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<Myrth> "Wait, how can we be in the past but still see ourselves, and if we wait here long enough will we meet up?"

<Gabriel```> "Let's head to Veska. We might be able to find out if we changed anything there."
<Ashi> Ashi shrugs. "Would be interesting..."
* Myrth mutters "To much thinking involved"
<Xemit> "I don't care."
<Gabriel```> "That was... varied."

<Chaos`^> what year is it in axon? and what day?
<aslhk> Chaos`^: it is "Black Tuesday." and tomorrow will be, "Black Wednesday." The day after that will be "Black Thursday." It will continue in this pattern until the campaign ends. There is a chancellor, man! A chancellor!

<Darkkin> Who's this king?
<AlcarDM> Vallhard
<Darkkin> how did this king become king
<AlcarDM> he killed the last one :)
<AlcarDM> Traditional.

<SamHall> "Oh, good! I want to get this project underway as soon as possible" *points to his sleeve* "You see, I have deduced that placing a small thaumic fluctuator to generate the proper fields of morphic resonance could greatly upset the equilibrium of a magical field, causing a large influx of..." =P *trails off and begins writing on his sleeve*
* Baro`^ opens his mouth to respond to samhall, but shuts it just as quick, assuming it useless to try and talk to him...

* Baro`^ looks at the guard "We have a magic beast?"
<AlcarDM> Captain: "White furred, possibly from the mountains. Some noble brought it, apparently planning to kill it and tan it's hide as a gift for the former Emperor."
<Baro`^> "Your highness, I also suggest we create more farms.. perhaps if we converted some battlefields into farmland.."
<Baro`^> "I also suggest we kill the beast and sell it's skin.. it will give us a start..."
<Althalus```> "You should see the beast before you sell it's hide. One skin will not fund an empire."

<Vallard> "I think that idea about getting more crops sounds good..."
<SamHall> "Crops would be nice, your majesty, if our fields were not already overfarmed."
<Althalus```> "Then mass production of some other commodity is probably our best choice."
Vallard> (( snowglobes. ))
<Baro`^> (( No, samhall might get turned on ))
<SamHall> ((I don't make fun of your character's sexual preferences! =P))
<Baro`^> (( That's cause I'm a heterosexual =p ))
<SamHall> ((Oh, and that's not humourous now? =P))

* Dele`^ opens the gate "Come out."
* Umagoro eyes the open gate and backs away from it a bit and eyes it from the middle of his cell
<Dele`^> "Come on, we're going to get you a teacher.."
* Dele`^ motions for umagoro to come, much like calling a dog
<AlcarDM> « "Heel, Umagoro!" Umagoro attacks your heel... »

* Maritermus leaves the room
* Baro`^ says in a low tone "I don't know, but I don't think I like him.."
* Baro`^ might hire himself to kill him...

<Althalus```> "Yes, very well. So, the question is, which families might be willing to marry into the kings line?"
* Vallard looks around at everyone. "I don't think this is a good idea."
<SamHall> "The Lady Alyen of Eris or Lady Sarah of Manchee"
<Althalus```> "Whether or not it's a good idea is irrelevant. We're exploring one possibility."
<AlcarDM> The royal treasurer stares at Sam "Lady sarah . .as bride of the king? She's 2!"
<SamHall> "Well, it's not like the King is getting older."
<SamHall> "She'll catch up to him in practically no time!"

<Althalus```> "To protect her, she would most likely be in the care of her family most of the time. We'd have a sit-in here, until she's older."
<AlcarDM> The Chancellor, midly as always: "A sit in to protect her virginity?"
<Althalus```> "If you're not going to offer anything useful, keep quiet. I don't need another young fool flapping his gums."
<SamHall> ((lol. that was directed at The King? =P))
<Althalus```> (no, the chancellor)
<Baro`^> (( the chancelor is 720 years older than you =p ))
<SamHall> ((I can't believe you're messing with the chancellor *hides under the table*))

<AlcarDM> Chancellor: "Nations are founded on people, not magic," quietly. He looks at Althalus "Magic is only half of this world, it cannot be the basis of an empire in this world."
<Althalus```> "I understand that. But we need to put some money back in the royal coffers. I'm attempting to circumvent the whoring of our King."
<Vallard> "I'm all for circumventing that."

<SamHall> "Personally I am in favor of a combination of all of these plans. Our king has to marry in any case."
<Althalus```> "Indeed. I'm personally for marrying him when we're in a bit higher position of power."
<AlcarDM> Chancellor: "The king is also not alive. That will cause some .. issues. Particularly in the producing of offpsring."
<Vallard> "What he said." *indicating the Chancellor*
<SamHall> "I am sure we will be able to find a way around that."
<SamHall> "I have actually been giving it some thought lately. *Gestures at his other sleeve."
<Vallard> "Oh God.."

<Althalus```> "Let's not get off track here. Does anyone have anything else to say about the marriage option?"
<Vallard> "That we aren't doing it."
<Baro`^> "He could adopt.."
<Althalus```> "Dully noted, Your Majesty. Anything else?"

<SamHall> "behold this frog! Kiss it and she will become a princess! Marry HER!"
<SamHall> "It appears not to have worked..."
<SamHall> "Wait, I know! She's a FROG PRINCESS!"
<AlcarDM> The king turns into a frog :)
* Vallard kisses the frog. It dies :P
<SamHall> "Marry her and all of the frogs of the land will unite behind you, your majesty!
<AlcarDM> "Well, tadpoles will give us LOTS of heirs.."

<Baro`^> The catch is, you have to marry their daughter
* Vallard throws a ball of blue-green fire at SamHall :P
<SamHall> lol!
<Vallard> better than having to marry their son, I suppose :P
<Baro`^> oh! there's an idea
<SamHall> Vallard: well, he was their son until they found out that the king is male

* Umagoro fallows dele in the door
* Dele`^ walks into the trone room proudly "I found the problem your highness.."
* Umagoro stops in the door way and scans the room as his eyes widen in terror and takes off running down the hall howling
* Vallard blinks and looks at where Umagoro momentarily was, then looks at Dele`^. "Oh?"
<Dele`^> "I would like you all to meet Umagoro.."
<Dele`^> "Uh... that didn't go well..."
* Dele`^ runs after umagoro

<AlcarDM> but your pc is smarter than the DM then! That's no fair! :p
<Althalus```> that's okay, it balances out. my pc's smarter than his player, too :)
* Althalus``` meant it to represent his deep understanding and connection to magic, mostly

<Vallard> wow, its really unorthodox to have a Yeti in a throne room, eating and feeding a bunny in the background :P
<Althalus```> but it's sort've post-impressionistic. it's deep, yo

<Vallard> yeah, next sessions is when the plagues and giant ti waves come in :P
<Althalus```> well... plagues, maybe. haven't decided what we need to do to the other countries yet
<Vallard> send them Tarrasques?
<AlcarDM> gift wrapped
<Vallard> it big boxes, so they cant tell what it inside. Marked "do not open til X-Mas". They should be good and hungry by then :p
<Baro`^> How do you keep a tarrasque in a box?
<Umagoro> large trunk of holding :)
<AlcarDM> the same way you keep universal solvent in a container, duh!
<Vallard> with tape, duh :P
<Vallard> Duct Tape can hold anything :P

<Warner> hehe eman is a true CFer. He was created so that I could tell the DM all about him in less then one paragraph.
<Alcar> Eman was fun.
<Warner> He's so simple even hard as DMs would have to let me use just a single wish spell just to create him from scratch :) no need for and's :)
<Warner> hard ass
<Warner> if your taking quotes alcar please note corrections :)

<Warner> my faverite Eman moment was when he rolled a 20 and finally killed something. Was his first hit in battle. He was pukeing his guts out from the sheer terror of it.
<Alcar> Yeah .... wish more people rped low level pcs like that :)
<Warner> Someone actually thought he was a vegitarian from the way he was acting. Had to go out of carictor and explain the concept of being shocked by your first kill when you wern't raised watching bloody movies video games and the 6 oclock news

<Warner> Now that would be fun. Give the DM a full on power PC to NPC as your mom :)
<Alcar> "You didn't brush your teeth?" *aura of doom*
<Warner> "No dragon slaying till you clean your room!" "But Moooom, its terrorising the local population" "No butts! The dragon will just have to wait till you take out the trash"
<Warner> "I'll go kill the dragon you do your homework" "Aw mom!"
<Alcar> "But ma, I want the experience!" "What use is experience if you don't do your math and can't add it, hmm?"
<Warner> "All my friends play with decks of manythings" "I said no! you'll earn your experance killing orcs like your father did."

<Warner> Suprize your PCs with it "As you turn left at the T in the passageway you encounter a horrible sight! You mom is showing the orcs you were about to kill photos of you being potty trained!"

<Alcar> "You can only go out to fight those orc raiders if you take your sister. It's your turn to look after her, you know."
<Warner> Oh god draging your little sister thru a dungeon crall :)
<Alcar> Wouldn't it be funny, tho? :)
<Alcar> "No, don't touch that ... button."
<Warner> oh man I can see an adventure based exactly on that. You have to free the children of a vilage and it turns out one of the victoms is your little sister. you save her, the way back is blocked. So for the next 17 dungeon levels you have to deal with her screeming durning every fight and while your trying to move silently shes whining about needing to potty :)
<Warner> buttons I could deal with. that parts like having a kender in the party.
<Warner> oh but a kender and your little sister together.... *Shudder*

<Alcar> The party advances down the dungeon, hearing some off "Goo goo" sounds and finds your PC with some orc babies, baby-sitting them.
<Alcar> "Hey, you guys went all through the those 5 levels? Why not just use the entrance..."
<Warner> now thats a way to introduce a PC whos player has been gone for awhile :)

<WarezBert> so is the axon party evilish?
<Alcar> Evil is relative :)
<Alcar> They did kill the last Emperor and some of them have been trying to marry a lich to a 2 year old girl, however.
<Alcar> That's evil in most people's books :p

<WarezBert> mmm
<WarezBert> 6 feet of black steel
<WarezBert> thats a giants sex tool

* aslhk begins to head away from the remaining walls, but one of his wheels falls into a crack in the floor and gets stuck.
* Sir_Perfluous goes over and helps the poor robot out of the crack, looking at the walls nervously.
<aslhk> "My wheel is stuck!"
<aslhk> "Thank you sir!"
<aslhk> Sir_Perfluous and aslhk, in classic style, clear the area just as the walls collapse.
<Sir_Perfluous> "I am just doing my duty.." tries to shove aslhk away from the walls. "Just .. doign my durty ... can you ... hurry. Thank you!"

<Sir_Perfluous> An old woman dressed in grey and carrying a book comes hurrying over from a large building made from Lego. "Excuse me? Excuse me? Is this the Jefferrson's home? We're owed 300 yearsd in back taxes, you know."
<aslhk> "This is an automated response. I am sorry, the Jeffersons are not in right now. Please leave a message with aslhk, texas instrument robot model J34qq niner, and they will respond at their earliest opportunity. Thank you.
* Sir_Perfluous recalls the better part of valour and backs away "Well, I was just a .. bystander .... I don't know anything about taxes. Nothing at all. I'm a wandering knight in the quest of ... of .... " *thinks* "I knew I'd recalled it yesterday.."
<Sir_Perfluous> « <-- was on a quest to drink from the river of forgetfullness. However, as a result he doesn't recall the quest nor where the river is :p »

<Alcar> lovcraftian baywatch would be funny "Oh, no, Pamela went out into the ocean?!" "That's not a drowning big breasted woman in makeup, that's a tentacle! It' hit her!" "Look, shes flying away through the air. It must have popped!" *general rejoicing and merriment*
<Alcar> Next session; "Jerry Springer and Women Saved From Cthulhu By Breast Implants."

<ArthurQ> Im considering throwing a lamp into the game ala ring of 3 wishes.
<ArthurQ> i just KNOW someones gonna make an illconsidered wish
* Sintaqx wishes that goblins were more like kender.... whoops...

<SnailSlug> i'd like to see any hacker hack into an intelligent computer
<Tech-sensei> Easy. Take 1 chainsaw. Dangle above mainframe. "Give me access or i drop the chainsaw." Computer is inteligent, self aware, thus self-preservant.

<durgan`> "This demon's sleep is being guarded by all of the demons of the north. They are more afraid of its awakening than anything else. If you choose to view it as just another demon, that is your prerogative, but it seems to me like calling a mountain a pebble because they're both rocks."
<AlcarDM> The Old Man chuckles, a dry rasping sound, and looks at durgan "Amusing. Do you have proof to back that up?"

<Mors`^> "So.. you dom't believe in gods?"
<AlcarDM> Kel: "Of course not. If there were gods, they would aid us."
<Maranda`-`> "They gave up on us along time ago. or so i've gatherred"
<AlcarDM> Kel: "We made the gods. They could not give up on us."
<Mors`^> "They have given up. And some are stuck here, with the mortals.."
<AlcarDM> The blood lord Kel glares at the god fo death and says: "How would you know the gods are among us?" Earning most stupid NPC statement of the night hands down.

* Maranda`-` holds the man down kissing his forhead and shuttering all at once
<Mors`^> "Oooohhh The kis of death.."
* Allynor watches
<Allynor> "I'm rather glad I don't have a stomach. I don't think it could handle this..."

<AlcarDM> He nods, then takes a deep breath and says - fighting to get the words out - "Thank the demon, too, for saving.. us." And vanishes before you can reply.
<Maranda`-`> now thats high prase out of a blood
<Allynor> sad that he'll probably be burned at the stake as a traitor :)
<Maranda`-`> to say the least
<Maranda`-`> probubly drain him of his blood in an act of "purification"
<Allynor> or at the very least work in the infomercial business for the rest of eternity. Depends on how lenient they're feeling.
<AlcarDM> Allynor - That's a bit TOO evil :)
<Allynor> well like i said, if they're nice, they'll just kill him :)

* Amandis bleeds to death, his last thoughts not on his master but on the fact that maybe anger was bad and that his head really does hurt an awful lo...
<Dungeon_Master_M> Amandis Wanders twords a bright white light at the end of a long tunnel when suddenly he stops and says to himself... "Screw this, too far." then he turns and heads back.
<Amandis> « "Wait, I forgot to shut the stove off! I'll be right back!" »
<Worra> (dude it was your head inside the gas oven that caused your death! what do you mean you forgot to turn it off?)

<AlcarGM> ooh! Revive old royal rules on polygamy!
<AlcarGM> You can marry vallard each session :p
<Hugh`-> oh gods
<Hugh`-> I hope we dont make Queens a major import :P

<Darkkin> A friend of mine a great dm died Monday
<Hugh`-> oh, man.
<Dark83> my condolences...
* Darkkin does not think he'll get a reply to his last email he sent to the dead dm
<Hugh`-> probably not.

<Elana-Silvereye> lets have an rpg where we are all normal people that get together and play an rpg
<Caltak> oh oh we should play an RPg wheere we are people playing a Pen and Paper RPG who are playing a video game rpg who are playing a different pen and papaer RPg who are playing us! :)

<Adanine> ¸How about cavemen RPG?
<Alcar> Adanine - Done that too :p
<Adanine> Fuck
<Darkkin> We've done alot of that odd ball stuff here
<Caltak> nope, he hasnt done that yet :P
* Caltak laughs
* Alcar lights Caltak on fire :p

<Baro`^> "As I said your highness, perhaps you should show the public there is no reason to hate you."
<SamHill> (("Marry a peasant!"))
<SamHill> ((We can have her murdered and start a war with Gildas!... wait... wrong script.))

<AlcarDM> There is motion in the door way and a cold, haughty voice says "That is not your only worry, Vallard." Elliande Almago enters the room, her presence filling it. "There is also the matter of the destruction of my city to deal with."
<SamHill> (("Perhaps you'd like to marry our king in recompense?"))

<Baro`^> "What is needing repairs in the city?"
<SamHill> ((loL!!!!))
<AlcarDM> <Elliande Almago> "What needs repairs?" She glares at Baro "Almago is no more!"
<SamHill> ((you should read the site =P))
<AlcarDM> She stares at Vallard. "On behalf of my people, I wish to know what you plan to do about it.
<Maritermus> (("We will send you a get well card"))

<AlcarDM> <Elliande Almago> looks at Maritermus disdainfully "And you are...?" imperiously.
<Maritermus> "Maritermus Royal Advisor"
<Vallard> "Of the New Hampshire Royaladvisors?" :)

<Vallard> "Bah, politics."
<AlcarDM> <Sytus Idorian> "They are rather unavoidable when one is a king."
<Vallard> "Unfortunately."

<AlcarDM> Ok, the crown of the moon is not as old as the world, but it is as old as the moon, perhaps it created the moon (or vice versa). The only legends about it are Ithacan and they believe it was the heart of the temple of the moon in their lands, and that it's light came rom the other world where all magic comes from.
<Althalus```> does it seem to do anything else? any ceremonies it was used for, like summoning death beams from the moon?
<AlcarDM> « Well, it was borrowed by a mad Emperor once who wanted to blow up other worlds and kept calling it his Death Star and killing anyone who said it was moon... »

<Baro`^> it is very noble to say 'make it so.' and call your next in comand #1
<Vallard> no, thats very stupid and lame :)

* Baro`^ hopes Elliande likes the poem he wrote for her... =p
* AlcarDM hopes your pc didnt seriously write a poem :p
<Baro`^> 'I can be your hero baby...' lol
<Baro`^> no, but I did send her flowers ^_^
<Vallard> "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Girls dogs are Bitches, and so are you."
* Vallard considers submitting that to #poetry...

<Tech-Sensei> two levels of paladin, one level of monk, one level of sorcerer, what do you get?
<Tech-Sensei> A stunning smiting true strike boot to the head!
<Tech-Sensei> now wnat to hear what's scary?
<Tech-Sensei> I actually intend to do that
<Tech-Sensei> Gonna play a char with the long term equivilent of attention deficite disorder. He just constantly shifts what he's doin.

<Gunden`^> (( I'm a treasure hunter, and don't you forget it... callme thief one more time, and I'll steal your tounge for you... ))

<Setesh> i don't remember him [link] tracking.
<Katie_F> he tracked zora and found his way through lost woods
<ArthurQ> thats not tracking!
<ArthurQ> thats luck and a damned video game with a predetermined path

<ArthurQ> you need a Feat to track :-P which i personally think is stupid
<Setesh> ArthurQ: indeed.
<Setesh> "you see tracks" "i don't have the track feat" "they're big tracks"

<Dungeon_Master_M> Once I had a group of PC's who's battle tactic was to have the Party fighter engage the enemy while wearing a ring of Protection from Fire. Then the 3 Spellcasters would release Area effect Fire Spells on the fighter hurting everyone around him.
<Dungeon_Master_M> In order to teach the group a leason When the fighter engaged the enemy in a crowded city street a group of spectators gathered to watch
<Dungeon_Master_M> In the end half the city was in a uproar trying to rid the town of the Lawful Good Party of Adventurers

<Reykemias> monkey: do u have parents?
<Monkey_Magi> yeah, but they arent about to loan me cash to go see you guys
<ArthurQ> dont tell em its for D&D
<ArthurQ> say you really want to see NYC
<ArthurQ> and spend a weekend there
<ArthurQ> for the Culture
<ArthurQ> and expereience points
<ArthurQ> err
<ArthurQ> Experience

<Kent```> "Anyway, everyone introduce yourselves to the System. System, record voice and brain wave patterns for Andy and Greg for System control."
<Andrew`-> "Um, hi System, I'm Andy."
<Greg``> "Hi, System. I'm Greg."
<Greg``> System: "Patterns acknowledged. Degree of control granted?"
<Kent```> "What are the degrees?"
<Andrew`-> (( "Centigrade or Fahrenheit." ))
<Kent```> ((Dammit, i want Kelvin!))

<Kent```> "Yeah. The mirror is some ex-Mercurian, i think. He's the maneur in that one shed. I think it's some sort of strange jail cell."

<Alcar> gemm was telling me about the detective of the watch. It seems like a neat one, even tho there are some aspects of it I'd change. A party of pcs being a town watch would be a fun game, tho :)
<Alcar> level 1 pcs. the rest of the watch was killed by some "good' adventurers....
<Baliadoc> oh totally. the detective is neat :)
<Alcar> Mayor: "You're the town guard now." PCs: "Why?" Mayor: "Well, you're new, so you have no preconceptions, loyal, we don't have to pay you much, you need jobs, you're expendable ... Hey! Who wrote this sppech?"

* Alcar thinks if I'd run it I'd have one player make a detective pc then the others make level 1 pcs.
<Alcar> detective is sort of the captain/mentor and called out of retirement because the rest of the watch was butchered.
<Baliadoc> ahh, the grizzly old bastard type of guy :)
<Alcar> If the player wanted, yup :)
<Alcar> "Yes, I know. I know. Ok, yes sir. He stabbed you through the heart. But youre a vampire! You're not alive, so I don't think its murder.."
<Alcar> Vampire: "Ah hah! Discrimination!"
<Alcar> "Self preservation, maybe.."
<Alcar> This could be FUN!

<metshad_snowed_in> of course im a plot device
<metshad_snowed_in> im the DM :P

<Mors`^> So, I take it the survival rate is so low, you are going to kill us off to end the campaign?

