tune badly
<AlcarDM> The mountains rumble ominously at the loud song, perhaps warning of an avalanche, or critiquing her singing. Or both.
* Maranda``-` yells back at the mountains as she gets up and stagers up the mountain to the cave
<Maranda``-`> "AW WHO ASKED YOU ANY WWAY!"
* Maranda``-` sings to her echo in the cave for a while

<AlcarDM> Rene remains sleeping pleasantly in her coffin.
<AlcarDM> Mors remains sleeping on top of that
<AlcarDM> The DM doesn't draw any freudian ananologies from it.
<AlcarDM> Yet.
<Maranda``-`> (LOL)
<durgan> ((we are =P))

<durgan> "Maranda, maybe you should go keep mercer company. I'm sure he's getting jealous."
<Maranda``-`> "Huh, who wants fussy briches"

<aslhk> I think maranda is the most normal of all of our characters =P
<aslhk> she just hits on guys
<Obama> hehe from what ive seen she is the most normal =)

<Obama> we have what, 2 vampires, a centar, a jedi, a elf
<Obama> um who am i missing...
<aslhk> we've got a guy that apparently prefers talking to rocks, a jedi
<aslhk> me
<Obama> asl whats your character?
<aslhk> he's a rock in disguise :)
<Obama> asl your a rock right now?
<aslhk> i'm a storm trooper currently

* Obama misses joe =)
<Obama> poor poor joe.. id have to give him most horrible death award to date...
<Obama> ive seen people die to dragons, stab wounds, poision, and magic.. but never to a BED

* Caltak would make an Ewok if I played :P
<Baliadoc> no.
<Baliadoc> your Ewok will be used in a test to simulate falling into a core reactor to novices :)

<StarShade> Yes sirree, Britney Spears is a 5th Level Drow Bard whose been polymorphed into a human...
<StarShade> We must use Dispel Magic on the polymorphing for her true form to be revealed!
<StarShade> Then her CD sales will go down!

* StevenR ponders the possiblity of Britney Spears as a Drow.
<StevenR> Impossible
<StarShade> You kiddin me? She's probably one of the spellcasters with some weird polymorph on her...
<StevenR> I'm thinking Mind Flayer
<StarShade> I don't know about that...
<StarShade> She looks more mind-flayed than flayer.

<Tish`> "Dammit, we need a cook. Nice to meet you anyways, I'm Troub...er, I mean Tish."

<Chaos`^> Ok.. the tavern people look at Garund and go balistic, seeing as how he's in the way to the door, they go into the kitchen screaming "A monster! Get it away!" The tavern is empty except for a lone man in a robe covering most of his face and body, the bartender is gone also.
* Lassie` sighs and whines ("Is this going to be like that time you tried to eat that plate of pasta with that poor pure bred dog?")
* Garund growls back ("Its not like im going to eat them, its against the laws i follow")
* Lassie` sighs and whines ("Thats not what the lady dog said when you told her what you thought the meatballs were.")

<Tech-Sensei> i also realized that whores in our town probaly won't be good
<Tech-Sensei> cause the patron god at that altar is god of death and disease
<Tech-Sensei> would you take a whore in a town protected by god of death and disease?

<Alcar> The assasins should add some fun
<Baliadoc> assassins add flavor to anything ;)
<Baliadoc> okay, not usually, but that's just because poison is usually tasteles..

<Tech-Sensei> I truly enjoy role playing. I've actually managed to manipulate the GM in character negotiations to give more than he planned.
<Tech-Sensei> like a knight says "This castle is important for our attempted defense of this reigion..." ::i interupt:: "You mean your future SUCCESSFUL defense of this region"
<Tech-Sensei> diplomacy is nothing more than knowing whose ass to have your nose in at what time

<Baliadoc> and natalia has to have some ability that deals with making the sport of golf bend to her will.
<Baliadoc> she's like the swiss army knife of characters
<Marcus_Fenway> Koby can shoot the ball onto the green in 1 shot no matter the distance... but it takes him at least 3 more shots to get it in

<Marcus_Fenway> I have 7 Players... Cole, Elandra, Hart, Koby, Lia, Natalia, Tagashi, and Tontaga... Elandra, and Hart are at risk of being killed by Cole and Tagashi. While Cole and Tagashi are at risk of being killed by Natalia, who commands Koby's Loyalty who in turn guides Tontaga's Actions...
<Marcus_Fenway> this could be a messy game
<Marcus_Fenway> Lia is a friend of Koby and NAtalia (by my Instuctions) so she is safe for now...
<Alcar> until she informs us she had married a charming man named Nimih who is coming into town for their wedding and, wow, we just left the temple they are getting married at

<Baliadoc> i'm not too worried about being killed by simple paladins and clerics.
<Alcar> its the not so simple ones you're worried about? :)
<Baliadoc> yeah, but there aren't many of them. Paladins and clerics really don't have much in the way of inventiveness.
<aslhk> i'd be worried about simple paladins and clerics
<Baliadoc> "I either A) Follow my god, no matter what, or B) Have turned from my God, and accepted the power of a darker, eviler God. In the event of this, see (A), but substitute the new god with the old."