<scapegoatDM> The path begins levelling out but the blood continues to flow, not rising at all. Some begins coming down - or perhaps out of - the walls. You can hear whispers at thwe very edge of hearing that might be voices.
* Rene`- whistles and has a manner similar to if we were walking along a pleasant wooded trail.
<scapegoatDM> A few of the villagers give Rene horrified looks
<Rene`-> (( "After we kill him, I have first dibs on the lair!" ))

<Rene`-> "I wonder what kind of songs a bard would be coming up with for a story like this." *shudders, the first time she's seemed phased by anything since we got here :P*

* Allynor should pay attention to xp more often, but it's never been that important :)
<scapegoatDM> Not that important? This is a d&d game, how can you say that?! :p
<Mors`^> lol, it is very important, especially when you are about to fight cthulhu.. every level counts =p

<Maranda`-`> question.... with my sence of hearing so high, could i try and figur out where its exactly located by trying to lisen to it (ie its center) and try and strike out at that
<scapegoatDM> it has no center :)
<Maranda`-`> well fuck

* Maranda`-` could try and charm it
* scapegoatDM stares at Keith
<scapegoatDM> Charm Cthulhu?
<Maranda`-`> charm demon, it says it works exactly like charm person other then it doesn't define a form it works on
<scapegoatDM> You don't have enough tentacles, for one thing.

<Mors`^> "Cut her... and pour th blood... on the seal..."
<Allynor> "You mean she can be dead?"
<Mors`^> "I don't.... Know... It's worth... a try..."
<scapegoatDM> The dead body doesn't reply.
* Mors`^ didn't expect it to, it's dead =p
<Allynor> "Maranda is on her way back. If the dead blood doesn't work, I think I can revive her."
<Mors`^> "Not unless... we have to... They don't like... it..."
<Maranda`-`> "I know you have just been resorected but we need you to bleed to death on this ground too.."

<scapegoatDM> Lyrin: "What is your curse?" quietly.
<Baliadoc> "I'm trapped in this mask. Doomed to repeat my life until I someday repent for my arrogance, or perhaps until I regain my full memory."
* Baliadoc lifts his mask up slightly, to reveal he has no face, just empty space (much like his players head! ;)

<Alcar> elf pc with centaur son? :)
<Chaos`^> uh... ok
<Keith`> "yes son i had to kill your father when he broke his leg"

* Alcar does assume his pc is embarrassed a LOT by his son, tho :)
<Chaos`^> "Can I ride you? My feet really hurt... ... THat's no way to talk to your father!"
<Keith`> alcars pc's ex-wife while talking to the other village woman "Now if he had half the size of his son has between his legs i would have stayed with him dispite the horse insodent"

<Kirith> Politically correct d&d. It would be so much fun :)
<Kirith> "My pc lifts his enormous, freudian phallic symbol and charges you.."
<Kirith> "The knight, in his noble but misguided need to preverse the patriarchical system, steps between you and the lord with his weapon drawn."
<Kirith> "The cleric beings praying, cvalling upon her nondenominational, genderneutral deity in a manner that, while not between equals, does not serve to continue the master/slave relationship of gods and followers over the millenia.."
* Kirith stops now before I begin to scare myself.
<Ruedan> oh thank god
<Daino> "in doing so, a logically explainable phenomenon, of which a logical explanation has yet to be dervied, concurs, results in the apparent benefit of the surround malevolent supposed acquintances of hers"
<Kirith> no, they're not malevolent, they're "socioeconomically challenged"

<Daino> "You walk into the public-available congregation point of the local adult population who are just looking for a good time after work. As you approach the not underpaid, as the socially employed economic program provides for the difference in his lack of salary, liquid/beverage attendant/homogenizer, and ask him for a container filled with a chemical combination of multiple fermented grains and fruits which when consumed produce the effect of
<Daino> supposedly pleasure, regardless to the possible or apparent danger to ones health or judgement"
* Daino takes a deep breath, and never breathes it out. EVER

<Kirith> "This game we're about to play has been cancelled due to it;'s sexist, ageist, weightist, heteropatriarchialist, intellectualist, observationalist biases and that it's socioeconomic biases prevent it from being played by the computertectually challenged. We apologise in a sincere manner"

<Ruedan> 'Where's Amandis?'
<Aaowen> "He's dead"
<Ruedan> 'Wha...oh well thats really too bad'
<Dungeon_Master_M> Cassandra: "Dalendaryn is going to try getting them revived."
<Kirith> « Thats IT? No plan to go hunt down the killer, demand vengeance from the gods? *sobs* :p »

<Dungeon_Master_M> The Guards, where all wearing Studded Leather, and carried Longswords. You find nothing or Real Value, a few Gold Coins (22 gp Total) and a rough map of the northern Forests attached to a letter describing the increasing number of Pigmy attacks in the area.
<Worra> (you've now got SIX bodies to explain instead of one)
<Dalendaryn> "Ok. We've killed three militia. This poses a serious problem."
<Dungeon_Master_M> Cassandra: "For now it is not safe for us here."
<Ruedan> 'well then lets get rid of these bodies and get out of here, but how we gonna get rid of the bodies?'
<Aaowen> "we could always burn the bodies"
<Dungeon_Master_M> Cassandra: "And the Inn I suppose."

<Kent```> "What the heck is going on?"
<Greg``> "Well, Kent, if that's you .... we're in another earth being attacked by somene and, hmm, system is down. Oh, and the espresso machine is dead."
* Kent``` gets to his feet, glad he ate before piling through the gateway from hell, then looks around the island, trying to figure out if anything's different, if we're all going to be destroyed soon, or what
* Kent``` turns and looks at greg
<Kent```> "There's no espresso?"
<Greg``> "I'm sorry about the machine. You camer here at a good time. You can clean up the kitchen faster than I can."

<`Kelly> "Something was taunting me before, giving me, visions and um, saying I could be or have more"
<`Kelly> "what was that?"
<`Kelly> "was that you?"
<Greg``> Voice: No. That was you, might be you *frusterated* How do you think like that, with minds in minds, I's in I's. It's so confusing! Are you sure your sentient?
<`Kelly> "YES!, I'm senteint, what the heck are you anyway, I dont like anoying things in my head, you tell me now!"

<Chaos`^> Harknar leads the way to the mountains.. It soon gets cold and you think your going ot get frostbi(te) (( ha! )) No rainbow bridges are in sight... but, perhaps tomorow... unless something happens that the pc's do, the sun goes down in the evil forest... one can only hope that they call it evil forest because it's pretty.

* Alphari is currently a dark elf from Svartalfheim.
<Alphari> with a centuar at a son, too!
<aslhk> lol Alphari
* Alphari is too, aslhk :p
<aslhk> Alphari: I believed you =P
<aslhk> I'd have trouble imagining you play an elf character without a half-woodland-animal-child.

<metallicshadow> +2 vorpal greatclub
<metallicshadow> aka mr. homerun

<Myrth> (( Well, i'm not evil so theres really no one i'm plotting after and there aren't any kingdoms looking for lich wizards for hire, so i'm left in the dark for a job. This market sucks ))

* Xemit comments something about getting there god to go vengfull on them inorder to become legends
* Ashi shakes her head and looks at Xemit "I was here before once. Pity it hasn't changed..."
<Xemit> "Talk about going from one side of the coin to the other"
<Zacharel> (( phew, I was afraid we did that somehow :P ))

<Myrth> "This town sure is a bore."
<Ashi> "Even more than when I was here last. The ruling family are ..... unique."
<Myrth> "What do you mean?"
<Ashi> "They don't believe anything fun should be legal. I've never understood how they produce heirs, myself."

* Zacharel wonders what this town would think if I was in my true form :P
<Ashi> They're have you killed for molting.
<Ashi> this is puritan paradise :p
* Zacharel is an angel for crying out loud! :P Ah screw em, let's burn the f*cking city down :P
<Zacharel> see there's proof, I censored a vowel :P

* Ashi is wondering when the pcs actually will burn the city down. Nothing is more anti-pcs than an honest, hard working LG society :p
<Gabriel```> rofl
<Gabriel```> C/E rogue masquerading as a citizen. "Ah yes, Welcome to the city of... aw fuck it all. I can't do this! You all need to die, or get drunk, or something!! I mean, c'mon! You have to piss yourselves off!"

<Ashi> Medrel stands up.
* Myrth chants a few small words and the bard begins to rise from his state of death.
* Gabriel``` blinks, at both the guard's yelling, and Medrel
<Gabriel```> "Okay, whoa whoa whoa! This is getting out of hand!"
<Ashi> The guard stares at the raised body and makes a choking noise
<Gabriel```> "Hey! Whoa! Down boy!"
* Gabriel``` runs over to the rising corpse, then tries to convince it to be back on the ground

<Zacharel> dontcha love how a simple trip to see if we altered history can change into a mission to usurp a town government? :)

<Myrth> king: "By the way, did you kill the former king?"
<Ashi> King Claudius: "WHAT? I am the King and you ask ME that? When I have seen this .. this outrage?!"
<Myrth> king: "I didn't think so, just asking for the sake of asking."
<Ashi> Hamlet and Gertude are frozen on the bed in rather awkward positions now

* Myrth removes the crown from the king and puts it on the bartender's head then telepaths to the old king "Bow to your king."
* Myrth wispers to the barkeep "whats your name again?"
<Ashi> Bartender: "Bill."
* Myrth shouts "All hail Bill!"
<Ashi> Bartender: "Bill Shakespeare. Uh, why?."

<Ashi> King Claudius "It takes more than a crown tobe king! He isn't even of noble birth!"
<Ashi> King Claudis: "For all we know, he could be some hack playwright!"
* Myrth slaps claudis accross the face.
<Myrth> "And whats wrong with playwrites?"
<Myrth> claud: "He could probly do a better job than you ever could."

<Myrth> claudius: "No, you are no king. Chiefly because you never were in the first place. You were a over paranoid clutz with power, unwilling to listen to the subjects who drive your kingdom."
<Ashi> Claudis givs Myrth a confuswed look "Isn't that what being a king IS?"

<macha^> damn, how do you argue to someone who doesn't know they are dead that they are dead and the body they use isn't theirs?

<Gabriel``> "Macha! What is it?"
<macha^> "Lets just hurry to a cemetary, this is getting wierder than i'd ever imagine."
<macha^> "And the name is Myrth, not Macha."
<Gabriel``> "Be thankful that I want to give you a swift death."
<macha^> "What? Why kill.. kill me?"
<Gabriel``> "One guess."
* macha^ looks at Gabriel "Its not like i have a big choice in the matter."
<macha^> "I told you that Macha wasn't alive in the first place"
<Gabriel``> "Why not stay dead next time."
<macha^> "Well excuse me for living!"
<Gabriel``> "I think the point of the story is that I'm not excusing you for living."

<Ashi> You ride out of the city of Veska, a haven for the lawful good of the world, now having to deal with a dead king, a new king, a dead bartender and a humiliated lawforce. The people eventually refuse to allow any travellers in, since you're all obviously evil.
<Gabriel``> makes sense :)

<WarezBert> picard was a telekinetic with a specialty of manipulating waste products... he was always sitting down, then getting his #2 to go do stuff for him.
<Alcar> He was the perfect manager. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. Do it well enough and you don't have to show up for work :)

<Keith`> once in a game i was in someone RPed going to the can
* WarezBert screams in agony as the bowels of hell... oh wait, thats my bowels
<Alcar> With or without sound effects, keith?
<Keith`> nah just the i go off in the bushes and make a nasty smell

<Darkkin> well paladins don't have to
<Darkkin> Every year they roll a fort check if they fail they take 1d20 damage from there rear blowing up
<WarezBert> nah darkkin
<WarezBert> no damage
<WarezBert> at the end of 1 year, they sit down next to a forge, and crap a holy avenger
* WarezBert watches the demons run in fear of his compressed corn&iron ration holy sword

* Alcar once rolled an appliance - with no useful power - that was infamous.
* Alcar still can't figure that one out.
<Alcar> "Oh, those MIB? They want my dishwasher."
<Baliadoc> no, seriously, Alcar. c'mon: "Don't use that dryer. It always eats my socks."
<Baliadoc> now THAT'S an infamous appliance

* Grant` opens the door, and says "compu-guide, arrows to cafeteria"
<Darkkin> Compu-Guide "Intergalatic house of gruel follow arrows sir"
<Darkkin> After walking for 5 mins you come to a large door with the letters IHG on it

<Darkkin> Robo-Gruel "Its comon place here on the station new comers can't take the gruel most of the time"
<Tim```> "Does it contain special ingredients?"
<Darkkin> Robo-Gruel "Yes it does but they will get used to it and they will not just sleep like that"
<Tim```> "May this one enquire as to the reason for those additions?"
<Darkkin> Repock and grant make bubbles in there gruel
<Repock_Windser> (( were gonna drown ))
<Darkkin> Robo-Gruel "It helps build up there immune systems for space flight"
* Tim``` looks at them. "I see. So suffocation in ones meal is ... a minor by product?"
<Darkkin> Robo-Gruel shrugs "They normaly knock it over guess there better aims"
<Repock_Windser> (( lol death by gruel ))

<Grant`> wow, 3 hours into the first session, my char's life is totally reliant on a single die roll
<Grant`> cool
<Darkkin> Robo Gruel saves the day as he flies in from outside and turns the switch and brings the two of you two the inside as he seals off the zero g room
<Tim```> LOL Grant
<Repock_Windser> (( robo gruel??? ))
<Tim```> « the food bot, remember? »
<Repock_Windser> (( lol ))

<Cade`> "so... not on earth... wierd island 'took' you here... lightning 'took' me here... and bill gates just had a fatal kernel error"
<Greg``> 'Basically, yes."

<Andrew`-> (( thinking about it, this place has been like a crappier version of Temptation Island :P ))
<Andrew`-> (( after we get back to our world, we need to score everyone a girlfriend so we don't have to worry about that :) ))
<Cade`> [hehe... problem for my char is electric generation... the more excited, the more electricity... i need a girl with nerves of steel... literally]
<Andrew`-> (( have System make you a robot girlfriend :P ))
<Andrew`-> (( wouldn't need much of a power source, what with constantly getting recharges :) ))

<Alcar> <Sparkie> Your flaw arifact is a Appliance or Machine. Your Primary powers are Offense Disintigration field (O) and Anti-life ray (O). Your secondary power is Offense Dark matter attack (O). Your drawbacks are Blackouts (M), Infamous device (M) and Infamous device (S)
<Alcar> now THAT is sick :)
<Keith`> you carry with you a toaster....
<Keith`> "its not just a toaster!"
<Keith`> "It eat my last room mate i sware!"

<Baliadoc> anyway, I think Darkkin's thinking we should be the crew of the entire ship, which is impossible. That's what the other crew is for. We should be the heads' of each department, not the only people capable of actually doing anything :)
<Alcar> Let the red shirts have some skills, too!
<Baliadoc> if that's the case, I'm firing everyone and turning their extra living quarters into a game hall
<Alcar> "We're being shot? Where is the gunner?" "Ah, he's currently a pool table, sir.
<Baliadoc> "Well, get the liutenant in here to gun, then." "No can do, cap'n. He was fired to make room for said pool table. And all the others under him are fired too. The jacuzzi's in their quarters. It really is nice."

<ArthurQ> i also have this...skewed view
<ArthurQ> that a party is supposed to work together
<ArthurQ> but everyone had their own alterier motives for killing eachother or something or other
[Kevren explained :)]

<Dungeon_Master_M> Hypothetical Situation:
<Dungeon_Master_M> As your adventures begins you awaken in a dank dark cave with no memory of who or where you are. As the world around slowly blurs into focus the realization of the pounding in your skull overwhelms you. then you remember, the Ogres. You where fighting them, looking around in a panic the smell of herbs and garlic fill your senses. Twisting to get up you realise you bound by rope and chain to the ground.
<Dungeon_Master_M> Fighting and struggling against the ties that bind only manage to change your view of the room slightly. You you can see them, two ogres standing over a Cauldren of blackened Iron that they are stiring. 'Its not their laundry' you think to yourself as you now wonder where your companions may have gone.

<Dungeon_Master_M> If you want to make a Check Please feel free to Roll it. I can always Ignore it if I want :)

<Dungeon_Master_M> Blaide Roll Will
<Dungeon_Master_M> DC15
<Blaide> 1d20+6 will
<Sparkie> Blaide 1d20+6: 7 will
<Blaide> 1d20 test
<Sparkie> Blaide 1d20: 20 test
<Blaide> (okay alcar stop fucking with the dice)
* Kirith never does
* Blaide looks at the last two rolls
<Blaide> uh huh suuuuuure

<Dungeon_Master_M> Commander: "No, it might be better for you to not stir up trouble. The Armies are ordered to quelsh any hint of another uprising. and people asking questions might get other edgy."
<Kirith> Ah, yes, the perfect government :p
<Dungeon_Master_M> Every new Government is worried about someone else trying to take the control away the way they got it :)
<Kirith> "We're here to free you and if you speak against it, we kill you." :p

<Dungeon_Master_M> Sargent: "why don't you just give me your purses and we will hold them for you... untill we get accross the river."
<Blaide> "That river seems rather trecherous. Perhaps we shall pay you AFTER we cross it."
<Blaide> "I would like to remind you that your COMMANDER HODGES provided for our passage. It would be insubordination to extort money from those that a superior has given passage.
* Dalendaryn reaches for his purse, readying Biocurrant
<Dungeon_Master_M> Sargent: "Well, the commander did say to escort you, that doesn't mean you don't have to pay the bridge toll."
<Blaide> "That would be acceptable if there was a bridge."

<Blaide> "Then we shall pay your toll. Could you give us a bit of space to retreive the gold from our packs? I have my money in a rather tricky compartment."
<Dungeon_Master_M> The Sargent eyes Blaide's Spear: "Perhaps we just take the gold from your corpse"
<Blaide> "Your striking a paladin of herronious would not bode well for your karma."

<Dalendaryn> Not on tactics.. we are surrounded
<Blaide> note on tactics : feel free to shit self

<Iegan> D&D doesn't have a very standard after-life cosmology

<Nathaniel124> Like, there are dms who will screw Wishes all the time, even legal ones
<Alcar> No such thing as a legal wish.
<Alcar> Speaking as one of those DMs :)
* Anansy high-fives Alcar
<Anansy> no wish is specific enough:)

<aslhk> I think that only two sorts of people use wish: stupid people, and people rping stupid characters! =P

<Nathaniel124> Y'know what's fun? Try to figure out your own stats
<Alcar> d&d doesn't have stats that high, Nathaniel124 :p
<aslhk> anyone who thinks a real person could be quantified using d&d stats has an int of 8 or lower!

<Alcar> the other problem is getting pcs (and their players) to actually revere gods without killing them all :p
<Alcar> "So, he's my god, right? How much EXP do I get for killing him."
* Alcar could see players trying that p
<aslhk> I bet they have
<Alcar> Player: "Well, it does say to kill the buddha if we meet him ... " DM: "Not with a vorpal sword!" PLayer: "So, I want exp?" DM: "Your pc is never, ever achieving enlightement." Player:"How much EXP does that cost to get?"

<Chaos`^> You make square wheels =p seriously though, it would take the better part of a day to make wheels big enough to put on a table...
<dieterette> ((that is so not true =P it's easy to make wheels
<Chaos`^> (( What are you going to make them out of? ))
<dieterette> ((wood! I brought lots from the forest =P))
<Chaos`^> (( Not giant wheel sized! ))
<dieterette> ((how big are these tables!?))
<Chaos`^> (( About 6' diamiter ))
<dieterette> ((You don't need big wheels for a 6' diametre table!! =P))
<Chaos`^> (( You do if it has three legs! ))

<dieterette> (( I SO wanted to drag a table along with us. I have this vivid mental image of someone riding on it. ))

<Chaos`^> considering none of you has a compas, and you are in the forest in half a day.. you get lost...
<dieterette> ((we don't get to do wilderness lore checks? =P))
<Querdie> (( how can we get lost? ))
<Chaos`^> (( No, dm's power of loosing-ness.. Besides, why are you arguing, this gives you one more reason to hate the sorceror ))
<Querdie> (( i know it, but i was just wondering about the whole sun rising in the east thing ;b ))

* dieterette excitedly shows querdie her new train set.
<dieterette> "Look at this! Watch! You put the coin in, and it MOVES AROUND!"
* dieterette claps her hands delightedly
<Chaos`^> Dieterette finds it hard to hold it close to her chest...
<Chaos`^> (( GOod lrd.. the forst coin machine.. ))
<dieterette> ((you're lucky I didn't make a rail gun! =P))

<Chaos`^> xpeaking of carebares...
<Chaos`^> wouldn't it freak you out if your kid came running to you and told you they just saw a bear flying in a rainbow cloud, and shot rays of light from their stomach and lived in the sky? I would be fer getting a drug check on my kid...
* Alcar was debating a villian like that .... make everyone all good and gushy, then rob 'em blind :p
<Chaos`^> Alcar you are so pesimistic... santa a lich, evil carebears... uhg..

<Caltak> you should've put a Meanwhile somewhere on the site :)
* Alcar should do that during the game at random intervals, for no reason :)
<Alcar> Meanwhile, in the city of San Fransisco, Mrs Flamel turns on her TV.
<Caltak> Meanwhile, a butterfly in New Jersey flaps its wings, and a man in Cairo, Egypt doesn't know about it.
<Alcar> * The butterfly was a monarch butterfly
<Alcar> **For more un buterflys, pick up Butterfly and Ether, #1, still on sale!
<Caltak> "Wait wait, don't talk so fast, you're making it hard to see." "Huh?" "You're filling up the panel with word bubbles, moron!"

<Alcar> Ohh, a superhero with a Midas touch would be fun....
<Alcar> Everything they'd touch would turn into a muffler :p
* Baliadoc was thinking of making a character with the real midas touch, at first :)
<Alcar> That would be funny .. up until you turned buildings into gold and the world economy died horribly :p
<Baliadoc> yeah. he was just gonna be a troublesome character :)
* Baliadoc was going to have it only affect a small amount of area each time, then realized he'd do mean things like break arms, then turn the broken area to gold, so that it'd never heal. bad stuff :)

* MechaBlue wishes there was a local Nightbane game
<MechaBlue> There is nothing like playing a supernatural horror who tends to have two times his body weight in ammunition on him at any given time
<MechaBlue> "Your character has 75 pounds of armor and weapons?" "Yup" "How?" "Resistance training" "What?" "Just smile and nod."
<Alcar> Those are players you sick Cthulhu on :p
<Alcar> "I want that new..." "You don't need it." "But it can.." "It doesn't matter."

<Chaos`^> How do you spell 'kama sutra'
* Alcar hopes that doesn't have anything to do with your PC :p
<Chaos`^> err.. maybe...
* Alcar looks worried
<Caltak> super kama sutra power, eh? :P
<Chaos`^> No, it's my base pc's skill ;)

<AlcarGM> The big.... whatever he is .. sits down in one of the chairs, then says "Talk?" slowly.
<George`^> (( Well.. It all started when I was a baby.. my mother breast fed me, but then she died, so I had to move to the pig in the pen... ))
<Wesley```> "Right. Why'd you decide to go on a ramage against the Dragons?"
<George`^> (( WOuldn't that make YOU throw people from alleys? ))

* Wesley`` heads back to his office, taking a few more notes, and looks at the trenchcoat, giving it a good once-over to see if it belongs to someone else besides him
<AlcarGM> Its not there anymore.
<AlcarGM> There is a message on your answering machine, however.
* Wesley`` just looks at the chair where it was, giving the chair a very accusatory look, then checks the message

<AlcarGM> It's not the landlord. Or the insurance company. it's worse. It's your father. "Son ... *cough* Wesley .... " sound of stuff being moved around "I'm going to be in Boston sometime this week." He gives you a cell number "You can reach me there if you want to get together for a beer or something." *hangs up*
<AlcarGM> Your father doesn't have a cell, last you heard...
<Wesley``> "Alllright. Dad's movin' back up in the world. Last time I heard, I was real, not some character on the Twilight Zone."
<Wesley``> ((can i tell what kind of stuff he was moving around? Anything I should worry about? :))
<AlcarGM> « Bodies? »
<AlcarGM> « Actually, just a paper weight of some kind. »

<Christian```> "Oh. Those spoony goblins! Anyone got any rope?"
* Yuki`Maiko shouts "Time to die fly!" and turns and flees

<Christian```> "Distract them!" *to the others*
* Gurrg shakes his head
* Gurrg jumps up and down, and screams aggresively
* Fiona`` flies up and glares at the goblins. "This is so ridiculous."
* Fiona`` moons them :)

<Fiona``> <Lance Christensen> looks at you coldly. "We didn't let anyone out. We put a woman ni this cell, in your clothing, and you woke up."
<George`^> "So you're saying i'm a were-woman or what!?"
* George`^ leans close to him, or as close as the bars will let him "Do you have ANY idea how REDICULUS that sounds!?"
<Fiona``> <Lance Christensen> "About as much as there being someone in cells with you last night when no one is on our cameras except you!"

* George`^ crawls in the front seat and begins to explain "Thanks. They had this stupid Idea that I was some lady named Jenny... They say she went to sleep under some blankets, and I woke up in the same spot..."
<George`^> "I don't even know why i was there.."
<Fiona``> Jessie: "Uhm, Jenny was female George. Trust me on that."
<George`^> "Well anyway, they have this wierd idea that I'm her... And what's stranger, there was some guy in there that they said was NEVER there! Ha!"
<Fiona``> Jessie stares at you for a very long moment. "You really do think you're going to fail this year, don't you?"

<Gurrg> its broken
<Gurrg> its moving
<Gurrg> dead wolves dont do that
<Gurrg> i have to make it dead again
* Gurrg swings
<Gurrg> it should be dead again

* Christian``` keeps pounding on the stupid beast
<Keith`> it takes some dammage
<Christian```> "Why won't you die?!"

<Fiona``> d100 - arrow, at Christian's friend
<Sparkie> Fiona`` d100: 30 - arrow, at Christian's friend
<Fiona``> wow. I ... didn't fail....
<Fiona``> d8+12 - yes!
<Sparkie> Fiona`` d8+12: 13 - yes!
<Fiona``> no....

<Christian``> 1d100 - go die die now?
<Sparkie> Christian`` 1d100: 11 - go die die now?
<Christian``> 1d6+10 - if this isn't enough to wipe you out, i'm going to switch to weapon skill - plasma cannon
<Sparkie> Christian`` 1d6+10: 16 - if this isn't enough to wipe you out, i'm going to switch to weapon skill - plasma cannon

<Gunden`^> yeah, other than having letter sex, I think the random jenny/george change thing is cool.. you know, in the middle of a battle jenny changes to george who freaks =p
<Yuki`Maiko> Jenny presses charges on George cuz of the sex letters and such
<Gunden`^> yeah right
<Gurrg> restraining order

<Gunden`^> so... if george were to attempt suicide... would it be a hostage situation?

<Keith`> oh yah you do see a village a ways off but its beond traveling time for the day
<Keith`> you get to start off there tommorrow
<Christian``> "We'll get there soon enough. For now, I've built a latrine to the west about 10 paces. If you roll anything higher than 5% on a d100, you will most likely be destroyed by my traps. Good luck."

* Dungeon_Master_M assigns all the Characters Numbers. 1) Dalendaryn 2)Aaowen 3)Cassandra 4) Ruedan 5)Blade 6)Alcar's Character(Forgot the name) and 7)DM's Option
<Sparkie> Dungeon_Master_M 1d7: 2
* Dungeon_Master_M contemplates killing Aaowen... Lets see if I kill my Girlfriends Character I will likely be the next victem....
* Dungeon_Master_M re-rolls ignoring the number 2
<Sparkie> Dungeon_Master_M 1d7: 2

<Daikon0712> lemme guess this campaign has NO openings?
* Dungeon_Master_M pulls out a Glock and puts it to Alcar's head pulling the trigger covering the channel in red & grey brain matter...
<Dungeon_Master_M> "It just so happens we have an opening"
<Daikon0712> is there really an Opening?
<Daikon0712> Is there Dungeon
<Alcar> You think we shoot peoples brains out as a *joke* here?!
* Alcar looks shocked :p
<Daikon0712> um?

<Daikon0712> what does it take for me to be +v or +O?
<Daikon0712> +o rather
<Dungeon_Master_M> That requiers use of a Wish, Miracle or Limited Wish spell.
<Daikon0712> for real?
<Tech-Sensei> bear in mind he's an IRC virgin
<Dungeon_Master_M> ... uh, if you have access to thouse spells for REAL then you scare me.

<Dungeon_Master_M> Dalendaryn, Ruedan, Blaide: You hear a loud Shreiking to the south
* Blaide draws his spear.
* Dalendaryn hurries to the source of the shriek
<Dungeon_Master_M> The Shreiking is a mile or two off, and it sound Non-Human
<Ruedan> 'I heard something and I don't like the sound of it...'
<Kirith> "Is this actually our business?"
<Blaide> "We should investigate. People may need our help!"
* Blaide heads in that direction.
* Dalendaryn pauses as the information sinks in
* Kirith stares at Blaide, then sighs and shakes his head
<Dalendaryn> "I don't think that's a good idea...."

* Blaide remembers how his last party died, and exercises the better part of valor, placing one foot in front of the other at maximum velocity in the direction away from the pygmies.
<Dungeon_Master_M> Pigmy (Spelling)
<Blaide> (oh crap they can cast spells too?)
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( uh... yeah Sure that sounds good :P ))
<Dalendaryn> (( Lol ))
<Dungeon_Master_M> (( I was correcting your spelling ))
* Blaide flees in terror (not lvl 2, so not immune to fear)
<Blaide> ((i know, it's just too good a joke to pass up))

<Dalendaryn> "Man, you look like you've seen a Balor or two."
<Blaide> "Worse... pigmies..."

* Kirith nods. "Even a jail cell in the city might be better than pymys on the open plain."
<Kirith> « Hmm, I can't believe I just typed that.... »
<Dalendaryn> "Pygmies don't comeonto the plains."
<Dalendaryn> "Normally."

<WarezBert> evil groups shouldnt ever be suprised by treachery
<WarezBert> its like a given
<Kirith> Evil does not HAVE to be treacherous. Thats just a cliche made up by good people to make themselves thing they are superior.
<Kirith> Sad part is, most players play the cliche :p

<George`^> "Really? Wow... Just my luck eh? The perfect woman turns out to be me?"

<Wesley```> "Alright. In the event that we start getting put together by reporters or witnesses or anything, i'm going to use the story that i'm doing some pro bono investigative work for you, alright?"
<AlcarGM> Wendall: "Oh, I never thought of that...." He thinks "What's pro bono?"
<Wesley```> "Free."
<Wesley```> (i think?)
<Wesley```> (just realized i don't remember :)
<AlcarGM> « Yeah. »
<AlcarGM> « LOL »
<Wesley```> (phew.... it's one of those nights :)

<Barry`Mugan> "So what do you do for a living"
<Wesley```> "I'm a private investigator. You?"
<Barry`Mugan> "Me? hmm"
<Barry`Mugan> "I'm a Battlemage of the order of the 7th plane of heaven"
* Wesley``` chokes on his next shot of whiskey, sending a good part of it flying over the bar
<Wesley```> "What!?"
<AlcarGM> Wesley orders another drink now? or two .. or three ... ?
<Wesley```> more like a bottle, or two, or three ;)

<Barry`Mugan> "I'm skilled in both sword and the mystical arts of wizardy"
<Barry`Mugan> "I do amit i'm still taking spellcasting 101 at harverd tho"
<Wesley```> "You attend Harvard... for spellcasting?"
<Barry`Mugan> "Why yes they have one of the greatest classes there on it"

* StarChild`- can't remember any comic where the cops try to arres the heroes when they're first starting out :)
<Alcar> That's because this isn't comics! This is real life!
<StarChild`-> bleh :P

<Barry`Mugan> "Laws no longer afect our kind they wernt ment for people with our gifts"
<Barry`Mugan> "Tonight people might have died if we didn't step in"
<Alcar> The GM looks worried
<Wesley```> "How so?"
<Wesley```> "I mean, why would we be above the law?"
<Barry`Mugan> "Law as we know it is outdated"
<Stella`-> (( uuhhhh... ))
<Wesley```> "We're nothing but glorified thugs."
<Barry`Mugan> "Follow the law and this city will fall to rubble"
<Stella`-> (( that talk makes me nervous too :P ))
<Wesley```> "Actually, law is created to avoid that situation."

<Barry`Mugan> "I'm saying we join everyone who is willing to fight back those who will harm this city"
<Wesley```> "I think you're moving a bit too fast."
<Stella`-> (( "We'll have a big building with a fountain in front, call it the Hall of something or other... and the we can save up for a space station ina few years!" ))

<DyingTwilight> If Jesus came back today, I think he would enjoy the D20 system.

<Gabriel```> "Though not the safest start, I should say. You'd probably be walking into your certain deaths."
<Ashi> "Been there, done that."
* Zacharel shrugs. "Nothing that I haven't seen before."
<Ashi> « "Certain death? In *my* day, we ran into it, younglings! And by the gods we gave it a good fight!" <-- random old npc. »

<Ashi> The PCs ride off into the dawn. Thankfully, they don't ride into the sunset since that would cause massive amounts of damage. The road to Port Town is well maintained and well travelled. For some reason, lots of adventuring groups travel or beign there. Perhaps it's fate, which some people spell a-l-c-a-r - which just goes to show how crappy Port Town education is, since f-a-t-e is much easier to spell.

<Chaos`^> (( Hey guys, I need to get a life... got any ideas? ))
<Zacharel> (( what, you're asking us?! ))
<Chaos`^> (( Yeah, you're right... ))

<Alcar> So.... whats this about a modern earth game, Chaos? *pounces*
<Chaos`^> Oh, right, just a modern earth dnd game, no restrictions, lvl 5, blah blah blah
<Baliadoc> so by the "blah blah blah" can i assume that you'll allow a 5th level gelatinous cube bard?
<Chaos`^> You can be a geletinous cube, but if you get eaten by wieght watchers cause you're one point, don't come running to me

<Chaos`^> listen, think about modern world, and how fast the government will disect you, then think about your character
<WarezBert> i will play the planet
<WarezBert> as a level one fighter
<WarezBert> i cleave america!
<As`ua> lol, with that much weight behind you, i'd like to see someone stop you :-) althouhg.. jupiter could be a problem....
<WarezBert> id get some exp from killing the asteroid belt, and mars
<WarezBert> then after i leveled up, id take out the other planets
<WarezBert> just in time to take on the sun

<WarezBert> any race? just have to worry about disection?
<WarezBert> ogre mage.
<WarezBert> mmm
<WarezBert> shapeshifting...
<Chaos`^> that was an example... There's more to life than worrying about disection.. How you gunna eat if you can't go to town or get a job? What happens when the mormons hear of you? why are you not a part of society today?
<Alcar> "I am the Tarrasque! I fear no ... no! Not Jehovah's Witnesses! Make them stop knocking on my lair!"

* Stella`- is currently wearing a t-shirt with "Hello Kitty" on it, khaki shorts that come down to just above her knee, and comfortable sneakers. She wears a small backpack to carry her things. <-- this is my clothing description today! :D
<Carrion``> (*gasp* are you actually gonna play a PC that CHANGES clothes instead of staying in the sames one every day?!)
<Stella`-> (( yup :) ))
<AlcarGM> « lol »
<Carrion``> (wow)

<Alcar> Summer shakes her head at the sci fi show with skeletons rampaging around the Museum of Natural History and flips to another channel, unaware she was watching the news :)

<Alcar> Meanwhile (Gotta love that word) George and his date, Bertha, are walking down the street just talking to each other when thsy see a skeleton in a cloak runing up the road followed by a reporter who is NOT named Jimmy Olsen in socks with a camera
* George`^ gives the sight a strange look and turns to his date "It's a sign.. We were meant to be together untill I turn into a skeleton and get chased by a reporter... Let's go get a room."

<Alcar> Naiomi is is in the lab, even when its a saturday, working on some ideas.
<George`^> (( Naomi, I moan backwords >_< ))
<StarChild`-> (( quiet you! *blasts George`^* ))

* George`^ (( shivers you sick little man ;))
<StarChild`-> (( what? You have a problem with that? ))
<George`^> (( no, nothings wrong with being sick... I'm perverted 90% of the day... ))
<StarChild`-> (( what, because I have a homosexual PC, I'm sick now? You're pretty narrow-minded :P ))
*** StarChild`- Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
*** Caltak has joined #Game1
*** Caltak is now known as StarChild`-
<Alcar> « apparently peer thinks so :) »
<George`^> (( No, because you're a guy, and your female pc is a lesbian... we know what's going on in that sick little head of yours ;) seriously though, I'm kidding =p ))

<drummergirl> are you a bot
<Sparkie> Are you?
<drummergirl> no
<Sparkie> Prove it.
<drummergirl> how
<Sparkie> Thank you for making my point :)
<drummergirl> so are you a bot
<Sparkie> If you can't prove you're not one, I can't prove I am one.

* TheShrike shrugs. I knew a guy on DAoC whose name was Leet Skillz... I always thought it was extraordinarily lame for people to name characters on a fantasy RPG like that... but then again, the best guild name I ever saw was "Just Press Accept, Stupid"

<Salem-> this is like harry potter meets MAD

* Wesley``` goes home and showers, then shaves, and looks at his face afterwards... giving himself another shave, and realizing his stubble refuses to go away. It reminds him annoyingly of those dark comic heroes.
<Wesley```> ((sometimes powers are curses, as well ;))

* Barry`Mugan wonders what Carrion is up to
* Carrion`` is looking for the graves of the fomer Legion of Doom
* Barry`Mugan is playing cards with them
<Carrion``> (maybe its time to form your Justice League wouldn't u say?)
<Barry`Mugan> (justice league? ya right not happing in hubris)
<Barry`Mugan> (not unless we control the world that is)
<Carrion``> (well then you'll have no way of stopping the all new Legion of Doom)
<Barry`Mugan> (who said anyting about stoping the legion of doom)
<Carrion``> (ohh...)

<Carrion``> "Well after watching many hours of Justice League and reading these books, I'm ready to set out on my quest."

* Carrion`` takes out a small vile "here you go little girl, this is what your looking for" its a very small test tube that has pink liquid in it
<Alcar> Girl2: 'How does it work?" To Carrion.
<Carrion``> "well you take a small drop and put it on your tounge, then you kiss whoever you want and their yours"
<Alcar> Gir2: "Wow. So how many times can I use it?"
<Barry`Mugan> (I'll asume that potion is untested mr no tounge)
<Carrion``> (what do u think I do with my minions? talk to them?)
<Barry`Mugan> (lol)

<Carrion``> "Well yes I could raise them now and send them out to take care of this army"
<Darkkin> And the world changes everyday we play our little game of chess
<Alcar> An all out battle between the military and the undead....
<Alcar> Sun editorial: The citizens speak out afainst Marital Law!
<Alcar> subtitle (From beyond the grave)

<Carrion``> "Well I was saving them for a special occasion, but I guess this will have to do, seeing as how the apocolypse never did come" <-- Reasons to Raise your Army of Doom #1: Government cover ups

<AlcarGM> The undead minion returns an hour later with a single bed. The bed has rumpled sheets, a Berstein Bears book in it and mickey mouse sheets.
<Carrion``> oy...
<Carrion``> "Please don't even tell me where u got that from"
<AlcarGM> Undead Minion: "YOu asked for a bed, though, boss."

<AlcarGM> The undead bodies rise in a clater of old, undulled weapons and bone grating on bone. In the alley, rats scurry and run for cover. the moon gleams down unconcerned as the bodies exit the coffins and form up before you
<AlcarGM> the leader of the knights salutes you formally and steps forward, his voice a dull grating "We live to serve."
<Carrion``> "Most excellent, you shall be off soon, we are just waiting for some new weapons for you to...kill with"
<AlcarGM> Bone Leader: "Who are we to kill?"
<Carrion``> "We will go down some streets to see who wants to oppose us. Then we will find those who are trying to cover up these foul humans and their so called 'superpowers'"
<AlcarGM> Bone Leader: "Minions of Stan?"
<AlcarGM> LOL!
<AlcarGM> Bone Leader: "Minions of Satan?"
<AlcarGM> Much better :p

<Alem_Dain> No, it doesn't. It means there's at least one solution that we've built into the adventure, and a (possibly) infinite number of other solutions that i haven't thought of.
<Anansy> you have to think ahead.
<Alem_Dain> But i do try to arrange it so that if you run up screaming and waving a sword around, you will undoubtedly lose.
<MechaBlue> I'm just suggesting the the stereotypical 'must find evidence' is often more difficult than 'spread his entrails over two square miles and make it look like an evil spirit did it' method

<AlcarGM> 2 strange beings in white with large black eyes are standing over a table with Naomi on it. They're muttering to each other in some odd dialect.
<AlcarGM> One of them reaches up and removes the goggles over his eyes. "Gah. Stupid containment procedures. She's just a girl."
<StarChild`-> (( lol ))

* Carrion`` sees if they have any pictures of him killing the boy mercilessly and having that woman killed
<AlcarGM> There is one picture of it. Grainy and from above. It's not a pretty sight.
<Carrion``> "Damnit! They got my bad side!"

<Alcar You want him to have a diffferent flaw?
<Gemm``> it seems vague
<Alcar> whats vague about it? He's *dead*
<Gemm``> well what I'm asking is how can being dead be a flaw?
<Alcar> How can it NOT be a flaw? :p
<Gemm``> well I don't see how it is a flaw though
<Alcar> Lack of social life, for starters. He's a walking skeleton, being mistaken as a runaway from Africa, being mistaken as a coat rach, being used as an xylophone ...

* RaFee` wispers "ok there he is follow me. silently this time ok"
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "Tak be really Quiet."
<D20> Taklinn_Rumnaheim 1d20-3: 0 Move Silently
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "So, who Tak sneaking up on?"
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "Has Tak snuck up on him yet?"
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "Tak wants Ale!"

<WarezBert> in any sort of roleplaying game
<WarezBert> weapons that hum ominously are the bomb

* WarezBert has one character with a brilliant energy keen weapon
* WarezBert likes using it to stop combat from ever starting

<Alcar> "This gun? Well, you see officer, I prevent battles. I stop the bad guys before they stop us. Sometimes before they cdraw their weapons. Sometimes before they look at us. Really, most of them time they don't even know I exist. But after I shoot them, it's not a problem."
<WarezBert> so you are a "long range mediator?"
* WarezBert had that embossed on his sniper rifle in one future-tech game
<Alcar> "Yes, I am a diplomat. This is my tank."
<WarezBert> "its hard to accept your diplomatic status while you drive over our capital"
<Alcar> "Driving over it? Oh, yes, that is our retalitory strike. We're just doing it before you attack us as a cost-saving measure."

<Alcar> anything you want added/changed for lance from whats on the hubris site?
<Baliadoc> oh, lemme go check him out :)
<Baliadoc> man, now i'm jealous. Wesley is great, but Lance was too damn fun. Now I'm missing out on all of it.
<Baliadoc> is it healthy to be jealous of something you created??
<Baliadoc> nm. i'm scaring myself now.