<aslhk> paladins are just scary heh
<aslhk> they're church-sanctioned psychopaths

*** Sintaqx Quit (Quit: And then, having laid waste to the town, the young kobald sorcerer decided to take a nap.)

<Gabriel```> i've figured out Gabriels' reasoning for not just going straight after his sister: he's never met so many amusing adventurers in one place :)

* Gabriel``` shrugs to himself and heads inside after a while, retiring for the night, after checking his stuff for signs of disturbance, his room for assassins, the roof and window area outside his room for more assassins, and the other two floors besides for... yeah, assassins
<Zacharel> (( what about under your pillow? ))
<Gabriel```> ((that'll come when i get ready to get into bed. No need to have to check the same place twice))
<Zacharel> (( ah I see. Be careful, those Tooth Fairy Assassins are dangerous. ))
<Gabriel```> ((that's why all my teeth are fake ;))

<Ike> Someone once asked me what a bard was.. I told them it was a fighter/rogue/magician/musician all wrapped up into one. I think I'll change that definition to just "dude that plays music" from now on.

<Caltak> aslhk: if I was a gungan i'd spend the whole game self-mutilating myself

<Alcar> Caltak - our pcs are also going to be ni a high tech enviroment tho.....
<Alcar> ewoks and piloting and fixing stuff don't go well :)
<Caltak> Alcar: so? who says I have to know diddly shit about tech? I can be the comic relief :)
<Alcar> Ewok: *pokes door with spear. It opens* "Praise the forest!"
<Alcar> be a wookie then :p
<Bethor> Or a jawa.
<Caltak> ewww no
<Alcar> wookie fixes compicated tech: *sound of something getting thrown through the wall*
<Bethor> I made a Jedi Jawa once just to mess with the pcs.

<Bethor> That was the most disatrous game I ever ran. PC's get stopped by an Imperial Customs Checkpoint. They have nothing illeagle on the ship, yet they decide to run from the imps anyway!

<Caltak> PCs meet a Dark Jedi Master Ewok... :)
<Alcar> Caltak - lightsaber'd be a little small. "The dark jedi swings, misses, then lets out an unholy yowl. You think he's summoned the Force, then realise he lit his fur on fire."
<Caltak> Alcar: well maybe just a bit. then again its all in what you get used to using and all

<Keith`> yah i was looking at it in a wizards of the cost here last week
<Keith`> its like 35
<Caltak> Wizards of the Cost... yeah that sounds about right Keith` hehehe
<Keith`> caltak i looked at the price off the back of the book
* Caltak was referring to the spelling of Coast as Cost :)

<Caltak> YOda only has 19 Wisdom?! :P
<Alcar> Caltak - it would have been higher if he could speak right.
<Alcar> but no one understood him so its just 19

<Caltak> Notable Intellignece scores: Jar Jar Binks.... 2 :)
<Thundor> its that high?!?!
<Caltak> they SO should have put that :)

<Sintaqx> not only is Jar Jar's Int 2, his wisdom approaches 0.
<Caltak> Sintaqx: actually according to the book his wis is 9...
* Sintaqx is shocked
<Caltak> I was too Sin

<Caltak> Throw Lightsabre? neat, they thought of that :)
<Keith`> well at least they thought of it
* Sintaqx gets the feat "Throw Up"
* Caltak wants to make a Wookiee proficient in Ewok Tossing someday :)

* Sintaqx pits Star Trek d20 vs Star Wars d20
* Sintaqx thinks it would be fun
<Sintaqx> Stormtroopers can't hit hte broad side of a planet, ST Security teams die on every away mission
<Sintaqx> Need to find that picture again... Had the Enterprise E being attacked by Tie Fighters while it attacked a star destroyer

* Sintaqx combines Star Wars, Star Trek, The Event Horizon, The Last Star Fighter, The 5th Element, and Planet of the Apes into a game....
<Sintaqx> wait.. that's spaceballs
<Dalener> what about 'planet of the aroused apes?'

<Dalener> a paladin with no god is a fighter without the feats :D

<Telakiran> my character is looking for clues to the location of arkene... thats why hes going north =)
<Mors`^> Arkene? I can tell you where she is... But you'll have to kill me first ;)

* Mors`^ makes sure Maranda is awakened to walk herself before they all get going..
<Rene`-> (( no, dont! ))

* Rene`- nods to durgan and pulls the trooper over to her and bites his neck
<AlcarDM> Trooper1 screams rather loudly "Noooooo......!"
* Rene`- covers the trooper's mouth with a hand
<Mors`^> "Ohh.. why Rene?"
* Rene`- stops after a bit and lets go of the trooper, who's still alive. She wipes her mouth, and looks at Mors`^. "Hmm?"
<Mors`^> "Why did you bite his neck?"
* Rene`- looks at the trooper, than back at Mors`^. "It was convenient?"

<Mors`^> "Please, not too many alien deaths on this planet.. it screws up the system.."
<AlcarDM> <Telakiran> "System?"
<Mors`^> "Yes, the system of the souls that die.. They have to make exchanges and such with the other worlds.."
<AlcarDM> <Telakiran> stares are mors for a long moment. "Pardon?" rather incredeously

<Rene`-> (( this never wouldna happened if it was a Star Trek cross-over :P ))
<AlcarDM> (( if this was a st crossover, the npcs would have to die because they'd be wearing red ))
* Rene`- (( would like to see a Vulcan meet Elves :) ))
<Mors`^> (( That is not logical... "Let's have sex NOW!" "I can only reproduce every 7 years" "NOW NOW NOW!"
<Rene`-> (( tries a mind meld and goes crazy :) ))

* durgan quaffs a vial and turns into a rather average looking gnome.
<durgan> "They look like this."
<Mercer```> "How do you do that? What's in those bottles?"
<durgan> "I'm not sure, my father gave me the vials--they aren't magic or anything, and any liquid inside them allows me to change."
* durgan is lying by the way =P
<Sparkie> durgan 1d20+17: 30 bluff
<durgan> but it's unlikely you'd know that, apparently
<Mercer```> that's alright. I'm bullshitting knowledge about how energy packs are made too :)

* Mors`^ walks over to the group
<Mors`^> "Everyone, I'd like to introduce to you my wife..."
<Mercer```> "My, even your mating rituals are impatient."
<Rene`-> "Oh? Isn't that a bit sudden?"
<durgan> "I was about to say the same thing."
<Rene`-> "Well, I dont buy it." (( :P ))
<Mors`^> "She has been my wife for a while."
<durgan> "Interesting time sense you must have."

<durgan> lol, okay, let's see, npc meetings so far: we scared the hell out of a rock, we argued with a guy with a dog's head, and mors married a prisoner he'd met for no less than five minutes =P
<durgan> *grin*
<durgan> oh
<durgan> I forgot to mention that we almost killed her
<durgan> before they determined the value of a good marriage, I guess

<aslhk> hmm, I dunno how to keep the kender away from the speeder though =P
<Alcar> invent pod races :p
* Alcar would have a kender named Anakin invented so fast you wouldn't know what hit you :)
<aslhk> I wonder if they make kender repellant =P
<aslhk> inventing that would make me a rich man indeed

<aslhk> *chuckle* dunno what to do about our other "hostage" either
<aslhk> I don't think it would look very well for us to leave some guy tied up in our rooms
<Alcar> but, yeah, might not look the best w/ this party. Unless Maranda is the one who tied him up
<Alcar> You could give him to her like a sacrificial lamb :)
<aslhk> marry him off too!
<aslhk> that would strike fear into the hearts of the storm troopers =P
<aslhk> "Do not get captured by the locals! They marry you!"

<Caltak> oh god now I want to make a droid who used to be a Dicebot :)
<Caltak> Droid: "I'm telling you, we are sentient beings too!" Human: "Oh yeah? 2d6." Droid: "11 -- Hey! Don't do that!"

<lornx> "I'm lornx, by the way. See ya later."
* Jerome` waves bye to lornx "Thank you again."
* lornx calls "No problem, it's always nice to meet a human that appreciates the finer points of poo flinging."

<Alcar> Caltak get a sword.
<Chaos`^> wonder what it is...
* Alcar plans to have fun with this sword :)
<Alcar> its intelligent.
<Caltak> oh dear
<Caltak> that's never good
<Chaos`^> maybe not for the character ;)

<PsychoSanity> CoSMiC_CaSTaWaY: good job on showing up on time like you said you would. You were almost on time, except you didnt come.

* Dalener can't wait for the D&D sequel. 'D&D:We were just kidding!'

<Alcar> The improptu village beside the smoking reamins of Moran's border city consists mostly of a small village surrounded by lots of shacks, buildings and debris that is currently being used as buildings. Most of the people look stunned or confused, having no idea what in the world flew out of the cky at the cities. The word "demon" is being used a lot.
* Mors`^ looks around and looks at the people
<Mors`^> "Wow... What happened here?
<Alcar> <Mari> "The Empire, of course. Testing the locals."
<Mors`^> "I know that! It was a retoricle question."
<Alcar> <Mari> looks really puzzled for a moment then says "Then why did you ask it?"
<Mors`^> "I was talking out loud.."

<Chaos`^> I find it odd that I am lvl 8 and I have not 1 magic item.. and only 5 gold... =p

<Red_Death`> "That it does, but not much can be done now"
<norac> "You're right. He's probably not that bad a guy. Hey! I'll even immortalize him in song!"
<Chaos`^> (( you don't even know his name... ))
<norac> ((but I will! oh, I will! muahahahaahah! and such!)

<Ashi> Sword: "I'll have you know King Arther himself wielded me as Excaliber!"
<Zacharel> "Who?"
<Ashi> Sword: "The king of the Britans! Oh .. right ... wrong world. Well, I was famous then! And can be again!"
<Zacharel> "Well I'm not saying you can't. Don;t be so defensive. You're not a shield, after all."

<Zacharel> I made a funny ;P
<Ashi> the sword doesn't notice puns :)
<Ashi> Its too dull to
<aslhk> maybe he should sharpen it? =P
<Zacharel> with acid? :)
<aslhk> maybe you shouldn't make it mad =P
<aslhk> it can do anything a sword can do, and a sword could stab you in the eye! =P
<aslhk> repeatedly!
<Zacharel> My Kingdom for a Rust Monster!