<Tuslaian> Not a problem
<Tuslaian> It's chock-full of evil DM goodness.
<Naaya_Kess> Evil Goodness ?
<Tuslaian> no
<Tuslaian> Evil DM goodness
<Tuslaian> Evil goodness is an oxymoron

<Baby_Rick> "i believe my powers are mostly linked to my overdeveloped intelligence"
<George`^> (( LoL Hardly ))
<Baby_Rick> [ quiet you :p ]

<Wesley```> "I suppose I'm a concerned citizen, if people like me are still considered that."
<AlcarGM> <Lance Christensen> "Concerned about what?" quietly.
<Wesley```> "What's going on."
<Wesley```> "It's a weird feeling, waking up one morning and being stronger, faster, more perceptive than you were the day before."
<Wesley```> "I've met a guy who got messed up pretty bad buy it. I know a girl who seems to care only about killing, as a means of stopping people who try to hurt her. Hell, I know a human lightbulb, and when I met her, she didn't even know she was one."
<Wesley```> "You know what the scary part is? Those're the proverbial good guys."
<AlcarGM> <Lance Christensen> stares at you for a very long moment. "I should retire early."

<George`^> Wesley isn't following me is he?
<AlcarGM> Nope.
<AlcarGM> Not that you can see.
<Wesley```> ((or so you think. I'm the big naked pink man statue in the corner. HA!))
* Wesley``` ((spits out more water convincingly... just a fountain...))

<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "Anyone looking for a Drunken Dwarf to go on a mission with?"
<Caltak> sure. The mission is called Feed the Dragon. We don't have any food to give it. Well, I guess we would now :)
<Taklinn_Rumnaheim> "Tak feed dragon by cooking up thouse eggs behind it."

<Darkkin> hey Alcar Collect Call of Cthulhu
<aslhk> lol
<aslhk> don't accept the charges! don't accept the charges!
<Alcar> "Oh, my God! Foul tenactles covered in putrid green ooze are sprouting from the phone Charles! These telemarketers are getting really persistent. I *told* them we won't take any Unspeakable Oaths!"

* Barry^Mugan looks for the holy symbol a sure way to find out were they are
<AlcarGM> Barry - it's a disk with some strange tentacled creature. You don't recognise it. j/k
<Barry^Mugan> i'm be leaveing them behind if that was true
<AlcarGM> She has none, actually.
<StarChild`-> (( its a smiling face that says "Have a Nice Day" :P ))
<Baliadoc> ((i don't think superman ever had this problem...))
<Barry^Mugan> ((sure he did always being kidnaped and sent to other worlds to fight and junk)

<StarChild`-> (( "Hey Barry, I have a question... how do you calculate THAC0?" :P ))
<Baliadoc> ((it should be a mathematical gordian knot!))
<Barry^Mugan> (( Yes i agree bali ))
<StarChild`-> (( "Damn, but what if we have to fight something?" :P ))
<Barry^Mugan> (( it scares the newbies away))
<Barry^Mugan> (( You know this only reinforces his ideas ))
<StarChild`-> (( "Well let's just hope this is 3rd edition..." ))
<Baliadoc> ((Caltak doesn't have any ideas. He just says things.))
<StarChild`-> (( you're damn right :) ))
<StarChild`-> (( "I wonder what class I am..." ))

<AlcarGM> A large, reptillian creature is flying towards the tower, with eyes as large as Stella gklowing with an emerald light. Magic crackled around wings wider than jet engines and a tail whips along beind it. The ... creatures mouth is open and the firs of hell seem to burn in its throat
* StarChild`- gapes.
<Barry^Mugan> "Ah a dragon"
<StarChild`-> "A--A DRAGON!?"
<Barry^Mugan> "Yes what you'd still think somthings can't be real? i mean were here"
<StarChild`-> "I.. um... well, still!"
<AlcarGM> The dragon flies towards the tower
<Barry^Mugan> "Well we can stay and chitchat with it or run for our lifes what you say"
* StarChild`- looks at Barry, then the dragon, then Barry again. "I say we leave." *flies really fast for the woods :P*

<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> sends the cleric on her way with the others and comes back into the shop. "I want to go back home. Now!"
<Barry^Mugan> "Well em.."
<Barry^Mugan> "Fine... but i'm not sure IF we will return i've never had to change reality back is such a way"
<Barry^Mugan> "You want to wait for Stella right?"
<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> looks shocked "Of course!"
<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> "You think I'd leave my own daughter marooned on an alien world?!" ..... "I can't believe I just said."
* Salem- sues her father for child neglet and brings him on an alien version of JERRY SPRINNGER
<AlcarGM> « Jerry Springer = Cthulhu! »

<Barry^Mugan> hmm lost in space meets lost in reality
<Barry^Mugan> Where in reality is Naomi might be a good game title

<fr8o_afk> I am so proud of my self hehe
<fr8o_afk> my level 4 monk killed a grey render the other night
<Marcus_Fenway> My Dwarf Killed 2 Barrels of Ale Before breakfast... Wait it was breakfast.

<Darkkin> Cthulhu for Mayor of boston

<Alcar> The prsence of master J can cause very, very odd things :p
<WarezBert> master J?
<Alcar> master j is an npc with one major power. Its the OmniPower :)
<WarezBert> bah
<WarezBert> omnipotence should be limited to the bedroom

<Darkkin> But alcar can tell you what happens to my players
<pr0bity> oh?
* Darkkin points to sparkie
<pr0bity> oh...

<Darkkin> just play it off as whatever kind of insane you want we can change it every day :P
<Alcar> hehe
<Darkkin> "I'm Sam becket a time traveler.."
<Alcar> ROFL!
<Darkkin> "What the hell am i here Al"
<Darkkin> I'm sure you can have fun with that one

<Stella`-> (( perfect, Bender's nearly a skelton, Naomi's little miss Omniscient now, and it's 3:17 am and I gotta get up at 10 and then go to my first day of a job at 3! :P ))

<EltananGM> Fu reverently holds the object out to Lucien. "Lucien-san.. This... has been in my family, for thousands of years. I have kept it until the day when I found a student worthy to pass it on to. I pass it to you now."
<EltananGM> Fu pauses again, and then adds, "I would... be careful who I show it to. It can have an odd effect on others even looking upon it."
<Adwyn> « looks at it, then says "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur" under his breath, just like it asked him too..... :p »
<Adwyn> « cthulhu meets Amber would be fun. »

<EltananGM> Lucien``- as you're watching the creature fly at you, you become aware of your own sword-stance in a way that you never have before. Little nuances of your posture and angle become clear and obviosu to you. It simply feels 'natural' to stand just 'so', to hold the blade 'thus', and to -expect- the creature, as it's flying at you, to do wither THIS or THIS or THAT.
<EltananGM> When the first creature comes into range, you find yourself moving almost automatically. Following your initial intention to hit a leg, you almost marvel at how quickly your blade slices through the air and dismembers one of the creature's appendages. You almost wonder why it doesn't go 'snicker-snack'.

<Elana-Silvereye> I haves Modem!
<Adwyn> oh, nice!
<Elana-Silvereye> I know!
<Elana-Silvereye> Now I can come rp with all you guys again me so happy!
<Elana-Silvereye> !*^o^*!
* Adwyn grins
<Elana-Silvereye> hey
<Elana-Silvereye> i dont know if I trust that grin

<Max^Mason> "So your that women who's been flying about and shooting aircraft"
<Stella`-> "What makes you say that?"
<Max^Mason> "I got my reasons just give up and come willingly"
<Stella`-> "Why?"
<Max^Mason> "The mayor has given the city over to the military to take care of those 'super humans' so i'm takeing you in for people to check you out if your clean and not super human you'll be set free"
<aslhk> (("Okay, first test, for that adamantine armor stuff. Drop several thousand pounds on her. *squish* Hmm, it seems we have no need to conduct further tests. You're free to go."))

<Baby-Rick> [hmm. i would like to keep marvin on ice for any new superpower that could faith heal came by...
<Baby-Rick> [and i want to get #3 squirreled away for future interrogation
<Alcar> Sqirrelled away where? He does need to eat, even unconscious.
<Baby-Rick> im aware <loftily>
<Baby-Rick> the real problem is do i want to just keep his body alive so it preserves itself? or just stash it in a cooler and set it to defrost every 20 yr
<Alcar> ......
<Baby-Rick> marvin not #3 lol
<Alcar> why me?
<Alcar> oh, whew!

<Bloodhound```> "Alright, one lead gone, one 'lead' a group of psychos at a strip bar, and I'm down five bucks. Life is currently pissing on my boot."

<Wicaedara> If Sparkie is a god, I think in the interests of balance that Krysylyn would be a goddess
<Sparkie> No! That's like making laurana bobbit a goddess of sex!
<Caltak> so?
<Wicaedara> your point?
<Sparkie> Oh, right.

<omshakal> i tell him i was just looking for a good view of the city and of course to make a modest deposit in the poor box
<pr0-dm> the cleric nods and leads you to the staircase "May the goodness of Tyr lead your path young soul, please, do as you wish."
<omshakal> like 5gp
* Gloresh hopes the stairs are in good order hehe
<Gloresh> (imagen falling down a staircase that tall
<pr0-dm> ((did I mention they were just waxed? half way up you see a sign, you should have deposited more, cheap *(&^(*&))

<pr0-dm> as you round the corner back to the alley you see a rather large half orc with the body of an elf over his massive shoulder heading away from you with a bolt coming out of the elf's back. To the side is a human man who is looking around cautiously as they make their way through the now almost desserted alleys.
<Wicaedara> "Shopping?"

<Kelris> pc is mute, btw :)
<pr0-dm> doh!!!
<pr0-dm> now you tell me!!!
<pr0-dm> arg :P
<Kelris> Sorry, thought i had :)
<pr0-dm> I thought you were kidding! :P
<Kelris> no

<AlcarGM> <Elrond Windchaser> starts slightly, then goes to the front door and looks out. "It's a man in b --- wait, he has a bible. Jehovah's Witness." short pause. "Is that any better?" And opens the door. "I'm sorry, but we're busy right now. If you want to tell us we're going to hell, come back later." and closes the door.

<Barry^Mugan> "I'm sure if they know where here and they know we know that they know were here then i'm sure we know that they know and we can then asum they will advance on the house if they really wanted anyone here
<Wesley```> "Flawed logic, if you ask me."
<Barry^Mugan> "Who said i was sane"
<AlcarGM> « looks at barry... what? »
<Stella`-> (( what ALcar said ))

<Wesley```> "Anyway, back to more important things. What'd you want to talk to me about, Stella?"
<Stella`-> "Oh, just that I really really could've used your help at the power company."
<Wesley```> "Sorry about that. I was dealing with a few issues of my own at the time, and wasn't aware that was happening. Who let that bastard we caught out?"
<Barry^Mugan> "Don't look at me i was in another world at that time"

<Barry^Mugan> So were talking about almost on the money
<Barry^Mugan> ok bathroom leads to another world
<Barry^Mugan> rap 3 then 2 and you can enter the world
<AlcarGM> Ok, Summer is NOT going to be happy about that :p
<Barry^Mugan> hey not like i ment it to be a fully working portal
<AlcarGM> Summer: "Adam, you've been in the shower long en aah! Where is the bathroom?!?!"

<AlcarGM> At that moment, the LJR men outside storm the Windchasers and attack and kill everyone brutally, making Waco look like a minor tactical blunder!
<AlcarGM> Or, you all get 5 experience.
<AlcarGM> You can vote on which one you'd like :)

<EltananGM> Oddly enough, Lucien, you notice that the closer you get to the attic proper, the more all the architecture seems to be ridiculously reinforced.
<lucien``> EltananGM: that doesn't seem very odd, for some reason =P
<Adwyn> « I have this horrible image of Ctuhlhu meets Amber.... »
<EltananGM> ((Nah, Benedict could kick Cthulhu's ASS))

* Adwyn calls up the image of the Pattern in his mind and begins trying his detection sorcery again, trying to get a feel for whatever did this.
<EltananGM> Adwyn- There is a feeling of immense power here, but it's nothing your detection spell is designed to detect. The equivalant would be getting a <SYNTAX ERROR - VARIABLE OUT OF RANGE> response from a C compiler.
<lucien``> ((you don't get those from c compilers, so that's pretty scary *grin* ;))
<EltananGM> ((I know. frightening, isn't it?))

<Warner> hmm we could have a plot where our PCs are now old and trying to indoctornate a new set of heros to take our place on the world so we can retire :)
<Adwyn> LOL! That would be funny.
<Warner> we can run around ploting to create situations to make a new set of reluctant PC's into the worlds new heros :)
<Warner> going around ruining a young farmers land to make him go to the city where adventure is sure to await him
<Adwyn> that would be a fun plot :) Creating new heroes by force. hehe

<Warner> the gods will have put this idea into Gaels head. The rest of ya will have your doubts but Gael insists that abducting people and cursing them to wander the world looking for true love is good for the world and the economy :)
<Warner> we'll all be nothing but high powered plot devices :)

<EltananGM> ((okay, you DO know that in order to use the Pattern to shadow walk, you actually have to be MOVING, right?))
<lucien``> ((we're trying to shadow walk to Kafsha now))
<lucien``> ((we're moving :))
<EltananGM> ((and neither of you has ever BEEN to Kafsha... hmm, tricky.))
<lucien``> ((yup heh. we're trying to get somewhere within the general vicinity so we can figure it out from there))
<EltananGM> ((okay, you're basically walking through the mountains, at night, trying to change details as you go to coincide with what you think Kafsha is like. Oboy, better visualize that needle, and hope you're not allergic to hay.))

<lucien``> ((how am I feeling?))
<EltananGM> You find, with some surprise, that you are in a relatively normal-looking forest glade-- you're almost sure those are Oak trees.. it appears to be around noon. It's warm.
<EltananGM> ((You both feel like you've been chewed up by a giant, swallowed, digested, puked back up, reconstituted in a blasting chamber, and then run over with a sixteen-thousand ton steamroller))
<lucien``> ((ah, in that case, I pass out.)) =P

<EltananGM> The sounds of the birds chirping in the trees and the warm sunlight streaming down between the branches combines with the fragrence of summertime forest in the air to create a feeling of utter relaxation and tranquility in both of you.
<Adwyn> « Its a trap! »

<Eltanan> One thing though,
<Eltanan> In the novels, certain situations were solved in certain ways. You might come up with the same situations, but you'll almost certainly have to find different solutions.
<Eltanan> something to ponder. =>
<Alcar> Makes sense. They were characters in a nvoel, WE'RE PCs!

<Eltanan> Torturing players with wonderings is one of my favorite parts of being a GM. In a sense, building a good and interesting story is just a necessary bit in order to entice the players to wonder things.

<AlcarGM> V:tm it's d&d, except it's modern earth and you have to act really angsty. Sort of like "Woe! Woe! I am undead! Woe is me!" *humans come, to kill you and end your life. You slaughter them all* 'No! I have killed! Woe is me!"

* ArthurQ wants to go around blowing up terrorists and child abusers
<ArthurQ> heh
<ArthurQ> thats gonna be his driving force....
<AlcarGM> Whats a terrorist? :p
<Wesley```> you realize as a superhuman, you'd be considered a terrorist, right? ;)
<ArthurQ> man......its really sad when you can make a really good super hero character based of your real history
<ArthurQ> yes
<ArthurQ> i do

<aslhk> have you ever played from a module before?
<AlcarGM> Yeah.
* AlcarGM hated it :)
<aslhk> AlcarGM: *laugh* yeah, it was my first time
<aslhk> AlcarGM: I felt like I was in a multiplayer choose your own adventure book for illiterate people.

* AlcarGM resists the urge to do anthing else evil right now :p
<Wesley```> ((you mean there's more you can do??))
<AlcarGM> « Isn't there always? :p »

* Wesley``` heads for the cemetary, giving Lance a call on his way
<AlcarGM> You want to go to the cemetary now or save it for next session?
<AlcarGM> Ok. Lance ansers n the 3rd ring. "Christensen here."
<AlcarGM> EXP: 8 :p
<Wesley```> "Hey, this's Wesley. Can I put you on hold? We're at the end of the session."
<Wesley```> EXP: 8. Sanity Loss: 100
<Wesley```> Next Session: Cthulhu-spawn ninja squads, more of the exact same conversations, and Hamster, the Yellow King.
<AlcarGM> Actuallty, the yellow king has already been in the game :p Or at least soem monks in yellow robes

<Eltanan> most people can't roleplay nonhumans. =P
<aslhk> Eltanan: yeah, but most people can't roleplay humans, either =P

* Eltanan does a ridiculously complicated martial arts move, making the background behind him suddenly turn black for no apparant reason with lightning bolts flying across it. As he flourishes the final pose, a disembodied voice shouts out "Triple-strike spinning fist of the North Star!" from every direction. Now THAT'S a fighting system!

<Jacob``-> (( interestingly, the word for elf in goblin also means "horny food" :P or not :) ))
<Griki> « eeww! »

<DarkkinDM> two bolts of lightning strike the gate blowing it off its hinges and turning whats left of it into a flameing mass
<Zane```> ((are we through the gate by now? if not, that's a bad thing))
<Zane```> ((on the other hand, if we are, that's a good thing))

<DarkkinDM> A hand comes out of the cloud and seems to be in a swating mood as it comes down at you all
<Zane```> "Truly, we have been forsaken."
<DarkkinDM> The hand starts to come down on the party anyone going to move?
* Zane``` mouths something. Those of you good at reading lips would see "Bigsby's Hand... the Final Frontier..."
<Jayleena> ((new spell?))

<Zane```> ((i'm hoping there's a general away direction from the hand and chopsticks we can escape to :))

<DarkkinDM> k Jacob your unable to fly with Jayleena on your neck..shes in full dwarven plate mail
<Jacob``-> (( well she weight 145 woithout equipment, if her total is less than 153 lb, I actually can ))
<Jayleena> ((Half!))
* Jayleena looks up the weight on halfplate
<Griki> « Jacob is grounded :p »
<Zane```> ((you expect plate mail to weigh 8 lbs?))

<DarkkinDM> Jacob takes a deadly shock and falls from the sky just alittle hurt
<Jayleena> ((literaly a bug zapper?))
<DarkkinDM> (yup)
* Jacob``- blinks, stunned, and tries to recover
<Jayleena> ((what the hell?? why!?))
* Zane``` runs towards Jacob, to help get him up and keep him running
<Jayleena> ((is this one of those high DMing experiances you were talking about?))

<DarkkinDM> The door opens on the box and a man in a white coat comes out
<DarkkinDM> "You all did well but the tests over please exit"

<Zane```> "I don't think you understood us the first time. Explain."
<DarkkinDM> You see the man marking off boxes on a pad of papper
<DarkkinDM> "Why do i need to explain"
<Zane```> "Because I'd like to know what's going on here."
<DarkkinDM> "Why were testing the limits of alcar's brain"
<Griki> "What's an Alcar?"
<Jacob``-> "Who?"
<DarkkinDM> "We had to hook him up to see if he was not lieing about being a god of creation and able to summon up this Sparkie being"

* DarkkinDM thinks the players are crazy to have played on this long
<Jacob``-> (( well Dark, I asked you before if there was a point, so I stayed on to find out what it was :P ))

<Max^Mason> "Mis Windchaser i'd love to join your family for dinner"
<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> "You have no idea how strange.." but she smiles when she says it.
<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> "We're having vegetarian tonight."
<StarChild`-> (( ah, how the meaning of that sentance would be changed with the addition of the word "a" :) ))

<AlcarGM> Greg spins around, hamster in hand. Then gives you a confused look.
* Wesley``` looks at Greg
<Wesley```> "Are you Greg Foreman, by any chance?"
<AlcarGM> The Gm ignores the urge to have the hamster thrown and do a whole Hamster, I choose you thing :p
<Wesley```> rofl
* Wesley``` was expecting it, strangely enough ;)
<AlcarGM> « lol »

<StarChild`-> "Oh, I know this guy who's into role playing games or something, and he can do magic, and he accidentally sent my mom's store to this other world once... anyway, I guess he went back there after we got out, and now he made a portal there in our bathroom."
<Max^Mason> "why the bathroom"
<AlcarGM> Does Max want some asprin now? :)
<Max^Mason> Yes please

<Max^Mason> "can i see this bathroom?"
<StarChild`-> "Sure, I guess." *gets up and takes him to it*
<AlcarGM> The bathroom looks perfectly normal.
* Max^Mason looks it over and wonders
<StarChild`-> "There's a trick to it."
<Max^Mason> "You said there was a portal in here don't tell me its the jon"

* Barry^Mugan crashs in from another world into the draining tub
* Barry^Mugan gets out shaking his boots off
* StarChild`- blinks.
<Barry^Mugan> "I really got to change the location of that portal exit"
<AlcarGM> <Bender> vanishes, then reappears a moment later. 'Oh."
<StarChild`-> "Yeah, you should. Where's Adam?"
<Barry^Mugan> "Oh adam"
<AlcarGM> Stella decides to raise some snapping turtles in the tub? :)

* Barry^Mugan goes in a hurry to get adam
<StarChild`-> (( you know a better place for the portal? the closet :) ))
* Barry^Mugan flushes the jon on his way back
<ArtQ-DeadandDyingFast> ((what is this, sabrina the teenage witch?))
<Barry^Mugan> ((what then we'd be like those witches on tv i don't think so)
<AlcarGM> « Adam: "I just came out of the closet, mom!" Summer: "Oh, god, not both of you!" Elrond: "We'll save on weddings dear." :p »

* Barry^Mugan thinks that with bender and stella here he might just bring us to another world until were ready to go back
<StarChild`-> (( god, you do that too much :P ))
<AlcarGM> « Oh, dear gods, no! »
* Barry^Mugan looks around evily
<StarChild`-> (( are you sure you're not really a villain? :P ))
<AlcarGM> « LOL »
<Barry^Mugan> ((I'm only a part time hero))

<Wesley```> "Good luck, then."
<AlcarGM> Jesa smiles "And to you."
* Wesley``` leaves, still weirded out by her
<AlcarGM> « add a new power: Just Plain Lucky at 20% to your PC :) »
* Wesley``` leaves, suddenly very happy to have met this woman
<Wesley```> ;)

<Sintaqx> ok. if you eat an immortal, remove all his flesh and internal organs, and serve it at a shriner's convention as sloppy joes, would the skeleton regenerate the flesh, or would it just be running around? or would the brain have the experience of passing through the bowels of a half-dozen people?