<Zacharel> now he has a girlfriend! j/k :P
<Ashi> you can get married
<Zacharel> ugh
<Zacharel> I think we'll "just be friends" :P
<Ashi> The sword has other plans :)
<Zacharel> I figured :P
<Zacharel> Half-celestial who's goddess mother raped his celestial father, whos girlfriend is really a magical sword... this PC is becoming really interesting :P
<Ashi> Thats one word for it ;)

<Ashi> Sword: "Oh, you want the fire now? Right this moment?"
<Zacharel> "Sure."
<Ashi> Sword: "Well, I'll need to warm up a bit first. And its not summer anymore, so there is that. And the age of fire has passed ..... the paperwork is bad, too. How about next tuesday?"
<Zacharel> "In that case, nevermind."
<Ashi> Sword: "Monday?" hopefully
<Zacharel> "No, that's ok, I don't really need it."
<Ashi> Sword: "But its GOOD fire! The wholesome kind! Not the recyled, boring stuff! REAL fire! A mans fire! A fire's fire!"
<Zacharel> (( A sword after my own heart. Procrastinator :) ))

* Ashi swings at the door. There is a cracking sound as cold flares from the blade and up, comvering the bottom quarter of the large stone doors. "Wow."
* Ashi swings again and the frost shatters, taking away a very small amount of stone
<Ashi> "This is ridiculous. Surely this city has secret doors?"
<Gabriel```> "If this city is empty, I'm claiming for myself and then burning it to the ground."
<Zacharel> "We need an elf."
<Ashi> "We want to meet the orcs, not have sex with them Zacharel."
* Zacharel grins "Aren;t they good at finding secret doors and such?"
<Ashi> "They are? Oh." She blushes.

<Suzuhara_Misaki> <Cherry> *eheheh* Reminds me of the one time we faced off with a rampaging fang dragon in the streets of Procampur... granted my lady Mystra was nae too pleased with what I had done afterwards, but given the circumstances, I think dropping a celestial orca on a dragon in flight was all that stood between us and the death of thousands of innocents.

<Baliadoc> Yoda is Kermit in about 900 years. that would make him frog.

<Baliadoc> anyway, little known fact. Not only is Kermit Yoda and Piggy Jabba, but Fozzie is Chewwie and Gonzo is the Twi'Lek that works for Jabba, with lots of makeup and his nose up and behind him, after Piggy beat him one too many times.
<Caltak> this is getting to be too much :)
<Baliadoc> also, Rizzo spent his twilight years as about thirteen of the Ewoks. He did numerous bit parts since each one only got him about a 100 bucks.
<Caltak> oh oh who is Animal? :)
<Ike> The Rancor?
<Ike> On steroids.
<Alcar> George lucas
<Alcar> Wanting more money :)

<Ike> Yeah. MArk Hammil is the biggest Star Wars fan there is.
<Ike> And if anyone should be ashamed of being in that movie it should be him. Afterall, he hit on his sister.
<Caltak> nah, no one should be ashamed of that. Except Lucas. and not even him :)

<Alcar> Lance awakens the next morning feeling refreshed and actually alert for the first time in days
<Alcar> You eat, read the paper. (Which mentions nothing new, of course)
* Lance``` gets up, enjoying the feeling of having sentient thought again, and cooks himself a healthy meal, and reads the newspaper. unfortunately, the DM already covered that :)

<Lance```> i wonder why people don't get that those characters are meant for government type games?
<Lance```> or anti-government, as the case may be.
<Alcar> No idea.
* Alcar said the game was going to be a bit more low key
<Lance```> "Okay, you have some free time. What do you do?" "I get my stuff and go out to a bar." "You get your stuff? All your stuff?" "Yeah." "You're arrested 5 minutes later for illegal possession of heavy weaponry."
<Lance```> "You attack? You really attack? Okay. I won't bother playing out the fight. You hole up somewhere nearby, and after 5 days of heavy fighting, numerous innocents being killed, as well as honest, good soldiers, you're finally killed."

* Alcar had one pc go insane as a result of killing a pregnant orc once. The feotus (actually a shapechanging npc) followed him around and drove him insane
<London_Intellectual> alc: Thats brilliant!
<ShadowDrakken> that's sick
<ShadowDrakken> effective maybe, but YUCK!

* Sintaqx had a great answer for one of his fighters when asked what he did
<Sintaqx> "I stick sharp pointy pieces of metal into other people."

<Rene`-> She can start an orgy, that'll distract them.
<Maranda`-`> thats what she did
<Rene`-> oh I see
<Maranda`-`> just came back to get more fleash

<Baliadoc> gnomes were made to be broken.

* Keith` notes the less sex feline got the more people she eat
<Alcar> uh. ok. and?
<Keith`> just something i noticed

<Ah`m> Rei Jr.? Oh gods.
<Wolfie``> Faline and Rei had a kid, after all. Also stuck in were. Humans are a fairy tale to him.
<Ah`m> is that keith, or cal?
<Wolfie``> 10 years old.
<Wolfie``> Cal.
<Ah`m> sigh. 10 years old. even the courts'll justify his killings this time.

<Wolfie``> (( "Quick! How many meals do you think the Tarrasque would do us for?" ))
* Rahad`- (( *counts on his fingers* ))
<Gunter_> (( MAke for us or make of us? ))
<Rahad`-> (( damn, I need a calculator ))

<Gunter_> "You want more than being a cheap whore who does what a dirty old man asks. I want more than being a cheap whore who does what some officer asks."
<Ah`m> "Good to hear."
<Tish`> "cept you would be the officer doing the telling."
<Gunter_> "No matter how high you rise, there is always someone above you. And each step up has you doing worse than the step before."

<Gunter_> "What is your heart's fondest desire?"
<Tish`> "I want the best closet ever."
<Gunter_> "What would you do to get it?"
* Rahad`- shakes his head and mutters "women" under his breathe :)
<Tish`> "pretty much anything."
<Gunter_> "Would you stirke down a defenseless woman in front of her children?"
<Gunter_> "Cleaving her nearly in half?"
<Gunter_> "Then stabbing her children to death?"
<Tish`> "What did she do to deserve it?"

<Drifter2> (( Why did the cat cross the road? Cause he darn well wanted to, and being the Emperor of all he surveys, he did. ))

<Kajour> ok you track it ealsy enought for about 100 years still nothing want to go further?
<Rahad`-> sure, why not? :)
<Drifter2> (( Years???? ))
<Rahad`-> he means yards

<CoSMiC_CaSTaWaY> i may need so assistance i have never played any modern eath type stuff so i don;t know what the difference is really between it and the normal D&D i been playing
<Alcar> you can buy Coke :)

<Jeramias> Considering that much of this game takes place in Canada, it seems that requiring knowledge of languages is unfair... Think of how many the average PC would need to know: English, Canadian English, Canadian French, Canadian Gibberish, Ontarion, etc... Not to mention conversion rates! You are, with out a doubt, one of the most evil DMs I've ever encountered!
<AlcarDM> this one is in the us :p
<Jeramias> Oh
<Jeramias> Then you've gotta know English, Ebonics, Southern, Utahn, Pop Slang...
<Jeramias> EVIL!

<AlcarDM> Officer: "I .. see. Does your mother .. hit you?"
<Rei_Jr> "Huh? *surprised* No."
<AlcarDM> He takes a nervous breath "Do you have brothers and sisters and did she devour them at birth?"
* Rei_Jr is really shocked. "w-what??"
<AlcarDM> Officer: "She didn't?"
<Rei_Jr> "No!"

<Jeramias> You're about the worst conversationalist when you're DMing a game. Makes me want to join just so that I could get more than an occasional "heh" from you ;) Perhaps I should just let you do your job rather than bugging you. Nah.

* ArTiMus reaches into his coat and takes out his hidden automatic rilfe
<Alexander_``> (( lol ))
<Alexander_``> (( i think one of us would prolly notice a 'hidden' assault rifle ;b ))

<Alexander_``> "It always pays to be prepared."
<Rei_Jr> (( except when it costs you money. ))

<MattJohnson> "I don't suppose you have anything I could use?"
* ArTiMus puts the 4 regular clips and 1 silver clip in the coat pockets
<MattJohnson> "Is that a no?"
<Rei_Jr> (( kill a gun :) then you'll have a ghost gun :P ))
<MattJohnson> ((I have a ghost gun :) I want ghost ammo =P dang it!))
<Rei_Jr> (( kill some bullets then :) ))

* Alcar also needs a counter to artimus's annoying use of gaseous form whenever trouble springs up ....
<Alcar> The master vamp of the city might just turn him over to the police if something else happens.
<Caltak> Alcar: vacuum cleaner
<Alcar> most police officers don't carry those :p
<Caltak> or a big fan :)
<Caltak> they should :)
<Alcar> As you turn into mist, the rookie pulls out a small dust buster ....
<Caltak> OOOH! I know! Air Fresheners! :P "AHHH! IT BURNS!!!"
<Caltak> Glade Plug-Ins? OH SHIT!
<Caltak> Those air filters that filter out smoke from cigarettes will soon be marked with "Also effective against vampires in mist form" :)

<|337C4Bb4g3> i was gonna play a rogue/sorc
<|337C4Bb4g3> but i realized that he would suck so bad by level 20
<Alcar> dont worry. No character ever survives to level 20 :p
<Alcar> hmm..
* Alcar cancels the motivational speaker carreer idea...
<|337C4Bb4g3> evil dms aren't allowed to be motivational... well, they are, but not like that

* Baliadoc really worries when Faline suggests the good cop bad cop idea. Does that mean she eats with silverware or doesn't?

<|337C4Bb4g3> the last 2 characters i played were fucking idiots
<|337C4Bb4g3> one was a paladin
<|337C4Bb4g3> who loved to rush into combat in a near-suicidal manner
<|337C4Bb4g3> and the other was a samurai dude
<|337C4Bb4g3> who took on about 40 goblins with daggers because they weren't worthy of his swords
<|337C4Bb4g3> when he first got to the 'western' world
<|337C4Bb4g3> he charged a group of about 20 archers
<|337C4Bb4g3> because they're not supposed to fire until you can close and engage in honorable combat!
<|337C4Bb4g3> he was even more suicidal than the paladin

<|337C4Bb4g3> that char was fun to RP
<|337C4Bb4g3> but damn
<|337C4Bb4g3> when 20 undead orcs are dropping boulders on you
<|337C4Bb4g3> and you can teleport up to the top of the cliff and launch fireballs and flame lances at them
<|337C4Bb4g3> and you instead pull out your short bow and start shooting at them, even tho they are behind cover
<|337C4Bb4g3> you are just being an idiot