* Alcar made one 3 int fighter once who was so cool. He saw a dragon. "Dragons are evil!" The other pcs tried to stop him with "What is 1+1?" He got a 1 (2e game) and said "e=mc²" Then attacked the gold dragon and died
<Alcar> It was fun :) The DM refused to let me lower a PC stat after that though.

<TexDKnght> stats(5)
<Sparkie> TexDKnght, arrange these stats to taste: 17 17 16 14 14 8 (86)
<TexDKnght> Hmm... 2 17s is tempting, but I don't like the 8.
<Sparkie> It's very pretty 8. Turn it sideways and you get infinity. You have something against infinity? Huh? Huh?
* Sparkie goes into a corner and sulks
<TexDKnght> <LOL> Poor, Sparkie.
<TexDKnght> I love you anyway. <G>

<Bloody_Scarlet> its funny.. you start up games.. some take off.. and others just fall at the way side.. like you put so much work into creating worlds.. and watch some crumble.. and others live.. your like playing god
<AlcarDM> lol
<AlcarDM> Yeah, in some ways :)

<AlcarDM> Durk heads off after you with a spear in his hand and whistling an old dwarven melody. Coming from him, it sounds like an orc funeral lament. It might scare away goblins, if you're lucky.
<Rhaet> "Keep that a bit quieter, Durk. Sound carries too well in these halls."
<AlcarDM> Durk "Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work we go. And a one, two, three, f ... Oh. Right, Rhaet. Sorry."
* Rhaet shakes his head, grinning, and does the scouting thing

<Bloody_Scarlet> you should write a book on how you create worlds " how to be a GOD, in twelve easy steps"
<AlcarDM> step1: "Let there be a computer!"
<Bloody_Scarlet> step2 "create an evil force to control the actions of your heros in your world, to play chance on thier lives... spawn a bot

<AlcarDM> Durk staggers as an arrow slams into his chest and stands for a moment with sheer willpower, then drops to the ground in a slow collapse, his blood pooling on the floor. There is a screch of pain behind you where the one goblins arrow flew wide and you see 12 more goblins, armed with sticks, coming out of the passage you went down.
* Rhaet looks down at Durk's body, then at the oncoming goblins, and goes verrrry very quiet
<AlcarDM> The goblins hesitate slightly for a moment. To your astonishment, one of the archers saultes Durk's body, albeit mockingly.
* Rhaet looks around, then screams, though nothing comes out. He's either too choked up, or too angry, to make any sound. Then the falchion starts swinging again
<Chaos`^> (( You're gunna kill your character before the game even begins... ))
<Rhaet> ((actually, that sorta happens :))

<AlcarDM> Vekil's voice comes to you through the pain as you strike the ground. "Such a feast I have not had in millenia. Swear to me and you will live to revenge your clan!"
* Rhaet roars, and gives one mighty swing, crumbling his killers' head into it's lower intestine
<AlcarDM> The goblin's eyes widen in sick horror and it dies without a sound.
<AlcarDM> The other 2 back up, terror writ large on their faces.
<Rhaet> "Fine. You... have it."
<AlcarDM> Vekil: "Your soul?"
<Rhaet> *gives a bloody grin* "You're going to lose that girlish figure if you keep eating like this. Take it. Our people need all the help they can get. I'll sacrifice honorable death to give it to them."
<AlcarDM> The earth flows through you like a tidal wave of wild, dark energy. Forces unknown to you, of mind, body and spirit give way and new strength rushes through you, your wounds healing, honour winning out over all else.
* Rhaet jumps to his feet, torn armor hanging limply on his body, and grins
<Rhaet> "Guess who's back?"

* Baby-Rick calls Cameron Lancaster's office
<Alcar> The phone is answered by a woman with a blond voice "Hello. This is Ventura, Ltd. Cindy speaking."
<Baby-Rick> "hi, id like to set up an appointment with Cameron Lancaster please"
<Alcar> Pause, then the sound of rustling papers and typing. "Oh, that is *so* wonderful! What's your name?!"
<Baby-Rick> "Rick"
* Baby-Rick looks at the street sign
<Baby-Rick> [whats it say?]
<Alcar> Cooper Street.
<Baby-Rick> "Rick Cooper"

<Alcar> <Imilai> "I assume the check was real......" thinks "What bank do you wish to join?"
<Alcar> « Just so the GM knows which one to have levelled next j/k »
<Baby-Rick> [hehe... that'd be funny... next session : "i need more money to make money so i can pay you back for the money to make money, and still make money"]

<Darkkin> familiar >:)
<Alcar> lol. What kind? :)
<Darkkin> well want to be creative
<Darkkin> its one thing to be a hedge wizard but another thing to be a noble
* Alcar smiles. Creative in what way?
* Alcar gets out his copy of Call of Cthulhu d20.
<Darkkin> lol
<Darkkin> i think that might scare everyone

<Baliadoc> oh sweet! i could easily be a gelatinous cube bard for planescape!!
<Alcar> How the heck do you hold your instruments? :p
* Baliadoc just sings his song
<Baliadoc> "Cube."
<Baliadoc> oh, he has another one too!
<Baliadoc> "Cube."

<ZorlinStarre> Hey That gives me an idea!
<ZorlinStarre> "Your DM always late? Or worse, your DM can't show at all? Don't let that spoil your D&D Fun! Call Dial-A-DM!"
<ZorlinStarre> For only 19.95, we will send a Dm directly to your door!
<ZorlinStarre> *Fine Legal Print* we are not responsible for the action of the DM. Should an illegal act be commited, call the local authoroities.*
<ArthurQ> *Even finer legal print* You are required to feed the DM and give him plenty of refreshment, If he becomes displeased and kills your character or steals your dice we are not responsible.

* Adwyn attempts to contact her again, desperately
<Prince^Roy> ((I'm sorry this trump is no longer is service))
<EltananGM> No response. In fact, after a few moments of trying, the trump starts to feel warm in your hand.
* Adwyn takes a deep breath and tries again, ignoring the warmth
<EltananGM> The trump starts to get hot. and hotter, and hotter. it starts to get painful to hold it.
* Adwyn wraps his hand in a sheet and continues to try
<EltananGM> The sheet starts to singe.
* Adwyn calls the Pattern to his mind to aid himself
<Dalton> ((GOOD LORD! you're gonna catch the damn castle on fire! My dad's gonna kill me!!))

<Adwyn> perfect d&d plot! As a knight *has* to save a princess from the dragon and marry her, Prnicess Bertha the Beauteous Impaired kidnaps a dragon so she can get married!
<Adwyn> Then when the PCs try and avoid marriage the royal army could hunt them down
<Dalton> or, to save a little face, the PC's could hire a group of bandits to come kidnap the princess from them after they've saved her. keep the line going :)
<Adwyn> The "banidts" could even be a new party made by the same players.
<Dalton> and once she drives them batty, they could find a way to get rid of her
<Dalton> not that they can kill her, mind you. that would guarantee their deaths, if they were ever caught

<Dalton> or, if you just kept changing PC's, you could have the townspeople get tired of her, and set her up to be kidnapped by a certain dragon :)
<Adwyn> Dragon: "Oh, dear Delta Mu! NOT AGAIN!!"
<Adwyn> The dragon hires more pcs to kidnap her from him :p
<Dalton> actually, the funny part would be to return to the knight :) and his group. then have the Dragon do his best to conceal the womans identity, so that they won't find out who she is until it's too late :)
<lucien`> pcs serving body guard duty to protect dragons from princesses

<Dalton> Dragon: "Shit, how many wizards have I eaten? Where're their damn spellbooks!? I've gotta have an illusion spell here somewhere.... shit! 3rd level? Fuck, i've gotta go level."
<Dalton> "Maybe I can just find a mask or something, name her the Masked Lady. They'll buy that, i'm a good actor."
<Dalton> "Look lady, you wanna get married? Put the mask on and keep it on, and I'll bring half my hoard of treasure as a wedding present. I can't take this anymore!"
<Adwyn> PCS as village militia: "No! A dragon is attacking our village! Go away!" Dragon: "Must level! Where aree your anthills?! They're one experience each! Give me farm animals!"
<Dalton> "I'm not here for you, you morons! You're worth, at best, a couple points of experience. Give me these dangerous bulls, with the spikey horns!"
<Dalton> "You got an orc problem? Consider it taken care of. Don't like elves? I'm your man!"

<ArthurQ> how bout playing game
<ArthurQ> where its the party
<ArthurQ> that turns the prince into the frog?
<Adwyn> Queen: "Well, after we married he gradually turned back into a frog.." :p
<Adwyn> Prince: "Oh, yeah, right. You expect *me* to kiss this toad and make her a princess? Do you have ANY idea how many babies I'd have to support?!"
<Adwyn> Prince: "We can't divorce! Her alimony payments would bankrupt the kingdom!"

<EltananGM> Random appears a bit better than he did at dinner, at least, he seems to be approaching the normal amount of vigor for an Amberite... though he still looks very drawn out along the edges. Almost as if he was sleep-deprived.
<Prince^Roy> ((What do you mean almost HE is sleep-deprived all kings are))
<Adwyn> « All kings are players in rpg games?! :p »
<lucien`> ((heh, it takes a lot of not-sleeping to make a guy who can fight a duel for days on end sleep-deprived))

<EltananGM> Random pushes the door open. Beyond is the chamber of the Pattern itself, the huge, glowing, spiraling design set into the smooth rock floor, easily a hundred and fifty yards long from end to end... the intricately geometric lines seem to glow with a blue phosphorescence.
<Adwyn> The Pattern has been replaced by 2 glowing arches...nah
<Dalton> noooo! *fires indiscriminantly*
<Adwyn> Ronald McDworkin dies horribly :p

<AlcarGM> Close to 30 people have gathered around Bloodhound, Bender and StarChild .. just looking at the 3 of you. No one said anything.
* Bloodhound``` looks at the group
<Bloodhound```> "Are any of you hurt? I was trying to minimize..." *looks up at the office building* "... nevermind."
<AlcarGM> Just people from the the buildings around here. They all seem nervous.
<AlcarGM> Some people look up at the hole and a few nervous laughs are heard in the crowd. Finally, one woman forces herself to the front. "What are you people?! What is happening here?"

* Caltak still needs to talk with some LJR people
<Alcar> Caltak - Bah. All they did was nuke your pc. Let bygones be bygones
<Caltak> they still have Naomi, as far as I know.
<Baliadoc> still... c'mon.
<Baliadoc> they nuked you and have your lover. is that soooo bad?
<Caltak> yes :P
<Baliadoc> dude, i got shot. 3 times! whatever.

* t`Elana walks with the grace of a thief and has the confidence of a warrior. Unfortunately she also has the social graces of a dwarf

<Rhaet> "So how often do humans and goblins wage war on each other?"
<AlcarDM> « Never. Mostly because goblins are terrified of the surface »
<Argenton`^> "It's a war that's been here since I was born. I don't deal much with goblins though."
<Argenton`^> (( oops ;))
<Rhaet> (("Liar!" *lops Argenton`^s head off*))
<AlcarDM> « They have this strange believe that the dreaded bright light in the sky burns the flesh and causes strange evil magics to enter the skin that kill humans yong. »

<AlcarDM> The PCs rest, awaiting the coming of night and wondering why they're all here. About mid afternoon a tired ad battered peasant arrived and tells Vengath that the army in the north is holding it's own but won't be able to send reinforecements.
<AlcarDM> It's almost believable.
<Argenton`^> (( WE'RE the ARMY? ))
<Vengath> (( Thats just it we are the army in the south))
<Argenton`^> An army of one..
<Argenton`^> (( three armies =p ))
<AlcarDM> « *smiles* You just just got your introduction to noble politics :P »
<Argenton`^> (( He's trying to kill his son off =p ))

* Rhaet waves to the children, used to them doing stuff like that, then looks about the city, studying it's simple architecture, and layout
<AlcarDM> The, ah, city is entirely wooden buildings. Most of the people look old and worn, almost like goblins except they're larger and human.
<Rhaet> (("Giant Goblins! Good lord!" *attacks them in a fatigue-induced haze*))

<Vengath> is the tower being used?
<AlcarDM> Nope.
* Vengath wants it then
<Vengath> i'm a sorcerer! i want a tower :P
<AlcarDM> lol

<WarezBert> ash from that series
<WarezBert> acted like a exp hungry fighter
<Darkkin> oh ya
<WarezBert> "oh, if i mispeak this sentence, i have to fight an army? ... oops"
<Darkkin> he reminds me of your dnd hp system
<Darkkin> Beat the crap out of him and he keeps coming back for more

<EltananGM> Flora speaks in a low, urgent voice. "Bring me through. Now."
* Lucien` brings her through
<EltananGM> (You're gonna wish you didn't just fry your armor, Lucien.)
<Lucien`> ((heheh, indeed, but I would've done it anyway =P))
<EltananGM> Flora steps into the center of the Pattern, seemingly not at all surprised by the change in scenery.
<Lucien`> ((at least the sword is out =p))
<Lucien`> ((er, wait, swordfighting on the pattern would probably be a bad idea =P))
<Baliadoc> ((nah, think of the lightshow!!))

<EltananGM> She's wearing a loose-fitting, black garment that's not at all becoming or attractive on her. That's your first clue.
<EltananGM> She smiles at you, grimly, and hisses, "You're making this too easy, youngling."
<EltananGM> (that's your second clue. Is your spider-sense tingling yet?)

<Lucien`> "You. You wanted my help?"
<EltananGM> He opens his mouth in a silent scream of fury. Very scary. "Yessss" he hisses, insanely. "Your blood can be quite useful." You can feel him gathering his psyche. Your mental power next to his feels like a mosquito next to the planet Jupiter.

<Goth-Geek> yeah, so far all i know for sure, is that magical animals are as common as non magical, should make it interesting
<Alcar> Talking animals are fun, too :)
<Alcar> As you approach the deer, it turns, having heard you step on a branch. Bambi-like brown eyes lock on yours, taking in your spear and hide armour. Then the deer says, in common and very calmly "Have you ever considered the benefits of being a vegitarian?"

<Wesley```> "But Adam has a point. Maybe something a bit more general... Like Bloodhound. Good hunting dog."
<AlcarGM> <Elrond Windchaser> "True enough. What kind of name did you have in mind? Well, besides something not copyrighted.."
<Wesley```> "And I'm not the kindest of superheros, so the blood part fits in many aspects."
<Wesley```> "Yeah. We'll see how it takes. I'm going with that for now."
<AlcarGM> <Bender> "Would I need one?"
* Wesley``` looks at Bender
<Wesley```> "No, I don't think so. On the other hand, I think you might need an actual name."

* Carrion` whispers to #1 "Well you seem to be very reliable as of so far, so I will send you with a few men to find some money tonight"
<AlcarGM> Undead Minion #1: "Right, boss. Hmm....... do you have potions of mind control I could, well, borrow?"
<Carrion`> "Yes yes, of course"
* Carrion` goes through his cloak and pulls 2 mind control potions out "This should be more than enough"
<AlcarGM> Undead Minion #1 smiles. "Now to find someone with lots of those magic wands that spit money out of machines..."
* Carrion` leading #1 through the sewers for a while talks to him about what these 'magic wands' actually are

<Vard`> "Are you free?"
<Lynette`> "Yup. By the way, do you need anyone else to help you guard the caravan, or do anything else? I need to earn some money for a sick friend."
<Vard`> "Ah." *shrugs* "we could ask the caravan master. The journey has been uneventful so far. Do you know if there are lots of bandits around these parts?"
<aslhk[gmd00d]> ((hahah! There must be bandits! This is a caravan. This is High Fantasy! I would be remiss in my duty not to provide bandits, dammit!))
<Lynette`> (( eh, you could always make the road cave in and have us all fall into a really deep dungeon :P ))
<aslhk[gmd00d]> ((Good idea!))
<aslhk[gmd00d]> ((after the bandits.))
<Lynette`> (( oop! *slaps own hand over mouth* ))

<Vard`> "She's also looking for employment it seems. Might come in handy if we get into any more mud."
<aslhk[gmd00d]> The master pauses and thinks a moment
<aslhk[gmd00d]> Well, there are rumours of bandits around. And there is that dungeon which lies beneath the pass and occassionally swallows up a caravan or two. Sure."
<Lynette`> (( oh ye gods, you were serious :P ))
<aslhk[gmd00d]> ((nah, I just thought he'd mention it =P))
<Lynette`> (( oh, phew :P ))

<WarezBert> if i ever run a spoof campaign of d&d
<WarezBert> i know what ill use as the badguys
<WarezBert> halfmachine undead
<WarezBert> ill call them the MMorg
<WarezBert> "we are the MMorg, you will be killed and metal bits shoved in"
<WarezBert> "resistance is likely, you will be ass-implanted"

<aslhk> my character in Hubris has the Super Invisibility Power--he doesn't notice what anyone else does, and no one notices what he does. That's why you guys haven't met him yet!

<AlcarGM> The Queen of the North walks out of the northern gardens, her expression rather ... unhappy. "No one toys with me!"
<aslhk> ((Tell her to keep her cool! =P))
<aslhk> ((The shock from the bad pun will kill her!))
<AlcarGM> « lol »
<StarChild`-> (( DAMN IT aslhk!!! I was about to say that! seriously!! ))
<StarChild`-> (( fuck it, I still will :P ))
<aslhk> ((lol, sorry =p i'll pretend like i didn't say it first for you))
<StarChild`-> "Woah now, just keep your cool."

* Baby_Rick tries to turn the north queen to a thin paste between two big TK hands
<Baby_Rick> [fuck subtle! i want to leave a greasy smear!]

<Baby_Rick> (to all) : "thank you for your time, i hope you have happy lives"
<AlcarGM> The man smiles nervously and scuttles away, relieved the gods didn't kill him and thankful for the child's blessing for as it is written, a child will lead them all.
<StarChild`-> (( wonderful :P ))
<AlcarGM> The kids run away, whispering to each other and generally looking both pleased and scared, like kids who saw their first porn video without mom and dad knowing about it.
<StarChild`-> (( I just thought... we could claim Rick is the next coming of Christ. He can turn water to wine, after all :P ))

<Stella`-> "Hi mom. Adam back yet?"
<AlcarGM> <Summer Windchaser> "No," mildly. She's dicing vegtables, and her anger comes out in thwe fact that she is almost attacking the board as she swings the knife into them. "He's not."
<Stella`-> "I guessed as much. Well, time to go fix that." *heads for the bathroom* :)
* Stella`- knocks three times, then two, then opens it.
<AlcarGM> You open the door of the bathroom after knocking and see a shocking sight: Therre's a sink, toilet, and bathtub in there!
<AlcarGM> No other world :p
* Stella`- blinks, then closes it and tries again, making sure she has it right.
<AlcarGM> You see the bathroom.

<DyingTwilight> run into walmart all sweaty at 3 am, grab the nearest clerk and yell "Jesus man! Where are the fucking shotgun shells! They're right behind me!" Then set back and watch the fun began

<DyingTwilight> My modern games always run like a twilight zone episode with the feeling of a resident evil game

<ElanaDM`> ((AOL is the only entity in existance that deserves Sparkie's full furry))

<Whheeee> "You know, surrender is always an option," conversationally from above. "We're very open minded that way."
<Sparkie> ElanaDM` 1d20+18: 30 bite
<Sparkie> ElanaDM` 1d8+12: 16 bite
<ElanaDM`> Nograd tears the Salamander a new one
<Whheeee> "We're so open minded we promote biting unhealthy species and giving ourselves possible viral infections ... "
* Whheeee heaves another sigh. "This is so not working out."

<Whheeee> your pc has the goblins after him, Chaos' the Undead. Caltak's pc might have entire religions after hir, Darkkins might have most human nobility after his if he seriously tries to start up a new line of nobility and WarezBert's is trying to hunt down some creature that killed some of his people
<Baliadoc> rofl
<Baliadoc> jesus...
<Whheeee> So to summarize you're all !listers and the NPCs are #game1 :p
<Baliadoc> i take it you're not going to bother with any other plot? ;)

<ElanaDM> you see a charred smoking man floating in the middle of the bar, just behind where the portal was
<Whheeee> "Who would want to make it? I mean, I suppose this place could have used a renovation, but.."
<ElanaDM> Greego: "and it looks like Ignas's flame went out for some reason"
<ElanaDM> Greego: "I have no idea"
* Sandra`- looks at the charred, smoking man ((and points to the No Smoking sign!! :P ))
<ElanaDM> Greego walks back out into the square in front of the smoldering corpse bar

<Chaos`^> (( All an elf is, is a human with pointy ears... isn't it? ))
<Sandra`-> (( nah ))
<Chaos`^> (( That's how they're preceived ))
<Sandra`-> (( eating a monkey isnt canablism :) ))
<Whheeee> « Chaos - certainly not! *I* wouldn't go around making centaurs if someone just made my ears pointy. And besides, elves are better than huamns. You never hear of the elf equivalent of the ape .... they never *had* to evolve »
<Chaos`^> (( Duh, the cat =p ))

<Scarecrow_Carried_Brain> Just get Japanese RPG's....the mecha stat's are so acurate you can build the shit

<Ike> Step out of your fantasy world, Cal.. You can't use magic.
<Caltak> I know I cant, thats why I have the wands, duh!

<Rhaet> "What are you on about?"
* Argenton`^ pulls rhaet down to his rock "They're expert marxmen.."
<Rhaet> "Are you being hunted?" (("By communists!?" - sorry, couldn't help it, with the marxmen thing :))

<AlcarDM> StarChild - The girl looks at you, then says. "He's in our world. Our laws apply here." Her expression is no longer welcoming. "I'm sorry."
* StarChild`- seems disappointed. "Well, what are you going to do with him, then?"
<AlcarDM> StarChild - The girl looks at you, then says "Death, if he's lucky."
* StarChild`- blinks. "Ut oh. Um... isn't there any way I can get him back? I don't think our mother would like it if I came back and told her he was killed by druids living in a giant tree... And she's probably want me to submit to a drug test..."

<Argenton`^> "Who's Vikel?"
<Rhaet> "Someone I currently owe a debt to."
<Argenton`^> "Oh... Well.. A small debt isn't your soul.. right?"
<Rhaet> "My soul? Not yet. Others souls, now that's a different storry."
<Argenton`^> "I'll pretend I didn't hear that.."

<Vengath> "I do amire such work"
<Vengath> "Theres not many works at all on the dead walking like this"
<Rhaet> "Well, evil is said to have many faces."
<Rhaet> "It's an attempt at style, I suppose. Though all evil really seems to have a problem with being clean, it seems."
<AlcarDM> « Hey! I shower every day! »

<Rhaet> "I'm going to clean the wound, then. Vengath, I'll need a few things to help me."
* Rhaet rattles off the names of a few herbs and salts, some of which one would only find underground, most likely :)
* Argenton`^ falls over from the pain of his skin being eaten alive =p
<Vengath> "Check with the servents they will help"
<AlcarDM> Argenton whispers "Brraaiinnnns." Ok, maybe not. But it's tempting.
<Rhaet> "Fine, forget that. I need a very clean knife, and I need it now."
<Rhaet> "Your servants be damned! This man needs help, and you're the only one here. Get your scrawny behind moving!"
* Argenton`^ makes a mental note to kill Vengath first when he becomes a zombie.. or even if he doesn't...

<AlcarDM> Summer is in the kitchen, making supper. She looks up. "Oh! You're back! Did you find him?"
<StarChild`-> "Yeah. Apparently, pretending to be highborn is a very, very serious offense over there. Luckily I convinced them to let him go. He's a little... worse for wear, though, but I think I know someone who can help." *looks up Wesley's number (as she lost his card before :P) and tries to call him*
<Rhaet> (("Stella? Bad news. I'm a fucking dwarf right now. I'll get back to you."))

<StarChild`-> "Oh by the way, the bathroom isnt a portal anymore, so no need to worry about that."
<AlcarDM> <Summer Windchaser> "That's good." She frowns. "Serious offense? Is he all right?"
<StarChild`-> "Well, he's alive. He's just going to be a bit... calmer and quieter for a while."
<AlcarDM> « Oh, that's sick »
<Vengath> ((ya hehe))
<AlcarDM> Bender makes a strangled sound behind StarChild
<Vengath> ((i hope summer does not have mind reading..oh wait shes a mother she does!))
<StarChild`-> (( what? :P ))
<StarChild`-> (( what? should I have said "Oh yeah, he's fine, but they just chopped off his tongue and balls. But other then that, he's fine, yeah." ))

<AlcarGM> Tracy: "Oh, so the hero is the one who is standing after the fight is over and over a few city blocks are destroyed?" sarcastically
<ArthurQ> With my powers i would protect the few people i cared about........but i wont lie....i would go out of my way to hurt those that did wrong...like what happend in Newyork...*Sigh*.. um..if. .. If i had them that is.
<StarChild`-> (( oh, nice coverup :P ))

<AlcarGM> SuitL "We're not moving, but the sensors thing we are.." nervously.
<Max^Mason> "gah.."
<Max^Mason> "Full Charge on weapons will see if we can break the barrier"
* Max^Mason backs up some tho and begins fireing
<AlcarGM> Suit: "Weapons.. away." *pause* "According to sensors, we just killed 3 birds." *Pause* "Barrier unharmed. Composition of barrier unknown."
<Max^Mason> "hmm..."
<Max^Mason> "i hate to say this but we need help.."
<Max^Mason> "i'll call the super friends they will help"
<Max^Mason> hehe
<Max^Mason> They are friends and they are super

<Void--> "I cant wait to play in one of Alcar's Games" <-- Proposed addiion to the list of Famous Last Words

<FnordBear> "Don't worry, there couldnt possibly be more than one tarasque!"
<Void--> um.....
<Void--> Fnord you obviously have never played Alcar's Kevren

<Ugzilla> "I turn the Vampire lord"

<FnordBear> "Look that bronze dragon we were supposed to meet is albino!"

<Tarician_DM> "Im glad mage armor protects you from magic" (As the PC enters the evil wizard's lab)

<Ugzilla> "shit! weapons!!!...(i oculd have sworn we forgot something)"

<FnordBear> "How dangerous can a couple of kobolds be?"

<Tarician_DM> "Its not very deep..."

<Tarician_DM> "Bah, troll stand no chance against me and my +1 shortsword"

<Tarician_DM> "What do you mean "theres something behind you"?"

<Tarician_DM> "How dangerous could this forest be, we're only staying one night."

<DyingTwilight> "elminster's not so tough.......right?"

<Tarician_DM> "Dont worry, i never fall asleep on watch"

<Void--> "I'll stop if you apologize and show yourself......and maybe explain what the hell is going on....."
<AlcarGM> <Bender> appears again, obviously reluctantly. Shi bites hir lip, then frowns, then looks around. Shi looks at Void then surprisingly smiles. "It might take a while..."
<Void--> Try me....
<AlcarGM> <Bender> takes a deep breath. "Oh Barry took Adam to another world, Adam pretended to be noble and got his tongue cut out and his - uh, got hurt, too. Stel - err, StarChild and me got Adam back and Barry came back and took Adam hear. And, uhm, switched bodies."
* Void-- floats there silently...
<Void--> Alright... uhg..... why cant you people keep it simple and just fight the ones trying to take over the world?
<AlcarGM> <Bender> "We do that, too. I think," apologetically

<Lucien`> "Do you think you could just make a bit of fire?"
* Adwyn shrugs. "Don't see why not." and does that, instead.
<EltananGM> ((Lucien, do you have a beard?))
<Lucien`> ((I have the feeling the proper response is, "Not any more."))
<EltananGM> ((LOL, give that man a prize))
<Lucien`> ((but yes =P))
<EltananGM> Okay, as Adwyn conjures the fire, the conjuration-energy is amplified by the proximity of the Fount and a small fireball ignites Lucien's beard.

<Adwyn> hnmm, my brain is almost toast due to lack of sleep. Would be a perfect time to run Wesley's loss of nind :p
<Adwyn> mind, too.
<Dalton```> lol
* Dalton``` really has to go in a few minutes though :)
* Adwyn is too tired to actually do it :p
<Dalton```> oh, i see :)
<Dalton```> i mean, technically, if you're in the same frame of mind i am (which i'm guessing you are), the game would actually run smoothly, if either of us had the brain-power to do it :)
<Adwyn> Yeah :)
<Adwyn> Typoing would be beyond horrible on my end :)
* Dalton``` can theoretically go insane, at this point. Whether I can portray that in character is the iffy part

<Warner> what exactly are you guys talking about if you dont mind my asking?
<Adwyn> Hubris. A nicely strange super heroic unknown armies modern earth campaign thingy.
<Warner> that all sounds normal for this channel. so whats this about someones brother not waking up?
<Adwyn> Oh. NPC is in a coma thanks to an altercation with an army of undead skeletons (well, 18 of 'em) who tried to take over the Boston Harbour.
<Warner> ah ok. that sounds more normal as well :)

<Alcar> Your father must still be in the village helping people, the dwarf and human are sleeping or eating in the kitchens.
<Alcar> « normal = back to what it should be »
<Vengath> ((ok spell only lasted one hour :P)
<Alcar> « *smacks himself* »
<Vengath> (its understandable i know my spells more than the dm :P)
<Alcar> The undead aren't moving anyhow, perhaps because it's day time or they've tried to leave and haven't been able to. They're not fidgeting or breathing and look as if they are still frozen, in effect.
<Alcar> « "As the DM recovers, the crowd goes wild!" »

<Tech-Sensei> !wildmagic Sparkie
<Surge-bot> Wild magic effect 3607 is: Sparkie attracts moths like a flame

<crOSswire> !wildmagic Sparkie
<Sparkie> Wild magic effect 5890 is: Sparkie's touch causes water to become carbonated for 1d10 turns

* Vengath goes over to his servent wondering why he's still there and asks him about why he brings the coat and such
<Alcar> The invisible servant replies in a voice much like the whisper of a demented psychopath as he stands behind you with a long, sharp knife....
* Alcar glares at Sparkie . .Put that down!
<Alcar> Ahem. The invisible servant replies in a voice much like the whisper of a summer breeze.
<Alcar> I. Servant: "Metal smelled of rocks, my maker. You wish for larger ones?"

* Trakiss pulls a chunk of meat out of his pocket and tears a piece off, eating it hungrily
<Alcar> The servant who has been standing behind Trakiss offers some more of the now cooling roast rabbit.
* Trakiss puts more rabbit in his pocket
<Alcar> The servant shoos some flies away from the body, trying to get the bugs off the bunny.
<Rhaet```> ((wow. that was such a bad joke it was hilarious :))

<Trakiss> "musst help! needs save the people!"
* Trakiss 's tail twitches agitatedly, seemingly with a life of its own
<Rhaet```> "What is happening to your people?"
* Trakiss 's eyes assume a faraway look
<Trakiss> "gone"
* Trakiss croons the word
<Rhaet```> "What's wrong?"
<Trakiss> "gooonnnnee"
<Trakiss> "all gone"
* Vengath walks around in his lizardman boots

<Rhaet```> "Well, I tell you what. You stick around, maybe we can work something out, when I'm able to return to the mountains."
<Rhaet```> "That's the best I can do for you, until you can tell me more."
<Trakiss> "stick arounds... sticks to what?"
<Rhaet```> "Ah. I mean stay around. Help me fight off goblins, if you're a fighting sort. If I can trust you, I can tell you more."
* Trakiss twitches a bit, and blinks several times
<Trakiss> "trusst me? yes, you can, yes. tells me more now?"
<Rhaet```> "Heh, it's not that easy. You're going to have to do a bit more than just tell me I can trust you."

<Rhaet```> "And yes, I'm ready to get to work, if you don't need anything else?" *to Trakiss* "By the way, my name is Rhaet."
<Alcar> me just realised he never introduced myself. "Hi. I'm Alcar, you're sleep deprived DM of the evening! You get a game *and* the joy of the DM forgetting plot things like spell times or people being chained to walls and recovering from errors!" Hmm, it's missing something... :P
<Trakiss> [you need some typos ;p ]

<Alcar> The human, dwarf and lizardman head towards the village. By dint of superheroic effort, the DM makes no Increnible Journey references. If there was a local inn or pub, they'd close it thinking you were a joke about to enter the premises.

* Trakiss makes an 'obscuring mist' over by some bushes, and does his business

<Trakiss> so at like lvl 17 or something, when i get my lvl 9 domain spell, what'll be the logic behind me being able to summon a horde of water elementals?
<Alcar> It's magic. Since when does logic apply? :)
<Trakiss> just sayin
<Trakiss> most elementals are gods
<Trakiss> then that means i have a religious crisis when i summon them?
<Alcar> LOL. Elemental spirits are gods. The run of the mill elemental is just something made/summoned by magic

<Trakiss> "what else does it do? yess, tell me more"
<Rhaet```> "I don't think it does anything else. It's just a key."
* Trakiss seems confused
<Trakiss> "Shi Needs the key... for what? must get, but why?"
<Rhaet```> "I thought you said it was a He? I'm confused."
<Trakiss> "Semuanya iss not... either. iss... both... and not."
<Trakiss> [its religion dude :p it never gets better than confused ;p ]

<Vengath> "lets see you forge Rhaet"
<Trakiss> [wow, you are a forger? can you get me a drivers license?]

<Alcar> Rhaet finishes his work, since this is basic forging he learned when really young. And the humans won't know the difference between it and what a master smith could do, anyhow.
* Rhaet``` heads outside, enjoying the refreshing evening breeze (assuming it's evening, by now)
<Alcar> Does Rhaet want to show his scorn to humans by adding a Made in Taiwan (sp) label to the plough? :p
<Rhaet```> nah, i'm not mean :)

<Trakiss> [the most complex games often have deceptively simple rules]
<Vengath> (so whats that make dnd)
<Alcar> « One word: THAC0 »

<Alcar> Dragon: "Horse? You want my horse?" PC shouts: "HORDE!" Dragon: "No need to shout. I have one of those .. I think. Maybe i misplaced it..."
<Alcar> old dragon would be fun :)

<Wesley```> ((i'm working on it! i have to go insane, first))
<Wesley```> ((uhm... I can go to ooc if you guys wanna yell at me? :))

<Alcar> Woman: "I do not know why you are here again, old beloved. You are doing whatever you are doing to yourself. Hiding, I suspect."
<Wesley```> "I'm sorry to break this to you, but I am not 'old beloved.' First, I haven't had a date in months. Second, it makes me sound like a race horse. And why would I be hiding?"
<Alcar> The woman smiles sadly. "Only you can know that."
<Barry^Mugan> ((put the gun to your head and tell yourself if you don't stop hiding you'll fire))
<Chaos`^> (( Is that considered a hostage situation? ))

<Wesley```> "So then, who's next?"
<Alcar> There is no reply. A small stuffed teddy bear walks by you, however. Holding a meat cleaver.
* Wesley``` jumps about three feet in the air, screaming a curse
<Wesley```> "What's all that about!?"
<Alcar> The bear looks at you, his (her?) expression grim and dark. "Have you seen Jimmy? The little bastard went and got a dog as a new best friend. I'm gonna deliver Rover's head to him," in a gruff, nasty voice.
* Wesley``` doesn't really want to know why, but follows it for a while
<Wesley```> "Sweet jesus. What the hell am I on!?"

<Alcar> Odd figures are moving around you in this land. In the distance, a woman with a body to die for is doing a sensuous dance, slowly taking layers of clothing and putting them *on* erotically. The bear nods, and walks away, vanishing into the swirling landscape. Something hits the grond behind you, with the crack of a breaking neck.
<Alcar> A dead brown cow lies on the ground, body looking like a contorsionist's (sp?) nightmare. "Didn't make the jump that time," the head says conversationally. "Damned moon."
<Alcar> Oh, yes, and nothing else is moving over the moon, now.

<Alcar> <The Finder of Seekers> "What is your other question?"
<Wesley```> "Oh, nevermind. It's probably part of the damned compact, or some other gibberish you'll throw at me. Higher powers forbid anything remotely mysterious has a damn library on hand to try and help understand this stuff."
<Alcar> <The Finder of Seekers> stops smiling. "There is power and Power, seeker. I speak only truth."
<Wesley```> "Yeah, yeah. You speak truth. I speak English. You want me to understand you? Try lying a little. Too much truth and I get confused."

<Alcar> <The Finder of Seekers> shakes his head, amused. "Lies seeking more lies... "
<Wesley```> "You don't seem to get it. I'm an American. If we can do one thing right, it's lie. If you could get your head below the clouds, I'd say you should do it sometime, and see what we're like."

<Alcar> <Wendall> "Leave me alone!" The skeleton continues coming. If it's speaking, you don't hear it. Wendall sees you, and stares in shock. "Mr Lancaster?!" in a "Mr Livingston, I presume?" tone of voice. The skeleton stabs him in the back with the sword and Wnedall falsl to his knees, but you don't see any blood.
* Wesley``` pulls out his gun and shoots said skeleton in the head :)
<Alcar> The skeleton's head shatters. The body staggers and the remains of the head say "S-mart. An s-mart weapon." The skeleton dissolves into small pink flamingos.
<Wesley```> "Say hello to disco for me."

<Wesley```> "Alright, now to figure out where the hell the city went."
<Alcar> <Wendall> "I saw one. It was full of sky scrapers cutting into the sky and making it bleed orange and purple and there were angels singing rap songs," in a distant, sing-song tone. Mostly normally: "I'd rather not go back there."
<Wesley```> "That'd be LA. The genital wart of the US."

<Alcar> Wrath is somewhere outside the, uhm, snowglobe inside the paper airplane sitting on a mountain.
<Caltak> (( oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funky :) ))
* Wesley``` attempts to get himself back to Wrath
* Caltak (( tries to wrap his brain around it, but realizes he should have had the wrapping paper turned the other way, and besides, its not even the mayor's birthday yet, since the cake melted yesterday two hours later in a week before next year. ))

<WarezBert> D&D can be a nice, entertaining way of flexing your imagination, and working out some mental stress
<WarezBert> Alcars campaigns are a nice alternative to heavy drug use

<Alcar> The world changes, blurs and shudders slightly, grey fog flickering around you. There is a feeling of presure, then emptiness. You blink, or perhaps imagine you blink,. and you;'re standing in your office. In Boston. There is snow on the windows.
<Wesley```> "Wait... what?"
<Alcar> nothing replies. The office is silent except for you.
<Darkkin> ((and on your desk is a book title alice in wonderland))
<Caltak> (( on your desk is a strange white powder, and several empty syringes dripping a strange fluid :P ))

<Barry^Mugan> where am i
<Alcar> You're currently unconscious, bandaged, tied up and hanging by your ankles in Stella's bedroom closet.
<Alcar> It's not as kinky as it sounds :)
<Barry^Mugan> If i wake up theres going to be hell to pay
<Barry^Mugan> just cuz i'm going to have a headake

<Wesley```> "So it sounds like the party went sour?"
<Stella`-> "A bit, yeah."
<Alcar> Adam: "They hurt me for lying." He looks reluctant to continue.
<Stella`-> "Good moral, bad fable."

<Wesley```> "It's difficult to say for sure. After this whole thing started I began to see... things. Nothing big, just small differences in things, like catching a weird glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye. I think I went into that corner."
<Alcar> <Bender> "Oh." Shi just looks confused. "Could you explain your explanation?"
<Alcar> <Bender> looks at Wesley "Like a dream?"
<Wesley```> "I guess, but someone elses dream."
<Stella`-> (( "The dream of a drugged up looney in an institution after shock therapy. Or Alcar on a normal day. ))

<Alcar> And AI's are just fun as NPCs.
<Baliadoc> oh totally. especially ones playing God :)
<Alcar> AI: "Welcome to Elevator 5! We're going up to floor 342. As we go up, I want to ask a question: If an elevatar fal lsdown a shaft, and no one is around to hear, does it really fall? Oh, yes, and the shaft is sound proof."
<Alcar> PCs murdered by philosophical elevator.
<Alcar> It would be an unique way to go.
<Baliadoc> that's one way to put it.

<En_Sabah_Nur> i have the first session pretty much set up with all the stuff ready for 3 different directions and each of those with 3 different directions with different outcomes
<Alcar> Why bother? The PCs will end up taking option 3473.2 anyhow.
<En_Sabah_Nur> trust me there is only 3 ways. 4 if you include the pcs death
<Alcar> En_Sabah_Nur - There are *always* other ways. Always. Unless the players have no imagination or the Gm railroads a game excessively
<En_Sabah_Nur> no there is always 4 ways no matter what
<En_Sabah_Nur> the hard way, the easy way, the dm way, and death

<StarShade> If you do not need good luck, it means the DM is cheating in your favor. ;)

<StarShade> Oh, what did the Yugoloth say to the Yugoloth female?
<StarShade> Yugo-Girl!

<ArthurQ> (um describe yourself would you?)
<Bloodhound```> (lemme find myself real quick)
<AlcarGM> « lol »
<ArthurQ> (try a mirror)
<ArthurQ> (Alcar thats one for the quotes man)
<Bloodhound```> (nah, my character is not a fat, brown haired white boy ;)
<ArthurQ> (um...wtf?)
<AlcarGM> « LOL »

<AlcarGM> The recruiter looks astonished, then nods and makes some phone calls. After a few seconds, he says "Here. This is LJR central."
<StarChild`-> (( does he hand me the phone? :) ))
<AlcarGM> StarChild - Yep. You get static on the other end, then a voice "Hello?"
<StarChild`-> "Hello? This is StarChild. You probably remember me. You know, the one you blew up in orbit?"

* Void`` opens the window back up and flies out
* Bloodhound``` jumps after him, taking off at a run
<Void``> (you realize its a good 10 stories down at least?)
<Bloodhound```> (only? i am a super hero, after all. and that's what other tall buildings are for :)

<Baby_Rick> [i bet all the insurance companies have quietly declared banckruptcy and gone to join their bank accounts in switzerland]
<StarChild`-> (( and there they meet the Swiss super heroes! Bank Account Man, Swiss Army Knife Girl, and Neutrality Boy! :P ))
<Baby_Rick> [hehe, and their mascot, big blind moneylender!]
<StarChild`-> (( Which are, of course, much better then France's main super hero, The Surrenderer. :) ))
<Void``> (Or Britains, the Tea Time Man)
<StarChild`-> (( Tea Time Man and Fog Boy. ))

* Bloodhound``` takes a look around
<Void``> or do you need a scooby snack first?
<Void``> (sorry i couldnt resist)
<Bloodhound```> "Cute."
<Void``> I try
<Bloodhound```> "Don't."
<Void``> It comes and goes natrually
<Bloodhound```> "Too bad I can't nullify that, then."