* Alcar considers using metrices while DMing!
<Alcar> could get players confused
<Alcar> DM: "The guard attacks your half orc." Player: "Huh? I'm a human .." DM: "Uh, he thinks you're as ugly as one and has bad eyesight."
<Alcar> or just run the wrong campaign....
<Alcar> and ignore player hints that it is the wrong one
<aslhk> no
<aslhk> playing a game = doing something

<|337C4Bb4g3> in order to use metrics, you would have to be like
<|337C4Bb4g3> hold on... i need to make a GARP chart that shows the probabilities of you hitting the orc, and all the possible outcomes of you hitting, missing, or doing anything else
<|337C4Bb4g3> then i must draw up a capability maturity model of the orcish community, and analyze the potential impact of the death of this orc
<|337C4Bb4g3> just in case you kill him

<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Cole what is your Familiar? what type of animal?
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( a eagle ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( you are loking to fallow someone right? *Hint* *Hint* ))
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( he was sent to scout ahead of us ))

<Koby`> (( I should give Koby a level in sorcerer and a chicken familar.... ))
<CoLE_QuaZDA> (( ohh gawd ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Kentucky Fried ? ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Chicken Familiar, Grant the Spellcaster with the Ability to never go without eggs for breakfast ))

<Hart```> murphy's laws were all meant for IRC. that's how dicebots came around.

<Koby`> Those pcs never go looking for treasure. No one in their right mind would go underground killing innocent creatures for coin. There are lots of safer ways to make a living than dungeon explorinfg. Saner too. I think they're all just looking for dominatrixes :p
<Koby`> Well, seriously :) I mean, the world's supply of honest heroes'd dry up fast since they'd all die too soon to reproduce. That leaves the reproducing (horny) ones to explore dungeons. Saying "its a dungeon" *hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge* would give them a reason to :p
<|337C4Bb4g3> Koby`: No, those are just the stupid honest heroes
<Koby`> ALL heroes are stupid. Its a prerequisite to being a hero :)

<|337C4Bb4g3> Koby`: So people who are just genuinely nice without being utter morons don't qualify as heroes?
<Koby`> Nah, those are good samaritans :)
<Koby`> Real heroes grow out of that or die :p
<|337C4Bb4g3> apparently north korea has a different definition of hero
<Koby`> A sane person would say "underground. Evil. Nasty." *vivid images* "Ah!" and not go under. Real heroes are blessed with no imagination :p
<|337C4Bb4g3> "Last week, the country named a 15-ton pneumatic hammer as a national hero for "producing many parts necessary for railway transportation and the industrialization of the country," according to state-run media"
<Koby`> well, thats real life. Not d&d :p
<|337C4Bb4g3> damn
<|337C4Bb4g3> i was gonna make my next character a 15-ton pneumatic hammer!
<Jeramias> Man, that would just make my toaster PC look lame

<Dungeon_Master_M> Cole... save me some time and Kill yourself :P
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( Cole please fight yourself ))

<Hart```> "If you take avoiding the point as a sign of wisdom, then you must know a lot of wise people."

* Natalia` needs to go to bed. work in 4.5 hours
<Elandra`> (do you ever sleep?)
<Koby`> (( lol ))
<Natalia`> ((sometimes))

<Elandra`> i'm a normal "ninja" i'm probubly as sain as that groops going to get
<Koby`> Elandra - You mean other than the compulsion to wear black pyjamas? :)
<Elandra`> other then that, besides only used when needing to realy sneak around and not be spotted

<Chaos`^> Who runs around with 1 hp? =p

<FatLawyer1`^> "If you have an allaby then you have nothing to worry about, just agree to see the damned cop!"
* ArTiMus sayz "look just get me out of here i need to check my blood wine"
<FatLawyer1`^> "Fuck the blood wine, you're in real trouble here, they think you're guilty, regardless of your aliby!"
<ArTiMus> (( fuck the blood wine how the hell do you think you get paid ))
<FatLawyer1`^> (( I get paid by the hour >=))

<Alexander\\\> Perhaps Mr. Johnson and I should go investigate the school, and see if we can't find what has become of Mr. Jenkings
<MattJohnson> "Well, I don't see how it could hurt. Why don't you give them a call and tell them that you may be interested in having your child enrolled."
<Alexander\\\> A fine idea.
* Alexander\\\ heads out to his car.
* MattJohnson dematerializes and heads out to the school.
* ArTiMus sayz "alexander wait up i will accompanmy you but i need to go change first"
<MattJohnson> "Artimus, a gay couple is not exactly the best way to avoid attracting attention to ourselves, which is probably something we don't want to do."

* ArTiMus goes and changes
<AlcarDM> ArTiMus does that without dying or getting arrested :)
<Rei_Jr> (( are you sure? :P ))
<Clyde> (public nudity is a crime you know)

* Alexander\\\ gets out of the car and starts walking towards the front office (keeping an eye out for anything suspicious).
<Alexander\\\> (( You know, like dead bodies, scary supernatural occurances, guys walking around with assault rifles in their jackets, stuff like that. ))
* MattJohnson also heads to the front office.
<Rei_Jr> (( any undead insurance salesmen? ))
<Kandi`^> (( undead life insurance salesmen? ))
<Alexander\\\> (( Nope, I am a business consultant ))

<Kandi`^> "Now.. Picture yourself as a human."
<AlcarDM> (( "Why would I want to be that?!" ))
<AlcarDM> (( "They're icky!" ))
<Rei_Jr> (( damn it ALcar I was about to say that :P ))
<Rei_Jr> "ok.." *reluctantly*
* Rei_Jr seems to, for a while even, but absolutely nothing happens.