<AlcarGM> John Smith doens't turn. "It is, and science cannot prove what you do. It is a tool, not an answer. And like all tools, there are some things it is good for and others it is not." after a long pause. "And all tools can be broken."
<Void``> god does not exist, plain and simple....And if he did why would he give someone that didnt belive he existed powers...
<Void``> or someone that would go around killing people.
<Void``> god....what a foolish and ignorant idea
<Bloodhound```> "God isn't foolish or ignorant. He's just another way at looking at the world."

<Bloodhound```> "And you know what's funny? There's one event in history which really shows how both Science and God coexist."
<Void``> And what event is that?
<Void``> And if you say the big bang i am gonna smack you
<Bloodhound```> "The Holocaust. Without God, the Jews couldn't have been abandoned. And talk to some of the ones that survived. They know. On the other hand, without science, there wouldn't have been big enough ovens to cook 'em in. Funny, ain't it? God and Science, working hand in hand."
<Void``> That makes no sence
<Void``> The whole thing was caused by some gay megolomaniac that wanted to take over the world.

<Void``> Why must everyone always make up stupid stories

<Void``> If you need me to save some innocent people or beat up some badguy let me know.
<Void``> but please dont preach religion to me alright?
<Void``> Its one of the things i hate most.
<Bloodhound```> "I'm not. I'm arguing logic."
<Bloodhound```> "In fact, I'd have to say I'm almost as atheist as you."
<Bloodhound```> "And was atheist, until this happened. Only God would fuck with people as much as this."

<Bloodhound```> "And anyway, when you think about terrorists flying planes into buildings, think of it like this; God's not letting his creations die. He's weeding out the ungrateful."

<Void``> Show me some visible and tangible scientific proof that he MIGHT exist. And i'll consider the possiblity of considering the possiblity that he just might have exist in some way or another.
<Bloodhound```> "You're asking an awful lot of a man you don't believe in."
<Void``> Exactly. Hence he doesnt exist.
<Bloodhound```> "So he doesn't exist because he can't do everything you want him too?"

<Darkkin> But look how many games we've played
<Alcar> Only 12 or 13 sessions so far.
<Darkkin> its not like were level 1's leveling up after 2 or 3 games
<Alcar> Its nota level based system.
<Darkkin> yes yes i know
* Darkkin sighs not really caring too much
<Caltak> you're just used to silly level based systems where your PC can become a level 20 in the span of less than a year of their life :)

<Tech-Sensei> i did want to kill mecha when he started making sexual advances on Brea's animal companion though

<WarezBert> hey DyingTwilight, if you dont want a half-outsider, how about a shapeshifter paladin? ugh... a paladin that can constantly detect thoughts *shudder*

<Tech-Sensei> D&D is better than sex.

<DarkEternity> The ship jets out of the drydock fast and does a flyby the control tower as you jet into hyperspace
*** Dr_Remi Quit (Ping timeout)
*** Offonoff Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Skrath> (and as the ship reaches hyperspace two of the crew de-materialize, including the pilot)
<Tim```> « Changes the ship name to Heart of Gold »
<Skrath> (gods help us all)

<DarkEternity> (hehe Tim the tool man Ships captain..)
<Tim```> « Yeah, Scary :) »
<DarkEternity> (The real reason they wanted him as captain is they don't want him 'fix'ing anything)

<Skrath> "Captain, with your permission, I would take on the project of, umm, improving, the IHG".
* Tim``` nods. "Granted."
* Tim``` tells the gruel bot to behave and work with Skrath.

<DarkElternity> Gruel-bot "It is forbidden to change my programing!"
<DarkElternity> (1st thing the captain does...orders a gruel bot allow somone to reprogram him :P)
<Skrath> (good captain)
<Skrath> (has his priorities straight)

<DarkElternity> Offonoff hits afew buttons and the ship comes out of hyperspace into a small star system
* Tim``` doesn't say On Screen since I assume Dove puts a map up for us without *gasp* having to be asked.
<DarkElternity> A holo map of the system appears
<DarkElternity> The sun is a red dwarf with 3 bodies floating around it
<Tim```> « Anyone we know? »
<DarkElternity> (i knew somone was going to do that)
<Dr_Remi> ((i think you should be looking to change the word bodies... not what they're doing))
<DarkElternity> (aww why tho it sounds so fun to have orbiting bodies)

* Prince^Roy sees this ship returning looking like a patchwork ship with cannons and everything
* Adwyn shudders
<Adwyn> Guns + my PC = BAD IDEA
<Prince^Roy> ya i know
<Keith`> you think alcar?
* Adwyn thinks people would realise something was wrong when the captain manned the weapons and says "Damn the photon torpedos! Full speed ahead!"

<OldManCrazy> ArtQ - Rules are a toolbox. Whatever I happen to have in front of me, I use. Roleplaying is compatible with any rules system.
<OldManCrazy> The campaign and the characters have a much greater impact on the game than what dice you roll. Or at least they should.

* Trakiss looks at the squashed remains of a cat
* Trakiss feels friendly
<Trakiss> "not be dead, yess"
<AlcarDM> « *hides* »
* Trakiss touches the cat, and the blood flows back into it [animate dead, water elemental style ;) ]
<AlcarDM> « oh, whew! That kind of friendly :p »

* Trakiss picks up the undead cat, and pushes its eyeball in delicately
* Trakiss pats its hair
<Trakiss> "youss name is tattersss"
<AlcarDM> The cat meows in shock as it's fur turns white. Trakiss has the sudden convinction the cat is named Erwin, but isn't sure why.
<Zoe`-> (( oh god please no. Please no. ))
<Trakiss> "tatterss, of the Erwin clan, yess"
* Trakiss puts down the newly named Tatterss Erwin the First

<AlcarDM> This is so strange....
<AlcarDM> Things like a lizardman causing the Baron to nearly die via cream pie is why I never, ever have set plot ideas :p

* Vengath looks to zoe "So your Zoe what brings you to Vittar manor"
<Zoe`-> "I felt the cat die."
* Vengath raise a eyebrow to Zoe
<Vengath> "You must have came here for a reason other than a cat dieing"
<Rhaet```> "Most likely to stab someone in the back."
* Zoe`- looks at Rhaet oddly

* Leech_Wilcomes plays some more ao while i think of how to make a fun and enjoyable pc thats just cute
<AlcarDM> elfling
<AlcarDM> Like a halfling, but half elf and not half human.
<AlcarDM> You find the elfling has vanished while sleeping! Elfling, you wake up in a small, cramped bed with a human girl looking down at you. "Oh, dad! Thank you for finding me this new doll!" You're now wearing a dress. Do you change your nick to Chucky now?

* Zoe`- looks at Rhaet``` "What do you have against me?"
<Rhaet```> "You're an elf."
<Zoe`-> "And?"
* Rhaet``` thinks that should explain it all
<Rhaet```> "What do you mean, and?"
<Zoe`-> "What does that have to do with anything?"
<Rhaet```> "Are you not even taught of how you threw the dwarves out of their ancestral homes anymore?"
<Zoe`-> "I did? I think I would've recalled doing that."

<Vengath> "Then let us retire soon my mother shall arive"
<Vengath> "..and my sister"
<AlcarDM> « ohh! You could marry your sister off to Rhaet! j/k »
<Trakiss> [you should marry her off to me! think of the roleplaying possibilities for the children!]
<AlcarDM> « Ewww! Half lizardmen children... »

* Argenton nods and heads to his room to confort his sword and appologise for leaving it... lol
<AlcarDM> Argenton isn't burned to death or anything, mostly because his player whimped out on having an intelligent weapon.
<Argenton> (( Alcar, if it means that much to you.. Just don't make him evil or self serving.. lol ;))
<AlcarDM> « hehehe Argenton. Naw, was just kidding :) »
<Argenton> (( Yeah, you can't do it can you? ;))
<Argenton> (( It's intelligent.. It just can't talk.. yet lol ))
<AlcarDM> « That would work, it can communicate by morse code, and since morse code doesn't exist, it's perfectly useless :P »

<AlcarDM> You could have a heart to heart with Rhaet' Zoe. One of you might actually lose a heart by the end of it, mind you.
<Zoe`-> (( Hey! Good Idea! And I might not be kidding about thinking that's a good idea, either! :P ))
<AlcarDM> « .... »
<AlcarDM> At least it won't involve cream pies.....
<Rhaet```> ((well, looks like we'll solve the whole 'dwarf and elf not traveling together' problem real quick then :))

* Zoe`- is bored for a while... then goes and knocks on Rhaet's door. Seriously. :P
<Rhaet```> "Who is it?"
<Zoe`-> "It's me."
<Rhaet```> "What is it?"
<Zoe`-> "Pardon?"
<Rhaet```> "What do you want?"
<Zoe`-> "To talk."
<Rhaet```> "Can you be more specific?"
<Argenton> (( i wanna make little gnomes ))
<Zoe`-> "Uh... to exchange ideas via vocalization?"

<AlcarDM> It can be used to give a weapon a keen edge (as the spell) w/ 1/4 of a bottle. a full bottle can be used to make one a vorpal blade
<Vengath> wow
<Vengath> Does it say on how it is done
<AlcarDM> pour it on the weapon, use 20 points and it's permanent. Even wizards can do it.
<Vengath> wow
* Vengath goes down to the kitchen and makes the meat cleaver a vorpal blade :P
<AlcarDM> the .... meat ... cleaver. You use a bottle of dragons blood to make the meat cleaver into a vorpal blade?
<Vengath> na
<Vengath> i didn't want to be that evil
<AlcarDM> You'd have the world's most expensive meat cleaver ;)

<Rhaet```> "Your people are responsible for creating the four lands. In that process, they also decided that we needed to be kept to one quarter of the blasted division. As such, they drove us from our ancestral homes, which we barely managed to lock up before we all crowded into one city together."
<Zoe`-> "Really, the elves did that? Huh, I'm surprised."
<Rhaet```> "Ever since, we've lived with over crowding, disease, and famine. Once those factors culled our numbers, the goblins decided to move in."
<Rhaet```> "We've been fighting a war with them ever since."
<Zoe`-> "That's horrible..."
<Rhaet```> "What are you?"
<Zoe`-> "why, I'm... an elf."
<Rhaet```> "Elves aren't that stupid. They're too egotistical to keep up a ruse like that for this long."
<Zoe`-> "A ruse like what?"
<Rhaet```> "Like being a bloody moron."

<ArthurQ> have any spare pc's?
<DarkElternity> (Nothing on hand ArthurQ unless you want to run sensors as a bridge crewmen)
<ArthurQ> (uhhh.....sure..do i get a nifty gun)
<DarkElternity> (no guns..not after what tim did)
<Tim```> « I could send him a certain weapons officer I have named Sorrin :) »
<OffonOff> (oh dear lord Sorrin was bad)

<lucien`> "As Dalton seems to be occupied, I shall introduce him. He is Prince Dalton of Amber, son of Benedict. I assume you and he have put aside your differences for now?"
<Hastur`> I had no differences with him.
<Hastur`> (( what, he just walked up and tried to kill you? "well, yeah...") ))
<lucien`> "I see. I was under the wrong impression, then, I suppose."

* Stella`- takes out a wand. "Star Power... Activate!" she spins around and glows, while colors fly around her and ribbons fly onto her and form into her costume... oh wait, wrong show! :P
* Stella`- just changes in a somehwta less-spectacular way :P

<StarChild`-> (( typ there, Woid :P ))
<StarChild`-> (( *typo, lol ))
<Woid``> (um nope, its a joke.... hehe)
<Woid``> (white void....woid...get it?)
<StarChild`-> (( oic ))
<AlcarGM> « you misspelled typo ..... »
<AlcarGM> « is awed :) »

* StarChild`- flies towards the skeletons, a blade of energy appearing in her hand.
<StarChild`-> "Now what exactly do you boneheads want?"
<Conflict`> "We want what the liveing has!"
<StarChild`-> "Taxes?"

<AlcarGM> StarChild flies through the fire, it not seeming ot faze her at all
<Carrion_the_Ever-Living> oh shit
<StarChild`-> (( ah, how good it feels when you make the bag guys curse :) ))

<En_Sabah_Nur> roll int check dc 14 to understadn the map
<Pike``> 1d20 int check dc 14, cause there's no way we're stopping to ask for directions. All human male party.

<Tim```> I know! We can do Star Trek and have all the importnat people (PCs) beam down (leave the ship) to take stupid risks :p
<DarkEternity> lol
* Tim``` would need to get my shirt torn off, tho. By some cute alien woman who either loves me, or has sex with me or both and dies before the end of the session
* Tim``` ponders the question if androids have chest hair or not...

<SensorsQ> (Space......the final frontier.......these are the voyagers of the starship, broken cargo. Its contiuing mission. To survive new worlds. To seek out more money and various trade routs. To boldly TRY to survive in the dead of space...)

<DarkEternity> Both Yuriziel and Collin_Windspeed just to say it again have 9mm Charge SMG's
* SensorsQ has 2 weapons tho *grin*
<Offonoff> (your ego doesn't count)

* Tim``` attempts to hack past the ice again, before threatening to shoot the computer with a gun to trigger its self preservation instincts since The dominant personality is trying to get attention :P
<DiceServ> Tim``` d20: 18 - hacking (15/7/3)
<DiceServ> Tim``` d6: 5
<Tim```> O again :)
* Tim``` checks the maps to find the core of dove if the hack fails and goes their armed and ready to shoot the computer if it doesn't let us out of hyperspace

* Caltak didnt get any weapons or equipment... just two rolls of Duct Tape. Every robot needs Duct Tape :P

<Alcar> hmm, it's easier to rp Tims combat rather than tech side, sadly enough. The only problem is if Tim kept it up, the crew'd mutiny :)
<Caltak> yeah
* Caltak thinks it'd be interesting if Tim at some point got stuck blowing up and then repairing the same peice of equipment, not realizing he;s the one breaking and fixing it :P
<Caltak> "That's it, I've had enough with this damn thing." *Boom* "Oh no, someone's broken this <insert here>!" *fix fix* "Hey, I could've sworn I blew this thing up!" *boom* "What the? I just fixed this thing..." *fix fix* :P
<Caltak> that could go on for a good... week or so :P

<Darkkin> 4lands is tomarrow :)
<Darkkin> i get to make the worlds 1st Keen Vorpal Butterknife
* Darkkin sees somone swinging a butterknife around
<Darkkin> "Don't make me hurt you"
<Alcar> Player: "But it's a vorpal blae! It should cut his head off!" GM: "It's not keen, or blunt. It's a butter knife! You'd need to use it like a saw!" Player: "But the rules say it can!"

<Alcar> The undead are entering the manor grounds. Behind them a man emerges from the wood, a were wolf ghost half dragon, half fiend vampire lich polymorphed into a Troll and cursed with immortality.
<Alcar> Hows THAT for tough to justify? :)
<Trakis> [suprisingly, once you get over the "lich ghost" part, anything is possible]
* Alcar adds Kender to it :p
* Argenton`^ just dies of shock

<Alcar> The man laughs. "Child, child, child. Your parents died by refusing to give it up. I will kill every mortal in the small village near here if you do not give it up. Your friends in Autumn died for refusing to tell me where you'd gone. They hunt you now. I will destroy you until I have it." simply, as if chatting about the weather
<Zoe`-> "This is stupid. That sword is bringing more death than a regular sword, and its not even killing directly. You should just give it to him."

* Trakis goes to drink gallons of water ;)
<Trakis> [how much do you think i would have to drink to be able to immerse the vampire in water for 3 rounds? ;A)
<Alcar> « Your serious?! I have no idea :p Lots of water, tho :) »
* Trakis calls on his god "time to score ssome browny pointsss, yesss"

* Vengath mutters afew magical curse words
<Vengath> "god this night never ends.."

*** Baliadoc is now known as Rhaet```
* Rhaet``` heads out of the forge, having worked up quite a fancy sword or something, and looks about
<Alcar> Rhaet ses Cally and Zoe talking beside a servant who's saying "I'm not dead? I'm not dead?" surroiunded by the corses of a few humans and lots of undead bodies. The ground is wet in places, scorched in others, some missing as if a smal crater had occured and the air smells vaguely of piss
<Argenton`^> (( lol, you missed alot bali ))
<Rhaet```> ((i know :))
<Rhaet```> ((i'm being filled in))

<Alcar> Well, lets see... Astrogus has left with Blackie, Rhaett doesn't want anything to do with elves, Vengath doesn't know that Zoe has had sex with her fathe, Trakis is just plain nuts.
<Alcar> And I thought that the Kevren PC group was oddly matched.
<Baliadoc> actually, the more i stay around everyone else, the easier things would be if they were all dead, or if i left :)
<Darkkin> No bali i think things are better off with out elves and the firebearer

<Alcar> It charges you, screaming a war cry in some language you don't know. It sounds greek to you.
<Bloodhound```> "I don't like being given one option. Dying is so passe."
<Alcar> Since it is greek, that's just an amazing coincidence :p
<StarChild`-> (( greek to you. HAHAHA :P ))
<Bloodhound```> "Especially to a bag of doggie treats."
<Alcar> Skeleton: "Doggie treats?" almost incoherently

<Alcar> The skeletons crumple into ash udner the same wave of force
<Alcar> It came from the East. Beyond that, you don't know what happened.
* Bloodhound``` thumps unceremoniously into the ground, sitting up a little dazedly
<Bloodhound```> "What the hell was that?"
<Barry^Mugan> "I..don't know but it got rid of the monsters"
<Alcar> « <RandomNPC> "No it didn't! You're all still here!" »

<Alcar> The man looks at Bloodhound. "Then what doy ou have to do with THIS?!" He gestures to the city
<Bloodhound```> "I was hoping you could tell me. I had some very bad meat last night, and I just got up."
<Bloodhound```> "My keen senses picked up the distress of something very dear to me: my stomach. Then I went for some fresh air, and the dead were walking the street. You think you're confused? I'm not sure whether to write the hotel, or just the restaurant."

<Bloodhound```> "Wait, go back to that heroes obliterating city streets. Who did that?"
<StarChild`-> (( dont look at me :P ))
<Darkkin> ((nor me))
<ArthurQ> (nore me..)
<Bloodhound```> (so Starchild, Barry, and Void.)
<ArthurQ> (i obliterated a police station, not a city street)
<ArthurQ> (your blasted battle with Wrath)
<StarChild`-> (( I obliterated a van :P ))
<ArthurQ> (then why did so big an area blow up? all i found was body parts!)

<Bloodhound```> "Wait, go back to that heroes obliterating city streets. Who did that?"
<Alcar> He shakes his head. "I don't know. We got it over the comm a while back. Some nasty shit going down.... everyone died on the street. People don't want answers anymore, they want revenge."
<Bloodhound```> "Oh Christ. Can't a man go out for a poorly prepared dinner and be able to simply have a horrible morning of sickness? I guess you guys wouldn't even benefit much from my help, at this point."

<Darkkin> Damn i forgot i need to do somthing good before doing another bad thing
<Darkkin> I'll give out free food and drink

<Alcar> Bloodhound arrives at the centre of town. To the left, a few streets away from the city hall, is a street thats now ruined. The buildings have all collapsed, the street looks af it it decided to become alive and have convulsions (which it did) ..... there isn't a single living person there.
* Bloodhound``` walks around and looks for signs of any of the PCs... besides the huge amounts of property damage, mind you.

<Alcar> At that moment, you feel something ... break .. you're not sure what, but something just broke, like a dam bursting. Your sense of the PCs - and their powers - returns with a rush of energy as the sessions abruptly ends :p
<Bloodhound```> I'm having my baby!

<Florana> Some times i think the computer games bring more backwards newbies than dark dungeons

<Alcar> I mean, people think Disney is good, just because it sells Donald and Mickey... kind of a scary assumption.
<Baliadoc> yeah, but the perception of good sells. it's their schtick.
<Baliadoc> on the other hand, they do as muchj as they can to avoid the public eye on potentially bad issues.
<Alcar> Yeah, so that could make them evil .... *grins* Have the CEOs be in some evil Call of Cthuhuish plot ot take over the world/ascend into another realm via corrupting childrens minds - or destroying their parents lives via a stress-filled trip to the "tourist trap" of Disney world that is a real trap and sucks out part of their souls :p
<MechaBlue> You joke, but the truth may not be far off

* Florana smiles "Want to sparr? this wait bores me"
* Taura` takes the sharpening tool she was already using and starts to sharpen her horns "Ya sure about that?"
<RaFee`> (( is that a pun or soemthing ))

<Alcar> A dog with a Fetch power. Has the power to Fetch anything it can conceicably carry, drag in its jaws :p
<Alcar> That would be.... amusing.
<Baliadoc> he'd have to have super speed, too. and possibly flight :)
<Alcar> Of course. The dog could fly through the air and carry you in his jaws :P
<Alcar> Give new meaning to doggie bag....
<Baliadoc> rofl!
<Alcar> Although that would be undignified as hell...
<Baliadoc> ya don't say? ;)

<Alcar> Up for the game?
<ArthurQ> hubris?
<ArthurQ> or other?
<Alcar> other
<ArthurQ> no phht
<Caltak> personally Id be with Art but I know youre gonna do this game anyway :P

<StarChild`-> (( I thought City Hall was impregnable! :P ))
<ArthurQ> (it cant get pregnant?)
<Barry^Mugan> ((hmm a baby city hall awww how cute)
<ArthurQ> (if it could, what would it give birth too? Village Hall? Town hall or Boro Hall?)

<Bloodhound```> "I see. So you're telling me you sense animal powers?"
<Alcar> <Dog> "And human, but they're harder. You all smell alike."
<Bloodhound```> "Interesting. Seems I'm your human counterpart then. What a happy coincidence."
<StarChild`-> (( "Greetings. I am W-3sl3, human/canine relations. This is my counterpart, D0G." ))

<Alcar> Rick, Barry - 72% of bostons population just died of radiation poisoning.
<Alcar> oh, wait, 70% - you both saved some.
<Chaos`^> ROFL! This is worse than trail!!
* Barry^Mugan really thinks void is a villian but he's to dumb to know it

<Alcar> The city looks empty. People are lying all over in streets. None of them are moving. Aside from the sounds of a few fire alarms and building alarms - now unnaturally loud in the stillness - the city feels like a tomb, very, very much like a tomb.
<Void``> Hello! Maybe they are just sleeping
<Void``> Like I intended
<StarChild`-> "The grass didnt look very 'asleep' to me, it looked more like burned to death."
<Alcar> <Dog> looks at Void, then says to Bloodhound "Never mind about the intelligence remark. I just remembered it's a human self delusion."
<Void``> Thats grass, not a person!

* Barry^Mugan` looks the city over
<Barry^Mugan`> "What hells we make ourselfs"

<Chaos`^> pc's get along as players get along...
<ArthurQ> we dont get along?
<Baliadoc> and, obviously, PC's that like to nuke towns, and beat the crap out of other PCs, like AQ, and then me, respectively.
<ArthurQ> Would you fucking stop saying that

<ArthurQ> Now you have every reason not to trust him
<ArthurQ> cause the moment he gets free, he is gonna try killing you
<Baliadoc> groovy.
<Baliadoc> party time :)
* Baliadoc hasn't had anyone actually threaten his life yet :)
* Alcar wonders why all my campaigns end up with such strange party relations...
<ArthurQ> because, you dont force the party to be nice and work together like most dm's do

<Darkkin> hmm lets see
<Darkkin> day 1 centre of city destoried
<Darkkin> day 2 40% of pop dead many more near death
<Darkkin> i wonder what happens on day 3
<Alcar> It's day 7 you should worry about :)

* Caltak kinda wishes my PC had a chance to join the LJR before helping nuke the city.. hmm.

<AlcarGM> StarChild hits Void hard just before Voids shield comes up, knocking her back a step.
* Rage` falls back but gets right back up
<Rage`> Bender will you please help me...
<Rage`> I wont fight you starchild.... Heroes shouldnt fight Heroes!
<StarChild`-> "WE'RE NO HEROES!"
* StarChild`- attacks the shield viciously

<Void``> Everyone is going to blame me........I was just trying to help...
<StarChild`-> "I know. It's not the end of the world, though. You were right about having the chance to fix things, just not about the method of fixing."
<Void``> We can stop a 200 Ton Bridge from collapsing on itself, or bring someone back from the brink of death after a heart attack. We can Light the entire city and fly through space..... we can do anything. Why cant we do that?

<Void``> How can I possibly fix killing 2 Million people
<StarChild`-> "We can't do anything. As powerful as we are, we have limits. Everone does. And that's really a good thing."
<Void``> (why do i feel like tossing out a few lines from episode 2)
<Barry^Mugan> (cuz ya seen it too many times)
<StarChild`-> "I don't know how, yet. But we can find ways."
<Void``> ("we should be! (all powerufull) She's holding us back!")
<Void``> (it fits soooooooo well into this..... Void feels just like anakin did!)

* Caltak wonders if StarChild's "It happened, and it's going to always have happened." line confused anyone :P
<ArthurQ> Nah, ive seen so many time travel episodes of startrek that i got it

<Void``> Did you know you have a dead guy in your basement?
<Void``> In stasis?
* StarChild`- looks at Void. "Oh?"
<StarChild`-> (( said as if he was mentioning we have rats :) ))
<Void``> Yes.... some chinese guy...
<StarChild`-> "oh, you mean Professor Edgebright? I was wonderign where he went."
<Alcar> « Said so casually... »
<StarChild`-> (( well :P ))
<StarChild`-> (( we killed most of the city. Ive seen more corpses in the streets that I ever did on TV. so one more death... *shrug* ))

<Gemm> I need to have Carrion create a ray of mass destruction, mount it on the university and see what happens
* Alcar blinks
<Alcar> People die? :p

<Darkkin> i'm sorry but WE the people of NEW boston will not allow us to be nuked
<Darkkin> Those of us who feel that bush is going to nuke us welll we will send that Nuke back at him
<Alcar> Uhm....
<Caltak> oh yes, im sure nuking DC will go over real well :P

<l3-37> this is funny, Im at the Black Knight's bridge, and he's telling me "None Shall Pass" so im gonna try to shoot him with a crossbow :)
<DrWhat> LOL
<l3-37> virtual reality is fun :P

* Tim``` has medical skills! Even tho i'm not sure *why*.....
<l3-37> so you can shoot first and bandage wounds later? :P
* DrWhat should have some :)
* DrWhat IS largely a pacifist, after all.
<DrWhat> Then again, what can you expect? My player made me a trader and forgot his ship has NO CARGO BAY

<Vengath> is vengath a elven magnet?
<Vengath> I mean ..geez
* Vengath gets one dwarf and he likes him and then bam elf elf elf elf elf elf
* Vengath plays wack a elf

<Argenton`^> Zoe's turning cally into a lesbian.. then she'll have cally from me!!
* Alcar shakes his head
<Alcar> the next NPC I make is going to be so ugly no pc will ever consider sex with them.
* Argenton`^ looks at vengath
<Argenton`^> I've already got a goal, you get the next npc
<Vengath> hehe

<Alcar> Cally: "I don't dance with others."
<Zoe`-> "Well, have you ever tried it?"
<Alcar> Cally: "Once," quietly.
* Zoe`- looks concerned. "Oh... did something bad happen?"
<Zoe`-> (( lets bet on how he'll die. :) ))
<Alcar> Cally nods. "He died."
<Vengath> (ya poor cally she did the wrong dance)
<Zoe`-> "Oh, dear... what from?"
<Argenton`^> (( She stepped on his foot and he started bleeding.. no one could stop it.. ))
<Zoe`-> (( damn heels lol ))
<Trakis> ["he rubbed up against me then made a funny noise"]

<Alcar> Drake thanks you all and waves good bye, having enough fodder for stories to last a few decades :)
<Vengath> ("So 2 humans some elfs and a dwarf walk into this bar and.."
<Argenton`^> (( Yeah! the dwarf ordered water!!! That's a story in itself ))
<Zoe`-> (( you forgot the big lizard :) ))
<Argenton`^> (( he comes later ))

<Zoe`-> my god this has to be the game with the most sexual references ever.

<Ike> What good is a smuggler without a ship?
<Chaos`^> You can go into debt, but you'll be owing money to some important criminal...
<Alcar> Pizza the Hutt!
<Baliadoc> yay for debt to criminals!
<Baliadoc> the best part of any game :)

<Chaos`^> Remember: All pc's must be sociable due to dm sanity rules! I don't care if unsociable is good rp, don't go running off for no reason!

* Alcar 's PC won't even know how to use modern weapons. This is going to be fun.
<ArthurQ> Alcar your seriously playing an ewok?
<Alcar> Nope. Human from a primative world. D&D wizard. :P
<ArthurQ> are you serious?!
<Alcar> Yep.
<Chaos`^> alcar's always been wierd

<Ike> I'm going all out pilot/computer use/astrogate/bluff/diplomacy..
<ArthurQ> ike......your character is gonna be a copy of mine
<Ike> ArthurQ: Not really, since I didn't know a damn thing about your character, and I'm not going to be force sensetive at all.. And I'm a freaking Twi'lek with tentacles growing out of my haed.
<ArthurQ> i just ment in the skills dept
<Ike> PCs with identacle stats and skills can be polar opposites..

<ArthurQ> I wouldnt expect the most powerfull Jedi in the galaxy to lose Physical stats
<Ike> They do..
<Ike> It's called aging.
<ArthurQ> D20 is SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY flawed for starwars
<Ike> No.. ANY RPG system is seriously flawed..

<Alcar> No system is perfect - each one is good at certain settings or game ideas.
<Alcar> A gamist system won't work in a narrative setting, for example.
<Darkkin> em Alcar
<Darkkin> I FOUND a d20 amber site
<Alcar> Oh.
* Alcar is horrfied.
<Alcar> what was it like?
<Darkkin> I don't want to talk about it

<ArthurQ> Wookies get jipped
<Ike> Yes.. Wookies got screwed in d20.
<Ike> The Empire must have written the d20 stats for a wookie..

* Lance``` also grabs his gun, and two sets of mirrored shades, which both protect any forward vision we have, as well as having small mirrored sides, so we can see backwards (provided you're okay with that, borrowed it from another game :)
* Lance``` tosses a set to Beth
<AlcarGM> Beth catches them and gives Lance a questioning look
<Lance```> "They don't mess with vision much at night, but Vampires sure get pissed when they can't use their brain voodoo."
<Lance```> "And, since you can't seem to sense them, I doubt I will either. So watch your back."
<AlcarGM> Beth: "Disney vampires .. .Goofy does have big teeth....." as the two of you hurry out. She nods.

* Lance``` hops back into the wagon of power, and heads off into that big glowing sunset. Wait, that's the power battery of happy thoughts formerly known as the Epcot center!

<ArtQ-AFK> I got Sean K Reynolds D&D Game Developer to come to an IRC chat next week in my channel
<ArtQ-AFK> If you ever had any rules questions..... i suggest you come
<AlcarGM> "If a one handed thief is wielding a short sword and wants to throw a dagger with his off hand, what are the penalties?"
<AlcarGM> Like that? :p
<ArtQ-AFK> sure!

<AlcarGM> You're currently looking at the wrought iron fence of the residental "complex"
<AlcarGM> Beth: "I'm tired of subtle.... Can you open it?"
* Lance``` nods
<Lance```> "Alright then, we go in firing. Strangely, not something I normally do. It's nice to be on vacation."
<AlcarGM> Beth looks at you, startled, then shakes her head

<Keith`> oh jer... you gotta get back into games, doc's pcs are living to long thies days

<Jeramias> Out of my pure desire for mental mastrubation, I must inquire as to whether there were any quotes about me while I was gone :)
<Keith`> hmm.. not realy but you got one about you with in less then 5 minets of being back
<Jeramias> I wouldn't put it past the likes of some memebers of our circle *cough* Baliadoc* of making cracks about the guy who isn't here ;)

<Evan_Bright> "Welcome to the group, Sabo MeyRock. I hope our trip to Myth Drannor is uneventful..."

<Caltak> hmm.. do Ewoks get a bonus to Hide when hiding in childrens' bedrooms? :P

<Yaodo> scarey thought: an Ewok taught to speak Basic by a Gungan.

* Yaodo walks over and pokes it with his spear to check it
<Tor_tonna`^> Yaodo is in the same ship he stowed away on lol
<Yaodo> (( lol! ))
<Yaodo> (( oh skip that last emote then ))

* Yaodo now thinks "ration" means "inedible stuff" :P
<Yaodo> j/k
<Imogene`> lol
<Imogene`> twinkies!
<Yaodo> where's the cream filling?
<Imogene`> removed as a biohazzard.
* Yaodo so has to find a yellow, cylindrical droid, blow it apart, and say that :P

<aslhk> I need a name for the vegetarian religion =P
<Imogene`> mcism ? :)
<aslhk> mcism? heh
<Imogene`> mcfollowers and mcfaith and mcspells...
<Imogene`> would be ironic. But not a good name :P
<aslhk> that's horrible =P

<Baliadoc> holy carp! Jer is on!
<Warner> Baliadoc you old sod! Got any new soup recipies? :)
<Baliadoc> Jeet Swesus! VV is on!
<Warner> Jeet Swesus :) that is sooo cute! You took the lord name in vain using a speach impediment. Ahhh :)

<WarezBert> i think the funniest thing to throw at high level characters
<WarezBert> is a npc undead with levels as assassin
<WarezBert> eg : a ghost template assassin
<WarezBert> watch in glee as he possesses your bestest buddy mr. cohort, and studies you for 3 rounds!
<WarezBert> oh wait, you dont know that
<WarezBert> you just see your cohort looking at you intently :p

* Void`` glares at a plant and tries to kill it with radation
<Barry^Mugan> (why do pc's on this world want the druids after them)
<StarChild`-> (( hey, they started it, with me ))

* Barry^Mugan grabs a book out from in the pack and tosses it at him
<AlcarGM> The book is labelled Spellcasting 101 by one Barry Mugan of Harvard.
<Void``> youve got to be kidding me.
<Void``> I have to be a wizard?!
<Barry^Mugan> "Look up fly"
<Void``> I think i might be better off with a sword....
* Barry^Mugan snickers
<AlcarGM> Fly has 3 versions. 1) find a bird feather and chant. 2) flap your arms and sing "I feel like chicken tonite" or 3) concentrate, speak the words of magic and wave your hands
* StarChild`- rides over near Barry and says quietly: "I just hope he never learns Wish."
* Barry^Mugan laughs at that

<AlcarGM> <Sparkie> Wild magic effect 2037 is: Caster's head turns to a sphere
<StarChild`-> roflmao
* StarChild`- hopes it doesnt wear off, even when we leave! :P
<AlcarGM> that would be a bit to evil :P
<StarChild`-> aww
<StarChild`-> you're such a hypocrit, one mionute you say something's too evil, then you go and do something more evil :P
<AlcarGM> So? :p

<Void``> yanno what sucks most about what we did StarChild`-?
<StarChild`-> "Oh I dunno, the fact we killed a whoooole lot of people?"
<Void``> well that, and that there is no more crime to fight
<StarChild`-> "Oh, there will be. There always is."

<Void``> Alright, im going to go fly across the planet and take care of some evil doers......
<Barry^Mugan> "Alight just don't start no world wars"
<Void``> Just gonna go kill bin laden thats all
* Void`` goes outside and flies off before anyone can say anything
<Void``> (alcar if he has super powers i am SO gonna smack you)

<ArthurQ> I think void is just gonna nuke the middle east completly, then simply walk into the white house and confess everything
* Alcar blinks
<Alcar> Why me?

<Marcus_Fenway> The Problem with Sneak attacking a Deity is you can do it only once...
<Keith`> depends on the deity and the exact setting
<Keith`> and weather or not they are a true god or a powerfull demi god
<Marcus_Fenway> What about an Avatar... You Sneak attack an Avatar and His Deity kills you before the Avatar turns around...
<Marcus_Fenway> Like that one Forgotten Realms God who's Avatar is a Decrepid old man, I wonder how many times he has been mugged...

<AlcarDM> The peasant - who Gurdan recognises with a sense of shock as the infamous Princess Anne - enters the dragons lair
<AlcarDM> Princess Anne glares at Egan "What's this about another princess?!" in a tone of voice best suited to starting a large scale war.
* Egan`- suddenly looks a bit frightened for a brief moment - Which is surprising in a dragon. "
<AlcarDM> Prince Taris, currently getting out of a dress and into normal cloting, stares at the new arrival in horror.
<AlcarDM> Princess Anne looks at the stripping "princess", the servant, the dragon, and comes to several conclusions she discards quickly, rinsing her mind out with soap :p

* Gurdan pulls a curtain out from his bulging sack and attempts to find something to hang it on. He gives up, and merely holds the curtain himself in front of the prince.
<AlcarDM> Prince Taris stares at Gurdan. "I don't care if my clothes are neat! I just want out of this dress!" somewhat hysterically. "It's pinching me in places i don't want to mention and I can't breathe!"
<Gurdan> "See, your highness, one of your station must be more discriminate of where and when he dresses."
<AlcarDM> Prince Taris: "But not in a real dress!!"

<AlcarDM> Bard: "Oh, look! There's the dragon. Do you want to kill him now?" in a tone of scathing contempt.
<Knight^Night> "yes.."
* Knight^Night grabs the bard and charges the dragon tossing the bard up into the air and at the dragon

* Knight^Night yells to egan "Eat him!"
<Knight^Night> "He's a Rippoff"
<Knight^Night> "you eat him and i'll pay you 100 gold!"
<Egan`-> "I dont eat humans, though."
* Egan`- hears "100 gold" and almost considers it :P
<Knight^Night> "200 gold?"
<AlcarDM> Bard (between gasps of pain) begins to sing "Knight Night rode out one day, to find an evil he could slay. He road throhgh hills, he roade through *ow* dells and cross forests tall anf mountains fell. He found one in a dark wood, and used his potion of - *ow* good, and fell in love with the orge and they lived - Damn you! - happily ever after!"
<Knight^Night> "Damn it 1000 gold!"

<Gurdan> "Well, perhaps your father will arrange a marriage for you when you return. Well, not right after you return, I mean, you'll have to live down being paraded around the castle in a dress first, your highness, but after that."
<AlcarDM> Prince Taris whimpers, then thinks about this day. "It can't be any worse than this. Can we go home now? Please?"
<Gurdan> "Certainly, your highness. But next time this sort of thing happens, you should ask them to request a more flattering dress. That colour really didn't match your complexion."
<AlcarDM> The area the deceased bard is buried in grows food surprisigly fast, largely because the food wants tog et away from the bard's ghost singing them songs. Prince Taris follows his faithful servant back to the palace, begging Gurdan to never mention this day to anyone, ever.
<Gurdan> "Oh, I hardly think anyone would be interested after last night. But you wouldn't remember that, would you?"

* Carrion` looks around to make sure no ones around and pulls out potion of small town
<AlcarGM> Potion of ... small town. Ok. % of inbreeding? :)
<Sparkie> Carrion` 1d100: 56
<Carrion`> hey why not
<Jenny`^> uncle dad?
<Barry^Mugan> uncle dad granpa

<Caltak> Dungeon Delver isnt a class, is it? if so, Im gonna laugh hysterically.
<ArthurQ> Song and Silence
* Caltak falls over
<Caltak> I cant...hehe...believe its a class....hehehe....thats horrible...
<Caltak> the concept is hilarious and horrifying at the same time..

* Caltak will have to kill all Dungeon Delvers he meets, then.
<Caltak> on principle
<ArthurQ> why?
<Caltak> it's just a crime against nature, thats why
<Caltak> well its a crime against a lot of things
<ArthurQ> i dont get it really
<aslhk> if you must ask why today, you will never understand!
<Alcar> PC: "Hi, I'm a dungeon delver, I'm here to .. " Mayor: "Get away from my daughter, you freak!" PC: ".. save your city?"
<Caltak> its called a Dungeon Delver! 'nuff said, really.

<Keith`> Sword and Sorsury
<Alcar> that a setting or ?
<Keith`> use to have its own system
<Keith`> overly detailed and heavy on rolling
<Keith`> down to the point you figured out where you hit the person
<Keith`> only redeaming factor is head shots would almost always kill some one instently

<Keith`> remember thaco you love thaco
<ArthurQ> no i dont
<Keith`> and negetive armor
* ArthurQ sets keith on ignore

<Reykemias> i used to play video games all the time, it was my life (well, a quarter of it). then i became a dm, and realized it was more fun, because i could make whatever i wanted with the game

<Keith`> what kinda professtion would be good for an ewok?
<ArthurQ> bower Flecher
* Keith` was thinking more of merchent...
<Alcar> exotic dancer
<Alcar> shaved, if you want to be really exotic :)

<Tor-Tonna`^> "I have an erand for you to run.. and I would also like you to teach this young ewok how to run his ship."
<Kerin``> He....he has a ship?
* Kerin`` recomposes himself.
<Kerin``> What is the Errand?
<Tor-Tonna`^> Luke nods and points over to an upside down frieghter next to the pyramid

<Tor-Tonna`^> You go about a Kilomiter, and ...
<Tor-Tonna`^> why am I using metrics?
<Tor-Tonna`^> You go about a mile and find a nice little fort
<Tor-Tonna`^> =p

<Tor-Tonna`^> (( sorry, was looking up ship combat ;)
<Kerin``> (crap...)
<Fooz> (i don't even know the stats on my ship so..)
<Imogene`> « just make it up :p »
<Kerin``> (i dont have the stats on mine either.. Koori has that)

<Vizero> "I do hope the Force was with you, Master, because I've a feeling it didn't feel like being with us."

<AlcarGM> Void - you realise there is someone beside you.
* Void`` turns and looks
<Bloodhound```> "Boo."
<AlcarGM> A woman is standing in mid air as if it was ground. She has long blond hair - if sunbeams could be woven into hair, it would be hers with bright azure eyes and is quite literally the most beautiful person Void has ever seen. She semms to glow - literally - ahd is just looking at him
<Bloodhound```> (Damn!)
<Bloodhound```> (darned Goddesses ruining my nifty entrance lines! this is why Bali hunts them mercilessly!)

* Bloodhound``` is flying now, btw.
<Void``> What the! Since when can you fly!
* Void`` makes sure to keep a good 200-500 feet away from bloodhound
<Void``> (at least!)
<AlcarGM> « <Bloodhound```> "Since I updated my PC sheet." »

<AlcarGM> Ishtar looks at Bloodhound for a long moment, then says "I really did love you, you know. I would have had you wail for eternity, or turned you into a wolf to slaughter men ... but that was me, then. I had no choice in my nature." She looks about to say more, but vanishes as if she's never been there at all, the sunlight passing through her and dissolving her like a dream
<Bloodhound```> "Women. Everything's a love story."

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