<Kandi`^> "Now.. relax with that image in your head and close your eyes, and think about that image.. and only that image.."
<Kandi`^> (( don't get ahead of yourself ))
<Rei_Jr> (( do you seriously expect me to be able to jus tthink about one thing for an extended period of time? :P ))
<Kandi`^> (( yes ))
<Rei_Jr> (( wow, you don;t know kids :P ))

<AlcarDM> She hands you a small folder with projected budgets also "Woodbrige Elementary is very committed to the students. When the government cut funding, we decided to continue with it ourselvces, and have some very impressive backers."
<Alexander\\\> (( if so, I pull the assault rifle out of my jacket... er... wait, thought I was someone else, never mind ))
<Alexander\\\> (( one sec ))
<AlcarDM> (( lol ))
<AlcarDM> Mara: "Woodbrige is a very nice, secluded school to raise your child in. When the Elder Gods rise from the oceans and the world goes mad, Woodbridge students wil be trained to deal with the horrors and ensuing carnage. Furthermore, our school is very well respected world wide and many colleges vie to choose our students. When Dread Cthulhu rises, we wont HAVE a budget problem anymore!"
<AlcarDM> j/k :)

<AlcarDM> You see news footage of the local harbour. A car - Matt recognises it - driving over ther pier into the ocean while beign shot at by ArTiMus
<AlcarDM> ArTiMus jumps in with his gun after the sinking car
<MattJohnson> "Wonderful. That was the polymorph's car."
<MattJohnson> "At least he's firing at the right person."
<MattJohnson> ((Hey! His lawyer will love this! This is awesome for the temporary insanity plea!))
<ArTiMus> (( hopefully i cannot get arested for shooting at a non human ))
<AlcarDM> (( you have no proof its NOT a human ))
<Baliadoc> ((actually, if you prove it's not a human, you still don't have the right to bear fully automatic weapons :))

<ArTiMus> well another char bites the dust
<AlcarDM> Nope. Not even dust was left. distingrate is evil :)
<ArTiMus> why did you have to distingrate me

<Nicolai> ((well, depending on who set it up, it'd make things a lot more difficult to copy the drives. I was thinking they were using like Death to Intruders OS or something, and that i'd be turned into a bunny for looking at it.))

* Alcar hopes people had fun :)
<Baliadoc> hell, i was in for like 15 minutes, and i came out with one of the most popular restaurants in the world :)
<Baliadoc> i'm happy :)

<Baliadoc> you're evil? i bought a restaurant three seconds after the owner died ;)

* aslhk pictures a pacifist ghost dressed in cammies and armed with a rifle and a pistol
<aslhk> interesting to say the least =P
<Alcar> "Make love, not war." Ghost shoves its hand with a flower in it through your chest. "oops."
<Baliadoc> sounds about right

<aslhk> I was thinking of becoming Christian *laugh*
<aslhk> preaching to the undead
<Alcar> "What heaven?! We're dead!"
<aslhk> well, he'd believe that they'd been given a second chance
<aslhk> and that the reason clerics can turn undead is that undead are closer to god
<aslhk> and can be affected by divine powers

<aslhk> Just last week I played an igneous rock with a basaltic background! he got turned into a metamorphic rock, though, when he fell into a crevice!

* Maranda`-`- comes down the stairs streaches a bit then joins the others at a tabble, not even noticing her new found bat like wings but for some reson seems all that more attractive then the night befor
<AlcarDM> <Mari> 'Just Arko.... " looks over at Maranda. "Interesting night?"
* Maranda`-`- grins and nods
<AlcarDM> A few villagers stare in shock. The innkeeper drops a tray of drinks and says "What in the?!"
<Maranda`-`-> "Don't tell me, i'm glowing?" *looks at her self a bit worried*
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "I think becoming pregnant is the least of your problems right now."

<AlcarDM> The crowd looks puzzled now. A few of them recall the orgy yesterday and realise Maranda *must* be demonic. The few who didn't violate their sexualities during it decide that demonic isn't that bad :)
<AlcarDM> the others really don't want it repeated
<Maranda`-`-> (shame is such a powerfull tool)

<Jeramias> it would kind of make sense for lightning to have fly, but I don't know. I'll just put lots of points into jump so that I can jump off buildings and make it look like someone is getting struck by lightning
<AlcarDM> lol
<AlcarDM> fly works :)

<Mors`^> "I need someone to come up with something creative as my Crest.."
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "A scythe?"
<Mors`^> "I said Creative."
<AlcarDM> <Mari> "3 bunny rabbits, two ostriches and 4 lemmies en garde with a floral pattern. For the upper left."
<Adanine> (( lol , now that's ridiculous ))
<Mors`^> "Creative, yet simple... and more masculene.. they'll think I'm little bo-peep."

* Maranda`-` grabs the one who shot her and goes to kneeing him in the groin
<Sparkie> Maranda`-` 1d20+8: 11
<Sparkie> Maranda`-` 1d20+5: 13
<Maranda`-`> (or mabie not)
<AlcarDM> The trooper fights back and is good enough to avoid getting hurt in his precious :p

* durgan looks for blasters and grenades, to fill his bag with =P
<AlcarDM> Maranda cleans herself off wirth some snow and durgan recovers 7 blasters and 5 grenades.
<Mercer```> "I'm going to wait here and see if a rescue squad comes. I don't want them getting near the new town."
<Mercer```> "Can I have one of those grenades, durgan?"
<durgan> "Sure! Which ones are grenades?"
<Adanine> (( Try them out, see which ones explode ))

<durgan> "How do these things work, anyway?"
<Mercer```> "You pull this pin, then I think you have around 5 seconds to get rid of it."
* Mercer``` demonstrates, without actually doing anything
<AlcarDM> (( wow. Thats.... some demonstration. TQM, anyone? :) ))
<durgan> ((You should put that in the quotes file =P))

<Dalener> "As you walk through the dungeon, Genesis 5:12 attacks you! Roll initiatve!"

<|337C4Bb4g3> I could always play a mountain range, and crush cc
<|337C4Bb4g3> if i felt like being vindicative
<|337C4Bb4g3> "See how you like playing GRAVEL!"
<Alcar> cc: I would have had 3400 exp if I hadnt been turned into GRAVOL

<Shadow```> (( how long will it take to get where i'm going, and land? ))
<Shadow```> (( a WEEK?! ))
<Chaos`^> that's.. if your FTL engine is working
<Chaos`^> yes, it's on another part of the galaxy
<Shadow```> (( erm... so like, I'm assuming that there's a ton of food on this ship ))
<Chaos`^> What is this food you speak of?

<Chaos`^> (( your character doesn't eat ))
<Shadow```> (( and as a non-total moron, he wouldn't put himself in a situation where he is gonna starve to death ))
<Shadow```> (( ya he does ;b ))
<Shadow```> (( he eats A LOT ))
<Shadow```> (( a week without food would very likely kill him ))
<Shadow```> (( and he would be in NO condition to land ))
<Chaos`^> (( Huh.. to bad.. ))
<Shadow```> (( what do you mean, too bad? ))
<Shadow```> (( did I somehow end up playing character with a 140 IQ and artimus brain? ))

<Alcar> ok. The bullet strikes the shed with a clang and the sounds inside stop. The waiter comes out, his eyes cold as ice. "Who is there?" his voice seems to ring over the entire park unnaturally loud
<Alcar> Inside the shed, you can hear ronald snaffer sobbing
<MattJohnson> one moment as I ponder evil things to do =P
<MattJohnson> ((any suggestions? *laugh*))
<Adanine> (( Aim the gun at the waiter ))
<MattJohnson> ((i'm currently a pacifist =P))
<|337C4Bb4g3> (( snipe him! ))
<|337C4Bb4g3> (( in the head! ))
<Adanine> (( In the testicles makes good results ))

<Alcar> Mr. Valentine goes back to writing out cheques for the people Artimus ticked off :)
<Alexander```> (( Mental note to self: send valentine a bottle of bloodwine! ))
<MattJohnson> ((evil! hahahah!))

<MattJohnson> "Where there is life, there is hope."
<MattJohnson> ((sermon time!))
<Alexander```> (( this coming from a group of 3 undead dudes ))
<MattJohnson> ((I know ;))
<Alcar> Ronald blinks, then says "He took it. All the warmth. Gone bye bye. Lost ... so cold .... "
<MattJohnson> "Often," *looks at himself deprecatingly* "where there is not life, there is hope."

<aslhk> Why do you know so much about guns? Are you a criminal?
<MyBrains> no, I just like guns
<aslhk> hah!
<aslhk> that's what i'd say too!

<aslhk> Tom Clacy is an evil, evil man, that prides himself on his writings on death and suffering!
* Leech_Wilcomes thinks thoes are good traits for a gm

<Rahad`> (( If underwear could talk... people would stop wearing any :) ))
<Keith`> wolfies underware starts talking to him, but he doesn't realize its only his sword
<Wolfie``> (( I truly hope your joking :p ))
<Keith`> its saying soemthing about an exesive amount of body hair and that he needs to shave, it says his sword could shave/skin a cat rather nicely
<Keith`> at this point wolfie realizes whats going on
* Wolfie`` blinks and looks at his sword for a long moment. "All right, that was just freaky. Now stop it!"

* Rahad` looks at Wolfie``. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't like that sword all that much either, right? At least it's rather annoying, isn't it?"
<Wolfie``> "Very. The talking underwear was the last straw."

<Gunter_> "If I might bring something else to your attention...?"
<Gunter_> "Please remember the terms of my employment."
<Rahad`> "Oh um.. remind me?"

<AlcarDM> Emily frowns, her expression grim. "There is always a way out of problems .. I can't believe he would deal with Satan .. " she takes a deep breath. "What .. kind of twisted acts, sir?"
<MattJohnson> "The being he was dealing with has the ability to change age and shape. In addition, it could change reality to suit it. I'll leave the rest to your imagination."
AlcarDM> Emily. "Oh. Oh, my." Her eyes widen. After a bit of thinking that would put most Harlequin Romance writers to shame, she says: "Why'd he back out of it?"
<Alexander```> (( tell her it was because of her! ))
<MattJohnson> "He loves you, and he knew what he was doing was wrong."
<MattJohnson> "He just needed an opportunity to get out."

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